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If Kay Jewelers Was Honest
Cracked
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2/14/2025
Every kiss begins with Roger. #shorts #comedy #funny #ad #jewlery #valentinesday #youtubeshorts
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
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00:00
People wanted to get rid of their diamonds during the Great Depression.
00:03
That's why we decided to make campaign slogans like
00:07
Diamonds Are Forever
00:09
and Give a Diamond to a Woman
00:11
and You Might Get Lucky Tonight.
00:13
After all, these little disco nuggets are really, really shiny and rare.
00:19
Look into a diamond and you just might see forever.
00:24
My shiny-ass pebbles were discovered in the darkest corners of the Earth,
00:28
where there is sometimes slave labor.
00:31
Our rubies shine bright crimson,
00:34
like the blood of those who died mining for them.
00:36
Is diamond mining even ethical?
00:39
Why don't you ask your wife that
00:40
as you're putting on this $20,000 diamond necklace?
00:45
It's the price you pay for renewing your vows
00:48
after getting caught with the neighbor's wife shining your emeralds.
00:51
And even if you walk on such moral high ground
00:54
that even I ought to be kissing your feet,
00:56
you really have no excuse not to purchase
00:59
these gleaming lab-grown buggers.
01:03
Aside from being overwhelming and less expensive,
01:05
the quality of these diamonds is superb
01:09
and often can't be distinguished from ones found
01:12
lodged in the forearm of a diamond miner
01:14
who was caught in a shaft explosion.
01:16
For that really special someone,
01:18
we have the most expensive diamonds in the lot.
01:21
So expensive that the value depreciates
01:24
as soon as you give it to that special someone.
01:27
So you better be fucking sure she says...
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