- yesterday
South Park Season 26 Episode 5
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00I'm going down south, I'm gonna have myself time
00:12Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation
00:15I'm going down south, I'm gonna leave my woe behind
00:18Am I parking day or night? People shouting, howdy neighbors
00:22And I'm up south, I'm gonna see if I can't unwind
00:25Come on down south, I'm gonna meet some friends, man
00:31Phillies, hey Phillies, you're not gonna believe it
00:41Butters, what the hell are you wearing?
00:42I got a job over the ice cream shop
00:44Guess what, I got my very first paycheck
00:47That's not fair, I want a paycheck
00:50My dad told me if I got a job, we could put my paychecks in my very own bank account
00:54I want a bank account, I didn't know kids could get jobs
00:57Yeah, well I guess these days it's real hard for businesses to find people to work
01:01So they'll take whatever they can get
01:02I want to take whatever I can get
01:04It's what they call the great resignation labor shortage
01:07So now if you have your parents' permission, there's some jobs they'll even let kids do
01:10That is messed up, why does he get to have a job? I want a job
01:14You wouldn't last four hours on a job, fat ass
01:16Excuse me? That's easy for you to say you don't need a job
01:19Because you live in a nice house
01:20I have to live in a shithole like Kenny does
01:22It's not fair that some people in our country are given the opportunity for employment
01:25While others aren't
01:26I'm gonna tell my mom
01:30Mom, mom, I need your permission to get a job
01:37Oh, you're too young to have a job, sweetie
01:40Butter's got a job
01:41Mom, look at this shithole we live in
01:45Somebody has to get a job because you can sit on your ass all day
01:47I had a job, Eric, but you got me fired because you wanted me taking care of you
01:52And that's why we had to sell our house
01:55Yes, right, because I'm the man of the house
01:57You're supposed to take care of me, and I'm supposed to go get a job
02:00You really expect us to live like this the rest of our lives?
02:03This is not a proper place to raise a job
02:05You have to let me go find a job, mom
02:07Eric, the truth is I don't think you'd last four hours at a job
02:11Oh, now you sound like Kyle
02:13Do you run Hollywood with him? Are you a Jew, too, ma'am?
02:16All right, Eric, fine
02:17You want to go get a job and have a little dose of reality?
02:20Maybe it'll be good for you
02:21Thanks, ma'am
02:23I love you
02:24Lou, Lou, Lou, I'm serving ice cream
02:28Lou, Lou, Lou, you'll eat it, too
02:30Lou, Lou, Lou, I'm serving
02:31Okay, and the pistachio maple cream
02:34Let me know if you need extra napkins for your table
02:36And have a creamy day
02:37Oh, hey, Eric
02:42Hey, Butters, I'm here for my job
02:43What are you talking about?
02:45My mom gave me permission, I can start work now
02:47What do I do?
02:48Well, but, Eric, this is my job
02:50Yeah, I want your job
02:51Sitting around eating ice cream, sounds fun
02:53Eric, there's a lot more to it than that
02:55And I already do this job, too
02:56Is everything all right, Butters?
02:57Oh, yes, Mr. Sheldon
02:58I was just telling you
02:59Hello, sir
03:00I'm a dear friend of Butters
03:01He told me all about this place
03:02And said I should get permission from my mom to work here
03:04Oh, well, I do need all the help I can get
03:07Butters, can you vouch for him?
03:09Is he trustworthy and reliable?
03:10Uh, uh, well
03:13Um, okay
03:18All right, well, let's find him a uniform
03:20And you can start training him
03:21Hey, man, I got a job
03:23All right, Eric, so there's three types of ice cream
03:31Waffle cone, sugar cone, and cups
03:32Uh-huh, and when do we get to have breaks?
03:34Well, you get a ten-minute break every two hours
03:37But only after you check all the freezers
03:39Which are right over there
03:40And need to always be set to zero degrees
03:42Okay, and how much longer do we have to be here?
03:44Eric, please, I don't want to lose this job
03:45Oh, hello, sir
03:46Hope you're having a creamy day
03:48What can I get for you?
03:49Can I have a single scoop of coconut almond fudge?
03:52Okay
03:52Eric, can you scoop out some coconut almond fudge?
03:56Why?
03:57Because it's your job, Eric
03:58Whoa, Butters
03:59Let's not make this a toxic work environment, okay?
04:03One second, sir, I'll get that scoop
04:05Yeah, I got a job in an ice cream shop
04:12Yeah, it's dumb as hell, but I'm gonna start getting paychecks
04:15But, Butters, what is this about?
04:18Oh, sorry, sir
04:19Eric?
04:20Yeah, no, she's pretty hot, but she's got droopy boobs
04:22Eric!
04:23Eric, you can't just sit there at a table
04:25Yeah, I can, it's Monday
04:26So?
04:27So haven't you heard of Bare Minimum Mondays?
04:29It's a thing that young people have created because we care about our mental health
04:31I don't care if it's Bare Minimum Mondays
04:33Eric, you need to come
04:34Oh, break time
04:35I'll be back
04:46Butters, Butters, we gotta line out the door
04:48People are getting upset
04:49I know, sir, I'm sorry
04:51Well, where is your friend?
04:52He hasn't come back from his break yet
04:54Butters, Stotch?
04:56Yes
04:57Delivery for you
04:58Hey, Butters
05:03Eric, where are you?
05:05I wasn't feeling the best, so I decided to work from home
05:07Butters, what's going on?
05:09Uh, Eric says he's gonna work from home
05:11How can he work from home?
05:12This is an ice cream shop
05:14Yeah, no, because, see, I'm actually taking a mental health day
05:17Yeah, young people can just ask for a mental health day
05:19And employers can't deny them
05:20It's my mental health day
05:21Eric, you need to come here right now
05:23Or we're both gonna get fired
05:25Okay, I guess so
05:27But don't forget that tomorrow is Take It Easy Tuesdays
05:29Okay, thanks for coming and have a creamy day
05:37Hi, hope you're having a creamy day
05:39Can I help you?
05:40You know what's total bullcrap, Butters?
05:42It's how much money the owner of this place is making while we're out here busting our asses
05:45I mean, what does that old fart even do?
05:47Eric, could you please feel this nice lady's order?
05:50Oh, yes, let me get that for you, master
05:52Right away now
05:53I mean, seriously, Butters
05:55Why do we have to work for the owner?
05:56We know how to do all this stuff now
05:58We don't even need that guy
05:59There has to be a way we could turn the tables
06:00There has to be a way we could make all the money
06:03Wait a minute
06:23Butters, Butters, that's it
06:39Eric
06:43Kitty
06:49Kitty
06:51Kitty
06:52You're not going to believe this, but
06:54I just quit my job
06:56You had a job?
06:58Yes, I had a job
06:59But I got fed up
07:01Sick of working my fingers to the bone from some piece of shit owner
07:03And that's when it hit me
07:05Kenny
07:06We should open a restaurant
07:08Why the fuck are you in that restaurant?
07:13You know the hot dog I've been living in?
07:14It's an old, like, historic landmark
07:16It's been sitting right in front of us, completely ready to go
07:18All it would take is some minor renovations
07:21And some care
07:22We could make it awesome with, like, fun things for kids to do
07:25And rides and games
07:26A place that people from all over Colorado would want to come and see
07:29And we would be the owners
07:32And we could have all the hot dogs we wanted
07:34Oh, aren't you sick of living like this, Kitty?
07:38All we need is an investor, and we can make our dreams come true
07:42And I know somebody who has a bank account and gets paychecks every week
07:46No, no, no, no, no, thank you, no
07:50Butters, don't you want to invest your money in something that matters?
07:53Butters, that's why we came to your bank to offer you this awesome deal
07:55What we can do, Eric, is set up a line of credit for an LLC
07:59Which then pays you back not only your investment, but also principal in the company
08:03But I like my ice cream job, I don't want to open a hot dog
08:06No, you keep working at the ice cream shop
08:08We're going to open the hot dog
08:09All you do is collect the money as the investor
08:11Yeah, but this is my money, I worked hard for it
08:14Butters, it's just like, you're lucky, you know, you have money
08:18But look at Kenny
08:19Can you imagine what it's like for him?
08:22Watching rich white boys like you just collecting paycheck after paycheck
08:25While he wallows in the filth of his tiny house
08:27But filth?
08:29Butters, Kenny deserves a chance to be able to work like you do
08:32Please, give him that chance
08:34I just give a bit of my paycheck every week to you guys
08:39And we pay you back as soon as we make our first dollar, Butters
08:42You have my word on it
08:43Oh, okay
08:45Yeah!
08:47Guys, we're going into the restaurant business
08:49Sunday morning ever, and Sundays pass on by
09:05I'll be working here forever, at least until I die
09:09Damn, if you do, damn, if you don't
09:12I'm supposed to get a race next week, you know that when I won't
09:15Working for 11
09:16Working for 11
09:19Working for 11
09:22I'm taking what they're giving, cause I'm working for 11
09:27Hey, I'm not complaining, cause I really need to work
09:36But hitting up my buddy's got me feeling like a jerk
09:39$100 condo, $200 red
09:42I get a check on Friday, but it's already spent
09:45Working for 11
09:46Working for 11
09:50Working for 11
09:53I'm taking what they're giving, cause I'm working for 11
09:57This is going to be the best restaurant in Colorado, Keeney
10:06And I know exactly what we should name it
10:09Tom, I'm standing out front of a Colorado icon
10:16The old Coney Island hot dog, where the owners plan to reopen soon
10:20The hot dog stand is going through major renovations
10:23And the new name has just been announced
10:26Dick and Bow's Hot Dogs is sure to be a big hit here in town
10:30He said it, we got him to say Dick and Bow's
10:33The owners say they're planning on all kinds of rides and games
10:37And also, with each hot dog served here at Dick and Bow's Hot Dogs
10:41They actually use the ketchup to put a nice little smiley face on the plate
10:45It's just their sort of trademark touch
10:48The renovations are supposed to be finished soon
10:50And the new owners are inviting everyone to come on down, enjoy, and
10:54Let Dick and Bow's put a smile on your buns
10:57Let Dick and Bow's put a smile on your buns
11:02Oh, hey, Butters
11:06We have some of those first quarter projections to show you
11:09Do you have the first quarter projections, Keeney?
11:11Oh, well, so cool
11:13Are you guys just playing around?
11:15No, we are renovating and opening an amazing restaurant
11:17That will be extremely profitable
11:18Then why did you name it Dick and Bow's?
11:21Butters, you are the investor
11:22We are the creatives
11:23Well, stop being creative and open the goddamn restaurant
11:25So I can get my money back
11:27So stop dicking around and wasting my money
11:29Butters, at Dick and Bow's, dicking around is all we do
11:32Dicking around the competition
11:34What on earth?
11:52Okay, that's good
11:56Mermaid goes in the mermaid grotto right over there
11:58Eric, Eric, I think you've done enough renovations
12:01Mom, no offense, but will you shut your mouth
12:04Because you know nothing about the restaurant business
12:05Excuse me, are you guys the owners?
12:08Yes, we are the owners
12:09Well, we got your zipline put in, but this asphalt is so old
12:13It's not going to hold the eye bolts
12:14So what does that mean?
12:15I think you got to re-asphalt the entire parking area
12:18Or just lose the zipline
12:20Well, obviously we're not going to lose the zipline
12:21So let's see what we can do
12:22All right, well, then over here on your mermaid grotto
12:25The mermaid is in, but she can't actually spit water
12:29Because there's no plumbing underneath
12:30Jesus Christ
12:31Well, I guess we got to find a way to add plumbing
12:33All right, everyone, it's looking good
12:35But we have a ways to go
12:36I don't know about you, but I am exhausted
12:39I think we should just all take the rest of the day off
12:41Because it is
12:42Let's not work too hard Wednesdays
12:44All right
12:44Oh, okay
12:45Back from work, Butters?
12:57Oh, hey, Mom and Dad
12:59You must be so tired from selling all that ice cream
13:03Well, yeah, it was a pretty long night
13:05A long night, he says
13:07That's great, Butters
13:09Only problem is
13:10If you're really working at a job
13:13Then why is there
13:14Zero dollars in your bank account?
13:17What?
13:17So now what are you really doing, young man?
13:20Zero dollars, but I've been working every day
13:22Oh, sure
13:24I know exactly how it is
13:25You say you have to work so you can get out of the house
13:28Get away from the family
13:29And you go down to that glory hole down on 4th and Larimer
13:32Oh, my God, Butters
13:33And while your family thinks you're at your job
13:35You're actually strapped face down on a bed at the Brighton Motel
13:38Taking any load you can find on Adult Friend Finder
13:41It's the lies
13:43It's the lies
13:44I can't take anymore
13:45I'm gonna go to the office and get some work done
13:47That's son of a good
13:52Oh, man, it's the stupid bank
14:06Hey, Butters
14:07God dang it, Eric
14:08What the hell do you think you're doing?
14:10You can't take my money out of my gosh dang bank account
14:12Without my permission
14:13You know that
14:13You stupid
14:14Butters
14:14Butters
14:15Butters
14:15Butters, will you relax?
14:18Where's all the money gone from my bank account?
14:20You said to get things moving
14:22We needed the funds to go faster
14:23You said you'd never access my account without my permission
14:27Butters, we're about to reopen a historic landmark
14:30That means something to people
14:31You think I'm just doing all this for the fun of it?
14:33Hang on a second
14:33Whee
14:35We're creating jobs, Butters
14:38And we're helping people
14:39Then open this stupid place, Eric
14:41Fine
14:42We'll start hiring tomorrow morning
14:44And we'll be open by the afternoon
14:45And trust me, Butters
14:47When we open
14:47And you see how successful it is
14:49You're gonna apologize to me
14:51What the hell is going on?
15:02Why is nobody showing up?
15:03I don't know, Pete
15:03Hey, hey, excuse me
15:06You wanna come work at Dick and Boss for minimum wage?
15:10No
15:11That's cause your generation is lazy
15:15You got all comfy during the pandemic
15:16Nobody knows how to work anymore
15:18They're saying you people here might have a job?
15:27Oh, yes, please, have a seat
15:28Um, so, uh, what kind of experience do you have?
15:32Well, I was working down at the Bud factory in Fort Collins
15:35But then Joe Biden caused a recession
15:37So they took my job
15:39Ooh
15:40Then I worked over at Waffle House
15:42But they decided they needed employees to be more inclusive
15:45So they took my job
15:47So did you know?
15:49And then I got let go from the bowling alley
15:51And all I want is a damn job
15:54Well, I believe that we here at Dick and Boss
15:56Would like to hire you immediately
15:58Okay
15:59Can I work from home?
16:01What?
16:02No, you can't work from home
16:03It's a hot dog stand
16:04Well, I could work here
16:06But I'll need mental health days off
16:07To deal with the toxic environment
16:09Where do people get this stuff?
16:11All right, fine, never mind
16:12We don't want to hire you
16:13You're gonna take my job?
16:15They took my job
16:17They took my job
16:19Took my job
16:20Good morning, everyone
16:36After an exhaustive search for employees
16:38We have determined that you are the best of the best
16:41What is this?
16:46Yes, um
16:47We're sure you're excited to be part of the Dick and Boss team
16:49And we are certainly glad to have you here
16:51We're happy to be here
16:52Shut up, Scott
16:53Now, listen
16:54It's gonna take dedication and drive to get this place open
16:57Isn't that right, Kenny?
16:58Sorry, Kenny's working from home today
16:59Because it's his mental health day
17:00Okay
17:01Hi
17:02Now, there may not be many of us
17:04But in order to open, we're gonna have to
17:06Do I get mental health days, too?
17:08Oh, here we go
17:08Fine, Clyde
17:09What days do you need to have mental health days?
17:11Well, how should I, though?
17:12Until I'm feeling mentally unhealthy
17:13Goddammit, you guys
17:14It isn't gonna work like this, okay?
17:16And I'm also gonna need five-minute breaks
17:18Every hour to check my insulin levels
17:20You're fucking joking
17:21This is a goddamn restaurant, you guys
17:23There's no time for diabetes
17:25You don't hear Mrs. Anderson complaining about her time off
17:27I don't work on nothing, it's Thursdays
17:32Oh, that's it
17:34That's it, I give up
17:35It's impossible to open any kind of business these days
17:38When this generation doesn't know how to work
17:40Hey, fellas
17:41Oh, great
17:42Now the bank is here
17:43Scrooge McButters to collect on his money
17:45You haven't made any money
17:47Butters
17:48The truth is
17:49We tried
17:50The fact of the matter is
17:52The U.S. government failed this generation
17:53By shutting down businesses in the pandemic
17:55And now they don't know how to go back
17:57I'm sorry
17:57But we lost all your money
17:59But there is a good side to this
18:01Because as you can see
18:02I now have a house that has slides and games
18:04And a mermaid grotto
18:04And you can come and hang out all you want
18:06Gosh dang it
18:09Attention everyone
18:18Digaboz is now open for business
18:20Welcome to Digaboz, how can I help you?
18:37Look at the little smile on the plate, honey
18:49Oh, you like that, don't you?
18:50You guys, it's working
19:02We're doing it
19:03Oh, roll
19:04Mmm, hey, that's a pretty good hot dog
19:11I just love to have all the fun stuff for kids to do here
19:14Hey, great job, kid
19:25You really did it, Eric
19:26Congratulations, Eric
19:28You're a hero
19:29Oh, my God
19:29Oh, my God
19:30Well, congratulations, young man
19:38Digaboz hot dogs is a big success
19:40And here's your first return on your investment
19:43I'm sure there's many more to come
19:45Oh, I made my money back, huh?
19:47Now, what I'm digging, Butters
19:48Is that we should grow your business
19:49By applying for a corporate loan
19:51Which could pay you dividends
19:53As you expand the company into new areas
19:55Yeah, I wasn't thinking that
19:56See, all I ever wanted was just to do my job
19:59Learn how to work
20:00And help Mr. Sullivan sell ice cream
20:02So I'm thinking I'm actually going to conduct a market analysis
20:05To look for potential buyers
20:06And roll over the company as an exit strategy
20:07Well, you could do that
20:10But I think you'd have trouble getting investors
20:12Who will commit major capital for just partial ownership
20:15Yeah, so that's why I want to approach overseas investors
20:18Who will buy the IP, the restaurant operations, and the real estate outright
20:21But you couldn't do that
20:23Because there's already tenants in the building
20:24Who have to be relocated
20:26Yeah, I thought of that too
20:27Come on in
20:28Hello
20:31Wait, so
20:33You two have already discussed some kind of deal?
20:36Oh, yes
20:36Butters and I have been talking
20:38And we think that my little Eric
20:40Deserves to get exactly what he's been wanting
20:43For a long time
20:45No, no, what are you doing?
20:49Dick and Buzz is mad
20:50You can't sell Dick and Buzz
20:51No, take me back
20:57No, please
20:59This picture go over here, Miss Cartman
21:01Oh, yes, that's perfect
21:02Thank you
21:03What, what, what, what, what is this?
21:06The new owners paid for us to have our old house back
21:09I don't want my old house
21:11I want Dick and Buzz
21:12Come on
21:13There you go, Eric
21:18It's your old room
21:19Just like you always wanted
21:21But I hate this stupid house
21:23I don't want to be here
21:24I want to be in Dick and Buzz
21:27Dick and Buzz is awesome
21:29This place sucks
21:30Please
21:31I want, I want Dick and Buzz
21:36I want my Dick and Buzz
21:39Dick and Buzz
21:40Dick and Buzz
21:42I want to be in your back
21:55Oh, yeah, wow
21:57Oh, yeah, wow
21:59Oh, yeah, wow
22:00เภImam
22:00Oh, yeah, wow
22:01Oh, yeah, whoa
22:01Oh, yeah, wow
22:02Oh, yeah, wow
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