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Unjerkable
Beasley Digital
Follow
4/17/2025
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a massage parlor that a was busted for prostitution and the types of guys that have no choice but to visit the women who work there.
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
I'm beginning to think that 99% of massage parlors will jerk you off.
00:08
I think so.
00:10
Police have arrested two people.
00:12
They're looking for one more involved in what they believe was a prostitution scheme
00:16
at a Detroit area massage parlor in Macomb Township.
00:19
61-year-old Q Liu was the owner.
00:23
Q.
00:24
And manager 52-year-old Lanjun Zhao.
00:29
Zio.
00:30
Zio.
00:30
Have been charged with prostitution, a five-year felony, and using computers to commit a crime,
00:36
a seven-year felony.
00:37
Here's pictures.
00:38
So close to home.
00:39
I don't know who's who.
00:42
That's fine.
00:43
Okay, let me see.
00:44
The owner is Q Liu, and the manager is Lanjun Zhao.
00:46
So they're both about 60?
00:48
One's a guy, though.
00:49
One's a girl.
00:51
The last thing I want is a 60-year-old Asian handjob.
00:58
I'm sorry.
01:00
It is.
01:00
It's the last thing I want.
01:02
There's your choices here today at this massage parlor.
01:04
Who are you taking?
01:05
You're taking the old Asian lady over the Asian dude.
01:06
Well, I am, but I'm just saying I'm not going to that one.
01:10
You know what I mean?
01:10
This is what shocks us the most.
01:13
Every time we do one of these stories, they're all old and ugly.
01:17
It's not anyone you'd want jerking you off.
01:19
Right.
01:19
No, it's not.
01:21
I don't understand how guys could be this desperate.
01:23
I don't need a 60-year-old Asian lady to jerk me off.
01:26
I don't.
01:27
I'm not going to pay for it.
01:28
No.
01:29
No.
01:30
There's a lot of people listening to this show that I'm sure have had ugly people jerk
01:33
them off.
01:34
Yeah.
01:35
Well, almost everyone has, yeah.
01:37
But I mean, and paid for it.
01:38
Oh, okay.
01:39
That's different.
01:40
Because I believe there are people listening to this show that have used these services.
01:43
Right?
01:44
Oh.
01:45
Yeah.
01:45
Absolutely.
01:45
Right?
01:46
Yes.
01:47
But I can't figure out why.
01:48
Why would you let a 61-year-old nasty Asian girl touch you?
01:55
Probably guys that no one else will do it.
01:57
Right.
01:57
That's what they, the only option they have.
01:59
Oh, that is a tragedy.
02:00
I don't know.
02:00
I mean, that's what it's got to be, right?
02:02
You know what?
02:02
No one else is going to touch my dick on the planet?
02:04
You know what?
02:05
At least I think sometimes, like, obviously I think you're probably right, but I think
02:09
there are some dudes that are just like, they're into just the weirdness of it or
02:15
like the taboo nature of it.
02:18
And that's why they do it.
02:21
You know, they're the same, like, everyone knows the guy who like doesn't care at all about
02:25
what the girl looks like.
02:26
Right.
02:26
You know what I mean?
02:27
They're like, uh, they're out there.
02:29
There's a lot of really disgusting guys out there, though, too.
02:32
A hole's a hole.
02:32
And every group of like five dudes, there's always like one guy that like by the end of
02:36
the night, he'll take whatever.
02:37
Yeah.
02:38
But there's a lot of like really gross guys that can't get anything.
02:41
Yeah.
02:41
I mean, it's just, there's got to be.
02:43
Yeah, you're right.
02:44
That's the only explanation is that you can't find anyone else to touch your dong.
02:48
So a 61-year-old Asian lady, you're going to pay to do it.
02:51
Just think about some of the people you see throughout life, in your day-to-day life.
02:55
I think about them getting jerked off.
02:56
Think about them just making it easy to go have that done.
02:59
It's not easy.
03:00
Yeah.
03:00
That is so true.
03:01
That's a good point.
03:02
You're out there just living life and you're looking around and you're like, nobody would
03:05
jerk him off.
03:06
I've never had that pop into my head before, but now it's going to.
03:09
Yeah, now I will.
03:10
We're going to play jerk off or not.
03:11
Hey, look, guys.
03:13
Guys, look over there.
03:14
It's one of those dudes Lisa was talking about.
03:17
No one would kiss him off.
03:19
He's an unjerkable.
03:20
They're out there.
03:21
Yeah.
03:21
He's an unjerkable.
03:23
Unjerkable.
03:23
It's a poor army.
03:24
He's an unjerkable.
03:26
Unjerkable.
03:26
Now I want to play unjerkable.
03:28
Let's play unjerkable.
03:32
What a great game show.
03:35
He's unjerkable.
03:36
I mean, except for the contestants.
03:37
Except for the contestants.
03:39
But this is right.
03:40
There are unjerkables lurking everywhere.
03:42
I've seen so many.
03:43
So, so many unjerkables.
03:45
So many.
03:46
The unjerkable.
03:48
Unjerkables.
03:49
You can play it at the airport.
03:51
You can play it at the mall.
03:52
Well, the airport's the best place to spot unjerkables.
03:55
Unjerkables.
03:56
Everybody needs to fly somewhere sometimes.
03:58
Oh, man.
03:59
And play the unjerkables.
04:00
There you go.
04:01
There's your good road trip game.
04:03
Yeah.
04:04
It is a good game.
04:06
It's actually a fun game.
04:07
It has the time.
04:07
It is.
04:08
It's a fun game.
04:09
Get off your phone for a minute.
04:10
The person who finds the most unjerkables wins.
04:12
Well, and the thing is, I love the argument, too, of like, where someone's like, that person's
04:17
unjerkable.
04:17
And someone's like, wait a second.
04:19
Yeah.
04:20
Are you sure?
04:20
I don't think so.
04:21
I don't think that's a true.
04:23
It's usually a clear-cut case.
04:24
Yeah, I know.
04:25
You're right.
04:25
I know.
04:26
There's no debate.
04:27
Yeah.
04:27
It's open or closed.
04:28
Yeah.
04:29
Right?
04:30
Unjerkable.
04:30
Right.
04:31
You got it.
04:31
I never have thought about that before, so next time I go to the grocery store or something,
04:35
I'm going to be like, hmm.
04:37
Look at that guy.
04:38
Somebody.
04:39
Nobody's going to jerk him off.
04:41
And you know what?
04:42
What a weird thing to think.
04:43
What about going up to him and being like, hey.
04:46
Unjerkable, huh?
04:47
I know.
04:48
Be honest with me.
04:48
I'm trying to figure something out.
04:50
Can you find anybody to jerk you off anywhere?
04:56
Or are you completely unjerkable?
04:58
It's all funny games when somebody comes up to you and says that.
05:01
Oh, yeah.
05:02
Hey, are you unjerkable?
05:03
Hey, hey.
05:03
I'm unjerkable.
05:06
Unjerkable.
05:07
Unjerkable.
05:09
I've had many a jerk.
05:10
Oh, man.
05:12
Oh, God, Chuck.
05:13
You'd be devastated if someone called you an unjerkable.
05:15
Oh, it wouldn't shock me.
05:17
It wouldn't shock me.
05:18
Luckily, none of us are unjerkable.
05:20
I feel like we're jerkable.
05:22
Yeah, absolutely.
05:23
We're unjerkable.
05:23
Thank God.
05:23
We can go out there and say we're jerkable.
05:25
Thank goodness.
05:26
No one involved with this show is unjerkable.
05:27
That's right.
05:28
That is right.
05:30
Yeah.
05:30
You should get that on a billboard.
05:31
I feel like my stock just went up banks.
05:34
Yeah, well, that's true.
05:36
We're talking about the worst of the worst.
05:38
You can't even imagine what their dicks look like.
05:40
No, honestly.
05:41
Think about unjerkable.
05:45
It's terrible.
05:46
I mean, it's bad.
05:47
It's terrible.
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