If Ozempic Commercials Were Honest | [Ozempic, GLP-1, Monjauro Parody] - video Dailymotion

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Is the pharmaceutical industry taking advantage of my lack of self esteem due to the fact that I can barely crack 29 likes on instagram? Or do I have type 2 diabetes? The answer is yes. You need GotHot, a corporatized GLP-1 that’s for everyone!  Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-0dXntqR76zT7b3-iB7Q1g/join  Honest Ads Merch: https://the-cracked-dispensary.creator-spring.com Cracked.com: https://www.youtube.com/@UCjD2KyAEm84yVH8cTilID7Q   Writer: Max Fine Director: Michael Strauss DP: Rob Menzer Audio: Eduardo Perez  Voiceover: Roger Horton Blind Man: Michael Strauss Wife: Annette Storckman Woman: Man: Max Fine  #ozempic #honestads #parody

Transcript

00:00Asking the same age-old questions,

00:02am I healthy enough to spend time with my family?

00:05Do I conform to society's standards of beauty?

00:08Can I fit into the same clothes I wore when I was 15?

00:11Is the pharmaceutical industry taking advantage

00:14of my lack of self-esteem due to the fact

00:16that I can barely crack 29 likes on Instagram?

00:19Or do I have type 2 diabetes?

00:22The answer is yes.

00:24You need GotHot, a corporatized GLP-1

00:28That's for everyone.

00:30When I turned 30, my health became my priority.

00:32I started taking GLP-1 so I could fit into some

00:34tight leather pants from middle school.

00:36Repeatedly seeing the same catchy ads made me think,

00:38do I have body dysmorphia?

00:40Or have doctors arbitrarily diagnosed me as pre-diabetic,

00:43qualifying me for drugs that are made for people

00:45with type 2 diabetes?

00:47Luckily, there's GotHot.

00:49Come here, boy.

00:50GotHot let me take control of my roles of fe-

00:54my type 2 diabetes,

00:56which I had really bad.

00:58Like, really bad.

01:00GotHot is a weekly injection of semi-glutide

01:03that can improve blood sugar in adults with type 2 diabetes.

01:07It can even help with weight loss for adults

01:09who are overweight or obese,

01:11or adults who have disposable income

01:13and want to get a little hotter.

01:15No type 2 diabetes required.

01:18No one in my family has a history of diabetes.

01:20In fact, I don't even qualify as a pre-diabetic.

01:23But GLP-1s are a $70 billion industry.

01:25Ask your doctor why the United States of America

01:28is the only place where pharmaceutical companies market directly to the public.

01:32I'm just a normal person who asked my doctor how to manage my symptoms of being a size 2.

01:38I mean, size type 2 diabetic.

01:40But thanks to GotHot, I don't have to suffer.

01:43I can now live my life as a carefree, size zero.

01:48Diabetic.

01:49All I have to do is inject myself with a huge needle once a week with no medical supervision.

01:54Thanks, Jamie Schumer.

01:56I used to wake up thinking, am I going to have to exercise to eat right?

02:00You might as well ask me to become a monk, all to lose 10 pounds of type 2 diabetes,

02:07which I've had for five weeks.

02:11Your doctor will gladly over-prescribe medicines like GotHot because of payouts from pharmaceutical

02:18companies. The crazy thing is, this shit actually slaps, baby.

02:22In one large clinical trial, 1,961 overweight adults were given GLP-1 or a placebo.

02:28Those that got GLP-1 lost 14.9% of their body weight. The others lost 2.4%.

02:34Got it? I need to fit into my pants by the end of the week, okay?

02:38After the constipation, which felt like carrying around 13 cinder blocks in my colon,

02:43I was really able to feel a difference. Then came the shitting.

02:47Oh, man. It was almost like flushing out all of my type 2 diabetes

02:51every morning. I'd look in the mirror and be like, oh my god, where'd all the type 2 diabetes go?

02:58Side effects are irrelevant. You might get tired, dizzy, farty, constipated, have the runs, or die.

03:02We have to mention literally anything that happens once, even if it's extreme,

03:05because that's the law. So what if Horton's health is being sued for causing stomach paralysis?

03:09It's better than dying, right? Or even worse, dying alone because you're too, um, diabetic.

03:13GotHot is the only GLP-1 with millennial branding. So if you don't have type 2 diabetes, maybe you do.

03:19I still can't get over this needle thing, but since 90s low-rise genes are coming back,

03:25I was thin-spired to do whatever it takes. These aren't cheap.

03:31My type 2 diabetes was getting in the way of my dating life. There's only so much you can lie

03:36about on a dating profile. I was like, let me get this straight. You want me to shove this giant needle

03:42into my body without any supervision, even though I'm not diabetic? Real diabetics do it all the time.

03:50Like I said, this is literally an effective drug that has helped millions of people fight obesity

03:56and complications from diabetes. You're just a privileged idiot we put in our commercial.

04:01Take GotHot, and you can be like me. No more cravings and...

04:05Real diabetics. Oh, my stomach hurts. I do actually get memory loss. Sometimes I wake

04:12up in places that I don't remember, but I like a mystery. Some weight. Uh, type 2 diabetes wasn't

04:18the only thing that I lost. Soon my vision followed after taking GotHot. I have no idea who this woman

04:23is. But who wouldn't trade being blind for being this attractive? I mean type 2 diabetic. But you know

04:30what? 40% of Americans are clinically obese, which for us might as well be another fancy way of saying

04:3640% of Americans might have type 2 diabetes. It allows us to keep pushing these drugs on people,

04:42on those who need it and those who don't. Either way, we get paid an average of $25,000 a year per

04:48patient. So you all have type 2 diabetes. I'm actually 21 years old. My face started sagging once I lost all

04:56the type 2 diabetes. Kidney schmidneys. I finally feel like I'm me again. I will fit into those pants,

05:03I swear to God. Maybe you're a real diabetic, or maybe you're a rich yuppie fuck who would rather

05:09pay or bribe a doctor for medicine actually meant for people who need it. Trust me, even against your

05:14best judgment, you're not going to lose weight on your own. GotHot. Because you've tried almost nothing

05:20else. This message has been approved by Horton Health. I've been Roger, by the way.

05:26Good night.

If Ozempic Commercials Were Honest | [Ozempic, GLP-1, Monjauro Parody]

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