And he's also been deploying the National Guard quite a bit... #shorts #militaryrecruitment #soldier #parody #honestads #youtubeshorts
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FunTranscript
00:00Hey, I'm here for army.
00:04Target acquired.
00:07Me?
00:08Whoa, I always knew I had what it takes.
00:10You might not have the physical strength or ideal eyesight,
00:15but you've got the most important quality the army looks for in a recruit.
00:20Your brain.
00:22More precisely, a soft, pliable mind that's susceptible to suggestion.
00:27I love the power of suggestion.
00:29No, you don't.
00:30No, I don't.
00:31Yes, you do.
00:32Sir, yes, sir.
00:33Perfect.
00:34Let's take a look at some of the super cool, super badass stuff you have in store.
00:40Skydiving, secret missions, wearing fun hats on a big boat.
00:47It's just like the video games.
00:49I knew that army Esports Twitch stream was a good idea.
00:53Joining Horton's Heroes really is like your favorite video game,
00:57especially that part where you get murked in the first five seconds.
01:02Instead of wasting your life as a faceless cog working to feed the fat cats of the world,
01:09you could be something greater, an expendable weapon for the same fat cats.
01:16Oh, where do I sign up?
01:18Right here in your local mall.
01:20If you were younger, you could go to your high school's cafeteria.
01:24We've got a table between some college dweebs and office jobs for coward losers.
01:30Is that what you want to do?
01:32Be some lowly keyboard jockey who's never had to wrestle with the morality of compelled murder?
01:39Nerd alert!
01:42I could probably never get one of those jobs anyway with the stupid economy.
01:46It's really rough out there.
01:47That's why we the government are here to offer you a generous opportunity to escape the problems we've created.
01:55It's like reverse gardening.
01:57We offer an area absolutely no sustenance whatsoever and fresh recruits pop up like daisies.
02:04Wait, you guys made all those problems?
02:07Oh, no, no, no, no.
02:09I mean other countries did this to us.
02:12I heard that in the news.
02:14I'll bet you did.
02:15Now, let's get you signed up so you can fight those dastardly, oh, Vietnamese.
02:25Oh, old news.
02:27Been there, done that.
02:29Whatever.
02:30We'll catch somebody.