- 2 days ago
South Park Season 26 Episode 4
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I'm going down south, I'm gonna have myself time
00:12Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation
00:15I'm going down south, I'm gonna leave my woe behind
00:18And we're parking good at night, people shouting how to never
00:22And on up south, I'm gonna see if I can't unwind
00:25Come on down south by there and meet some friends, man
00:31You guys, you guys, oh my gosh, oh my gosh
00:43What is it? What happened, baby?
00:46Clyde just sent me another text
00:48Oh, what's this one say?
00:50I texted him if he thought about me all the time and he texted back
00:54It certainly seems like all the time
00:56It's hard to get someone like you out of my mind
00:58Doesn't he just send the best texts ever?
01:03Yeah, he sure does
01:04Yesterday I texted him, how do you know you're in love with me?
01:07And he said, I know I'm in love with you because spending time with you
01:10Makes me feel like I'm home and I can't imagine life without you
01:13Oh, sweet, Clyde wrote that?
01:17OMG, Clyde, do you really care about me that much?
01:20Does Dan ever talk to you like that, Wendy?
01:22No, every time I send Stan a text, he just responds with a thumbs-up emoji
01:27Yeah, well, Clyde is just really into me
01:29Oh, he's texting back
01:31Yes, I do care about you that much
01:33You mean a lot to me and I care deeply about you
01:36He sure is in love with you, baby
01:39He's a goddamn dreamboat
01:41Hey, Stan, is there a time we could talk today?
01:59I'm feeling a little insecure about some things
02:01Hey, Clyde, can I talk to you?
02:20Sure, bro
02:21Well, um, Wendy just came up to me and was acting all hurt
02:24Because she thinks I don't care about her
02:25Uh-huh
02:28When she said that she wishes I would reply to her text
02:30The way that Clyde responds to babies
02:32So, like, how do you do it?
02:35Chat GPT, dude
02:36Chat GPT?
02:39Yeah, dude
02:39There's a bunch of apps and programs you can subscribe to
02:42That use OpenAI to do all your writing for you
02:44People use them to write poems, write job applications
02:46But what they're really good for is dealing with chicks
02:49Here, check it out
02:50There's tons of chat GPT apps for your phone
02:53So then I can take whatever latest dumb thing baby texted me
02:56I copy it
02:56Then I open the GPT app
02:58Click Respond to
02:59Paste her text here
03:00Hit write
03:01It just thinks for a second
03:02You would look great with any length of hair
03:04Trying a new look could be fun
03:05Copy that into messages and send it off
03:08It's super easy and convenient
03:10And it saves me a ton of time
03:11Because she texts me so goddamn much
03:13Jesus Christ
03:14I probably won't do it
03:16But thanks for being supportive
03:17Cut, paste, write
03:18Cut, messages, paste, send
03:20There
03:20All done with her stupid shit
03:26This is a real app?
03:28It'll completely change your life, bro
03:29Just, uh, just don't tell anybody, huh?
03:33If Bebe found out, I'd be a dead man
03:46The ink on the paper makes me nervous
03:56I nearly lose my vision
03:59Then my breath and my pulse and my mind
04:04Quicken
04:06Head below my knees like I'm alive
04:10With every stroke of every letter
04:13With every stroke of every letter and every line you write
04:15Keeps me awake thinking back
04:18Oh, my first sight of you was my first heart attack
04:23Every letter makes me lose my reason
04:27Every word is like your kindest touch
04:32And if I told you how much I need you
04:35Would you give me yourself a turn and run?
04:40You light up desire
04:42Just by describing it
04:44I read to myself until I go blind
04:48Your words fall around me
04:50All through the night
04:52I can't resist
04:54And I don't want to fight
04:56Will you be held?
04:58Will you be touched?
04:59By my hand through this paper
05:01This is all too much
05:03Will we be ravaged?
05:06Will we be true?
05:08To somebody perfect
05:09Somebody like you
05:11I'm tired of yearning
05:13I'm tired of learning
05:15I need to drink you
05:17My heart has been burning
05:19Hello?
05:24Hey, Stan, I didn't get it yet
05:25Didn't get what?
05:27You asked me if I wanted a bedtime story about frogs
05:30Or a song about swans
05:31I said a bedtime story
05:32Oh, yeah, I wrote it
05:34I'll send it to you right now
05:35Okay, bye!
05:47Okay, children, let's take our seats
05:57I've graded your midterm essays
06:00And I have to say
06:00For the most part
06:01They were terrible
06:02However, there were some essays
06:04That I'm very happy with
06:06There was a really great essay
06:07From Clyde
06:08On the 1840s labor unions
06:10And their effect
06:11On the industrial revolution
06:12Let's hear it for Clyde, kids
06:14Great work, Clyde
06:15Thank you, thank you
06:17Uh-huh
06:19What?
06:20Someone who never writes good essays
06:22Butters
06:23Wrote an amazing piece on
06:25Post-Cold War Poland
06:26And the changing provision of security
06:28Check plus, Butters
06:30Oh, uh, thanks
06:32And we also have another student
06:35Who wrote a shockingly good paper
06:37This one's called
06:38A Feminist Neoliberal Perspective
06:40Post-War Afghanistan
06:42By Eric Cartman
06:44Ah, yes, thank you
06:45Thank you
06:46And this week
06:50We have a new student
06:51To the check plus club
06:52For an amazing essay
06:54Called
06:54Writing a policy
06:55About improving the rights
06:56Of migrant workers
06:58Let's hear it for Stan
06:59All right
07:09What the hell is going on
07:10You tell me what's going on
07:12Clearly
07:13Somebody told Stan
07:14About ChatGPT
07:15You guys are using it
07:17To write essays, too
07:18Yes, we are all using it
07:19And we had a pact
07:20That we wouldn't tell anyone else
07:21Because then everyone
07:22Will start using it
07:23And Mr. Garrison
07:24Will figure it out
07:24So who fucking blabbed is Stan
07:26I just told Stan
07:27About it as a tool
07:28To text his girlfriend
07:28God damn it, Clyde
07:30You don't use
07:31An amazing AI cheating tool
07:32To talk to girls
07:33You're gonna ruin everything
07:35This can't be open source, you guys
07:37If everyone starts using ChatGPT
07:39Then we lose our unfair advantage
07:41Oh God fucking damn it
08:09If they find out that we don't have to work anymore
08:27Then they aren't gonna wanna work
08:29And then we're all screwed
08:30Who's the one who first found ChatGPT
08:32And thought to use it for essays
08:33Butters
08:34Right
08:34But then Butters told me about it
08:36And I told him not to tell anyone else
08:38Right
08:38But then you went
08:39And blabbed about it to Clyde
08:40That's right
08:41I was a little excited
08:42You guys
08:42I'm not gonna tell anyone else
08:44You really think I want Wendy
08:45Finding out about this thing
08:46Fine
08:47So we're all in it together
08:48But you guys need to be careful
08:50What you use it for
08:51Because once you bring girls into things
08:53They're gonna ruin it
08:54Just like slavery
08:56Oh God
09:05I can't take it, Rick
09:06What's the matter?
09:08I was just grading these stupid papers all the time
09:10I have to read them all
09:12And comment on each one of them
09:13Jesus Christ
09:14Something's changed
09:16And now a few of the kids
09:17Are writing these really long, detailed essays
09:19I don't know what's going on
09:21I guess I just taught them really well
09:23Maybe a bit too well
09:24Uh, yeah
09:26Have you ever heard of ChatGPT?
09:30ChatGP who's a what?
09:31The fuck is that?
09:32There's a few apps now, really
09:34But see?
09:35It has AI and takes any subject matter
09:37And can instantly give you
09:38Whatever kind of content you want
09:39Wait a minute
09:42There's an app
09:43That anyone can use
09:45That does all the thinking and writing for you?
09:48Yeah
09:48Well this is gonna be amazing
09:51I can use it to grade all my papers
09:53And no one will ever know
09:54Uh, yeah, sure
09:56I'll just type the title of the essay in
09:58And it'll generate a comment
10:00And I don't even have to read the stupid things
10:02Yeah, and then you'll have more free time
10:04Oh, this is great
10:05Thanks so much
10:06Just gotta make sure nobody finds out
10:08I'm being sneaky
10:09Oh, and hey, Rick
10:11Yeah?
10:12Thanks for all the replies to my text today
10:15They were really supportive
10:16Oh, yeah
10:18Sure thing
10:23This place is good, right?
10:33Yeah, it's really good
10:34Well, I know it's not much
10:36But I just wanted to take you out somewhere to say thanks, Stan
10:38For what?
10:40For stepping up and working on communication when I asked you to
10:43Oh, that's cool
10:44The things we've talked about, Stan
10:47It's really helping me
10:50I don't feel so alone and misunderstood
10:53I've been so scared for so long to tell anyone what happened to me when I was six
10:58Yeah
11:00And everything you had to say about it was just right
11:04It really changed the way I think about the whole thing
11:07Yeah
11:09And when you said the same thing happened to you
11:13I couldn't believe it
11:15Were you home when it happened?
11:17Yep
11:19But you're right
11:20We can't dwell on those things
11:22You're right about a lot of stuff
11:24There was just that one thing I don't understand
11:26About the boating accident in Switzerland?
11:29The boating accident in Switzerland
11:31Was tough
11:33I thought you said it was great
11:35It was great
11:37And very tough
11:38But how did it cause the thing with your cousin?
11:43Oh, shit
11:44What time is it?
11:45It's a little after four
11:46Oh, shit
11:47My mom told me to be home right at a little after four
11:49Sorry, Wendy
11:49I gotta get going
11:50No, no, no
11:51That's totally okay
11:52I gotta get going, too
11:53Okay, cool
11:54Thank you
11:56So much, Stan
11:58Thank you for being the only real thing in my life
12:03Shit
12:10Oh, baby
12:14Your name is like a song
12:15A melody stuck in my head so long
12:18I can't help but smile when I hear it said
12:21Baby, the name always in my head
12:24Oh, God, so obvious
12:26I dream of spending my days with you, baby
12:29In South Park or anywhere that may be
12:32Talking, laughing, just being together
12:34In a dream I hope will last forever
12:36Excuse me, Mr. Garrison
12:39Mr. Garrison
12:42Oh, yeah, what?
12:43I'm sorry, but I need to address your class really quick
12:46Oh, yeah, yeah, sure
12:48Go ahead
12:48Okay, kids, I need to discuss a very serious matter
12:52There's a rumor going around that someone at this school
12:56Is using open AI technology to do their work
13:00Well, that's crazy
13:09Who would do that?
13:10Now, I know that everyone at this school is honest
13:13Hardworking
13:14Wouldn't even want to use this chat GBD
13:18Chat GPT?
13:20Okay
13:21But the school board has decided to call in a company
13:24That can detect AI in schoolwork
13:27And make sure nobody here is cheating
13:28They are going to what?
13:31So, we're just going to collect all the schoolwork that we can
13:34Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
13:35And we're going to have them analyze for any AI contributions
13:38Well, those aren't quite ready
13:40Don't worry, we'll get these all back to you after the testers look through them
13:43Okay, kids, sorry for the intrusion
13:45Get back to your day
13:46God fucking damn it
13:50I told you guys this was going to happen
13:52What are we going to do?
13:53There's nothing we can do
13:54It's over, we've lost our unfair advantage
13:56That's not what's important
13:57If they find out I've been using open AI for class
13:59Wendy's going to know I've been using it with her
14:00And it's going to crush her
14:02Dude, same
14:02Baby's going to fucking kill me
14:04And whose fault is that, you guys?
14:06I told you that once you bring women into things
14:08They ruin it just like they did slavery
14:09Okay, Eric, could you explain exactly how women ruin slavery?
14:13No, I can't
14:14Because I can't use fucking chat GBD anymore
14:15Because we got fucking busted
14:16Look, maybe
14:17Maybe this AI detection technology won't work
14:20It doesn't matter if it doesn't work
14:22Cat is out of the bag now
14:24This was supposed to be our thing
14:25For us to get ahead
14:26But now
14:27God damn it, get the fuck out of here
14:31Okay, I'm just a little confused
14:37You think we shouldn't have the kids' schoolwork analyzed for using AI writing apps?
14:43Look, it's just
14:44It's really unfair to the kids
14:46I mean, what are we saying?
14:47That we don't trust them?
14:49I mean, jeez
14:50But don't you think if kids aren't writing their own papers, we should know?
14:55Oh, what are people afraid of?
14:57That AI is going to replace real writers?
14:59That Hollywood is going to become just a bland recycling of old ideas?
15:02It already is!
15:04AI might help it!
15:05Well, I don't know what you want me to do
15:07Yes?
15:09Mr. Mackey, the technician from the school advisory board just pulled into the parking lot
15:14Someone here used an AI technology to do their classwork?
15:32If there is chat GPT being used here, I will find it
15:36Shadowbane, fly!
15:38Hello, I'm the counselor here at South Park Elementary
15:52This is one of our teachers, Mr. Garrison
15:54I have been hired by the Park County School Board to determine
16:00if any students are using generative AI technology to do their work
16:05Uh, yes, we're excited to work with you
16:09We have a lot of great students here
16:10It only takes one student
16:14And then it spreads like a cancer
16:19Come, Shadowbane
16:22Let us find this chat GPT using Cheetah
16:25I'm going to get fired
16:37That's it
16:38Mr. Garrison, can I talk to you?
16:42Oh, is it important, Stan?
16:43Because I'm kind of dealing with some stuff right now
16:45Yes, it is important
16:47You know, when you've done something wrong
16:50Sometimes the best thing to do is just come out and admit it
16:53Okay
16:56Okay, you're right
16:58How did you find out?
17:01Clyde told me about it
17:01I came to you because if they find out something about me
17:05And you punish me
17:06It's going to really hurt Wendy
17:08I don't want to punish anyone, Stan
17:11I completely understand
17:13You do?
17:14Sure, I think most of the world does
17:16I mean, why does it matter who uses AI apps?
17:19It's just like having a good writer's assistant
17:21Yeah, like a good writer's assistant
17:23Yeah
17:24I mean, you're still the one taking the time to, like, push the buttons and stuff
17:27Yeah
17:28So you really don't think Wendy'd be upset I used ChatGPT to respond to her texts?
17:33Hold on
17:34People can use it to respond to other people's texts?
17:44Rick!
17:45That lying piece of shit!
17:47But we were just saying it was understandable
17:48No, this is totally different
17:50Whoever uses it for messages is a fucking monster
17:53Okay, everyone, please just stay calm
17:58They got him
17:59They found the kid that's been using the AI app
18:01Kids back!
18:05Kids back, all of you!
18:06I have the student isolated inside
18:08What exactly have you found?
18:11We went through thousands of papers
18:13But then Shadowbane detected ChatBot writing in this student's phone
18:17There, you see?
18:20She's going crazy
18:21Oh, no
18:23What is going on?
18:30Oh, God
18:30No, no, no, no
18:31The GPT stuff on her phone didn't come from her
18:33Keep all the children back, Mackie
18:35We can't let it spread
18:37I will go inside
18:38And get her confession
18:40You have been cheating on your schoolwork
19:01No, I haven't
19:02Say it!
19:03You have used ChatGTB to write your essays for you
19:05Now humble yourself before the school
19:07I write my own essays
19:09I don't know what to do
19:10I'm not creative enough to think of a way out of this
19:13Wait
19:14That's it
19:15Once upon a time
19:43There was a boy named Stan
19:45Who lived in South Park
19:46Stan loved his girlfriend very much
19:49But lately he hadn't been truthful with her
19:52One day
19:53When Stan got to school
19:54He was approached by his best friend
19:56Dude, did you hear what happened to your girlfriend?
19:59No, what about her?
20:00Dude, she got caught cheating on her essay
20:01Just then
20:02Stan noticed a commotion
20:04Down the hallway
20:04This student is going to jail for cheating
20:07Drugs are bad, okay?
20:10Hold it right there
20:12Look, everyone
20:14We can't blame people who are using ChatGPT
20:16It's not their fault
20:17Well, whose fault is it?
20:20I'll tell you who
20:20It's the giant tech companies
20:21Who took OpenAI
20:22Packaged it
20:23Monetized it
20:24And pushed it out to all of us
20:25As fast as they could
20:26In order to get ahead
20:27OpenAI is so powerful
20:28That it has to be something
20:29That everyone can use
20:30Control and contribute to
20:31Or else AI will be controlled by corporations
20:33Who just want an unfair advantage
20:34Like Cartman does
20:35Ah!
20:36Screw you, you dumb dude
20:37We don't want big corporations
20:39Deciding what's ethical
20:40And acceptable for AI
20:41We were all taken advantage of
20:42And that's why my girlfriend
20:43Would totally understand
20:44That I used ChatGPT
20:45To respond to her attacks
20:46That's right
20:47Well, I guess we can let you go now, ma'am
20:50I will find these tech companies
20:52Who are trying to use OpenAI
20:53For their own games
20:54And I will stop them
20:55Okay, kids
20:56I think we can all go home
20:58Okay?
20:59Everyone was happy
21:00And Stan's girlfriend
21:01Completely forgave him
21:03Thanks for saving me, Stan
21:05You're welcome, sweetheart
21:06Class dismissed
21:08Yay!
21:10Yay!
21:18Boy, I'm sure glad that's over with
21:20Yeah, but I'm still really not sure
21:22What just happened
21:23Well, now at least we know
21:25That sometimes a good old thumbs up
21:26From a human
21:26Is better than a machine-generated lie
21:28Yeah
21:29Yeah, you're right, Stan
21:30I love you
21:31Dude
21:33How did you pull all that off?
21:35ChatGPT, dude
21:37ChachiPT, dude
21:37ChachiPT, dude
21:37ChachiPT, dude
22:05ChachiPT, dude
22:06No one's missing
22:07I love you
22:07Hale, Mark
22:09No one's missing
22:10One, two, one
22:10One, one
22:11ChachiPT
22:11Lo tree
22:12I love you
22:12ChachiPT, dude
22:12discovered each of them
22:12Seven, one
22:13No one
22:13Back, he stops
22:26Okay?
22:27It wasn't
22:2820 chips
22:29That thousands can
22:30ChachiPt, dude
22:31ChachiPT, dude
22:31ChachiPT, man
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