MJTV: MJ Asks Roxanne Awkward "First Date" Questions

Beasley Digital

Transcript

00:00Welcome to Antonio's. Thank you for coming. How can I help you? What a lovely woman with such a hideous mouth.

00:08Alright, so now let me ask you. I like this place a lot better. I'm going to be much more relaxed.

00:16Yikes. If you're going on a first date, make sure to ask these questions.

00:23Huh? Hmm? Alright.

00:27Any diseases?

00:28If you're going on a first date, make sure you ask these questions.

00:37I might go to phones on this and maybe talk to some folks that have some memories of a recent first date.

00:44Important first date data? Stuff you need to have?

00:47Yeah, this was a piece that was in USA Today a day ago.

00:52Okay, if you're getting dating advice from USA Today, life isn't working out.

00:56The reason why I'm bringing this up, well, you'll find that in a minute.

01:00Why am I bringing this up? Going on a first date, make sure to ask these questions.

01:05And the story just says, most people go on a date with the intention to get to know somebody.

01:09It sounds simple enough, but it's not always that easy.

01:11And then, if you're struggling to come up with questions for a first date, start exploring what you want to know about the other person.

01:21Are there deal breakers or red flags?

01:25Then it says, you know, manage your expectations, blah, blah.

01:30But then there's like this whole list of questions that you can ask on a first date.

01:37It says, questions may vary or the setting and context of your date is obviously going to determine certain things.

01:46But the story says that if you're feeling stuck, here are some suggestions of questions that you can actually ask to get to know somebody.

01:58All right, so put this stuff in the context.

02:00You're on the first date with somebody.

02:02And this is a suggestion in the story in USA Today of questions you can ask.

02:09How do you unwind?

02:10What is your favorite memory as a child?

02:13Okay.

02:14Why don't you give me a chance to answer?

02:15These are terrible.

02:16What are people surprised to learn about you?

02:18Roxanne, what are people surprised to learn about you?

02:20I would never answer that if you just asked me that straight up.

02:23I would have a conversation with you and get to know you.

02:25These are like for robots.

02:26You know what?

02:26Hold on.

02:27Let me pretend.

02:28This is a good idea.

02:28Can we get some restaurant ambience going?

02:30Hey, do me a favor.

02:33Coop, go to YouTube and get me 10 hours of restaurant background noise.

02:39No, restaurant ambience, please, is all you need to look up.

02:42I want to feel it.

02:43All right, so where are we?

02:44Where are we having our first date?

02:46Oh, Chili's.

02:46No way.

02:48Applebee's?

02:49Yeah, absolutely.

02:50Yeah, we fancy like Applebee's on a date night.

02:54Got that Barber Street stay with the Oreo shake.

02:57Yeah, I'm trying to impress Roxanne on our first date.

03:00I'm letting her get the Bourbon Street steak with the Oreo shake.

03:04Hey, guys, welcome to Applebee's.

03:05I'm your server, Chet.

03:06I'll be taking care of you guys tonight.

03:09Oh, there it is.

03:10Oh, this is nice.

03:10This is a great place.

03:12Okay.

03:13How long is this ambience, by the way?

03:14This is 10 hours.

03:15Oh, good.

03:16Perfect.

03:17What is the actual YouTube title here?

03:20Busy Restaurant Diner 10 Hours Ambience Sounds.

03:23Yeah.

03:23That's great.

03:24Who am I on a date with?

03:25I'm on a date with Roxanne.

03:28I'm the server.

03:29Guys, welcome to Applebee's.

03:31Hi, Chet.

03:31That's a lot of flair you have on your suspenders.

03:34Hey, thanks a lot.

03:34You know, I was the server of the month every month since 2014.

03:39Hey, Chet, would you mind telling my date that he can take his mask off because we're

03:41seated now in the booth?

03:42He's safe?

03:43Yeah, Chet.

03:44Who am I?

03:45Sir, who are you?

03:46I don't know.

03:46Why am I here?

03:47Froggy's the sommelier.

03:49Excuse me.

03:49Would you like to try some of the wine at Applebee's?

03:53Would you like me to get the Applebee's Sommelier again?

03:55I have the yellow tail or is it the bare foot?

04:00Sir, sir, you're at your table.

04:01You can take your mask off.

04:03Oh, my God.

04:03You're so hideously ugly, sir.

04:04Please put your mask back on.

04:05Please put it back on.

04:06All right.

04:07So I'm on the date with Roxanne.

04:09All right.

04:09Can I get you guys some drinks?

04:10Maybe some apps?

04:10I'm going to start asking questions.

04:12Okay.

04:12So I'm going out on the first date with Roxanne.

04:15And I happen to see this USA Today piece.

04:18So I'm just going to start rolling out these questions.

04:20So I have the easy part.

04:21I'm just myself.

04:22Okay.

04:22No, you just need to answer my questions.

04:24All right.

04:24Hey, Roxanne, how do you unwind?

04:27What do you do to unwind?

04:29That's too personal.

04:32Oh, my.

04:33What?

04:34You can't say, like, go to the beach?

04:36You're the worst date ever.

04:38Wait a sec.

04:39Unless you're not.

04:40I'm more intrigued now.

04:42What do you do to unwind?

04:43I'm just kidding.

04:44I'm just kidding.

04:45No, it's okay.

04:46What do I do to unwind?

04:47I like to listen to ASMR videos.

04:51Wow, this girl's a freak.

04:54All right.

04:54Here's the next question.

04:55So what is your favorite memory as a child?

04:59My favorite memory as a child is, let me see.

05:03I would say seeing snow for the first time.

05:05And I went on.

05:08That's enough.

05:08All right.

05:09Next question.

05:10Next.

05:10What are people surprised to learn about you?

05:14Oh, I'm double-jointed.

05:16My thumbs are double-jointed.

05:17Do you want to give that information out on the first date?

05:20Yeah.

05:20I mean, you may have to hold that card to yourself for a while.

05:23Can we go back to your place now?

05:24That sounds like.

05:25Let's skip the mozzarella sticks.

05:27That's really third date information.

05:29All right.

05:30Next.

05:32How do you spend your free time?

05:33Um, I spend my free time, um, taking care of my kids.

05:38By the way, I have two children.

05:40What?

05:40You didn't tell me that in your profile?

05:43You have two kids?

05:44Two kids.

05:45Yeah.

05:45On the bottom of her profile where it said two trophies on the shelf.

05:48That's what that meant.

05:49Yeah.

05:49That's it.

05:49That was code for, I have two young children.

05:51So I take care of my kids.

05:53But Mike.

05:53Oh, this is a nice restaurant.

05:55I like this.

05:56Wait.

05:56It just shifted to lounge music.

05:59We changed restaurants real quick.

06:01I gave Coop a better selection.

06:04Hey, Coop, did that just change midstream?

06:06No, no, no.

06:07I went to a different one.

06:08Oh, you put us in a new restaurant.

06:10Yeah, we're in a new restaurant.

06:11The wait times are too long at the other one.

06:12All right.

06:13So here, Froggy's going to be your server.

06:15Chet is no longer working at the Applebee's.

06:17You have a new server.

06:18Hello.

06:18Welcome to Antonio's.

06:20Thank you for coming.

06:22How can I help you?

06:23What a lovely woman with such a hideous mouth.

06:27All right.

06:27So now let me ask.

06:29I like this place a lot better.

06:30I'm going to be much more relaxed.

06:31All right.

06:32A few more questions.

06:34What are you looking for in a relationship, Roxanne?

06:37Okay.

06:38So I do like guys with a sense of humor.

06:40All right.

06:41All right.

06:42I mean, are you guys going to order?

06:43Or am I going to stand here as you ask each other questions?

06:47Oh, do you want this one?

06:48Here, let me give you this wine.

06:49What are some of the specials today, Antonio?

06:54Well, we have a spaghetti and the meatballs.

06:57We have a lasagna.

07:01We have a cheese stick.

07:03A cheese stick?

07:04Just a single cheese stick.

07:06It's a special.

07:07And we have a tiny chicken.

07:09Mini chickens.

07:10Mini chickens.

07:11The size of the postage stamp.

07:13Is it like a chicken with dwarfism?

07:16No, it's a whole chicken, but mini.

07:18You pop them in your mouth.

07:21Bones and all.

07:23This date is very awkward, by the way.

07:26I've got two more questions.

07:27All right.

07:27I'll be back with your mini chicken.

07:29Roxanne, where do you envision yourself five years from now?

07:33Oh, well, I work with this great group of gentlemen on a morning show.

07:38And so I just envision myself there with those gentlemen.

07:42What show?

07:42Don't mind me asking.

07:43I'm just a server.

07:44What show?

07:45All right, and the final question.

07:47I love the jazz band in the lounge.

07:50Yeah, I do too.

07:50Yeah, hang on.

07:51What show do you listen to, man?

07:53It's the MJ Morning Show.

07:55Oh, that show, Doody.

07:56Yes.

07:56All right.

07:57So, Roxanne, what do you think of our date so far?

07:59We were at Applebee's, and then suddenly we were transported to Antonio's Italian.

08:05I like it.

08:06Yeah.

08:06Yes, Antonio.

08:07Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt.

08:08Go ahead.

08:09You're on a date.

08:09All right, can you leave now?

08:11I want to talk.

08:12This is my first date.

08:12I'll be back with the plate of the mini chicken.

08:16All right.

08:17All right.

08:18Roxanne, have you ever had sex on the first date?

08:24We're on a date, and you're asking me that?

08:25Yeah, yeah.

08:26No.

08:26Is that on your list?

08:27Does USA Today say that as a suggested question?

08:30No, that's not on the list.

08:31Oh, okay.

08:31All right.

08:33Whoa.

08:35That was just your improv.

08:36I just thought I'd just toss it in as the grand finale to this bit.

08:40Honestly, if you wanted a longer conversation, ask about the date she doesn't have it on

08:44first date.

08:44Can we leave this on for the whole show?

08:46Should we do it from now on?

08:48It's like the Tom Steele show.

08:49Should the MJ morning show just be like it's coming from a lounge every morning?

08:54It should be.

08:55Welcome to the morning show lounge.

08:57Hey.

08:57That's the best morning lounge.

09:00I'm just here eating some Bourbon Street steak.

09:01Can we have some raindrops, too?

09:03Like some nice jazzy rain?

09:04Is that true?

09:05Never on the first date?

09:05No.

09:06MJ?

09:07Inappropriate.

09:08You know, Doug and I were together.

09:09We were like friend dating from like six months.

09:13How about you?

09:13Did you ever have sex with Death Beth?

09:16What was her name?

09:16Death.

09:17Death.

09:17No, Beth wasn't Death.

09:19The mom was Death Beth.

09:20Listen, Michelle's listening now.

09:22Please don't bring up.

09:22Oh, you can ask Roxanne, but I can't ask you?

09:24Don't bring up the exes, all right?

09:26We stop.

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