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We Bullied The FDA Into Letting Us Straight Up No Give You That Information
Cracked
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4/2/2025
If Soda Commercials Were Honest #shorts #soda #fda #truth #parody #youtubeshorts
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Fun
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00:00
If you knew how much sugar a human is supposed to consume in a day, very little,
00:05
and how much sugar is in one bottle of wet sugar, lots, you probably wouldn't drink it.
00:10
And we want you to drink it.
00:12
So we bullied the FDA into letting us straight up not give you that information.
00:17
But if you're really concerned, we can put the word diet somewhere on the can
00:22
and replace the piles of natural sugar with chemicals that are
00:26
so incompatible with human biology that our bodies don't even metabolize them.
00:35
That's gonna slide right through me.
00:39
Luckily, we're pretty sure these chemicals don't cause any lasting damage,
00:44
well except bladder cancer in laboratory animals,
00:47
and other kinds of cancer in other laboratory animals.
00:51
But you're a human, so f**k it.
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