John Rich | Barstool Rundown
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00:00 Alright, it's the rundown
00:06 Wednesday, November 29th. It's
00:08 your pal Clem here and we got a
00:10 couple of Chicago boys kind of
00:12 crazy to say that daddy boy
00:14 Chaps out there in Chi Town and
00:16 he was gracious enough to have
00:18 newcomer to Chicago Eddie on
00:20 the rundown here today. So good
00:22 to see my my guys here two of my
00:24 guys at the company and ready to
00:26 rock on a full rundown here and
00:28 we're going back to the day.
00:30 We're going back to the Windy
00:32 City Chicago Blackhawks. I guess
00:34 cut Corey Perry put him on
00:36 waivers. Whatever rumors were
00:38 swirling on Monday that Corey
00:40 Perry had allegedly slept with
00:42 Conor Bedard's mom. I believe
00:44 was kind of the one that was
00:46 going around. This is how I got
00:48 the rumor. It was Cyber Monday
00:50 again. Go to the barstool store
00:52 pay full price. You know some
00:54 say a full price gift means more
00:56 money on sales. So go to the
00:58 barstool store get your stuff.
01:00 Now I was in the office in the
01:02 New York office and I just walked
01:04 by the tank and the tank had a
01:06 gleam in his eye gleam. Is it a
01:08 gleam Chapsie or gleam? It's a
01:10 gleam. Yeah, a gleam in his eye
01:12 and he was kind of doing the tank
01:14 giggle. I'm like Frank and he
01:16 just had a dad joke lined up. He
01:18 said Corey Perry was brought in
01:20 to be a father figure for Conor
01:22 Bedard and it sounds like he
01:24 was just giggling about it. I
01:26 am not on hockey Twitter so I
01:28 didn't see all these rumors. I
01:30 just got my news from the tank
01:32 but Eddie I mean I'm sure you've
01:34 been talking to our boy chief.
01:36 He seems to have been riding a
01:38 roller coaster with just another
01:40 goddamn Chicago team that's just
01:42 breaking hearts and driving him
01:44 crazy. Yeah, I mean listen it's
01:46 not true. He did not bang
01:48 Bedard's mom. It's one of those
01:50 things. Technically, technically
01:52 now that's true. Technically. Yeah,
01:54 right. That is technically true. Yeah,
01:56 it's one of those
01:58 things now where
02:00 I wonder how
02:02 guys like Richard Richard
02:04 gear the gerbil in the ass and
02:06 Marilyn Manson and that the
02:08 break losing some ribs and suck
02:10 his own dick. Like I really wonder how they
02:12 would deal with these rumors nowadays, you know
02:14 because it seems like you got
02:16 to refute them like they did yesterday
02:18 because they didn't say it in so many
02:20 words, but they said he
02:22 was not involved with any player or players
02:24 family. So they refute the claim as
02:26 well. I don't know
02:28 what the line is to where you entertain
02:30 people's bullshit like this
02:32 but here we are.
02:34 What is that widespread though?
02:36 You gotta I mean you gotta
02:38 if it's your star player, that's like
02:40 essentially the LeBron James of
02:42 hockey could be you
02:44 got to protect him. You got to say look
02:46 none of these players are putting their
02:48 dick into his mama. This is not
02:50 happening, but it's widespread because
02:52 it's salacious and I don't even know do we even
02:54 know if the LeBron Delonte West rumors
02:56 were true before doesn't matter
02:58 doesn't matter if they're true. It's out there
03:00 which is crazy. It's crazy.
03:02 I mean, I got some more defensive here because this
03:04 is my guy and you know
03:06 I probably our guy
03:08 true. Yeah, that's right
03:10 Blackhawks
03:12 like they try to like let it go
03:14 away quietly. And then of course
03:16 this rumor pops up is like oh shit. And then
03:18 they're running around like fucking Michael
03:20 Scott, you know, and
03:22 it's
03:24 a shame. It's a shame.
03:26 It's a tough look. It's a tough
03:28 look for the because now but darn everyone's
03:30 been looking up his mom on the internet for
03:32 like 48 hours straight now
03:34 just to kind of see what's going on here
03:36 and the LeBron thing. I think I
03:38 blocked it a million times like I think the
03:40 West said it wasn't true but Delonte
03:42 West is not exactly
03:44 the most like trustworthy actor in this story
03:46 right? He's had a lot of personal struggles
03:48 the Cavs never came out
03:50 and said it wasn't false. So now it almost
03:52 feels like or says it say it was false
03:54 so it feels like that makes it true by
03:56 not saying it confirms it right? Yeah
03:58 yeah
04:00 chaps you've been
04:02 a victim to a ton of internet rumors some true
04:04 some not true the diarrhea story you had to
04:06 kind of just come out and say it was true.
04:08 And there's been plenty of others that have been proven
04:10 or said to be false, right?
04:12 Yeah, like a couple years ago
04:14 was around this time. It was
04:16 I guess it was more closer to Halloween. People
04:18 said I fucked weird. Do you remember that?
04:20 Yeah, like this guy he
04:22 just fucks weird and they sent me all kinds of
04:24 positional pictures that they thought
04:26 I fucked and I didn't do a single one of those
04:28 Then
04:30 it was was it with Conor Bernard's
04:32 mom true or false? False
04:34 false. See that's how you make
04:36 a statement. You let it be known and
04:38 you did have a good line about a good call about the
04:40 Richard Gere thing like just those things like back
04:42 in the day those spread without the internet
04:44 those spread and I don't think I
04:46 don't think like the National
04:48 Choir was slapping Richard Gere and you
04:50 know hamsters on the front page. So I
04:52 have no clue how they traveled through
04:54 back then through messenger pigeon or
04:56 you know snail mail. Oh yeah
04:58 Manu Raju from CNN
05:00 would be chasing around Richard Gere be like your
05:02 ass sir your ass was he in your ass
05:04 was the dribble in your ass sir
05:06 Uh
05:08 so yeah all is I
05:10 I think you had I guess this
05:12 thing is like when every how what's the level
05:14 of reaches we get to straight up say this does not
05:16 involve any family members without saying
05:18 he didn't bang her mom. Also
05:20 I was told that
05:22 the rumors are that the Rangers are signing
05:24 Corey Perry. So now all moms
05:26 in the tri-state area are now on high alert
05:28 because he's apparently a mill funter
05:30 to quote a great internet celebrity
05:32 in his own right. So everyone
05:34 heads on a swivel here in the tri-state area
05:36 moving on to
05:38 old neck of the woods down in Tejas
05:40 Mark Cuban. So I got
05:42 the alert that Mark Cuban was selling the
05:44 Dallas Mavericks. I
05:46 missed that he had quit Shark Tank as well
05:48 I think it's around the same time
05:50 Uh apparently he's
05:52 selling the majority stake in the
05:54 Mavericks for three and a half billion fucking
05:56 dollars but he still
05:58 owns shares in it and is retaining basketball
06:00 operations and then he's also
06:02 um let's see
06:04 casino tycoons buying it but then he's also
06:06 leaving Shark Tank. A lot of people speculate
06:08 trying to figure out what's going on if he's
06:10 running for president. He says he wants to spend time with his
06:12 family now that his kids are going to college
06:14 which seems like a backwards thing to do
06:16 You spend time with them when they're growing up and then when they're
06:18 in college you have sex with
06:20 Conor Bedard's mom and stuff like that and kind of just live
06:22 your best life. I'm
06:24 sorry Ed I'm really coming down
06:26 on Ed with this one here. But anyway Mark Cuban
06:28 Chaps. Thoughts on Mark Cuban in general
06:30 I just want to hear Chaps' take on Mark Cuban
06:32 I'm a huge Mark Cuban guy. I love him
06:34 I think he's straight down the
06:36 middle like calls it like he sees it
06:38 and I appreciate kind of like Portnoy where
06:40 he just he has an opinion he's going to let you
06:42 know what his opinion is and the chips fall where they
06:44 do. I think this is because
06:46 he has an inkling that there will
06:48 be legalized gambling in Texas in the
06:50 next legislative session. Like those happen
06:52 every two years
06:54 but if he's going into it with the Sands family
06:56 who owns like Sands Casino
06:58 in Las Vegas and all that stuff
07:00 and part of the deal is that they're going to go in
07:02 on a hotel casino together. You're
07:04 not allowed to have casinos right now in
07:06 Texas without them being Native
07:08 American certified. So if he goes in
07:10 and he has this casino they have
07:12 legalized gambling set up. He's
07:14 going to make a windfall
07:16 like money wise and I'm a
07:18 huge Shark Tank guy so we said it a bunch of times
07:20 I think the number is 400 million
07:22 that he paid right after he got his
07:24 first huge investment from
07:26 PayPal. He bought the Mavs
07:28 for 400 million. So he's only
07:30 selling 30% or 35%
07:32 of his share of it
07:34 making 3.5 billion.
07:36 That means he'll get like 7 or
07:38 800% return on investment
07:40 for something that was $400 million.
07:42 So his net worth is going to be matched
07:44 by this sale. He'll
07:46 double his net worth essentially by
07:48 doing this sale, retain basketball
07:50 operations and then no longer be on Shark
07:52 Tank which I've watched every single episode
07:54 there ever has been of Shark Tank
07:56 so I was crushed by that news Clemmy. Crushed.
07:58 Look at Chapsy
08:00 Windhorse here giving us the insides
08:02 of the NBA workings and
08:04 speculating. Just give us the little finger point
08:06 Chaps. Give us the little finger point.
08:08 Not so fast. Why would
08:10 he do that? Why?
08:12 Oh wow.
08:14 So I've just been like
08:16 basically giving the whole Mark Cuban
08:18 story there from Chaps.
08:20 Ed I gotta hear your take on Cuban now.
08:22 I'm excited to hear what you have to say.
08:24 I'm honestly stunned.
08:26 I'm stunned. I know like you said
08:28 he still has a stake
08:30 in the team and he's still going to be running basketball operations
08:32 but the Mavs were his identity.
08:34 So I don't know how much things are going to change
08:36 but it's still stunning
08:38 that he would give up any point
08:40 of ownership
08:42 at all to be honest. I think
08:44 that's way more exciting than Shark Tank. Shark Tank's
08:46 like you know. I agree with him
08:48 like how many more. He doesn't want
08:50 to buy any more people's stuff. Fred Lightly adds
08:52 what we're not going to do is shit on Shark Tank.
08:54 That's what we're not going to do.
08:56 I love Shark Tank. I think it's the most
08:58 one of the best
09:00 almost mindless TV
09:02 programs you could watch. Like you just flip it on
09:04 and it's great. It's great all
09:06 the time. But like
09:08 at some point he's
09:10 just tired of buying people's fucking
09:12 log removers. You know like
09:14 you don't need it anymore. Like what does he need this
09:16 for? So I'm interested
09:18 what his next move is. I know he's doing that prescription
09:20 drug thing where he's
09:22 making it cheaper and he's looking out for people
09:24 who need medications.
09:26 I don't know. Interesting cat. It just
09:28 seems like he got bored and he's like
09:30 I need to do something different. Reinvent
09:32 myself. So there you have it.
09:34 I would be super interested to see the back
09:36 scenes of like what actually he's going
09:38 to be in control of and what the Sands family
09:40 is going to be in control of. Because if you don't
09:42 have control of basketball operation
09:44 as the owner of a basketball team
09:46 what do you really have ownership of?
09:48 Like the building? Like you get
09:50 the most money coming in from like the TV
09:52 deals? Like what is there if you don't? That's
09:54 the reason why you buy a pro
09:56 team so you can control it. I'd be doing exactly
09:58 what Tepper in North Carolina is.
10:00 If I bought a team I'd fuck it up no doubt
10:02 about it. Without question.
10:04 I saw
10:06 he's had I think six coaches in like
10:08 five years with the Panthers. But then
10:10 I also heard he fired his
10:12 MLS coach. Then he fired the other one
10:14 after he made it to the championship game. So I didn't
10:16 know he's just an awful owner throughout all sports
10:18 this Tepper guy. The wild card.
10:20 Meanwhile Cuban he gets to eat off
10:22 that again against LeBron
10:24 in the Heat that one title with Dirk
10:26 you know they were known as the Chokers when they
10:28 lost to the Heat and then they come back and kind of became
10:30 like icons because the entire country
10:32 was rooting basically against the Heat in that championship.
10:34 Yeah what
10:36 do you do? I do feel like there's a chance
10:38 like you let someone in the door
10:40 and get your team. Like he could end up
10:42 losing that basketball operations. But he probably has
10:44 lawyers that have it so ironclad right that
10:46 he could never because that's the one thing I don't think
10:48 he would rather die before he loses
10:50 the chance to do his math shit.
10:52 In terms of play. Yeah I mean with your kids going
10:54 in you can be even more all in with your team.
10:56 I agree with you Clem. Your kids going
10:58 to college is a wild time to say you're going to
11:00 spend time with your family.
11:02 They don't want to spend time with you anymore.
11:04 I want to spend more time at home now that they're all
11:06 out of the house. Yeah like they're ready
11:08 to go hang out their friends and be dumb college
11:10 kids. They're not. Yeah.
11:12 He could send his private jet and be there every
11:14 weekend if he wants but they don't want you there.
11:16 That's not how it works.
11:18 Exactly. Also
11:20 I have to just say this with Cuban. Sorry if this
11:22 offends you chaps.
11:24 I know he's a great businessman. I'm seeing the numbers
11:26 here. Bought for 300. Got
11:28 3.5 billion back. All this
11:30 kind of stuff. Shark Tank obviously
11:32 hit show. He could have had
11:34 5% of Big Cat's brain for a million
11:36 dollars and he turned it down and
11:38 at that point Big Cat wasn't just some schlub off
11:40 the street. He had a
11:42 resume to give, some videos. I think
11:44 at that point he already saved Detroit with the ambulance
11:46 and he just turned it down flat out for
11:48 a million dollars which is ashtray money
11:50 for him. That's an L for Team
11:52 Cuban I imagine. But you guys would like to look past
11:54 that? I think he has three big
11:56 misses Clem. I think one you can
11:58 go with Big Cat obviously.
12:00 The second one we're going to go with the ring
12:02 camera. That was presented on Shark
12:04 Tank and he said that he didn't think that it would
12:06 amount to a whole lot that it kind of
12:08 clunky so he was out on that
12:10 one. And then the big one
12:12 and Clem as a Costco guy you should know
12:14 this one. How the fuck do you not invest
12:16 in Scrub Daddy? When you see that
12:18 go down you don't invest in
12:20 Scrub Daddy? That's not a serious
12:22 person. You see Scrub Daddy you invest.
12:24 You know what I'm calling
12:26 it now. He's going to lose that basketball
12:28 operations within five years.
12:30 Mark Cuban's a bum. Yeah he's a paper
12:32 tiger. A paper tiger. He's an absolute
12:34 bum. One of the greatest
12:36 poor guys ever. He's a bum.
12:38 My new neighbor is
12:40 an unbelievable bum guy. He just whispers
12:42 it like we're watching sports.
12:44 Somebody will throw a pick and I'll be like
12:46 bum. Just like real.
12:48 You can barely hear it. Every time
12:50 I want to stand up and applaud. The perfect
12:52 bum delivery. Is that a Chicago
12:54 thing Ed? Because I know you guys have some
12:56 listeners or followers
12:58 here at Barstool who have the Chicago Bums
13:00 podcast. Is that a big, I feel like that's a big
13:02 Chicago word bum. Yeah
13:04 definitely. We say bum for sure.
13:06 It was always a bum. Go
13:08 pay the bums for beer. Like you know get the
13:10 beer. So it was like yeah that's a thing.
13:12 I think New York we used to be a bum.
13:14 That was actually the Brooklyn Dodgers nicknames were the
13:16 Bums. I feel like we've just devolved
13:18 into like, we just call them homeless or
13:20 crack addicts or things that they may not even be.
13:22 Speaking of bums, Deadspin
13:24 is in trouble right now.
13:26 Apparently there was a kid that
13:28 had his face painted.
13:30 Half of it was black. They went on a whole
13:32 Deadspin hit piece about the kid having
13:34 black face, had a Native American headdress
13:36 on during the Chiefs game. Apparently
13:38 the other side of his face was red, which
13:40 is then I guess
13:42 obviously could be a Native American thing.
13:44 The kid is Native American
13:46 however. We're dealing with a lot of black face
13:48 stuff, red face stuff, colored face stuff.
13:50 I'm personally not going to make a statement on that
13:52 stuff. If you guys want, you're more than welcome and
13:54 let the editors do what they may here.
13:56 But Jerry I saw wrote
13:58 about it saying the dead in Deadspin's almost here.
14:00 When can we just
14:02 blow them over and just topple Deadspin for good
14:04 and we never have to read about them ever again?
14:06 That's basically my question.
14:08 I think that kind of has already happened.
14:10 Unless they do something incredibly
14:12 dumb like this, nope. You don't ever
14:14 hear from Deadspin
14:16 or what they're writing about. I don't even know
14:18 a single person on their
14:20 staff at this point. There used to be
14:22 a time where you could identify some of
14:24 their writers. I don't know who any of their writers
14:26 are now.
14:28 That's a fair point. Ed, what do you think about this whole
14:30 kerfuffle? Did you say that it looks
14:32 like the kid was a part of the Chumash
14:34 tribe? He's Native American as well?
14:36 Yeah, I said he's a Native American. His grandfather
14:38 is a part of the leadership, yeah.
14:40 Yeah, I think this kid gets
14:42 a little big league and he gets to take over
14:44 Deadspin for like a week, you know?
14:46 Like, make all the writers
14:48 do whatever he wants. I think
14:50 that's the way it should go. I think this kid should call us shots
14:52 and he should get the keys to Deadspin.
14:54 I mean, it's a car that you'd probably
14:56 want to crash off a cliff,
14:58 but still, he should get the keys for a week
15:00 at least. Yeah, I think he'll have
15:02 a little lawsuit for defamation for sure.
15:04 Yeah, and I do
15:06 think this all leads to the moment that I think
15:08 we've all thought would, and
15:10 some wrestling guys here on the podcast,
15:12 it's gonna, you're gonna go to Deadspin.com
15:14 and it's gonna just redirect you to Barstool
15:16 Sports. It's gonna be like when
15:18 Vince McMahon showed up on Nitro and the entire
15:20 world was like, "What the fuck's going on?"
15:22 And they got raw Nitro all owned by Vinnie
15:24 Mack, and Portnoy's basically the Vinnie Mack
15:26 of the blog game, right? So,
15:28 Deadspin is- And one of the best, and the
15:30 best wrestling organization that there's ever been.
15:32 Oh, I could
15:34 probably see little 10-year-old Chaps
15:36 in his trailer home watching, you know,
15:38 Sting in a, you know,
15:40 arena with a thousand people. Those were the good
15:42 old days, right, Chapsie? Wearing bright
15:44 pink tights with my hair stuck
15:46 up like a flat top and doing the Stinger
15:48 Splash on my My Buddy toy.
15:50 Nobody knew what hit him.
15:52 By the way, Chaps, I'm taking
15:54 some heat because I'm a, you know,
15:56 shaved by choice guy. Eddie found this out when
15:58 I was in San Diego with him. I'm
16:00 getting a lot of heat from the bald guys being like, "Oh,
16:02 you know, for shame, for
16:04 you know, you should
16:06 embrace that hair. I'd give anything for it."
16:08 I say bald is beautiful. I make this choice
16:10 because I think I'm a beautiful bald man, and
16:12 all men are bald. All bald men are beautiful
16:14 as a fellow bald that shaves your head.
16:16 Am I in the wrong here, Chaps, or am I crazy?
16:18 No, my friend. I think that
16:20 them coming at you is absolutely
16:22 bush league. I was disgusted. I had to
16:24 shut my laptop when I saw some of those things
16:26 that were flying around at you. I was
16:28 disgusted by it. I was taken
16:30 aback. And I, and let me
16:32 just say this. I want to be on the record here, and
16:34 I think that this phrase has been thrown around a lot
16:36 in the last three years, but
16:38 it's your body, your choice. And if you want to be
16:40 bald, that's your fucking
16:42 head, Clem. You shave that fucker as
16:44 much as you want to.
16:46 How about the people that straight up thought
16:48 you were a liar, Clem? There's a lot of people that think you're a
16:50 liar, which I was the most
16:52 stunned by. How does that look to you, Ed? Does that look good?
16:54 That looks like a strong hairline. It's over the floor, right?
16:56 Don't get me wrong.
16:58 It would be a little choppy
17:00 up front, but you could definitely grow it. I
17:02 sized up your hairline when I was with you
17:04 in San Diego. It could definitely be done.
17:06 And, Eddie, let me interject here.
17:08 Not enough people say that you have great hair.
17:10 Thank you. I appreciate
17:12 that. I need to tighten it up in some
17:14 spots, but overall, I think it's pretty solid. No, don't do that.
17:16 You don't need to self-deprecate. Your hair is fantastic.
17:18 Just take it as a compliment, and let's move
17:20 on to the next topic. Exactly.
17:22 Eddie shouldn't be wearing hats.
17:24 He was a big hat guy. That hair should be breathing,
17:26 Ed. I'll tell you that much.
17:28 He shaves his own, so who am I to talk?
17:30 Maybe I should get thrown in the
17:32 sin bin. That's what soccer is discussing here.
17:34 They're testing out sin bins, which are
17:36 penalty boxes during games.
17:38 I didn't realize this is going all the way
17:40 up to the Premier League and the leagues that I
17:42 actually know and care about. If you do
17:44 a penalty that's bad enough,
17:46 I guess yellow card, red card, sin bin
17:48 card, you go in there for 10 minutes,
17:50 and you leave your team shorthanded for the duration
17:52 of the penalty. Basically,
17:54 a penalty box thing here.
17:56 Chapsy, you're just
17:58 the sin guy here at Barstool.
18:00 What are your thoughts on sin bins in soccer?
18:02 Does it get rid of the red card,
18:04 or is it like an in-between yellow and red?
18:06 Because if you still
18:08 have the red card, what's the point?
18:10 I think you should get rid of the red card, if that's
18:12 the case.
18:14 Right? If you have
18:16 a yellow card and a red card, red card kicks you
18:18 out. Is it like an orange card?
18:20 Essentially, that they're going to do,
18:22 where it's 10 minutes.
18:24 Either way, I like it. I think having
18:26 more penalty boxes, it
18:28 really makes me more interested
18:30 in the game. But instead of that,
18:32 in baseball, this is a rule
18:34 change I would like to see. If you
18:36 have a divisional opponent,
18:38 you're allowed to have the
18:40 manager can walk out to the middle
18:42 of the field at any point and be like,
18:44 throw his hand up, and that means
18:46 that there's going to be a cage fight.
18:48 They bring out some cages, they put some people
18:50 in, and each team has to pick
18:52 somebody that they want to fight. Instead of
18:54 throwing balls at people's heads and faces
18:56 and shit like that, it's a lot more dangerous.
18:58 Just have them square up right there in center field.
19:00 I like it, Chad.
19:02 I'm sold. And Manfred's
19:04 kind of crazy like that. He's crazy like a fox.
19:06 He might actually take this into consideration.
19:08 By the way, it looks like it's a yellow card.
19:10 It's basically the orange card. It's between
19:12 yellow and red, right?
19:14 But I'm with you
19:16 on that. You have to keep the red card. I think
19:18 the red card is kind of a fun thing in soccer.
19:20 At least for someone who doesn't
19:22 give a fuck. Ed, what are your thoughts on all this?
19:24 I'm not a soccer guy, so I'm not going to pretend like I would
19:26 know the intricacies of how this would work or if it
19:28 would be good or bad for the game. However, I am
19:30 in on gimmicks at this point
19:32 in sports regular season.
19:34 I was listening to Malcolm Gladwell
19:36 on Bill Simmons podcast the other day,
19:38 and he talked about NBA home
19:40 court should be different. Could you
19:42 imagine if they just eliminated the corners
19:44 like in a
19:46 place like Miami?
19:48 There was just no corner threes. It was just
19:50 the court just enclosed. Shit like
19:52 that. Could you imagine
19:54 if I had
19:56 another one, but I'm blanking. But
19:58 just random gimmicks would be a blast.
20:00 Just little dumb shit
20:02 that would just make things more exciting.
20:04 I'm all for it. Like that Alabama
20:06 game. Do you remember in Alabama they lost half their
20:08 bench because there was a fight, and then
20:10 a guy got hurt and they were playing five
20:12 on three. That was electric. Everyone
20:14 was tuned in. Everyone was going nuts.
20:16 I get it. People, it'll never happen.
20:18 People will cry
20:20 and moan about how it's a disgrace
20:22 to the significance of the sport,
20:24 but these regular seasons, they
20:26 just got to do something for
20:28 three of the four major sports.
20:30 Make Big Cat the president of FIFA.
20:32 That'll just be like the producer bowl.
20:34 Just 25 point shots,
20:36 all kinds of crazy shit.
20:38 I'm all for quirk. That's
20:40 kind of like baseball. It's quirky, right?
20:42 Wrigley's so much different than Citi Field, which is different
20:44 than Yankee Stadium and all the dimensions and stuff.
20:46 And you build your team around the advantage you have.
20:48 Again, you wouldn't have to worry about corner threes
20:50 as much if you just eliminated them
20:52 from your court. Everyone's
20:54 jerking off about the in-season tournament, how great
20:56 it is, and it's just like their teams are trying.
20:58 And everyone's like, "Oh my God, and the courts look funny."
21:00 So it's like that times
21:02 a million by doing different
21:04 regular season quirks. We did a thing
21:06 in college, we played this
21:08 all-time great Nintendo game. Not a lot
21:10 of people know about it. Joey Langone
21:12 and Brandon Walker, two of the few.
21:14 It's called Dusty Diamond All-Star Softball.
21:16 And I was on, I believe it's called,
21:18 if you hit a home run at the
21:20 schoolyard, that was one of the home fields, if you hit the
21:22 window, it's an out. So it'd be a home run,
21:24 but if it hits a window, it's an out. So maybe
21:26 you get some windows involved, like the
21:28 Echo, they have windows and stuff like that.
21:30 And then when we went to my
21:32 home field, which was the Island,
21:34 I had the TV on mute, so you
21:36 couldn't hear the pop-up going, "Boo!"
21:38 So you really had no idea where
21:40 the fuck the pop-up was going, and it made
21:42 every fucking game that much more electric.
21:44 So yeah, let's get weird, let's throw
21:46 Sin Bins in every sport, only fans
21:48 can sponsor, throw some girls in there,
21:50 you're gonna get ratings. I think everyone wins in that.
21:52 Glennie Balls could be on the sideline reporter
21:54 for this stuff. I think we're cooking
21:56 right now, boys, we're cooking, the brains are moving.
21:58 Oh, man.
22:00 And then finally, we're gonna wrap things up with another
22:02 one of these gimmicks. I love when these stories go viral.
22:04 Super pigs are
22:06 threatening to invade the United States.
22:08 A new species of feral hog
22:10 are living in Canada and
22:12 encroaching on the U.S. border, which I feel like they've
22:14 been doing for a little while now.
22:16 They've appeared in Alberta, Saskatchewan,
22:18 Manitoba.
22:20 Manitoba, hey, this is, I think
22:22 Chicago guys might know these locations, I'm a New York guy,
22:24 I really don't know it, but apparently
22:26 they're coming down from
22:28 the border and about to make life a living
22:30 hell. Chaps, you tooled up, can you
22:32 fucking take care of these things before they
22:34 come and just straight up take over the Chicago office?
22:36 I'd absolutely love to,
22:38 Glenn, and as somebody who's spent
22:40 a summer in Alberta, we're
22:42 talking about the Plain Provinces. These
22:44 are people that are reliant on
22:46 huge fields of mustard,
22:48 huge fields of wheat.
22:50 We got barley and soybeans that are
22:52 running all through there. You don't want
22:54 wild hogs coming. This is people's livelihoods.
22:56 So what I think we need to do?
22:58 More hog
23:00 chopping. We absolutely have to go
23:02 hog chopping. Get the whole crew
23:04 up there, put us on little birds,
23:06 give us some .240 golfs, and just
23:08 let us have some lines of lead that we're
23:10 laying down range. Just take these fuckers out.
23:12 Simple. You down, Eddie?
23:14 You down for us to shoot some super pigs here?
23:16 Yeah, listen, that's part of
23:18 the trade-off. We live in the fucking cold
23:20 tundra, and we don't have to deal with shit like this.
23:22 So, murder hornets,
23:24 wild boar pigs, whatever the fuck they're called,
23:26 I don't want nothing to do with them.
23:28 If it takes me getting in a helicopter to shoot a
23:30 couple, I'm in, because I don't want
23:32 to go in my backyard to start my car one day,
23:34 and I gotta fend one of these off with a rake.
23:36 It's not gonna happen.
23:38 You guys are basically the wall
23:40 from Game of Thrones. You guys have to make
23:42 sure nothing crosses through the icy
23:44 tundra there and then comes south into the heartland,
23:46 'cause then our fucking agriculture
23:48 is all fucked up. Our mustard seeds are gone.
23:50 Our corn, our plants, everything
23:52 else could be gone. So, all right, the boys
23:54 are... and, yeah,
23:56 you know the content's gonna be good. Big Cat'll have to
23:58 do, like you said, the Big Cat parades cooking. He's gonna
24:00 have you guys shooting stuff or
24:02 using, you know, OneWoods
24:04 golf simulator. You go out, and then you go out, and you're
24:06 fucking killing these things with golf balls,
24:08 whatever it may be. So, I guess
24:10 Barstool's on it. I think we did
24:12 a Barstool Outdoors video. I feel like there should be
24:14 one of those, like, a month at this point. There's so many of these
24:16 fucking hogs running around, right? Oh, yeah.
24:18 They're all over the place. They're all
24:20 over the place. It's a real problem.
24:22 And that, Eddie, you mentioned them.
24:24 These super pigs, it reminds me of the
24:26 murder hornets. Remember they were the most scariest
24:28 thing ever? Then I think COVID came, and everyone
24:30 just forgot that there were murder hornets coming, and it was
24:32 all a bunch of bullshit. Well, I think they were frauds.
24:34 I think they found out, like, an easy way to kill them
24:36 all, and they just attacked the nests, and then we took
24:38 care of them. Like, it was just, like,
24:40 we just wiped our hands with them real quick.
24:42 So, hopefully the super pigs, there's a
24:44 similar deal. Yeah, there we go.
24:46 Oh, Joe, just do some raid on the nest.
24:48 That'll get rid of them.
24:50 After show now,
24:52 Surviving Barstool last night, so anyone
24:54 who hasn't watched yet, spoilers alert,
24:56 spoiler alert coming up. Episode 2
24:58 of Season 3. For anyone that doesn't know,
25:00 Monday through Wednesday, they're going to be releasing these, I believe
25:02 the next, you know, this week, and then the
25:04 next two weeks following.
25:06 Nate was eliminated last night,
25:08 and kind of the big moment
25:10 of the show was, Jerry
25:12 was just walking around, saw game
25:14 plans on the producer's
25:16 desk, took them,
25:18 had them for his team,
25:20 they kind of knew the challenge
25:22 going into the challenge, which then
25:24 caused PFT to grease the board
25:26 of the opponent's team, of the opponent team
25:28 board, which made the duct tape hard to stick on.
25:30 This probably makes no sense if you didn't watch the show.
25:32 Trust me, watch it, it's incredible.
25:34 You have some of the craziest fucks here at Barstool,
25:36 and then it led to Kirk stealing
25:38 plans himself, and just them screaming,
25:40 Kirk and Nate yelling at Jeff DeLowe,
25:42 an absolute drama-filled
25:44 episode, and Eddie, fellow challenge
25:46 guy, we did our "No Quitters" RIP in peace
25:48 for a few years.
25:50 It's just, it's
25:52 Barstool at its absolute zenith
25:54 this season on Surviving Barstool.
25:56 Former winner, as well.
25:58 Yeah, I won Season 2.
26:00 I haven't been able to catch it yet because
26:02 the Bears played fucking Monday and they threw my whole
26:04 week off, so I'm behind. Bums.
26:06 But yeah, the worst. Literally.
26:08 But, um,
26:10 it sounds like a good move. It sounds like
26:12 a good move. A greased up duct tape wall
26:14 sounds like a great move.
26:16 Chapsie, do you have any, did
26:18 you get to see it, or do you have any takes on them
26:20 kind of just greasing everything up and stealing
26:22 plans and all that kind of stuff? I love
26:24 everything that Rico's doing in this challenge.
26:26 I just do. I mean, going
26:28 taking the toothbrushes and toothpaste
26:30 is diabolical. You're in this
26:32 kind of conversation where you're in a team environment,
26:34 you're talking very close
26:36 proximity, and if you're a person
26:38 that thrives in society,
26:40 you know that people don't want to be up
26:42 in your shit if your breath is stinking.
26:44 So whenever you're having these conversations
26:46 that you need to be dialed in for,
26:48 and you know that you have breath that smells like
26:50 thunder, you need to back
26:52 it up a little bit. I love that move.
26:54 PFT's fucking brain
26:56 in one of these challenges with the diabolical
26:58 nature of Rico together
27:00 is truly something to behold
27:02 because PFT might be one of the smartest
27:04 people that there is, and figuring
27:06 out to grease that bad boy up?
27:08 Genius. Just genius.
27:10 Absolutely genius. And
27:12 like you said with the toothpaste,
27:14 if it's tie across the
27:16 board and you don't know who to vote out,
27:18 it's like, "Well, that guy has bad breath, that guy doesn't."
27:20 You're going to vote out the guy with bad breath because you're in close
27:22 proximity with him. So again,
27:24 these brains all working. It's amazing
27:26 to see Big Kep put his content team together
27:28 and they're delivering every single week. Jerry's
27:30 going, "The game runs through me! I own
27:32 the game!" Incredible shit.
27:34 And the big controversy
27:36 Ed, is that
27:38 there were plans
27:40 for the games on the producer's desk,
27:42 but they're also supposed to, as you know, go around
27:44 the office looking for the idol.
27:46 If you leave the plans on the desk,
27:48 I think that's kind of fair game. I can't even get
27:50 mad at Jerry for taking them
27:52 and sharing them with his team.
27:54 I know people are very upset about it,
27:56 it does feel very Barstool that we would just
27:58 leave fucking plans on the desk. And it kind of
28:00 makes us different than these other shows that we
28:02 are kind of mimicking or, you know,
28:04 acting like. I think that makes
28:06 it the Barstool difference, for lack of a better term.
28:08 And then Kirk just straight up ripping the plans
28:10 out of the producers, out of
28:12 Rob's hands, was an incredible moment as well.
28:14 And Kirk kept the plans and was like, "If you guys
28:16 vote me off, I'm taking the plans with me."
28:18 Which was an A+ brain move as well.
28:20 So this is the reason
28:22 I tune in to Surviving Barstool instead
28:24 of all the other reality shows, because it's all
28:26 the best stuff from those shows, with the sick
28:28 twisted brains that we have here, and Dave
28:30 Portnoy's fucking fun factory.
28:32 I mean, all the contestants on this put the
28:34 producers' asses in the jackpot
28:36 in a big way. Their
28:38 asses are in the jackpot.
28:40 And we have
28:42 Defensive Lo, Jeff Defensive Lo going
28:44 back and forth with Nate, he's telling Nate, "Get out of
28:46 here, no one wants you here anyway.
28:48 Why don't you quit, Nate?" So
28:50 it's the confrontation you get. Usually
28:52 it's through tweets and stuff. We're getting
28:54 actual stuff on film. This is game
28:56 film, it's beautiful stuff. - You know, we
28:58 always talk about the shows that should be on
29:00 Netflix. This show
29:02 should have been bought by Netflix or something
29:04 like that. Because even
29:06 if you didn't know anything about
29:08 Barstool and you watched it,
29:10 you'd be blown away. You'd be absolutely
29:12 hooked. You put this on TV, people watch it
29:14 in a second. If they don't even know what Barstool
29:16 is. - People have been saying, like, yeah,
29:18 the challenge, but on HBO, so it's
29:20 no holds barred, you can let the curses fly, all that
29:22 kind of stuff. That's exactly what we have
29:24 here. And maybe one day this will turn into the real
29:26 world on HBO where it's like, you don't blur out
29:28 the sex scenes. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen
29:30 in Barstool in the future, but this does feel
29:32 like the beginning of something here. Obviously
29:34 with the big guns now, it's gonna help spread
29:36 the growth of the game. And
29:38 the wife and I are watching it together. It's our nightly
29:40 sit-down-and-watch
29:42 show together. So check it out if you haven't yet. - So many would have been
29:44 upset if we were on HBO with his dick
29:46 hanging out in the wind at the Super Bowl house.
29:48 You'd have been upset.
29:50 - Would have been a problem.
29:52 And as law states here at Barstool, once
29:54 Smitty's dick comes up, we have to end the rundown.
29:56 So that was the rundown. - Yep, sorry about that, guys.
29:58 - We'll see you guys tomorrow.
30:00 (whooshing)