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  • 20/5/2025
Greg Gutfeld Show (Full Episode) | May 19, 2025

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00:00I'm so glad I flossed.
00:26My teeth too.
00:29Happy Monday, everyone.
00:31So it was announced that former President Joe Biden has advanced prostate cancer.
00:36I'm sure the announcement had nothing to do with the recently released her audio and
00:41the bombshell book about his cognitive decline.
00:45Just like I think how Yoko Ono had nothing to do with the Beatles breaking up.
00:50Yeah, and that rash I got had nothing to do with my weekend at the Mustang Ranch.
00:59After hearing the news of Biden's cancer, Hillary Clinton posted, quote, wishing you
01:03a speedy recovery and let me know if there's anyone you want me to murder.
01:09Also after hearing the news of Biden's cancer, Hillary's husband posted, does your nurse
01:14have big cans?
01:19Several inmates are still at large after escaping a New Orleans jail.
01:23The prisoners that escaped last week through a hole behind a toilet.
01:26Police warned the public that these inmates are armed, dangerous and covered in.
01:33How I like him.
01:36India failed to launch a satellite to observe Earth when the rockets malfunctioned.
01:42They could have saved it, but one of the engineers decided to press one to get a call back from
01:46tech support.
01:54Meteorologists are projecting unusually high temperatures in Southern California this week.
01:59Citizens are told to seek shade under Kim Kardashian's ass.
02:08Rumors are once again swirling that Lauren Boebert is dating Kid Rock after both were
02:15seen in public wearing earplugs.
02:25Almost half of Gen Z admitted to lying on their resumes in a recent survey.
02:29Yeah, don't I know it.
02:31My last three assistants claimed they were comfortable around nude men.
02:42And finally, a New York City woman ran the Brooklyn half marathon in a wedding dress
02:46hoping to find a husband.
02:48Well, that's her goal.
02:50She should have dressed up as a sandwich.
02:53All right.
02:59So tapes from the her report were released in case you missed it.
03:02Here's a snippet.
03:03Trump gets elected in November of twenty seventeen, sixteen, twenty sixteen.
03:10All right.
03:11So.
03:12I have twenty seventeen here.
03:17That's when you left office.
03:18January.
03:19OK.
03:20Yeah.
03:21But that's a chunk of sworn in by your brother.
03:32This guy was president and and not of the Brian kill me fan club, which, by the way,
03:38has no members.
03:41But the United States and those in power, the Democrats, they gas lit us over this while
03:48the media provided cover.
03:51This is ageism snuck into a report clearing the person of any wrongdoing.
03:55You were not born yesterday.
03:56You understood exactly what you were doing.
03:59He's not a medical doctor.
04:01He's just not.
04:02The comments that were made by that prosecutor, gratuitous, inaccurate and inappropriate.
04:08Many American people have been watching and they have expressed concerns about your age.
04:13That is your judgment.
04:15That is your judgment.
04:16The public.
04:17That is not the judgment of the press.
04:18I'm just saying this guy says such random about his his.
04:24Oh, stop.
04:25He's eighty one.
04:26And his memory, you know, it doesn't seem great.
04:28It's not horrible.
04:30I'm so glad none of these people are doctors, especially this one.
04:36Now, you never know if anything, her handled Biden with kid gloves because he saw what
04:46we saw and what the media tried to hide.
04:49And so the her report is the latest nail in the media's coffin.
04:52Now it's time to bury them and let maggots and worms do their thing.
04:56But forget the Dems for a moment.
04:58They have a reason for lying.
04:59For them, politics is a team sport and lying is the playbook.
05:03They'll tell you higher prices are a good thing or that Tim Walz is a man's man or that
05:09the only thing missing from girls sports is a penis.
05:14But the media betrayed their profession and put the country in danger.
05:17And that can't be forgiven.
05:19It's clear Biden wasn't running the country.
05:21Hell, he couldn't have run a dishwasher and they knew that under Biden.
05:26We saw awful things occur, war, terror, crime, Jesse getting his own show.
05:34Would none of that have happened if someone was actually president?
05:38They knew the presidency was a sham and they ridiculed anyone who said otherwise because
05:43he had a D next to his name.
05:46It makes me wonder, is there any industry like the media that orchestrated a similar
05:50cover up, one that had dangers to the American people in service to wealth and power?
05:55One comes to mind, the tobacco industry.
05:58For decades, they hid the fact that cigarettes were killing millions until finally they had
06:01to put warning labels on their product.
06:04My favorite is the one that says smoking reduces blood flow, which causes erectile dysfunction.
06:11It's so much easier than telling a woman that she's a five.
06:15Oh, how nice.
06:19Oh, you guys.
06:25But over time, smoking decreased.
06:28People still do it because it's fun and cool.
06:31Unlike the media.
06:32True, the media's lies are a danger to your health.
06:36They'll push getting rid of cops and going soft on criminals.
06:40Then they'll tell you that the crime stats went down.
06:43But at least smoking offers some relief and you could stomp it out when you're done with
06:47it.
06:48Think about it.
06:49Unlike smoking, you know, you never hear a coworker say, hey, I'm going to go outside
06:52and take a Jake Tapper break.
06:56No one stands out in the cold in front of a bar inhaling clips of meet the press.
07:02No one ever says, can I bum a Lawrence O'Donnell off you?
07:06The closest you hear is I ran into Don Lemon panhandling during my smoke break.
07:12True.
07:15No prisoner will give you a handjob in exchange for some face the nation with Margaret Brennan.
07:22Those words were never put together in that fashion.
07:27But isn't it weird that you can't smoke on an airplane, yet you're allowed to watch Nicole
07:31Wallace?
07:34But this is good news.
07:35It means that unlike smoking, the bond between America and its joyless media is weaker than
07:41the sexual tension on Morning Joe.
07:45I mean, oh, meaning, meaning once we realize it's true harm, the break will be as clean
07:56and final as Joe Theismann's leg.
08:01I know you won't even need a warning label, although they deserve one.
08:07It could go like this.
08:08Warning.
08:09Quitting media now greatly reduces serious risks to your health.
08:13Legacy media causes dementia while denying dementia.
08:17It causes division, anger and misery, then blames you for it.
08:21Media enables crime and blames victims, covers for corruption and may lead to murder, war
08:26and even worse, more WNBA.
08:30See, parents should treat legacy media just like smoking, a habit that will ruin their
08:39kids lives.
08:40And if you catch them watching a show on CNN, make them binge watch the whole 24 hour cycle.
08:46They'll be puking through their eyeballs.
08:49And if your kids still don't get it, point them to those who still believe the news.
08:53The unhinged mobs disconnected from friends and family.
08:57It's as simple as turning on The View.
08:58You don't need a lab x-ray for that.
09:01Just two eyeballs and a decent sense of smell.
09:06Let's welcome tonight's guest.
09:09He has a voice for radio and a face for a milk carton.
09:14Host of the Guy Benson show, Guy Benson.
09:19She gives the news on Fox and drinks wine from a box.
09:22Fox News anchor, Julie Banderas.
09:26His head was inspiration for Roland Deodorant.
09:29Host of the Jim Norton Can't Save You podcast, Jim Norton.
09:34And she knows alternative rock and loves a good stiff drink.
09:40Host of the Getting Saved for World podcast, Kennedy.
09:48All right, Guy.
09:49A lot of bad news this week, but it feels like they're trying to juxtapose today's
09:54bad news as a way to press, to push away the other bad news about the cover-up.
10:00What say you, bearded guy?
10:03So I saw Hakeem Jeffries, the Democratic leader in the House,
10:07come out today and say that Republicans are pushing conspiracy theories
10:12for suggesting what you just did, which is the Hur tapes come out.
10:16They're devastating on Friday.
10:17And then by Sunday, that weekend, they put a button on it.
10:22They put a bookend on it, and they announce the cancer.
10:25Now, I have no idea. I'm not making an allegation.
10:27I don't know what actually happened.
10:28I don't know when he was diagnosed.
10:29Maybe it really came down on Saturday.
10:32But are we really doing the conspiracy theory thing?
10:35Are they going to go back to that well again?
10:38He's dismissing it as a conspiracy theory.
10:40It's like, dude, everything we've been saying about this guy
10:42and his condition is correct.
10:45And the other one that they are saying, and he said it,
10:47and a lot of the other leftists in the media and the Democratic Party
10:50are saying, let's look forward.
10:52Let's move forward.
10:54Let's stop looking backward.
10:55No, I'm not over this because of what they perpetrated on us.
10:59And also, what are we supposed to move forward to?
11:02This is a really good point, and I'm surprised you had it.
11:06No, the only people, Julie, that say let's move forward
11:11are the people who commit crimes.
11:14I've seen so many on Instagram people getting arrested,
11:17and they're just like, oh, come on.
11:19You got the stuff.
11:21Just let me go.
11:22When they're shoplifting, they go, you already got this.
11:25Just let me go.
11:26No, you have to be, we have to, like, take you to court.
11:29Right, no, that happened to me when I was arrested when I was 16.
11:32I was like, come on, just let it go.
11:33It was minor shoplifting, not a big deal.
11:35But no, I mean, this is the point.
11:36That wasn't when you were a teenager.
11:37That was last week, Julie.
11:40Well, I got, they dropped the charges, so it doesn't count.
11:43So this is a boy cried wolf, unfortunately, scenario.
11:46And so when they accused Republicans of coming up with conspiracy theories,
11:49medical doctors, medical experts have said that there's a very good chance
11:52that he was diagnosed six months, if not six years ago.
11:55So that is a very likely medical reason.
11:58The reason for the lies, however, is just a simple cover-up.
12:01And I, myself, am a former liar.
12:03So I know a liar when I see one.
12:05Like, when I was 19 and I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me,
12:08did you know your license is suspended?
12:10I said no.
12:12That was not the truth.
12:16But that's selective memory.
12:17That's not memory loss.
12:20And good for you for being honest now.
12:23You know, it's a surprise.
12:24We actually have the police officer here.
12:26Get out of here, officer.
12:28And I only had to serve community service once,
12:30and that was when I was 16.
12:32So obviously.
12:33Were you picking up trash?
12:34I've really turned my life around.
12:36Were you picking up trash on the highway?
12:37Yes.
12:38Would that come later?
12:39No, I worked at a nursing home and I cleaned up piss and served pizza.
12:43Oh.
12:45Better than the reverse.
12:47I hope you didn't clean up the piss with the pizza.
12:49No, I did not.
12:50Jimmy.
12:52I missed that.
12:56I assume it was disgusting.
12:58I'll watch it when I get home.
13:00Jimmy, you're both a media expert and a medical expert,
13:04so your phone must be ringing off the hook.
13:06Yes, Greg, it is.
13:07Thank you for pointing that out.
13:09I watched and listened to the audio of that,
13:13and he reminded me of me when my wife finds a nude photo of another woman
13:17on my phone.
13:19Tuesday.
13:21Who?
13:22I don't know.
13:2517?
13:26Yes.
13:28He's still a better speaker than Kamala.
13:30Yes, it's true.
13:33I felt bad for him.
13:36I really felt bad for him.
13:38He's just an old guy who's losing his memory.
13:41It made me hate the press so much more than I've already hated them for
13:45years because they knew.
13:47I don't blame, again, his vice president.
13:49What is Kamala going to say?
13:51She can't get up to the podium and go,
13:53this is the tomato soup for brains.
13:55She's got to act like he's doing great,
13:57but the press is just unforgivable.
13:59The thing is, that's why I don't.
14:01The Democrats are going to lie whenever they can.
14:04You can't just blame them.
14:06Everybody in politics lies, but the media is not supposed to pick a side.
14:09Kennedy, what do you think about my theory?
14:11I think I'm the only one who's floated this because I'm a weirdo.
14:14It's not a disability.
14:16It was a debility in which they deliberately kept Biden kind of frail
14:22and weak because he was easier to manage.
14:25They could pass whatever they wanted.
14:27He didn't ask questions because he was always tired.
14:29I'm going to give you a label for this.
14:31Yes.
14:32Political Munchausen syndrome.
14:33Oh.
14:34They made the president even sicker and kept him debilitated.
14:43So people would go, oh, my goodness, all of you around him,
14:47you are so incredibly brave.
14:51Dr. Jill, Corinne Jean-Pierre, Ron Klain, you are doing the Lord's work here.
14:57And meanwhile, if you listen to stories about the debate prep,
15:01they kept him going.
15:02They were pushing and pushing.
15:04I don't know what it says in those books because they wanted him exhausted.
15:07They wanted him absolutely depleted.
15:10I think you're totally right.
15:13I think that they would have him do things right before he had to do something
15:17so he would be tired.
15:18And they knew they'd scramble his brain.
15:20They knew exactly the outcome.
15:22And that's what they were looking for, which, you know, to Guy's point,
15:25makes the whole thing so much more sadistic and sinister.
15:30And, yeah, Kamala, she's not a good speaker.
15:34And she also got caught in the ultimate lie about Biden's wherewithal.
15:39And people will respect a smart liar.
15:42We have no patience for a dumb liar.
15:45And there are so many idiots in the Democrat Party right now,
15:48from Karen Bass to Gavin Newsom and all the California just dip-
15:53that...
15:56Yeah, let's hear it for California dip-
16:00that I fear what they're going to put before us next
16:03and how they will lie to us in 2028.
16:06That was the biggest round of applause Munchausen Syndrome has ever gotten.
16:09Yes.
16:10Very impressive.
16:11World record.
16:13We're bringing it back.
16:15And we're bringing it back.
16:16I don't have Munchausen Syndrome,
16:18but I'm trying to make sure other people have it.
16:21You've got Munchkin Syndrome.
16:23See what I did there?
16:32Yeah, I have that, too.
16:33I went out with a girl.
16:34She has a great hausen.
16:39Nice.
16:40All right, enough of this.
16:41Up next, Tampon Tim runs this mouth.
16:46A story in five words.
16:53Waltz talks out of his ass.
16:56Donald Trump's modern-day Gascapo
16:59is scooping folks up off the streets.
17:02They're in unmarked vans, wearing masks,
17:04being shipped off to foreign torture dungeons.
17:06No chance to mount a defense,
17:08not even a chance to kiss a loved one goodbye,
17:10just grabbed up by masked agents,
17:12shoved into those vans, and disappeared.
17:18Hold on, hold on, hold on.
17:20I'm getting word from my producers
17:22that we just found out Tim Waltz
17:25has stage four terminal douchebaggery.
17:29It's incurable.
17:31Julie, that was the former VP nominee.
17:35Isn't that funny?
17:36Commencement ceremony
17:37at the University of Minnesota Law School.
17:41He's finished.
17:42He was already finished.
17:44Why would they invite him back to the school?
17:46It just goes to show he's speaking at a liberal school
17:48because they know that they're going to buy this up.
17:51They only do commencement speeches
17:53because they never get a...
17:54You don't get a follow-up question
17:56at a commencement speech.
17:57That is true.
17:58That is actually very true.
17:59But what angers me is that his narrative
18:02and the Democrats' narrative
18:03is to complain and whine and cry
18:05about criminals being arrested.
18:08Then he compares them to the Gestapo.
18:11What did he call it?
18:12I don't even know.
18:13He said...
18:14The dude had a snitch line during COVID.
18:16Yeah, but I mean, the whole point is that
18:18the Democrats didn't want the police officers
18:20to round them up,
18:21and when they did get rounded up
18:22after they were committing crimes,
18:23the jails and the DAs
18:24were letting them back out on the streets.
18:26So now ICE is having to do the job
18:27that the Democrats didn't do,
18:29and he's complaining about it.
18:30He should actually lock himself up in El Salvador.
18:33Mmm.
18:34Oh.
18:36Strong words.
18:40Jim, you gave a commencement address at DeVry.
18:43Yes, I did.
18:44Yes.
18:46Isn't it interesting?
18:48Like, do you ever, like, listen to people
18:50and go, like, that's not a...
18:51That's actually an assigned opinion?
18:53Like, you listen, you go, like,
18:54that's actually...
18:55Like, there's no real thought there,
18:57and it's like, why...
18:58How do you do that?
18:59It's like the prefab house.
19:01Yes.
19:02It's built before it gets there,
19:03so anything in that house
19:04is just how I'm gonna think.
19:05And, like, there's no way he can actually think
19:07that deporting people who are here
19:08illegally committing crimes is bad.
19:10Yeah.
19:11You can't be that stu...
19:12If you want him to get behind ICE,
19:13you're gonna have to start deporting
19:1559 white South African people.
19:17Yeah.
19:18That would get Tim Walz behind ICE.
19:19Exactly.
19:20But to criminalize ICE,
19:21or to, like, demonize ICE
19:23for throwing out illegals,
19:24they should do it, right?
19:26They have to do it by the book,
19:28but if they're doing it by the book,
19:29then they should throw people out
19:30who are not here.
19:31They should throw people out
19:32who are not here legally.
19:33There you go.
19:34I don't think that's fair.
19:35Jimmy.
19:36Jimmy.
19:37Kennedy, do you have any kind words to say?
19:41Have you ever done a commencement address?
19:43No.
19:44No.
19:45See, they won't ask you.
19:46Oh, absolutely not.
19:47No.
19:48I've been banned from commencements.
19:49Yes.
19:50It's a restraining order.
19:51Yeah, and Cookie Monster, as you know,
19:54was our commencement speaker,
19:56and he was quite good.
19:57Yeah, I will take the Cookie Monster
19:59over that Cookie Puss.
20:01You know, enough of my high school nicknames, Greg.
20:04Yes.
20:05Thank you very much.
20:06I look at Tim Walz, and I'm like,
20:09he talks like he put the tampons in his bottom.
20:12Yes.
20:13Like, he looks...
20:14It's so uncomfortable and forced,
20:16and something is lodged in there,
20:18and he's trying, like, holy heck to get it out,
20:22but he's terrified to pull the string
20:24because he doesn't know what else is going to fall.
20:28And it's like, bro, the Trump is Hitler thing,
20:32it didn't work.
20:33Yes.
20:34That's why you're a failed governor
20:36of a flyover state.
20:38It's not even a battleground state anymore.
20:40Even your own citizens have given up on you.
20:43Yes.
20:44So I'm sure he'll run again in 2028.
20:47I love Minnesota.
20:48It's a great state.
20:49It's a wonderful state.
20:50Yes.
20:51And so many lakes, it's beyond 10,000.
20:54Yes, it is beyond 10,000.
20:57More...
20:58Minnesota, more like Maxisoda.
21:02Oh, guy.
21:03Guy, guy, guy.
21:07You know, it's funny, I listened to that,
21:10and like what Jim's saying,
21:11it always feels like their opinions
21:13are created from some...
21:14It's outsourced, and it's brought in.
21:17And they...
21:18Like, if you're going to do a commencement address,
21:20wouldn't you want to say something that's from you?
21:22And memorable.
21:23Yeah.
21:24And true.
21:25Yeah.
21:26That'd be good.
21:27I did hear that he loved the outfit so much
21:28he wore it home.
21:29He's been wearing it ever since.
21:31He's like, I look great.
21:33He loves the tassel, I've heard.
21:35But I'm surprised that he didn't go on to say,
21:38and I fought the Gestapo back in World War II.
21:41Yeah.
21:42I was there, right?
21:43He makes up stuff all the time.
21:47And I am begging,
21:50begging the left-wing billionaires,
21:52can one of you pony up and buy your party
21:55one additional historical reference other than Nazis?
21:59That's all they have.
22:00It's Nazis every day, and I'm just...
22:02I'm bored of it.
22:03It's outrageous unto itself, but it's boring.
22:05Come up with another one.
22:07What did people do as a comparison
22:10before Nazis and Hitler?
22:12What did they...
22:13They go like, oh my God, you're like Attila the Hun.
22:16Like, what was the thing before Hitler?
22:18Yeah.
22:19And I don't like the Nazi comparisons either.
22:20Yeah, let's go back to Attila the Hun.
22:22Or Genghis Khan.
22:23Oh, that was a good one.
22:24Yeah.
22:25Wow, this one went nowhere.
22:27Sorry.
22:28It's better than when I was...
22:29I was going to say, hey, stop that.
22:31It makes the Nazis look bad.
22:33Glad I didn't say that.
22:35All right, up next, Eyeglasses steal the show.
22:43It's coming your way
22:45Hey, hey
22:47It's video of the day
22:56They escaped their cell,
22:58but our glasses look like hell.
23:00Our video of the day comes to us from New Orleans.
23:08Where a cop gave an update
23:10on the search for dangerous fugitives
23:13while wearing a pair of ridiculous glasses.
23:17Once I was notified about the escapees,
23:20I immediately gathered a team of experienced staff
23:24and we started calling victims and survivors
23:27just to make sure that they are aware
23:29of what was going on and that they are safe.
23:32We additionally sent our detectives to their homes
23:35for more safety measures,
23:37and that alone speak measures.
23:40Speaks me...
23:41You know what speaks measures?
23:43Wearing glasses you stole from the Green Lantern.
23:48Now, apparently last Friday,
23:5210 inmates escaped from this New Orleans jail
23:55and several are still on the run.
23:57Look at them, hopping out like a clown car.
24:00They escaped through a hole behind a toilet,
24:03which Jim usually does the reverse.
24:10Wow, they're defending you.
24:12I know, and you shouldn't be, he's right.
24:17Yeah.
24:19They wrote, around the hole,
24:21too easy, LOL, but they spelled too T-O.
24:27Which confirms they weren't there for stealing books.
24:32As a final insult, Kennedy, they left the toilet seat up.
24:35Yeah.
24:37You are...
24:38Drink this prison wine, bitches.
24:40Yeah.
24:42You are somebody who is known for your idiosyncratic glassware.
24:46And do you think that this was an appropriate choice
24:49for the seriousness of this situation?
24:51Let's put the picture up again of these glasses.
24:55Maybe not.
24:57There we go.
24:58Kennedy.
24:59Yeah?
25:00Would you wear those glasses on this show?
25:02Yeah, I would, I would, yeah.
25:09This one kind of hurts,
25:11it's a little bit more personal than I'd like to admit,
25:13but I always like to look on the bright side of things.
25:16I always like to find the glimmer of good news.
25:19Yes.
25:20And I see the silver lining around this cloud,
25:23and it's that I have a very bright future
25:26in law enforcement in Louisiana.
25:32I don't even have to be able to speak good English or nothing.
25:36Jim, you're kind of an expert in this.
25:38These men escape prison while you try to get into prisons.
25:42Greg, as a person who has reading glasses,
25:45I feel that the normal route is the...
25:47is the dignified route.
25:49Oh!
25:50Oh, my God.
25:52Oh, Jesus.
25:53Wow.
25:54Wow.
25:55That's interesting, I've never seen that before.
25:57It's good for dramatic effect.
25:58Yes.
25:59What do you mean?
26:01My God.
26:07I like you with glasses.
26:09Thank you, I like you with glasses, too.
26:11If I have a nap, I can just put them like that.
26:14Ooh.
26:16Ooh.
26:18I'm getting laid after the show.
26:23Well, we do have the optometrist convention,
26:25and we gave about 20 tickets.
26:27They're hot for your face.
26:29What do you make of this?
26:30Bad choice?
26:31Yeah, just stupid.
26:32I mean, those are the type of glasses you see
26:34someone get punched off at an airport kiosk fight.
26:37I don't understand...
26:40Frontier of spirit.
26:42I mean, they're only half green.
26:44Like, I actually like the green part
26:46better than the part where it fades.
26:48I think the part that's not green is annoying.
26:50I think they should be all green.
26:52They are... I mean, they really are insane,
26:54and somebody should have told her
26:56not to wear those.
26:58Guy, the prisoners escape behind a toilet,
27:00and I do not... you.
27:04Um...
27:07Do you care to address the controversial frame choice...
27:11Yes.
27:12...or the prison break?
27:14You have a choice.
27:15Both. I choose both.
27:16Yes.
27:17The video of them running out,
27:18I'm confused because I'm not an expert on prisons,
27:20but is there not usually a fence?
27:22Yeah.
27:23They get outdoors, and they just run like,
27:25wait, where's the fence?
27:26Yeah.
27:27Who designed this jail?
27:28So that's my first beef.
27:29Second beef, this is a missed opportunity
27:31for this woman and the glasses.
27:32I don't hate the glasses,
27:33but they should be color-coded
27:35like the emergency system.
27:37Mm.
27:38Like, you know, for, like, high alert.
27:39So they should be red.
27:40Yes.
27:41She should come out red.
27:42She's like, red alert.
27:43We have ten inmates gone.
27:44And then she gives the next press conference.
27:45They've caught half of them.
27:46It's yellow.
27:47Right?
27:48We're getting better.
27:49The green has to wait
27:50until they're all back in prison.
27:55Amazing.
27:59Julie, you're kind of a fashion maven.
28:01Mm, yeah.
28:02You shop at T.J. Maxx.
28:03Right.
28:05Lane Bryant.
28:06I'm trying to think of names for places.
28:08Big and tall.
28:09Anne Klein.
28:10Yeah.
28:11I don't know anymore.
28:12What say you?
28:13She looks ridiculous.
28:14And I do not endorse her glasses.
28:15I would love them on Kennedy,
28:17but Kennedy is not rounding up criminals.
28:18You know what, Julie?
28:19I am in my boudoir, Julie.
28:21Don't show anyone.
28:22Julie, Julie.
28:23They know where to go.
28:24Julie, I have a theory
28:26that she doesn't have friends on the force.
28:29Because if you were that person going out,
28:31wouldn't you have a friend that comes and says...
28:33You would come and say,
28:34hey, before you go up there,
28:35take those ridiculous glasses off.
28:37Yes, exactly.
28:38Whenever you see somebody
28:39do something embarrassing in public,
28:40it's because their friends hate them.
28:42I'm more interested in gyms' glasses.
28:44Yeah.
28:45Can I just get back to that for a second?
28:46They remind me of, like,
28:47you're too lazy to look at your penis
28:48by actually turning your neck downward,
28:50so then you just tone it in like this,
28:51so you just...
28:52Yes.
28:53Is that...
28:54Am I right?
28:55Have you done that?
28:56Well...
28:57Yes or no?
28:58Honest question.
28:59If I want to look at my penis,
29:00I don't...
29:01Do you have magnified glasses?
29:02Are they magnified?
29:03Magnified glasses.
29:04Oh, got it.
29:05Okay.
29:06I just wanted to clear that up.
29:07This is a family show.
29:08All right, coming up...
29:09Did an Obama daughter plagiarize?
29:16Five more words.
29:23Did Malia...
29:24Malia?
29:25Malia.
29:26Did Malia steal her movie?
29:29All right, Jim.
29:32Natalie Jasmine Harris has accused
29:34Barack Obama's daughter, Malia,
29:36of plagiarizing a scene from her short film
29:38to use in a Nike commercial.
29:41Here we go.
29:42So...
29:53Do you think this is...
29:54Jim, you are an analyst of art.
29:57Yes, I am, Greg.
29:58Yes.
29:59This is why you're wearing all black.
30:00Yes, it is, Greg.
30:01Would you call this theft?
30:03It reminds me of my own childhood.
30:05Really?
30:06Sitting on the porch playing patty cakes.
30:08Yes.
30:09Myself...
30:10Myself and a much older gentleman.
30:15And, um...
30:16We played with our butt cheeks.
30:22Oh, they're turning on you now, Jim.
30:24Oh, they understand.
30:26Yeah, it was a little close,
30:27but I wouldn't say...
30:28I actually liked the commercial
30:29better than the bit from the film.
30:31I only saw a little bit,
30:32but I thought the commercial was fine.
30:34It's like...
30:35I don't know.
30:36I just didn't see it as a big deal.
30:37Maybe it was influenced,
30:38but I wouldn't say
30:39she absolutely ripped it off.
30:41Julie, the filmmaker
30:43accuses Malia of plagiarizing.
30:46Is she accusing her of theft
30:47because she's black?
30:49No.
30:50And accusing her of stealing
30:52the idea of patty cake in a video
30:54is absolutely ridiculous.
30:56Because then, you know,
30:57all my home videos
30:58when I was a child
30:59would be out the window.
31:00And by the way,
31:01the color purple, in fact,
31:02has a scene very similar.
31:03And there's many other movies
31:05that have patty cakes.
31:06So I think this woman
31:07is trying to get a little bit
31:08of a, you know...
31:09That's true.
31:10One of my favorite patty cake scenes
31:12was in Dirty Harry.
31:14I don't know if you remember that.
31:15No, I do not.
31:16Yeah.
31:17But I'm just saying
31:18it's been done before.
31:19I think this woman's trying
31:20to get some attention.
31:21Blue's hands clean off.
31:23Remember that scene?
31:24Clint Eastwood?
31:25Blow your head clean off.
31:27That's my impression
31:28of Clint Eastwood, guy.
31:29That's good.
31:30It's really good, yeah.
31:31You're really good and talented.
31:33Isn't he?
31:34Is it Brit Hume
31:35as Clint Eastwood?
31:36It's Brit Hume.
31:37It's, uh...
31:39It's, uh...
31:4044...
31:41It's a 44 magnum.
31:43It's a blow your...
31:44Blow your head clean off.
31:47My good friend...
31:48That was better.
31:49My good friend
31:50Wanda Williams
31:51in Special Report
31:54says, uh...
31:55Don't point that gun at me.
31:58I liked it when
32:00Brit was still hosting
32:01Special Report
32:02and Bret Baier
32:03was one of the correspondents.
32:04Yeah.
32:05And they would toss it
32:06back and forth to each other.
32:07Brit.
32:08Bret.
32:09Brit.
32:10Brit.
32:11I just wanted it to keep going.
32:12Brit.
32:13Solid 30 minutes of that.
32:14Bret.
32:15Bret.
32:16Bret.
32:17Bret.
32:18Delightful Molly Hemingway
32:19is with us today
32:20and glorious Shannon Breen.
32:21Glorious.
32:22Guy, what say you
32:23about this, uh...
32:24accusation of black racism?
32:26What do you...
32:27What do you say about this?
32:28Blah, blah, blah.
32:29Blah, blah, blah.
32:30Blah, blah, blah.
32:31Does he have a southern accent, though?
32:32I don't know.
32:33That's so good.
32:34So, my first thought
32:36was that they were gonna actually...
32:38The joke that you made,
32:39they were gonna play the race card.
32:40Yeah.
32:41Like, oh, this is racist,
32:42this is sexist.
32:43But then I looked up
32:44the accuser,
32:45black woman.
32:46Mm-hmm.
32:47Like, uh-oh.
32:48Then I went to her Twitter bio,
32:49quote,
32:50quote,
32:51believer in black queer joy.
32:53Uh-oh.
32:55Uh-oh, so we're dealing
32:56with a very special character here.
32:58And, look, part of me was sympathetic.
33:00Like, she came up with this scene
33:01and she felt like it was taken
33:02from someone with a very famous last name.
33:04Maybe she's this struggling artist.
33:06No, she's done commercials
33:07for Verizon, Hyundai,
33:08and HBO bought her movie.
33:10This woman's doing just fine.
33:12Mm.
33:13I guess she decided to come out
33:14and blow up Malia Obama.
33:15Yeah.
33:16Unfair.
33:17Black-on-black crime.
33:18They never talk about it, do
33:20they?
33:20Oh, up next.
33:22Kennedy, I have this idea that
33:24Hollywood should make a giant
33:26blockbuster based on the game
33:28patty cake.
33:29Because they do everything else.
33:31They've done legos, a giant
33:33three-hour epic, and it's about
33:35two pairs of hands that are
33:37separated, and they have to get
33:38back and play patty cake before
33:40the world is destroyed by a
33:42donkey that's looking for its
33:44tail to get pinned on.
33:46I would rather watch the
33:48original footage of some old
33:50man slapping Jim's butt cheeks
33:52than live through that.
33:54But why are you Obama
33:56defenders giving Malia a pass?
33:59She's a nepo baby who doesn't
34:01have any ideas, and she's like,
34:03oh, yes, I'm so famous that now
34:05I'm writing on an Amazon show,
34:07and I just fart out these arty
34:09little films, and then I go to
34:11Sundance, and I take obscure
34:13directors, and I take little
34:15nuggets and tidbits from some of
34:17their film, and I just massage
34:19them into mine.
34:20It's best practices.
34:22I was merely inspired.
34:24I want to hear Brit Hume
34:33interview Malia Obama for the
34:37remainder of the show.
34:39Malia, your father is a
34:41historical figure, the first
34:43black president, and served two
34:45terms, and that's all I have to
34:47say.
34:48Malia, what do you have to say?
34:50I will have you know that,
34:52first of all, it's disrespectful.
34:54Second of all, I don't use my
34:56surname in public.
34:57I go as Malia Ann.
34:59No one.
35:00And I tell you, Brit Hume, if
35:02that's your real name...
35:03It is.
35:04It is.
35:05It is.
35:06It is.
35:07It is.
35:08If that is your name...
35:09It is.
35:10Probably stolen from a
35:11philosopher, I'll have you know
35:13no one knows who I am.
35:15Oh, well, that's...
35:22Blah, blah.
35:23Up next, Epstein.
35:24Tonight on What the F, the FBI's top brass saying Jeffrey Epstein killed himself.
35:48After all, roll it Helga.
35:50As a public defender, as a prosecutor who's been in that prison system, who's been in
35:53the Metropolitan Detention Center, who's been in segregated housing, um, you know a suicide
35:58when you see one and that's what that was.
36:01He killed himself.
36:03Again, you want me to, I've, I've, I've seen the whole file.
36:06He killed himself.
36:07Julie.
36:08Oh my God.
36:09Who got to them?
36:10Yeah, it's so ridiculous.
36:14First of all, this should just highlight the fact that we had two security guards in a
36:17New York prison who both happened to fall asleep when this guy killed himself.
36:21And I believe he killed himself.
36:22I've never believed in any of the conspiracy theories, but it does highlight the fact that
36:26our prison systems are completely failed if they let this guy go.
36:30But in their defense, they're not used to actually holding people in prisoners in prison.
36:35They let them go.
36:36Yeah.
36:37So these guys are, that's their nap time.
36:38They were out of practice.
36:39Jim, uh, you considered suicide.
36:45That makes you kind of an expert on this.
36:47Do you believe them?
36:49The audience is like...
36:54So sad.
36:55I'll be honest.
36:56I consider suicide every time I get a call to do this show.
37:08But yeah, I've, I've always, all, and I know that Epstein's a big story, but you know,
37:12for me it's personal.
37:13He was a friend.
37:17And, uh, I've always thought he killed himself because he had reason to.
37:24Yeah.
37:25I mean, he was fake.
37:26He's a worth $500 million and he was facing life in prison for sex trafficking.
37:30Like he knew he was done and that's not an easy life for a guy.
37:35Sex trafficking when you're, I had no doubt that he killed himself because he had a good
37:38reason to.
37:39I don't know.
37:40Kennedy.
37:41I don't know.
37:42I don't buy it.
37:43Not for a second.
37:44Yeah.
37:45I really don't.
37:47It's all shady here.
37:48You know, Julie pointed out the guards were sleeping.
37:49Oh, the security cameras were malfunctioning.
37:52You know, this is the highest profile inmate in the country, arguably, and they just go
37:57sleepy night night.
37:58Like I don't, I don't buy any of it.
38:00And guys like that, he was such a narcissist.
38:03He had already been essentially freed once in a sweetheart deal.
38:08And this guy had so much money and so much access and so many secrets.
38:12He was absolutely convinced that he was going to go scot free.
38:17I don't believe just based on his personality profile that he killed himself.
38:22And someone did get to cash in Dan.
38:24No, that's, that's it.
38:27I watched the clip.
38:29I gasped like, my God, Bongino has fallen, but they didn't have to zoom out.
38:36And just off camera, Hillary Clinton with a gun, like blink cash, but tell if you're
38:42under duress.
38:43Yeah.
38:44You know, it could just be that you could satisfy suicide and what you're saying by
38:52him paying them to allow him to kill himself because they were, they were watching closely.
38:57He says, can you give me an hour, leave me alone.
39:00And that's probably, that could have been the, we could all be correcting this interesting
39:05conspiracy.
39:06I think what I miss most is his laugh.
39:08No, no, no.
39:12What was the thing he always used to do?
39:14Every single, every, oh damn, give me your glasses.
39:17Oh, here they are.
39:18No, no, no.
39:19Every picture of Jeffrey Epstein, he was like this.
39:22Yeah.
39:23During depositions, he'd be like this.
39:26Yeah.
39:27I would always tease him.
39:28Jeff, you hungry?
39:29We would laugh.
39:30All right.
39:31Don't go away.
39:34Don't go away.

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