40 ல் - தனிமையிலே இனிமை காண முடியுமா ? | Dr. Poorna Chandrika | HTT - video Dailymotion

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உங்கள் அனுபவங்கள் மற்றவர்களுக்கு உதவியாக இருக்கும் | Dr. Poorna Chandrika | HTT

Transcript

00:00 Vanakkam, Hindu Tamil Designers.

00:03 Today we are going to talk about mental health issues that can happen at the age of 40.

00:10 40 is a landmark age.

00:14 But we are not at that age.

00:17 We are still young.

00:19 40 is a landmark age.

00:22 Our family would have settled, our children would have grown up, we would have reached college or we would have reached 10th or +2.

00:31 Our career would have been in a good position.

00:37 We would have changed in many places.

00:39 But we are going to be in this career for a few more days.

00:42 This is the stage.

00:44 At this stage, in the midst of all these problems, what would it be like if we passed 40?

00:51 Look around you.

00:53 Mothers, women, all of them are beyond the age of 10th or +2.

00:58 They are mentally prepared to face the challenges.

01:01 The boys are already in the midst of it.

01:04 They are already in the midst of the need coaching, JIE, NIE, and all the coaching centers.

01:12 Some people, I am saying that they are in their 10th or +2, because in the first period, the marriage happened very soon.

01:19 In the early days, the marriage happened as soon as the parents told them.

01:25 Now, the marriage happens a little later.

01:28 So now, we are all a little late in childbirth.

01:31 After freezing the eggs, the children are born and grown up.

01:36 It is a little delayed in this stage.

01:40 In the midst of this, the current situation, in the midst of this stress, the menstrual cycle of women is delayed.

01:50 Because of this delay, sometimes there is a lot of anger, sometimes there is a lot of tension, sometimes there is a lot of tears.

01:56 Then what should we do? What should we do all these days?

01:59 These are all philosophical questions.

02:01 We have to consider this as a time to ask questions.

02:05 In the coming positions, women over the age of 40, we said that they are all around.

02:11 So they will be in your house too.

02:13 You may be over 40 years old watching this.

02:16 I am saying this, I am over 50 years old.

02:19 So, the women in your house, the women around you,

02:23 I believe that if you see the things that we are going to talk about,

02:29 it will be a rejuvenating program.

02:32 (Music)

02:42 Hello, today we are going to see what is called Empty Nest Syndrome.

02:47 What is this? It is called Empty Nest.

02:50 In Tamil, it can be translated as "Gali Koodu".

02:53 Now, the parents who are over 40, 50 years old, who are in our midst,

03:00 at home, it is very quiet.

03:02 Where are the kids?

03:04 One boy is in America, another girl is in Canada, got married, went to study,

03:10 is in college, staying in a hostel.

03:13 When we say a lot like this, there is a little worry on their faces.

03:17 We are always busy, right?

03:21 We are always behind the kids, in the morning.

03:24 But how are you? You can't even call.

03:27 They will pack your lunch, school, bring you,

03:30 then they would have taken you to coaching class.

03:33 Then, for the future course, for the course the child is studying now,

03:38 they would have done a lot of research work.

03:41 They would have taken you to the airport.

03:44 Or, they would have taken you to a hostel in Chennai or abroad.

03:51 Now, when they sit, they don't know what to do.

03:58 When we were young, we would ask, "Madam, do you have friends?"

04:03 Some people would come, when they have a problem with their children,

04:07 when they have mental problems,

04:10 "Don't you have friends? Who would you tell?"

04:13 "No, madam. My time and hers don't match.

04:16 She has kids, she goes to school, so our time doesn't match.

04:20 We can't see each other."

04:23 But, they are the ones who are going to be with us.

04:26 This has been mentioned in WhatsApp posts many times.

04:29 We are with our family, our friends, whomever we consider.

04:33 We don't have to be with our family.

04:36 The people who are with us and take care of us are our family.

04:39 I have said this in many posts.

04:41 Friends matter. Good friends.

04:44 I have seen such people.

04:46 A son is in America.

04:49 When he comes, he says, "I am leaving, madam."

04:52 I asked, "Where?"

04:54 "My friends will pick me up."

04:56 She said, "I am getting old, but I am at home.

05:01 My mother-in-law is 90 years old.

05:04 I need to ask permission from her."

05:07 This is the old generation.

05:11 When the young generation sees this, they say, "What?"

05:14 "How is that? Where are we going?"

05:17 "I am the one who is calling her."

05:20 But, she still tells them.

05:23 Her mother-in-law says, "Why do you have to do this?"

05:26 "Do you want to go out for coffee?"

05:29 "No, I have to go."

05:31 She was very happy.

05:36 She was very happy to see her friends and talk about old stories.

05:40 How have they managed this?

05:43 But, what should be managed?

05:46 The question is, how to manage loneliness?

05:50 How to manage frustration?

05:52 Confusion. Worries.

05:55 Worries about what our children think of us.

05:58 Worries that our children will call us and say, "I will call you later."

06:03 What should we do to manage this?

06:06 We always tell our daughters to take care of themselves.

06:11 We tell them to take care of their physical and mental health.

06:14 But, if the children are not at home, they say, "I don't like cooking."

06:17 "I eat only Rasam rice."

06:20 So, we have to take care of their physical needs.

06:23 Then, they will have other problems.

06:26 They won't take care of their husband.

06:30 Even if they have problems with their husband, they will keep pushing them away because of their children.

06:34 They will keep saying, "For the sake of my children."

06:37 But, now that the child has grown up and gone out,

06:40 all the problems with the husband will come back.

06:44 I am telling you about your friends to manage all these.

06:51 There will be an interest in you that, "These are not my friends."

06:58 It will definitely be there.

07:01 Whether it is reading the newspaper daily,

07:04 reading the Hindu and Tamil newspaper,

07:07 reading the English newspaper,

07:10 or reading the weekly newspapers, you have to develop that interest.

07:13 If you have that interest, don't give up.

07:16 There is no time to give up.

07:19 If you think that you will be alone,

07:22 you can do it if you can be alone.

07:25 If you are alone, you can give a book.

07:28 You can give a book.

07:31 You can give a book.

07:34 You can give a book.

07:37 You can take classes online.

07:40 You can take classes online.

07:43 You can take classes if you take some help.

07:46 Many people come to me who have studied French.

07:49 They say, "I know Japanese."

07:52 I can teach them.

07:55 Another thing is volunteering.

07:58 Your experience helps.

08:01 Your experience will definitely be helpful to everyone.

08:04 You may not know some things that you know.

08:07 You can say that.

08:10 You don't have to volunteer in something that is not related to you.

08:13 You can volunteer in a temple or church.

08:16 You can volunteer in a hospital.

08:19 You can volunteer in an organization.

08:22 You can do research online.

08:25 If you are engaged in this,

08:28 you can get out of the emptiness syndrome.

08:31 This week, we saw about emptiness syndrome.

08:34 What are we going to see next?

08:37 We are going to see the mental problems of people over 40.

08:40 Thank you.

40 ல் - தனிமையிலே இனிமை காண முடியுமா ? | Dr. Poorna Chandrika | HTT

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