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Parental Guidance Season 3 Episode 3 - Full Movie
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00:00:00This episode of Parental Guidance contains references to eating disorders.
00:00:05Some viewers may find this topic challenging.
00:00:08Viewer discretion is advised.
00:00:11Parenting is the privilege of a lifetime.
00:00:14It's just a different kind of love that I can't even explain.
00:00:18But with privilege comes an even greater responsibility.
00:00:22In a special event series of Parental Guidance,
00:00:25we're hitting the most crucial topics facing parents today.
00:00:29Take a breath.
00:00:30This is confronting content.
00:00:33Previously, we uncovered the dangerous minefields of screen time.
00:00:37The most popular online gaming platform is a pedophile hellscape.
00:00:42And peer pressure.
00:00:43Do you let somebody take a naked photo of you?
00:00:47No.
00:00:48Tonight, we confront a generation's worrying obsession with body image.
00:00:55At its worst is I have met the devil.
00:00:59I don't know if I would know how to navigate that.
00:01:02Four new parenting styles are having the hard conversations.
00:01:06Pillars and Botox is the norm these days.
00:01:09Australia needs to have.
00:01:11We have an obesity crisis in this country.
00:01:14And we aren't parents with the tools.
00:01:15Go, go, go.
00:01:16Go, guys.
00:01:16Come on.
00:01:16Incredible.
00:01:17Oh, dad's incredible.
00:01:19Thanks for meeting me.
00:01:20To navigate their way through.
00:01:22We love you.
00:01:23We love you too.
00:01:24This is, for me, an area that requires immediate intervention.
00:01:28Focus parents, welcome.
00:01:44Nice to see you.
00:01:45Nice to see you.
00:01:46Hi.
00:01:47Josh and Cassie.
00:01:48Hi.
00:01:49Nick and Sophia.
00:01:50Hello.
00:01:51Panel parents, welcome.
00:01:53Hey, guys.
00:01:54Good to see you.
00:01:55Grab that seat.
00:01:57Buckle up.
00:01:59Nice to see you, parents.
00:02:01Welcome to the boot camp of parenting.
00:02:04We've handpicked eight sets of parents to take us through the tough obstacle course that
00:02:11is modern parenting, or to find out which way is the right way to deal with the biggest
00:02:17issues that face Australian parents today.
00:02:21Tonight, we're diving into one of the biggest parenting minefields yet, body image.
00:02:29When we're talking about body image, we're talking about healthy eating.
00:02:34Regular exercise and having a positive view of your body.
00:02:43This is complicated.
00:02:45Eat well, but, you know, not obsessively.
00:02:48Exercise, but don't go too hard.
00:02:50But how do we actually parent for this?
00:02:54Some of these conversations will be really difficult.
00:02:58I just want you all to know that.
00:02:59Tonight, four new focus parents are in the hot seat.
00:03:07Your parenting style is going to be assessed across the number of challenges themed around
00:03:12body image.
00:03:14And over here, you guys, you're our panel parents.
00:03:18So watch carefully and take notes.
00:03:20Later, you'll be voting on the parenting style you think is most effective when it comes to
00:03:27body image.
00:03:30Okay, let's get to know our focus parents.
00:03:34Let's run through our parenting styles.
00:03:38Elvie and Sean.
00:03:40We are authoritative parents.
00:03:41We have high expectations on our children.
00:03:44In the meantime, we set strict rules and boundaries.
00:03:47Say cheese.
00:03:48Cheese.
00:03:50Thanks, Mom.
00:03:52As authoritative parents, we don't really give our children too much choice.
00:03:57To be good in piano, you do need a lot of practicing.
00:04:01Elvie sets the rules in the family.
00:04:03You only have 20 minutes left.
00:04:05The girls and I obey.
00:04:10We want them to be academically successful, to get into a good profession.
00:04:17We also make sure our children have enough physical activities, balanced diet and health
00:04:23consciousness for long-term success.
00:04:28So you're basically setting the goal high for them.
00:04:30They can work towards it.
00:04:31Yes, we set rules.
00:04:33We have high expectations.
00:04:35However, the most important thing, in our view, is their health and happiness.
00:04:40Nick and Sophia.
00:04:41We're the positivity parents where confidence is key.
00:04:45Hey, Bestie!
00:04:50As positivity parents, we build up our children's self-esteem every single day by doing positive
00:04:55affirmations.
00:04:56I can't hear you.
00:04:57You've got to say it loud.
00:04:57I am unstoppable.
00:04:59Yes, you are.
00:05:00I am exceptional.
00:05:01You are.
00:05:02We've been blessed in the fact that Sophia is able to work from home as a content creator
00:05:06and she's incorporated our children within that sphere.
00:05:10One, two.
00:05:11Hey, Bestie!
00:05:14One, two.
00:05:16We do teach our children to have a healthy lifestyle.
00:05:19The girls do competitive dance.
00:05:22Each day, the girls are dancing and having fun and being fit.
00:05:26Beautiful.
00:05:26They love being physical.
00:05:28I think it's pretty cool that you've got such a positive outlook with that positive energy.
00:05:34I think that's impressive.
00:05:37They're really cute too.
00:05:38And Amanda and Hassan.
00:05:41We choose to parent the hard way.
00:05:43We don't take shortcuts.
00:05:44It's hard on us, but easy and fun for the kids.
00:05:46Everyone say cheese!
00:05:48Say cheese!
00:05:49Yeah!
00:05:52As hard way parents, there's no easy way out.
00:05:54We don't leave anyone behind.
00:05:56We all go do things together.
00:05:57When it comes to food, we don't allow junk.
00:06:02We try to make everything from scratch.
00:06:04Easy way of parenting is giving your children soft drink, lollies, jug, take out.
00:06:09That's the easy way.
00:06:10Sorry, nuggets and chips.
00:06:11That's not very healthy for your children.
00:06:13That's not.
00:06:13We actually choose to parent our children.
00:06:16Five, two, three, four, five.
00:06:18We model good behaviour when it comes to body image.
00:06:21Well done, high five.
00:06:23You can put kids down really quickly with your words.
00:06:26When they feel that we're happy and proud of them, they feel proud of themselves.
00:06:32Everything you said literally sounds like us.
00:06:34We do.
00:06:35You get out, yeah.
00:06:36Even with the kids, you're playing basketball with them, you're in the pool with them.
00:06:39That's what we do.
00:06:40Yeah.
00:06:41We're having fun.
00:06:42We play with our kids.
00:06:43We want to have fun with them.
00:06:44Yeah.
00:06:45Josh and Cassie.
00:06:46We are the life school parents and we use real life experiences to educate our kids.
00:06:52Smile.
00:06:53As a family of seven, we live in our truck and caravan, travelling around Australia.
00:07:02We've been travelling for like three years, but haven't been to school for four years.
00:07:06We just choose life schooling is a better way to learn.
00:07:09What we are doing is a variant of home schooling, taking it out of the classroom and into the real world.
00:07:17Tests and school curriculums are not important.
00:07:19No, they're not important.
00:07:21They're outdated.
00:07:21Yeah.
00:07:21Oh, boys, look what we've got.
00:07:26I'm a crunchy mum, 100%.
00:07:27That's, yeah.
00:07:28Limited technology.
00:07:30Using natural remedies.
00:07:32Limited pharmaceuticals, this sort of thing.
00:07:34Oh, I think you got further than Spencer.
00:07:37And are we going against the norm?
00:07:38100% we are.
00:07:39100% we're going against the norm.
00:07:41But kids are healthy.
00:07:42Anyone can see that.
00:07:43Yeah.
00:07:43Well done, Jasper.
00:07:45I think it looks lovely.
00:07:48It looks just like such a lovely lifestyle.
00:07:50Getting travelling around with the kids and having them outdoors and in nature.
00:07:54I love it.
00:07:54How do your kids feel about not going to school?
00:07:58Like, have they came and told you they want to go to school?
00:08:00How would you handle it?
00:08:00We check in with them regularly and we're like, do you guys want to go to school?
00:08:04And they're like, no.
00:08:05But there is certain things they'll learn in the classroom from, like, someone that's been
00:08:09to university and done the curriculum that you can't possibly teach them.
00:08:14I will just push back a little bit on that because what can the educational system teach
00:08:19that we don't have the tools to teach our children?
00:08:21You know, with technology like YouTube and things, I have tools and resources I can lean
00:08:26on.
00:08:26So I am fully confident that if their pursuit and their desire was to become a doctor,
00:08:32they're going to go pursue that.
00:08:34Your kid's got confidence.
00:08:35Yeah, it's just what you need.
00:08:36Of course.
00:08:37They're outside.
00:08:38They're doing things with their hands.
00:08:39They're building things already.
00:08:39I guarantee you.
00:08:40Does that mean, though, we don't need schools?
00:08:42No, not at all.
00:08:43No, I'm not saying we don't need schools.
00:08:44So we can all sort of teach ourselves on the internet?
00:08:46I just don't think school's for everybody.
00:08:47No.
00:08:48Yeah, but a child's not going to know that if the parent doesn't give them the opportunity.
00:08:51When I've only got five kids to focus on, out of anyone in the world, Cass and I have
00:08:57their best interests at heart.
00:08:59All right.
00:09:01Let's get into it.
00:09:02Panel parents, don't forget to take notes.
00:09:05It is time for our focus families to face their first challenge.
00:09:09For many of us, looking in the mirror is just part of the morning routine.
00:09:17But for kids and teens with rapidly changing bodies, it can be a moment of self-doubt.
00:09:23In this challenge, we asked you to do something simple, but it's incredibly revealing.
00:09:29Stand in front of a mirror with your child and talk openly about their bodies.
00:09:35The stats around body image are deeply troubling.
00:09:39Nearly half of teenagers have skipped school because of body image concerns.
00:09:45And more than a third have avoided physical activities because they don't feel confident
00:09:51in their own bodies.
00:09:53So, how do they really see themselves?
00:09:58Let's have a look.
00:09:58Come and have a look at a text message.
00:10:03Oh, what do your kids think about their bodies?
00:10:06Parents, time for a body image check-in.
00:10:09In this challenge, we want to see what our parents have role-modelled when it comes to
00:10:14valuing their bodies.
00:10:15As life school parents, our kids don't have access to, like, the mainstream peer pressure
00:10:22to keep up with a certain image.
00:10:23They don't have Instagram and things like that where body image is, you know, constantly
00:10:29in front of them to compare themselves against.
00:10:31Hey, Kingsley.
00:10:32What?
00:10:33Can you tell me what you like most about your body?
00:10:37My hair.
00:10:38Your hair.
00:10:39What don't you like about your body the most?
00:10:41Don't know.
00:10:42You don't know?
00:10:44What do you like most about yourself in the mirror?
00:10:47Uh, muscles.
00:10:48Because they can help me with a lot of things that I do.
00:10:53And what do you like least about your body?
00:10:55Nothing.
00:10:56There's nothing you like least about your body?
00:11:01You got the boys, I've got the girls.
00:11:03Let's go, boys.
00:11:04As hardway parents, we want to teach them that positive body image is very important.
00:11:08It's very important to believe in yourself and not believe in what other people tell you
00:11:12you are.
00:11:13So, Mahanad?
00:11:14Yeah?
00:11:14What do you like about your body?
00:11:15It's healthy.
00:11:16Mm-hmm.
00:11:17And that my hands could pick up things and I could mainly do everything with my body.
00:11:22Anything you don't like about your body?
00:11:24Uh, I like everything.
00:11:26Oh, beautiful.
00:11:28I'm a teacher, a high school teacher.
00:11:30I see this every single day with students that I teach.
00:11:34They are very self-aware of their body and the way they look.
00:11:37What do you like about your body, Lemise?
00:11:39Uh, I like my eyes and my hair.
00:11:42What don't you like about your body?
00:11:44My nose.
00:11:45Your nose?
00:11:45Why?
00:11:46I know.
00:11:47We live in a world where having fillers and Botox and plastic surgery is, sorry, the norm
00:11:53these days.
00:11:54And I want our children to know that they don't have to change the way they look to be beautiful.
00:12:00Come in front of this, Mira.
00:12:03As an authoritative parent, um, from an oriental background, we are quite conservative talking
00:12:10about our body, even between mother and daughters.
00:12:13How do you feel about your body image?
00:12:16I like my hair and my teeth.
00:12:20I have bunions because I do ballet.
00:12:23I have acne, which is kind of sad.
00:12:26I want to be taller.
00:12:28You want to be 10 cm or more taller?
00:12:32Like, from my age.
00:12:34I think the K-pop entertainment has greatly impacted Stacey's perceptions of the right body
00:12:42image.
00:12:42Pop culture is sending a message to the children that you need to be thin, maybe tall, to look
00:12:50pretty.
00:12:50As we age, we start to get freckles.
00:12:55I honestly think you look pretty good for your age.
00:12:59Aww.
00:13:02So I just wrote a note here about the boys, they saw their abilities and what their bodies
00:13:08can do, whereas girls see their physical features.
00:13:11I noticed that a bit, yeah.
00:13:13Amanda, you talked there about girls and fillers and Botox.
00:13:18I don't want them to feel pressure that they have to fix up the way their face looks just
00:13:23because, you know, other people are doing that.
00:13:27I get Botox and I don't see a problem with it.
00:13:31It's nothing that crazy and I don't think there should be, like, such a stigma around it.
00:13:38And by me getting Botox, I don't feel like it's teaching my daughters that they need to
00:13:43get it.
00:13:43They don't know that I've had it done.
00:13:45I've never done anything to my face or body and I don't dye my hair.
00:13:50I just believe that if I want my children to believe that they are perfect the way they
00:13:54are, which I believe they are, then I need to reflect that in my behaviour.
00:13:57If I don't focus on my wrinkles or my age or my weight, then my kids won't either.
00:14:06Mothers that want to get Botox, I think they possibly need a psychologist to see if it's
00:14:10in the danger zones or healthy zones or whatever.
00:14:14I've had Botox before.
00:14:15I don't think it's bad to role model Botox and villas as a parent, is it?
00:14:20Do you?
00:14:24A World Health Organisation study found that what predicted who was going to have body image
00:14:30issues was not body size, but gender.
00:14:34Plastic surgery, GLP-1 drugs, the people who take advantage of them, more than 80% of them
00:14:40are female.
00:14:41We have a different conversation around bodies for men and boys compared to girls and women.
00:14:49Do we need to do better for girls?
00:14:50Is that what you're saying?
00:14:51We need to do much better for girls.
00:14:52The way that we talk about our bodies, the emphasis that we place on appearance and the
00:15:00behaviours that we model are all going to profoundly influence our girls' body perception.
00:15:08The most important thing that we can teach our children about body image is self-acceptance
00:15:14and treat themselves with love and respect.
00:15:18Coming up, a body image confession.
00:15:24I didn't like my body at all.
00:15:27And the dark side to Australia's wellness mania.
00:15:32I don't like watching children go through stuff like that.
00:15:35Then later, one parenting style comes under fire.
00:15:40They are not just behind, they're several years behind.
00:15:43I just need an ear-go.
00:15:48Tonight, we're getting into one of the most important and challenging topics in parenting.
00:15:58It's body image.
00:16:00And we're looking at how our focus kids see themselves in the mirror.
00:16:06Okay, we've got one more to see.
00:16:08Let's take a look at our positivity parents.
00:16:11As positivity parents, we do talk to the kids about body image because they do see different
00:16:26body shapes.
00:16:27I always reaffirm that we are all different and that all body shapes and sizes are beautiful
00:16:34just the way they are.
00:16:34Tell mummy what you love about your body.
00:16:37I have legs.
00:16:38Yeah, you've got beautiful legs.
00:16:39What else do you love about your body?
00:16:42Your beautiful face.
00:16:44Is there anything that you don't like about your body?
00:16:47No.
00:16:48Nothing?
00:16:48We're not wanting them to ever feel like they need to come up to a certain standard of what
00:16:54someone else thinks beauty is.
00:16:56Do you want to tell mummy what you like about your body?
00:17:00That I'm healthy.
00:17:02Yeah.
00:17:02Beautiful.
00:17:03Yeah.
00:17:04Long hair.
00:17:06Six pack.
00:17:07Yeah, you do have a six pack.
00:17:09Is there anything that you don't like about your body?
00:17:13No.
00:17:14Nothing at all?
00:17:16Do you just look at yourself and just go, you know what, I'm really happy with the way
00:17:19that I look?
00:17:20Yeah.
00:17:21Yeah.
00:17:22This is everything that I want her to feel about herself.
00:17:27When I was younger, I didn't like my legs.
00:17:32I used to get teased at school and they used to be actually writing on the walls about mummy's
00:17:41legs.
00:17:42I didn't like my body at all.
00:17:49It's very important, especially being a girl, okay, that you don't let other people tell you
00:17:56what beautiful is.
00:17:58You know how mummy always says that to you?
00:18:00Okay, because we're all different.
00:18:02Okay?
00:18:03I love you.
00:18:04I love you.
00:18:15Your little girls have both got really positive body images.
00:18:19They had nothing negative to say about themselves.
00:18:21No, and they shouldn't.
00:18:22They're very comfortable with themselves.
00:18:24Obviously, that's a testament to you both because you've raised them every day, telling
00:18:27them they're just beautiful, beautiful children and it really comes through.
00:18:30I'm sorry that you've had that experience though.
00:18:35It was written on the school wall.
00:18:37Sophia has thunder thighs and it became a big thing for me.
00:18:42So it was just something I don't want my kids to ever go through.
00:18:47And that's disgusting.
00:18:48Yeah, it's shocking.
00:18:49Sophia, can I ask, that period when you were teased about your body, did that lead to bad
00:18:57choices you made in regards to your health?
00:19:00Yes, yes, absolutely.
00:19:02I would binge and then I'd be like, oh, no, no, no, I'm getting too big now.
00:19:06Let's scale that back to like not eating.
00:19:09Like that's just not healthy, you know.
00:19:11And then all my friends were doing it.
00:19:13And I think when you're young, you're very impressionable.
00:19:16OK, and if you don't have a lot of support around you, you don't have, you know, parents
00:19:20that are guiding you, you know, through that type of stuff.
00:19:25I can definitely relate with that.
00:19:27I was one of four girls.
00:19:29Two of my older sisters suffered quite bad eating disorders growing up.
00:19:33And it did stem from my dad was obsessed with the way he looked.
00:19:39I remember I lost a lot of weight once when I was younger.
00:19:42I was severely underweight.
00:19:46And someone said, I'm really worried about you.
00:19:48And I went to my dad and he said, I don't know what they're talking about.
00:19:51You look fabulous.
00:19:53And so it does come from the parents.
00:19:57And, you know, you're lucky if you can get out of that without any repercussions.
00:20:01I suffered anorexia when I was, like, 12 to 14.
00:20:07But that was more of a confidence thing.
00:20:11Yeah, I think it's important that fathers tell their daughters they're beautiful as well.
00:20:14Because my dad always taught us we were perfect just the way we are.
00:20:17You talk to the girls like that.
00:20:18And I think it makes a big difference.
00:20:20You guys have broken the cycle up there.
00:20:22That's what it sounds like to me from over here.
00:20:24I love everything about my body now.
00:20:26And, like, I'm the only one in this room that's wearing a short dress and showing my thighs.
00:20:30I don't care.
00:20:31Like, this is me.
00:20:36When discussing body image, we need to move away from beauty.
00:20:40Instead, emphasise functionality.
00:20:43Emphasise finding joy.
00:20:45Focus on what you can do, not what you look like.
00:20:47More than anything, remember that beauty is best defined by who you are and not how you look.
00:20:54Next, what is your voice saying right now?
00:21:01Darling.
00:21:02The story of body image obsession.
00:21:05Was there ever a point where you thought you might leave her?
00:21:08Yeah.
00:21:09Then a fun game takes a turn.
00:21:12That would break my heart.
00:21:13Yeah.
00:21:14It was hard to watch.
00:21:15We're about to cover one of the most confronting issues relating to body image.
00:21:29I want to acknowledge the following discussion relates to eating disorders.
00:21:33Some may find it distressing, but we need to have these important conversations.
00:21:38The stats around eating disorders are increasingly worrying, particularly in our young people,
00:21:44with 90% of teenagers having negative thoughts about their bodies.
00:21:50I'm a dad of six girls, and it's just, it's one thing that scares the hell out of me,
00:21:54because the causes are so far-reaching, and they can be really difficult to protect against.
00:22:00Unfortunately, sometimes the very best parenting messages don't get through.
00:22:10I want to show you a home video from someone who experienced a serious body image disorder.
00:22:18And after months of simply not eating, she was hospitalised close to death.
00:22:23In the video, you'll see a young girl being supported by her mum
00:22:28as she goes through the horrific illness that is known as anorexia nervosa.
00:22:33It is a confronting watch.
00:22:50Force yourself to eat it, Ashley.
00:22:52I feel like you're punishing me.
00:23:02I'm not punishing you.
00:23:06You are choosing to listen to the voice instead.
00:23:11What is the voice saying right now?
00:23:12Don't eat.
00:23:14Okay, so you need to do the opposite.
00:23:16I can't do it!
00:23:20Congratulations, you are stronger.
00:23:31What does it feel like to complete your meal?
00:23:34This little bit of happiness inside of me.
00:23:38Yep.
00:23:40This is what family is.
00:23:42Family don't give up on one another.
00:23:43We don't abandon you.
00:23:46Love you.
00:23:47I love you guys too.
00:23:49I love you guys.
00:23:58It's really hard, isn't it?
00:24:00I don't like watching children go through stuff like that.
00:24:06And then I think about my own kids.
00:24:09I mean, she's really lucky.
00:24:10She has parents that care about her.
00:24:13Yeah.
00:24:14It's one of the...
00:24:15It's why we're spending so much time focused on body image.
00:24:21Because when it goes wrong, it's the consequences.
00:24:24I just thought of my girls or our girls in that situation.
00:24:31And how I would be trying to deal with that as well as trying to guide them through it.
00:24:38You could feel her pain coming through her cry, which was quite confronting.
00:24:45And I don't know if I would know how to navigate that.
00:24:48Yeah.
00:24:48Yeah.
00:24:49You feel a sense of helplessness as a parent, don't you, when you watch that and you can't fix something for someone.
00:24:55Yeah, definitely.
00:24:56Four credits to her mum.
00:24:58She was so strong.
00:24:59She's unbelievable.
00:25:00What a woman.
00:25:01Now, fortunately, this story has a happy ending.
00:25:07That's good.
00:25:08I know this family and I know that girl in the video.
00:25:11She is now a healthy, strong young woman who is an advocate and mentor to anorexia sufferers around the country.
00:25:21I'm happy now.
00:25:22That's beautiful.
00:25:22She's here tonight.
00:25:23Oh, wow.
00:25:24Please welcome Ashley, together with her parents, Kendall and Andrew.
00:25:37All right, we made the whole room cry and there was also, I think, a great sense of relief.
00:25:50Ashley, can you explain how it started and what we just saw?
00:25:54It started, I just wanted to be healthy.
00:25:56I started following these influencers online that were posting photos of their shopping trolleys.
00:26:01And I was looking to these people that were seeming like they were happy when they were going on a diet or when they were losing weight.
00:26:07And so I was constantly being reinforced that who I was and what I looked like was not enough.
00:26:13I know that as you were going through social media and with the algorithms, you were just seeing this certain image, really dangerous diets.
00:26:23I really wanted to then have a flat stomach.
00:26:25Like I'd do all the seven-minute workouts or the ab workouts.
00:26:28And then the more I lost, the more validation I got in the sense of, oh, you look amazing.
00:26:35What are you doing?
00:26:36You're so fit.
00:26:37You look great.
00:26:37And it was feeding me.
00:26:39Like I was then striving for that and I was seeking that because it's like you're possessed.
00:26:46It was a mental illness.
00:26:49Mum and Dad, how hard is that when you see your little girl so sick?
00:26:54It wasn't until a holiday that we saw Ashley undress and go for a swim that we went, oh, crap, we're in trouble.
00:26:59We got roles.
00:26:59Kendall became not a mum anymore.
00:27:01She became a carer, which was a big task.
00:27:04And then I became the parent for the other two kids and look after the house.
00:27:08Can you explain to all of us what it was like at its worst?
00:27:12At its worst is that I have met the devil.
00:27:15You know, you could physically see Ashley's eyes roll back and this different demonised voice would come forward.
00:27:25You know, it was going to war.
00:27:28Was there ever a point where you both thought you might not get through it and you might lose her?
00:27:33Yeah.
00:27:34Well, Ashley was told to make a bucket list of things she wanted to do before she died.
00:27:38We were basically told to just to take her home.
00:27:42She's got the most extreme eating disorder and probably the highest mortality rate.
00:27:47And you just need to get the food in.
00:27:49You know, Ashley wouldn't even brush her teeth.
00:27:51She wouldn't even drink water because she thought it had calories in it.
00:27:55I didn't want to be here.
00:27:58I didn't feel like anybody loved me.
00:28:02I didn't feel like I was worthy of being loved.
00:28:05And when I was admitted into hospital, into a children's mental health ward, you were on your own.
00:28:12And you're like 12 or 13 and you've just got no family.
00:28:16I had mum turn up every single day at 9am and then be told to leave at night.
00:28:22And for someone that thought that nobody loved her but to have her mum turn up every single day
00:28:27while there were other kids in there that had their mum come drop them off and then never return.
00:28:33I thought, wow, I'm like wasting away my life so selfishly when I have a mum and a family that's so willing to fight for me.
00:28:47That's when I, yeah, made the decision that, all right, I'm going to give full recovery a go.
00:28:50And I mean, here we are nine years later.
00:28:54That's incredible.
00:28:56Well done.
00:28:57Do you have any advice, Kendall and Andrew, in what to do when you see the signs that you saw in Ashley?
00:29:03The first sign is if you think your child's behaviour is changing, they're starting to isolate themselves.
00:29:10There's something wrong with school.
00:29:11They're not doing the fun things they used to do.
00:29:14After the behavioural signs came changing eating.
00:29:18Only one eat clean.
00:29:19Looking back on that, there are all signs that something was not right.
00:29:25Do you feel you're stronger than it now?
00:29:27Oh, yeah, so much stronger.
00:29:31And I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for those two amazing people, for them never giving up on me when I'd given up on myself.
00:29:38You know, we're all going to go home tonight and hug our kids a little bit tighter and just remember to tell them how awesome they are every single day.
00:29:49And parents, if you have any concerns, do seek support for you and your child.
00:29:54Please, just a huge thank you for Ashley and her beautiful parents for coming in and sharing that tonight.
00:29:59Thank you so much.
00:30:19Focus parents, tonight you are being put to the test on the pressing topic of body image.
00:30:25And on this side tonight, panel parents, don't forget to take notes.
00:30:29At the end of all the challenges, we'll be asking you to choose which parenting style best equips their kids for looking after their bodies.
00:30:38Cardiovascular fitness, it's essential across all stages of life for good movement, better mental health, brain function, sleep and preventing disease.
00:30:50But many of us, many of us, many of us, many of us, but many of us don't do enough.
00:30:56The numbers are clear.
00:30:59By the age of nine, only a fifth of kids are getting the recommended one hour of exercise per day.
00:31:06And with inactive parents, that never drops even lower.
00:31:09So, let's have a look at how each of our focus families keeps fit.
00:31:15We're definitely role model fitness.
00:31:19Going to the park, having a game of basketball in the backyard.
00:31:23Go, go.
00:31:24Oh, what a block.
00:31:26It's all about quality family time together.
00:31:28All right.
00:31:29All right.
00:31:30Well done.
00:31:31Yes.
00:31:32Hit up.
00:31:33Stacey.
00:31:34We believe that doing well academically is important, but we do run some physical activities like yoga, and we do badminton together.
00:31:47How you doing it, monkey man? I'm under you.
00:31:49Our kids are just always on the go.
00:31:51The moment their eyes are open, they're out that van, and they're doing something outside.
00:31:55We don't need weekend sports, just the fact we're such a big family.
00:31:59Our kids automatically get the experience of what it's like to be in a team and be a team player.
00:32:07Do your parents like to exercise?
00:32:09My mum used to exercise, now she doesn't, but she exercises by doing all the chores in the house.
00:32:16Wow, you're too slow.
00:32:17We do talk to our kids about the importance of being fit.
00:32:20So, our daughters doing dance is an extremely important aspect in their lives.
00:32:26The girls will dance for like five hours each day. They just don't stop dancing.
00:32:32Alrighty. For our next challenge, it is the ultimate fitness test.
00:32:38We had a personal trainer take you through a beat test.
00:32:44We know that kids with fit parents are more likely to be fit themselves.
00:32:50So, we're going to be focusing on the parents' results.
00:32:55What we're looking for in this challenge is for adults and kids who are 12 and over
00:33:00to be getting a score of five or above.
00:33:02God.
00:33:04So, how do our focus parents role model fitness and motivate their kids?
00:33:11Let's take a look.
00:33:15Do you think you fit enough?
00:33:17Yes.
00:33:18In case you missed it at school, the beat test is an international standard
00:33:22measuring cardiovascular fitness.
00:33:24Can I take my shoes off?
00:33:25Absolutely.
00:33:26Yay!
00:33:27That's us.
00:33:28A series of 20 metre sprints where you have to beat the beep to stay in the game.
00:33:34Remember, the parents should be able to reach level five.
00:33:40Level one.
00:33:46Level two.
00:33:47Ah!
00:33:54Good work.
00:33:55Not happy with my level of fitness at all.
00:33:58I was pregnant for four years consecutive and if I wasn't pregnant then I was breastfeeding
00:34:04and that honestly made me lose a lot of physical activity.
00:34:07Level five.
00:34:11Yeah.
00:34:12Two competitive ones.
00:34:14Level six.
00:34:17Ah!
00:34:19Go dad!
00:34:20Good pace.
00:34:21Good work Spencey.
00:34:23You're welcome brother.
00:34:24High five.
00:34:25Are you even puffed?
00:34:26Hey, you got to level A.
00:34:28Alright, who's the strongest?
00:34:30Me!
00:34:31Look at me!
00:34:33Level one.
00:34:34Come on.
00:34:35Come on Alec, let's go.
00:34:36Come on Alec, let's go.
00:34:37Come on Alec, let's go.
00:34:38Come on Alec, let's go.
00:34:39Come on Alec, let's go.
00:34:40Come on Alec, let's go.
00:34:42Oh you just made it, come on.
00:34:43You just made it, come on.
00:34:44Come on.
00:34:46Hey, hey girl.
00:34:48Run, run, run.
00:34:52We're out.
00:34:54Right now I feel like I could be more fit.
00:34:57You know, as a mum sometimes you put yourself last.
00:35:01Come on Mila, you've got that winner mentality mum, let's go.
00:35:05Come on Mila.
00:35:07I'm out.
00:35:08Same.
00:35:10We won.
00:35:11I want to go.
00:35:12That's hard.
00:35:14Let me try winning this game.
00:35:16I want to win this game.
00:35:18Level one.
00:35:20As an authoritative parents, fitness is not our strength.
00:35:26We are not good ourselves in our sports.
00:35:28Elvin and I, we don't have sports genes.
00:35:30It is quite a physical challenge.
00:35:46It is quite exhausting.
00:35:49Well done.
00:35:50Well done.
00:35:51Well done.
00:35:55Beyond the fact that Sean ran in sandals, which well done you Sean, how did you feel about their
00:36:00family's efforts?
00:36:02It was good to see that side of your family and also to see you take a loss.
00:36:08I try my best.
00:36:10I show the children.
00:36:12Sean, we're not a fitness family.
00:36:15Yeah.
00:36:16What message does that send to the family when they hear that?
00:36:19We're good at certain areas, but we're probably a bit behind in other areas.
00:36:23No one is perfect.
00:36:24Just try to focus the areas that you're strong in.
00:36:29With the life school parents, yeah, you can obviously see the lifestyle that you live.
00:36:35Obviously being outside, you were moving all the time and all the kids were having a great
00:36:38go at it and even dad did very well there.
00:36:43I like the positivity of parents.
00:36:45You were like two little mini teams competing against each other rather than, you know, the
00:36:49individual children, which I thought was really good.
00:36:52Okay, let's see how our final focus parents went.
00:36:56Level one.
00:36:57Let's go.
00:36:59As hard way parents, we are big on fitness.
00:37:02Well done.
00:37:03We don't want our kids lying around sitting on the screen eating junk food.
00:37:06Yeah.
00:37:07We get them up.
00:37:08We go for a walk.
00:37:09It's all about staying fit.
00:37:11After five children, getting back into shape has been, you know, a bit hard.
00:37:16Your purpose is just for your children.
00:37:20I think with me being just one year postpartum as well, I haven't had a chance to actually run yet.
00:37:26Come on.
00:37:27As fast as you can.
00:37:28Come on, guys.
00:37:30I just want to keep running so then the kids can keep watching me do that so they can keep going.
00:37:37Come on.
00:37:39Mum and Dad, out.
00:37:41I'm super proud of Amanda.
00:37:42She is a definition of a superwoman.
00:37:43Thanks, babe.
00:37:44So, I was so proud of you.
00:37:46So cool.
00:37:47I loved it.
00:37:48I love that you tried your best in that.
00:37:49It's not easy.
00:37:50It's such a hard thing to do, especially mentally.
00:37:51Are you all right, Amanda?
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:53They just really are my purpose.
00:37:54I do everything for them.
00:37:55It was 40 degrees that day.
00:37:56It was very, very hot.
00:37:57I hadn't ran yet.
00:37:58My last baby was a C-section.
00:37:59So, it was a C-section.
00:38:00So, I was so proud of you.
00:38:01So, I was so proud of you.
00:38:03So cool.
00:38:04I loved it.
00:38:05I loved that you tried your best in that.
00:38:06It's not easy.
00:38:07It's such a hard thing to do, especially mentally.
00:38:09Are you all right, Amanda?
00:38:10Yeah.
00:38:11They just really are my purpose.
00:38:12I do everything for them.
00:38:14It was 40 degrees that day.
00:38:17It was very, very hot.
00:38:18I hadn't ran yet.
00:38:19My last baby was a C-section, so I've been just walking.
00:38:23And I just wanted to keep going just to show them that you can not give up.
00:38:27So, to do that with your children and be such a great role model, all eight of you, amazing.
00:38:33I think you all did so good in that challenge.
00:38:38Kids take their cues from us.
00:38:40If they see us prioritising movement and making it fun, then they're far more likely to stick with it for life.
00:38:47So, the takeaway is this.
00:38:50There is room for improvement for most of our focus parents in the room.
00:38:54But, the good news?
00:38:56It's never too late to set a better example.
00:39:03Next...
00:39:04Steak!
00:39:05Kitchen chaos when the kids are put in charge.
00:39:08What's your favourite thing, Joseph?
00:39:09Chocolate!
00:39:10And everything is laid out on the table.
00:39:13What does your food intake really look like?
00:39:16None of them have got any chocolate or anything.
00:39:19Then later, which parenting style comes out on top?
00:39:23The best parental guidance when it comes to a healthy body image goes to...
00:39:27We're looking at body image.
00:39:37And before our next challenge, we're going to find out what our focus kids know about healthy eating.
00:39:44Every parent knows that you're supposed to give your kids healthy foods.
00:39:49But how many of us are actually doing that?
00:39:51We sent you a grocery delivery and it is filled with a typical Aussie shop.
00:39:57Can your kids make a healthy meal plan?
00:40:01Well...
00:40:02Proper nutrition is essential for setting up our kids to live a long and healthy life.
00:40:07But only 4% of Australian children, 4%, meet the fruit and vegetable consumption recommendations.
00:40:14Which means that 96% of kids aren't getting enough.
00:40:20Wow, look at all the bags!
00:40:23We sent our families an average Aussie grocery shop.
00:40:27Ooh, vegetables!
00:40:29The kids are calling the shots, deciding what's healthy, what's not and what they actually want to eat for the week.
00:40:36Not healthy.
00:40:37Not healthy.
00:40:38No cupcakes allowed.
00:40:39Not healthy.
00:40:40As positivity parents, moderation is key.
00:40:44We try and balance it out.
00:40:45The girls, they do like, you know, chocolates like every other child.
00:40:49What's that one?
00:40:50Garlic.
00:40:51Garlic.
00:40:54We don't want to eat too much junk because of our body we will get sick.
00:40:58My favourite thing is the rock melon.
00:41:00My favourite thing is the grapes.
00:41:03We try to promote healthy eating habits from a young age, even if it's going to take longer.
00:41:08And they all like to get involved.
00:41:10What's your favourite thing, Joseph?
00:41:11Chocolate!
00:41:15Why is it important to eat healthy?
00:41:17So you don't have a big tummy like my dad.
00:41:20As an authoritative parent, eating healthy is essential.
00:41:26Whatever we prepare, we make sure we have the right combinations of nutrition.
00:41:32Okay, definitely not the silver beef thing.
00:41:34What's chow chows?
00:41:36It's like rip-off rice.
00:41:38Esme, you're going to get cancelled.
00:41:39Oh, look at steak!
00:41:40Favourite things are mangoes!
00:41:44Apples!
00:41:46We generally only eat two meals a day.
00:41:49We don't have any structure around meal times.
00:41:52We listen to what our bodies tell us when we're hungry and that's when we eat.
00:41:56Chocolate and that doesn't feel good.
00:41:59It will give you energy but not for as long.
00:42:02Food that is not healthy is chips.
00:42:06You eat that all the time.
00:42:09Chocolate, sweets, lollipops.
00:42:12I like these two together.
00:42:21Okay, so let's be honest about this.
00:42:24We have an obesity crisis in this country.
00:42:27Two-thirds of Australian adults are overweight or obese.
00:42:32And the negative eating habits that lead to this start in childhood.
00:42:38It's about understanding what we're eating and how it's affecting our bodies.
00:42:43Focus parents, you all say you have a healthy diet.
00:42:48So we asked you to fill out a family food diary.
00:42:51You had to write down absolutely everything each member of the family put in their mouth.
00:43:01So what does your food intake really look like?
00:43:05Please step out of the room, we need everyone out.
00:43:09And then I'm going to bring you back in and we can all judge who has the healthiest daily meal plan.
00:43:16I love this!
00:43:17Okay, let's go!
00:43:18Look for the Porellos!
00:43:32Panel parents, come back in.
00:43:36And have a look, walk around the table, have a look at everything.
00:43:39On each table is a daily intake of food for each family.
00:44:09And none of them have got any chocolate or anything.
00:44:19None of them.
00:44:23Focus parents, come on in and sit down.
00:44:29Anybody hungry?
00:44:30Ooh, yummy!
00:44:31What do we think of the Hard Way parents' daily meal plan?
00:44:41Great options. Healthy, some snacks.
00:44:45I can see that the parents are only, like, having the treats, not so much the kids.
00:44:50But I also don't see many vegetables, I would say.
00:44:53Okay, what about the Life School parents' daily meal plan?
00:45:00A lot of meat, so...
00:45:03Bacon and egg rolls.
00:45:04Yeah.
00:45:05Also, not too many veggies.
00:45:07But yeah, the popcorn's good.
00:45:09And I like ice cream.
00:45:12And the Positivity parents.
00:45:15They've got a great balance.
00:45:16They've got the fruit and the veggies and a bit of salad.
00:45:18Yeah.
00:45:19Cereal's an unhealthy choice.
00:45:21It would be something that we might potentially occasionally buy in the holidays, maybe.
00:45:28And the authoritative parents.
00:45:31Yeah, that food looks delicious.
00:45:32It's great, healthy options.
00:45:34That puts everyone to shame, I think.
00:45:37Okay.
00:45:39I thought we should get an expert involved.
00:45:41So I took your food diaries to the lab of Dr Nick Fuller.
00:45:44He's an expert specialist in helping families build healthy eating habits.
00:45:50And he's the best-selling author of Healthy Parents, Healthy Kids.
00:45:55Let's have a look.
00:45:57All right, Nick, you've got all the food diaries.
00:46:01They all say they're eating well, are they?
00:46:04Two families are doing particularly well, and two do need a little bit of work.
00:46:08Ooh, okay.
00:46:09I'm really intrigued to see how Amanda and Hassan, our hardwave parents, went.
00:46:14Yes, what they're offering their children is great.
00:46:16Wide variety, a lot of home-cooked meals.
00:46:19But I can see discretionary and processed foods creeping into the diets of the parents.
00:46:24Soft drinks, the biscuits, for example.
00:46:27How about our life school parents, Josh and Cassie?
00:46:31They skip lunch.
00:46:32I do not know how they're doing this.
00:46:33They say eat when you're hungry, and this whole three meals a day is a society thing.
00:46:39This is very bad from a weight management point of view.
00:46:43Kids have such a high nutritional requirement, they need four to five to six meals per day.
00:46:49We need to move away from this fad of, I guess it's an intermittent fasting type approach.
00:46:55Otherwise, they're more likely to overeat at the meals that they are eating, which is breakfast and dinner.
00:47:00What problems do you see down the track?
00:47:03They're going to have weight issues.
00:47:06I'm very keen to talk about our positivity parents.
00:47:10I saw what goes into their cereal bowls in the morning.
00:47:15Lots of beautiful, bright colours.
00:47:17Yeah, look, you've got to be going for whole grain cereals, like oats.
00:47:22There's basically only three good options in the whole supermarket aisle that's filled with cereals.
00:47:2797% of them you've got to stay away from.
00:47:30You're kidding.
00:47:31That's the hard truth.
00:47:32Oh my gosh.
00:47:34Sean and Elvie are definitely winning the race.
00:47:38They are doing a fantastic job.
00:47:40They're offering a wide variety of foods.
00:47:42They're meeting most of the nutritional requirements.
00:47:45And those children are probably going to grow up with healthy weights and a lifelong trajectory of good health.
00:47:50Panel parents, are there any big takeaways from what Dr Nick just said?
00:47:57The breakfast one.
00:47:59Yeah, I just would like to know what those three breakfast options are so I can...
00:48:02Albaran.
00:48:03Oh.
00:48:04Wheat Bix.
00:48:05And oats.
00:48:06Oats.
00:48:07And definitely nothing colourful.
00:48:09Elvie and Sean, well done guys.
00:48:10How do you feel about everyone moving into your house because they all like the look of what you cook.
00:48:17Welcome to Perth.
00:48:18Big fist.
00:48:20You know we'll be there.
00:48:22I'm not surprised because I'm actually putting a lot of efforts to make sure our children have healthy, balanced meals.
00:48:32With the daily food challenge, I think every single family has taken something from it and is going to implement that as well into their own meal plans.
00:48:43Next, let's play the compliment game.
00:48:46Very strong.
00:48:47Aw, thanks Amanda.
00:48:49You are confident.
00:48:50That's not a compliment.
00:48:52One challenge flips the vote on its head.
00:48:55It's not really a compliment at all.
00:48:56I would be beside myself.
00:48:58That would break my heart.
00:49:01Tonight we're talking about how we pair in our children when it comes to body image.
00:49:14There's just one more challenge to go tonight.
00:49:19And we know when it comes to body image, the words we use around our kids can shape their opinions about themselves and others for years to come.
00:49:26Compliments tell us a lot about how we are perceived.
00:49:31So in this next challenge, we want to know what you have taught your kids to value.
00:49:37Are they more focused on external things like physical appearance or are they looking at internal things like personality and character traits?
00:49:45Compliments are more than words.
00:49:49They tell our loved ones that we notice them and we value them.
00:49:53Let's play the compliment game.
00:49:58Parents, it's time to find out what your kids really think of you.
00:50:02Give your parents five compliments each.
00:50:04Part of the hard way style of parenting is actually having those deep conversations.
00:50:10Very strong.
00:50:12Always sucks us in bed.
00:50:14Cares a lot about us.
00:50:16I like my kids to see me as strong, independent, healthy, you know, hardworking.
00:50:22They're the kind of things I instill in my children.
00:50:24We love you.
00:50:25We love you too.
00:50:26We love you too.
00:50:28Aww.
00:50:30I love that your children were like personality over looks.
00:50:33Yeah.
00:50:34It was all from the heart and it was all feelings of it.
00:50:36It was warm and fuzzy.
00:50:37Yeah.
00:50:40Oh, this is going to be good.
00:50:41I'm looking forward to this one.
00:50:43As positivity parents, we love to shower them with compliments.
00:50:47You are confident.
00:50:49Oh, thank you, mummy.
00:50:50I think the affirmations that we do in every single day are key for the girls feeling confident.
00:50:58Incredible.
00:50:59Oh, dad's incredible.
00:51:01Thanks, Mimi.
00:51:02Marvellous.
00:51:04Oh.
00:51:06Marvellous.
00:51:08Words like for myself like incredible and marvellous.
00:51:13I wasn't expecting to hear that.
00:51:15Thank you girls.
00:51:16Good job.
00:51:19Loved it.
00:51:20I loved how at such a young age they knew such big, strong words like, yeah, marvellous, incredible.
00:51:27I honestly don't know if my kids would know those words.
00:51:30But that comes down to those daily affirmations that you're doing every day and I loved it.
00:51:34Yeah, well done.
00:51:35Thanks.
00:51:36Well done.
00:51:37That's not a compliment.
00:51:38I know.
00:51:39Structure the sentence to reflect your writing skill, okay?
00:51:52Oh.
00:51:53As authoritative parents, we don't quite often show love in an exaggerated way.
00:52:00Mum brings a lot of fun to you guys.
00:52:02We're helping.
00:52:03Okay.
00:52:04The way we show love, care and appreciation to our children is mainly through spending quality
00:52:09time with them and also providing acts of service.
00:52:12Mum gives us restrictions, leading us to enjoy it more.
00:52:16Dad lets me relax and have free time but mum never gives us a break.
00:52:23Dad is funnier and can't do jokes.
00:52:27Mum forces us to go to too many activities but gives us exposure.
00:52:33Dad is more chill and calm.
00:52:35They are quite struggling to find a way of complimenting me.
00:52:44Mum gives me makeup for my concerts and performances.
00:52:49Dad is more fun and lets us do stuff.
00:53:02That would break my heart.
00:53:03Yeah.
00:53:04It was hard to watch.
00:53:05Yeah.
00:53:06It broke me as a parent, especially as a mother, to have no compliments about me.
00:53:11And even the compliments of dad were a dig at mum.
00:53:14It was hard.
00:53:15It was hard to watch.
00:53:18Mum never gives us a break as well as mum forces us to go to too many activities.
00:53:23It's not really a compliment at all.
00:53:25No.
00:53:26So what do you think about that?
00:53:27Does that hurt?
00:53:29I think they put it in a humour way.
00:53:31I don't feel hurt in that game.
00:53:34It would be heartbroken.
00:53:36If our kids gave me no compliments, I would smack them with a slipper.
00:53:41I often wonder what my kids are going to say to their kids about me when I'm not here.
00:53:46How do you feel knowing that maybe they won't have anything nice to say about you?
00:53:51So what I'm doing now is for a long-term goal for a better future for them.
00:53:59So when they're growing up, they would know what I have done for them.
00:54:04I don't mind being called me mum.
00:54:07What I'm doing now will help them for a better future.
00:54:11I don't speak to my mum.
00:54:12And neither does my older sister.
00:54:14And we will never speak to her again.
00:54:16And I'm not saying that that's going to happen for you.
00:54:18But from experience, maybe your girls do need to see a little bit more of a different kind of love.
00:54:25A few more compliments.
00:54:26A bit more affection.
00:54:27I think that would go a long way.
00:54:30And maybe just live in the moment sometimes.
00:54:32Like, it's not about the long-term.
00:54:34You want them to be happy now.
00:54:35Like, the moments are going, you know?
00:54:38For sure, yes.
00:54:40I will do a bit of adjustment in terms of the way I express my love and care to them.
00:54:48I give full credit to Elvie.
00:54:50Because I probably need to share a bit of that bad guy role to give her more compliments in front of children.
00:54:57To let children realise mum loves them.
00:55:00So, I think that's probably an area that I need to improve.
00:55:05Sean, I love listening to you speak about your wife.
00:55:09I hear you honour her in every interaction.
00:55:12And one of the biggest protective factors we can provide to our children is, where possible, to have a strong, solid, intact couple relationship.
00:55:22When our children see that, it provides them with a level of security and certainty that is profound in terms of their overall wellbeing.
00:55:33That was a compliment.
00:55:35I can write it on a piece of paper and put it on your chest if you need me to.
00:55:37Yes, please.
00:55:38Yes, please.
00:55:39Hearing the feedback from other parents, we learnt a lot.
00:55:44It was like a cultural sharing.
00:55:46I definitely make some changes for the way I communicate with children.
00:55:52So, make sure we are there for them when they need us.
00:56:01Coming up.
00:56:02Let's go.
00:56:03Life School Parenting comes under the microscope.
00:56:06This is an area that requires immediate intervention.
00:56:10Would you mind if we went outside and had a bit of a chat?
00:56:13I think we should.
00:56:14We're playing the compliment game and there's one more family left to see.
00:56:28Let's see how our Life School Parents went.
00:56:32Give your parents five compliments each.
00:56:35Let's go.
00:56:37As Life School Parents, we think a good compliment is one that comes from the heart and it's honest.
00:56:41Pretty.
00:56:43V-I-I.
00:56:45How does a P go?
00:56:46That way?
00:56:47Or does it a nine?
00:56:48Fun.
00:56:50N, F-U-M.
00:56:53N.
00:57:02Thank you, Kingsie.
00:57:03Nice hair.
00:57:04Does that say hair?
00:57:06Nice skin.
00:57:07Nice skin.
00:57:11what's this fun fun thank you awesome awesome
00:57:25pretty thanks mate
00:57:30I can't even write it nice hair nice hair thank you you've got the nice hair I definitely
00:57:40should have gotten that one the compliments were beautiful there was a bit of a spelling
00:57:52issue yeah that was a funny one because the spelling and the writing and the reading a
00:57:58few of them struggled at do they know how to read and write yeah they read and write
00:58:05in their own ways it's not like we sit down and give them pen and paper lessons
00:58:10what we've seen is they might need a bit more help with that we have a high school teacher
00:58:16in the room Amanda I'm just talking from my perspective I just thought it was lacking
00:58:21like a lot for their age the youngest being seven like you should be able to spell and
00:58:26read really well really well well for those words yeah they were quite easy words yeah
00:58:31I would be giving them a lot more lessons in reading and writing they they need it education
00:58:38development for children the first five years is essential so they have missed that and the
00:58:44longer they delay the harder they catch up you've been vocal about the typical educational institutions
00:58:52I'm not sure if you're homeschooling based on the curriculum of homeschooling we have to
00:58:57follow the Australian curriculum the three older boys are very good at reading the three older
00:59:03boys also began in the school system they had tertiary educated teachers kids who are homeschooled
00:59:11can have the same success in life if you've got the resources yeah I would be beside myself to be
00:59:19quite honest whether or not you believe that you're limiting their opportunities for careers later
00:59:26like you said well if they want to be a doctor they can be a doctor realistically I don't see that
00:59:32happening if they can't read so we're only looking at reading and writing but we're forgetting there's
00:59:41maths there's science there's geography there's history like they're missing out yeah they're missing
00:59:46out on so much you don't know where they're lacking as as homeschoolers no kid is behind no kid is in
00:59:52front when you homeschool it they're at their own level of what they're capable of doing within
00:59:58themselves there's what I worry about too like when they get older they apply for a casual jobs you
01:00:04need to know how to read the question we hang and apply for it even answer the question if they're
01:00:08going to struggle are you worried about where the boys are at with their reading and writing I'm not
01:00:14worried at all because they they can read and write but we didn't see that there and they were they
01:00:21need very simple words like like fun if you look at most of people on social media they can't spell
01:00:27or use grammar as well and if you're not worried about it at what point do you become worried one
01:00:34of the challenges is them having a good relationship with reading and writing and that sort of thing we
01:00:41don't want to come on too strong and too heavy for them to be fully resistive to taking it Josh I need to
01:00:48jump in you're not alarmed everybody in the room is alarmed and I'm alarmed they've got such limited
01:00:57capacity to read and write they are not just behind there's several years behind how much do you read
01:01:05to them probably not as much as we need to be honest it varies how much do they read to you
01:01:10yeah yeah probably not enough to not things like no based on what we've just heard they don't read to
01:01:16you at all yeah this is for me a massive concern and an area that requires immediate intervention my
01:01:30deepest encouragement is to find somebody who can support you in this reading is the gateway to
01:01:36learning the long-term impacts of failing to step in with some remedial work could be significant
01:01:44we would never let education to take a backseat at all because we're about knowledge is power I don't
01:01:55think it's okay to let your kids fall behind um in a way I just find that a bit selfish because your
01:02:01kids should be your priority Justin yeah would you mind if we went outside and had a bit of a chat I think
01:02:07we should let's go Justin yeah would you mind if we went outside and had a bit of a chat let's go
01:02:28come on in thank you I feel that I just need to explain something that wasn't able to be explained in
01:02:45the room around what has happened to us in the past I unfortunately used my ego to allow one of our kids
01:02:55to go to school at the age of four because I had a prep a year one a year two and a year three it's
01:03:00a lot I thought that that would create a bond but it didn't and what we have now is an extremely
01:03:05resistant child to sitting down and reading and writing you know he's not comfortable with holding
01:03:12a pen and paper um like okay yeah I just don't know how to I just wanted to come out right even if
01:03:24it's not right it's okay he flatly refuses you know like when your dad's dragging you forcefully to the
01:03:32car when you would probably rather die then go to where you're going I'm fearful to what that message tells
01:03:42my son literacy is very important but if we kill his spirit because he has to be at a benchmark because
01:03:51he is this age then have we just taken a gift out of the world there's a great irony and that in trying to
01:03:59protect him and keep him away from the thing that's making him feel awful about himself
01:04:03that avoidance actually creates an even bigger problem you're not the only family in the country
01:04:10dealing with this there are families who are dealing with absolute complete school refusal families
01:04:17that are dealing with all kinds of neuro developmental challenges and additional needs there are families
01:04:23whose children are dyslexic I really appreciate that you're being a voice for those families
01:04:29it doesn't change the need for our children to be literate there may be some additional support that
01:04:35your family needs to overcome the trauma associated with school and also learning I'd like to give you
01:04:44a handful of tips to help your son with his reading and writing the first thing to highlight is that it
01:04:51doesn't matter what he reads kids love reading if we can find the right thing for them to read
01:04:56here's the second thing read to your kids every single day individually read slower than you think
01:05:01you should the third thing I'm going to recommend ask them to read to you they're going to feel silly
01:05:08they might feel incompetent but it's when they read to you that they really start to capture it
01:05:14I'd be setting aside some fart time family all reading together you will turn them into readers and
01:05:22once they start they won't stop yeah it'll change their lives thanks Justin with our lifestyle it's
01:05:31unorthodox we definitely knew that this would come under a microscope thanks mate this is a life
01:05:39experience that we will learn from and grow from and implement to suit our family in and and get the
01:05:46support that we do need
01:05:55panel parents the focus parents have all stepped outside it is now time for you to decide which
01:06:01parenting style you think worked best in the body image challenges back row i'll get you to come round to
01:06:08the front remember all of these challenges are designed to test which parenting style is best at
01:06:14providing a healthy diet and supporting eating autonomy encouraging lifelong exercise habits and
01:06:23promoting a constructive body image all right let's talk about our positivity parents
01:06:31the affirmations are amazing i love how confident those girls are marvelous marvelous if my daughter
01:06:41put any of those words on me i would be super proud yeah but did anyone notice there's a seven-year-old
01:06:46doing 20 hours dance yeah i did notice that yeah that's pretty hardcore
01:06:51the authority parents food choices were amazing oh it looked delicious yeah yum i'd eat all of it the
01:07:00compliments with with mum she labels herself and wears it as a badge of honor as a mean mum
01:07:05mum forces us to go to too many activities dad is more fun and lets us do stuff it was hard to watch
01:07:15it might not have affected her different personality different different culture different culture
01:07:22i've only got positive things to say about them they've done great go go go go guys come on
01:07:26come on guys yeah the beep test they did great at that they strived for the for their best very strong
01:07:33their focus with body image for the most part was more on ability and personality as opposed to looks
01:07:40okay let's talk about our life school parents fun thanks be it is a concern that a lot of those
01:07:46kids can't read and spell does that say hair nice hair they're critical on traditional educational
01:07:53institutions standardizing testing but then they'll go well we're going to use tick tock as our average
01:07:59of what spelling should be that to me is just a ridiculous argument yeah i agree with that if you put the
01:08:04education thing aside and take the challenges for what they were they nailed them he doesn't seem
01:08:11face keep it going mate you're doing well that active lifestyle obviously is paying out chocolate
01:08:15that doesn't do that it will give you energy but not for as long kids were very knowledgeable about
01:08:20food they do have that smarts around some things yeah they're all over it okay guys thank you return
01:08:27to your seats let's get the focus parents back in the room focus parents the panel has talked it out
01:08:39and they are ready to share their thoughts let's hear from amy and mark yeah so we went with the
01:08:45hard way parents the kids gave great compliments i thought nothing body image relating it was all more
01:08:52personality yeah okay nathan and joanne we went with the hard way parents watching amanda work so
01:08:59hard with the running thank you for the for your children was inspiring yeah with all the the little
01:09:06compliments they were pinning on you as well there was nothing superficial about that it was all really
01:09:11lovely things that your kids you know wanted to compliment you on courtney and john we decided elvie and
01:09:18sean were the people that we learned the most from education is a big piece of your parenting style
01:09:23and that's flowed through to obviously the education on food and you're open to change and that's what
01:09:28the whole experiment is about thank you let's hear from mark and tammy we went for the hard way parents
01:09:35because they were involved with their children we just felt like you guys nailed it thank you
01:09:42well we have a clear winner tonight the best parental guidance when it comes to a healthy
01:09:47body image goes to our hard way parents amanda and hassan well done guys congratulations guys it was
01:09:59a really proud moment i could cry it was amazing thank you for another powerful look into the ups and
01:10:08downs of parenting we've made it through three of the biggest topics impacting parents and their kids
01:10:16next time we'll be ready to deal with the one that is on everyone's mind we tackle mental health
01:10:27if anything in this program raises concerns about eating disorders or body image issues
01:10:32please contact the butterfly foundation on 1800 33 4673 or butterfly.org.au next time in the last of our
01:10:45special event series we have an incredible mental illness challenge in this country it's the invisible
01:10:52crisis crippling the nation he screamed from 7pm till 3am every single night it was horrific
01:10:58it was horrific tonight's focus parents will be back in the hot seat my children call me the most mean
01:11:08mom in the world how do our parents respond when mental health takes center stage boys are naturally
01:11:17nurturing they can be stereotyping can put a lot of pressure on men and then the panel decides the
01:11:24parents with the best parental guidance when it comes to building good mental health are
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