If The Wedding Industry Was Honest

Cracked

This is why marriage is a scam. #shorts #funny #wedding #marriage #youtubeshorts   Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-0dXntqR76zT7b3-iB7Q1g/join

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00:00What better way to celebrate than by spending several paychecks on a party for so many friends,

00:06family members, and people you don't know but who your parents insisted you invite that you

00:12never speak with any of them for longer than 15 seconds. Society has agreed that it would be

00:17awkward if those in love didn't host a cripplingly expensive event at which your friends and family

00:23get to watch you kiss and have a chance to object if they want, preferably after the meal.

00:28In exchange, newlyweds receive money and or presents from a pre-approved list of things

00:35you'll need to own to begin your life as dual consumers. It's your little way of saying,

00:42buy those bowls we want, friend from college. In reality, your marriage is an open-air market

00:48facilitating the barter of appliances for booze and a meal. But make no mistake,

00:53no one's making money here, except of course those of us in the legal binding of people with

01:00vaguely religious undertones industry. Example, you're going to want music at your reception or

01:06everyone will be mad. And even though an iPod plugged into a speaker would be fine,

01:12we've convinced you that you need to spend over a thousand dollars for a stranger to plug in his

01:18iPod instead. This is human DJ Chaz. He doesn't have a degree in anything and he'll play that song

01:24that orders the listeners to get louder, then softer, then louder again, and so on and so forth

01:29in that fashion. If you fail to retain his services, yours will be a cursed union. These

01:35are pleasant smelling remains of murdered plant life. They cost $2,000 and are garbage two hours

01:42after you say I do. I'd also like to remind everyone that common wisdom states an engagement

01:49ring should cost roughly two months salary. And let's not forget about your maid of honor and

02:03best man. We don't profit much on that one, outside of charging them an outrageous amount

02:08to rent an outfit worn by dozens of people before. Really, we just thought forcing you into

02:13picking your favorite friend would be a funny way to add stress to your wedding day. You literally

02:19have to decide which of your friends is best, then make them write a speech. Even though it's only my

02:25fourth time talking in front of a group, I'm going to tell a wildly inappropriate story about the

02:29group. It's intensely private, but society has obligated me to reveal it on what is arguably

02:35the most important day of his life, in front of people who really aren't going to find it charming.

02:42But don't worry, everyone. I'm drunk! Woo!

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