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Match Game Season 1 Episode 2
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00:00Get ready to match the stars, Caroline Ray, Jay Barrow, Anna Gasteyer, Phoebe Robinson, Randall Barr, and Constance Zimmer, as we play the star-studded match game.
00:22And here's the host of Match Game, Martin Shaw.
00:30I'm Martin Short, and this is a career highlight for me, assuming my career just started today.
00:51And please say hello to my emotional support celebrities.
01:00If there was a Mount Rushmore of stars, these six people would help carve it.
01:05Now listen, Caroline, you're not only a great comedian, you're also a keynote speaker for motivational audiences.
01:13I did not know this.
01:14Martin, you are a national treasure, and like most treasures, I'm sure you will be buried too.
01:19Well, isn't she a sweetheart?
01:25All right, enough of you.
01:26Jay Barrow, this is a true genius, you know.
01:31And Jay, as you know, I am an absolute sucker for impersonations.
01:35I've done many through them in my life.
01:36But how would Barack Obama be if he was hosting Match Game?
01:43Well, I mean, the thing to remember is not take yourself so seriously, and if you get it wrong, it doesn't freaking matter.
01:52So, you know.
01:56And Ana Gosteyer, the genius of geniuses.
02:00Not a genius.
02:01Not a bright woman.
02:02Not a bright woman.
02:04Hello, Phoebe.
02:05Hi, Marty.
02:06Can I call you Marty?
02:07Yes, you can.
02:07Okay, great.
02:08Or Mr. Short.
02:09Whatever you feel.
02:10Now, you're a prestigious New York Times best-selling writer, but you also starred in a TV show called I Love Dick.
02:20So you have quite the range.
02:23I do have quite the range.
02:24I should have been more specific because I've ended up with financially broke dick, so that's on it.
02:30And Randall, did anyone see him as Kim Jong-un in the fabulous movie The Interview?
02:41And is it me, or does Kim Jong-un look like a bouncer in a lesbian bar?
02:46I mean, okay.
02:47These are my own thoughts.
02:50Constance Zimmer.
02:52Can I say to any burglar who's planning to rob her home, don't look for jewelry because she's wearing it.
02:59This is just called distraction.
03:01It's called, like, don't look up here, but look down here, okay?
03:06Well, we're looking everywhere.
03:07Enough of this banter that will be edited down.
03:12Let's meet tonight's players, shall we?
03:15Hello!
03:16How are you?
03:17So thrilled you're here.
03:32Michelle, what do you do for a living?
03:34I do a lot of things, Martin.
03:36Please, it's Mr. Short, but go ahead.
03:37Right, Mr. Short.
03:38Yes, of course.
03:39I'm a professional development coach.
03:42What does that mean?
03:43I work one-on-one with high-achieving clients to kind of move them forward in their lives.
03:48So it's really meaningful work.
03:50I love that.
03:51And, Vijay, I'm told that you do background checks for a living.
03:56What does that mean?
03:56Yes, Mr. Short.
03:58I, um, basically, I just look for criminals.
04:00If you're hiring someone that's shady, I'll find them.
04:03Has anyone looked into your background?
04:05Hey, apparently you guys did, and I'm clean.
04:07Okay, let's play match game, shall we?
04:15All righty.
04:16Each of you will get two questions to try the match with as many of our six stars as possible.
04:22And whoever matches more goes on to play super match for a chance to win $25,000.
04:29Okay, let's go.
04:31So this is my favorite thing when I press this button.
04:35Look at that.
04:36Vijay, that's cool.
04:37You must admit.
04:38I admit.
04:39Now, do you want to question A or B?
04:41I'll take A.
04:42A.
04:43Oh, that's a good choice.
04:44I don't know why, but it is.
04:47All right.
04:48If you love the hospital drama The Pit, then you'll have no interest in a new reality show
04:55called The Knit.
04:57It's where seniors in a sewing circle talk about making blanks.
05:03If you love the hospital drama The Pit,
05:06then you'll have no interest in a new reality show called The Knit.
05:11It's where seniors in a sewing circle talk about making blanks.
05:15We have two lock-ins.
05:20We're waiting on Caroline, Phoebe, Randall.
05:24Constance is locked in.
05:26Ooh.
05:27That doesn't mean it's good.
05:28I just...
05:28No, it's locked in.
05:30Locked up.
05:30Caroline!
05:31I'm having a moment.
05:32Oh, boy.
05:33Well, it's called a senior moment, Phoebe.
05:34It's a senior moment.
05:36She's reflecting.
05:38Okay.
05:39Time is...
05:40Oh, she's locked in.
05:41This is exciting.
05:44All right.
05:44DJ, are you ready?
05:47Yes.
05:48If you love the hospital drama The Pit, then you'll have no interest in a new reality show
05:55called The Knit.
05:57It's where seniors in a sewing circle talk about making blanks.
06:03Babies.
06:04Babies.
06:05Oh, wow.
06:06It's where seniors in a sewing circle talk about making babies.
06:11What do you think a sewing circle is?
06:16I just wanted an answer with the hospital.
06:18All right.
06:19Well, someone's getting a lot of points.
06:22I just feel it.
06:23Okay.
06:26Poor VJ.
06:28Should we just say goodbye to VJ now or do it again?
06:31What do you think?
06:32We're looking for the word babies.
06:34I don't know why, but we are.
06:38What do you think?
06:39I felt really bad about my answer until I heard you.
06:45Yeah.
06:46I said quilts.
06:49Quilts.
06:50All right.
06:51That isn't a match with babies.
06:54I have a feeling we're going to have one soon.
06:58Yes.
06:59Yeah.
06:59Yeah, we are.
07:00We're going to have a match soon.
07:01Well, what the hell she just said.
07:03Quilts.
07:04That's what I'll put.
07:05We met.
07:06Okay.
07:07Marty.
07:08Yeah, Anna.
07:08VJ can't make any babies because the seniors had to tuck all the gear under their crotch cozies.
07:17It's a sewing circle.
07:18I think it's very clever.
07:20Not as clever as babies, VJ.
07:22I'm on your side.
07:22If you love the hospital drama, The Pit, then you'll have no interest in a new reality
07:27show called The Knit.
07:29It's where seniors in a sewing circle talk about making blanks.
07:34Phoebe.
07:34I got to see you do The Knit again.
07:36Mm.
07:37Mm.
07:37Ooh.
07:37Yeah.
07:42Phoebe.
07:43I can't control this, by the way.
07:46I said scarves.
07:48Scarves.
07:50We do not have a match so far, but I have a feeling babies is going to be your answer.
07:54Randall?
07:55Well, the word for babies in Korean is mittens.
08:00So you got it right.
08:02Yeah.
08:03Constance.
08:04I mean, all I want to do is match and please people, but that answer is not going to please
08:10me, but I did mittens.
08:12Mittens.
08:13Okay.
08:14Okay, VJ, you scored zero points.
08:17Michelle, let's see how you do on your question.
08:20There's no way you can do as well as VJ, but let's try.
08:25Geeky Greg is getting married, so his friends threw him a bachelor party.
08:32They hired a stripper, but only so they had another person to play blank with.
08:39Geeky Greg is getting married, so his friends threw him a bachelor party.
08:45They hired a stripper, but only so they had another person to play blank with.
08:55Aha, Anna is locked in because she is a comedic genius.
09:01No, this time I'm shooting straight.
09:02It's true.
09:04No one funny.
09:05Oh, Jane's locked in.
09:06Caroline is locked in.
09:08Randall's locked in.
09:10Phoebe's writing a play or something.
09:13I'm trying to get another bestseller, Marty.
09:14Come on.
09:15You have a few bestsellers.
09:17Constance, we are all locked in.
09:20I'm pretty sure I spelled it wrong.
09:23I think that's right.
09:24Iggy Greg is getting married, so his friends threw him a bachelor party.
09:28They hired a stripper, but only so they had another person to play blank with.
09:34Dungeons and Dragons?
09:35Oh, no.
09:36Dungeons and Dragons.
09:38Okay, his friends threw him a bachelor party, and so they hired a stripper, but only so they
09:44had another person to play blank with.
09:47I did think about your answer.
09:50I thought about it, and I didn't write it.
09:52I wrote hide and seek.
09:53Hide and seek.
09:55I was very geeky.
09:57A geeky.
09:58Well, I know, but that's a good answer.
09:59Jay, do you have an answer?
10:01I do.
10:01I do.
10:02Yeah.
10:02Uh, yeah, so I put pin the tail on the hoe.
10:06That's what I put.
10:08Yeah.
10:09Yeah.
10:10Oh, you know what?
10:11So rarely do you have this kind of elegance in a game show.
10:15Anna.
10:16Geeky Greg doesn't need a crotch cozy.
10:18He just needs to hang out with his friends and play Dungeons and Dragons.
10:21Oh, my God.
10:23Michelle, that's fabulous.
10:25One point.
10:25Okay, you got it.
10:26Phoebe, they hired a stripper, but only so they had another person to play blank with.
10:32I'm sorry, Michelle.
10:34Michelle, I really messed up.
10:37Dungeons and Dragons, we got two.
10:39No, I did it!
10:42Randall.
10:44All right, well, my first thought was pin the tail on the hoe.
10:47Yeah.
10:47But I went with my second one, which was Minecraft.
10:53Minecraft.
10:54Okay.
10:54That's good.
10:55Constance.
10:56I went with Scrabble.
10:58Scrabble.
11:00At the end of round one, the score is Michelle 2 and DJ Nuttin.
11:06And when we come back, we'll find out which one of these celebrities is the murderer.
11:11Why does it look so weird?
11:13The 1B, no.
11:14That's it.
11:15That's how you spell Scrabble, right?
11:17It is, yeah, it's to me.
11:19My brain.
11:38Welcome back to Match Game.
11:39Come on, BJ.
11:41Let's do another round, shall we?
11:43Look at this.
11:44Let go.
11:47Okay, Michelle, you're ahead, pipe two, to goose egg.
11:51So, you get to go first.
11:53What would you like, A or B?
11:55I'll go with B, please.
11:56B, all right.
11:57Look what's going to happen now.
11:58You know, you know, you know, the Kool-Aid man, he crashes through walls and yells, oh, yeah.
12:07Meet his less refreshing cousin, the stool-aid man.
12:12He crashes through bathroom stalls and yells, oh, blank.
12:17You know, the Kool-Aid man, he crashes through walls and yells, oh, yeah.
12:23Meet his less refreshing cousin, the stool-aid man.
12:27He crashes through bathroom stalls and yells, oh, blank.
12:31Um, I think.
12:34Now, this is exciting, Michelle, because you cannot get an answer from two of these people
12:40that you got points from.
12:41You can't get an answer from Phoebe and Anna.
12:44We can't answer.
12:45But we can be supportive.
12:47Well, you can be supportive.
12:48We can be.
12:49We're not going to.
12:50And you know what?
12:50In all fairness, we need a break.
12:52We need a break.
12:52We need a break.
12:53I'm sick of it.
12:53And I've had it with Michelle.
12:55And Constance, and we have Constance locked in.
12:59There we go.
13:00Look at this.
13:01You know the Kool-Aid man.
13:03Oh, yeah.
13:04He crashes through walls and yells, oh, yeah.
13:07Meet his less refreshing cousin, the stool-aid man.
13:10He crashes through bathroom stalls and yells, oh, blank.
13:16Crap.
13:17Oh, language, girl.
13:19Language.
13:21Yeah.
13:21But see.
13:23Crap.
13:24We're looking for crap.
13:27Speaking of which, Caroline, you know the Kool-Aid man will meet his less refreshing cousin,
13:37the stool-aid man.
13:39He crashes through bathroom stalls and yells, oh, blank.
13:43Well, there was a word that came to mind, but I thought, I don't think we can say that.
13:47And I am a lady like Michelle, so I said crap.
13:50Wow.
13:53All right.
13:55Crap, crap, crap.
13:56Hey, first of all, I want you to grow up.
13:58I'm being supportive.
13:59Oh, I see.
13:59Yeah, but there's supportive and there's, we need to phone a hospital and have them bring
14:04a tongue compressor for our gal.
14:07Oh, no.
14:07Jay.
14:10Jay.
14:10Listen.
14:11Uh-huh.
14:12Okay.
14:13I'm hardcore, baby.
14:15Straight to the core.
14:16So, I don't know how you're going to take this answer, but it means the same.
14:20I said, oh, uh, there it is.
14:23Oh, yeah, there it is.
14:24The same thing.
14:26All right.
14:27We now move down to the bottom row.
14:29The stool-aid man, he crashes through bathroom stalls and yells, oh.
14:33Oh, I didn't want to say that.
14:38So, uh, and I didn't say that, but I did say this, which is the same as that.
14:45Yeah.
14:46Did you draw it?
14:48Did you draw it?
14:50What?
14:51What?
14:51You know, it's very revealing about Randall.
14:57I guess when he makes a stinky, it has an odor to it.
15:01Not everyone.
15:03Okay, Constance.
15:05Listen.
15:06I, I, I always go the crass route, but then I tried to do a classy crass route, and then it
15:14just kind of turned out like this.
15:17That's okay.
15:21That's okay.
15:22We, okay, the score is six to zero.
15:27Is that the Eiffel Tower as an eye?
15:29Now, Vijay, no pressure.
15:31None at all.
15:32But you need all six.
15:34It's going to happen.
15:34To force a tiebreaker.
15:36So in round one, you matched with no one, as you recall.
15:41And everyone's still laughing about it.
15:43But for this question, you can match with everyone.
15:47And I mean everyone in the audience, everyone at home.
15:49And there's not enough people in the world that you can't match with.
15:54So let's try this.
15:56There's no one more Gen Z than Gen Z Zara.
16:01She even takes a wellness day to recharge her blank.
16:07There's no one more Gen Z than Gen Z Zara.
16:12She even takes a wellness day to recharge her blank.
16:17J's already locked in.
16:21Oh yeah, I know.
16:21Yeah, you Gen Z's.
16:23Yeah, I got it.
16:24Caroline.
16:25We Gen Z's stay together.
16:28Yeah.
16:32Miranda's locked in.
16:34Phoebe, we're locked in.
16:36All right.
16:37Vijay.
16:38No pressure.
16:39You need six out of six.
16:42There's no one more Gen Z than Gen Z Zara.
16:45She even takes a wellness day to recharge her blank.
16:48I'm going to go for it.
16:50Vibrator.
16:52Her vibrator.
16:53They don't call him VJJ for nothing.
16:57Okay.
16:57You need six to tie.
16:59So Caroline.
17:00You know what?
17:01Maybe I really am Gen Z.
17:07Phone.
17:08It was phone.
17:09Okay.
17:10Congratulations.
17:11Michelle, you are our champion.
17:15You have to say goodbye to VJ.
17:19Although you lost, the good news is you don't owe any taxes on your winnings.
17:23Supermatch is next.
17:25Congratulations.
17:26I had it!
17:27I had it!
17:29Vibrator!
17:29She said it!
17:30I got one!
17:32I had it!
17:33Vibrator!
17:34Oh, he said four.
17:36Oh, fuck.
17:38Oh, fuck!
17:39Welcome back!
17:55It's time for Supermatch, where the celebrities are even more unhelpful.
18:01You could win $25,000.
18:04Yeah.
18:07What are you going to do with this money?
18:09The irresponsible thing would say to get a little cherry red Vespa to just boop and bop
18:13all over the city.
18:14Yeah.
18:15Yeah.
18:15Yeah.
18:15Zoom, you know, all over.
18:17The more responsible thing would be to take myself on a very needed holiday, one of those
18:22places that has no phones, no Wi-Fi, no nothing.
18:26You just walk in, you turn yourself into a zombie, and then you exit massaged, rubbed.
18:32Wow.
18:32Get a vibrator.
18:34Get a vibrator, too.
18:35Yeah.
18:35That's...
18:36They're cheaper.
18:38I mean, not that I know, but where it gets back to those dudes.
18:43All right.
18:44We're going to start with an audience match.
18:47So we recently pulled the Match Game Home audience and got their most popular responses
18:51to this.
18:56Tiger blank.
18:57So if you can guess the third most popular answer, you win $2,000.
19:02The second most popular answer, you win $3,000.
19:05And the most popular answer, you win $5,000.
19:10Now, the help of these suggestions, you can elicit the aid of three of our celebrities.
19:15Who do you want to pick first?
19:17I am going to go with Anna.
19:21Anna.
19:21Yeah.
19:21Okay, let's hear your answer first.
19:23Two, Tiger blank.
19:25King.
19:26Okay.
19:26Second choice.
19:28Phoebe.
19:29Phoebe.
19:30Beet.
19:31Tiger beet.
19:32Okay.
19:33And your third choice.
19:35I'm going to go with Jay.
19:36Tiger prawns.
19:38Yeah.
19:39Prawns.
19:40Tiger prawns.
19:41Yeah.
19:42You know the big...
19:43Wow.
19:44You're in sync with no one.
19:47Okay, we've got king, beet, and prawns.
19:53You can choose one of the three answers.
19:55Don't choose prawns.
19:57But which one are you going to choose?
20:00You can also give one of your own.
20:02I'm going to go with king.
20:03You're going to go with king.
20:05Okay.
20:07Let's see how you've done.
20:09We're looking for tiger king.
20:12For $2,000, third most popular answer is...
20:17Tiger lily.
20:17Lily.
20:18Oh, Peter Pan.
20:19Yeah.
20:20A $3,000 answer is...
20:23Tiger...
20:24King.
20:25And the $5,000 answer is...
20:30Tiger...
20:31Woods.
20:33Okay.
20:34I would have made some money.
20:36That's what I had.
20:37What happened to prawns?
20:38Yeah, where are the prawns?
20:39I had it.
20:40I had woods.
20:42Oh, sorry.
20:43You keep that between you and the mister, okay?
20:49All right.
20:50You won $3,000.
20:52So now...
20:53You have a chance to multiply that by five.
20:57Quickly, Phoebe, what does that make it?
20:58$25,000.
21:00It's $15,000.
21:02Oh, f***.
21:033 times 5 is 25.
21:08Wow.
21:08Is this a bad, embarrassing moment for you?
21:11I'm a writer, not a mathematician.
21:14No kidding.
21:16Okay.
21:16$15,000.
21:18I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
21:19I am smart.
21:20I swear.
21:21I thought when you were in I Love Dick, that was tough.
21:23But this is something else.
21:26All right.
21:26So if you match with one of our celebrities exactly, you can win $15,000.
21:31Who are you going to pick?
21:33We're going with it, Anna.
21:34All right.
21:35I'm here for you.
21:36Let's do it.
21:37Do I have to go somewhere?
21:38No.
21:38Oh, stay here.
21:39So to win $15,000, you must exactly match with Anna.
21:44If you're ready, turn and face me.
21:46Anna, write down your answer to this.
21:49Okay.
21:53Blank toss.
21:55Blank toss.
21:59Now they're helping her.
22:00$15,000.
22:05That's a lot of vacation time.
22:08Or, according to them, it's a lot of vibrators.
22:12Yeah.
22:13Yeah.
22:13Which, yeah.
22:21Never been prouder.
22:22I think it's this.
22:24All right.
22:25You're zeroing in.
22:27I have a good feeling.
22:29Yeah.
22:30We're locked in.
22:31Okay, okay.
22:31Lock it in, Anna.
22:32For $75,000.
22:34This is a lot.
22:34No, no, no.
22:36Again, your math is horrible.
22:37Lock it in.
22:39There you go.
22:40Okay.
22:40Okay, Anna is ready.
22:42Michelle.
22:42Yes.
22:43What's your answer?
22:44My answer is light.
22:47Light toss.
22:49Okay.
22:50Now turn and face Anna.
22:52For $15,000, Anna, what's your answer?
22:55I said coin.
22:57Coin toss.
22:59Oh, I'm sorry.
23:00You didn't make a match, but you still won $3,000.
23:06$3,000.
23:07Let's hear it for Michelle.
23:09What's the light toss?
23:10I didn't know, like, lightning tossing.
23:12Oh, I don't think.
23:14Oh, I don't think.
23:15What?
23:16What the hell is it?
23:17I'm just like, go, go, go.
23:25Thanks for remembering.
23:31Hey, welcome back to Match Game.
23:34And just like I tell my guests after Thanksgiving dinner, why are you still here?
23:38I don't understand.
23:40Anna, you know, it's interesting.
23:42People always ask me, do you still do your SNL characters from the 80s?
23:47And I always answer, sadly, yes.
23:49Yes.
23:50You did every character I adored, but which was your favorite?
23:53All the old ladies that I play, and the good news is I've finally aged into them.
24:03And Jay, what would Chris Rock say about me at this point in the show?
24:08Wow, man.
24:09That's crazy, man.
24:12Wow.
24:14Wow.
24:15You know what?
24:16I can't believe you still haven't smacked me, you know?
24:19All right.
24:20Hey, let's meet tonight's players, shall we?
24:27I'm going to risk my life and jump up while it's moving.
24:31Look at this.
24:33Oh, my God.
24:34You did it.
24:36Oh, I'm Carson.
24:39Hi, guys.
24:41Look at you.
24:42Caden.
24:44Yes.
24:45Hi, Monique.
24:46Hi.
24:46How are you?
24:46I'm good.
24:47Monique, you have five children.
24:49How is that possible?
24:51Not anymore, because they're all grown up.
24:53You look like a damn kid.
24:54How could you have grown up children?
24:56How old are your children?
24:58My youngest is 17.
24:59The next one is 23.
25:01And then 29.
25:02It keeps going.
25:0330 and 33.
25:05Wow.
25:05Wait.
25:06It's unbelievable.
25:06It's unbelievable.
25:08Bravo!
25:09Bravo!
25:09Wow, look at this cool look, dude.
25:12How's it going, man?
25:12Caden, what do you do for a living?
25:14Well, I work as a garbage man.
25:16Uh-huh.
25:16I pick up furniture, appliances, a lot of sex toys downtown as well.
25:22So there's plenty of interesting things that I see.
25:25And when you pick up these sex toys, what do you do with them then?
25:30I don't take them home.
25:32You don't take them?
25:32They go in the garbage.
25:34Okay, let's play match game, shall we?
25:36Match game.
25:40Okay, Caden, you want A or B?
25:43I will take question A, Merton.
25:45Question A.
25:46Interesting, but true.
25:49Ray Charles used to feel a woman's wrist to determine if she was attractive.
25:54But for a short king like myself, I can tell by feeling her blank.
26:02Interesting, but true.
26:03Ray Charles used to feel a woman's wrist to determine if she was attractive.
26:07But for a short king like myself, I can tell by feeling her blank.
26:14Anna and Jay are already locked in.
26:16It wasn't a long walk.
26:18It wasn't.
26:19Caroline is locked in.
26:20Randall.
26:21Yes.
26:21Constance is still thinking, and Phoebe's still trying to multiply.
26:26Three times eight is 820.
26:32Okay.
26:33Phoebe is locked in.
26:35All right.
26:36Caden, Ray Charles used to feel a woman's wrist to determine if she was attractive.
26:42But for a short king like myself, I can tell by feeling her blank.
26:47Ankle.
26:47Her ankle.
26:48You're so polite.
26:52Pretty good.
26:52Ray Charles used to feel a woman's wrist to determine if she was attractive.
26:56But for a short king like myself, oh, sorry.
27:02As Carner, I examine her, and she's really weird.
27:09Okay.
27:10Okay.
27:11Her boobs.
27:12Her boobs.
27:13All right.
27:14Is that Martin rich?
27:15Jane.
27:15Well, you know, Martin, you know, the funny thing is, you know, I'm going to do this answer
27:20Ray Charles, but now if we're talking about short kings, man, you know, I don't know about
27:26the man was talking about the ankles, but I'm telling you what, I would feel the booty.
27:29That's what I would feel.
27:30The booty.
27:32Anna.
27:33Kayden did a real red herring with the whole sex toy opener.
27:38Most of us thought where you would plant your face on most ladies, and that would be her
27:43ding-dongs.
27:45Her knackers.
27:46Her knackers.
27:46All right.
27:47Well, that's boobs in my world.
27:49Yeah, knackers.
27:49All right.
27:50Phoebe, we're looking for ankle.
27:53Thick thighs.
27:54Thick.
27:55Her thick thighs.
27:56Yeah.
27:57T-H-I-C-C.
27:58That's a compliment.
27:58Randall.
27:59Oh, wait.
27:59So you said...
28:00We're looking for ankle, is what we are looking for.
28:03I was going to say ankle, but I decided to say ankle.
28:08Ah!
28:09Very good.
28:12Very nice.
28:14Constance, we're looking for ankle.
28:15I don't know.
28:16I feel like these two are very well connected, and it should be the same thing.
28:21I said feet.
28:24Seriously?
28:25The foot bones connected to the ankle bones?
28:26These are the meanest judges in the world.
28:28The ankle bones connected to the foot bones.
28:32Okay.
28:33Caden, you scored one point.
28:36Monique, let's see how you do with your question.
28:39Okay.
28:39And I think we should go with B.
28:41I think so.
28:42Pennywise, the killer clown, has a brother named Half Dollar Dumbass.
28:49He sucks at luring children into the sewer.
28:52Instead of balloons, he offers kids blank.
28:56Old Half Dollar Dumbass.
29:10He sucks at luring children into the sewer.
29:13Instead of balloons, he offers kids blank.
29:15That's inappropriate, right?
29:16I think so.
29:17Okay.
29:18You guys, I'm inappropriate.
29:19It's great.
29:20Just wanted to get a group think on it.
29:23Randall looks so familiar to everyone.
29:25I know you're thinking, has he done pornography?
29:27But you haven't, right?
29:30All right.
29:31I'm in.
29:32We're waiting on Phoebe Randall.
29:35Phoebe, oh, they're locked in.
29:36Okay.
29:37Monique, Pennywise, the killer clown, has a brother named Half Dollar Dumbass.
29:44He sucks at luring children into the sewer.
29:47Instead of balloons, he offers kids blank.
29:49Vegetables.
29:50Oh.
29:51Vegetables.
29:53Pennywise, the killer clown, has a brother named Half Dollar Dumbass.
29:56He sucks at luring children into the sewer.
29:58Instead of balloons, he offers kids blank.
30:00God, I'd like to French kiss you right now.
30:08All right.
30:10Apparently, neither of us know how to do that.
30:12No.
30:13Oh.
30:13Oh.
30:15That was so hot.
30:17That was so good.
30:18Yeah.
30:18All right.
30:19Pennywise, the killer clown, has a brother.
30:21Oh, I'm falling.
30:22No.
30:22God.
30:25I'm a, you know, physical comedian.
30:29Oh.
30:29I fell for it.
30:30Uh-huh.
30:31How about an answer?
30:32Okay.
30:33I know.
30:33That was such a good answer.
30:34Mine is a terrible answer.
30:35Homework.
30:36Okay.
30:37Homework.
30:38Jane.
30:39Yo, I know I'm not going to match with me.
30:41I put, you know, he was giving them money because he a freak.
30:45You know, he's trying to, you know, he's trying to give them some money.
30:47Thank you for helping no one.
30:49Anna.
30:50And I also will help no one except for my good friend, Half Dollar Dumbass.
30:55And by that, I mean Caroline Ray.
30:57Homework.
30:58All right.
30:59We do not have a match yet.
31:01Hi, Half Dollar.
31:02All right.
31:03We're looking for vegetable.
31:05Phoebe.
31:06It took me a long time.
31:08Mm-hmm.
31:08I was the last person in.
31:10I know.
31:11But isn't that a good thing?
31:13Salad vegetables!
31:15Vegetables!
31:15Yay!
31:17Yay!
31:19Excellent.
31:19I know.
31:21Well.
31:22Randall.
31:23It took me a long time, too.
31:25And I do not know how to play this game because I put a nice compliment.
31:29That is a bad way to lure children in a sewer.
31:35It is, right?
31:36Trust me, from experience, that doesn't work.
31:40Constance.
31:41I mean, he is called a Half Dollar Dumbass, right?
31:45Yes, he is.
31:45So, he's luring kids into the sewer with trash.
31:49Uh-huh.
31:50Thanks for the help.
31:51It was hard.
31:52Well, at the end of round one, Kayden has one, and Monique has one.
31:58Time for a break.
32:00I just need some time to Google my symptoms.
32:04Phoebe, how are you getting the absolutely random answer?
32:09I was like, oh, what didn't I like as a kid?
32:11And I hated vegetables.
32:24Well, back to Match Game.
32:26Things got a little heated during the break, and now Caroline will only talk to me through
32:31a third person.
32:32So, that's fine.
32:33Like, I care.
32:34That's okay.
32:35Why don't we proceed with the game?
32:38Oh, my God.
32:39My anger.
32:40I'm sorry.
32:43Let's go.
32:44There we go.
32:45Now, the score is tied.
32:47So, this time, Monique, you get to go first.
32:50A or B?
32:51B, please.
32:52B. All right.
32:53In round one, you match with Phoebe.
32:56So, for this question, you can match with everyone else.
32:59Yay!
33:00My friend Stacy knows nothing about TV.
33:04She thinks The X-Files was a show about blank.
33:08Uh-oh.
33:09Uh-oh.
33:09Uh-oh.
33:10My friend Stacy knows nothing about TV.
33:14She thinks The X-Files was a show about blank.
33:18Phoebe, you can think of an answer, but we don't really want to hear it.
33:22Caroline is locked in.
33:24Randall is confused.
33:27Constance is locked in.
33:30Okay, Jay?
33:31I'm going to go.
33:32Randall?
33:33Randall's locked in.
33:34Jay is now locked in.
33:37Okay.
33:38Monique, my friend Stacy knows nothing about TV.
33:41She thinks The X-Files was a show about blank.
33:45Sex.
33:46Sex!
33:49Very good answer.
33:50Mother of five, looks like a damn kid.
33:55She thinks The X-Files was a show about blank.
33:59We're looking for sex, and I'm talking about you and me.
34:03Shoot your head again.
34:04Almost there.
34:09Ex-boyfriends.
34:11Ex-boyfriends.
34:12What's happened?
34:13Exes.
34:14Yeah, I wish you'd take your medication every day.
34:17Okay.
34:19Jay.
34:21Well, if I had a show and it was called The X-Files, it would be about breakups.
34:27That's what mine would be.
34:29Oh, yeah.
34:31Anna?
34:31Well, my head's also in the gutter, I say.
34:34Porn.
34:36Okay.
34:38Oh, really?
34:40Yeah, porn and sex.
34:42I don't know.
34:43They seem to go hand in hand.
34:45My friend Stacy knows nothing about TV.
34:47She thinks The X-Files was a show about Randall.
34:51Eh, no.
34:52Yeah, her ex-boyfriend.
34:53Her ex-boyfriend.
34:54Okay.
34:56Yeah.
34:56Constance.
34:57I mean, they get paid to have sex.
35:02Porn stars.
35:03Yeah.
35:04Yeah.
35:05Right?
35:05Judges.
35:06No.
35:07Come on.
35:08What?
35:09Okay.
35:09The score is now two to one.
35:12That's what they do.
35:13Kaden, you need one to tie and two to win for a chance at $25,000.
35:21Are you ready?
35:22This is really a nail buyer.
35:24Now, round one, you match with Randall.
35:28So for this question, you can match with everyone else.
35:31Are you ready?
35:31I'm ready.
35:32Caroline Ray has appeared in almost every season of Match Game this century.
35:38Is it because of her charm or is she blanking the producers?
35:46I mean...
35:47Wow.
35:48Can I answer that?
35:52Caroline Ray has appeared on almost every season of Match Game this century.
35:56Is it because of her charm?
35:57Uh-uh.
35:58Or is she blanking, and when I say blanking, I mean blanking the producers?
36:06Jay is locked in.
36:07Hold on.
36:07I've just got Gloria Steinem on the phone.
36:09Yes.
36:09That is an awful question.
36:11Okay.
36:11Okay, we're just waiting on you, Caroline.
36:14Yeah, I know.
36:15So it's not your charm or speed.
36:17Oh, look.
36:18You're locked in.
36:19All right.
36:21I mean...
36:22Caroline Ray has appeared on almost every season of Match Game this century.
36:25Is it because of her charm, or is she blanking the producers?
36:29Uh, screwing.
36:30Screwing.
36:31Sorry, Caroline.
36:33Screwing.
36:33I...
36:34You...
36:37I got it!
36:38You cheap...
36:40That is such a 70s...
36:42Lovely.
36:42Ah...
36:43Caroline Ray has appeared on almost every season of Match Game this century.
36:51Is it because of her charm, or is she blanking the producers?
36:56Bribing.
36:57Bribing.
36:58Bribing.
36:59Okay.
36:59I have children.
37:00Jay.
37:01Listen, people.
37:02Understand, I am a...
37:03I am a black man, so the word might be a little different,
37:07but the feeling is the same.
37:10I said, smashing, baby.
37:12You know what I'm saying?
37:13Um, come on.
37:14That's what it is.
37:15That's what it is.
37:17You need one to win.
37:19Anna.
37:20I'm a white woman,
37:21and this also means the same thing in a different way.
37:24Bribing.
37:25Yeah, that's true.
37:26We have a winner.
37:28Caden is our winner.
37:30That's it?
37:30That's what I need.
37:31Caden, you're our champion.
37:32We have to say goodbye to the lovely Monique.
37:35Hi, Monique.
37:36Monique, unfortunately,
37:37things didn't work out for you the way you wanted
37:39unless you wanted to fail
37:41in front of millions of people.
37:43In that case, way to go.
37:44Supermatch is next.
37:46Hey, congratulations, man.
37:48Very good.
37:50Oh, we've been dragging.
37:51We've been dragging.
37:52We've been dragging.
37:52We've been dragging.
37:54Welcome back.
38:07It's time for Supermatch,
38:09where the stakes are higher
38:10than Seth Rogen on Willie Nelson's tour bus.
38:15Caden, you have a shot at $25,000.
38:19What would you do with that kind of money?
38:20I would buy a Wolverine costume,
38:22because I'm known as that, around my yard,
38:24and I would hope to wear it
38:26on the back of the garbage truck
38:27while waving to the kids
38:28just to make their day.
38:30Okay, that's $300 of the $25,000.
38:34What would you do with $24,700?
38:37I'd be able to get some more coffees
38:39and food for people downtown as well.
38:41Ah, this is like...
38:43I am rooting for you
38:44more than anything in the world.
38:45Okay, we're going to start
38:46with the audience match.
38:48Now, we recently pulled
38:49the match game home audience
38:50and got their most popular response
38:52to this.
38:57Mini blank.
38:59So if you can guess
39:00the third most popular answer,
39:01you win $2,000.
39:02The second most popular answer is $3,000.
39:05And the most popular answer,
39:06you get $5,000.
39:09And to help you with the suggestion,
39:11you can enlist the aid of three
39:13of our celebrities.
39:14Who do you want?
39:15I will pick Caroline.
39:16Because you offended me so greatly
39:18on our last experience together.
39:21You and your little cute cowboy boots.
39:23Minivan.
39:24Minivan.
39:25Minivan.
39:25Well, that's a good answer.
39:27Who's your second?
39:28I will pick Jay as the second choice.
39:30Jay.
39:31Hey, bro, bro.
39:32I'll pick Mini Coop.
39:34That's what I said.
39:36Okay, and who's your third celebrity?
39:38Randall.
39:39Randall.
39:40Mart.
39:42Mini Mart.
39:42Mini Mart.
39:43Okay, very nice.
39:46So we've got Van, Coop, and Mart.
39:50Now you can choose one of those three,
39:53or you can give us your own answer.
39:56I will go with Van, Martin.
39:58Mini Van.
39:59Okay.
39:59I think Mini.
40:00All right, let's see.
40:01Come on.
40:02For $2,000,
40:03third most popular answer is...
40:05Mini Skirt.
40:07Oh, right.
40:08And the $3,000 answer is...
40:11Van.
40:12$3,000.
40:14The $5,000 answer is...
40:17Cooper.
40:18Mini Cooper.
40:20Okay, Phoebe,
40:21you're going to help me with this, aren't you?
40:23So you've won $3,000,
40:25but you have a chance
40:26to multiply that by five.
40:28And I don't know math,
40:30but I know someone who does.
40:32Phoebe,
40:33what's three times five?
40:35Fifteen.
40:36Fifteen.
40:37I did it!
40:42I did it!
40:43If you can match your celebrity exactly,
40:46you'll win $15,000.
40:49Okay.
40:50Now, which one of our six celebrities
40:51would you like to try to match head-to-head?
40:54I would like to go with Jay, please.
40:56Jay.
40:56Okay, Jay.
40:57Here we go, Jay.
40:59Okay.
40:59All right.
41:00To win $15,000,
41:02you must match Jay exactly.
41:04Jay, write down your answer to this.
41:08Blank fiction.
41:10Blank fiction.
41:13They're all helping him.
41:15Because he needs help.
41:17We all need help,
41:18but Jay really needs help.
41:20That's the most popular.
41:24Might take him time
41:25to get the answer in, eh?
41:26Absolutely.
41:26Well, yeah.
41:27He wants you to get the $15,000.
41:30And the fact that you privately said
41:32you'd give me five of that,
41:34it really means a great deal to me.
41:41All right.
41:43Okay, Jay is ready.
41:45Kayden, what is your answer?
41:47Science.
41:49Science fiction.
41:50Okay, for $15,000,
41:53what's your answer?
41:55Hey, man, you know what?
41:59Science fiction!
42:02Congratulations!
42:04Get over here.
42:05You have won $15,000.
42:08And with that,
42:09thanks for watching.
42:10Good night!
42:10Yeah!
42:13Yeah!
42:13Yeah!
42:14Yeah!
42:15Yeah!
42:16Yeah!
42:16Yeah!
42:17Yeah!
42:17Yeah!
42:18Yeah!
42:18Yeah!
42:19Yeah!
42:19Yeah!
42:20Yeah!
42:21Yeah!
42:21Yeah!
42:22Good boy!
42:23I was thinking punk.
42:25I was excited!
42:26I would have said punk.
42:27Yeah, yeah.
42:28We're moving, buddy.
42:29I was thinking punk.
42:29Yeah!
42:30$15,000, buddy.
42:34Good job, guys!
42:35Good job, guys!
42:38Good job, guys!