00:00Every day, my airline sends out dozens of these metal arm tubes through the sky, which I've conquered.
00:07And we do that by packing those tubes with thousands of you butts. I mean people.
00:12Sometimes I forget that you're entire people and not butts that somehow possess plastic debt rectangles.
00:20Oh, also, please use my plastic debt rectangle. I'll give you points I made up if you do.
00:25And almost all of you will forget to turn those points into anything but the initial dopamine rush of receiving them, which is almost something.
00:34Anyway, use some present or future currency to make an appointment for your posterior with one of my sky chairs.
00:43Then live in fear of missing that appointment.
00:46Even though when you show up for that appointment very early, it'll be the most degrading experience of your entire year.
00:53Upon arrival at the Armtube Barn on the outskirts of your city, you'll let several strangers inspect your junk and your genitals.
01:02Unless you paid the government a fee so you could use the short line and have freedom.
01:09Just remember, it'll all be worth it once you board my steelbird statue.
01:15Unless you didn't spring for one of its four to six nice seats.
01:18The rest of you get a musty little fart thrown and you'll like it, even if it's the one between two other ones, which we know no one likes.
01:26Anyway, sit back, relax, until a stranger sits too far back into you and enjoy our snack morsels.
01:39Soon you'll be at your destination waiting for every person seated ahead of you to lug their 49 and a half pound possession sack out of our ceiling trunks.
01:49Also, if you make us responsible for your possession sacks, we'll bring them straight to your destination's big metal snake thingy.
01:58Or another place's snake thingy sometimes.
02:01But if you want to be at a place in less than a day, you need me.
02:05Because I've got an aluminum winged bus to take you there.
02:08Also to Atlanta first, because I opted to organize my airline around Atlanta.
02:14Tastes like savings, which you've proven is the only thing you care about.
02:24So file onto my sky coffin if the price suits you, and get ready to forget you touched God's face today because a stranger's offspring cried all six hours.
