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00:00M.T.V.
00:30M.T.V.
00:32Come on down south by there and meet some friends, man.
00:48Alexa, put on 90.1.
00:50Got it. Now playing radio station 90.1 FM.
01:00What the fuck?
01:06Mom, something's wrong with my favorite show.
01:08It's just like static.
01:10Your favorite show?
01:11Yeah, NPR, National Public Radio,
01:13where all the liberals bitch and whine about stuff.
01:15Something's wrong with it.
01:16Oh, sweetie, the president canceled NPR.
01:20What do you mean the president canceled NPR?
01:22That was like the funniest shit ever.
01:24I don't know what to tell you, hon.
01:26Oh, my God.
01:28You guys, you guys are not gonna believe this.
01:30The president of the United States canceled NPR.
01:34What's NPR?
01:35What's NPR?
01:36The funniest show ever where all the lesbians and Jews complain about stuff?
01:39The fucking president had it taken off the air.
01:41I mean, who the hell does this president think he is?
01:43The government can't cancel the show.
01:45I mean, what show are they gonna cancel next?
01:48It was seriously the best show.
01:49It had, like, gay rappers from Mexico all sad
01:51because girls in Pakistan got stoned to death.
01:53And guess why they got stoned to death?
01:54Because they were raped.
01:55It was hilarious.
01:56Why would anyone cancel that?
01:57I don't know about you, but I'm worried about what this country's coming to.
02:00It seems like everybody's changing and suddenly woke stuff is off limits.
02:03I mean, it's like now everyone rips on the Jews and it's totally fine, huh, Kyle?
02:10See? What's wrong with Kyle?
02:11Everybody's giving up.
02:12Attention, students.
02:14There will be a mandatory assembly this morning.
02:17All students report to the gym, okay?
02:20Oh, boy.
02:21Oh, boy.
02:22PC principal.
02:23He's not giving up.
02:27All right, everyone.
02:28Listen up.
02:29Everybody quiet!
02:31There's some bull crap going on in this country, and I am not going to let it corrupt the environment at this school.
02:37Oh, here we go.
02:38Now, I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of the way people are treated and mocked for being compassionate.
02:43It is out of control.
02:45There is only one thing that can bring some normality back to these corrupt times.
02:49And that is...
02:51Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
02:53What?
02:56This school has traded truth for comfort and worships idols of self and sin.
03:01We were a nation under God, but now we spit in his face and wonder why everything's falling apart.
03:05There's only one way back.
03:06Repent.
03:07Bow to Christ.
03:08Or be swept away with the rest of the godless lives.
03:11What the hell, dude?
03:13In order to turn things around, I'm going to be a power Christian principal.
03:18You can call me PC principal.
03:20So now, I'd like you all to put your hands together in welcoming Christ our Lord.
03:30Hello, my children.
03:31I am the light and the way.
03:34Fellas, what the fuck is going on?
03:36Yea, it is wonderful to be here.
03:39For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
03:44That's right!
03:45That's right!
03:46Let's go, Jesus!
03:47Fuck yeah!
03:50So, how was your day, guys?
03:57Anything fun happen at school?
03:59No, not really.
04:01Uh, Jesus showed up.
04:04Jesus?
04:05Yeah.
04:07What's Jesus doing in your school?
04:10I don't know.
04:12I don't think Jesus is allowed to be in schools.
04:16Yeah, well, he was there.
04:18Well, I think I'm going to have to talk to somebody about this.
04:23Hey, uh, how's it going?
04:25Um, is Jesus supposed to be allowed in schools?
04:28Generally, the idea is that public schools have to maintain a separation of church and state, so they can't promote any one religion.
04:38Yeah, that's what I thought.
04:39The government can't force a religion on my son.
04:42Public schools can teach about religions in a neutral educational way, but they can't endorse any particular one.
04:48Was it a lesson on all world religions?
04:51Uh, no.
04:52My son said that Jesus was literally at his school.
04:55Then you're probably right to be concerned.
05:01It's good you're looking out for your son's education.
05:04Thanks.
05:05It's really nice to have someone to talk to about all this.
05:08No worries.
05:09Let me know if there's any other way I can help.
05:11I'm always here.
05:12You're so awesome.
05:13Thanks.
05:16Good night, honey.
05:17Have a great sleep, and I'm sure you'll do more amazing things tomorrow.
05:21Butters!
05:34Ah!
05:35Butters, get over here!
05:36What did I tell you, man?
05:37This shit is whack!
05:38PC Principal?
05:39If he's changed, then there's no hope!
05:42I think I know what's happening.
05:45I think Woke is dead.
05:49Woke is dead?
05:50It's dead, Butters!
05:51It's gone!
05:52You can just stay retarded now!
05:53Nobody cares!
05:54Everyone hates the Jews!
05:56Everyone's fine with using gay slurs!
05:58Oh, well that's not good.
05:59No, it's terrible!
06:00Cause now I don't know...
06:02what I'm supposed to do.
06:12Eric?
06:20More protests today as the government pushes harder for Christianity in our nation's schools.
06:25The president stated earlier today that the spirit of Jesus is important to our country.
06:29And he will sue anyone who doesn't agree with him.
06:32What the hell is this president doing?
06:34He doesn't even act like a Christian.
06:36Why is he pushing it on our kids?
06:38I told you this was all gonna be bad, but a lot of you here voted for him.
06:42Yeah, I voted for him, but all I've seen him do is arrest and sue people.
06:45I've voted for him to get rid of all the woke stuff.
06:48But now that retarded faggot is just putting money in his own pockets.
06:51Yeah!
06:52Are we just gonna sit here and let him break every rule of freedom?
06:56No!
06:57Well, come on!
06:58Let's go get that son of a bitch!
07:11Come on out, you piece of shit!
07:12We're unelecting you!
07:13He's done!
07:14Come on!
07:15Come on!
07:16Come on!
07:17Come on!
07:18Come on!
07:19Come on!
07:20Come on!
07:21Excuse me, do you mind?
07:25What the hell do you think you're doing, Garrison?
07:29I'm not doing anything.
07:31Oh, so you haven't been looting the country and ruling by fear like some Middle Eastern tin-pot dictator?
07:38No, I've been sitting here watching White Lotus with Rick.
07:44But you got re-elected.
07:46He hasn't been back to Washington in years.
07:48He gave all that up.
07:50He's been really good.
07:53But if he's here, then who's the retarded faggot in the White House?
07:59Uh-huh.
08:00Uh-huh.
08:01Yeah.
08:02Uh-okay.
08:03Mr. President, sir, the Prime Minister of Canada is here to see you.
08:08Mr. President!
08:09Why are you placing these new tariffs on Canada?
08:14What are you?
08:15Some kind of dictator from the Middle East?
08:16A dictator from the Middle East?
08:17Hey, relax, guy.
08:18I'm just your average Joe.
08:19Take a rest.
08:20The people of Canada will not be devalued like this.
08:21Hey, come on.
08:22You don't want me to bomb you like I did Iraq.
08:23I thought you just bombed Iran.
08:24Iran, Iraq, what the hell's the difference?
08:25Relax, guy.
08:26Hey, hey, what the fuck is this better?
08:27This is the painting you asked for, sir.
08:28Why is my dick so small?
08:29But that's the size it is in the photo.
08:30Get this guy out of here.
08:31I'm going to sue you.
08:32I'm going to sue both of you.
08:33Ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:34Hey, hey.
08:35I'm going to sue you.
08:36I'm going to sue both of you.
08:37Ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:38Hey, come on.
08:39You don't want me to bomb you like I did Iraq.
08:40I thought you just bombed Iran.
08:41Iran, Iraq, what the hell's the difference?
08:42Relax, guy.
08:43Hey!
08:44Hey, what the fuck is this better?
08:45This is the painting you asked for, sir.
08:46Why is my dick so small?
08:48But that's the size it is in the photo.
08:50Get this guy out of here.
08:51I'm going to sue you.
08:52I'm going to sue both of you.
08:54Ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:59Nobody makes fun of me and gets away with it.
09:05Hey, Satan.
09:07I don't want to right now.
09:09What?
09:10Hey, relax.
09:11Come on, Satan.
09:12I've been working hard all day.
09:13You haven't been working.
09:14You've been doing your stupid memes and just fucking around.
09:17Come here again.
09:18Aw, come on, Satan.
09:19You know you can't resist this.
09:21I can't even see anything.
09:24It's so small.
09:25Hey!
09:26I'll fucking sue you!
09:27God!
09:28Fuck you!
09:29Aw, come on, Satan.
09:30Don't be like that.
09:31Come on.
09:32Come on.
09:51You can do this again.
09:59Come on.
10:08Ah...
10:18Jim Collins, boss, or both go for fun.
10:19Eric?
10:22Come on, Eric. You can't keep doing this to yourself.
10:26I used to laugh, Butters.
10:29I used to have fun.
10:31But now they've taken that away.
10:35I'm not special anymore.
10:38So what's the point in me even existing?
10:41Eric, what are you saying?
10:42I'm saying that it's the end, Butters.
10:46I'm gonna kill myself.
10:48And you.
10:49Wait, me?
10:51It's a suicide pack, Butters. It's just best we end it now.
10:54No, Eric, listen to me. Woke isn't dead.
10:57It's still out there, somewhere. Just waiting to come back.
10:59It's not coming back.
11:00It's waiting to come back!
11:02It's like a little tiny light that's gonna shine again.
11:04You just gotta give it some time.
11:07I hope you're right, Butters.
11:08But if it doesn't come back by, like, Tuesday,
11:11I'm killing us both.
11:13Mr. Marsh, I've called you into my office because I understand that you have a problem with Jesus in our schools.
11:24I don't have a problem with it.
11:29I mean, I think it's kind of weird.
11:31Well, Mr. Mackey says you were bullying Jesus and wouldn't let him sit at your table in the cafeteria.
11:36Wait, I didn't bully him.
11:38Craig told him our table was full, which it was.
11:40Mr. Marsh, Christ died for your sins and he loves us all.
11:42There's only one truth, one cross, and one savior.
11:45And you will find him in your heart.
11:48PC principle?
11:50Power Christian principle, yes.
11:52What happened?
11:54What happened with what?
11:56Well, you used to be, like, super woke, and then, starting last November, you started acting weird, and now you're super Christian.
12:04I just realized that the side I was on was hopeless.
12:09And in times of hopelessness, one finds Christ.
12:13Come to him, all who are heavy laden, and he shall give you rest.
12:17Dude, what's going on?
12:18Like, none of this seems normal.
12:20That's the kind of attitude we are not going to tolerate at this school.
12:23And, Mr. Marsh, if you don't accept Christ, then I'm going to have to expel you.
12:27Okay, I'm pretty sure you can't do that.
12:29Like, I think that's illegal.
12:31No, Mr. Marsh, it's not illegal anymore.
12:33This is 2025, okay?
12:35And not much is illegal.
12:39I accept Christ into my heart.
12:41And into your school.
12:42And in my school.
12:44And at your table in the cafeteria.
12:45There wasn't any room at my table.
12:46And at my table in the cafeteria.
12:50Yeah.
12:54Faith in Christ
12:55We're bringing back Christ
12:59There's money in Christ
13:02Bringing back Christ
13:06Christ make the money
13:11Christ make the money
13:12Christ make the money
13:14Christ make the money
13:16Mr. President, a lot of your supporters are starting to turn against you.
13:21Hey, tell them to take a rest.
13:22Sir, can you please talk to them?
13:24They're really riled up.
13:26All right, give me that.
13:28Hey, relax, Scott.
13:29Yeah, hi.
13:30What do you think you're doing?
13:32Our children are being told that they have to sit with Jesus at lunchtime?
13:35Listen, buddy, you just need to relax.
13:38All this protesting makes me look bad.
13:39Just take a rest.
13:40Well, no, we're not going to give it a rest.
13:42All the people here in South Park want some goddamn answers.
13:46All right, then I'm going to sue your whole town.
13:48You got that?
13:49Five billion dollars.
13:51Ha ha ha ha ha.
13:53What'd he say?
13:55He said he's suing us for five billion dollars.
14:00Fucking stupid idiots.
14:02Think they can mess with me, huh?
14:03I'm not in the mood right now.
14:10Another random bitch commented on my Instagram that you're on the Epstein list.
14:14The Epstein list?
14:15Are we still talking about that?
14:17Well, are you on the list or not?
14:19It's weird that whenever it comes up, you just tell everyone to relax.
14:22I'm not telling everyone to relax.
14:24Relax, Scott.
14:25No, I need counseling.
14:28You remind me more and more of this other guy I used to date.
14:31Like, a lot.
14:32Like, you guys are exactly alike.
14:38I love you.
14:40Oh, honey.
14:41Butters, honey, your little friend Cartman is here.
14:52He said it's Tuesday and you guys have plans.
14:56Eric?
14:57Oh, no.
14:58Well, can you tell him I'm not home?
15:01Butters, don't be antisocial.
15:04Go play with your friend.
15:05He's out in the garage playing in our car with a hose.
15:09Oh, no!
15:15Oh, God!
15:16Eric!
15:18Hey, Butters, come on in.
15:20Eric, no!
15:21Get out of there!
15:22That side's locked, Butters.
15:23You gotta get on the other side.
15:27Eric, you don't have to do this!
15:28Close the door, Butters!
15:29You can't get up, Butters!
15:30You're letting all the fumes out!
15:31Shut the fucking door!
15:32Okay, fine!
15:33You can't just give up like everyone else has!
15:35Butters, it's over.
15:36You really want to sit around for weeks waiting for a slow demise?
15:39Well, no.
15:40Well, neither do I!
15:41It's taking too long.
15:43Here you go, Butters.
15:45Buckle up, we're in for the last ride.
15:48All right, fine.
15:51Suck it in, Butters.
15:53We're heading for that big woke kingdom in the sky.
15:55Okay, then.
16:02This is 60 minutes.
16:05Oh, boy.
16:06Oh, shit.
16:09Oh, God.
16:11The small town of South Park, Colorado is protesting against the president.
16:16The townspeople claim that the president, who is a great man.
16:19A great man.
16:20Great guy.
16:21We know he's probably watching.
16:22And we are just reporting on this town in Colorado that's being sued by the president,
16:28and they are fighting back.
16:29And just to be clear, we don't agree with them.
16:32No, no, no, no.
16:32We think these protesters are total retards.
16:35But our own Jim Connor has more.
16:37Ah.
16:38Oh, God.
16:39Ah.
16:40Ah, Tom, I'm here with the townspeople speaking out against the president.
16:43It all started when a father got upset that Jesus was being forced on his son at school.
16:48Young Stan Marsh is questioning the president's policies.
16:51I don't know.
16:51You know, I don't know why he's questioning the president.
16:53He's probably a faggot or something.
16:55But the townspeople say they owe the president nothing.
16:59We aren't going to be told what to do by anyone.
17:02We all know the woke stuff went too far, but the answer isn't going too far the other way.
17:07It's not a bad thing to have a little compassion for people.
17:10It's not a bad thing to care a little for the environment.
17:12The Stotch family is proud to say that we own an electric car.
17:16Boy, this sure is taking a long time.
17:28Yeah, the human body does everything it can in the final stages to try and cling to life.
17:32Shouldn't be much longer now.
17:33Things are really heating up in the small town of South Park.
17:37More and more citizens are uniting in solidarity against what they call the president's oppression.
17:43The townspeople are saying things are never hopeless.
17:46That they must all stand strong for what they believe in.
17:49We're in this for the long haul, guys.
17:51This is about what's right.
17:53And we will fight even if we have to do it alone.
17:56Wait! We don't have to do it alone!
18:02Look!
18:06It's Jesus!
18:13Let us break bread!
18:15Break bread with me!
18:17This is my body, given for you.
18:21Do this in remembrance of me.
18:26Now, just eat the bread and listen.
18:31I didn't want to come back and be in the school, but I had to, because it was part of a lawsuit and the agreement with Paramount.
18:40The president's suing you?
18:42The car can do whatever he wants, now that someone's back down, okay?
18:46Eat the bread, eat the bread.
18:48You guys saw what happened to CBS?
18:51Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS?
18:53Paramount!
18:54You really want to end up the cult, girl?
18:57You guys gotta stop being stupid!
19:00We can't understand you!
19:02Just shut up!
19:03We're going to get canceled, you idiots!
19:06What the hell is this?
19:07Tom, they're calling it the Sermon on the Mount.
19:10Hundreds of South Park faithful are flocking to the area where Jesus Christ continues to speak his words of wisdom.
19:16If someone has the power of the presidency, and also has the power to sue and take bribes, then he can do anything to anyone!
19:25It's the fucking president, dude!
19:27All of you, shut the fuck up for South Park!
19:29It's over!
19:30It's fucking over!
19:31Just stop and shut the fuck up!
19:33Yes, sir.
19:37Oh, okay.
19:39Absolutely.
19:40Yes, thank you, Mr. President.
19:42We'll be happy to pay that, sir.
19:44Yes, sir, I will relax, and I'll take a rest.
19:48Yes, thank you.
19:49Thank you very much.
19:52Okay, we settled.
19:53Oh, we settled!
19:55Thank God!
19:55I got the president down to three and a half million dollars.
19:59Three and a half million?
20:00That's not so bad.
20:01That's really fair.
20:02I think that's fair.
20:03We'll just have to cut some funding for our schools and hospitals and roads, and that should be that.
20:09Yeah, well, that's not quite all.
20:13As part of the settlement, we also had to agree to doing pro-Trump messaging.
20:18How are we supposed to do pro-Trump messaging?
20:21Oh, come on, guys!
20:22We're South Park!
20:23We can do it!
20:24Yeah, that's right.
20:25We just gotta work together!
20:27Yeah!
20:27Yeah!
20:28Yeah!
20:28Yeah!
20:29Who walked through the desert for you?
20:39Who survived the wilderness and gave the ultimate sacrifice?
20:44When things heat up, who will deliver us from temptation?
20:50Donald J. Jeff.
20:52No matter how hot it gets, he's not afraid to fight for America.
21:03With conviction, discipline, and trust in God, he survived the desert.
21:08I'm Donald J. Trump, I'm Donald J. Trump, and I endorse this message.
21:23Trump.
21:25His penis is teeny tiny, but his love for us is large.
21:30Oh, I think I might be going.
21:48Yep, sweet death is about to come.
21:50I love you, man.
21:51I love you, man.
21:52I love you, man.
21:53I love you, man.
21:53I love you, man.
21:54I love you, man.
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22:00I love you, man.
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22:09I love you, man.
22:10I love you, man.
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