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00:00Everybody be quiet.
00:02Say it.
00:04Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass.
00:07Uh-uh.
00:09Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass.
00:11I can't do it!
00:13Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass.
00:17Oh!
00:19Don't, don't, don't. Come on, Mom.
00:21Jackass.
00:30Oh, my God, you're sick!
00:48My name's Johnny Knoxville, and today I'm going to try and glue myself to a steel beam by my helmet.
00:56It's olive oil, human hair, and hot sauce.
01:01What a glorious little sludge.
01:04I'm going to kill myself.
01:13This is the glue helmet.
01:15I'm going to kill you.
01:15I'm going to kill you.
01:16I'm going to kill you.
01:17I'm going to kill you.
01:18I'm going to kill you.
01:34He's going to pop a band in his forehead.
01:36He's going to fall.
01:38Hang on!
01:39At least what he saw.
01:40I'm going to hang!
01:40It falls straight and falls.
01:41Well, he knows where he's going to fall.
01:43it's spicy
01:54it smells spicy
01:57oh I feel like causing it
02:00dude I'm sorry
02:05my knee
02:07don't fuck with me
02:09you're not going to pass on the bridge
02:13this is going to hurt
02:39he hit me right in the chin
02:53jump in the shower and the blood start
02:55on the streets
02:57the traffic starts jumping to folks like me
02:59on the job from 9 to 5
03:01walking 9 to 5
03:05what a way to make a living
03:07when they put them to the side
03:09try touching and won't give it
03:12they'll just use your mind
03:14they'll never give you credit
03:16it's a lot that's fine
03:18crazy if you say it
03:21mine to the fire
03:23for service and devotion
03:25you would think that I
03:27would deserve a bad promotion
03:30want to move ahead
03:32but the boss won't seem to let me
03:34see you at the office
03:42these documents need to be done on time
03:55let me tell you that
03:56waiting for the day your ship will come in
03:58and the tide's going to turn
03:59and it's all going to roll your way
04:02I can't believe you're making it
04:20you're rocking it out dude
04:22hi i'm steve-o and this is extreme unicycling
04:26hey
04:28hey
04:31hey
04:31hey
04:33hey
04:35hey
04:56Let's do it!
05:23Hey mom!
05:25Nice!
05:51It hurt me.
05:52I knew I was completely finished when I just did the cement slide.
05:57Oh man!
05:59Ugh!
06:01Ugh!
06:02Snow, ass!
06:04Bitch!
06:05Oh, God!
06:08Oh!
06:12Oh, God!
06:15Oh, son of a bitch!
06:17Bitch!
06:28Oh, God, why? Why me?
06:31Oh, my God!
06:47Oh, son of a bitch!
06:54Oh, God! Excuse me, man. Excuse me, dude.
06:57Oh, God!
06:59Oh! Oh, God!
07:02Oh, crap!
07:04Oh, my goodness! Oh, goody!
07:06Oh, man!
07:08Oh, God!
07:10Oh!
07:17Damn!
07:23Oh, man!
07:28Oh, God!
07:30Oh, f**k!
07:32Oh, f**k!
07:35Oh, man!
07:37Oh, f**k!
07:39Oh!
07:41Oh!
07:43Oh!
07:45Oh!
07:47Oh!
07:49Oh, f**k!
07:51Oh!
07:52Son of a bitch!
07:54Oh!
07:55Oh!
07:56Oh!
07:58Oh!
08:02Oh!
08:04Woo!
08:06Oh!
08:10Oh!
08:11Oh!
08:12Oh!
08:13Oh!
08:15Oh!
08:16Oh!
08:17Oh!
08:18Oh!
08:19Oh!
08:20Oh!
08:21Oh!
08:22Oh!
08:24Oh!
08:26Oh!
08:28Oh!
08:29Oh!
08:30Oh!
08:31Oh!
08:32Oh!
08:33Oh!
08:34Oh!
08:35Oh!
08:36Oh!
08:37Oh!
08:38Oh!
08:39Oh!
08:40Oh!
08:41Oh!
08:42Oh!
08:43Oh!
08:44Come on, come on.
08:46Can I have one? It's okay.
08:50Today me and Aaron are riding on this enormous hill on this horrible tandem bike that has no brakes.
08:57We're dead.
09:14That's the only Bush Aaron's been in in months.
09:32We are trading this letter in to me your eyeballs are the lights out.
09:36We're dark.
09:39We're, dark, oh, my eyes are the lights out.
09:42There's no gun for you, but it's just a to-
09:44You're fun with your brain, you're my bad.
09:46Can I have one? It's just a to-
09:48We're, dark, oh, my.
09:50You're a bad guy, you're my bad, you're a bad guy.
09:52We're, dark, oh.
09:54There's no gun for you, but there's no gun for you, but it's just a to-
09:56I can have one of my bad guys.
09:58We're, dark, oh, my bad guys are the bellys.
10:00Oh my god!
10:18Holy sh**!
10:20Holy sh**!
10:22That was so f**ked up!
10:28Awww!
10:34I'm hungry when you say you are.
10:36I'm hungry when you say you are.
10:38I'm famished.
10:40Famished?
10:46Bottles.
10:48It's not a bottle.
10:50When you ask for these, what do you ask for? Bottles, right?
10:52Bottles. I call it bottles.
10:54That's a bottle? Water bottle. Bottles made out of glass.
10:56I call it a jug.
10:58It's a jug.
11:04Oh!
11:06Awww!
11:20F**k!
11:26That's falling. That's falling.
11:28Did I go a couple?
11:30Did I go a couple?
11:40What do you got?
11:42Not a bottle.
11:44It's not a bottle, it's a jug.
11:46That was really good.
11:52That was really good.
12:00Oh my god.
12:02Nashville just fired it.
12:04I just made the wind in.
12:06Mwah!
12:08Mwah!
12:10Mwah!
12:12Mwah!
12:14Mwah!
12:16Mwah!
12:18Mwah!
12:20Mwah!
12:22Mwah!
12:24Come and get me.
12:26Mwah!
12:28Mwah!
12:30Mwah!
12:32Mwah!
12:34I want you.
12:36Mwah!
12:38Mwah!
12:40Mwah!
12:42Mwah!
12:44Mwah!
12:46Mwah!
12:48Mwah!
12:50Mwah!
12:52Mwah!
12:54Mwah!
12:56Mwah!
12:58Mwah!
13:00Mwah!
13:02Mwah!
13:04What's the wing going?
13:06Hey, buddy.
13:08Oh my god.
13:10Mwah!
13:12Mwah!
13:14Oh my god.
13:16Mwah!
13:17Mwah!
13:18Mwah!
13:20Mwah!
13:22Mwah!
13:24Oh
13:55teu ass
14:13hippie
14:19Scott, did you do it right Joe?
14:22Are we gonna go to the bathroom?
14:24Do we go to the bathroom down there?
14:26No.
14:27Why?
14:28Oh!
14:34He's my friend. He's my friend.
14:38God, these Emmys are going around.
14:40They're breeding like rabbits,
14:42and they're killing people.
14:44A lot of nature hosts
14:46try to have more of a zen thing with the animals.
14:48Not me.
14:50I want to prove to these guys
14:52and I'm stronger than them.
14:54I'm faster.
14:56I've got greater animal instincts.
14:58And I myself am an animal.
15:00In front of him.
15:02Oh, he's looking at me.
15:04He likes the boy.
15:06The tips of their claws contain
15:08a poison.
15:10Most scientists compare it to
15:12the sting of a thousand black widows.
15:14And you're looking at an animal with
15:16two or three toes. I don't know.
15:18I mean, that's a lot of black widows.
15:20You do the math.
15:21When you catch an emu is when he's freaked out.
15:23Come on, here.
15:25Put up a piece of pipe.
15:27Hold on. No rounds.
15:29There it is. There it is. There it is.
15:30You got it. You got it. You got it.
15:31Open the gate. Open the gate.
15:32You got to show these animals
15:33that you're...
15:34You're the boss.
15:35You're the boss.
15:37And you know, maybe if you feel
15:39attracted to them, you can get a little pleasure from them.
15:41I'm not going to do that right now.
15:43Right?
15:45Yeah.
15:46Nicely.
15:47Emu hunter.
15:48Nice shot, dude.
15:49It's good.
15:50Have you done that before?
15:51Yeah, they're pretty...
15:52They're not too bad, dude.
15:53That wasn't bad at all.
15:54Well, that was the most intense thing I've done in years.
15:57Ready?
15:58Yeah.
15:59There you go.
16:00Run up there, run up there.
16:01There you go.
16:02Where you go, wee man?
16:03Oh my god.
16:05Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is my father, Phil.
16:09And today we're going to watch our
16:26Today we're going to watch my nephew Dusty pass Wynn.
16:29Drop my pants now?
16:31Yeah, drop them.
16:32Okay.
16:33Mic them up good.
16:34I'll mic them up good.
16:35Yeah.
16:36Oh.
16:37Oh, Lord.
16:38I think I got the wrong angle here.
16:41Man, you need to duct take some of that hair off your ass.
16:44Oh.
16:45Oh.
16:46We already started.
16:47Oh, God.
16:48Wait, wait.
16:49Not yet.
16:50Don't start yet.
16:51Oh.
16:52Put it closer in there.
16:55Stay Monday.
17:10Is that all you got?
17:12No, no.
17:13I mean, it's just like I'm about to crap and it's not good.
17:14Well, if you got to, you got to.
17:16How's the view from back there, Rock?
17:17The view's great.
17:18I've been to Three Worlds Fair and Four Goat Screwings and I ain't never seen that like
17:31anything.
17:32All right, here I go.
17:33Hey, Mom.
17:34Come here for a second.
17:35Mom.
17:36I can't.
17:37Come here for one second.
17:38I can't.
17:39Oh, my God.
17:40I just cracked up.
17:41Look, it's running down.
17:42He pooed.
17:43He pooed his pants.
17:44Shoot.
17:45Good.
17:46Is that it for you, Dad?
17:47That's it for me.
17:48Oh, did you crap on the mic?
17:49Hey, Lynn.
17:50Lynn.
17:51Lynn.
17:52Lynn, you need to get some toilet paper.
18:06Come on.
18:07Go get it.
18:12Come on.
18:13Go get it.
18:18Go get it.
18:20get it. Come on. He's your son. He's your son. Go get it. It's right there. I'll show
18:26it to you. I'll show it to you. Come on. There it is. Don't y'all get that on my road. No,
18:37No, no, no, no, no, no!
18:39No!
18:41No!
18:43Please, God!
18:45No!
18:47Okay, take it towards the bathroom!
18:49Take it towards the bathroom!
18:51No!
18:53No!
18:55Who is it?
18:57No!
18:59Man's gone!
19:01Don't even think about touching that camera!
19:03No!
19:05No!
19:07It's gone!
19:11My mom's gonna hate this piece!
19:29Camera!
19:31Is it gonna break? No, it's not gonna break.
19:33It couldn't be any better!
19:35It couldn't be any better!
19:37Does it look like I'm really wearing a hat?
19:39Yeah, it's gonna be fancy, fancy, fancy, fancy!
19:41Oh, yeah!
19:43Oh!
19:45Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
19:47You know, alright?
19:49Whoa!
19:51Oh!
19:53That's me!
19:55Oh!
19:57Oh!
19:59Oh!
20:01Oh!
20:03Oh!
20:05Ow!
20:09He just knocked my tooth out!
20:11It is!
20:13That's tandem biking for you, huh?
20:15Did you even wipe?
20:17No!
20:19It just fell out clean!
20:21Good job, Dusty!
20:23Another fine performance!
20:25Why don't you go take a bath now?
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