- 6/9/2025
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TVTranscript
00:00And so, in 1851, physicist John Foucault hung a pendulum from a 200-foot wire,
00:18much as I've done here, and proved the Earth revolves.
00:23Um, excuse me, Miss Fowle.
00:24Might I suggest that in the future, oral reports should be shorter than the life of the person thereabout?
00:30Speed it up, Jimmy.
00:32Because the Earth's rotating beneath the pendulum,
00:35any moment now, the first domino will move in front of it and be knocked over.
00:41Cool.
00:42When's it going to knock over another one?
00:44In exactly one hour.
00:46Aw.
00:48Fifteen seconds, Jimmy.
00:50Okay, he was born for...
00:51Five, four, three, two, one. Time's up.
00:54Nick? Your report, please.
00:59Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick!
01:03Could I, uh, get some atmospheric lighting here?
01:09In July 97, three normal kids from our town heading home from an all-night swim meet
01:15decided to take a shortcut through the theme park, so they hopped the fence.
01:20They may have heard the rumors, but they were all too smart to believe in.
01:26The victim of Retro Land.
01:28Oh.
01:30Everybody knows about the Phantom.
01:32He wears a long black cape.
01:35He has a generous salami for a right leg.
01:38And he stalks the park after dark, looking for victims to eat.
01:42Oh.
01:43Here's an artist's drawing of what he looks like.
01:47None of them were ever seen again.
01:49Oh.
01:51That's my history report.
01:54Okay.
01:55In the first place,
01:56whoever heard of an all-night swim meet?
01:59Secondly,
02:00how do we know Billy's alleged last words
02:02if no one ever saw him again?
02:04And if Mr. Phantom's so hungry,
02:05why doesn't he just eat his salami leg?
02:07The whole thing's a myth, an urban legend.
02:10How small-minded can you be
02:12to try to ruin someone else's
02:14well-researched and fascinating report?
02:16Yeah, there you go.
02:17Excuse me?
02:19Isn't a basic rule of history
02:20supposed to be that it's about stuff that,
02:22oh, I don't know,
02:24actually happened?
02:26Jimmy, your rambling was really cool and everything,
02:29but are you sure you're not?
02:30I don't know, maybe a little jealous?
02:31Because Mr. Four-Four-Paw never ate nobody?
02:37Every thinking person knows
02:40the Phantom's just a fable.
02:42Oh, obsess, why don't ya?
02:44You're only putting down Nick
02:45because despite all your logic,
02:46you're just as scared of the Phantom
02:48as everyone else.
02:50No kid who goes to Retroland after midnight
02:53has ever been seen again.
02:56That is so patently ridiculous,
02:59it doesn't even deserve to be...
03:00What?
03:01A 600-page report
03:02on how ridiculous it is in French?
03:04So, Neutron,
03:06I guess you wouldn't be afraid
03:08to go to the park at midnight.
03:10You know, say,
03:11if I was to the triple dog,
03:13dare you?
03:14Don't do it, Jimmy!
03:15With you dead,
03:16I'll be picked last in volleyball!
03:18Fine.
03:19I'll go tonight.
03:21And I'll be in class tomorrow!
03:23Completely unharmed.
03:24How will we know you were really there?
03:26Because I'll take Sheen and Carl
03:28as witnesses!
03:30Sheen,
03:31the Phantom of Retroland's
03:32gonna rip us limb from limb
03:34and eat us!
03:34Say something!
03:36Kevin, notice how Jimmy's hair
03:38is like one of those gum massager things?
03:39It's all swirly and...
03:41What?
03:44Would you like some more milk
03:45to help you get to sleep?
03:47Oh, no thanks, Mom.
03:49I find it more soothing
03:50to mentally calculate
03:52the Merton's function
03:53for all integers
03:54through 10
03:54to the 30th power.
03:56I list all the types of pie
03:58in alphabetical order
03:59starting, of course,
04:00with cherry.
04:01Uh, what about apple, dear?
04:03Oh, I forgot apple!
04:05Oh, and blueberry!
04:06Blueberry!
04:06And boysenberry,
04:07banana cream,
04:08banana coconut,
04:08Boston cream,
04:10um, black forest,
04:11oh, my chocolate marmalade,
04:12um, big cherry,
04:14black cherry,
04:15uh...
04:15Activate hologram projector!
04:23Image select.
04:26And skip to Jimmy asleep.
04:31Dear Jimmy,
04:51I can't come with you tonight
04:52as I have decided
04:53to join the French Foreign Legion.
04:55This is a decision
04:56I do not make lightly
04:57as I ha...
04:58Hi, Jimmy.
05:00I thought you said
05:0111.30.
05:02Well, you'd have surely
05:03been on a plane
05:04to Algeria by then, Carl.
05:17Glad you could make it, Sheen.
05:18How'd you sneak out?
05:19Oh, I just told my grandma
05:20that I had to go
05:21to a deserted theme park
05:22to be eaten by a maniac.
05:23She told me
05:24to wear clean underwear.
05:25Let's hop the fence.
05:26Hop the...
05:27Oh, gee, sorry.
05:29I can't, Jim.
05:30You know,
05:30some people can't whistle.
05:32Some people can't snap
05:33their fingers.
05:34Well, I can't hop.
05:37So darn it,
05:38I guess I'll have to go home.
05:39But...
05:40It's an expression, Carl.
05:42We're going through the fence
05:43thanks to my oxidation accelerator.
05:46Voila!
05:47The equivalent
05:47of 200 years of rust.
05:49Oh, Mr. Phantom!
06:02Woo-hoo!
06:03Casey children,
06:05right here!
06:06But you...
06:06Don't, Jimmy!
06:08It's one minute to midnight.
06:09Where are you?
06:12Maybe he's on
06:13daylight maniac time.
06:15What's that?
06:16My autograph book?
06:18The Phantom's going
06:19right here next to Mike Dapp
06:20and Santa Claus.
06:22Hey, wait a minute!
06:28Strangest thing.
06:29The gymster's in his room,
06:30but so is his playground.
06:32Oh, I keep telling him
06:33to empty his socks
06:34before he comes home.
06:35No, no, no, monkey pants.
06:37I'm talking about
06:37his entire playgrounds
06:39in his room.
06:39I wonder what order
06:46he'll eat us in.
06:47She's kidding, Carl.
06:49No one's going to eat us.
06:52Three, two, one...
06:54Midnight!
06:56Ha!
06:57We did it!
06:58We took a hypothesis,
06:59constructed a scientific protocol,
07:01and conclusively
07:02proved it false.
07:03Take that,
07:04neck and all of your ilk!
07:06You know what I smell, Jimmy?
07:08Victorious, truth rising
07:10above the ashes
07:11of superstition?
07:12No.
07:13So are me.
07:16Ah!
07:18Stand your ground!
07:19It's obviously a trick!
07:21Could you sign us
07:22to sheen with admiration
07:23and affection, please?
07:24Ah!
07:27Ha!
07:27Ha!
07:27Ha!
07:28Ha!
07:28Ha!
07:29Ha!
07:29Ha!
07:29Ha!
07:30Ha!
07:30Ha!
07:30Ha!
07:31Ha!
07:31Ha!
07:32He's not real!
07:33He's a mythical construct!
07:35Hey, better safe
07:36than swallowing, Jimmy!
07:37Oh, he'll just climb in!
07:44Not if we're moving!
07:53Ha-ha!
07:54Try and get us now,
07:56Mr. Deli-Item-Leg!
07:57Uh, Sheen?
07:58What?
07:59It's only a three-minute ride.
08:01Ha-ha-ha!
08:03Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
08:05Wow.
08:06Usually when I get
08:07on these kind of rides,
08:09I get real sick.
08:12Me!
08:13Never mind.
08:15Ugh.
08:16Looks like I have to
08:17show you how a myth
08:18fares when it faces
08:19the withering light
08:20of science.
08:21How?
08:22I'm going to repeat
08:23Foucault's
08:23classic experiment.
08:25And what?
08:25Bore him to death?
08:27Goddard!
08:27Laser beams!
08:28Cut the guardrails
08:29off the ride's axes!
08:39What is this ride
08:40if not a giant pendulum?
08:42Now that it's
08:43swinging freely,
08:44the Earth will
08:44slowly rotate beneath it.
08:47Ha-ha!
08:48So?
08:49So, imagine
08:50Mr. Phantom's
08:51a domino!
08:52Oh!
08:53Oh!
08:53Oh!
08:54Oh!
08:54Oh!
08:55Oh!
08:55Oh!
08:55Oh!
08:56Oh!
08:56Oh!
08:57Oh!
08:57Oh!
08:58Oh!
08:59Oh!
09:01Ha-ha!
09:02Let's see how
09:02scary the Phantom
09:03is now.
09:05Ugh.
09:05Ew.
09:06What's that smell?
09:08Shoe burf.
09:09Sorry.
09:10Hey.
09:10Hey.
09:11I know that voice.
09:13Nick!
09:14I should've known.
09:16Boy, you really
09:16showed him.
09:18Wham!
09:18Now let's beat it
09:19before the real
09:20Phantom shows up.
09:21Sheen,
09:21there is no
09:22real Phantom.
09:23I beg
09:25to differ.
09:27Ah!
09:27What's that smell?
09:30You mean
09:30your salami leg,
09:31his salami leg,
09:32or Carl's shoes?
09:34Ah!
09:35Ah!
09:36Ah!
09:36Ah!
09:40It's only
09:41Cindy and Libby.
09:43But why?
09:44Why?
09:45Because nobody
09:46likes a smug,
09:47smart-alecky,
09:48badly-quaffed,
09:49other-person's-class-report-ruining
09:50know-it-all.
09:52Everybody knows
09:52the stupid Phantom's
09:53a myth.
09:54Only you
09:55would ruin
09:55everyone's fun
09:56by being so pedantic
09:57about it.
09:58Ah!
09:58Leaving so soon.
10:00Ah!
10:02What's that smell?
10:04You mean
10:04your salami leg,
10:05their salami leg,
10:06his salami leg,
10:07or Carl's shoes?
10:08All right!
10:09Whoever you are,
10:11the joke's over.
10:13Ah!
10:13Ah!
10:13Ah!
10:15Ah!
10:15Jimmy,
10:18you're all about
10:18science!
10:19Ah!
10:20Science?
10:21Science!
10:21Run for your life!
10:24Oh, that'll teach
10:25that little Dickens
10:26to use his hologram
10:27projector
10:28to sneak out
10:28after bedtime.
10:29Let's go,
10:30Hugh.
10:30Gummy!
10:31Hey,
10:31booger in my eye!
10:32I think I got them all!
10:34Every single pie
10:35between apple and cherry.
10:36Look at my list!
10:37What about
10:37blackberries?
10:38Ow!
10:39Blackberries,
10:39sure.
10:40Tip of the cap there,
10:41Mr. Phantom-Faced
10:41Terrifying Guy.
10:43Ah!
10:44Hey, Jimmy!
11:00Are you in there?
11:03I brought my new
11:04hamster,
11:04Mr. Woggles,
11:05over.
11:06Want to see him?
11:07He's so cute!
11:12Ah!
11:14Kind of busy, Carl.
11:21I'm working on
11:21my new
11:21teleportation pods.
11:23When they're finished,
11:23I'll be able to
11:24transmit my atoms
11:25between any two points
11:26in an instant.
11:27Ooh!
11:28Pretty light!
11:31I can explore
11:31a volcano in Hawaii,
11:33build a snowman
11:34in Iceland,
11:34and be back
11:35in time for lunch.
11:37Hand me that
11:37plasma wrench,
11:38will you, Carl?
11:39Oh, sure thing, Jim.
11:40I can't see him.
11:57Carl!
11:57Carl, could you please
11:59control your hamster?
12:00Mr. Woggles,
12:01no!
12:02Woggles, woggles, woggles,
12:03woggles, woggles!
12:04Ah!
12:04Ah!
12:04Don't tell the others,
12:14but you're my favorite.
12:17Hugh!
12:18Oh, hi, honey.
12:19Are you going to spend
12:20the entire day
12:21with your duck collection?
12:23Just a minute,
12:23Dough Dumpling.
12:24I'm finishing up
12:25the flock's monthly
12:25fluff and buff.
12:27Well, I'm going shopping.
12:28Why don't you spend
12:29some quality time
12:30with Jimmy?
12:30It could be a special
12:32father-son day.
12:33That's a great idea.
12:36I used to have those
12:36with my auntie
12:37all the time.
12:38Only, we call them
12:40Auntie Nephew Days,
12:41but it's probably
12:41the same basic idea.
12:43We could go to the park.
12:44We could eat cheese.
12:46We could even go
12:47to Retro Land.
12:48I love those
12:49zigzaggy lines.
12:50They're so not straight.
12:52Oh, Hugh.
12:56Okay.
12:57Nice hamster.
13:00Now, one last adjustment
13:02on the Gouanac land
13:03moves in the spring.
13:11Oh, boy.
13:12Woo!
13:14Woo!
13:24Woo!
13:28Women's pointing to him, won't let him play with him.
13:35Jimmy, Jimbo, are you in there, Scout?
13:48Jimmy, your head's furry and animal-like.
13:52It looks soft, though.
13:53I was going to take you to Retroland,
13:56but maybe we should call your mother.
13:59Okay, all right, easy, I get it, I get it.
14:02It's just another one of your crazy experiments, isn't it?
14:05It'll wear off, right?
14:08One twitch for yes, two twitches for no.
14:11Get careful now, don't gnaw on this shirt.
14:25Man, I'm putting on weight.
14:28I gotta lay off the snickerdoodles.
14:32Leave a lot of times.
14:33What have I done to myself?
14:35This is awful.
14:37Horrible.
14:39Hey, I could never reach that spot before.
14:42Ah, nice.
14:44Oh, yeah.
14:48Easy there, boy.
14:49It's me, Jimmy.
14:51When I teleported with Carl's hamster,
14:52we must have gotten our atoms mixed.
14:54All we have to do is find Mr. Wuggles and...
14:58Uh-oh.
14:59Hey, no!
15:00Ah!
15:01Ah!
15:01Ah!
15:02Ah!
15:02Ah!
15:02Ah!
15:03Ah!
15:03Ah!
15:04Ah!
15:04Ah!
15:05Ah!
15:06Ah!
15:07Ah!
15:08Ah!
15:08My own dog thinks I'm a hamster!
15:10Ah!
15:11It's a good thing the human part of me is completely in control.
15:13It's going to take every ounce of brain power I have to...
15:16Ah!
15:17Ah!
15:18Ah!
15:18Nuts, I smell?
15:25Ah!
15:26Ah!
15:26Ah!
15:27Ah!
15:27Listen to everybody scream.
15:29These rides must be scarier than I thought.
15:31Heh.
15:32What a bunch of scaredy-pins.
15:38I dipped the front car.
15:41Yeah, uh...
15:42Don't eat before you get on the ride.
15:44Ah!
15:45Ah!
15:46Ah!
15:47Hamster sense tingling!
15:48So close!
15:49Aha!
15:50Oh!
15:51Oh!
15:52Oh!
15:53Oh!
15:54Oh!
15:55Oh!
15:56Oh!
15:57Oh!
15:58Oh!
15:59Oh!
16:00That was close!
16:01Oh!
16:02Oh!
16:03Carl!
16:04Sheen!
16:05Oh, man!
16:06Am I glad to see you guys!
16:07I don't believe it!
16:09Jimmy!
16:10You're like a hamster or a gerbil or a dolphin or something!
16:13Isn't he adorable?
16:15Aw!
16:16Who's a cute little hamster?
16:18Oh!
16:19He's a fat one!
16:20I've got his belly!
16:21Yes, I do!
16:22Come on, Carl!
16:23Let me hold Jimmy!
16:24Oh, okay.
16:25Just be careful.
16:26Oh!
16:27It's just like episode 346, Attack of the Mighty Fur People.
16:31Check it out.
16:32I am hamster lord.
16:34I must die on your planet's energy to survive.
16:37Resistance is futile!
16:38Stop it, Sheen!
16:39Jimmy's not some kind of play thing!
16:41Aw!
16:42Who's got little pawsies?
16:43Who's got little pawsies?
16:44That's right!
16:45Jimmy does or yes, he does!
16:46You got problems, Carl.
16:47All right!
16:48That's it!
16:49Cut it out!
16:50I'm not a hamster!
16:51I'm a human being!
16:52Oh!
16:53Could you scratch under my chin again?
16:54Right there!
16:55Oh, yeah!
16:56That's the ticket!
16:57Now, listen!
16:58You two have got to help me find Mr. Wuggles!
17:00It's the only way I can return to normal!
17:01Return to normal?
17:02But Jimmy, you're so soft and cuddly!
17:03Yeah!
17:04And as hamster lord, you could easily defeat the lettuce people of Nebula 7!
17:05Guys!
17:06Focus!
17:07Listen!
17:08Sending Wuggles and me back through the teleporter is the only way to descramble our atoms!
17:09Now, can I count on you?
17:10Yeah, I guess.
17:11Sure.
17:12Okay, here's the plan.
17:13Great plan, Jimmy!
17:15Ah!
17:16Ah!
17:17Ah!
17:18Ah!
17:19Ah!
17:20Ah!
17:21Ah!
17:22Ah!
17:23Ah!
17:24Ah!
17:25Ah!
17:26Ah!
17:27Ah!
17:28Ah!
17:29Ah!
17:30Ah!
17:31Ah!
17:32Ah!
17:33Ah!
17:34Ah!
17:35Ah!
17:36Ah!
17:37Ah!
17:38Ah!
17:39Ah!
17:40Ah!
17:41Ah!
17:42Ah!
17:43Ah!
17:44F malfunction!
17:45Alright!
17:46Now, glove up!
17:47Eyes on the ball!
17:48Gaylord Perry taught me that this one's a knuckleball!
17:50Ready?
17:51Oh!
17:52Whoops-a-daisy!
17:53That's why they call it the knuckleball!
17:54You gotta keep the glove up, Jimmy!
17:57Now, this one's a split seam fastball!
18:00Oh!
18:01Rub some dirt in that, son!
18:06Ah!
18:08Um...
18:09You know, I'm really high in HDL cholesterol.
18:12That's the bad kind.
18:15A satellite dish.
18:18Hey, what's that?
18:24Yes!
18:25If I could just punch in Goddard's homing code.
18:37Ah!
18:39Aw, it's no good.
18:41I'm done for.
18:45Goddard!
18:49Goddard, it's me, Jummy.
18:52No more, I need you, lock you, recharge your battery.
18:56Huh?
18:58Thanks, boy.
19:00I knew you wouldn't need me.
19:02Hey, hey.
19:02It's Mr. Wuggles.
19:10He was with my dad the whole time.
19:12Quick, Goddard, let's get back to the lab.
19:14You know, maybe instead of eating Jummy, the hawk will raise him like his own son.
19:22Yeah, then Jummy will be half-hamster, half-human, and half-hawk.
19:27Hi, guys!
19:28Oh, look, it's Jummy.
19:30Jummy, we're coming!
19:31Let him own a life!
19:32Let him play, Jummy!
19:35Here, vicious little rodent.
19:37Come get some tasty seeds.
19:39Howdy, Butterbiscuit.
19:41Let your men folk are home.
19:42Ah!
19:44Ew!
19:44You get it out of here!
19:48I am getting more traps!
19:50Hang on, Jumbo.
19:51I'll get a plier.
19:54Do something, Jummy, because your mind might hurt Mr. Wuggles.
19:57Come on.
19:58Think, think, think.
20:05Hiya, Jummy!
20:07Brain blast!
20:08Carl, hand me that hamster trail!
20:10Chief, get my magnifying ray.
20:12I'm gonna lure Mr. Wuggles back to the lab with the one thing no hamster can resist.
20:26Wugga, wugga, wugga, wugga!
20:35It's working!
20:36Get ready, Carl!
20:38Wugga, wugga, wugga, wugga!
20:41Now, Sheen, initialize!
20:50Jimbo, you out here?
20:52Come on, now.
20:53Mom didn't mean to scare you.
20:54Hugh, that was not our son.
20:56That thing had fur and big teeth and whiskers.
21:00I've been calling him furry, Jumby.
21:02Hey, Jimbo, you got your own head back.
21:10I tried to tell your mother we had everything under control, but she never listens to me.
21:14But I, but I, I, I, I am never leaving you two alone again.
21:18Hmph.
21:20Well, I guess our little father's Sunday was just what you needed, eh, son?
21:25Uh, sure, Dad.
21:26If you say so.
21:30I love you, Mr. Wuggles.
21:32All right, a lizard!
21:35If I use Jimmy's pods to switch bodies with it, I can be lizard lord.
21:39Behold my tongue of doom and tremble.
21:43Tremble!
21:43Ah!
21:44Ah!
21:44Ah!
21:45Ah!
21:45Ah!
21:46Ah!
21:46Ah!
21:47Ah!
21:47Ah!
21:48Ah!
21:48Ah!
21:49Ah!
21:49Ah!
21:50Ah!
21:50Ah!
21:51Ah!
21:51Ah!
21:52Ah!
21:53Ah!
21:53Ah!
21:54Ah!
21:55Ah!
21:56Ah!
21:57Ah!
21:58Ah!
21:59Ah!
22:00Ah!
22:01Ah!
22:02Ah!
22:03Ah!
22:04Ah!
22:05Ah!
22:06Ah!
22:07Ah!
22:08Ah!
22:09Ah!
22:10Ah!
22:11Ah!
22:12Ah!
22:13Ah!
22:14Ah!
22:15Ah!
22:16Ah!
22:17Ah!
22:18Hi, I'm Paul.
22:32Got a blast.
Recommended
22:57
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