Peep Show: Pube Fire!

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to call-in and share the crazy reason they stopped dating someone. A guy who set his pubes on fire and a woman with alligator skin are at the top of the list.

Transcript

00:00okay here's a question for you this morning what's a crazy ass reason you stop dating someone

00:10if someone is going to dump you it should be at least for a good reason right doesn't always

00:14work out that way though people were asked online for the weirdest reasons people stopped dating

00:19them or that they used to break up with someone else uh someone said a girl broke up with me

00:29because my place was too clean she said real men don't clean

00:34wow um that's amazing yeah i've never heard i've never heard real men don't clean

00:43that is incredible i mean listen there's a line every person's place should be tidy and neat

00:52there's clean freak though yeah it's over the top if it's almost like an ocd thing yeah and everything

00:58has to be exactly the same way then okay i get that but just that you like to keep your place

01:04tidy yeah you're not a like a pig yeah i mean but i don't know is it like kind of like that weird

01:10american psycho type of right where it just gets like it's too crazy yeah yeah everything has to

01:16look like like a display almost uh-huh uh this guy said they broke up with a girl because she

01:22meowed like a cat when she finaled hold on a second um it was to me a total turnoff i couldn't

01:30take it anymore don't you do it i'm gonna ruin it for you don't you do it ever again

01:38you don't do it ever again

01:41uh someone texted in saying i broke up with a girl because she had hairy nipples

01:47to me that's not a crazy ass reason that's a valid reason yeah i'm sorry i know i feel bad i feel so

01:54bad because maybe you're so cool but if you're an unfortunate lady suffering from hairy nipples

02:00there's a way to remove the hair yeah sure one of the easiest things you can do so i don't think

02:06that's a crazy reason i think that's a valid in fact if you're a hairy nippled lady it's just

02:11it should be so rare for the guy to ever discover that you are right because maybe you don't know

02:18but when when you get home today i want you to look down at your nipples and say are these hairy

02:24please do and if they are do it right now ladies wherever you are yeah well just look check right

02:30now are your nipples hairy and then do something and then take care of it if they are if you see a

02:35hair there because really i mean like as guys we really shouldn't discover that uh i had a guy

02:45break up with me this woman said because he was moving away and it was just too far for him

02:49it was 20 miles yeah that's a long way that's not that long listen man he's like this wasn't into

02:56you wish me luck on my travels 20 miles i go to a foreign land on this day i packed a lunch

03:03there really is a limit to how far you'll travel after a while you don't like her yeah exactly if

03:12you're not willing to travel 20 miles you don't like her no he's got gear on like he's going to

03:19everest or something yeah it's like well my lady i'm off yeah never see each other again sorry all the

03:25best yeah bump into each other at the grocery store that's 10 miles between you he's got a walking

03:29stick uh anonymous voice changing technology next crazy ass reason you got dumped hi anonymous go ahead

03:39anonymous i was hi when i was in the military i was dating this guy for a little while and the first

03:51time that we had sex right afterwards the room is quiet and it's dark and i hear a hissing sound

03:58and i'm like what are you what are you doing and the next thing i know he lights up his entire pubic

04:06chair on fire that was the best sex i ever had yes and i broke up with him the next day

04:14that dude had sex and then was like jimmy hendrix with the guitar with his pubes

04:19he said it was the best sex he ever had and that made him light his pubes on fire yes i never thought

04:30to do it that's what he said and it freaked me out yeah i mean i did not i and i was like i can't do

04:38this of course there's no way i can even foresee spending any amount of time with this neanderthal

04:46i don't i don't know who told you that was a good idea what was that a good idea oh my god

04:50craziest story i've ever heard so as the guy i just have like a small can of lighter fluid

04:56that i keep there in case i have the best sex of my life one time

05:00no but if you push down the you know the button on a lighter you don't even have to have fluid you

05:07just have to have the gas so you let the butane just build up in my pubes and then i

05:13that's right huh thank you for the tip

05:17that's all you need wow he does that every time yeah don't do that he did that every single time

05:23oh my god anonymous thank you and i hate to say i have never heard anybody have that same story

05:29no no you're the first it's all that's all yours thanks for listening in a way you're so memorable

05:36yeah yeah you're so memorable like no one would ever forget you i've never thought about bringing

05:41pyrotechnics into it never once being like

05:44yeah it's like the monterey festival it's like everyone was like wow who was that jimmy

05:52hendrix he lit his guitar on fire that man set his pubes ablaze

05:58there's a lot of gyrating in that in that whole thing too it's real crazy that's why i bet that's

06:06what he did it's incredible really i've never thought of it uh dumped a guy i think this person

06:12said because of saying uh instead of saying go to the bathroom he'd say i gotta go make pee

06:20oh that's a very bad that's a character flaw yeah somebody should have been like never say

06:26that again dude she said i cringed every time i heard it i gotta go make pee

06:30that is i get it i totally get that one uh on a regular line david's in south carolina david uh

06:41what is the reason that you stopped dating someone well we we were in high school we went

06:48uh to the lake penis by the way penis and uh we're in a tent never even got that far uh

06:56yeah uh we're going to have intercourse and she had skin like an alligator it was like she got stung

07:03with a from a bee like she had hives so i had gotten oral sex of course but ran the other way

07:11of course yes at least of course that wow oh my god alligator skin i mean it's tough that's a tough

07:18one to reveal i'd be like can you listen alligator oral is all we're gonna do

07:24see you later see you later alligator see you later alligator oh damn oh they keep getting better

07:39mm-hmm

07:40it's covered in sores and scales i mean i i didn't i mean pubes being lit on fire and never ever

07:49would have i imagine anyone would light their pubes on fire because they just had what

07:53their opinion was the best sex ever yeah he set the bar real high though what's that hissing

08:01hold on turn the lights out cut the lights

08:07he's got the clapper cut the lights i mean on one hand it's a great compliment right

08:12no he says that to everyone he's insane you're insane you do that

08:17you have to play that if you do it oh i think so oh you totally use the music yes

08:26yeah we'll take a break oh that sounds good

08:33you

08:35you

08:41you

08:43you

08:45you

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