Crazy Escape Stories

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share what they have escaped from and the stories include a random basement with guys cooking pancakes upstairs, a lesbian threesome and a house equipped with a two-story sex machine.

Transcript

00:00where did you escape from

00:12good morning anonymous how are you

00:15hey what's up pretty good how are you good so you sent us this email and

00:20you know don't name the bar or anything but kind of take us through the night

00:24of what happened at the time i was in my early 20s and i started talking to some

00:29woman probably in her 40s or so and just talking a little bit flirting a little

00:33bit and next thing i know it was like you know i got it i started feeling a

00:37little more buzzed up than usual and next thing i know bam i just wake up the

00:41next morning in some basement i've never been in before

00:44start to walk up the stairs and there's just two men i've never seen in my

00:49entire life just in the kitchen making pancakes like it's just another

00:53sunday morning okay and so what did you say to these two

00:58pancake making fellas i think i looked at him and just sort of didn't really

01:01know what to say so i just started walking towards the front door

01:03and they both just sort of watched me walk towards the door like one of what's

01:07going on i look over in the living room and there's this 80 year old couple just

01:10watching tv and they're looking at me all weird and i've never seen them a day in

01:13my life and i really didn't know what to say and i heard her whisper something to

01:17the to the old man something like taken care of or something like that

01:20and at that point i just i said well thanks for your hospitality and i just

01:26opened the front door and just started walking as fast as i possibly could

01:29well dude whatever the story at least you escaped right i mean you're out

01:41you're not still in that basement could you imagine waking up in a random

01:44basement you don't know where you are i cannot and i can't piece together what

01:48happened from that drink till then and you come upstairs and i'm like just making

01:51some pancakes for you

01:52no yep and my brother that's right yeah we're just hanging out making some

02:05stuff before we carve up your skin breakfast is the most important meal of

02:10the day oh you gotta eat so you're chubby the grandparents really take it though away like

02:18the scariness yeah because i've seen like tv movies and crap where the whole family's

02:24in on it right they know it's crazy but grandpa's been filleting people for a long

02:28time long line of us he's like the old buffalo bill right that's not how you skin a man

02:34grandpa bill that's grandpa bill yeah yeah

02:37you let him get away i wanted to fly him i was just starting to take my wiener boat

02:51a long line of buffalo bills yeah uh jim good morning how are you man hey uh yeah i was uh a

03:03maintenance guy and there was a couple of lesbians that you know i'd always you know make a pass at

03:08and uh eventually they finally invited me back to their place well uh anyways you know i was going

03:14down on one you know and next thing i know i feel something cold on my backside

03:21wet and the other girl's got a strap on on and she's getting ready to hit me from the back

03:29yeah and i jumped up and freaked out uh grabbed my clothes ran out of their apartment with uh just

03:36my underwear on many guests wouldn't say no to a lesbian threesome invitation no lesbians invite

03:42you up into the bedroom they knew that too and it was like okay you really want to do this huh

03:46it's all fun and games till you feel the cold drops of lube on your back

03:50oh that feels like anal lube i think they were messing with him that's cold

03:56but now it's warming up yeah what is that look out

04:02um anonymous is next here we're talking about where you escaped from what's your story

04:08uh so i work for a plumbing company and when i walk in the guy's like no i got something in my

04:16living room that most people don't have and i was like oh it can't be that bad like sure

04:20this dude had a two-story sex machine in his living room oh my goodness he built himself a two-story

04:27homemade sex machine sex machine yes it was he had an open ceiling like a open ceiling uh living room

04:35like you could there's a balcony from the second floor oh my god look over into it and it was like

04:40there was a king-sized bed underneath it and like mirrors and like he was like 60 years old too

04:46oh dirty old homemade sex machine man yep you know i got something to show you grandpa bill

04:53all right present to you bang to miss pride

04:55it's a robot it's a goddamn sex robot two-story one he's been working his whole life yeah he has

05:07tinkering away designs like an old man welcome to the fortress of bangitude i've been working on

05:16sex robots my whole life it's the ultimate design yep yep yes wow

05:25we all knew what was coming sex machine picture sex machine picture

05:31oh my god heavens

05:34twist it twist it you can you can do this can't you oh my god

05:40and we gotta turn yeah their heads there is this is a two-story sex machine

05:45and it is like look at the work oh my god there's like a robot thing up there

05:50there's sex swings there's a paddle looks like an automatic paddle

05:54what are those pulleys for over here i got an idea i call it the lube goldberg

05:59there's a pole with a mirror on it look at the mirror

06:04there's a mirror on the stripper pole oh yeah yep

06:08where's his wussy eating shelf is that here

06:11i don't know if you finale just right you'll go back in time

06:16there's nothing like sitting by the fire and having a sex machine up

06:21pounding away i imagine when it fires up too it's like one of those old like

06:28you know there's all sorts of weird noises

06:31there is no hiding that thing no no you can't you can't come over you can't

06:35throw a sheet over it or anything yeah he's too proud of it he loves it he tells

06:39everyone about it my life's work i designed it in a dream

06:41you

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