Petting Zoos: Can We Finally Stop Calling Them Fun?

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00:00Petting zoos, can we finally stop calling them fun?

00:04Petting zoos were always on the short list of budget-friendly things to do on a 1970s Saturday,

00:10along with matinee movies, skating rinks, mall crawling, and bowling.

00:15However, the petting zoo was the only option that could end with fecal matter and gauze bandages.

00:21The main takeaway from petting zoos was that really smelly animals can have bad days, too.

00:26Petting zoos sounded so good on paper.

00:28We'd get to spend quality time with domesticated farm animals,

00:32and they wouldn't have to produce eggs, milk, or meat for a while.

00:37Win, win.

00:39But petting zoo residents weren't the usual breed of goat or sheep.

00:43Endless hours of unsolicited petting had left them bitter and cynical.

00:47We weren't children to them.

00:49We were dried corn delivery systems.

00:51Never let them see the cup.

00:54I don't blame the captives at a petting zoo for taking the occasional ounce of flesh

00:57or chewing a random piece of clothing.

01:00They didn't ask for this assignment,

01:02and I would probably do the same thing if I were in their position.

01:06I would hope the vending machines were filled with slices of pizza, though.

01:11Go ahead and pet me, kid. I've got nothing but time.