A slow news day is a real thing

We don't have dick to tell you. #shorts #youtubeshorts #news #cracked #comedy #parody

Transcript

00:00Tonight, we don't have anything new to tell you.

00:02That's right. It's what we like to call a slow news day.

00:06A slow news day is a real thing. Sometimes we just don't have dick to share with you.

00:11I mean, how much can you really come up with in a 24-hour news cycle?

00:14Even if our reporters try and fail to cover multiple different stories that fall through

00:18all in one day, we still force-feed a story down their throats because

00:22we gotta get some bullshit on the air.

00:24Anything to fill the black between commercial breaks.

00:27And according to a new Pew Research study, people still view local news in a positive light.

00:32Incredibly, 71% of Americans believe we report the news accurately.

00:37No fucking way that's right, Roger. I don't have the numbers in front of me,

00:40but it's my opinion that Americans are generally idiots.

00:42Both can be true, Rachel, which is why we know they'll continue to trust us no matter what we

00:47tell them. You know how we know that?

00:50How?

00:50Because 63% of Americans also believe we're transparent.

00:57What?