Dave & Chuck the Freak were reading an e-mail from a listener about his itchy butthole when someone texted in about cashews causing the same issue. James has his mind absolutely blown because he learned he was experiencing the exact same thing recently.
00:00this email came in to us this guy says please keep me anonymous i've developed an issue with
00:12my b-hole and yes i've seen a doctor and i am on meds now but what's happening is it gets an
00:20extremely itchy pain that's the best way for me to describe it it's like it's a hankering back
00:27there now i've realized when going to the bathroom and wiping i get such immense relief from a deep
00:33wipe that it becomes almost pleasurable oh almost pleasurable huh not to the point where i'm erect or
00:41anything no but it's definitely pleasurable uh-huh to the point where i almost look forward to the
00:47next time my wife and i have tried some backdoor stuff here and there but i didn't like it kind
00:55of just felt like pressure not pleasurable at all i'm thinking now this wires cross situation may
01:03open this up again when everything's back to normal down there maybe i should give it another go i guess
01:10i'm not looking for advice or anything but maybe just wondering if others have had a wires got cross
01:15situation sexual or not it's how everything bad starts is it's a wired crossed situation normally
01:24normally it's like porn gets your wires crossed um someone said i can't eat cashews because it
01:31gives me itchy b-holes are you kidding me is that on the package a side effect of eating cashews
01:37might give you an itchy butthole is this a legitimate text dave yes do you get it too i have i have you have to ask you be home no this just for christmas my parents got me a huge jar of cashews okay so i've been eating these cashews like crazy and i realized there's a correlation after i'm eating these cashews for like the next four days my butthole itches so bad i had to stop eating cashews
02:04cashews and then when i brought it up my my wife brought it up in front of my sister
02:10oh terrible my sister's like you just need to change your diet the cashews must be breathing out some kind
02:14of weird oil in your body you're allergic to cash so i'm like am i allergic to cashews or is this a thing
02:20that cashews does to your butt thank you whoever texted in yeah this this hit that you were alone
02:26yes you hard james i wondered why you were so i know because i love cashews there you go look at
02:33this let it be known that cashews uh-huh while eaten by the fistful from a giant family-sized container
02:40can cause a furious what is happening right now of the itchy butt
02:45it's almost a quote i just said i've never seen this website before
02:49it was made in 2017 oh my god what is happening
02:53now i don't mean the casual itch an itch so bad you feel the need to furiously scratch and scratch some
03:00more james you never looked this up no i was i just assumed like no i just assumed there's other
03:05stuff going on and it just happened to strike at the same time eating the cashews wow wow
03:11i can't wait to tell my wife this this is a thing that happens look right there there's a picture of them
03:16i almost tweeted i almost was gonna tweet asking for a friend yeah has anybody ever eaten cashews
03:23they got an itchy meal right there cause a furious case of itchy anus oh my god the outer shells of the
03:29cashew contain substances called anacardic acids which are the exact same irritants found
03:35in poison ivy oh that's it
03:38you're you know you're susceptible
03:45oh listen here there's more if the cashew is roasted properly the toxin is deactivated
03:51but giant containers of cashews probably pretty cheap
03:54because they probably
03:56they probably skipped the proper roasting set
04:00properly roasted for the sake of mass production
04:02if you've ever had a bad case of poison ivy which you've had james what try imagining that
04:08feeling affecting your anus instead of your arms or legs
04:11oh so bad that's why i was like
04:12needless to say no more cashews for you
04:15well no wonder his eyeballs game yeah his eyeballs popped out of his head
04:19when you mentioned that
04:21that's the first time i've ever heard that
04:22me too
04:23do you know how many cashews i've eaten
04:25they're in the poison ivy family
04:26i've eaten like
04:26you don't have that you don't you can eat them
04:29i guess not
04:30i don't have the
04:31most people can except james
04:32i'm so conflicting right now
04:33i'm so happy to know that this is a thing
04:35we gotta give him a little
04:36that was a dave hunter knowledge bomb
04:39hashtag
04:41mind blown
04:43ass blown
04:43no joke
04:44ass and mind blown
04:46the smithereens
04:48no more cashews for you
04:50no more poorly roasted cashews
04:56only high end
04:57no more from that one brand
04:59no
04:59you can only buy the little packs
05:03that's hilarious
05:04i like to be like are these cashews properly roasted because
05:10if not the shells you know they contain a poison ivy like substance and it makes my
05:15makes the old uh
05:17b-hole itch
05:18hi uh welcome to costco return department
05:22what causes anal itching
05:23i can't eat these cashews
05:25this kirkland brand
05:27why is that
05:27my ass has been itching out of control
05:29i'm sorry sir what was that
05:31my anus
05:32is itching
05:33so badly
05:35and you're believe our
05:35costco brand
05:37i know it's your costco brand
05:40it's properly roasted cashews
05:41look at this website called retroflexions
05:44from 19
05:45from 2017
05:46from 2017 html
05:48site
05:49oh wow
05:53you told your wife about your itchy ass
05:55yeah
05:55yeah
05:55and she told his sister
05:57yeah
05:58which is crazy
06:00that's crazy
06:01oh you know i did it
06:04you know what i wasn't gonna bring that up but i'm really glad you did with my sister here holding the new baby
06:10i love that you're so close with your wife but i'm just sitting here thinking if i had an itchy ass would i really talk to amber about it like there's certain things that are a mystery and shall remain a mystery i don't know i had to tell her about my experiment i'm like so here's the thing sweetie so i think i've realized when i eat cashews
06:28so uncontrollably
06:28so uncontrollably
06:29uh it's it sucks
06:32yeah
06:33so i haven't eaten cashews for a few days
06:35and i feel fine
06:37yeah
06:37and then i go i'm eating cashews right now
06:39so you see me scratching my ass
06:41how
06:42long does it take
06:44for it to hit your beat
06:46the next day
06:46okay
06:47so it's after
06:48yeah
06:49yeah
06:49someone said james asked
06:51is that a real text
06:52as if you guys somehow knew about his itchy cashew ass
06:55and we're messing with him
06:56his wife gave you the heads up like just so you know hi dave this is james wife just so you know
07:05he told me he had an itchy ass
07:08she's working from home today
07:09because of this
07:10she's not messing with me
07:13uh no yeah no it wasn't it wasn't her
07:15okay
07:15i've never had
07:16the effect
07:18good
07:18or i have had the effect and just never put it together that i was just like oh just another day with an itchy butthole
07:24i'll never look at them the same i will never look at them the same now
07:28i never want to be a cashew inspector i'll tell you that right now
07:31oh my god
07:32yeah and then report back in one day
07:35that was very under roasted
07:37i don't know i mean i'd hire you
07:41i would be like we need a quality control
07:44right
07:44you know immediately that something was up
07:46it's true
07:47well immediately within
07:48i wonder if there is like a bar that has their the nuts they offer at the bar
07:52like just cashews and then you could look around the crowd and see everybody like
07:56they're fidgeting on their stool
07:59they got a face
08:01yeah
08:04the old itchy butt face
08:06look at them all
08:07so if you've encountered that before maybe look into the connection to poorly roasted cashews
