- 5/13/2024
Dana B | Dana Beers Vlog
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SportsTranscript
00:00 (dramatic music)
00:02 - It's literally perfectly flat.
00:05 - I didn't know you were a flat earther though.
00:06 - There's a dome over us, it's called the firmament,
00:10 but earth is not like a circle.
00:12 - I think we're in the Simpsons movie.
00:13 - On our flight here, the flight map that we have
00:16 is a flat earth map.
00:18 Like that's how you get from point A to point B
00:21 when you're in a plane.
00:22 - NASA's the devil, space, not real.
00:24 - It's all to just take us away from God.
00:26 That's what this is.
00:27 - You think we're in an orb, a dome?
00:30 - It's flat and then there's like a dome above it.
00:32 It's all to get us away from the creator.
00:34 - You kinda convinced me a little.
00:35 - This guy back in Florida,
00:36 and he gets the Florida brain.
00:37 - What came first, the chicken or the egg?
00:39 - You think we were just in a random black space
00:42 and just happened to have the most advanced
00:44 form of society ever?
00:47 - Exactly.
00:47 - Anyways, we're in Pensacola.
00:51 (laughing)
00:52 - For a momma.
00:53 - Welcome to the vlog.
00:55 We got sleepyheads to my right.
00:56 - Why'd we go this way instead of that way?
00:58 - 'Cause sleepyhead told me to go left.
01:00 - Why do you listen to sleepyhead?
01:01 He hasn't done anything this whole trip
01:03 but sit on the couch.
01:04 - And what if you've done?
01:06 - I touched the hot tub water and I've had six beers.
01:10 - You can't argue against that.
01:12 - How many times I have to explain to you
01:13 that my team just had the best draft
01:15 in the history of draft basketball?
01:16 - Oh, here we go.
01:17 - I was out all night celebrating
01:18 because Caleb Willum's the best quarterback
01:20 this fucking league has ever seen.
01:22 So fucking forgive me if I'm tight.
01:25 - So me, Eddie, and Nicky Smokes get to Pensacola, Florida.
01:29 And as you can tell, we're having some very in-depth,
01:31 important conversations.
01:33 I said, "Nicky, you're a Floridian.
01:36 "Everyone tells me about these Publix subs, these Pub subs.
01:39 "I gotta try one out.
01:40 "Show me the way.
01:41 "Please, show me the way."
01:43 - It's a grocery store but it's like Florida's Messiah.
01:45 - Is there any part of you that thinks
01:46 Nicky Smokes might be like a fraudulent Publix guy?
01:49 - He pepped up about it pretty quickly.
01:50 - Did he?
01:51 - Did you say lab rat?
01:52 - Let's, you know, there's one way to find out.
01:53 - I might have asked if you are a fraudulent Publix guy.
01:57 - I'm a very lab rat.
01:58 (laughing)
02:00 - You're getting a Publix chicken tender sub.
02:02 - I want you to order Publix.
02:03 - Can I do a chicken tender sub, please?
02:04 - I'll do it on the multigrain bread.
02:06 - You got me a multigrain?
02:07 - What, are you a regular Cheerio guy too?
02:10 - I don't eat Cheerio.
02:11 - You got me a multigrain.
02:11 - I asked the best bread at Publix.
02:12 Are you gonna let me order it?
02:13 - No, no, no, my bad.
02:14 I'm gonna walk away.
02:15 - These people, man, like, it's like, let me cook.
02:17 Like, don't give the chef tips while he's in the kitchen.
02:20 - You a Corn Flakes guy?
02:21 - I'll just get a chicken tender and cheese sub.
02:23 Can you let me cook?
02:24 - We'll do provolone, please.
02:26 And can I get it toasted as well?
02:27 - How many people are getting a multigrain?
02:28 - That's a top bread, number one bread?
02:30 - Everybody's going for it.
02:31 - Oh, really?
02:32 - Everybody's going for the multigrain, all right.
02:34 - Hey.
02:35 - All right.
02:35 - Do you always shred it that well?
02:38 - Every time.
02:40 Shred it like that, cheese on, it goes in the oven.
02:42 - No, you have to get your first bite
02:44 right out of the oven,
02:45 and then you can eat the rest after.
02:47 - It's not a negotiation.
02:48 - I'll be honest, I'm really impressed with that melt job.
02:50 - A bad melt job should be instant disqualification
02:53 from your sandwich.
02:54 - Thank you so much, Polette.
02:56 Have a great weekend.
02:57 - Dana.
02:58 - I have a confession to make.
03:00 You were the first cherry I am ever going to pop
03:03 on a pub sub.
03:04 - You probably could have watched "The Godfather"
03:06 for how long it took that thing to get ready.
03:07 She paid attention to so much detail, you can't even care.
03:10 Like this sandwich is definitely made with love.
03:12 - I just can't believe multigrain is the play, but.
03:15 - Yes.
03:16 - Yes, dude.
03:17 (dramatic music)
03:20 - Don't bullshit me either, bro.
03:29 - It's good.
03:36 (laughing)
03:38 - It's really good.
03:39 (clapping)
03:40 - I knew it, bro, I knew it.
03:42 It never fails.
03:43 It never fucking fails.
03:44 - And honestly, the multigrain crunch is at it.
03:47 - It's amazing, right?
03:48 I told you.
03:49 - I could watch him eat this all day.
03:50 (soft music)
03:53 - I'll go in tomorrow.
04:06 - No, get a bite of it right now.
04:08 - Let me customize one.
04:09 I'm not eating this with banana heads on there and shit.
04:11 - We just ate, by the way.
04:13 And he's almost done with that whole half.
04:15 - It's one of the best subs I've ever had.
04:16 - Yep.
04:17 - Yeah, she made that with love too.
04:19 - Oh yeah.
04:20 - Colton, I'll be honest with you.
04:25 I don't know how we lucked out and got this place.
04:26 The first thing you gotta do is crack a little
04:28 P-Dog tire on it.
04:29 Come on, Ed.
04:30 - Cheers.
04:30 - For when Nicky smokes P's and Pants tonight.
04:33 That's what we got.
04:34 This is the master bathroom.
04:35 - For old beers.
04:36 - When I'm nice and hungover tomorrow morning,
04:38 I'm gonna be sitting in that tub.
04:39 Look at this beautiful, beautiful room we got.
04:42 Are you kidding me?
04:44 With all this space?
04:46 This is where we're gonna be laying out all day tomorrow.
04:49 Right here and on this beach.
04:52 Drinking pirate water, having a good time.
04:54 Cheers, brother.
04:57 - Cheers, buddy.
04:58 - Thanks for coming along.
04:58 - Thanks for having me.
04:59 I'm having a great time.
05:00 - You having fun?
05:01 - Mm-hmm.
05:03 - Cheers, baby.
05:04 So honestly, the first night,
05:05 the boys just sat in the hot tub,
05:07 smoked cigars and drank pirate waters
05:09 like any bachelor party I would go on.
05:11 And Eddie was not feeling too hot.
05:14 - Hey, could you have a roll of Tums
05:15 and some Dude Wipes, please?
05:17 (laughing)
05:18 - No.
05:19 Dude, are you down that bad?
05:21 - No, I'm good.
05:21 I just, you know, that's part of the recovery process.
05:25 - Recovery?
05:26 We sat in a fucking hot tub.
05:28 - We're in a hot tub drinking pirate waters,
05:30 smoking cigars, in bed by 11.
05:32 They're like, "Come on, bro, you gotta dig deep."
05:34 - All right, we'll grab you some Tums.
05:36 You gonna be ready for Waffle House?
05:38 - That's a dumb question.
05:39 - All right, Eddie, peace.
05:40 - Tum request at 10 a.m. is fucking wild.
05:43 - You'll learn, Nicky.
05:44 - Yeah, they just ease the heartburn a little bit.
05:46 - Everyone gets it.
05:47 - Eventually, yeah.
05:48 - I feel like I'm like LeBron in his prime right now.
05:50 - Yeah, you are.
05:51 - And you're like LeBron on the Lakers.
05:53 - Still putting up triple doubles.
05:55 But I need a lot of icing of the knees the next day.
05:59 I'm here at Circle K, all right?
06:00 This is where I go to get my pirate water.
06:02 Today, we're going to the Mullet Toss.
06:03 I'm getting a ton of pirate water.
06:05 We're gonna be drinking it all day.
06:06 Drinkpiratewater.com.
06:07 Five flavors now.
06:08 We got the Wicked Tea.
06:09 I'm gonna go inside and get some.
06:10 Let's go.
06:12 The bag has been secured, folks.
06:14 Circle K hooked it up.
06:17 We got fucking pirate water for days, man.
06:19 Let's go have a freaking day.
06:22 Let's have a day, come on.
06:24 - I feel good.
06:24 I feel like all these guys shit on me the whole time,
06:28 and I stayed up later than both of them.
06:29 - Damn.
06:30 - One of the most important, crucial parts
06:32 of my bachelor party in real life
06:34 is going to be a waffle.
06:36 So I'll stop too.
06:37 What do you think?
06:38 - I think it's good.
06:39 I think it could be better.
06:40 - I'm gonna knock my socks off, to be honest.
06:42 - So, services, cop out.
06:44 Sweet lady too.
06:45 Saw Nicky smoke through the beer.
06:47 She's like, "Hey, can you drink that before my manager sees?"
06:49 Cool, cool, cool.
06:51 Bacon's a little burnt.
06:52 Bacon's a little burnt.
06:53 People like burnt bacon with a smog.
06:55 - I'm in heaven cold.
06:56 I live for days like this.
06:57 Waffle house, the boozing.
06:59 - Yep.
07:00 - Today we're gonna get in there.
07:02 We're gonna get in their fucking asses.
07:03 - Yes.
07:04 - We're gonna fucking drink our dicks off
07:06 until we have no balls or dick.
07:08 - Yes.
07:08 - We're gonna have a great fucking time.
07:10 We're not going to sleep at 5 p.m. like Eddie wants to.
07:13 - On one, on one?
07:14 - On one.
07:15 Three, two, one.
07:16 - Great.
07:17 - Kendall.
07:17 - Finally, it's time for the main event.
07:19 Everyone's saying, "Dude, you gotta go to the floor
07:21 of Bama Mullet Toss."
07:22 It's the biggest party on the beach.
07:24 The boys have to go and check it out.
07:26 - I honestly thought it was like people just having mullets.
07:29 - But I thought too, apparently a mullet is a fish
07:31 and that's what they throw.
07:32 Whoever throws it the furthest,
07:33 you win a prize or something.
07:34 - It's a little shitty out, but fuck it.
07:36 We're gonna have a great time.
07:37 - Good vibes.
07:38 - Let's go find the king of the beach.
07:39 Let's do it.
07:40 - Let's go.
07:41 - Throw the mullet, eat the muff, eat the fish.
07:43 That's it.
07:44 - Floor of Bama Mullet Toss.
07:45 What's it all about?
07:45 - It's about just everybody throwing fish
07:48 and having a good time and drinking beer.
07:50 - You're basically throwing a fish, like really far.
07:55 - The greatest Southern beach bash in the world.
07:57 It's not just young, old.
07:58 We got locals, we got old, we got young.
08:00 - It's not just young and old, it's old and young.
08:02 First of all, it's fucking awesome.
08:03 - It's fucking awesome, it's great.
08:05 - A lot of fucking crazy people.
08:07 - Are you a crazy and good person?
08:08 - Fuck yes, I am.
08:09 - You love saying fuck.
08:10 - Why fucking not?
08:11 - What's up, brother?
08:12 - Hell yeah, praise Dale, raise hell.
08:14 - You get tired, you gotta oil these things up.
08:16 - It ain't too bad, it ain't too bad at all.
08:17 - 10% ABV, you can drink as much as you want.
08:19 - 10 horsepower.
08:20 - 10 horsepower, I love that.
08:22 (crowd cheering)
08:23 - We did it.
08:24 - That's how I drink all your drink.
08:25 - Really good, oh my God.
08:26 - All right, so we're throwing mullets out here.
08:28 We're throwing them across the state line.
08:30 - Where are you from?
08:31 - I'm from Massachusetts.
08:32 - Oh, Massachusetts, huge shit.
08:33 - I got big tits.
08:34 - Yeah, damn right.
08:35 - We took a party bus here, so we're gonna continue
08:38 to party until we have to get on our party bus
08:42 to party again, and then honestly, just party, I think.
08:46 - I'm cracking them holes like eggshell.
08:48 (clapping)
08:51 - Keep on clapping.
08:52 - You ever seen just dick inside, pissing like.
08:55 (clapping)
08:57 - You feel that?
08:58 - You feel like when that ass just clap,
08:59 when it's a wave, when it's a wave and shit.
09:01 - Hey, y'all gonna get an interview?
09:03 - I'm here with the hand sanitizer lady,
09:04 what's your name?
09:05 - Carrie.
09:06 - Carrie, Carrie Hand Sanitizer.
09:08 How many people are not washing their hands after this?
09:12 - Why do the A&M people do all that weird shit?
09:15 We do all that weird shit 'cause we're just cooler
09:16 than everyone else, you know?
09:18 - Farmers fight a whoop.
09:20 - That's cool, that's real cool.
09:22 - 22 years old, and I'll pour every beer
09:24 that I have in my hands on me right now.
09:26 - How 'bout it, how 'bout it?
09:32 - LSU Tigers, baby, we're coming back.
09:34 We're fitting to make it natty all fucking day.
09:37 Go fucking Tigers, baby, let's go!
09:40 Woo!
09:42 Let's go, baby!
09:45 Fuck it, let's go!
09:47 (squeaking)
09:49 Ah, look, give me a, give me a nub of this,
09:54 uh, get that muscle, get that muscle, ah!
09:58 (squeaking)
10:02 - Throwing buckets, throwing buckets, brother.
10:04 - I knew he would just keep going
10:06 as long as I put the mic in his face.
10:08 He didn't stop for three minutes.
10:09 This place is heating up.
10:10 - I'm here with my guy, Bill.
10:11 I said, "Bill, you mind if we do an interview?"
10:12 He goes, "Yeah, let's do it, but let's do it innocent."
10:14 Sir, I don't think anything could be innocent
10:16 with that shirt on.
10:17 - Oh, I forget I had one.
10:18 - Pensacola slash wherever we are,
10:20 a good spot for a bachelor party.
10:21 - No, it is not.
10:22 - Why?
10:23 - This place fucking blows.
10:24 - I don't know what it is, but something about Alabama
10:26 and Floribama, you put us on the borderline.
10:29 - Pensacola's better.
10:29 - It's the only state that breaks the law
10:30 in any other state.
10:32 - Would you say this is a good bachelor party spot?
10:34 - Absolutely not.
10:35 - What's gonna be wild tonight?
10:36 What are you doing that's wild?
10:38 - We can't tell.
10:39 - Can't tell me?
10:40 - What if our husbands see it?
10:41 - Ooh.
10:43 - We're just crazy gals.
10:43 - You guys didn't bring the husbands?
10:44 - No.
10:45 - You guys getting naughty tonight?
10:46 - Absolutely.
10:48 - Never know.
10:49 - Never know, the gals are getting--
10:50 - What happens in Alabama stays in Alabama.
10:52 - That's right.
10:53 - Or Florida.
10:54 - I love it, the gals getting naughty, getting nasty.
10:57 - 'Cause you're never too old.
10:58 - You're never, I agree.
10:59 - Hey look man, there's a whole lot of bullet-toll shit
11:02 and a whole lot of other shit.
11:03 The other shit is white folks, crabs, and grabs.
11:07 (gagging)
11:09 - Nothing better.
11:24 There's nothing better, man.
11:26 - Dave Portnoy.
11:27 - Why?
11:28 - He's bad against the tide.
11:29 - If he was here, would you say that to his face?
11:31 - Hell yeah.
11:31 - Oh you would?
11:32 - Bow down and say, "Oh I love you Dave."
11:33 Kind of get a picture?
11:34 - Maybe.
11:35 - Hey, you know what I love more than dirt?
11:38 Girls that love dad bods.
11:40 - Why do you love dirt?
11:41 - Because we all grow up in it and we're going back,
11:45 we're going back to death in it.
11:46 Hey, I love y'all.
11:48 - Love you too.
11:49 - I love everybody.
11:49 - I love dogs.
11:50 Yeah, I played football at Ole Miss in 1992.
11:56 - Hey, I used to get run a four or five forty
11:59 and now it's like you do it with a sundial.
12:02 - I like to hunt deer, drink beer.
12:05 Trying to be BG here.
12:07 - Hey, be as R as you want.
12:08 Be X if you want to, brother.
12:10 - Well, I like to just eat a nice tight snatch
12:12 every once in a while.
12:13 - And drink beer out of my trusty beer stick.
12:15 - Well, you gotta come in underneath
12:16 with the fingers a little bit
12:18 and kind of massage the top with your tongue.
12:20 - King of the fucking beach.
12:21 - King of the beach.
12:23 - This is one year of not cutting that back
12:26 in preparation for this very moment.
12:27 My wife was pregnant right last year.
12:29 She said, "If I can grow a baby, you can grow a mullet."
12:32 And I said, "All right, that's a deal."
12:34 The mullet toss is my Super Bowl.
12:35 There is nothing better.
12:37 It's better than Christmas, Easter, whatever else.
12:39 Pick a holiday.
12:40 It doesn't get any better than the mullet toss.
12:42 - All right, so we stopped at Circle K
12:43 to get some Pyrewater,
12:45 but we needed some more because we're going all day.
12:48 So we're going to the number one retailer of Pyrewater.
12:51 Colton, it's God's country, baby.
12:56 Walmart in Foley, Alabama.
12:57 Look at it, it's beautiful.
13:00 And then we went to the bar,
13:03 which is located on the Florida-Bama line.
13:05 And this place was heaven on earth.
13:09 We're here at Flora-Bama.
13:10 The bar, I think, is what it's called.
13:13 - Yeah, Flora-Bama, beautiful bar.
13:15 These beach bars are amazing.
13:16 - This is the biggest, the greatest, the coolest bar ever.
13:21 This is significantly, positively impacting
13:25 this destination's score.
13:27 - There's a lot of hungry booties here.
13:29 They're eating them shorts up.
13:30 - Roll tide.
13:31 - Tidy, tidy.
13:32 - Wario!
13:33 - You can't shake a dead cat
13:35 and not hit a piece of pussy in this place.
13:36 You know what I'm saying?
13:38 Let's go, Brandon.
13:39 - Fuck yeah.
13:40 - What would you say your most knowledgeable sport is?
13:42 - Bocce.
13:43 - Really?
13:44 - What do you think about the rule?
13:45 If it's kissing a Paulino, is it two points or one point?
13:48 - I have no idea, man.
13:49 - What the fuck?
13:50 - Hey, talk to me.
13:51 (laughing)
13:52 Talk to me.
13:53 (screaming)
13:54 (laughing)
13:54 What the fuck's going on?
13:55 - I don't know.
13:56 - Fuck her right in the pussy.
13:58 - Hey, what's going on, bro?
13:59 - I don't know.
14:00 - What happened?
14:01 - I wanna go home.
14:01 (laughing)
14:02 - You wanna go home?
14:03 - Fuck, man.
14:04 It's gonna be all right.
14:05 - Yeah, I got this, man.
14:06 I got this.
14:07 - Where are you from?
14:08 - I'm from Mobile, bro.
14:09 I'm from Mobile.
14:09 - People in Alabama, roll tide.
14:10 Roll with the tide.
14:12 - You hear me?
14:13 - I don't give a piss about nothing but the tide, baby.
14:16 - Hey.
14:17 - Hey.
14:18 - Hey.
14:18 - Hey.
14:19 - Hey.
14:20 - Hey.
14:21 - Hey.
14:22 - Bro, this is Lenny.
14:23 - Oh.
14:24 - He interviewed all the porn stars and freaks.
14:25 Y'all gotta fuck with my boy.
14:26 This guy is a icon, legend, celebrity.
14:29 He said ice cream.
14:30 (laughing)
14:31 What the fuck is Floribama all about?
14:34 - Getting fucked up and fighting and fucking.
14:36 - Who you fighting?
14:36 - Joe Biden.
14:37 - Joe Biden?
14:38 Why the fuck is the market like it is?
14:40 - You gotta slap it up, slap it down, slap it across.
14:42 (laughing)
14:44 - Overall score, I hate to say it,
14:46 this doesn't beat Austin.
14:49 But it was awesome.
14:50 - Yeah, like it really all depends on what you're going for.
14:51 If you're like a beachy little bachelor party,
14:53 this would be a good spot for you
14:54 to get Floribama bar rocks.
14:56 - I didn't go to Austin, but just look at where we are.
14:59 Beautiful beach, great vibes with the boys,
15:01 had an amazing time.
15:02 I'm giving it a 10.
15:04 I had a great three days.
15:05 - All right, on to Myrtle?
15:07 On to Myrtle Beach, baby, let's go.
15:10 (whooshing)
15:13 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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