- 7/5/2025
Celebrity Gogglebox Season 7 Episode 5
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FunTranscript
00:00Are you feeling all right?
00:01Yeah, man.
00:02A fever.
00:03How many boxes of tissues have you gone through this season?
00:05Too many, man.
00:06Too many.
00:07Have you had your tablet?
00:09No.
00:10That's probably why.
00:11That's probably why.
00:12Before you go...
00:13I keep forgetting.
00:14I keep forgetting.
00:15Go and get your tablet.
00:16I'm not watching a TV show without you.
00:18Go and have your A fever tablet.
00:20Sorry.
00:21Can you believe he's not had his tablet?
00:22That's why he's sneezing all the time.
00:23He should have them by his bedside and take one every night.
00:26I know.
00:27That's what I do.
00:28I know.
00:30Do you want a tissue?
00:33Yes, please.
00:40Yes!
00:41I'm so happy for you.
00:42What are we watching now?
00:44Sex.
00:45Nice.
00:48He's doing what?
00:49He's going on a train.
00:51This is a bit of you.
00:52My people.
00:54Do you know what I love?
00:55Soup.
00:58Is this actually a show?
00:59Yeah.
01:00Claire, it's too much.
01:01It's literally the greatest moment of my life.
01:04Fish bumpies.
01:06We've all got an undercarriage.
01:08I don't know.
01:09Grow up.
01:10In the week record temperatures had us all melting.
01:13We enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:17The sinister playground games from Korea were back.
01:27I don't think I'm ruthless enough for Squid Game.
01:29No, no.
01:30You're way too nice.
01:31Do you know what I mean?
01:32I would have been sat on the other side prepping sandwiches for everyone.
01:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:34Do you know what I mean?
01:35Here's some electrolytes.
01:36They're literally knackered after they go jumping.
01:38Sir Rod was rocking out down on Worthy Farm.
01:50And what a horrible way to spend the day though, to go out and stand in the field and watch someone half a mile away perform a medley of greatest hits from 40 years ago.
01:59Lots of people really like that.
02:02I know.
02:03And I don't understand why.
02:04And I'm not saying they're wrong.
02:06I'm just saying they're weird.
02:08And the big boat turned bad on Netflix.
02:12Somebody realised that the toilets weren't working.
02:18They needed electricity.
02:20So they weren't going to flush.
02:22Which is, with thousands of guests, a major issue.
02:27You don't even think about it.
02:28You just go, oh, yeah, that's the loo.
02:30That's the most important room in the house.
02:32And where does it all go?
02:33Where does it all go?
02:34It goes every house in London.
02:35The magic pool fairy takes it away.
02:36Every house in London.
02:38Sometimes if you're in a city, it's got huge tower blocks and everything.
02:41Everyone's got a toilet with a pipe with a poo coming down at the poo, poo, poo.
02:45Poo, poo into a big poo pipe out, out to the poo station where it gets recycled and just put straight into the rivers as it is.
02:55Honestly, just hang your bum over London Bridge and cut out the middleman.
03:00I like the cold.
03:01Do you?
03:02I like the cold as well.
03:03I like the cold because I like the clothes.
03:04I like the cold.
03:05Do you?
03:06I like the cold as well.
03:07I like the cold because I like the clothes.
03:11I like the cold.
03:12I like the cold.
03:13Do you?
03:14I like the cold as well.
03:15I like the cold because I like the clothes.
03:18Yeah, the cold.
03:19I like the big woolly things.
03:20I like the layering.
03:21Puffy, puffer jacket.
03:22Oh, I hate the puffer jacket.
03:23Do you?
03:24I like the layer.
03:25Yes, I like cashmere.
03:26Yeah, of course you would.
03:27You're a cashmere queen.
03:28You're a cashmere queen.
03:29Well, the cold.
03:30I'm competitive.
03:30I'm competitive if I think I can win something.
03:32Right.
03:33The minute I get a sniff of winning it, I'm really competitive.
03:36Even if I use you.
03:37You're a competitive line between the top and the top.
03:38I like the black and the top.
03:39Yeah, the cold in the top.
03:40I like the cold.
03:41I like the cold.
03:42I like the cold.
03:43Yeah, big woolly things.
03:44I like the layering.
03:45Puffy, puffer jacket.
03:46Oh, I hate a puffer jacket.
03:48Do you?
03:49I like the puffer jacket.
03:51I like the leather.
03:52Do you?
03:53I like cashmere.
03:54Yeah, of course you would.
03:55You're a cashmere.
03:56You're a cashmere queen.
03:57Oh.
03:58competitive even if you're taking on your own children at home no because I
04:02don't care about that stuff yeah I do like what was nothing more satisfying
04:07than beating a beating an 11 year old at catchphrase I know your general knowledge
04:11is good my general was pretty good it's nothing like your general only because
04:14I've been alive so much longer welcome to celebrity bridge of life
04:18his name is not a grandson I know no no Phil Phil no his name's not Phil I used
04:24to have a crush on him of course you did he's still your type
04:28Shave Dad looks like he might mug you bridge what are we looking for songs and
04:35their first words oh come on music music Aidan this is up your street I'm already
04:42quite stressed first words of true so fine very good gold
04:50thank thank yeah thank you fine yeah it took a bit too long then yeah yeah no
04:56well it's hard to do isn't it it's not easy your five minutes starts now
05:02space oddity by David Bowie calling space oddity I don't know what space all the
05:09is ground control ground control to major Tom wonder wall by Oasis today today he's
05:18gonna be the day that she's gonna throw it bad to you that's true so they're both
05:23right are they no no so wonder what's a major time so go wonder wall mr. brightside by
05:29the killers coming coming out of market yeah come in yeah I think you're making
05:39songs up okay I've been in enough clubs at the end of the night to sing coming out of
05:44my case yes well done shotgun by George Ezra Florida shotgun by George Ezra starts oh
05:51oh hey I can't remember the first word shotgun how does that begin
06:00uh um gimme gimme gimme by ABBA half I genuinely can't think of a worse topic for me to be involved
06:09in I'm so glad you're here to help me half past 10 gimme gimme gimme by ABBA oh my god you're
06:14amazing at this I know blue Monday by new order how dim dim dim dim dim dim dim dim oh what's the
06:21beginning of it do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do how does it feel how
06:34would school for how does it okay yeah yeah how does it feel that's correct how does that one go
06:39don't ask me I don't know my generation by the who people people try to put us down my generation
06:45people try to put us down so then it's people talking about my generation truth or lie that is
06:53a truth yes are you are you disagreeing do you actually know nah truth that opens up down under by
06:59men at work traveling traveling in a flight of combi that's definitely traveling okay down under
07:05do do do do do do do do do do do do um 30 seconds look Ross is getting stern oh he's getting oh I love
07:16it oh my goodness okay truth or lie it's getting tense that is true come on Natasha come on baby my way by
07:24Frank Sinatra and and now the end of that yeah yeah yeah yeah and I did it my way truth or lie that is
07:35the truth right now one more physical by Dua Lipa common it's gonna have to be physical it's gonna
07:40have to go go Dua Lipa go on step on that bow Rio by Duran Duran say Lee oh my god Ross stop talking to
07:47her like shut up let me entertain you by Robbie Williams hell you've got a step babe come on
07:52Dua Lipa Dua Lipa go Dua Lipa you've got a 50-50 truth or lie oh oh no oh see you'd have got that I
08:05would have got that step across no oh Natasha why would you do that why should she take so long
08:14what's all her money's gone all the money's gone she's too busy there rubbiting on well I don't
08:18know Ross I mean good one just move man you ran out of time look at his face oh he looks a gorgeous
08:24woman Natasha you ran out of time Ross it counts for nothing if the guys didn't press the panic
08:33button oh she's blaming them she's blaming them blaming them I think I think it is a press
08:37the panic button what the hell's a panic button if they can bank they can basically bank the money
08:41you didn't press you were utterly amazing and we have totally let you down they didn't press the
08:47panic button no they've done it they're lying did you or did you not press that panic button well
08:53maybe possibly guys well just tell us this isn't the X Factor come on you massive cheese mongers did
09:01you press it of course they pressed it Natasha so Natasha please make your way to the vaults oh he's happy
09:09you don't know he's happy now isn't he Ross right Ross god he can turn on a sixpence can't he any
09:14situation if I had to call anyone at any point to help me in any scenario Steve Backshaw is the one
09:20in any situation you're gonna call Steve Backshaw yes I don't have his number but I feel like he could
09:30solve most problems in Manchester do you know what in all my time I've never been on a parent's
09:38whatsapp group how good is that that's terrible friends Mark and Kelly oh they're funny though
09:45they're not they are I always clap rep when you class rep when you class rep yeah what did you
09:55have to do to be class rep I don't know but I put a lot of gifts on my uh on my whatsapps you'd
09:59have hated me just put gifts on your whatsapps all the time you'd have hated me I would put little
10:05things out go morning everyone leave leave Mark Chapman has left the group it was events at sea
10:15that had us on the edge of our seats on Netflix you'll never catch me on a cruise I'm about to say
10:19you've been on a cruise no you don't catch me ever seasick seasick yeah I do not agree with cruises
10:25why horrible experience train wreck train wreck poop cruise what the fuck is this this probably
10:36wasn't how it was advertised initially do you think darling there's a poop cruise we must go
10:42we must go on the poop cruise we've done Mexico we've done the Caribbean let's do poop the itinerary
10:49was two days at sea and then we were going to stop at Cozumel Mexico nice I've been on the
10:55busset over to the Isle of Aright that was bad enough then we were going to get back out to sea
11:00and have a nice day back to Galveston it's gonna be great that's it that's their trip okay so it's
11:05only a little short yeah I think this was on the news when was it quite a while ago I think I vaguely
11:12remember this story I was getting married it was my bachelorette party that's quite a good way to have
11:18a bachelorette party a little hen do on a cruise I think so we put our luggage down and we went
11:23straight up to the bar yeah my girls they like their drink they're there for a good time yeah we
11:28were supposed to go to some kind of safety briefing but that would be so wolves wouldn't it
11:31sorry safety what I remember being like we're not gonna need this information like what are the
11:36chances we need to remember a muster station right oh first mistake safety first vibes uh yeah you might
11:43darling I've heard of Titanic we were in the sun all day oh my god look at that yeah that's a bit of me
11:50that is proper party life is that you I don't I do for me drinking cocktails was amazing was it
11:57we're in the sun all day drinking cocktails eating bottomless food who's gonna need a mustard station
12:04something's happening this looks them what's going on ominous here's the story we go oh you don't
12:17want to hear that on a cruise an emergency you don't want that do you it's Titanic all over I don't want
12:21to hear that noise it's not like an iceberg is it I don't think there's I suppose it's the coast of
12:25Mexico how do you know you been I'm like oh my god this is it this is the Titanic we're going down
12:33that would be me I'd be so extra once we got up to the Lido deck the first thing I remember seeing
12:41it's like etched in my brain is seeing the big red thin there were flames just shooting out of it
12:49what oh my god this shit is on fire the captain came over and said there's a fire in the engine
12:57room look at that Jesus oh that is oh wow that is scary that would be terrifying and then the lights
13:04go out oh my goodness you you you would really be panicking now I'd be elbowing women children out
13:13of the way to get to the lifeboat and then somebody realized that the toilets weren't working oh no oh
13:19which is for thousands of guests a major issue and I don't know about you but I'm clockwork in the
13:27morning I'd be in trouble they're gonna have to hang their asses over the edge of the boat half
13:31jokingly I was like well we can do a number one in the shower she wants to wean the shower no poo in
13:38the shower no she said number one oh did she let's go with that pee in the shower yeah I'm with you
13:48why that's worse surely well it's got somewhere to go I guess and then for the number two what do
13:57they do with the number twos and if you do need it to do a number two what we're gonna do is we're
14:03gonna deliver some red bags to all of the bathrooms on board and if you do need to do a number two we
14:10ask that you please do it in the red bag oh god that is the right thing to do and drop it off in
14:16the bins in the corridors no way who in a bag has a poo in a bag and then put it in the corridor I mean
14:23it's not like you poo 10 times a day you've only got to do one or two a day am I wrong am I wrong
14:31we're starting to smell urine yeah starting to smell the toilets oh oh no they weren't draining
14:41they weren't draining blocked up they're backed up yes the drains don't work that was a verb song
14:48yes it was everywhere oh oh no that's just disgusting someone's had the rubber gloves out
14:58oh no oh not the shitty bags in the corridor as soon as the ship starts pulling in we see people
15:16are yelling they have signs for us oh that's nice I guess someone did Instagram about it on the shore
15:23yeah and it was me my soon-to-be father-in-law we were like shaking hands and hugging and being
15:30like we totally made it through this together didn't we and we didn't have to use a red bag
15:362013 I survived the poop cruise if I was like the captain I would have said all blokes piss over
15:46the edge mind you then saying that if your balcony is above someone else and there's a wind yeah
15:51yeah but a lot of people like to get up in the night and do a wee don't they we don't want to do
15:59that on the edge fucking hell imagine that happened to poor Jane Mcdonald she would have been lost at sea
16:03yeah wonder if she was on that boat don't you fucking worm no oh yeah she's hosting the sofa wall yeah
16:09in North London how was your holiday babe you know what it was really nice was that best friends
16:22Sarah and Claire but I messed up my packing because when I was packing I sort of sorted out my clothes
16:28a bit and I had one that was a charity shop pile and one that was a take on holiday pile and I
16:33accidentally took some of the charity stuff with me so instead of my lovely nice denim shorts I took
16:39a denim skirt from when I was about 25 all the stuff that you can't get into yeah that really
16:45doesn't fit so that was me waddling around the buffet breakfast with a tiny denim skirt on
16:50those two like little belts yeah basically nice apart from that it was perfect lovely
16:55in Essex let me tell you what I love doing
16:59getting up and driving to your house at four in the morning to pick you up for our radio show
17:05best mates Jordan and Perry then I sit outside your house for I don't know 40 minutes ringing you
17:12your girlfriend your ring doorbell trying to get your attention getting no attention uh having to then
17:18drive and do the radio show completely on my own until you wake up after we've been live for an hour
17:24and a half and tell me oh sorry I missed my alarm you didn't just oversleep you missed half your
17:30work day and then you come around here and finish the mango I had two bits this week Netflix thrilled
17:39us with the final installment of the deadliest show on telly I'm so excited for squid game I've been
17:46waiting wait I've been waiting too long I've never seen this oh my goodness what happens they hunt
17:52squid they eat squid because you could win a few squid is that what it is that's it exactly you win a lot
18:03of squid you know what happened with the first series my daughter who at the time was like 12 yeah we
18:10were sat down to discuss because she wanted to watch it and we sat down and we were like we really don't
18:15think it's suitable we need to talk about whether you should watch it it's very disturbing and she
18:20was like I'm on episode seven parenting fail parenting fail look away look away this is gonna be
18:32interesting because player 222 had a baby in the last episode so God knows what's gonna happen here
18:37this is the way they make their way up to the game hall can you get out if you suddenly don't
18:45like the game no oh you can't get out not you know you're completely trapped right
18:49so he's four five six he's like the main guy he's probably the only one you can trust
19:02is he goody he's goody he's trying to dismantle the whole thing okay
19:06I'll take the kid is she bringing the kid into the game I guess she's got no choice
19:12what's the game what's the game gonna be oh god no the big giant doll thing the game you'll be
19:28playing today is jump room oh no way oh it's what it's skipping so they're gonna have to stand there
19:35why the dolls do that skipping yeah oh my god oh that's a big swelling oh 222 is not gonna send a
19:46chance she can't walk oh yeah a bad leg oh this is scary here we go swing that rope it's quite a hard
19:55rope as well yes it is no oh my word oh fuck that
20:05oh it's going so fast I hate it in order to continue all players must make it across the
20:11bridge within the time limit okay but that can't include the baby dickhead any player who fails to
20:16do so in the allotted time will be eliminated the baby's a player how she can do that she's got a
20:24bad ankle when she's holding a baby there's no way there's no way she can do it listen we need
20:30someone to step up and go first all right you go we all vote you will you bring her across with
20:36you when you go oh I can't bear it I'm gonna cry he's got to take the baby she can't jump she's not
20:45even gonna save herself now oh they've got to do it before the crook runs it otherwise anyone who's
20:52not across gets killed you could flick flack across you could flick flack across you just gotta time it
20:58right go to full time your flicks then you flat and your flacks just do it it's gonna go it's gonna
21:07go it's gonna go go fucking hell oh my god he's doing it oh yes he's doing well why is he getting down like a
21:22little dog well I don't think you're in any position to criticize his technique frankly I'm not a fan of it
21:27though well he's doing fine so far no jump oh no he's gonna get taken out look he's just stopped
21:35oh no that's it he's gone okay who's next I'll come back for you once we're across yes he's gonna go
21:55next oh he's gonna come back for her oh my goodness excuse me okay out of my way you squares oh he's
22:03going he's going he's going what's gonna do with the baby yeah you can't jump throw it up in the air
22:10and jump catch it oh the poor baby okay stop crying baby that's not helping oh my god there's a hole in
22:29the middle there's a gap the gap is diabolical jump jump jump why are you getting so close I'm nervous
22:40oh my god that's very tense yeah do you watch that pleasure yeah I watch that for pleasure yeah
22:56wind down of an evening wind down of an evening watch the squid game
22:59in North London you're right Dusty I'm a crisp Stephen and his sister Anita high five
23:14high five oh is that what you're saying to me oh sorry oh yeah imagine if you had to perform
23:34every time he wants a different Dusty does on Friday Gary Barlow was having another lovely time down
23:41under on ITV one hello hello Rose are you yes very summary of you this is two of our favorite things
23:48and Gary Barlow mm-hmm he sends me his one to say he sends me his Gary Barlow one
23:54yeah he always sends me the wine nice but thank you nice bottle thank me thank the Barlow oh thanks
24:06Gary Barlow I'm starting my Queensland adventure in Kuya Beach I've been there me and mum went there
24:14before you existed as usual I have a special guest with me oh who is it who's your guest Gary she's my
24:21daughter Emily this trip is the perfect opportunity for some rare and precious time together it's like
24:33bring your daughter to work day did you like that yeah and no one else to come between us and I knew
24:40it was too good to be true oh here we go oh hang on hang on who's this because Emily doesn't want to go
24:46anywhere these days oh boyfriend well I hope it's a boyfriend because otherwise that's a bit friendly
24:52for a stranger without a boyfriend Marshall that's a big third wheel for Gary oh Gary's a gooseberry
24:58Marshall Marshall interesting oh so it's one of those this situation does he approve oh nice in this
25:06prehistoric landscape you can never be sure what weird and wonderful beings will emerge from the
25:12undergrowth my son dad you're beached you're beached what is that a lilo are they about to do a slip and
25:28slide a slip and slide with Gary Barlow it's just been a dream they're made of oh that's cold follow me
25:34and try to go head first down the street oh that looks fun crocodiles though would you do that see
25:39no no it's not exactly Niagara Falls Gary Christ when the rapids at center back so you always end up
25:54wedged under some random guy so you do Geordie with loads of tattoos sorry sorry about that you're
26:01all right sorry we're just going down the rapids we're just stuck together for a while I like your
26:05tattoo there was that your son it's very nice that was crazy can we do that again right can we get to
26:13the wine where's the wine going let's try some chardonnay I've got absolutely no idea where we're going
26:21next okay so what does today hold what's that in his hand is he all right what's happened to him
26:27has he got a walker we're going on a train we're not going on a train he's doing what he's going on
26:32a train oh not a train not a train whatever next what is this another wind-up we're going on a train
26:40I'll be really you're kidding me wait what's excited out Gary loves trains oh he's a proper
26:45train train nerd it's 130 years old and it winds through 15 tunnels and 37 bridges what yes I love
26:56it I'm so excited yes how many tunnels let's not miss the train come on the train this way this way
27:06look at him he's running no no he's not really can't wait what's missing in his life that trains
27:11school so much excitement first-class rainforest travel here we go here we go here's the booze
27:19thank God for that cheers everyone cheers what an experience I don't know where to look it's one of
27:27those isn't it just look at Marshall just stare at Marshall the whole journey just when you think
27:32this journey couldn't get any better go on oh out comes more Australian wine oh he's mixing his
27:39grapes oh he'd have such a headache when he arrives and some cheesy nibbly-wibblies do you like cheesy
27:45nibbly-wibbly I just don't want to think about Gary Barlow's nibbly nibbly you've both been very
27:50well behaved oh yes so I've got little stickers oh god well done kids thanks dad well done on to the
27:57next adventure let's do it not you Marshall Marshall you get back on that contrary go home I might give
28:06you a sticker at the end of the school run tomorrow sticker well done Georgia don't get any crisis no
28:12we don't get thanked for anything do we babe absolutely Gary Barlow sticker in North London impressed by
28:19your lovely tattoo in honor of your mother are you still bitter well where's mine where's dad on your
28:24body what's the why have you got that no seriously joking aside joking aside when you had that done
28:28did you not think oh I better balance this out honey and a dad Jonathan or was it a kind of subtle dig
28:35or is it like hello world or are you just being a cliche well it's things like that why you haven't
28:42got the tattoo yet it was it where is it it's coming when you've earned yourself it's like when an
28:46angel get myself what possibly more could I do for you in your life when the father gets his tat I
28:52don't know what more could you do for me that was a I'm thinking when I figure it out I'll let you
28:57know on Friday night Channel 4 was treasure hunting again millionaire hoarders this is better you my
29:04people yeah I love any hoarding show because it reminds me to get rid of stuff oh I'm I absolutely
29:11can't I'd love getting rid of stuff one of my favorite things to go to the tip
29:14I'm a bit of a hoarder you are a bit of a hoarder yeah there's stuff everywhere I know collector knows
29:23everything they've got they know where it all is and they look after it all a hoarder is a person
29:26who just can't stop bringing stuff in and they put it in a room any which way and it doesn't matter
29:31as you know I spent an exhausting day at the weekend clearing up my collection of small Japanese tins
29:37curious expert Ed he looks like an expert you guys he's on his way to meet a collector with a
29:43singular passion keys love it keys nice I've got loads of keys oh like you think that's good yeah
29:48then they're beautiful objects though aren't they right Knightsbridge sales assistant Luigi
29:54keeps his collection under lock and key and here we are I don't have keys do I no I won't have them
30:03I don't trust no you don't trust me to have any keys in the house no you're not allowed to no
30:07last time I counted there was over 600 I was gonna say 600 isn't like a massive amount for a hoarder
30:15is it that's kind of that's because you're a hoarder and I have spent well over a hundred thousand
30:21pounds in buying them on no way I want to be buried with my keys like this is really I want to take them
30:28to my grave well you're gonna have to because nobody else will want them there's um oh no are
30:34you gonna start collecting keys mummy no so large is Luigi's key collection he's finally decided to buy
30:41his first house oh he spent it all on keys and he's planning to create a dedicated key room but he
30:50needs to find money from his collection to fund it sell that big one yeah yeah he might have to sell
30:55oh but oh god I love the way he's displayed his keys so you've got magnets and they all stand which
31:03is great that's impressive in what way in there he's restored them he's presented them would you
31:09go to the key museum no I wouldn't if he put all those keys on display and you were in some like
31:14small town and they said oh we've got a key museum you can come and see all these keys presented this is
31:19the history of keys would you go and see it no I wouldn't right oh these are superb these are the
31:26ones that I love wow I get this actually I'm just starting to get this you're gonna start collecting
31:30keys no but I mean I'm getting I'm getting why they're amazing they're beautiful things I shall
31:35be looking at keys no mummy I shall be looking no with more interest it's the bagpipes all over again
31:41it's the paperweights I like my little people I like little people I know we've got too many things
31:49that you like already okay okay I mean this key is huge and I mean size does matter our size matters
31:57and keys whoa what would that even open Gary Barlow's son's bedroom this one I could I noticed this
32:05because you could see the royal stamp there's a royal key there okay there you go a royal highness
32:12to Princess Augusta and Queen Victoria was actually a niece of Princess Augusta that's nice see that is
32:20a key I don't matter for that one to the big old German one she lived at Clarence house she would
32:25have then used this key to visit the gardens at St James's Park oh snap very cool that's sick isn't
32:32it crazy back then they never would have known they would have ended up in Luigi's flat back at the
32:38auction house with Oliver impressed with the keys and keen to sell them Ed needs to talk numbers come
32:44on Ed we'll start with the German strong box 2,800 for the big one then we've got the Princess Augusta
32:53the one that alone cost me 2,200 euros when I purchased it he denied his face well when
33:00he said I spent 2,200 euros he went what what did you mad the only person who's gonna buy this is an
33:08ab is another version of him so for this big strong box key what would you put as an estimate going into
33:15the auction you'd probably put a low estimate on it sort of two to four hundred pounds huh oh
33:22what no no he's not gonna he's not gonna do that I think this would probably make in the region of 700
33:29oh no moving on to this princess key what would be a value for that Oliver okay we still got the
33:38princess key okay I would say we're looking at a thousand to two thousand pounds at auction that's a
33:43bit better oh maybe not terrible then I've got a bad feeling about this I don't think Luigi's gonna be
33:48paying for his key really but I would like to think it would really take off but it's a risk Luigi was
33:54done dirty there poor Luigi he just wants his key money I remember as a child being dragged around
33:59antique shops well I remember being dragged around soft clay
34:04come on through the rollers mummy
34:10I love antique shopping yeah you but you don't just love antique shopping you buy those creepy like
34:16Victorian pictures you've got a couple of them but your eyes seem to follow you around the room
34:20a couple yeah yeah nothing wrong with like a little canvas of a Buddha head from home sense
34:25that's what I go for that's me stick one of them in the downstairs Lou it's heartier it's got a bit
34:31more feeling you know it's been in like someone else's home yeah he's there that it's called being
34:35haunted yeah I'm not getting my house haunted by your creepy ghost pictures okay well that's why
34:41you have mirrored furniture
34:42in Birmingham do you know what I've got what what you got it's been so hot recently as well
34:59um I've got these at home that I use that the fans look Alison her son Aiden and her sister Sandra
35:06oh you put around your neck you put you can put but this this one that was huge look at the size of
35:11it yeah but look it twists it's really really good look you can have it anywhere and at night
35:16you know when you can't see yeah turn it on feel that you can have one up there and then I need
35:24that just like I just see where's the other one wherever you want it on Friday night channel 4
35:33turned up the heat with another toe curling trip to the open house what are we watching now sex
35:40come on I'm so excited for this sexy time come on it's basically loads of up for it people go to a
35:46house and bang nice house it's a great house if you're gonna have sex in a house go there do it
35:53in that one how are you with sex well do you like it I think I'm rather splendid at it yeah in my own
35:59opinion I mean it's brief but it's enjoyable that's all you need heading to the retreat our married
36:04couple hairdresser Tanya and window cleaner Ashley from Leeds okay all right classic window cleaner
36:11glue club Tanya brought up the idea of an open relationship and letting other women join us
36:22which was a bit of a shock at first I didn't know if it was like a trap he is a tread carefully boy
36:29He's like, no. He's like, I would never do that.
36:33I couldn't.
36:36I mean, if it's going to make you happy.
36:40Tanya and Ashley have been having sex with other people for five years.
36:45Oh, I see. How do they get in?
36:47Have you got underwear that looks like that?
36:49Is that underwear? I think so.
36:51OK. I have a lot of ribbons,
36:52so I could probably make that out of my art and crafts drawer.
36:55So we're coming in to venture off our own separate ways
36:58to have sex separately from each other.
37:01Oh, right. So now, having done everything together,
37:04now it's doing it apart.
37:06It's so dangerous, this game, isn't it?
37:08I would be so nervous right now, would you?
37:10Yeah.
37:10It's obviously always a worry about rejection,
37:12but I'm hoping that that doesn't actually happen.
37:15Tanya finds someone, she sort of goes off,
37:17and I just sit in the room clock-watching,
37:19waiting for him to come back.
37:20It'll be pretty horrible.
37:22Oh, no. He's struggling. I feel sorry for him already.
37:25I'm worried he's going to be sat there with a word search.
37:28And a cup of cocoa while she's off having, you know...
37:32The time of her life.
37:34Yeah.
37:35Are you going?
37:37Have fun.
37:38See you soon.
37:38See you soon.
37:39Oh, God, are you going? Go on.
37:41Are you going?
37:42Go on. Off you go.
37:43What? Let Mummy have some fun.
37:45This is going to work out quite badly, I think.
37:47Right, see you back here in half an hour.
37:49Yeah, or not.
37:50Or not.
37:51How are you?
37:51I'm good, a bit nervous.
37:52I'm Olivia, it's lovely to meet you.
37:56Is Tanya like your comfort blanket?
37:58Yep.
37:58Yeah.
37:59It's not very sexy, though, is it?
38:01That, the nervousness thing.
38:02I mean, it's relatable, and I'm definitely that person.
38:05But if you're looking to go upstairs to the Wetterwing and get banged,
38:08you're not going to be looking to him, are you?
38:10My husband, too, he's in there, and I'm like, where is he?
38:13Oh, so her husband's in there, and talking to his wife.
38:19Right.
38:19Is this you asking me back, is it?
38:21Potentially.
38:22Yeah, I'm interested.
38:23I'm definitely interested.
38:24Yeah, I'm definitely interested.
38:25You're not going to reject me.
38:25I'm not going to reject you, no.
38:27Because if you do, honestly, I'll hunt you down.
38:28No, no, no.
38:31Oh, look at him.
38:32Yeah, I want to go and give Ashley a hug.
38:34Now, that may be misinterpreted within that environment.
38:37In the context.
38:39See you soon.
38:40Oh, my God.
38:40Oh, my God, see you soon.
38:42Oh, listen, each to their own, but he clearly ain't into this.
38:47No.
38:47She was out of there like a rat up a drain pipe.
38:50You all right?
38:51Yeah, I'm good.
38:51How are you?
38:52I'm good.
38:53It's got all really quiet.
38:54Oh, she's sweet.
38:55She's sweet.
38:56So, this is the bloke's wife.
38:57Oh, plot twist.
39:01Prosecco's nice.
39:01That was his chat.
39:03Prosecco's nice.
39:06Yeah, I wonder if you wanted to go spend a bit more time together.
39:11Yeah.
39:11I would like to get to know you more.
39:13That's good to her.
39:14Yeah?
39:14Yeah.
39:14Come on, Ash.
39:16Come on, Ash.
39:17Do the best.
39:17Take your my shoes off.
39:18Yeah, take your shoes off.
39:19Let's get comfortable.
39:21Mummy, there's cameras.
39:22Mummy, there's cameras everywhere.
39:24Are we going to...
39:24We're not.
39:25We're not.
39:25Are we...
39:26We're not.
39:27Are they going to...
39:28Do you want to have fun?
39:30We can go to the yurt, if the yurt's available.
39:32The yurt.
39:33Oh.
39:34What is a yurt?
39:35I think it's like a...
39:36I thought it's where you milked goats.
39:39Oh, it's nice.
39:40Oh, it's a nice yurt.
39:42It's a sort of glamping idea.
39:43You've got, like, Peter's string for his bedroom or we've gone camping.
39:47Yeah.
39:47Don't say you've got a-fever or something.
39:51You are good?
39:52Yep.
39:52Oh, Ash.
39:54It's unbearable.
39:55I cannot bear this.
39:59Meanwhile...
40:00Of course Gage has brought a blindfold with him, hasn't he?
40:03Absolutely.
40:03Absolutely.
40:04Oh, no, it's a bit near the mark now, isn't it?
40:29No!
40:31What?
40:31What?
40:32Please.
40:34No!
40:38Whoa!
40:39She's twerking.
40:42Where's our guy?
40:43Ash, come on, man.
40:44I swear, if we go back to this yurt and they're just eating pombeers and having a chat, I'm
40:49not going to be happy.
40:49It better be a mess in there.
40:51It better be.
40:52It better be.
40:53She can't be doing our guy like that, man.
40:55Do you have pineapple pizza?
40:56No!
40:58No, no pineapple pizza.
41:00Do you have pineapple on your pizza?
41:01Pineapple pizza?
41:02Oh, Ash.
41:08Shall we get this awkwardness out of the way?
41:10Because this is making me cringey.
41:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:14Oh, he's dripping off.
41:16Just take it off.
41:17Come on, Ash.
41:21Oh, we're not going to see some awkward sex now.
41:23Come on, stuff her crust.
41:24Oh, good luck to them both.
41:31It's a happy ending.
41:33Yeah.
41:33In more ways than one.
41:35Mm, very much so.
41:36Always great to watch with your sister.
41:38In South London.
41:42So this morning I played netball.
41:44Did you?
41:45Yeah.
41:45You slipped that one in in the morning?
41:47Yeah.
41:47Good friends Fern and Jarja.
41:50I like the idea of the bib.
41:51The bib's really great.
41:53Bring the bib back.
41:53Yeah.
41:54I love a netball bib.
41:55Yeah.
41:56Come and play.
41:56I used to be, yeah.
41:58You used to come and play.
41:58I would either do, I would either do goal attack.
42:02Sometimes I did centre when the really fast girl wasn't in.
42:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:06I liked centre.
42:07I mean that is, that's a lot of running.
42:09It's a lot of running about.
42:10Can you shoot?
42:12A bit rusty.
42:13Okay, because goal attack you do need to be able to shoot.
42:14A little bit rusty, you're going to be able to shoot, yeah.
42:15I just need to put a bit of time into practising that.
42:18Yeah.
42:18And then maybe.
42:20Well listen, you work on that.
42:21Okay, sure.
42:22And when you've done that, then you can come and play a match with me.
42:24Yeah.
42:24We'll lose together.
42:25I'm just there for the bib.
42:27Literally there for the bib.
42:29On Sunday night, we all gathered in a field to see a rock legend on BBC One.
42:34I'm really sad I didn't get tickets this year.
42:36Really?
42:37Yeah.
42:37Because it's Glastonbury.
42:38I've got no idea why any sensible, right-thinking human being would want to inflict that on themselves.
42:47Wow.
42:47You're fun.
42:48You must be fun.
42:49I hate it.
42:53I'd love to go to Glastonbury.
42:55I'm going to do it one day.
42:56Did you enjoy my win at a Glastonbury party?
42:59Yeah, I really did.
43:00Much more than I would have done Glastonbury.
43:01I thought that.
43:02Yeah.
43:02Well, all right then.
43:03It is time for the iconic Glastonbury legend slot.
43:07Oh my God.
43:07The legend slot.
43:08Is it an 80-year-old man?
43:12Who's the legend this year?
43:13It's the legend.
43:14It's Rod Stewart, isn't it?
43:16Oh.
43:17Oh, there he is.
43:23Oh, there he is.
43:24He looks good, doesn't he?
43:25Isn't he great?
43:26Isn't he like 80?
43:27Go on, Rod!
43:30Why are you standing up over there?
43:32Because I'm literally listening to it.
43:33Can't fit it down.
43:34He does look like Nan, doesn't he?
43:39Yeah, yeah, he does a bit.
43:41Do you know what I love about a rock star of this era?
43:43Yeah, go on.
43:44Is that they've just stuck with the same haircut.
43:46Like, hats off.
43:47I can do it.
43:48I'm changing my haircut every two minutes.
43:49These guys committed.
43:55Is this Maggie Mae?
43:56Oh, hang on a second.
43:58What?
43:58Maggie Mae.
44:00Who's that?
44:00Oh, please don't make the crowd sing.
44:08That's why you know you've made it,
44:09when you don't actually have to sing.
44:10Here we go.
44:11What are you doing?
44:13Where are you going?
44:14It's late September and I'm here to show you.
44:17Back at school.
44:19Now, can you sit down?
44:20I've never heard of it.
44:21This song?
44:21No.
44:22What do you mean?
44:23I've never heard it.
44:23How have you avoided Maggie Mae
44:25throughout the last 40 years?
44:27I keep you amused
44:29But I feel I'm being used
44:33Oh, Maggie, I couldn't have tried
44:36I don't like the feel of you.
44:39I can feel you thrusting behind me.
44:41It's not nice.
44:42I had sausage and mash with Rod Stewart.
44:44Did you?
44:44Yeah, he loves sausages and mash.
44:46Did you know that?
44:47I didn't know that.
44:48Yeah, he does.
44:48He loves them.
44:49How about that?
44:50Yeah.
44:50You stole my soul
44:52But I love you anyway
44:54Hey, I could be there on someone's shoulders
44:58Swaying.
44:59Swaying.
45:00That would be nice.
45:01Could you have me on your shoulders, own?
45:03No.
45:03I suppose I couldn't have that
45:08What's happened?
45:11He's forgotten the words.
45:12What?
45:12What happened there?
45:14He's forgotten the words.
45:15No, Rod Stewart, that's his age.
45:17He's having a senior moment.
45:23He's so hot and tired.
45:25Poor Rod.
45:26Don't blame him.
45:27He's playing guitar.
45:29Him.
45:29Oh, my God.
45:34No, don't you're embarrassing yourself now.
45:36Oh, come on, Rod.
45:40What do you think?
45:42I've got my cocks on, too.
45:53That's a lot of work.
45:55No, he's amazing.
45:56He's amazing.
45:57He's amazing.
45:57Also, he looks great.
46:00He looks better at 80 than I do at 64.
46:03Yeah, he's snatched.
46:04Did you just agree with me, then?
46:09Isn't that lovely?
46:10Old and young, bringing everyone together.
46:13Well done, Rod.
46:15Well done, Rod.
46:16I mean, I have to say, it's pretty impressive for...
46:19He's 80.
46:21...an 80-year-old.
46:22I'm just not sure it's necessary.
46:24Well, it's definitely, maybe, the best day ever for Oasis fans out there.
46:33To mark the start of their reunion, watch Liam and Noel recount their rise to household name in Supersonic tomorrow night at 10.
46:40Next tonight, here on Channel 4, little by little, are friends helping all the lovers out there.
46:44The search for something electric continues with a new series of first dates.
46:49The perfect world.
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