A Sea Of Chocolate Milks: Lunchroom Monitor Confidential

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00:00A sea of chocolate milks, lunchroom monitor confidential.

00:04Serving the public good on the grade school,

00:06student council was a perk limited to two fortunate students per classroom.

00:11The chosen few manned the bookstore in the mornings,

00:13helped in the central office, or in my case, became lunchroom monitors.

00:18As a sixth grader, this meant being the only gulliver in a gymnasium

00:22filled with first-grade Lilliputs.

00:24I accepted the challenge.

00:26Most of the time, the job involved crowd control,

00:29with the occasional Shell Answer Man moments thrown in.

00:33We politely but firmly pointed out where the lunch-packing sheep could graze,

00:38and made sure they returned their trays to the proper hair-netted authorities.

00:42However, there was one situation that took up almost all of our time,

00:46and it only cost a nickel.

00:49Milk cartons.

00:51Opening a chocolate milk carton at age six required motor skill

00:54usually reserved for age seven or above.

00:57The milks would hit the tables, and immediately, a sea of hands shot up.

01:01Monitors dutifully went from child to child, bending and unfolding every carton.

01:07Once in a while, we had a rogue me-do-it-myself,

01:10but it only took one launch failure to bring him back to the fold.

01:14These kids today.