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Library Life Lessons
Proving Ground
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8/30/2024
From "The REAL College Survival Guide" by Kevin Lawson
Category
😹
Fun
Transcript
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00:00
You know, when I first signed up for the college work-study program, I thought I was making a smart move.
00:06
I envisioned myself as this responsible, industrious student, juggling classes, and a job like a pro.
00:13
I pictured myself in a crisp, button-up shirt, sipping coffee while I filed papers in some pristine office,
00:20
maybe even impressing my future boss with my impeccable organizational skills.
00:25
Spoiler alert! None of that happened.
00:28
Instead, I found myself in the basement of the library,
00:32
surrounded by stacks of books that looked like they hadn't been touched since the invention of the printing press.
00:38
My job? Shelving books. And not just any books.
00:43
These were the dusty, forgotten relics of academia.
00:46
I swear, I stumbled upon a tome that was literally older than my grandparents.
00:52
I half expected it to start whispering secrets about the universe or something.
00:57
Now, let me tell you about the library basement.
01:01
It's like the Bermuda Triangle of college life.
01:04
You enter, and suddenly, you lose all sense of time.
01:08
I'd go down there thinking,
01:10
OK, I'll just shelve a few books and then head to my 2 p.m. class.
01:15
Next thing I knew, I was knee-deep in a philosophical debate with a statue of Socrates.
01:21
I mean, who knew that a guy who lived in ancient Greece could have such strong opinions about modern education?
01:28
And the books. Oh, the books.
01:31
I quickly learned that the Dewey Decimal System is not just a method of organization.
01:37
It's a cruel joke.
01:39
I'd be standing there, staring at a shelf,
01:42
trying to figure out if the history of cheese belonged in the 600s or the 700s.
01:49
I felt like I was in a twisted game of Literary Twister, and I was losing.
01:55
I'd pull out a book, and it would be like a game of Jenga.
01:59
One wrong move, and the whole shelf would come crashing down.
02:04
Then there were my co-workers.
02:06
Let's just say that Quirky doesn't even begin to cover it.
02:10
There was this one guy, let's call him Dave, who took his job way too seriously.
02:17
which would have been charming if he didn't also insist on quoting Shakespeare while shelving.
02:23
To be or not to be?
02:25
Oh, this goes in the 800s.
02:28
I mean, I appreciate a good literary reference,
02:31
but I was just trying to figure out where the heck the cookbooks went.
02:35
And don't even get me started on the patrons.
02:38
You'd think people would be quiet in a library, right?
02:41
Wrong.
02:42
I once had to shush a group of students who were debating the merits of pineapple on pizza.
02:47
I mean, come on.
02:49
I'm trying to focus on the existential crisis of the history of cheese over here,
02:54
and you're talking about toppings?
02:56
But the real kicker came during finals week.
03:00
The library was packed, and I was on duty to help students find their study materials.
03:05
I was feeling pretty good about myself, thinking I was the hero of the day.
03:10
That is, until I accidentally directed a frantic student to the wrong section.
03:15
Instead of finding advanced calculus, he ended up with The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe.
03:22
I mean, sure, it's a classic, but not exactly what he needed at that moment.
03:27
I could practically hear his brain short-circuiting
03:30
as he tried to figure out how the telltale heart was going to help him with integrals.
03:36
In the end, I learned that the work-study program was less about gaining experience
03:41
and more about embracing the chaos of college life.
03:45
I may not have emerged as the organized, responsible adult I envisioned,
03:50
but I did gain a treasure trove of stories.
03:54
I learned that sometimes the best education comes not from textbooks,
03:59
but from the absurdity of life in the library basement,
04:02
where the only thing more confusing than the Dewey Decimal System
04:06
is trying to explain to a student why cheese has its own history.
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