Peep Show: La Barbie

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a notorious cartel hitman who disappeared from a U.S. prison last week and are shocked when they find out his nickname is 'La Barbie'.

Transcript

00:00There's so many of my stories that could have their own intros today.

00:10Should we do a full intro newscast?

00:13No, let's not.

00:14I don't know why we should do that.

00:15I'd say we do.

00:16We've never done this before.

00:17We have all these assets.

00:18Let's see how it goes.

00:20Oh boy, we have too many intros.

00:26Let's break for a Mexican minute.

00:30Yeah, at least it does.

00:31A notorious cartel leader and hitman accused of torturing and decapitating dozens of victims

00:40Yes.

00:41has vanished from the U.S. federal prison system.

00:46Vanished?

00:48Vanished.

00:48Okay, yes.

00:50Despite not being up for release until 2056.

00:54Oh wow, he was supposed to be in there for a while.

00:5749-year-old Edgar Valdez Villarreal, who goes by the name La Barbie.

01:03La Barbie?

01:04That's a great solid nickname.

01:07Yeah.

01:07He's listed...

01:08Make a joke.

01:09Yeah.

01:10Tell me.

01:11What do you think about that in senior day?

01:12He's listed as no longer in custody on the Bureau of Prisons website.

01:20It says he was released about a week and a half ago.

01:23Oh, so you know what he did.

01:25I know what he did.

01:27I know why he's not there.

01:29What does he know?

01:30Like, they just say he's released?

01:35Like, they didn't say he escaped.

01:38They'd be saying he escaped.

01:40He's released.

01:41We don't know where he is?

01:42He's released.

01:43He's in...

01:44He's probably got a new name.

01:46Oh, he's long gone.

01:47You know?

01:48So, like, he gave somebody up.

01:49He turned over something, right?

01:52The guy who decapitates thousands of people is giving up somebody worse than him.

01:58Exactly.

01:59And that means that he's probably...

02:01We never hear from him again.

02:04Listen to this little fact.

02:05Yes?

02:06Born in Texas, Villarreal got his nickname from his high school football coach

02:11who thought his dashing blue eyes made him look like a Ken doll.

02:17You are gorgeous.

02:18You are la Barbie.

02:19You're one of the best football players we have ever seen.

02:22That's great.

02:23And you are as gorgeous as a Barbie doll.

02:27La Barbie's a...

02:28You gotta be pretty tough to go...

02:31Yeah.

02:32Like, how tough are you?

02:33I am la Barbie.

02:36Pardon me?

02:37You're what?

02:38I am la Barbie.

02:39Who?

02:40La Barbie doll.

02:41Like, what?

02:42I am la Barbie doll.

02:44I thought you were, like, a real tough dude.

02:46No, I'm tough.

02:47Yeah, no.

02:48I am a Barbie doll.

02:50Gorgeous eyes.

02:51A polo shirt.

02:53What?

02:53Who are you?

02:54Like a cane.

02:55You're going to want to run away.

02:57That is the toughest looking guy I've ever seen to have a pink Corvette.

03:00Yeah.

03:00This is my little pink Corvette.

03:03What?

03:03You drive that?

03:04That's my little pink Corvette.

03:07La Barbie.

03:08That is my little white Mini Cooper.

03:10Are you kidding me right now?

03:12I got all the cars.

03:13People are afraid of you.

03:15This is my dream home.

03:17That's ridiculous.

03:18La Barbie.

03:19A Barbie dream home?

03:20Exactly.

03:20Got an elevator on the outside.

03:25It goes up to three stories.

03:27And there's a pool on the roof.

03:31You made your house look just like Barbie's dream house.

03:33It looks exactly like a dream house.

03:36Listen, we are about to go make a deal right now with La Barbie.

03:40There is a slide.

03:41This can't be his place.

03:42It's got a pink room.

03:43This is his place, okay?

03:44It's got a pink room.

03:44Don't say anything to him about it.

03:46I am the La Barbie.

03:48It comes with the refrigerator.

03:49He's coming down on the elevator on the outside.

03:52You see him?

03:52Oh my God, it's true.

03:54It is allured by his strength.

03:56That is the Barbie.

03:57Look at the view from the third floor.

03:58Wait, did he just go down a pink slide into the pool?

04:00Ready to the pool!

04:02Hey, cowabunga!

04:04Don't say anything to him about the color scheme of his house.

04:07Okay, fine.

04:08I like pastels.

04:09I like pink.

04:11I like a bright blue.

04:13Only he can use that elevator.

04:15Dude, I never expected a killer to have a place like this.

04:18Yeah, don't say anything or he will decapitate you.

04:22There's my little pink Mini Cooper as well.

04:26It's a great car, La Barbie!

04:28Thank you!

04:29This is such a great masculine car!

04:31Why are you a big man in a little pink car?

04:34Excuse me?

04:35He is a guest from the United States.

04:37Oh, easy.

04:38It's so sad what happened to him.

04:40Yeah, I know.

04:41I told him, I tell him, I say not to say anything.

04:43I told you not to say anything.

04:44Why don't you take him for a swing?

04:46Okay.

04:47We gotta go for a...

04:49Have a good time!

04:50Okay.

04:50Seen your time!

04:52Gotta go for a...

04:53Go, why don't you go into the ocean and see one of my other frames?

04:57You will find part of him, and you will go your whole life saying you found a tumor.

05:02Don't say anything about it, bud.

05:04But it was someone else's jaw.

05:05Oh, there is La Barbie.

05:08Here's some pictures of...

05:10He is gorgeous, isn't he?

05:11Gorgeous is a bit of a stretch.

05:13He's packed on some pounds.

05:15I eat a little bit!

05:16What in a big day?

05:17Don't say anything about his weight.

05:19Am I stealing shape?

05:21You are looking just so physically a feat.

05:24Did someone really compare you to, like, a candle?

05:26Oh, my God.

05:26What?

05:27Yes, of course.

05:28But you're so fat!

05:29What?

05:30You're so fat now.

05:31Oh, he's coming back down.

05:32He's in an elevator again.

05:33You better run!

05:35You better run!

05:36Dave, why did you talk about his weight?

05:38I pushed your butt.

05:39He heard you say that.

05:40He heard you say that about his weight.

05:41Oh, that elevator takes forever.

05:42I can get out of here fast.

05:43It gives him enough time to sharpen his machetes.

05:47Oh, look who it is.

05:48Seen Jordi.

05:49You'll never outrun me in my pituit.

05:52Oh, he's got you now.

05:55That's La Barbie.

05:56Time to take a trip on my Barbie RV.

06:00Look at how the whole front folds down.

06:07Everything I've made.

06:09It'd be crazy if this killer did leave the Barbie life.

06:11Oh, yeah.

06:12Yeah.

06:13It would.

06:13Holy hell.

06:15Yeah.

06:15But we don't know where he is.

06:17He is gone.

06:18I'm sure he's fine.

06:19Gone.

06:21Absolutely nuts.

06:23I hope he hears none of that.

06:26Because he's been released.

06:28Yeah.

06:29I heard of your little radio show.

06:31Listen, I'm a big fan.

06:32Hey.

06:33Lisa, I'm from a new city.

06:36I can't tell you my name.

06:38But I really enjoyed your last little beat.

06:41We're on the run from La Barbie.

06:43Oh, my God.

06:44Yeah.

06:44How crazy would that be?

06:46I think I just saw a pink Minnie quick.

06:48If a pink Minnie Cooper or a little white one goes by.

06:54I know all of it.

06:55Thank God I know it all from Stella.

06:56You had a daughter.

06:57You know her.

06:57Barbie heard us.

06:58Yep.

06:59Thank God.

07:00That's Dave right there.

07:01He's the one who said it all.

07:01Oh, you bastard, James.

07:03Mr. Barbie.

07:04That's the bastard.

07:05Yeah.

07:06Mr. Barbie doll.

07:06Mr. Dave over here.

07:08Hey.

07:08Mr. Barbie doll.

07:09Mr. James, you are a fit man.

07:11Oh, yeah.

07:12Guess who's the new pool boy?

07:14I'm glad you noticed.

07:15I hear you have a very fancy house.

07:17Oh, my God.

07:17Look at your work.

07:18I love all of your photos you have up.

07:21Oh, thank you.

07:22It's nice to feel appreciated.

07:23You will be my king.

07:25Okay.

07:26Love Barbie.

07:27Still missing.

07:27I bet it's not bad.

07:29Yeah, I know.

07:29It's probably...

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