Kleenex Robber

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about people being tied up for non sexual reasons which leads to a caller sharing a story about a robber who used tissue as a mask.

Transcript

00:00all right uh off to detroit now where i'm sure uh when you work at a walgreens in detroit

00:13being robbed and tied up is not the best day of your life oh no being tied up during a robbery

00:19would be terrifying well because i feel like that's the the step right before we're all gonna die

00:24yeah you know i've seen enough videos to know when your hands are tied up it's what's the deal

00:30though they just want you like they want to just ransack the place i don't know maybe you're just

00:35trying to buy time you know imagine like working anywhere down there would just suck no just what's

00:43the matter andy i work at the walgreens in detroit definitely they use zip ties

00:53in this case yep that's the other way too mm-hmm i think i could well if we had zip ties we could

01:01test it but too bad we don't i'll bring mine in i'll take chuck to tie you up i've got 24 inch

01:09all right zip ties at home i'll bring them in i'll tie you i'll tie your ass up

01:16today i came with chuck the freak how fast can chuck tie us up not tying me up

01:23i'm tying you up i'm out of this that's not the first time she said that

01:27do you think there's anyone listening that's ever been tied up oh yeah besides for sexual purposes

01:36like outside of sex it's probably too early to get a whole bunch of people but if there's

01:42anyone listening who's ever been tied up outside of something sexual in a robbery in a robbery we're

01:47gonna talk about a terrifying horrible situation yes they were in 248-544-WRIF they're not dead

01:54248-544-9743 how are you in a terrible horrifying situation zip tie tips

02:00all comedy comes from pain pain and zip ties i'll tell you what though these zip ties tie your asses

02:13up uh tara from wyandotte last time you were tied up non-sexually keep trying hi guys good morning

02:18good morning hey it was actually not me it was my mom she worked at like a money loan place in

02:25lincoln park about i don't know 10 years ago and someone walked in like he had a cold and my mom

02:32being my mom offered him a kleenex and he took the kleenex and covered his face with it and ended up

02:38robbing the entire store and it was just my mom and her one co-worker that were there at the time

02:43and he held them at gunpoint and he told them that they had 30 seconds to empty the drawer and he

02:49chewed them well they ended up emptying out all the money in the entire store except the money that was

02:55in their purses and before he left he tied them up so that way you know they couldn't call or hit the

03:01silent alarm or anything well that's the worst disguise i've ever heard of though pardon me can i pass

03:08me a tissue yeah hey they're being robbed i forgot a final piece to my robbery one tissue to cover my face

03:18if i borrow this

03:19chuck has a kleenex over his face i don't know who that is

03:35never recognize you

03:38we have no way of knowing who it is

03:40i better get another cleaner

03:43don't waste all my kleenex i don't have very many of those

03:47we couldn't determine his hair color because he's on top of his head

03:51you'll never know who i am

03:53give me all your stuff

03:56completely unidentifiable

03:58you know we saw you a second ago without the kleenex

04:01no you didn't

04:05yeah

04:06no because i just got you

04:07here at the cash and go

04:08no i just got you that was another guy

04:10no that was you we added you to kleenex

04:12that was another guy now shut up

04:14zip time andy

04:15i got it

04:16i need some kleenex too

04:18yeah you do

04:19i'm exposed

04:20yeah you do you're dead

04:21i'm exposed

04:22you better not tell anybody who i is

04:24oh at least i'll help you out

04:25now you have no idea who we are

04:28we should have thought about this

04:30these are these smell amazing

04:33they do

04:33it's the lisa kleenex

04:34lisa kleenex

04:35that's why i don't even want to rob a place anymore

04:38i know

04:38it's going to blow my nose

04:39it made me rethink the whole thing

04:42you know what you guys just go

04:44i'm good now

04:47the gift was this kleenex

04:51oh mine ripped

04:52be careful man

04:56the jig is up

04:56wow really

05:00a kleenex as a disguise is a really horrible idea

05:03it's a really horrible idea

05:05chuck doesn't smell anything

05:07you don't smell anything

05:08maybe my sense of smell is just awful

05:11it's like a

05:12i literally need to blow my nose

05:13yeah it's good

05:13you're good

05:16i don't know

05:17i can't smell it

05:18it just smells like normal kleenex

05:20really

05:20i guess i never noticed

05:22we're sniffing kleenex

05:25what happened here

05:28it smells fresh

05:29there's one guy right now listening

05:30and trying to decide whether or not to listen to us

05:33and i got a kleenex on my hand

05:35and i'm sniffing the other one

05:36and i got a kleenex on my hand

05:40thank you

05:40you

05:41you

05:43you

05:44you

05:45you

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