Trucker Tales

Beasley Digital

It's Trucker Thursday on Dave and Chuck the Freak. The show asks all the truck drivers listening to share their craziest story from being out on the road.

Transcript

00:00all right it's now trucker thursday here on dave and chuck the freak let's go to z hall

00:11how you doing oh how's she going how's she going so as a trucker what's one of the craziest stories

00:19that you can share so i actually texted the story in a couple years ago and it made the peep show

00:25but it is a true story so uh i deliver all kinds of stuff to nursing homes i'm delivering to the

00:30back of the nursing home and this guy was backing out kind of crazy so i honked the truck horn at him

00:36and uh he still hit me a little bit but uh long story short he ended up having a heart attack and

00:42dying right there your truck horn killed him it killed him it gave him a heart attack oh and uh

00:51yeah his heart gave out on him and i had to stick around and yeah that was it for him oh man you're

00:56a killer yeah this is we probably i don't remember the peep show but i'll say this i guarantee that we

01:03would have said dave almost killed our whole uh you know i thought the same thing yeah yeah

01:09it's guaranteed what it was said because that's where i wanted that's what i want to say

01:13yeah thanks man thanks it's deadly it can be deadly they're so loud right yes they're so loud

01:26and an old guy backing out at a nursing home wasn't expecting that can handle it no the only thing

01:31louder are those train horns that every once in a while people install it's crazy to think your heart

01:37is hanging by such a thin thread yeah that a loud noise can just kill you that's how i feel

01:43that's how i feel i'm walking on pins and needles over here

01:48yeah that is insane oh that poor guy do you have he didn't sound like he was that guilty

01:56i mean okay i mean he keeps calling and telling us the story yeah he's not afraid of it he's not

02:02afraid of it you're right how bad he feels about it no i feel bad wouldn't you feel bad i would feel

02:08bad if if i just honked a horn i could just honk my whole life being like i've killed a man yeah

02:16what did you do i honked a horn at him and he died i hear you're a killer i am i get like a teardrop

02:24me too i once had to kill 17 men in a in a large room with my bare hands mine was a bit different i

02:33just honked a horn at a man and his heart gave way what but i've killed him i also have killed a

02:39man i call in a lot this guy says i uh pull into a purdue plant drop my empty trailer go park

02:47sit right next to a little pond um about three in the morning i hear

02:53tapping on the passenger side door okay i get up jump up look at the window expecting to see someone

03:01no one there i think oh god i must have been hearing things go lay back down soon as my head

03:08hits the pillow except now it's on the driver's side yep same thing as before i jump up look out

03:17the window nothing's there double lock my doors because i have no idea what's going on at this

03:23point after about 15 minutes along the driver's side of the truck i hear splat splat what the hell

03:32i slowly get up terrified look out the window then there's a thud from the roof of the cab nope

03:41i stop they're here grab a tire iron ready myself for whatever the hell is going on aliens a mother

03:50effing goose falls off the top of the truck and lands on my hood stupid goose it stands up waddles

03:56back and forth looks at me we make eye contact it takes the hell off the pond i parked you i guess

04:03had a ton of them just dicking around yeah but i didn't see that in the middle of the night that makes

04:07some sense yeah it's like they're like what the f is this thing hitting it with its beak

04:13get out of here i just i went and had a nice conversation with that thing

04:18we'll never see it again yeah i thought it was a lot lizard ghost coming oh my god yeah it's a

04:24great horror movie i'll blow you oh that's terrifying i'll do it for free

04:30it just comes through the top uh someone said my trucker husband has had so many pervs

04:39look over the bathroom stall at the truck stop on him once some dirty bastard looked over the top

04:46and my husband pulled out a knife and threatened that he was going to cut his dick off guy ran out

04:51quick as hell with my husband chasing him damn yeah i mean uh it's crazy you gotta have a knife ready

04:59when you're pooping that's all you guys don't do yeah he's just like ready i almost stabbed dave

05:05it was lucky it was you dave it was not lucky it was me he would have had a knife during that

05:15situation oh my god that would have been crazy jumped up oh i'm stabbed i stabbed dave

05:22so confusing a pantsless chuck just stabbed me caught me with my toilet knife yeah i nakedly

05:28stabbed dave nakedly oh that'd make a horrible day even worse oh yeah driving through an abandoned

05:37section of baltimore at three in the morning my cb radio turned itself on and crackled for a bit

05:44out of nowhere some voice in a deep southern drawl said i ain't got no panties on oh no

05:54no i could see up and down the interstate for miles not one other set of headlights

05:59was the creepiest moment i've ever had well haven't we heard that there are

06:05like some of these lot lizards that will have cb radio i think they get on cb radio yeah and they'll

06:12be like this is my like from their home or whatever and they say like this is where i'm at

06:16and then they're just trying to so they're just constantly piping out that they don't have panties

06:23on and they're hoping that one of these dudes that'll take anything 10-4 what's your 20 10-4 what's

06:29your 20 that's it i think it really happens and bill that panties thing you say is some sort of code

06:36yeah it's gay drivers looking for other gay drivers that's what they say when you hear that on the radio

06:44i don't have panties on they wanting other dudes that's what that is thank you for that code yeah now i

06:52know what to say on my cb i ain't got no 20 years and that's really and how did you find that out

07:01well you make a mistake uh got told when i started driving over 20 years ago okay yeah so that's like

07:08one of the things like like when you go to the truck driver training school they're like all right

07:12every once in a while check this out someone's gonna say i have no panties on what's it mean

07:21that means uh that means that it's a it's a gay but gay trucker that wants to have sex with me

07:27that's right you got it

07:29gay truckers sweet good job he did it you got he's so good that's why he's gonna make thousands of

07:38dollars that's right well that probably has misled some fellas through the years uh yeah yeah and then

07:47i think that some of these guys are just like oh no panties there's no panties mouth is a mouth

07:54tom's in tennessee we're talking about your uh story for trucker thursday what is it tom

07:59yeah hi uh yeah i pull into a vince lombardi rest area in new jersey notorious prostitutes

08:06and uh waiting for some of my trucks and a prostitute walks up to me which is an undercover cop

08:10so he goes hey baby you want a good time i'm like no thank you officer she's like i'm not a cop i'm

08:15like you most definitely are a cop how can you tell i said sensible shoes french nails and a dental

08:20program yeah that's the best thing i've ever heard

08:29sensible shoes fresh nails and a dental program

08:36and a dental program yeah because i had perfect teeth i'm like yeah truck stop or uh yeah

08:42not today yeah not today

08:45yeah that's yeah he's right that was one of my better ones

08:50yeah that's great tom thanks dude thanks for coming

08:53french nails and a dental plan oh my god

08:58oh yeah that would never you'd never see any of that on a lot lizard no my goodness she should

09:05have dressed the part yeah she messed up what are they gonna do knock three of her teeth out

09:09yeah i don't know what you do about the teeth when your teeth are great there's nothing you can do

09:13oh yeah those like it looks like a halloween costume right like those aren't real

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