- 6/9/2025
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00I know I've said this a few times before, but this is my greatest invention ever.
00:18The Neutronic Sick Patch, guaranteed to get you out of school for the day.
00:30Don't worry, Goddard. Watch this.
00:35Jimmy! Hurry up or you'll be late for school.
00:42Oh, Jimmy, you poor baby. You're sick as a dog.
00:46You get into bed this minute.
00:49But, Mom, I gotta go to school.
00:54You're not going anywhere, young man.
00:57Will you be all right staying here by yourself today?
01:00Like, I guess so.
01:10It doesn't get me better than this.
01:19Here's today's homework, Jimmy.
01:22Gee, you look really sick.
01:25Yeah. You look like you have berry berry fever.
01:29Have you been eating any berries that were foaming at the mouth?
01:33Actually, guys, I'm not sick.
01:37The Neutronic Sick Patch.
01:39You're only sick when you wear it.
01:40So your parents let you miss school.
01:42When they're gone, you take it off and...
01:45The party begins!
01:47I want one. Pass me. Pass me.
01:48I want cholera.
01:50Snip right up, gentlemen.
01:52Hey!
01:52What about us, Neutron?
01:54Sounds like you finally invented something useful.
01:57We want patches.
01:58I'd like one to match my eyes.
02:00Okay.
02:01But don't tell anybody else.
02:05I want a sick patch.
02:06No school for me!
02:08Patch! Patch! Patch!
02:10Patch! Patch! Green!
02:13Patch!
02:15This is terrible.
02:18Teaching is the only thing that keeps me alive.
02:23How do clouds create rain, Carl?
02:26Oh, well, when the clouds get very sad, they cry.
02:33No, Carl, Jimmy!
02:36Water vapor condenses on a particle called a condensation nucleus.
02:40Gotta blast!
02:42Very good, Jimmy!
02:45I miss them all so much!
02:48Except Shane!
02:51How's it going, guys?
02:54Oh, man, this is so sweet!
02:57I love you, Jimmy!
02:59Doesn't get any better than me!
03:01Hi, Jimmo, how you feeling?
03:03You know, you missed two days of school, and I don't want your brain to rot, so guess what?
03:07I'm gonna homeschool you!
03:10But, uh, don't you have to go to work?
03:12Nope, I took the whole week off.
03:14Now, what do we do first?
03:15No, let's do math!
03:17You know, too numbery.
03:19Let's start with biology.
03:21All right, now.
03:22The heart goes beat, beat, beat, and the red gooey stuff goes into the...
03:26You might want to pay attention here.
03:28You never know when you're gonna be quizzed.
03:34Relax, Cindy.
03:35Only 678 more needles to go.
03:38Yeah!
03:39This is the same plastic bubble that my father put me in for 14 happy years.
03:44Hey there, bubba boy!
03:47Relax, baby. It's only a little wasp.
03:51Your great-great-great-grandmother used wasps to cure everything.
03:54Then why don't you dig her up and let it sting her?
03:57I'm sorry, Mama.
03:58All right!
03:59The old pepper-up-the-nose cure!
04:02I love it! Bring it on!
04:04Your hip bone's connected to your...
04:07Your bone next to it.
04:08Bat bone's connected to the...
04:10Jimmy, what's the bone in your knee?
04:11This one right here?
04:12I can't take it anymore!
04:13It's time for this kid to get well.
04:15Get down, bend the knee, bend the knee, and touch the sky!
04:20Your sick patch dissolved into my skin, Nerdtron.
04:34Jimmy, my patch pulled a Houdini.
04:37Cure me or face the consequences.
04:40I don't wanna be a bubba boy.
04:43Okay, okay, settle down.
04:45I can fix it.
04:46Carl, Sheen, sneak out and meet me in the you-know-what.
04:49Now the sick patch is dissolved into our bloodstream.
04:54We'll be sick forever unless I can extract some mitochondria
04:57from the virus and make a vaccine.
04:59To do that, two of us will have to shrink to microbe size
05:02and travel inside one of you guys.
05:05I volunteer!
05:07Carl, to be the person we go inside of.
05:09I second the...
05:10Hey, wait a minute!
05:13Uh, Jimmy?
05:15Is this legal?
05:17In some states, depends what you mean by illegal.
05:21Let's go!
05:23Goddard, activate Shriek Ray and commence Shriek Edge!
05:35Wow!
05:36We are so small!
05:38Let us begin our fantastic journey to the center of Carl.
05:45Um, if you guys find anything neat inside me, would you bring it back so I could see it?
05:51See it?
05:54You're late, you're late, you're late, you're late!
05:56Ow!
05:58Hey, Carl!
05:59You need to do some excavating in here!
06:02Hey, guys!
06:04That tickles!
06:08Carl!
06:09Do not sneeze!
06:10Sorry, Pete!
06:11Do not sneeze!
06:12Sorry!
06:19Look!
06:20There's Carl's brain!
06:21Where?
06:22I don't see it.
06:23Is it behind that wand on a stick?
06:25Um...
06:26Well...
06:27Actually...
06:28Um...
06:29I got people inside me!
06:31I got people inside me!
06:32I got people inside me!
06:34And they're walking in my brain!
06:37Hey, Jimmy!
06:38Look!
06:39It's that thing that you see in cartoons that people always punch like a punching bag!
06:43I'm gonna take a whack at it!
06:44No, no, no!
06:45See!
06:46If you touch Carl's, you'll be like, he'll blow up!
06:47Phew!
06:48Thanks, Jim!
06:49I owe you one!
06:50So where do we go...
06:51Ah!
06:54Hey!
06:55You guys taste pretty good!
06:58We've reached our destination!
07:04The stomach!
07:06Man...
07:07Carl eats a lot of junk, doesn't he?
07:10Hey, Carl!
07:11You're supposed to play with the toys and the silly meals, not eat them!
07:15I know...
07:16But they always look so colorful and chewy!
07:19That germ has to be around here somewhere!
07:22Be careful those gas bubbles, Sheed!
07:24You don't want to get trapped in one of...
07:26Hey!
07:27Get me out of here!
07:28There's a germ!
07:29I have to extract the mitochondria before it gets away!
07:33I have a very bad feeling about this!
07:40Germ attack!
07:41I saw that movie!
07:42The special effects were third-rate!
07:43But the acting was better than I expected!
07:44I gave it a thumbs-up!
07:45Sheed, you have to extract the other germs while I get the mitochondria out!
07:46Okay, but I better get some kind of award for this!
07:47Hey, germs!
07:48Over here, looky-looky!
07:49It's not working!
07:50Do something else!
07:51How about some impressions?
07:52Anything!
07:53Okay, I'll be back!
07:54Here's Johnny!
07:55You dirty rat!
07:56That's all, folks!
07:57Do you do anything besides impressions?
07:58I used to dance in my younger days!
07:59The dance!
08:00Shake it, shake it, shake it!
08:09We got questions, shay it!
08:12Ooh, ooh, ooh!
08:16you dirty rat that's all folks do you do anything besides impressions i used to dance in my younger
08:30try something else what am i a three ring circus that's all i got wait i have an idea germs are
08:37attracted to saline which exists in tears she start crying how am i supposed to cry right now
08:44i don't cry i'm a man pretend that all of your lord just got cancelled
08:51why is the world so cool
09:09how do we get out of here through the nearest exit
09:14uh do you have a plan b perhaps oh we could always pull a pinocchio you're gonna turn to puppets
09:21no but if we had something to make carl sneeze like the whale and pinocchio we'd get out
09:25that's my dad always says when it's out break out the pepper
09:30uh
09:36uh
09:39prepare for bodily injection at hyper sneeze speed
09:43simi told me not to sneeze must find it
09:48fight
09:50losing
09:50oh
09:59did you guys bring me a souvenir now i can cure everybody and we can go back to school
10:05could i take a shower first
10:07i can't believe i'm saying this but i'm glad to be back in school i'm never getting sick again
10:17that wasp thing really hurt one little sting try 678 needles and then talk to me about pain
10:26no more leeches mama no more leeches mama no more leeches mama
10:29it's so good to have you all back now i'd like you to meet a new student
10:36please give a nice warm friendly welcome to yentl marmalstein
10:42hi i oh sorry i have a cold
10:49no
10:51keep her away from us unclean unclean
10:54sanctuary sanctuary
11:01i think they like you
11:12the great outdoors no this is what it's all about fresh air clean
11:25dirt nothing to depend on but your own sweat and toil
11:29hey honey come on put your back into it
11:32okay dear all packed thanks sugar booger oh this is gonna be the best camping trip ever
11:40boys are you ready to move out um jimmy not that no tv and ticks in your sleeping bag isn't fun but
11:48why do we have to go camping with you because if you don't i'll be forced to publish these photos of
11:54you guys playing with pomona beach debbie dolls pomona beach debbie is an action figure she possesses
12:00super mutant powers which can defeat any adversary except ultra lord of course i like the pretty bathing
12:05suits what is it insect repellent a compass toilet paper these frilly luxuries will just weigh us down
12:13hugh are you sure you know what you're doing of course i do don't forget i was an acorn land
12:18i remember everything i've ever learned you like the song that we used to sing we are the acorn lads
12:26something something the acorn lads come on goddard
12:30no no technology at all on this trip today we pit our neutron hardy hood against the savage wild
12:45man and boy against nature come on boys sing it with me we are acorn lads
12:53something something bye bye alone at last come on goddard let's break out the cookie dough and watch
13:01gladiator movies and forever will be something
13:12well look here we are dad this isn't the campground yeah campgrounds are for tenderfoot's jimbo what with
13:20their fancy run water and first aim kids and adequate lighting oh no we're headed deep into the
13:26untamed wild jimmy your dad is beginning to scare me don't worry guys i worked all last night on a very
13:34special invention we won't be roughing it on this camping trip come on boys follow me into this mosquito
13:40infested boy
14:10okay wait a minute this is the fourth time we've been through this bog dad i think we're lost
14:25lost are we oh no this is my own secret campsite or close it up it's got trees and rocks and stuff yeah
14:35you boys set up camp i go bring back fire see you later bye-bye okay here's the plan when he gets
14:43back carl you hit him over the head with the coconut and now i'll go for his legs no need sheen i told
14:48you we're not gonna rough it on this trip behold the remarkable simplicity that is the neutron camp in a
14:55box well how are we gonna fit in there it's every convenience you could wish for in a stark wilderness
15:02setting observe
15:10wow cool
15:14oh all right
15:18good evening sir may i bring you something who's that oh that's just rayburn he's a holographic butler
15:25i programmed into the campsite may i suggest for the young masters a 72 purple flurp with a plate of hot
15:33wings and a video game are these outdoors great or what
15:40whoa i've never felt more at one with nature
15:44come on come on spark will you must make fire no it's no use
16:00i've tried everything rocks moss even this highly combustible dirt i just
16:04can't get anything to spark maybe my backwood skills aren't what they used to be i wait a minute
16:12what's all the hubbub hey jimmy if your battle is just a hologram how come you can make us chuckle sundays
16:20and stuff he's composed of specially solidified photons you can pick them up at any hardware store
16:25well his pork tartare is out of this world jimbo what have you done dad you're back already i can
16:34no need son i can see for myself you did a great job setting up this campsite oh i did well a little
16:42flashy for my taste but it looks like you got the old wilderness genes after all good evening sir may
16:49i bring you something jimbo who's the shimmery guy um he's a park ranger he helped us set up well i
16:56would suggest you'll not poke me sir you'll disrupt my phasing but what the wait a minute he's one of
17:03your hologrammy thingies isn't he oh now i get it you said all this abusing technology jimbo i am
17:10very disappointed in you but you said i could set up camp yeah neutron doesn't need fancy gadgets to
17:17survive in the wild i'm sorry son but this stuff is gonna have to go no buts young man now yeah how
17:26do i turn all this stuff off you'd have to remove the power pack sir just under the soda bar
17:33dad wait the reactor of course removing the power pack while the core is still active will lead to a
17:39catastrophic meltdown in five four three run run will you be needing anything else sir
17:52more camp more equipment everything's gone
17:56we're doomed all right now calm down i know what you're all thinking this is jimmy's fault but don't
18:03worry i could still use my wilderness skills to get all of us home safely but dad it's almost
18:09too dark to see the trail a true camper doesn't trust his eyes jimbo he goes by pure animal instinct this
18:17way lads
18:31the truth is i'm a rotten camper there i said it
18:59the other acorn lands used to dunk my head in the bud juice
19:03i can't even make a stupid fire oh don't worry dad we'll find a way out of this i don't care if
19:10you're a mediocre camper i still think you're a great dad thanks son i i needed to hear that so you
19:17couldn't even make a fire oh no it's starting the gnawing hunger must resist desire for human flesh
19:30hey wait a minute carl but that didn't sound like your stomach
19:47it's a dead end we'll have to make a stand right here boys
20:17who knew it would end like this trapped between these bright yellow rocks and these clear sparkly ones
20:23yellow why that's sulfur and this is phosphorus dad that's it we can still save ourselves by
20:29making a fire from the natural elements around us yeah but jimmy i can't i don't know
20:36car and dad you're the only one who can save us we'll distract the bear
20:39yeah
20:48come on
20:50hey back back give way for i you neutron have made fire
21:03dad you did it behold bear
21:05there i am man the pointy tip of the food chain gaze upon my opposable thumbs and trouble
21:14yeah they hate it when you mention the thumbs
21:27goddard
21:31oh there you are boy
21:36how did you know to come save us goddard detected the high levels of radiation from when your box
21:41exploded good thing i implanted a homing chip under your father's skin or i never would have been
21:46able to find you oh yeah that darn thing still itches me
21:52that was the best camping trip ever
21:55it's just like i intended our little nature experience
21:59experience has brought us all closer together yeah we ought to rough it more often
22:03your diet's flurp sir
22:05oh i love the outdoors
22:29your diet's flurp sir
22:47oh
22:52hi i'm paul
22:55got a blast
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