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Max has to protect an Arab prince, who must remain fat to retain his power. The title is from the common idiom "survival of the fittest."
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00:30Food. More food. I'm running out of food.
00:32What kind of a hotel is this?
00:35It's at the room service.
00:44Good afternoon. I'm Bill Bamford,
00:46president of the Ramon American Oil Company.
00:48I'd like to see Prince Solly.
00:50Come in, Mr. Bamford.
00:55Good afternoon, Your Majesty. It's a pleasure to meet you.
00:58I'm here to welcome you to the United States.
01:04Now, Your Majesty,
01:06my company feels that if you could get together...
01:08Mr. Bamford, please.
01:09I will discuss anything you wish
01:11as soon as I have finished my lunch.
01:14And that will be...
01:15In about four hours.
01:21Do you want some help?
01:22No. It's a refrigerator, Your Highness.
01:25Oh, put it in the corner, please.
01:28Tell me,
01:35are all your American girls like that?
01:40No, Your Highness.
01:41Some are redheads and brunettes.
01:44Why don't you make yourself at home?
01:47Put your coat in the closet.
01:49Thank you, Your Highness.
01:50Thank you, Your Highness.
01:50This is 86 calling control.
02:11This is 86 calling control.
02:13Come in, control.
02:14Hello, Chief.
02:17Max.
02:17I'm in the Prince's hotel room.
02:19We think there's a plot afoot to kidnap him,
02:21so don't let him out of your sight.
02:22I've checked out every corner of the hotel,
02:25and there are absolutely no suspicious characters anywhere.
02:28Carly, help me with him.
02:46I'll keep my eye on him every single minute of the time, Chief.
02:48I only have one message to report.
02:56Don't worry.
02:57Repeat.
02:58Don't worry.
02:59What's he doing now?
03:00Hang on, Chief.
03:01I'll see.
03:15Chief,
03:16how about that message I just gave you?
03:18Change it
03:19to worry.
03:20Repeat.
03:21Worry.
03:30A last ticket.
03:31Wake up.
03:47A last ticket.
03:51A сил.
03:52A last ticket.
03:56A last ticket.
03:57A last ticket.
03:57A first ticket.
03:58What other ticket.
03:58Thanks, try to think hard.
04:26What happened in that hotel room?
04:28How did Solly disappear?
04:30There must be some clue that you overlooked.
04:32I told you, Chief, nothing unusual happened in the hotel room, except that the prince
04:37never stopped eating from the moment I entered.
04:39Of course he didn't.
04:40He's trying to gain 35 pounds.
04:42Of course.
04:43Why?
04:44Max, look, this is Ramat, the prince's country.
04:48Every year his followers give him his weight in gold.
04:51That's the money that keeps their country solvent.
04:53Ah, so it's the survival of the fattest.
04:58A little play on words.
05:02If the prince doesn't weigh 300 pounds...
05:04No boat.
05:06And a new faction takes over the government.
05:08A faction that has already demonstrated its unfriendliness to the United States.
05:12Well, Chief, then that means that Ramat's oil supply to the United States will be cut
05:16off.
05:17That's the picture.
05:18Well, then if the prince has been kidnapped, why, they'll be trying to reduce him.
05:23That's right.
05:24And we have exactly 48 hours to find him, bring him back, fatten him up for the weigh-in.
05:28Now, Max, try to think hard.
05:31Isn't there some little something that happened in that hotel room that you may have forgotten?
05:39Sorry, Chief.
05:41I'm afraid I'll just have to submit myself to the grill team.
05:47The grill team?
05:48But they're only used to get information out of enemy agents.
05:50We've never used them on our own men.
05:52I know, Chief.
05:53But if they can get information out of the enemy, then maybe they can get something out
05:58of me.
05:59Maybe there's an important clue locked in my unconscious mind.
06:09Agent 86, you must remember something.
06:16Water.
06:17Water.
06:18I've got to have some water.
06:20Here, Max, this will help.
06:21Don't give me any water, Chief.
06:23How do you expect me to break down and talk?
06:25Sorry, Max, I just can't think of you as an enemy agent.
06:30There must be something.
06:32There must be something unusual that I missed.
06:35Please, hit me just once more.
06:37But, Max, I can't.
06:40My hand's beginning to hurt.
06:42Please, once more for control.
06:45Max, think very clearly.
06:47Did anything unusual happen in the hotel room?
06:50I've tried to tell you a hundred times, Chief.
06:52Nothing unusual happened.
06:54The prince was sitting on the sofa, and the harem girl and the bodyguard were serving
06:58the food, and the chambermaid carried in the refrigerator.
07:01The chambermaid carried in the refrigerator?
07:05Hold it, Chief.
07:07I just remembered something unusual.
07:10The chambermaid carried in the refrigerator.
07:14The chambermaid was super strength, of course.
07:17Mary Jack Armstrong.
07:19Right.
07:20Who?
07:21Mary Jack Armstrong, the strongest female counter-spy in the world.
07:25Max, you've got to be especially careful.
07:27She's gorgeous and deadly.
07:30So am I.
07:34Here, slip on this coat, Mr. Swart.
07:38Now look, look, look.
07:40We've sewn a homing device in the shoulder.
07:44I'll turn it on by pressing the button.
07:47It'll let us know where you are at all times.
07:49Oh, you mean I just do this?
07:51Oh, now you've turned it off.
07:53Leave it off, Max, until you find out where the prince is.
07:56Then activate it and we'll move in.
07:58Right, Chief.
07:59And here is a new necktie for you, Mr. Swart.
08:04An avocado tie with a gray suit?
08:10Well, I suppose this will make me number 11.
08:12Number 11?
08:13Yes, Chief.
08:14I'm one of the 10 best dressed spies in the country.
08:17Oh, no, no, no.
08:18This is a very popular shade among scientists.
08:21And it's no ordinary tie.
08:23It's actually a container.
08:25Now, this liquid is a newly developed instant truth serum.
08:30I pour it in like this.
08:34The liquid goes to the tube in back of the tie.
08:37And when you turn the spigot on the clasp, the liquid flows out.
08:46If you can get this serum into something that Mary Jack Armstrong will drink,
08:49you can find out immediately where she's got the prince captive.
08:52But you'll only have about 15 seconds to question her before she'll lose consciousness.
08:57Gotcha, Chief.
08:59Chief, did you make my hotel reservations?
09:01Yes, you'll have the same room the prince occupied.
09:03I think you'll be able to contact them from there.
09:06The hotel is only two blocks from here.
09:08So if anything goes wrong, we'll be there within a minute.
09:11Now, Max, this is a dangerous one.
09:13This woman is ruthless and a potential killer.
09:16You'll be risking your life every moment.
09:20And...
09:22loving it.
09:29It's imperative we continue to reduce the prince's weight for another 48 hours.
09:33By that time, nothing will help.
09:36I'm going downstairs to see what Smart is up to.
09:45Come in.
09:54Where would you like this, sir?
09:56I'm afraid you've made a mistake. I didn't order any champagne.
10:00Well, it's compliments of the hotel. You're our one millionth guest.
10:04Oh, really? I didn't know the hotel was that big.
10:08Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?
10:10Uh, you don't happen to have a corkscrew, do you?
10:15Oh, I'll do it for you, sir.
10:22Is there anything else I could do?
10:25Oh. Well, as long as you're here, why don't you have a drink with me?
10:29I have no one else to drink with.
10:30It would be my pleasure, sir.
10:33There you are. I don't believe I caught your name.
10:37Mary.
10:39Mary. Ah.
10:41Mary's a grand old name.
10:43Well, Mary, here's to your strength.
10:45Uh, your health.
10:46Thank you, Mr.
10:52Oh, I'm sorry.
10:55Bill Bamford, uh, president of the Ramat American Oil Company.
10:59I've seen Mr. Bamford.
11:01He's a tall 60-year-old man with gray hair.
11:03He was a guest in the hotel once.
11:05Oh.
11:07Well, how about Fred Lammister, munitions?
11:09I think I've seen him.
11:11Oh.
11:13Harry Schlerb, toy manufacturer?
11:14Well...
11:15Mervyn Grebs, calling card manufacturer?
11:17I've never met the man.
11:18Ah.
11:20Then meet Mervyn Grebs.
11:26Here, let me fill your glass for you.
11:31Here we are.
11:35Oops.
11:37I'm terribly sorry. Could you get a towel for me, please?
11:39Oh, yes.
11:44Here you are, sir.
11:45Oh.
11:46Thank you very much.
11:47Oh.
11:48There you are.
11:49Uh, won't you sit down, please?
11:51Is there anything wrong?
11:53Uh, well, no.
11:54Uh, well, no.
11:55Uh, the wine seems a little strong.
11:56I think it's trying to escape.
11:57Oh.
11:581955.
11:59That was a turbulent year.
12:00You seem to know a great deal about wine.
12:01Well, as a matter of fact, I sort of pride myself on trying to know a little bit about everything.
12:02Wine.
12:03Women.
12:04Food.
12:06What about art?
12:07What about art?
12:08Art.
12:09Art.
12:10I've often wondered who painted that picture on the wall behind you.
12:11I've never been able to make out the signature.
12:12What picture?
12:13Uh, well, no.
12:14Uh, well, no.
12:15Uh, the wine seems a little strong.
12:16Uh, well, no.
12:17Uh, the wine seems a little strong.
12:18Uh, well, no.
12:19Uh, the wine seems a little strong.
12:20I think it's trying to escape.
12:21Oh.
12:221955.
12:23That was a turbulent year.
12:24I sort of pride myself on trying to know a little bit about everything.
12:27Wine.
12:28Women.
12:29Food.
12:30What about art?
12:32Art.
12:33I've often wondered who painted that picture on the wall behind you.
12:36I've never been able to make out the signature.
12:38What picture?
12:39There.
12:47Well, I'm not quite sure, but I think it probably was the same artist that painted that picture over there in the corner.
12:53A fellow of you to notice.
12:58Then he probably was the same artist who's responsible for that picture over the desk.
13:04What picture?
13:06That one.
13:07Do I have to look?
13:09Yes.
13:16Is it my turn?
13:17Yes.
13:18Okay.
13:23Well, shall we drink up?
13:41Well, Mary Jack Armstrong, it looks like I've had the last switch.
13:44Does it?
13:45Yes.
13:46And in exactly five seconds, when that drug takes effect, you will tell me exactly what I want to know.
13:53You will tell me that my name is Maxwell Smart, Secret Agent 86, and I was sent here by control to rescue the Prince and fatten him up for the weigh-in.
14:01And you'll never get anything out of me.
14:19It's wearing off.
14:20Where am I?
14:21Where am I?
14:22You're in my private massage parlor and reducing salon on the top floor of the hotel.
14:26Well, I'll just take a little rub down and a few laps on the bike, and then I'm afraid I'll have to leave.
14:31Very funny, Mr. Smart.
14:33And don't try to get free.
14:35You'll only hurt yourself if you struggle.
14:37Later on, we'll dispose of you.
14:39Is there anything else you'd like to say?
14:41Yes.
14:42You're all under arrest.
14:45Mr. Smart, I don't think you understand.
14:47You are my prisoner.
14:48And the only reason you're still alive is because, now that we know control is on our trail, you can help us to lead them down a blind alley.
14:55What are you doing to the Prince?
14:58Merely getting him in shape for the weigh-in.
15:00Carla, what is his weight?
15:07He's down to 274 pounds.
15:09Are you all right, Prince Sully?
15:12Yes, but I can feel myself getting thinner.
15:16Well, hang on, Your Majesty, and think back.
15:19Release him.
15:30You may lower your hands, Mr. Smart.
15:33I can't. My shoulders are locked.
15:35Rhonda, fix Mr. Smart's shoulder.
15:37There.
15:39There.
15:41Now, Mr. Smart, you will telephone your chief.
15:44And you will give him some information as to where you are.
15:48Information that will be, of course, totally false.
15:51And what if I refuse?
15:53Then I shall make you do it.
15:56You and who else?
15:57You've got an answer for everything, haven't you?
16:04Take Mr. Smart to the phone.
16:10Now, be very careful, Mr. Smart.
16:13One wrong word, and Rhonda and Carla will see that it's your last.
16:16All right, just what is it you want me to say?
16:20Merely tell your chief that everything is all right.
16:22You've discovered nothing so far, and you'll call him back if you do.
16:25Hello?
16:27Max?
16:29Yes, Chief.
16:31Well, what's going on? Are you all right?
16:33I'm fine, Chief. You know me, never any problems.
16:35You must be in trouble.
16:36We just want you to know that you're doing a wonderful job, Max,
16:39and that you deserve a big pat on the shoulder.
16:41A pat on the shoulder?
16:43That's right, Smart. A pat on the shoulder.
16:45Okay, Chief. And don't worry about a thing.
16:48I don't need any more help on this case than I did on my last case.
16:55You're welcome, Mr. Smart.
16:57You're welcome.
16:59Okay, Chief. And don't worry about a thing.
17:02I don't need any more help on this case than I did on my last case.
17:06Parker, how many men do we have?
17:08Okay, what now?
17:10Nothing.
17:12You're free to watch us reduce the prints, if you like.
17:15Carl and I are going to turn the machine up all the way.
17:18Rhonda will tend to your needs.
17:21Watch him.
17:28I know it's getting awfully chilly in here.
17:31Would you mind if I put on my coat?
17:34Why not?
17:46Ah, that feels much better.
17:49Chief, Smart signal just went on.
17:52Get a reading on his location.
17:54What did you do that for?
17:55Hmm?
17:56What did I do what for?
17:58You slapped your shoulder.
18:00I did?
18:02Yes.
18:03Right here.
18:05Chief, it just went off.
18:06What?
18:07The signal's gone.
18:09You mean I just picked up and slapped my shoulder like this?
18:14There must be some reason why you keep doing this.
18:19To tell you the truth, it's kind of a little nervous habit for me.
18:25Look, it's my nervous habit, not yours.
18:30What do you think is happening?
18:34I don't know.
18:36Could he be playing leap frog?
18:44There we are.
18:47North.
18:49Northwest.
18:50There.
18:51There.
18:53I think this is it.
18:55Listen, Rhonda.
18:57You look like a sensible girl.
18:59I think you and I can make a deal.
19:01What are you trying to say, Mr. Smart?
19:03You let me escape, and I'll see that you get off easy.
19:07How easy?
19:08Well, I can't make any promises, but I can tell you this much.
19:12The law has a very soft spot in its heart for big beautiful spies.
19:16Mary Jack!
19:18Yes?
19:19Smart wants me to help him escape.
19:24Oh, he does.
19:26Well, lock him in the steam room.
19:28A little 150 degree heat ought to soften him up.
19:31Come on.
19:37Get inside!
19:38Come on.
19:42All right, Mary Jack Armstrong.
19:44You and I are going to take a little trip down to control headquarters.
19:48You don't expect me to fall for that old trick, do you?
19:50There's nothing in there but your hand.
19:52All right, get your hands up, and don't make any sudden moves.
19:56Now, Mr. Smart, I'm going to break you in half.
20:03What happened?
20:04The old finger in the gun trick.
20:09That's the second time I've used it this month.
20:12Be clever, don't you think?
20:14All right, Mary Jack, let's go.
20:16Into the steam room.
20:17Come on, move out.
20:35What kind of a gun is that, Mr. Smart?
20:38It's a .22 caliber finger.
20:40Fires two shots.
20:47All right, stay where you are.
20:48Don't anybody move.
20:50Your finger's empty, Mr. Smart.
20:52That's where you're wrong, Mary Jack.
20:54I still have one shot left.
20:56No, you don't.
20:57Yes, I do.
21:01No, I don't.
21:02You have become a nuisance, Mr. Smart.
21:05And you know what I do with nuisances?
21:07You ignore them and hope they'll go away.
21:10Wrong.
21:12You don't ignore them and hope they'll go away.
21:15Wrong.
21:17Wrong again.
21:18I dispose of them once and for all.
21:21That was my next guess.
21:22Carla, Rhonda.
21:24Now, wait a minute, Mary Jack.
21:27Come on, the window.
21:34Drop that agent.
21:37Take those two down to headquarters.
21:38Leave her.
21:41Good work, Max.
21:43Thank you, Chief.
21:44But I wish you'd be a little more careful with your choice of words.
21:48You know, they could have dropped me the other way.
21:50Sorry about that, Max.
21:52Listen, Chief.
21:54I don't know what we're gonna do with Mary Jack.
21:56There's no prison built that can hold her.
21:58She's the strongest, toughest, most vicious opponent I've ever faced in my entire life.
22:04Hello, Mary.
22:07Mary?
22:09Hello, Thaddeus.
22:12Um, I'm the Chief now.
22:14Oh, well, that's wonderful.
22:16I didn't know you'd been promoted.
22:18Well, of course, we couldn't publish it.
22:21I tried to write to you, but the, well, the only address I had was Care of Chaos.
22:26Why, it's been a long time.
22:29Yes, it has.
22:31You've become even more beautiful, if that's possible.
22:34And you look rather distinguished.
22:35Well, it's probably the great hair.
22:41That'll be all, Max.
22:47I like it.
22:51Mary, I don't mean to pry, but how did a nice girl like you ever get into this rotten business?
22:58Well, Thaddeus, it's a living.
23:02They know each other?
23:04Yes, Prince, that's the wonderful thing about the espionage business.
23:08You make friendships that last forever.
23:20Did the Prince get back to his country in time, Chief?
23:23He made it just in time for the weigh-in.
23:24Oh, did he make the 300 pound minimum?
23:27Oh, he weighed in at exactly 240 pounds.
23:30But then he lost his kingdom.
23:32No, they gave him the gold anyway.
23:34Well, how come?
23:36The Prince was in such great shape physically from the reducing machine that the women of Ramat have made him a matinee idol.
23:42You're good.
23:44Their whole style has changed.
23:45The entire country is on a crash diet.
23:48That's wonderful, Chief.
23:50Oh, incidentally, the Prince sent you a gift in appreciation of your services to him and to his country.
23:56Well, that's very nice of the Prince, Chief.
23:57Well, now, Max, you know the policy of control on things like that.
24:00Control agents are not allowed to accept gratuities.
24:03I know that, Chief.
24:04Don't worry.
24:05I'll send it back tomorrow.
24:12Would you believe the day after tomorrow?
24:42Yeah.
24:43Well, hey, let's go.
24:44Hey, lots ofcional issues.
24:45Yes!
24:47Unchmyed.
24:48In the old century Boric più pesky.
24:50Bye, tutta!
24:52Bye, gotcha!
24:54That's a high drive.
24:55T Sept.
24:56One巨炙 pelaore.
24:58Great place!
24:59And of course, let's check it out!
25:00Are you looking foronoids in the akutetel?
25:02Yeah, you can't see it!
25:05Yeah, every night for sure.
25:07I'm asking for myiem Leftovers.
25:10There's still a king.
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