- anteayer
Captured by Max, a wheelchair-bound KAOS agent named Leadside (Ronald Long) claims he will escape, then destroy CONTROL and then kill Max. He does escape, he does seemingly destroy CONTROL, and so the only thing left is to kill Max.
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TVTranscripción
00:00Ah, the Guga. Exquisite.
00:09Do we take this one too, Leadside?
00:10Of course, we're taking the entire Burlington collection.
00:13Check.
00:15Leadside, look at this.
00:19Ah, yes, my dear.
00:21Minton dynasty.
00:22Wasn't it considerate of the museum to store all these priceless items in the basement for us?
00:27Now, handle it carefully.
00:30Where shall I put this?
00:35Ah, put it back where you found it. That is a cuspidore.
00:39That's it, Leadside. We have the entire Burlington collection.
00:42Let's get out of here.
00:44Oh, you two go and finish loading up the truck. I'll be along in a minute.
00:50Ah, splendid.
00:51We're still ahead of schedule.
00:53I shall spend the rest of my life surrounded by a $20 million art collection.
00:57You're going to spend the rest of your life surrounded by a $20 million federal penitentiary, Leadside.
01:05Smart.
01:06What are you doing here?
01:07I received an anonymous phone call that tipped me off that you would be at a place called Yukon Lills with the heads of all the chaos deportants.
01:23It was me made the call to throw you off the track.
01:26But Yukon Lills is on the other side of town. Why did you come here?
01:29Because it was obviously some sort of code.
01:32You see, when I turned the message upside down, Lills became 717S.
01:38So, I went to 717 South Yukon.
01:42But there is no 717 South Yukon.
01:46However, there is a 717 North Yukon.
01:49But I knew you couldn't possibly be meeting with the chaos heads there.
01:54Because that's the YWCA.
01:57At this point, I became terribly confused.
01:59So, I did what I always do, and I become terribly confused.
02:02What's that?
02:03I came to the museum to relax.
02:05That's when I saw your truck pulling around in the back.
02:08Oh, I can't stand any more of this, Smart.
02:10I have 4 times the intelligence that you have.
02:14Yet, time after time now, for the last 10 years,
02:17you've managed to ruin my most brilliant schemes with your cunning stupidity.
02:21Thank you, Ludzine.
02:23You were born under a lucky star, Smart.
02:25But this is the last time that you'll ever interfere with me again.
02:29Meaning what?
02:31Meaning this.
02:32That I'm going to take care of you once and for all, in 3 phases.
02:36Phase 1, I shall escape.
02:38Phase 2, I shall destroy control.
02:41And Phase 3, I shall kill you.
02:44And through it all, you shall be powerless to stop me.
02:54I wouldn't feel too confident about that, Ludzine.
02:59First of all, let's take Phase 3.
03:03You'll find that it will not be that easy to kill me.
03:06Then let's take Phase 2.
03:13No one man is strong enough to destroy control.
03:16As for Phase 1,
03:19it's virtually impossible to escape from me.
03:23Especially while I'm covering you with this gun.
03:25One out of three, that's not bad.
03:37One out of three, that's not bad.
03:38One out of three, that's not bad.
03:39One out of three, that's not bad.
03:40One out of three, that's not bad.
03:41One out of three, that's not bad.
03:42One out of three, that's not bad.
03:43One out of three, that's not bad.
03:44One out of three, that's not bad.
03:45One out of three, that's not bad.
03:46One out of three, that's not bad.
03:47One out of three, that's not bad.
03:48One out of three, that's not bad.
03:49One out of three, that's not bad.
03:50One out of three, that's not bad.
03:51One out of three, that's not bad.
03:52One out of three, that's not bad.
03:53One out of three, that's not bad.
03:54One out of three, that's not bad.
04:55To think we almost had Leadside and he slipped through our fingers again.
04:59I don't understand it, Chief. How could he disappear right out from under my eyes?
05:03Leadside may be confined to a wheelchair, but he's extremely fast. He handles that wheelchair like he would a sports car.
05:09Oh. Well, that must account for the racing stripe down the back of the chair.
05:12Well, now that Leadside's completed phase one, do you think there's any possibility that he'll complete phase two? The destruction of control?
05:20Leadside is the most diabolically clever criminal we've ever run across. He's never yet made a threat that he hasn't carried out.
05:26That's right, Chief. Like the time he stole the Star of India.
05:29He stole the Star of India?
05:31Well, he kidnaps Abu.
05:32No. We've got to find out how he plans to destroy control.
05:37Wait a minute, Chief. That's it. I've got it. Why didn't I think of it before?
05:42No. I just realized how he plans to destroy control.
05:48Hello, security. This is Maxwell Smart.
05:51I want a code 4 alert. An all-out code 4.
05:55Now, I want every avail... Huh? Maxwell Smart.
05:59Yes. Now, I want every available... Huh? S-M-A-R-T. Smart.
06:07Yes. Now, I want every available man to be formed into squads of six and to surround Burt's Delicatessen across the street.
06:15Max, what are you doing?
06:16That's how he plans to destroy control, Chief.
06:18You see, look at this. One bottle of cyanide in a pound of Burt's potato salad, and that is the end of control.
06:24Hang up the phone, Max.
06:26What's the matter, Chief?
06:27Leadside would not use Burt's Delicatessen to wipe out control.
06:31Oh. Nate and Owls?
06:33He wouldn't use any Delicatessen. It's not ingenious enough.
06:36Hello, security. Those agents I just asked to surround Burt's Delicatessen.
06:41Tell them to pick up three pastormy sandwiches and hold the potato salad.
06:47Right, 44.
06:49Chief, Unit 44 just arrived at the intersections of Highways 31 and 14.
06:5331 and 14. Now covered by Unit 44.
06:58Good, 51.
06:59Unit 51 has just reached the intersections of Highways 17 and 64.
07:02Highway 17 and 64 now secured by Unit 51.
07:08Max, pinpoint those positions on the map.
07:10Right, Chief. I got them.
07:11Units 14 and 31 are securing Highways 34, 62, and 45.
07:16Oh, Max, that's Unit 44 at Highway 31 and 14.
07:20Unit 51.
07:21Now, wait a minute, Chief. I distinctly understood that it was Units 13, 44, and 51 that were securing Highways 35, 44, and 99.
07:30No, Max, you're getting 99 confused with the Highway numbers.
07:3399 has just reported that Units 44 and 51 have secured Highways 17, 34, 45, and 66.
07:40Chief, I just got a report on 11, 35, and 88.
07:4311, 35, and 88. I don't have those Highways on my map.
07:46They aren't Highways, Chief. They're Control Agents.
07:48Oh, well, what about them?
07:50They were staked out on Highways 39, 71, and 94.
07:53I got it, Chief.
07:55Units 31, 44, and 55 are staked out on Highways 32, 71, and 84.
08:01Good work, Max.
08:02Or is it Control Agents 35, 36, and 41 who are staked out on Highways 38, 72, and 54?
08:10Any way you want it, Max.
08:12I'll check.
08:13Mark, Larrabee, did you send Unit 16 south on Oakwood and Unit 25 north on Oakwood?
08:19Yeah, why?
08:20Oakwood's a one-way street.
08:22Larrabee, contact Unit 22 to go immediately to Oakwood and intercept Unit 16 and 25.
08:27Right, Chief.
08:28I'm having a problem here, Chief. I can't find Highway 99 anywhere.
08:32Forget it, Max. Just pinpoint Oakwood and move Unit 22 into the center.
08:36Chief, I just heard from Unit 22. They can't get through on Oakwood. There's been a terrible automobile accident there.
08:45Is there anybody else you want me to call?
08:47Yes, Larrabee, your wife. Tell her you'll be home early.
08:51Gee, thanks, Chief.
08:55Yes?
08:57Good, 49.
08:59Well, that's it, Chief. Unit 49 just reached Highway 808.
09:02Got it, Chief.
09:03Well, it took over four hours, but we finally got Washington all sealed off.
09:09Units to the north, south, east, and west.
09:12Leadside cannot possibly get out of the city.
09:14What unit is that?
09:15Huh?
09:16Oh, that's not a unit, Chief. That's just a pin.
09:19Well, if it's not a unit, it's confusing, Max. Take it out.
09:22Oh, well, it may be confusing, Chief, but it's very important.
09:25Max, if it's not a unit, it's not important. Now pull it out.
09:28I told you it was important.
09:42I now have the finest art collection in Washington.
09:47And Baltimore. We just passed the state line.
09:49At this very moment, control has a dragnet out for me.
09:54Little do they realize that we're cruising back and forth under their very noses.
09:59This moving van makes a much better headquarters than that we were driving around in before.
10:03Of course, we had to make a change.
10:05You can't hang a collection like this in a garbage truck.
10:09Listen, Leadside, since we've crossed the state line, why don't we continue north into Canada?
10:17I have a reputation to maintain, Norman.
10:20When Leadside makes a threat, he carries it out.
10:26Phase two is about to reach fruition.
10:28Don't walk away when you're about to realize a dream.
10:31The thing to remember, my friends, is if you limit your horizons, the world will pass you by.
10:37Because thinking big made me the master criminal that I am today.
10:45Less than four minutes and thirty seconds to go.
10:49Norman, you sure you carried out my instructions to the letter?
10:52I did everything you said.
10:53It's blended. And phase two is about to be completed.
10:56The destruction of control.
10:58There's just one thing that's disturbing me.
11:01What is that, Leadside?
11:02We are traveling at approximately sixty-five miles an hour, am I correct?
11:07Yes.
11:08And we're all here, you, Norman, Kelly, and me.
11:11So what's disturbing you?
11:13Who's driving the van?
11:22Yes.
11:24Nothing?
11:25Well, keep on it.
11:28Nothing new yet.
11:29On what?
11:30On the dragnet.
11:31Well, that's my favorite show.
11:33I'm not talking about television, Larrabee.
11:35I'm talking about Leadside and phase two and how Leadside plans to destroy control.
11:40It's going to take a superhuman brain to figure this one out, Chief.
11:43Ninety-nine, we have a superhuman brain.
11:45All we have to do is put the question to it.
11:47Why don't wait, Chief?
11:48Ask me any question you want.
11:49Not you, Larrabee.
11:50I'm talking about control superhuman brain, Aardvark.
11:53Of course, Aardvark.
11:55The automated reciprocal data verifier and reaction computer.
11:59That's how we'll find out what phase two is.
12:01That's right, Chief.
12:02I've already pulled the file on Leadside.
12:04Everything we know about him is punched into these cards.
12:07That's right, Chief.
12:09You want me to go, Chief?
12:10That's right, Larrabee.
12:11You want me to go, Chief?
12:41No, Aardvark.
12:42You don't seem to understand me.
12:44Well, Ninety-nine, maybe the information keyboard isn't working properly.
12:47I'll turn on the audio input.
12:49Aardvark.
12:50Aardvark.
12:52Aardvark, what do you know about phase two?
12:55Aardvark.
12:57Aardvark.
12:58Aardvark.
12:59Aardvark.
13:00Must be broken, Ninety-nine.
13:01It just keeps repeating its own name.
13:03We better call Computer Repair, Chief.
13:05The number's in Larrabee's office.
13:06Aardvark.
13:07Aardvark.
13:08Aardvark.
13:09Aardvark.
13:10Aardvark.
13:11Aardvark is not broken.
13:13What we have here is a failure to communicate.
13:16I read there's something wrong with Aardvark.
13:18Chief, the delicatessen was so crowded that I couldn't get off astrami, but I got chopped
13:21liver.
13:22Max, I'm not interested in food right now.
13:23There's something wrong with Aardvark.
13:25Larrabee called Computer Repair.
13:26So soon the repairman was just here a couple of hours ago.
13:29Well, that's strange.
13:30The regular service checks on Fridays.
13:32Well, he wasn't a regular service man, but his credentials were in order.
13:35Chief, you don't suppose...
13:37You're absolutely right, Max.
13:38You see that, Larrabee?
13:39I'm absolutely right.
13:40Right, right, right about what you...
13:42Aardvark is the brains of control.
13:44If anything happened to Aardvark, control would be destroyed.
13:47But that's it.
13:49Aardvark is phase two.
13:50That's what he was trying to tell us.
13:52Now, just a moment, gang.
13:53Let's not panic.
13:55The odds against Aardvark being phase two are a million to one.
13:58Of course, let's not rule out that possibility.
14:09Aardvark, Aardvark, are you all right?
14:12I am afraid it is too late.
14:15I am going fast.
14:17Don't try to talk.
14:18Save your strength.
14:19We'll have a computer repairman up here immediately.
14:23I am afraid it is too late.
14:26Isn't there anything we can do, Chief?
14:28I'm afraid not, 99.
14:30Is there anyone you'd like us to notify?
14:33Yes.
14:36The cigarette machine.
14:38In the hall.
14:41Aardvark, who did this to you?
14:43Aardvark, lead.
14:45Go on, go on.
14:46Lead.
14:48Lead side.
14:55It's gone, Max.
14:56Do you realize what this means?
14:59Lead side's completed phase one and phase two.
15:02What's to keep him from completing phase three?
15:04Just me, 99.
15:05The only way that a lead side can complete phase three is over my dead body.
15:10Max, I'm not going.
15:23I'm not going to leave you here alone in this apartment.
15:25We've been all through this before, 99, and I told you it's too dangerous for you to stay here.
15:30Max is right, 99.
15:31Lead side completed phase one and phase two, and the way things are going is a cinch to complete phase three.
15:36That's right, 99.
15:37He's almost a cinch to complete...
15:38A cinch to complete phase three?
15:42Well, Max, you don't have anything to worry about.
15:43I don't?
15:44Well, then who does?
15:45I do.
15:47If lead side succeeds in getting in here and killing you, do you know how bad I'll look?
15:51Well, at least you'll have some color in your face.
15:55Max, we've taken every precaution.
15:57We've even activated maximum security plan Omega.
16:00Plan Omega?
16:01And you know how long it's been since we've used that plan.
16:05That's right, 99.
16:06My gosh, we haven't used that plan since the day that Omega was murdered.
16:10What does the plan entail, Max?
16:12Oh, yes, the plan.
16:14Well, the whole block is completely sealed off.
16:16Check.
16:17Electronic surveillance on every floor.
16:19Check.
16:19And control agents are staked out in that hotel across the street.
16:23Down the street.
16:24Huh?
16:25Down the street?
16:26Why not across the street?
16:27Because those rooms in that hotel across the street read for $35 a day.
16:30Control can't afford that.
16:31But what if Plan Omega fails and lead side gets through to the apartment?
16:34Well, then he'll be in a lot of trouble, 99, because we've had every single thing in this apartment booby-trapped.
16:39And it's all made operative by this little pen.
16:42The old paper pal detonator pen.
16:45That's right.
16:46You just press the button on the top of that pen, and it activates every device in this room.
16:50Just be careful to be out of the line of fire when you press the button, Max.
16:53Right, Chief.
16:54Well, that's about all.
16:55Good luck, Max.
16:56Come on, 99.
16:57I hope you'll be all right, Max.
16:58Don't worry, 99.
16:59You really have nothing to worry about.
17:01I know that.
17:01Take good care of yourself.
17:02I will.
17:03And don't worry.
17:04I won't.
17:04And don't be nervous.
17:05I will.
17:06Will you two stop it?
17:07What is the matter with you?
17:08I'm not nervous, I'm not frightened, and I'm not worried.
17:10I'm in complete control of all my faculties.
17:13I know exactly what I'm doing and exactly where I am going.
17:17Bye, darling.
17:19So long, fella.
17:29Hello?
17:39Oh, it's you, Larrabee.
17:43No, the chief isn't here.
17:44He left about an hour ago.
17:46No, I don't know when he'll be back.
17:48Huh?
17:49A message?
17:51Hold on a minute.
17:52Hold on a minute.
18:22Max, what is it?
18:30It's for you.
18:31It's all clear.
18:58We can begin phase three.
18:59Good.
19:02We've been in that closet since early this morning.
19:04Yes, but Lenside was right.
19:06We had to get in there first before control sealed off the building.
19:14Who is it?
19:15It's your Avalon, lady.
19:17Oh, sure it is.
19:18That's the worst impressionable woman's voice I've ever heard, Lenside.
19:21Oh, sorry about that, Avalon, lady.
19:26I was expecting a friend.
19:28I'm delivering the cosmetics your wife ordered.
19:31Bring them in, Norman.
19:36That's the second biggest cosmetics case I ever saw.
19:40Listen, I'm very busy today.
19:41Couldn't this wait for another time?
19:43I promised your wife I'd bring them today.
19:45I won't be in the area again for another month.
19:48Well, okay, but let's make it snappy.
19:51You know what to do, Norman.
19:52Well, I'll be.
19:56A wheelchair and a cosmetics case.
19:59Now, that's real...
20:00Stay right where you are, Mr. Smart.
20:03Okay, that does it.
20:05Just for that, I'm canceling my wife's order.
20:07Shut up, Smart.
20:09Five seconds, Kelly.
20:12Three, two, one.
20:14On that side, you told me you couldn't walk.
20:26Oh, I can't walk, but I can run.
20:28But that's impossible.
20:29No, the injury to my spine is a unique one.
20:32As long as I'm moving with any velocity, I'm all right.
20:34But as soon as I stand still or try to walk, I collapse.
20:38Then you're not always confined to a wheelchair.
20:40Most of the day I am.
20:42But at night, I get out to run my dog.
20:47Well, how did you get through all those control agents in the building?
20:50Very simple.
20:51They were looking for a man in a wheelchair.
20:54And now, Smart, phase three.
20:57Not so fast, Leadside.
20:59Do you know what's going to happen when I push this button?
21:02The ink will come out, of course.
21:04Hm.
21:08Exactly.
21:09Hey, look, do you mind if I get that pen over there on the key?
21:16No tricks, Mr. Smart.
21:17We have to get down to the business at hand.
21:20Phase three.
21:21And just how do you propose to phase three me, Leadside?
21:25One shot and all those control agents will come rolling in here like oranges.
21:29Shooting is far too unimaginative for me.
21:33Norman?
21:33Norman?
21:33On guard.
21:42Sounds what a duel, eh?
21:45Well, I don't want to take advantage of your Leadside.
21:49I wouldn't worry about that, Smart.
21:51Norman and I have never lost yet.
21:54Forward!
21:56Back, Norman, back!
21:58Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back!
22:01Forward!
22:01Forward!
22:02Forward!
22:03Forward!
22:05Back!
22:05Back, back, back, back, Norman!
22:07You surprised me, Smart!
22:09You handled a sword well!
22:10Forward!
22:11You're not bad yourself, Leadside.
22:13And you're pretty good too, Norman.
22:16I'm getting tired of this sport, Smart.
22:18I think I'll put an end to it.
22:2499 gave me that button.
22:26Thank you, Leadside.
22:28I needed that.
22:30Back, back, back, back, back, back, back!
22:31Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back!
22:38Norman!
22:40My mother gave me Norman.
22:44Thanks, Smart.
22:45I needed that.
22:49Now, Smart, to complete phase three.
22:54Kelly!
22:54Kelly!
22:57Charge!
22:58Oh, it's even more beautiful than Aardvark 1.
23:14That is a compliment.
23:17Not only is it more beautiful, 99, but it does twice the work.
23:21That's where Leadside made his first big mistake.
23:23Like all our enemies, he underestimated our technological capacity.
23:27And the good old American know-how.
23:29Hello?
23:34Oh, yes, Doctor.
23:37I see.
23:39Well, thank you for calling.
23:40That was the hospital.
23:43They just operated on Leadside.
23:44Is he out of danger?
23:46Yes, he's out of danger, but it's going to be a hard road.
23:49How's that?
23:50He'll never run again.
23:50I see.
23:58No, no.
24:00No, no.
24:01I see.
24:02You know that?
24:04You know that it's going to be a hard road.
24:05It's going to be a hard road.
24:07So far, we're going to be a hard road.
24:09What about Deluxe?
24:11No, no.
24:11Let's get started.
24:12Oh, boy.
24:14I see.
24:15I see.
24:17I see.
24:18I see.
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