Shake It High

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a guy who was confronted about some questionable motions he was making in his car and Lisa is skeptical of his protein shake defense.

Transcript

00:00Time for our pervert of the day.

00:09A woman in Lincoln, Nebraska told cops she saw a guy in a white Mazda

00:14pleasuring himself outside a gas station last Wednesday.

00:20But they weren't able to catch him.

00:23Then another woman called 911 about 6.45 in the morning this Monday

00:26and reported the same thing outside a convenience store.

00:30A guy jerking off in a white Mazda.

00:32Yeah.

00:33They found out the car belonged to a 21-year-old dude named Nathan Grimes

00:36who totally fit the description.

00:38They went to his house to ask him about it,

00:41and he claimed the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding.

00:46He said, oh yeah, I was in my car at the convenience store that morning.

00:50Yeah.

00:51But I wasn't jerking off.

00:53No.

00:54What did he say he was doing?

00:56He was simply mixing his protein shake.

00:59Oh.

01:00Right at his crotch level.

01:01Yeah.

01:01You gotta shake that.

01:02You gotta shake that.

01:04That's what.

01:05You're stirring it.

01:05You're not stirring it.

01:06Oh, he was shaking.

01:08Oh, shaking, not stirred.

01:09Shaking his protein shake.

01:10Oh, he's just gotta shake that protein.

01:12Oh, look, some protein got on the window.

01:15You know those shaker bottles you get at like GMC or whatever?

01:18Yeah.

01:19Shaking it up is what he said he was doing.

01:21You know what, though?

01:22I mean.

01:23If you get, I'm not going to defend this pervert, but if I'm in my car, Chuck,

01:27like, all right?

01:27Yeah, yeah.

01:27I can't see you.

01:28And I'm.

01:30Yeah.

01:30No, there's times you've had some stuff in here where I was pretty sure you were jerking

01:34it.

01:34It's a pretty graphic scene there, Dave.

01:36It is.

01:36Dave really likes to mix that up.

01:37Yeah.

01:38You gotta do, if you're doing that.

01:39Hey, stop making a face.

01:40I'm not going to do it, actually.

01:41That's our video today.

01:42No, no, no.

01:43I got wise really quick.

01:45How do you do it?

01:46How would you do it?

01:47Would you like?

01:47No, but you probably hold it up.

01:48Stop it.

01:50Oh, my God.

01:52Pepper grinder.

01:54Lisa mixes her protein a little differently.

01:55There's ways that you could do it.

01:56He's full of crap.

02:01Lisa, do you spit on your hand before you shake up your protein shake?

02:04Oh, my God.

02:05What?

02:06You guys don't do that?

02:12Lisa.

02:13I do.

02:14I guess you do.

02:17Protein shake.

02:18Yeah, you gotta mix it up.

02:18Yeah, it's gotta be moist.

02:20You gotta have a moist hand.

02:21Yeah.

02:22Everyone knows that.

02:25I'm just saying, like, if he was really doing, you know, had a shake, it would be totally different.

02:29He could.

02:30He wasn't.

02:31That's my point.

02:31Well, Lisa.

02:32Okay, look.

02:33My shake, right?

02:33Yeah, but just hold it up high.

02:35Hold it up higher.

02:35I'm not gonna shake it up here.

02:36Hold it with two hands.

02:37Well, you better.

02:38No, I'm shaking it here.

02:39Hold it up with the window level.

02:42So, if you're gonna shake something, you gotta be like, shaking it up like this.

02:44No, there you go.

02:45I'm not shaking it up.

02:46I'm not shaking it up.

02:47There you go.

02:48I'm not working in the cocktail.

02:50You're like Tom Cruise in cocktail.

02:51I'm just making my protein shake down here.

02:53Yeah, I'm just.

02:54This is all I'm doing.

02:56No, no.

02:57Not that.

02:57Yeah.

02:58Yeah.

02:59I'm running one of the chips.

02:59Don't do that.

03:00No.

03:01Up high.

03:02Up high.

03:02Oh, God.

03:03It won't shake.

03:04They were just shaking protein shakes, I swear.

03:09Yeah, I have a beard and hair like this, so I have to shake everything up high so nobody

03:13thinks I'm jerking off anywhere.

03:14Everything up high, right?

03:15Anything I shake, I gotta shake it up high.

03:17Oh, see, I don't think I'm a perv, so I don't.

03:20I shake low.

03:20Don't shake low.

03:22Don't shake low.

03:22Don't shake low, shake high.

03:24Don't shake low.

03:24Don't sleep.

03:24The cops will get called.

03:27If I shake low to jail, I go.

03:28Look how stupid this looks.

03:29Yeah, I know.

03:30I'm shaking my protein shake.

03:31That's what you do.

03:32No.

03:32Well, okay.

03:35You go to jail.

03:36Please.

03:37Please.

03:38You have to guess.

03:39What am I simulating right now?

03:42It's gonna be...

03:43But there's not...

03:43No.

03:44No.

03:44You have to guess.

03:45Just guess what's Chuck doing now.

03:46What am I simulating right now?

03:47Let's play what's Chuck doing.

03:49I can't even see anything.

03:50Right.

03:51So what am I doing?

03:52I don't know.

03:53Am I jerking it or am I mixing a protein shake?

03:55If it's you, you don't work out and you wouldn't drink a protein shake, so you're jerking it.

04:00You got it.

04:00She got it.

04:01Way to go, Lisa.

04:02She got it.

04:03Congratulations.

04:04She got it.

04:05She's good.

04:06She's good.

04:07The first ever winner on, is Chuck jerking it?

04:08Yeah.

04:09Or makes a protein shake.

04:10What?

04:11He's simulating.

04:14I win every time.

04:16I'm jerking it every time.

04:17Every time.

04:18Not doing anything else.

04:19Is Chuck making pudding?

04:21Or jerking it?

04:22Jerking it.

04:25Jerking it.

04:26Jerking it.

04:27You got it.

04:27He was jerking it again.

04:28He's always jerking it.

04:29You got it.

04:31I'm a low shaker.

04:32You're a low shaker.

04:33You are a low shaker.

04:33You really are.

04:34I shake my coffee every day like this.

04:36Would you shake it in the car?

04:37No, listen.

04:38If I needed to, I'd shake it anyway, Lisa.

04:39Have you ever done that?

04:41Because I'm sure you've had shakes like that before.

04:42Listen, I am telling you right now.

04:44Yeah, every morning.

04:45I used to have one.

04:47You would do that in the car.

04:48Listen, where do I sit?

04:49Yes, I would.

04:50No, you wouldn't.

04:50Lisa, I would fill up.

04:52I'd put the stuff in the car.

04:52You would shake that at home.

04:54No, I shake it wherever I am.

04:56I don't care where I am.

04:57I'll shake it wherever I'm at.

04:59And I'll tell you this right now, that I guarantee you that I've looked over at Dave, and because

05:04of where his computer is, I've seen him do that, and I laugh to myself.

05:08Looks like Dave's jerking off right now.

05:11Because he is a low shaker.

05:13He is a low shaker.

05:14He's a low shaker.

05:15He does not cocktail it.

05:17Lisa shakes it high.

05:18I'm just saying.

05:19He starts shaking it high.

05:20He knocks the whole riff down.

05:21Yeah, exactly.

05:22As a precautionary way to go about life, you should shake it high.

05:27Listen.

05:28Listen.

05:29Listen.

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