Jackass - S03E08 Bloody Carpet - Vídeo Dailymotion

Cinefilos Inquietos

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Transcript

00:00Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass.

00:30Phil gets off work in 15 minutes and I have 20 paintballs up in his biatch and he's going to die.

00:53Phil, I'm going to take it out on you now.

01:00I just got shot in the foot. Phil, I got shot in the foot. I was just testing it out. It felt like this.

01:25I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is wire tubing.

01:30It felt like this is a wire tubing.

01:33It felt like this is a wire tubing.

01:37This is a wire tubing.

01:42Oh my God.

01:46Oh my God.

01:47Thanks.

01:49Begging at home about what to do.

01:55I see I'm strong.

01:58And I'm not so strong.

02:01I should have known our love at times.

02:05I wouldn't tell.

02:07A week at you.

02:10Love I don't get.

02:13Two weeks at you and I still have got

02:18hope for you, yeah.

02:21Vacation all I ever wanted.

02:24Vacation has to get away.

02:27Vacation with your peace and love.

02:33Vacation all I ever wanted.

02:36Vacation has to get away.

02:39Vacation with your peace and love.

02:48dad, help me.

02:56Oh shit!

02:58I don't know.

03:28I don't know.

03:58I don't know.

04:27I don't know.

04:57I don't know.

05:27I don't know.

05:57I don't know.

06:27I don't know.

06:57I don't know.

07:27I don't know.

07:57I don't know.

08:27I don't know.

08:57I don't know.

09:27I don't know.

09:28I don't know.

09:29I don't know.

09:31I don't know.

09:32I don't know.

09:33I don't know.

09:35I don't know.

09:36I don't know.

09:37I don't know.

09:39I don't know.

09:40I don't know.

09:41I don't know.

09:42I don't know.

09:43I don't know.

09:44I don't know.

09:45I don't know.

09:47I don't know.

09:48I don't know.

09:49I don't know.

09:50I don't know.

09:51I don't know.

09:52I don't know.

09:53I don't know.

09:54I don't know.

09:55I don't know.

09:56I don't know.

09:57I don't know.

09:58I don't know.

09:59I don't know.

10:00I don't know.

10:01I don't know.

10:02I don't know.

10:03I don't know.

10:04I don't know.

10:05I don't know.

10:06What's your name there?

10:07Johnny.

10:08Johnny?

10:09Yeah.

10:10Wait on.

10:11I'm Sergio.

10:12I'm supposed to ride around with you.

10:13And you're going to train me for a little while.

10:14So I don't know if you want to just do a couple laps.

10:16So they told you I was going to train you?

10:19Yeah.

10:20Uh, this is my first day.

10:22First day of working for , they got you training me on your first day?

10:25Yeah.

10:26Good lord.

10:27Here, why don't we get me and the end of me driving, yeah.

10:30You want this thing?

10:31Yeah.

10:32Yeah, I just want to learn as much as I can.

10:35All right, let's rock and roll.

10:45How does it handle these speed bumps?

10:47It doesn't handle it.

10:48Whoa.

10:49Very well.

10:51You have to be real careful of this thing, OK?

10:53Oh, yeah, no, I don't want to get us in trouble.

10:56I'm going to go on the sidewalks.

10:58Oh, OK.

10:59Johnny, I'm all done, man, for the day.

11:00Thanks a lot, man.

11:01I appreciate it, dude.

11:02No problem at all.

11:02Well, I'll probably see you tomorrow.

11:04OK, we'll see you later.

11:04Cool.

11:07That was awesome, dude.

11:32Bye-bye.

11:36We'll see you later.

11:38Bye-bye.

11:40Bye.

11:40Bye-bye.

11:42Bye-bye.

11:43Bye-bye.

11:47Bye.

11:48Bye-bye.

11:51Bye-bye.

11:54Bye-bye.

12:00Bye-bye.

12:00I don't care about you

12:04I don't see you

12:06Oh man, have a heart attack in Manhattan

12:09We died or we just stood there

12:13Ain't no help

12:15I don't care about you

12:19I don't care about you

12:24Ain't no help

12:26I don't care about you

12:30I'm Dave

12:40And I'm Aaron

12:41And this is Tandem Snowboarding

13:00And this is Tandem Snowboarding

13:13And this is Tandem Snowboarding

13:19And this is Tandem Snowboarding

13:33It's the only one girl.

13:59Come on, Cossack.

14:00It's one of the last shows.

14:01Just shave your head.

14:03F*** you, man.

14:04Dude, you look good bald already.

14:06You know that.

14:06So, I should do this.

14:08Do what?

14:08Shave my head.

14:09Of course.

14:10Oh, you know what he does?

14:12He gets bald and he gets the thing bald and he gets a toupee and he bends over and his

14:18toupee falls off in front of people.

14:19Oh, there it is.

14:20There's the skit.

14:21Let's shoot.

14:23Okay.

14:24You need to start massaging this gal.

14:26Sorry, sorry, sorry.

14:37If you want to back out, that's fine.

14:39Does that hurt?

14:51I'm healed.

14:52That's it.

14:53We got to get Cossack a nice toupee.

14:58Is this right?

14:59Perfect.

15:00It doesn't feel like it fits.

15:02It fits perfect.

15:03It's like Duran Duran.

15:04Oh, yeah.

15:08Oh, excuse me.

15:11Oh, no.

15:15Oh, no.

15:28Oh, no.

15:31Oh, no.

15:32Oh, no.

15:33Today, Jack Pollock and I are doing the bloody carpet.

15:55We have a bloody mess here and we have a carpet cleaner come over and see if he'll clean it

16:01up for us.

16:02We have this big spot over here, I don't know if it's going to come out or what.

16:09What is it?

16:10My roommate Steve is a dog, I think it's in the heat or something.

16:17You'll be able to get it out, won't you?

16:29I'm going to have the hand, it looks more real from this side.

16:36What is it?

16:37Jack can I talk?

16:38Yeah.

16:39Excuse me.

16:43Excuse me.

16:44You know it's funny, a couple of days ago I was watching the Discovery Channel and you know

16:50this guy that killed a lot of people and they put him on the free?

16:57I'm not telling you this happened here but I'm just telling you.

16:58Yeah.

16:59Dude, please I'm taking care of you.

17:00I'm taking care of you.

17:01You do not want to here.

17:02You do not want to here.

17:03You do not want to here.

17:04I got pepper spray, I got pepper spray.

17:09You did it.

17:10You did it.

17:11You did it.

17:12You did it.

17:13It's okay.

17:14He's alright.

17:15He's alright.

17:16Just go upstairs.

17:18Let's just get up.

17:19I got to call my boss man.

17:21You know,eg what's that?

17:22I mean uh.

17:23His dog or you know.

17:35Oh well, it's lovely.

17:36What do you mean, you did it?

17:39I got pepper spray.

17:40I got pepper spray.

17:41You did it.

17:42I got pepper spray.

17:43You did it.

17:44You did it.

17:46I mean, what do you mean when he's saying he...

17:48Well, I mean, uh, his dog or whatever, you know, it's his dog.

17:53Jack, what's going on?

17:54What?

17:55What's going on, Jack?

17:56Nothing.

17:57It's all right.

17:59Dude, is it that f***ing cleaning guy?

18:00What?

18:01Yeah.

18:02Quiet, will ya?

18:06You're not taking care of his f***ing care of me.

18:08You're not taking care of his f***ing.

18:09Shut up.

18:10I don't care whose mess it is, get him out.

18:12Or you're next.

18:14Yeah.

18:15Okay.

18:15I need to call my pastor.

18:16Listen, she wish I had to report her back to tell her what's going on.

18:19No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

18:20It's okay, man.

18:21Let him go, Jack.

18:22Just let him do the f***ing.

18:23Just here.

18:23Let him do the business.

18:24He'll keep his new self.

18:26I'll help you out.

18:28Hey, listen, Jackie.

18:30It's okay.

18:30I'm going to leave the voicemail to you, okay?

18:32It's all right.

18:33It's okay.

18:34You don't have to call in.

18:37What the?

18:38Come on, why is he still here?

18:39All right, man.

18:42All right, Josh.

18:43I think it's best if you can just go.

18:48Just go ahead.

18:50Get out.

18:50Get out, man.

18:52Just go.

18:52Where's your money?

18:54I'll pay you right now.

18:56How much is it?

18:58If you know what's good for you, you'll keep this to yourself.

19:01Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Dottie Barnett.

19:08And today, I am 90 years old.

19:11You all right?

19:12Yeah.

19:12Okay, you're right.

19:14Ah!

19:14I let my mustache do the talking.

19:19Ooh.

19:21I let the mustache do the talking.

19:24Ooh.

19:25We'll have to draw your mustache if you're going to sing a song like this.

19:28I do not need one.

19:29Want to tell me why you were just jaywalking right here?

19:32I just jaywalked?

19:33Well, yeah.

19:33I didn't see a pedestrian crossing right there.

19:36But I have to cross the street.

19:37Base, base.

19:38You in?

19:40Yeah, come here.

19:40Who's this?

19:40Kowalski?

19:41Oh, I got a runner.

19:42Oh, I got a runner.

20:12I wasn't dancing in the strip club for money.

20:15I'd be dancing in the strip club for free.

20:20That's the way it'll always be.

Jackass - S03E08 Bloody Carpet

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