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Bigfoot USA
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Fun
Transcript
00:00Are you feeling all right?
00:01Yeah man, AFever.
00:02How many boxes of tissues have you gone through this season?
00:05Too many man, too many.
00:06Have you had your tablet?
00:09No, that's probably why.
00:10That's probably why.
00:12I keep forgetting, I keep forgetting.
00:14Go and get your tablet.
00:15I'm not watching a TV show without you having to go and have your AFever tablet.
00:19Sorry.
00:20Can you believe he's not had his tablet?
00:21That's why he's sneezing all the time.
00:23He should have them by his bedside and take one every night.
00:26That's what I do.
00:27I know.
00:30Do you want a tissue?
00:33Yes, please.
00:40Yes!
00:41I'm so happy for you.
00:42What are we watching now?
00:44Sex.
00:45Nice.
00:48He's doing what?
00:49He's going on a train.
00:50This is a bit of you.
00:51My people.
00:53Do you know what I love?
00:55Soup.
00:57Is this actually a song?
00:59Yeah.
01:00Claire, it's too much.
01:01It's literally the greatest moment of my life.
01:04Fish bug me.
01:05We've all got an undercarriage.
01:08I don't know.
01:09Grow up.
01:10In the week record temperatures had us all melting.
01:13We enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:17The sinister playground games from Korea were back.
01:27I don't think I'm ruthless enough for Squid Game.
01:29No, no, you're way too nice.
01:30Do you know what I mean?
01:31I would have been sat on the other side prepping sandwiches for everyone.
01:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:34Do you know what I mean?
01:35No.
01:36It's some electrolytes.
01:37They're literally knackered off when they're jumping.
01:38Sir Rod was rocking out down on Worthy Farm.
01:50What a horrible way to spend the day, though, to go out and stand in the field and watch someone
01:55a half a mile away before my medley of greatest hits from 40 years ago.
02:00Lots of people really like that.
02:02I know, and I don't understand why.
02:04And I'm not saying they're wrong.
02:06I'm just saying they're weird.
02:08And a big bolt turned bad on Netflix.
02:11Somebody realised that the toilets weren't working.
02:18They needed electricity.
02:20So they weren't going to flush, which is, with thousands of guests, a major issue.
02:27You don't even think about it.
02:28You just go, oh, yeah, that's the loo.
02:30That's the most important room in the house.
02:32And where does it all go?
02:33Where does it all go?
02:34It goes every house in London.
02:35The magic poop fairy takes it away.
02:37Every house in London.
02:38Sometimes, if you're in a city, it's got huge tower blocks and everything.
02:41Everyone's got a toilet with a pipe with a poo coming down at the poo, poo, poo.
02:45Poo, poo.
02:46Into a big poo pipe.
02:47Out, out to the poo station, where it gets recycled and put straight into the river as it is.
02:55Honestly, just hang your bum over London Bridge and cut out the middleman.
03:00In Oxford...
03:09Oh, the heat today.
03:11Anton Dubeck.
03:13Mother of God.
03:15It's like over 30.
03:17Don't complain.
03:18I'm boiling.
03:19We're not allowed to complain.
03:21Do you like the heat?
03:22Friends Anton and Craig.
03:24I like the cold.
03:25Do you?
03:26I like the cold as well.
03:27I like the cold because I like the clothes.
03:30Yeah, the cold.
03:31I like, yeah, big woolly things and...
03:33I like the layering.
03:34Puffy, puffer jackets.
03:35Oh, I hate the puffer jacket.
03:36Do you?
03:37I like the layer.
03:38Yes, I like cashmere.
03:39Yeah.
03:40Of course you would.
03:41You're a cashmere.
03:42You're a cashmere queen.
03:43On Saturday night, more famous faces were trying to cross our favourite bridge on BBC One.
03:52I'm competitive if I think I can win something.
03:55The minute I get a sniff of winning it, I'm really competitive.
03:58Even if you're taking on your own children at home?
04:01No, because I don't care about that stuff.
04:03Oh, I do.
04:04Yeah, I don't.
04:05I do.
04:06There's nothing more satisfying than beating an 11-year-old at catchphrase.
04:10I know your general knowledge is good.
04:11My general knowledge is pretty good.
04:12It's nothing like your general knowledge.
04:13Well, only because I've been alive so much longer.
04:16Welcome to Celebrity Bridge of Life.
04:18His name's not a grandson.
04:20Oh, no.
04:21No, not Phil.
04:22Phil.
04:23No, his name's not Phil.
04:24Oh, I used to have a crush on him.
04:26Of course you did.
04:27He's still your type.
04:28He is.
04:29Shaved dead.
04:30Looks like he might mug you.
04:31Bridge.
04:32What are we looking for?
04:34Songs and their first words.
04:37Oh, come on.
04:38Oh, music.
04:39Music.
04:40Hayden, this is up your street.
04:41Come on, Hayden.
04:42I'm already quite stressed.
04:43First words of true.
04:45So.
04:46Fine.
04:47Very good.
04:48Gold.
04:49Thank.
04:50Thank.
04:51Yeah, thank you.
04:53Fine.
04:54Yeah, yeah, it is.
04:55Took a bit too long then.
04:56Yeah, yeah.
04:57No, it's hard to do, isn't it?
04:58It's not easy.
04:59Five minutes starts now.
05:03Okay.
05:04Space Oddity by David Bowie calling.
05:08Space Oddity.
05:09I don't know what Space Oddity is.
05:10Ground control.
05:11Ground control to Major Tom.
05:15Wonderwall by Oasis today.
05:18Today is gonna be the day that she's gonna throw it bad to you.
05:21That's the truth.
05:22So they're both right, are they?
05:23No.
05:24No.
05:25So, Wonderwall.
05:26Ground control to Major Tom.
05:27So, go Wonderwall.
05:28Mr. Brightside by The Killers.
05:30Coming.
05:31Coming out of my key.
05:32Yeah.
05:33Coming.
05:34Yeah.
05:35Oh, Mr. Brightside.
05:37I think you're making songs up.
05:40Okay.
05:41I've been in enough clubs at the end of the night to sing, coming out of my key.
05:45Yes, well done.
05:46Shotgun by George Ezra, Florida.
05:49Shotgun by George Ezra starts.
05:52Oh, I can't remember the first word.
05:55Shotgun.
05:59How does that begin?
06:02Gimme, gimme, gimme by Abba Half.
06:05I genuinely can't think of a worse topic for me to be involved in than this.
06:09I'm so glad you're here to help me.
06:10Half past ten, gimme, gimme, gimme by Abba.
06:12Oh, my God, you're amazing at this.
06:14I know.
06:15Blue Monday by New Order.
06:17How?
06:18Dim, dim, dim, dim, dim, dim.
06:20Oh, what's the beginning of it?
06:21Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
06:25Oh, Ross, no!
06:26Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
06:32How does it feel?
06:34How would school for how does it okay? Yeah? Yeah? How does it feel? That's correct. How does that one go? Don't ask me
06:40I don't know my generation by the who people people try to put down my generation people try to put us down
06:47But then it's people talking about my
06:51Truth or lie
06:52That is a true. Yeah, you are you disagree? Do you actually know now?
06:57Truth that opens up down under by men at work traveling traveling in a fly to combi
07:03That's definitely traveling. Okay. Don't under do do do do do do do do do do do
07:1230 seconds look Ross is getting stern. Oh, he's getting oh, I love it. Oh my goodness. Okay truth or lie
07:20That is true. Come on Natasha. Come on baby my way by Frank Sinatra and and now the end of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah
07:29I did it
07:33Truth or lie
07:34That is a true right now one more physical by Dua Lipa common. It's gonna have to be physical
07:40It's gonna have to go down. Don't you leap up on step on that bathroom Rio by Duran Duran say Lee?
07:45Oh my god Ross stop talking to her like shut up. Let me entertain you by Robbie Williams hell
07:51You've got a step babe. Come on Dua Lipa Dua Lipa go Dua Lipa. You've got a 50 50
07:56I'm gonna go to the line oh
07:58Oh
08:00Oh
08:02No, oh, so you'd have got that. I would have got that step across. No
08:06Oh
08:09Natasha, why would you do that?
08:14What's all her money's gone? All the money's gone. She's too busy there and rub it in on. Well, I don't know Ross
08:18I mean people have to just move man. You ran out of time. Look at his face. We look for gorgeous
08:26Sasha
08:27You run out of time
08:29Ross it counts for nothing if the guys didn't press the panic button. Oh, she's blaming them. It's blaming them blame them
08:36I think I think it isn't press the palace
08:38What the hell's a penny bun is I can bank so I can basically bank the money
08:41You didn't press you were utterly amazing and we have totally let you down
08:46They didn't press the panic button now. They've done it. They're lying. Did you or did you not press that panic button? Well?
08:54Maybe
08:56Possibly guys will just tell us this isn't the exact time come on your massive cheese mongos. Did you press it? Yeah, did you not press it?
09:02You press it of course they press it Natasha. So Natasha
09:06Please make your way to the vaults. Oh, he's happy
09:09He's happy now, isn't he Ross. Right, Ross. God, he can turn on a sixpence can't it? Any situation if I had to call anyone at any point to help me in any
09:18Scenario Steve Backshall is the one
09:21In any situation you're gonna call Steve Backshall? Yes. I don't have his number
09:26But I feel like he could solve most problems
09:31In Manchester, do you know what in all my time? I've never been on a parent's whatsapp group. How good is that at school?
09:41Terrible. Friends Mark and Kelly. Oh, they're funny though. They're not. They are. I always clap rep when you're class rep when you're
09:49Class rep? Yeah. What did you have to do to be class rep? I don't know, but I put a lot of gifs on my uh on my whatsapps
09:59You'd have hated me. You just put gifs on your whatsapps all the time. You'd have hated me
10:03I would put little things out and go, morning everyone
10:06Leave. Leave. Mark Chapman has left the group
10:13It was events at sea that had us on the edge of our seats on Netflix
10:18You'll never catch me on a cruise. I was about to say, have you ever been on a cruise? No, you haven't catch me ever. Seasick
10:21Seasick, yeah. I do not agree with cruises. Why?
10:26Horrible experience
10:30Trainwreck
10:32Poop cruise?
10:34What the fuck is this?
10:36It probably wasn't how it was advertised initially, do you think? Darling, there's a poop cruise
10:40Look, we must go. We must go on the poop cruise
10:43We've done Mexico. We've done the Caribbean. Let's do poop
10:47The itinerary was two days at sea
10:50And then we were going to stop at Cozumel, Mexico
10:53Mexico
10:54Nice
10:55I've been on the, what's it, over to the Isle of Wight
10:57That was bad enough
10:58Then we were going to get back out to sea and have a nice day back to Galveston
11:01It's going to be great
11:02That's it
11:03That's their trip
11:04Okay
11:05So it's only a little short cruise
11:06Yeah, I think this was on the news
11:08When was it?
11:09Quite a while ago
11:10Did you cover it?
11:11I think, I think I vaguely remember this story
11:13I was getting married
11:14It was my bachelorette party
11:16That's quite a good way to have a bachelorette party
11:18A little hen do on a cruise, I think so
11:20We put our luggage down and we went straight up to the bar
11:23Yeah, my girls
11:24They like their drink
11:25They're there for a good time
11:26Yeah
11:27We were supposed to go to some kind of safety briefing
11:29But
11:30That would be so old, wouldn't it?
11:31Sorry, safety what?
11:32I remember being like, we're not going to need this information
11:35Like, what are the chances we need to remember a muster station, right?
11:38Oh, first mistake
11:39Safety first, babes
11:41Yeah, you might darling, have you heard of Titanic?
11:45We were in the sun all day
11:47Oh my God, look at that
11:49Yeah, that's a bit of me that is proper party life
11:51Is that you, Aidan?
11:52That's too hard for me
11:53Drinking cocktails was amazing
11:56Was it?
11:57We're in the sun all day
11:59Drinking cocktails
12:00Eating bottomless food
12:02Who's going to need a muster station?
12:04Something's happening
12:07This looks them
12:08What's going on?
12:09Omnus
12:10Here's the story
12:11Here we go
12:13Uh oh
12:16You don't want to hear that on a cruise, an emergency B
12:18No, you don't want that, do you?
12:19That is Titanic all over
12:20I don't want to hear that noise
12:21It's not like an iceberg, is it?
12:23I don't think there's icebergs off the coast of Mexico
12:26How do you know? You been?
12:29I'm like, oh my God, this is it
12:30This is the Titanic, we're going down
12:32That would be me
12:35I'd be so extra
12:36Once we got up to the Lido deck
12:39The first thing I remember seeing, it's like etched in my brain
12:43Is seeing the big red, thin, there were flames just shooting out of it
12:49What?
12:50Holy shit
12:51This shit is on fire
12:54The captain came over and said, there's a fire in the engine room
12:57Look at that
12:58Jesus
12:59Oh, that is scary
13:00Oh wow, that is scary
13:01Ah
13:02That would be terrifying
13:03And then, the lights go out
13:06Oh
13:08My goodness
13:09You would really be panicking now
13:11I'd be elbowing women and children out of the way to get to the lifeboat
13:14And then, somebody realised that the toilets weren't working
13:18Oh no
13:20Which is, with thousands of guests, a major issue
13:25I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm clockwork in the morning, I'd be in trouble
13:28They're going to have to hang their arses over the edge of the boat
13:31Half jokingly, I was like, well, we can do a number one in the shower
13:35She wants to wean the shower?
13:37No, poo in the shower
13:38No, she said number one
13:39She said number one
13:40Oh, did she? Oh, right
13:43Let's go with that
13:45Pee in the shower
13:46Yeah
13:47I'm with you
13:48Why?
13:49That's worse, surely
13:51Well, it's got somewhere to go, I guess
13:53And then, for the number two
13:56What do they do in the number twos?
13:59And if you do need to do a number two
14:01What we're going to do is we're going to deliver some red bags to all of the bathrooms on board
14:07And if you do need to do a number two, we ask that you please do it in the red bag
14:12Oh, God
14:13That is the right thing to do
14:15And drop it off in the bins, in the corridors
14:18No way
14:19Poo in a bag
14:20Yeah, the poo in a bag and then put it in the corridor
14:22I mean, it's not like you poo ten times a day
14:25You've only got to do one or two a day
14:28Am I wrong?
14:30Am I wrong?
14:31We're starting to smell urine
14:33Yeah
14:34Starting to smell the toilets
14:38Oh, no
14:39They weren't draining
14:41They weren't draining?
14:42Oh, they're blocked up, they're backed up
14:44Yes, the drains don't work
14:46That was a Verve song
14:48Yes
14:49It was everywhere
14:53Oh, no
14:54Oh, that's just disgusting
14:56Oh, no
14:57Someone's had the rubber gloves out
14:58Oh, no
14:59Oh, no
15:00Oh, not the shitty bags in the corridor
15:13as soon as the ship starts pulling in we see people are yelling they have signs for us
15:19oh that's nice i guess someone did instagram about it on the show yeah it was me my soon-to-be
15:27father-in-law we were like shaking hands and hugging and being like we totally made it through
15:33this together didn't we and we didn't have to use a red bag 2013 i survived the poop
15:40if i was like the captain i would have said all blokes piss over the edge
15:47mind you then saying that if your balcony's above someone else and there's a wind yeah
15:51yeah but a lot of people like to get up in the night and do a wee don't they we don't want to
15:59do that on the edge fucking hell imagine that happened to poor jane mcdonald she would have
16:02been lost at sea yeah i wonder if she was on that boat don't you fucking worm no oh yeah
16:07she was housed in the super bowl yeah
16:09in north london how was your holiday babe you know what it was really nice what was it best
16:21friends sarah and claire but i messed up my packing because when i was packing i sort of sorted out
16:27my clothes a bit and i had one that was a charity shop pile and one that was a take on holiday pile
16:33and i accidentally took some of the charity stuff with me so instead of my lovely nice denim shorts
16:39i took a denim skirt from when i was about 25 all the stuff that you can't get into yeah that really
16:45doesn't fit so that was me waddling around the buffet breakfast with a tiny denim skirt on
16:50there's two like a little belt yeah nice apart from that it was perfect lovely
16:55in essex let me tell you what i love doing getting up and driving to your house at four in the morning
17:04to pick you up for our radio show best mates jordan and perry then i sit outside your house for
17:10i don't know 40 minutes ringing you your girlfriend your indoor bell just trying to get your attention
17:15getting no attention uh having to then drive and do the radio show completely on my own until you wake
17:22up after we've been live for an hour and a half and tell me oh sorry i missed my alarm you didn't just
17:28oversleep you missed half your work day and then you come around here and finish the mango i had two bits
17:37this week netflix thrilled us with the final installment of the deadliest show on telly
17:43i'm so excited for squid game i've been waiting i've been waiting too long i've never seen this
17:49oh my goodness what happens they hunt squid no they eat squid
18:00because you could win a few squid is that what it is yeah that's it exactly you win a lot of squid
18:04you know what happened with the first series yeah my daughter who at the time was like 12 yeah we were
18:10sat down to discuss because she wanted to watch it and we sat down and we were like we really don't
18:15think it's suitable we need to talk about whether you should watch it it's very disturbing and she
18:20was like i'm on episode seven and we were like parenting fail parenting fail look away look away
18:26this is going to be interesting because player 222 had a baby in the last episode so god knows what's
18:37going to happen here this is the way they make their way up to the game hall can you get out if you
18:45suddenly don't like the game no oh you can't get out you know you're completely trapped right
18:52she's limping oh my gosh
18:59so he's four five six he's like the main guy he's probably the only one you can trust
19:02is he goody he's goody he's trying to dismantle the whole thing okay
19:08i'll take the kid is she bringing the kid into the game i guess she's got no choice
19:15what's the game what's the game gonna be
19:22oh god oh no the big giant doll thing the game you'll be playing today is double oh no way oh
19:32it's what it's skipping so they're gonna have to stand there why the dolls do that skipping yeah
19:37oh my god oh that's a big swelling oh 222 is not gonna send a chance she can't walk oh yeah a bad leg
19:51this is scary here we go swing that rope it's quite a hard rope as well yes it is
19:56no oh my word oh it's going so fast i hate it in order to continue all players must make it across
20:11the bridge within the time limit okay but that can't include the baby dickhead any player who fails to
20:16do so in the allotted time will be eliminated the baby's a player how she can do that she's got a bad
20:24ankle when she's holding a baby there's no way there's no way she can do it listen we need someone
20:30to step up and go first all right you go we all vote you will you bring her across with you when you go
20:40oh i can't bear it i'm gonna cry he's gotta take the baby she can't jump she's not even gonna save
20:46yourself now and they've got to do it before the crop runs otherwise anyone who's not across gets
20:53killed you could flick flack across you could flick flick across you just gotta time it right
20:58gotta full time your flicks and your flat and your flax
21:05oh just do it he's gonna go he's gonna go he's gonna go go
21:08backy nail oh my god he's doing it oh yes he's doing well
21:21why is he getting down like a little dog well i don't think you're in any position to criticize
21:25his technique frankly i'm not a fan of it though well he's doing fine so far
21:29no jump oh no he's gonna get taken out look he's just stopped oh no no no
21:41oh no that's it he's gone okay who's next
21:52i'll come back for you once we're across
21:54yes he's gonna go next oh he's gonna come back for her oh my goodness excuse me
22:01okay out of my way you squares oh he's going he's going
22:06what's gonna do with the baby yeah you can't jump throw it up in the air and jump catch it
22:11oh the poor baby okay stop crying baby that's not helping
22:28oh my god there's a hole in the middle there's a gap
22:30oh
22:33the gap is diabolical jump jump jump
22:38why are you getting so close i'm nervous jump
22:44yes four five six oh
22:48oh he's over yeah
22:51oh my god that's very tense yeah do you watch that for pleasure yeah i watch that for pleasure yeah
22:56wind down of an evening wind down of an evening watch the squid game
23:00oh
23:07in north london you're right dusty want a crisp steven and his sister anita high five
23:17good girl don't let me eat with your mouth open though i said
23:24high five high five oh is that what you're saying to me oh sorry
23:32yeah imagine if you had to perform every time you wanted a crisp dusty does
23:36on friday gary barlow was having another lovely time down under on itv one hello hello
23:44jose yes very summary of you this is two of our favorite things
23:48australia and gary barlow mhm he sends me his wine does he well he sends me his gary barlow one
23:58yeah he always sends me the wine
24:02nice but thank you nice bottle
24:03nice bottle thank me thank the barlow oh thanks gary barlow i'm starting my queensland adventure
24:10in cuya beach i've been there me and mum went there before you existed oh as usual i have a special
24:17guest with me oh who is it who's your guest gary she's my daughter emily
24:24his daughter's on the telly lovely this trip is the perfect opportunity for some rare and precious
24:32time together it's like bring your daughter to work day did you like that yeah and no one else to
24:39come between us and i knew it was too good to be true oh here we go oh hang on hang on who's this
24:45because emily doesn't want to go anywhere these days oh boyfriend well i hope it's a boyfriend
24:51because otherwise that's a bit friendly for a stranger without her boyfriend marshall that's a
24:55big third wheel for gary oh gary's a gooseberry marshall marshall interesting oh so it's one of
25:02those it's this situation does he approve oh nice in this prehistoric landscape you can never be sure
25:09what weird and wonderful beings will emerge from the undergrowth my son
25:22dad you're beached you're beached what the hell is that a lilo are they about to do a slip and slide
25:28a slip and slide with gary barlow it's just thinking dreams are made of oh that's cold follow me and try
25:34to go head first down the street oh that looks fun crocodiles though would you do that see no
25:42no it's not exactly niagara falls gary christ
25:52then the rapids at center back so you always end up wedged under some random guy some you do
25:57geordie with loads of tattoos like that sorry sorry about that you're all right sorry we're just
26:02going down we'll just go down it we'll just come together for a while i like your tattoo there was
26:06that your son that's very nice that was crazy can we do that again right can we get to the wine
26:13where's the wine gary let's try some chardonnay i've got absolutely no idea where we're going next
26:21okay so what does today hold what's that in his hand is he all right what's happened to him has
26:27he got a walker we're going on a train we're not going on a train he's doing what he's going on a
26:32train oh not a train not a train whatever next what is this another wind up we're going on a train
26:40i'll be really you're kidding me wait what's he excited out gary loves trains oh he's a proper
26:45train he's a train nerd it's 130 years old and it winds through 15 tunnels and 37 bridges what yes
26:56i love it i'm so excited yes how many tunnels let's not miss the train come on the train this way this
27:06way look at him he's running no no he's not really can't wait what's missing in his life that trains
27:11cause so much excitement first class rainforest travel here we go here we go here we go here's
27:19the booze thank god for that cheers everyone cheers what an experience i don't know where to look
27:26it's one of those isn't it just look at marshall just stare at marshall the whole journey just when
27:32you think this journey couldn't get any better go on oh out comes more australian wine oh he's mixing
27:39his grapes oh he'd have such a headache when your wives and some cheesy nibbly wibblies do you like
27:44a cheesy nibbly wibbly stick i just don't want to think about gary barlow's nibbly nibbly nibblies
27:49you've both been very well behaved oh yes so i've got little stickers oh god well done kids
27:55thanks dad well done on to the next adventure let's do it not you marshall
28:00marshall you get back on that you can trade go home i might give you a sticker at the end of the
28:07school run tomorrow sticker well done georgia don't get any crisis i don't love that we don't get
28:12thanked for anything do we baby i want a gary barlow sticker in north london impressed by your lovely
28:19tattoo in honor of your mother are you still bitter well where's mine where's dad on your body what's the
28:24why have you got that no seriously joking aside joking aside when you had that done did you not
28:29think oh i better balance this out honey and a dad jonathan or or is it a kind of subtle dig
28:36or is it like hello world or are you just being a cliche well it's things like that why you haven't
28:42got the tattoo yet where is it where is it it's coming when you've earned yourself it's like when an
28:46angel gets myself what possibly more could i do for you in your life when a father gets his tat i don't
28:52know what more could you do for me and that was a i'm thinking when i figure it out i'll let you know
28:58on friday night channel 4 was treasure hunting again millionaire hoarders this is a bit of you
29:04my people yeah i love any hoarding show because it reminds me to get rid of stuff oh i absolutely
29:11can't i love getting rid of stuff one of my favorite things to go to the tip
29:18i'm a bit of a hoarder you are a bit of a hoarder yeah there's stuff everywhere i know
29:22a collector knows everything they've got they know where it all is and they look after it
29:25a hoarder is a person who just can't stop bringing stuff in and they put it in a room any which way
29:30and it doesn't matter as you know i spent an exhausting day at the weekend
29:34tearing up my collection of small japanese tins curious expert ed he looks like an expert he does
29:41is on his way to meet a collector with a singular passion keys love it keys nice i've got loads of keys
29:47oh like you think that's good yeah then they're beautiful objects aren't they right knightsbridge
29:52sales assistant luigi keeps his collection under lock and key and here we are i don't have keys do
30:01i yeah i won't have them i don't trust you don't trust me to have any keys in the house no you're not
30:06allowed to no last time i counted there was over 600 i was going to say 600 isn't like a massive amount
30:14for hoarder is it that's kind of that's because you're a hoarder and i have spent well over a
30:20hundred thousand pounds in buying them no way i want to be buried with my keys like this is really
30:27i want to take them to my grave well you're gonna have to because nobody else will want them
30:31there's um oh no are you gonna start collecting keys mummy no so large is luigi's key collection
30:40he's finally decided to buy his first house oh he hasn't even got a house he spent it all on keys
30:46and he's planning to create a dedicated key room but he needs to find money from his collection to fund
30:52it sell that big one yeah yeah he might have to sell all the keys oh god i love the way he's displayed
30:59his keys so you've got magnets and they all stand which is great that's impressive
31:05in what way in that he's restored them he's presented them would you go to the key museum
31:10no i wouldn't if you put all those keys on display and you were in some like small town and they said
31:16oh we've got a key museum you can come and see all these keys presented this is the history of keys
31:21would you go and see it no i wouldn't right oh these are superb oh these are the ones i love
31:27wow i get this actually i'm starting to get this you're gonna start collecting keys no but i mean
31:32i'm getting i'm getting why they're amazing they're beautiful things i should be looking at keys no
31:36mummy i should be looking no with more interest it's the bagpipes all over again
31:42mr paperweights i like my little people i like little people i know we've got too many things that
31:49you like already okay okay i mean this key is huge and i mean size does matter our size matters
31:57in keys whoa what would that even open gary barlow's son's bedroom this one i could i noticed this
32:05because you could see the royal stamp there's a royal key there okay yeah there you go and royal
32:12highness princess augusta and queen victoria was actually a niece of princess augusta that's nice
32:18that see that is a key i don't matter i prefer that one to the big old german one she lived at
32:23claren's house she would have then used this key to visit the gardens at st james's park oh snap very
32:30cool that's sick isn't it crazy back then they never would have known they would have ended up in luigi's
32:35flat back at the auction house with oliver impressed with the keys and keen to sell them
32:42ed needs to talk numbers come on ed we'll start with the german strong box
32:502 800 for the big one and then we've got the princess augusta one that alone cost me 2 200 euros when i
32:58cutches he denied his face well when he said i spent 2 200 euros he went what what did you mad the only
33:07person who's going to buy these is an ab is another version of him so for this big strong box key what
33:12would you put as an estimate going into the auction you'd probably put a low estimate on it sort of two
33:18to four hundred pounds huh oh what no no he's not gonna he's not gonna do that he's not gonna do that
33:27and i think this would probably make in the region of 700. oh no moving on to this princess key what
33:36would be a value for that oliver okay we still got the princess key okay i would say we're looking
33:40at a thousand to two thousand pounds at auction that's a bit better oh maybe terrible then i've
33:45got a bad feeling about this i don't think luigi's gonna be paying for his key really but i would like
33:50to think it would really take off but it's a risk luigi was done dirty there poor luigi he just wants
33:56his key money i remember as a child being dragged around antique shops well i remember being dragged
34:03around soft clay come on through the rollers mommy i love antique shopping yeah you but you don't just
34:13love antique shopping you buy those creepy like victorian pictures you've got a couple of them
34:18but your eyes seem to follow you around the room oh a couple one yeah nothing wrong with like a little
34:23canvas of a buddha head from home sense that's what i go for that's me stick one of them in the
34:28downstairs lou it's it's heartier it's got a bit more feeling you know it's been in like someone
34:33else's home yeah is that it's called being haunted no yeah i'm not getting my house haunted by your
34:39creepy ghost pictures okay well that's why you have mirrored furniture
34:53in birmingham do you know what i've got what what you got it's been so hot recently that's bad um i've
35:00got these at home what is that the fans look alison her son aiden and her sister sandra oh you put
35:07them around your neck you put you can put but this this one that was huge look at the size of it yeah
35:11but look it twists it's really really good look you can have it anywhere and that noise you know when
35:16you can't see yeah turn it on feel that you can have one up there i need that just like i just
35:27see where's the other one well wherever you want it on friday night channel four turned up the heat
35:34with another toe curling trip to the open house what are we watching now sex come on i'm so excited for
35:42this sexy time come on it's basically loads of up for it people go to a house and bang
35:50nice house it's a great house if you're gonna have sex in a house go there do it in that one
35:54how are you with sex well do you like it i think i'm rather splendid at it yeah in my own opinion
35:59i mean it's brief but it's enjoyable that's all you need heading to the retreat our married couple
36:05hairdresser tanya and window cleaner ashley from leaves okay all right classic window cleaner
36:12look
36:18tanya brought up the idea of an open relationship and letting other women join us
36:22which was a bit of a shock at first i didn't know if it was like a trap
36:27he goes like shred carefully boy he's like i would never do that
36:34i couldn't i mean if it's gonna make you happy
36:38tanya and ashley have been having sex with other people for five years
36:44years oh i say how do they get in have you got underwear that looks like that is that underwear
36:50i think so okay i have a lot of ribbons i could probably make that out of my art and crafts draw
36:55so we're coming in to venture off our own separate ways to have sex separately from each other oh right
37:02so now having done everything together now it's doing it apart it's so dangerous this game isn't
37:08i would be so nervous right now would you yeah so obviously there's always a worry about rejection
37:12but i'm hoping that that doesn't actually happen oh can you find someone she sort of goes off and i
37:18just sit in the room clock watching waiting to come back will be pretty horrible oh no he's struggling
37:24and i feel sorry for him already i'm worried he's going to be sat there with a word search
37:28and a cup of cocoa while she's off i've been you know the time of her life yeah
37:35how are you going have fun see you soon oh god are you going go on hey go on off you go let mommy
37:44have some fun this is gonna work out quite badly i think right see you back here in half an hour yeah
37:49or not or not how are you i'm good a bit nervous i'm olivia it's lovely to meet you is tanya like
37:57your comfort blanket yep yeah it's not very sexy though is it that the nervousness i mean it's
38:02relatable and i'm definitely that person but if you're looking to go upstairs to the west wing and
38:07get banged you're not going to be looking to him are you my husband too he's in there and i'm like where
38:13is he oh so her husband's in there and talking to his wife right is she asking me back is it potentially
38:22yeah i'm interested i'm definitely yeah i'm not gonna reject i'm not gonna reject you no because
38:27if you do honestly i'll hunt you down no no no oh look at him yeah i want to go and give ashley
38:33a hug now that may be misinterpreted within that environment in the context see you soon oh my god
38:41oh my god see you soon oh listen each to their own but he clearly ain't into this no she was out
38:48of there like a rat up a drain pipe all right yeah i'm good how are you i'm good it's got all really
38:53quiet oh she's sweet she's sweet so this is the bloke's wife oh plot twist this prosecco's nice that was
39:02his chat prosecco's nice yeah i wonder if you wanted to go spend a bit more time together
39:11yeah i would like to get to know you more that's good to her yeah yeah come on ash come on ash do
39:17the best thank you my shoes off yeah take your shoes off let's get let's get comfortable mommy there's
39:21cameras i mean there's cameras everywhere are we gonna we're not we're not are we we're not are they
39:27gonna don't have fun we can go to the earth if the earth's available the earth oh what is a
39:34yurt i think it's like a i thought it's where you milked goats oh it's nice oh it's a nice yurt
39:42it's a sort of glamping like peter stringy fellow's bedroom or we've gone camping yeah don't say you've
39:48got a fever or something you are good yep oh ash it's unbearable i can't bear this
39:56meanwhile of course gage has brought a blindfold with him hasn't he absolutely
40:12oh no it's a bit near the mark now isn't it
40:29no
40:29whoa she's twerking where's our guy come on man i swear if we cut if we go back to this year and
40:47they're just eating pond bears and having a chat i'm not gonna be happy it better be a mess in there
40:51it better be it better be she can't be doing our guy like that man do you have pineapple pizza no
40:58no no pineapple pizza do you have pineapple on your pizza pineapple pizza
41:05oh ash right shall we get this awkwardness out of the way because this is making me cringy
41:12yeah yeah yeah oh it's dripping just take it off
41:16do you ever have it come on ash oh we're not gonna see some awkward sex now come on stuff her crust
41:30oh good luck to them both it's a happy ending yeah in more ways than one
41:35very much so always great to watch with your sister
41:40in south london so this morning i played netball did you yeah you slipped that one in the morning
41:47good friends fern and georgia i like the idea of the bib the bibs bring the bib back yeah i love
41:54a netball bib yeah come and play i used to be yeah you should come and play i would either do i would
42:00either do goal attack sometimes it's center when the really fast girl wasn't in yeah yeah i like center
42:07i mean that is that's a lot of running it's a lot of running about can you shoot
42:10a bit rusty yeah i just need to put a bit of time into practicing that yeah then maybe
42:19well listen you work on that okay sure and when you've done that then you can come play a match
42:23with me and yeah we'll lose together i'm just there for the bib literally there for the bib
42:28on sunday night we all gathered in a field to see a rock legend on bbc one i'm really sad i didn't get
42:35tickets this year really yeah because it's glastonbury i've got no idea why any sensible
42:43right-thinking human being would want to inflict that on themselves wow not fun you must be fun i hate it
42:50i'd love to go to glastonbury i'm gonna do it one day did you enjoy my we're not a glastonbury party
42:59yeah i really did much more than i would have done glastonbury i thought that yeah well all right
43:02then it is time for the iconic glastonbury legend slot oh my god the legend slot is the legend
43:10is it an eight-year-old man who's the legend this year it's a legend it's ross stewart isn't it oh
43:20oh there it is geez he looks good doesn't he great isn't he like 18 go on rod
43:30why are you standing up over there because i'm listening to it can't fit it down
43:38he does look like man don't he yeah yeah he does a bit do you know what i love about a rock star of this
43:43era yeah go on is that they've just stuck with the same haircut like hats off i can do it i'm changing
43:48my haircut every two minutes these guys committed
43:55this is maggie man oh hang on a second what maggie may who's that
44:06please don't make the crowd sing that's what you know you've made it when you don't actually have to
44:10sing here we go what are you doing where you going it's late september and i'm back at school
44:19hey can you sit down i've never heard of it this song no what do you mean i've never heard it how
44:24have you avoided maggie may throughout the last 40 years i don't like the feel of you i can feel you
44:40thrusting behind me it's not nice i had sausage and mash with rod stewart did you yeah he loves sausages
44:45them that did you know i didn't know that yeah he does he loves them how about that yeah you stole my
44:51soul but i love you anyway hey i could be there on someone's shoulders swaying that'd be nice could
45:01you have me on your shoulder zone no
45:03what's happened he's forgotten the words what what what what happened there he's forgotten the words
45:15no bro that's his age he's having a senior moment
45:19he's so hot and tired poor rod don't play him he's playing guitar him oh my god
45:34no don't you're embarrassing yourself now oh come on rod
45:42i've got my crocs on too
45:49i've never seen your face that's a lot of work no he's amazing he's amazing he's amazing
45:59also he looks like he looks better at 80 than i do at 64. yeah you just agree with me
46:09ain't that lovely old and young green everyone together well done rod
46:14well done i mean i have to say it's pretty impressive for he's 80 an 80 year old i'm just
46:23not sure it's necessary
46:28well it's definitely maybe the best day ever for oasis fans out there to mark the start of their
46:34reunion watch liam and nile recount their rise to household name in supersonic tomorrow night at
46:3910. next tonight here on channel 4 little by little are friends helping all the lovers out there
46:44the search for something electric continues with a new series of first dates