Peep Show: Million Dollar Jerk Off

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a news anchor in Jacksonville, Florida who misspoke while reporting on a lottery jackpot winner and said something inappropriate instead of the word jackpot.

Transcript

00:00We know well doing live radio that you can't take things back once they're set on the air.

00:10I know that better than anybody.

00:12Generally, we get away with a lot of it given the show we do, but in some formats it doesn't work as well.

00:18This was on a TV station in Atlanta, I believe, recently.

00:25Listened to the slip up the female news anchor made here.

00:30Jacksonville man just won a million-dollar jack-off jackpot from a scratch-off.

00:35Look at that guy, the way he bought the winning ticket.

00:37Did you see the co-host?

00:40He's like, bitch, what'd you say?

00:43Jack-off?

00:44Jacksonville man just won a million-dollar jack-off jackpot from a scratch-off.

00:50Where he bought the winning ticket.

00:51That's a head.

00:52That's a reading ahead.

00:53That's Jacksonville, Florida, by the way.

00:55I wasn't in Atlanta, but yeah.

00:57A million-dollar jack-off.

00:58That sounds like a good time.

01:01That seems like a lot for that.

01:03It better be.

01:04I don't know what it would have to be.

01:06I don't know.

01:06A lot of lube.

01:07Yeah, I mean.

01:08I'd have to be in the most tropical foreign land.

01:13Exactly.

01:13In the best hotel with the best food.

01:15A million-dollar jack-off.

01:17Because it's nice.

01:18The smallest, softest hands, and the biggest knockers ever seen.

01:21It's nice, but a million dollars.

01:24No.

01:25No, nothing.

01:26No jack-off is worth a million dollars.

01:27Unless you got that and also a million dollars.

01:29Okay, let me ask you this.

01:31Mm-hmm.

01:32A Scarlett Johansson million-dollar jack-off.

01:34Oh, God.

01:36Oh, my God.

01:37Is there someone who's worth a million-dollar jack-off to you?

01:42I don't think there is.

01:42I don't think even Sofia Vergara.

01:44It's still just a jack-off.

01:44I don't think there is.

01:45I'm like, are you kidding?

01:46Like, you guys don't know this, but she's done it a lot of times to me.

01:50I don't know if you know that, but this is Scarlett Johansson.

01:52With your own hand.

01:53Yeah.

01:53You call your hand Scarlett Johansson.

01:56Whoa.

01:56She prefers Miss Scarlett.

01:57Yeah.

01:59Yeah.

01:59We're on a first-name basis.

02:00No, there is no one.

02:02I mean, honestly, even your biggest crush.

02:05No.

02:06Because it's just an H, Jay.

02:07That's what I mean.

02:08I mean, it's only, like I'm saying, they're good, but they're only so good.

02:13Right.

02:13They're only so good.

02:16I mean, in a bind.

02:18Wow.

02:19Great.

02:19You would regret it the second you finished.

02:22Yeah, because I'd finish so quick.

02:23I'd be like one of the world's.

02:24Because you'd be looking at Scarlett Johansson.

02:26I'd be one of the world's worst.

02:28If they'd break down the amount of strokes, they'd be like, oh, my God, he paid $150,000

02:37a stroke.

02:38That'd be terrible.

02:41How did a radio DJ spend a million dollars in four seconds?

02:44Yep.

02:45You've heard of the two-hump chump.

02:46Well, this is a one-stroke.

02:48I'd rather get a million-one-dollar jack-offs.

02:52Oh, God.

02:53I don't know about that, Jason.

02:55They wouldn't be great.

02:56Can you imagine who'd jack you up for a buck?

02:58Big, rough man hands that are going to be doing big mirrorless.

03:00Listen.

03:01Sounds even better.

03:02I think he's on to something, though.

03:05He is on to something.

03:06You'd way rather have like a $1,000 one and figure out who that person would be.

03:15Stretch it out a little bit.

03:16And stretch it out.

03:17I agree.

03:17I think you could get a really decent $1,000 jerk-off.

03:21Oh, I think if you're not getting the world's best one at $1,000, because I believe that

03:25they're a lot cheaper than that.

03:27Quantity over quality, right?

03:28Isn't that what they say?

03:29Yeah.

03:30Then eventually you find the quality.

03:32Exactly.

03:33But yeah, I'm sure this poor female anchor was just dying after she said that.

03:37Jacksonville man just won a $1,000,000 jack-off jackpot from a scratch-off.

03:42The guy is so disappointed.

03:44She's like, jack-off, huh?

03:46I don't know what he's supposed to say.

03:48Jack-off, huh?

03:48His face is hilarious, though.

03:50It'd be funny if you find out she just did that to him right before they started this

03:53newscast.

03:53Oh, yeah.

03:54That's why it's on her mind.

03:55Yeah.

03:56Yeah.

03:56Just watch him during this.

03:58Yeah.

03:59Where he bought the winning ticket.

04:00That's ahead of...

04:01Jacksonville man just won a $1,000,000 jack-off jackpot from a scratch-off.

04:05His eyes even look like they went bigger, yeah.

04:07Where he bought the winning ticket.

04:08A jack-off.

04:10My goodness, it doesn't say jack-off.

04:12Okay, someone said, what about a million-dollar beager?

04:15It's still a million...

04:16It's still...

04:17Nothing.

04:17That is...

04:18When you think about it, when you break down the time of pleasure you get, there's no

04:23way it equates to a million dollars.

04:25Yes.

04:26It's all like high school stuff, really.

04:28Yeah.

04:29I know.

04:29I mean, it's funny.

04:29My God.

04:31Sometimes, Lisa, high school stuff is enough.

04:33Take me back!

04:35Oh, some of us would love high school stuff.

04:37Oh, my God.

04:38I'd love a little high school stuff.

04:40Yeah.

04:40That'd be great.

04:41You want to make out in a car?

04:43High school, college, all that.

04:44Oh, my God.

04:45You want to touch my wiener and watch Jackass?

04:46Let's go.

04:47Yeah.

04:47Oh, my goodness.

04:49High school stuff.

04:50What a day.

04:51Good memories.

04:51B deepest.

04:53Hell shit.

04:53Hello.

04:54Hello.

04:5469.

04:55Oh, my God.

04:55I'll see you in a long.

04:56about mind me getting up here in my andreview.

04:57You're right, lovely.

04:58No.

04:59Moving to the Frau isímara with me.

04:59Good to see you as I'med in a book cup, Eli is fikkizht, I'm a human legend.

05:02I love you.

05:02Good to see you in a minute, bye.

05:04Mind you again.

05:05Bye-bye.

05:06Bye-bye.

05:08Bye-bye.

05:09Bye-bye.

05:10Bye-bye.

05:11Bye-bye.

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