- 2 days ago
Family-Guy-Season 4 Ep17-The-Fat-Guy-Strangler.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Peter, don't forget you have a physical today at 1 o'clock.
00:03For the hundredth time, Lois, I won't forget.
00:05Nag, nag, nag.
00:07Sometimes I think I should have married that woman I met the night of my bachelor party.
00:11Peter, I can't believe your friends just left you here.
00:14Let's get you home.
00:15Wow, strange lady, you're so sexy.
00:18I should marry you tomorrow instead of that pain-in-the-ass Lois.
00:22Peter, it's me.
00:23You know what? Screw it.
00:25I am so gonna cheat on Lois right now.
00:27I don't care if she finds out.
00:29Peter...
00:29You got a condom?
00:30Never mind, I got this Milky Way wrapper.
00:36Put this on.
00:37Why?
00:38Because I'm skipping my physical to go have steaks with the guys, and I don't want Lois to know about it.
00:42Um, okay.
00:45Lois, I'm going to my physical now.
00:47Okay, honey, I'll see you later.
00:53Um...
00:53What the hell, I'll just ask it.
00:55Why do we need the horse suit for that?
00:57Ah, okay.
01:04All right, that's at seven sixteen ounce steaks. Oh
01:09Come on Joe. You haven't even finished one. I mean that guy had two. I know I know I'm terrible
01:14Which is why I'm gonna order the cheesecake. Oh, I can't do it. I'm
01:19I'm so full full of what estrogen come on take the skirt off your pansy. Oh
01:24Let's go chow down Mary Jane. I said I can't eat it
01:34Where is it now, huh? Where is it now easy sailor easy put the gun down Joe. Yeah, nobody's judging you, man
01:43It's cool. I'll just put this back in your purse next to your tampons
01:50All right, let's start the bidding Jennifer. How much do you bid on the dinette set? Um
01:55675 Bob 675 Steven 780 780 Tammy. What was the last bid 780 780
02:03780 one
02:05Fuck you
02:07Hi, honey, how was your physical? Good good good. Yeah, yeah, too good matter of fact
02:13You know what the doctor said doctor said I was too healthy, you know in in in too good of shape
02:19Don't even know how too good of shape you didn't go to your physical did you I did not
02:26So doctor is Peter healthy my goodness you'll be dead within a month right oh Hagar the horrible if you keep up
02:33That lifestyle of pillaging and giant turkey legs you'll be dead within a month now on to you so what do you think pretty healthy?
02:40Yeah, well, mr. Griffin. Let's take a look at your physical results
02:44There's a spider in here now. Here we go. Mr. Griffin. You're going to expire in a month
02:49This is your driver's license, isn't it now? Unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die
02:54When you watch these Dean Martin celebrity roasts, well, you just tell us how Peter's health is mr. Griffin
02:59I'm not quite sure how to say this Kim
03:03Basinger bait Basinger bait Basinger
03:07Basinger
03:08But now on to the cancer
03:10You are a cancer right you were born in July now on to these test results
03:14My they're much worse than I thought my son got a D minus on this history test now, mr. Griffin that liver's gotta come out
03:22What it's been in the microwave for three minutes. It'll get dry now, please
03:26Please we can't take any more stick. Please just tell us is Peter healthy. Oh, yeah, he's fine
03:34He's just really fat. Oh, thank God. Wait. Wait. Hey, hang on a second. Did you just say I was fat? Well, uh, yeah
03:41You you are pretty fat
03:43Um
03:44Okay, this is news to me
03:46Uh, boy, this is more awkward than having sex with a rhinoceros who doesn't love you anymore
03:52Why wouldn't you look at me during?
04:01Hey, how was your physical stupid doctor said I was fat can you believe that idiot well Peter you are on the large side?
04:07Oh, please Brian if I was fat could I do this with a hula hoop?
04:10No, no, no, I guess I guess you couldn't do that if you were fat
04:26Careful Peter that's an old family photo. My mother gave it to me. Huh, that's weird
04:32I didn't know you had a brother
04:37I don't I mean, I don't think so hey if I'm fat and Stewie's fat too because we wear the same size onesie
04:51Hello pumpkin hello daddy, did I miss your piano recital? No daddy. I'm in my 40s now. Good God
04:57I had a question. I wanted to ask. Um, do I have a brother?
05:02Uh, uh, uh, no, no, no, don't be silly
05:05Cuz I found this picture
05:07Uh, uh, uh, oh dick. Thank God you're here. Talk to her message
05:11CM 27 the subscriber you are trying to reach is unavailable or outside the calling area
05:19What do you feel like doing later message CM 42? Let's go pay some hookers to knock our junk around
05:27Are you sure this is a good idea? Daddy's never gonna tell me the truth
05:32The only way to find out is to check the family records, huh breaking into grandma and grandpa's house
05:38This is more exciting than that time. I saw Bobby McFerrin fall down all those stairs
05:42Oh
05:53What are you doing? They're sleeping in here now, please they get so doped up on sleeping pills and liquor and earthquake wouldn't wake them up
06:04My god, how does she sleep at night knowing she has to funnel this old duffers hog
06:08This is it Patrick pewterschmidt 56 meadow lane brookfield
06:17I do have a brother. Oh my god. I've gotta meet him. Oh, hey, Brian, you know what would be fun?
06:24Oh god, totally
06:26Awesome
06:30You know sometimes the old-fashioned playthings are the best
06:33Hey kids of America
06:34It's hand-painted wooden ball in a cup who needs constant electronic video stimulation when there's ball in a cup
06:42Mexico's favorite toy for over
06:44340 years
06:46Toss the ball catch it in the cup dump it out of the cup toss it and catch it in the cup again
06:52The ball is on a string and attached to the cup
06:55So there's no worry if you don't catch the ball in the cup and clean up is as easy as catching a ball in a cup
07:01So I spend another day not catching a ball in a cup when you could be catching a ball in a cup
07:16Peter I think maybe you're in denial about this fat thing. Oh, yeah
07:19Well, I challenge you to prove to me that I'm fat. Uh, okay. Hang on
07:24See this. Yeah, you know what it is. Uh, yeah, it's an apple. Good good good. All right. Watch this
07:32What the hell? What is this? What is this some kind of gag? Uh, no, that's orbit
07:37Huh? You have your own gravitational pull. Oh, that's a bunch of crap
07:41Now back to the three stooges
07:47Can you believe I'm about to meet my long-lost brother? Maybe dateline will do a story on us, huh?
08:02I'll get to meet that pompous ass stone phillips
08:05He's a kind of guy you hate till he's inside. Yeah, there it is 56 meadow lane
08:13Brookfield insane asylum. Oh my god mom's brother's crazy. Oh
08:18No, I didn't catch the ball in the cup. Oh, wait a minute. It's okay because the ball is on a string and attached to the cup
08:24Doctor is my brother really insane mrs. Griffin. We don't use the word insane
08:34We prefer the term mentally hilarious. Oh, I can't wait to meet the lunatic
08:39I bet he's even weirder than that commercial I saw. Hey, is that that new butter substitute?
08:43It sure is. Is it true?
08:44It has half the calories of butter or margarine with all the great taste. Yep. Can I have some get your own
08:49Take that you bitch. Oh, what the hell? How'd you like that? Hey jokes on you? I have hepatitis
08:57Patrick yes, my name's lois. I'm your sister. Oh my god lois. I never thought I'd see you again
09:05These are my children. Why do you live in a crazy house uncle patrick? Well when I was just a little boy
09:12I had a very traumatic experience
09:15Mommy, can I have a drink of water?
09:18Jackie Gleason! Beat it kid your mother's busy
09:24Pow right in the kisser. Oh, that's a horrible story. Yes, I was so traumatized
09:30They sent me here and I guess they must have forgotten about me. Well, you seem perfectly normal to me
09:35And no brother of mine is gonna be cooped up in some insane asylum. We are taking you back to cohort with us
09:41Oh, that's a great idea. Maybe he can bring his sling blade and order up some french fried potatoes
09:50Thank God I'm out of that hospital
09:52It's great to be eating lunch with my family instead of a bunch of chronic masturbators. Those people are disgusting
09:58Is it lonely up there on your pedestal Patrick? Oh Peter there you are. This is my brother Patrick
10:04Yeah, yeah good to meet you Patrick. All right. Listen up everybody. I have something to tell you
10:08I'm not quite sure how to say this
10:12I'm fat
10:13Let me give you a minute to absorb that
10:16That's the way it is. It's nobody's fault
10:18Meg
10:19But I've decided to do something about it. Oh great. You're gonna drop some weight fat ass. Oh dummy
10:25I'm gonna help make this a fat man's world by establishing the national association for the advancement of fat people
10:32This is the best idea I've had since I slayed that dragon
10:37Sybil Shepard yes
10:54People you are free
11:01You know i'm very glad you're here patrick well
11:06I want to tell you that marion and i both appreciate what you've done marion oh you have a girlfriend
11:13Oh where are my manners marion is my wife she's sitting right next to me oh here we go oh
11:22Nice to meet you marion what's that honey oh yes hang on marion wants some coffee
11:29Lois did you see that he's nuts brian he's been locked up in that place for 30 years
11:34It's perfectly understandable that he'd invent an imaginary companion
11:39Yes, he's even more imaginative than the people who invented singing
11:42Mmm
11:44Mmm
11:46Mmm
11:48Mmm
11:50Mmm
11:52Mmm
11:54Oh
11:56Oh
11:58For the longest time
12:00Whoa
12:02Oh
12:04If you said goodbye to me tonight
12:14All right everyone i'd like to get started
12:16I i i i'd like to get
12:21You know what maybe everyone should sit down
12:32Oh
12:35Okay that's better welcome everybody to the first
12:42Uh uh snacks are uh best saved for later
12:46Okay now i've prepared an agenda for our organization what we want from the community as fat people with pride
13:07All right i think we got a lot accomplished here today uh we'll pick this up again tomorrow
13:28Hey guys i'm going for a run do me a favor and keep marion company while i'm gone
13:36Uh sure great bye honey
13:39Hey brian marion just called you an alcoholic
13:45Oh yeah marion just called you a homo
13:48Wait wait a second i'll be right back
13:51Hey brian brian what if i what if i put this cucumber right here
13:56Put the cucumber right there do you think patrick would be angry
13:59I don't know man it's his wife
14:00You don't you don't think he'd be ticked off if i if i put this just put that right there
14:04Just right in that spot right there on the couch hey hey marion's giving you a thumbs up
14:09You know what we should do we should let it sit here for a couple of weeks and see if it pickles
14:16If after three weeks it pickles then she's real and we both have to buy patrick a steak
14:21Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
14:28Hey pie i know what you want i saw you in that movie
14:33Whore slut bitch you don't deserve to have sex with me instead i'm gonna eat the whore out of you
14:39Peter did you start a coalition for fat guys yeah the fat guy coalition
14:44Peter you shouldn't encourage people to be fat fat people are immoral how do you figure sports fan
14:49They're just bad people like that jackie gleason he was fat and he was bad one time when i was a boy
14:56oh i love jackie gleason hey take a look at what i bought at this tv convention
15:02it's a bus driver's uniform pow right in the kisser
15:08pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser
15:16pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser
15:24wow that set him off like a paul schaefer fire alarm
15:27hello
15:39lois it's your father the hospital called and said you released patrick have you lost your mind he's
15:44incredibly dangerous oh well that's ridiculous patrick is a very nice man and you should be ashamed
15:50of yourself for locking up your own son whose pickle is this this just in the body of a local
15:56fat man was found murdered in quahog park last night police released this sketch of the suspect
16:04oh my god police also released this sketch of a female accomplice believed to be his wife
16:09hello i'm tom tucker quahog's newest serial killer has struck again since the first victim
16:22at quahog park last week three more men have been killed all of them very very fat lois that sketch
16:28looks a lot like patrick oh that's ridiculous i don't know i mean he's clearly crazy look at that
16:33imaginary wife of his well if she's imaginary how do you explain the pickle on the couch i i i don't
16:39understand what uh oh oh wait what really hey stewie i know i know i heard
16:48patrick where have you been oh it's nothing you need to concern yourself with lois well that's a relief
16:56oh yeah yeah that's that's a relief yeah the fat guy strangler's living here and there's a fat guy in
17:00the house this will be a bigger disaster than when peter did tara reed's boob job
17:06oh drop some pepperoni on there you know what that works sew it up
17:12michael was one of our brothers he was a good man he was a kind man he was a fat man and now
17:19he's a dead man and we're all next the fat guy strangler's gonna get us he's right oh my god we're
17:25finished someone tie my shoe people people i know what'll make us feel better let us sing the n double a
17:30afp anthem stand up all fat men stand up straight stand up because no chair can hold your weight
17:46if god created us if god created us to be so big that's proof he must be a big fat pig
17:59god's real flabby with an ass so wide his arms look like pillows with cake mix inside god's man boobs are
18:18flabby and they hurt when he jogs and the back of god's neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
18:40all right everybody just make yourselves at home lois these are the fat guys fat guys lois my god look at
18:45you fat bastards i bet none of you can even find your own penis find your penis for a dollar find
18:50your penis one dollar one dollar find your penis find your penis here peter what's going on lois
18:56my people are in danger until they find the fat guy strangler we will stay here victor don't lean
19:00against that hey everybody peter you gotta get these guys out of here patrick is the murderer what
19:07you son of a bitch don't listen to brian he doesn't know what he's talking about out of my way lois
19:14your brother is toast warm buttery toast that sounds good i love toast i just found my penis run patrick run
19:23after him boys to your rascals
19:35he went into james woods let's spread out and find him we'll head him off at
19:41todd man you gotta chew your food
19:45brian i know my brother he couldn't have done these things well let's see if you feel that way when you
19:50see this look so he has pictures of himself strangling fat guys that doesn't mean he's the fat
20:04guy strangler oh yeah what about the dead fat guy under his bed coincidence what about the half dead fat
20:09guy in the corner patrick tried to kill me well maybe it's a different patrick lois okay okay oh my
20:16god peter's out there with him wait you're gonna eat that dead fat guy
20:23how are we gonna find them don't worry lois i'm good at finding people i was the one who found bush
20:27after hurricane katrina uh mr president are you up there go away sir there's a disaster in new orleans
20:35i'm reading super fudge you gotta come down and deal with this don't make me do stuff
20:39patrick patrick patrick oh crap guess we lost him well nothing left to do but finish this sentence
20:47uninterrupted
20:51patrick let him go don't come any closer patrick let him go or marion gets it nice try but marion's over
21:01there don't hurt her now let him go okay okay you missed no i didn't that's for rolling up the
21:13damn window when i tried to jump into the general lee i'm sorry lois i never meant to hurt anybody
21:20i mean i did mean to kill those fat guys but i never meant to hurt you you may be very sick patrick but i
21:26love you you're my brother and you'll always be my brother i have to go back to the hospital don't i
21:33yeah i'm afraid so hey patrick do you see how that rock hit me in the face it was like pow right in the
21:38kisser pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser stop screaming you can't hear me pow right in the
21:44kisser pow right in the kisser pow right in the kisser i miss uncle patrick don't worry kids i promise
21:53we can visit him once a month will be his period uh i was just upstairs and there's a half dead fat guy
22:00eating a dead fat guy uh-huh so i guess we're just looking the other way huh
Recommended
21:32
|
Up next
0:46
2:11