Not How I Planned It

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak asked listeners what happened in the bedroom that did not go as planned. The featured stories involve a threesome, a hot tub and a ball gag.

Transcript

00:00Hey, Nash, good morning.

00:12Hey, good morning.

00:13What's the wildest didn't turn out like I planned moment you had in the bedroom?

00:17All right.

00:17So I'm a DJ at Night at Club, and my ex-girlfriend, she was a girlfriend at that time, she was

00:24very hot, and she always told me that she had fantasies about, you know, having to do

00:28something and stuff, and I got excited.

00:29And I got excited.

00:30And then one day, I was DJing there, and she picked up a hot girl, and I was like,

00:35man, I'm going to get so lucky today.

00:36I was so excited.

00:38They went to their bedroom, and they started making out, and they locked the door.

00:41And I started knocking.

00:41I'm like, hey, I'm ready.

00:42Are you guys ready for me and stuff?

00:44And they were like, no, no, girls only.

00:46And I'm like, what?

00:47I was just sitting there trying to beg them to let me in for like 10 minutes.

00:51Anyway, 15 minutes later, I was just sitting there in the living room trying to, you know,

00:55watching TV and stuff.

00:56I thought they were missing with me the entire time.

00:59And then she came outside.

01:01She looked at me like, that's my girlfriend.

01:03She was looking at me up, like, up and down.

01:06And she was like, yeah, we're going to her place.

01:08And then she left.

01:08And I'm like, oh, my God.

01:10What the hell did I do?

01:11I was so mad.

01:12Yeah, you thought you were going to get an incredible three-zone.

01:15The poor bastard.

01:16So he's sitting there, like, watching TV and eating snacks.

01:19And they're in there just.

01:22You guys are messing with me.

01:26Come on, open the door.

01:29Lesbians.

01:31Ladies.

01:32He can't even hear it.

01:33He's listening.

01:34I can see her.

01:34Yeah, they turn the music off.

01:35He's got a glass on the door.

01:37I don't even hear anything.

01:39Are you ladies making the love?

01:41I'm going to come in just for your own safety, because I don't know what you're doing in there.

01:46I hope you're okay.

01:47They have the door locked.

01:48I'm sorry.

01:49I'm sorry.

01:50You kick the door down.

01:51Oh, you do.

01:52Don't you kick the door down?

01:54Like to assert some kind of manhood dominance?

01:57He was waiting for his invite to come in.

01:59He was like, okay.

02:02This one, one time I got a jacuzzi room in a hotel.

02:06I ended up filling the jacuzzi tub up, but I forgot to use any cold water.

02:12And I tossed the girl in there and deep fried her like a lobster.

02:15Oh, my God.

02:16He boiled her?

02:17That's not good.

02:17He said, bubbling skin is not sexy.

02:20Oh, my God.

02:20So he's probably romantically carrying her to this hot tub.

02:27He set the tone.

02:28When you turn on some music, right?

02:33It's going to be the night of your life.

02:35I got us a jacuzzi room.

02:40I knew you'd love it.

02:42I already filled it up.

02:43It's off me in there.

02:45A lot of steam coming off there.

02:47It's going to be so hot.

02:48Are you ready?

02:49All the windows and mirrors fogged up.

02:53Here we go.

02:54Okay.

02:55Just put me down.

02:56And a two.

02:57And a...

02:58It's like that scene in RoboCop when the dude gets covered in toxic waste.

03:06Exactly.

03:06The slime.

03:08Yep.

03:09Skin's coming right off.

03:12You just hit her with a car.

03:14Oh, that is horrible.

03:14She's probably like scrambling, trying to get out of there.

03:18Oh, you can't get out of boiling water.

03:20Yeah.

03:20Ruined to have beautiful skin.

03:22Yeah.

03:23Mm-hmm.

03:25Her butt probably...

03:26Beautiful skin was probably ruined.

03:28Better butt skin was really the first to be burned and had the longest.

03:35That's real bad.

03:36That's when my boyfriend and I decided to try a ball gag to spice things up.

03:40I was the user, she says.

03:43My jaw started to feel sore, so he took it off.

03:47Then I couldn't close my mouth.

03:49My jaw was stuck open.

03:51Oh, lock jaw.

03:52Lock jaw.

03:54Hey!

03:55Hey!

03:56Hey!

03:57Hey!

03:59Now we can still keep going, right?

04:013 a.m. trip to the emergency room to have it put back.

04:05How do they do that?

04:06How do they get it back when your jaw is locked?

04:09Push it back in there like a dislocated shoulder.

04:12Because, I mean, I'm not trying to avoid the hospital.

04:16Mm-hmm.

04:17Yeah, but if...

04:18I throw, like, a basketball at it.

04:21You know, like...

04:21I don't think you should do at-home jaw surgery.

04:25I don't know.

04:26I know you'd be embarrassed.

04:28It's pretty obvious how your jaw got stuck open.

04:30We're back here!

04:32What happened?

04:33Hello, gang!

04:35I don't know the old gang in there!

04:37I'm sorry, what happened to you?

04:39I had an old gang in there.

04:43Did you say you had a doll rag?

04:46No, no.

04:47It's hard to say it, because...

04:49Oh, hey.

04:52Oh, okay.

04:53I had a...

04:55An old guy.

05:01An old guy.

05:02Like a round...

05:02Old guy.

05:03You had an old guy in your mouth.

05:04That was an old guy?

05:05I don't know.

05:06A round...

05:07Oh, a round...

05:09Ball?

05:10Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

05:11Okay.

05:12You had a...

05:13All gag.

05:15Oh, and a suckle one.

05:18He's saying he's got a ball gag in there.

05:19That's what it sounds like.

05:21Uh-huh, uh-huh.

05:23Nurse Lisa, kick him in his gin.

05:26Here you go.

05:26He fix it.

05:27Oh, God.

05:28I feel so much better.

05:29I think it would hurt like a mother effer until when the pain subsided, you'd feel better,

05:34but it's no good.

05:37Oh, you would not want your jaw stuck open.

05:40Well, no.

05:41I'm not putting a ball gag in.

05:44Yeah, that's not for me.

05:45No.

05:46I look like a pig with an apple in its mouth.

05:54You came to the pig room.

05:55You put the little nose on.

05:57Oh, Jesus.

05:58You know, don't feel real sexy.

06:01Don't feel real sexy.

06:03Yeah, a ball gag.

06:04How could you be sexy in a ball gag?

06:06I don't know.

06:06People love it.

06:07People love it.

06:08Yeah, you're right.

06:09There are people who love it.

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