If Reality Dating Shows Were Honest | [The Bachelor, Bachelorette Parody ] Honest Ads - video Dailymotion

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00:00And just like professional wrestling, just because the storylines are fiction

00:04doesn't mean that trauma is.

00:06Drama is our business.

00:08And you can't make a dramalette without breaking a few eggs.

00:11Eggs here being the psyche of the humans we take and extract conflict from,

00:16like it's the antidote in their Ellie from The Last of Us.

00:23Before you watch this honest ad, I'm going to show you a real ad about Ground News,

00:28because they're paying me.

00:29But also, we actually use Ground News over at Honest Ad's headquarters.

00:34Ground News is a website and app developed by a former NASA engineer

00:38on a mission to give readers an easy, data-driven, objective way to read the news.

00:43Every story comes with a quick visual breakdown of the political bias,

00:47factuality, and ownership of the sources reporting.

00:50And the best part? Ground News is subscriber-funded,

00:53which means there are no ads on the platform.

00:55Let's take a look at this story about this reality TV star getting arrested at the zoo.

01:00Over 70 news outlets reported on this story,

01:02with pretty equal reporting across the political spectrum.

01:05But if you look at the bias comparison,

01:08you'll see that the center focused on the immediate legal charges,

01:11while both the left and right added some drama to spice up the story.

01:15One of my favorite features is their interactive map.

01:18I get to discover cities I've never heard of,

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01:24Go to ground.news.honest.

01:27Click the link in the video description,

01:29or scan the QR code on the screen to get 50% off their Vantage plan.

01:33By signing up, you'll not only support Honest Ads,

01:36but also help Ground News in their mission to make the media landscape more transparent.

01:41This fall, you hungry moths for trauma,

01:44you pain gluttons and drama hounds,

01:47your new favorite show is coming soon.

01:50Love, Horts.

01:52A brand new reality dating show from Horton Productions

01:55that's serving up a piping hot plate of schadenfreude schnitzel.

02:00By now you probably know the drill.

02:02We've taken 12 physical therapists slash influencers,

02:05including one bisexual who we point to for inclusivity,

02:09but also paint as a queer villain.

02:11Like if Scar from The Lion King had a tragus piercing.

02:15They'll all be treated to an all-inclusive stay

02:18in a beautiful island purgatory at an undisclosed location

02:22where there'll be wine dined and held for an undisclosed amount of time.

02:26There the competition begins.

02:29Through a series of romantic dates,

02:31endless eye-f***ing,

02:32and physical challenges,

02:34they'll attempt to earn the chance to marry this doll I made.

02:38But don't worry.

02:39Just because they're competing for the love of an entirely fictional person

02:43doesn't mean the stakes aren't high.

02:45Hey, at least we aren't outright lying to the contestants,

02:48telling them that, for example,

02:50they're romancing the real Prince Harry

02:52and bringing in fake psychiatrists to gaslight them

02:55when they notice he doesn't really look like Prince Harry.

02:58Think these shows aren't for real?

02:59No doy, you doinks.

03:01We know.

03:02It's make-believe.

03:04It's entertainment,

03:05which honestly is probably for the best.

03:08Can you imagine a show about some guy who hasn't been able to find anyone,

03:12so desperate to find a co-pilot for their deathbed

03:15that they take to the airwaves to do it?

03:17God, it would be an unwatchable, gutting autopsy of the human condition.

03:22Just thinking about it makes me want to go

03:24Joey Chestnut on a bag of cyanide pills.

03:27So yeah, we deal in fiction.

03:30This is all fun.

03:32Reality shows are fake.

03:34Congratulations, Baby Sherlock.

03:36What's your next mission?

03:37The curious case of professional wrestling being rigged?

03:41It's a goddamn Hollywood production.

03:43Your criticisms are invalid.

03:45Isn't it fun how I shut that whole angle down?

03:48Well, I had to stop it before we got to the nut of this whole thing.

03:51That even though the shows are fake,

03:53the people on it,

03:54well, some of the people on it,

03:56are real.

03:57And just like professional wrestling,

03:59just because the storylines are fiction

04:01doesn't mean that trauma is.

04:03Drama is our business.

04:05And you can't make a dramalette without breaking a few eggs.

04:08Eggs here being the psyche of the humans we take and extract conflict from,

04:13like it's the antidote in their Ellie from The Last of Us.

04:16Don't get the veil too hard and you'll see us back there

04:19doing the mental equivalent of using cattle prods

04:22to orchestrate an emotional bullfight.

04:24Let's take a look at how the sausage is made

04:27by talking to one of our little bratwursts in progress, shall we?

04:31Please, please, will someone tell me what time it is?

04:34You know you're not allowed to know that.

04:36If we throw you lifelines to reality,

04:38you'll stop that beautiful floundering.

04:41Oh, did the doctor give you your shots yet today?

04:44No.

04:46There we go.

04:47A little gasoline for the engine.

04:49Now, spill your little guts.

04:51Hey, while I'm here, I wanted to mention,

04:53it's like really hot in the mansion.

04:55Like really, really hot.

04:57Like I tried to adjust the thermostat,

04:59but it just turned out it was a cookie that someone painted and glued to the wall.

05:02Suggestion received and rejected.

05:04Look, if we gave you air conditioning, what's next?

05:06A book to read, eight hours of sleep, a gold hat?

05:09Oh, speaking of sleep, the speakers in my room

05:11were doing that thing again where they're whispering Latin

05:13and playing sounds of what sounds like maybe a distressed goat?

05:16Weird.

05:17I could have sworn the tape said

05:19calming delta waves for sleep and study.

05:22But, back to paradise.

05:24How's your day been going?

05:25Okay, I guess.

05:27I'm just chatting with Shannon by the pool, so.

05:29Shannon, huh?

05:30Oh, she's been saying some stuff about you.

05:33Some bad stuff.

05:34Stuff that makes the YouTube comments section

05:37seem like words of affirmation.

05:40Shannon?

05:41But, we get along so well.

05:43She's really my only friend here.

05:44We're from the same hometown.

05:46Well, I don't want to be telling tales outside the schoolhouse,

05:49but she's been telling the doll that you have substance abuse problems.

05:53She's also strongly implied that you were involved

05:57in the assassination of Congolese Prime Minister Patrice Lumumba.

06:02That bitch!

06:03Alright, wake up the crew.

06:05Tell them we're going to be clocking in some of that sweet non-union overtime.

06:09And to you viewers, make sure to keep an eye out for the premiere.

06:13Find out which of our contestants earn the ultimate honor,

06:16humping our chosen bachelor behind a closed door

06:19while the whole country waits outside like they're breeding pandas.

06:22Love, Horts.

06:24Coming, but never showing it on camera, this fall.

06:27I've been Roger, by the way.

06:31I'll be back.

If Reality Dating Shows Were Honest | [The Bachelor, Bachelorette Parody ] Honest Ads

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