- 2 days ago
Family-Guy-Season 4 Ep13-Jungle-Love
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00:00On the next episode of Deadwood.
00:02Anything yet?
00:04Nope.
00:04You?
00:05Nope.
00:06Next, Deadwood.
00:08Chris, what are y'all dressed up for?
00:10These are my back-to-school clothes.
00:12I start high school tomorrow.
00:14Oh, boy.
00:15You better watch out for the freshman hunt.
00:17Yeah, that's where seniors hunt down freshmen and nail them with paddles.
00:22Aw, man, remember how much fun that was beating those freshmen silly?
00:25Oh, yeah.
00:27You're not serious, are you?
00:29Chris, I'm just as serious as I was when I saw Paul Reiser do stand-up.
00:33What's the deal with airline food?
00:35I mean, is this stuff bad or what?
00:37Oh, that's not nice.
00:38Those chefs work really hard.
00:39And what's with those Starbucks, huh?
00:41They're everywhere.
00:42Uh, a lot of people want coffee.
00:44That's supply and demand.
00:46It's the foundation of our entire economy, Paul.
00:48And who do I talk to about those long lines at the ATM?
00:52That's what I want to know.
00:53Uh, not me, Mr. Reiser.
00:55Someone who has time to fritter away, but not me.
00:59Peter, what are you doing?
01:01You've been out of work forever, and you promised me you were going out to look for a job today.
01:05Oh, uh, okay.
01:06I'll go look for a job, Lois.
01:08Oh, what is this?
01:10The latest Red Book.
01:14Is she gone?
01:16Oh, them and their squabbling.
01:17Although I suppose they're not the first couple to have problems.
01:20Did you have a nice day?
01:23It's okay.
01:24You know, our son got into your closet today.
01:28Uh, okay.
01:29Yeah, anything...
01:30Anything in there maybe you wouldn't have wanted him to see?
01:34No.
01:35Really?
01:36You don't have any dirty pictures in there?
01:38No.
01:39Then how do you explain these?
01:43So what?
01:43So I have some paintings.
01:44Is this how you want me to look?
01:46Oh, come on, Karen.
01:47Do you hate your body so much you have to reduce every painting of the female form to pornography?
01:51Oh, no, don't do that, Karen.
01:51Don't you do that.
01:52Don't make this my fault.
01:53It is your fault.
01:54You're the one who hasn't paid attention to me in two months.
01:57Hello, how was your day?
01:57Take an interest.
01:58Oh, no, that's impossible for you.
02:00You know what this is about?
02:00What?
02:01This is about your disrespect for me, this family, and everything we stand for.
02:04Oh, what we stand for.
02:05What do we stand for?
02:06Who are we, the Goraks now?
02:07Oh, suddenly you're Cynthia Gorak.
02:09That's what you want, isn't it?
02:09You've always wanted to be Cynthia Gorak.
02:11Yeah, well, you know what?
02:11At least Cynthia Gorak's husband cares about her family.
02:14Oh.
02:15Oh, I can't even talk to you when you're like this.
02:17Oh, okay.
02:18It's over now because you say it is.
02:19Oh, way to go, Karen.
02:20You solved all our problems by just walking away.
02:23And it's so obvious I don't care about the family.
02:25I just killed a 700-pound tiger with a stick and a rock.
02:28That doesn't make you a man, Gary.
02:29Here we go.
02:31Here's act two of the performance.
02:32Karen pretends to leave home for the 20th time.
02:35You know what?
02:36You know what, Karen?
02:36Karen, go.
02:37I'm not going to stop you.
02:38Just go.
02:39Get out.
02:39Get the hell out.
02:40Screw you, Gary.
02:42Oh, yeah.
02:42If you did that more often, maybe I wouldn't need these paintings.
02:45Oh, what the hell are you looking at?
02:49I say, anybody listen to Howard Stern this morning?
02:51He had some strippers in the studio.
02:53They sounded hot.
02:55Then he made a joke about a Negro.
02:57But Robin laughed, so it was okay.
02:58Uh, I think I'm coming down with something.
03:03Chris, relax.
03:04The freshman hunt doesn't really exist.
03:06It's just a myth to scare freshmen.
03:08Really?
03:09Oh, boy.
03:10That's a relief.
03:11Now have a good day at school, sweetie.
03:16Freshman!
03:17Freshman.
03:33Oh, I got you, you freshman.
03:36I'm going to teach you the lesson that it is not okay to be a freshman.
03:42No more Mr. Nice Guy.
03:45No more Mr. Glee.
03:49No more Mr. Nice Guy.
03:52They say he's sick.
03:55He's obscene.
03:57All right, Mr. Griffin.
04:00Jobs you think you would be suited for.
04:02Let's see what you wrote.
04:03Cowboy, astronaut, warlock, more powerful astronaut, beer expert.
04:10Yeah, and I need something that pays more to my last job as Sandy Duncan's glass eye.
04:15Hey, hey, Sandy.
04:17Sandy.
04:17Uh, what?
04:18What are you buying?
04:19Uh, some breakfast cereal.
04:21Oh, I don't get that.
04:22That's a bad cereal.
04:23Get some of the blueberry.
04:25Huh.
04:25Turns out there's a job opening at the Pawtucket Brewery.
04:28Wow, that sounds even better than when I got paid to take part in that study.
04:32Hmm.
04:32The only one who couldn't finish the puzzle is the fat one.
04:35I'm sorry.
04:36I can't see what you're going for here.
04:38Let me look at...
04:39Oh, it's a jar of preserves.
04:41Oh.
04:42Yeah, I guess that's what all the red pieces were, huh?
04:47Hey, Chris.
04:48Was school any better today?
04:50No, I hate it.
04:51I never want to go back.
04:53Oh, come on.
04:54It'll get better.
04:55You just have to find your place.
04:56Let's go, Stewie.
04:57Time to change your diaper.
04:58I'm not worried about high school at all.
05:01Worst case scenario, I'll carve out a niche as the effeminate male friend of the popular
05:05girls.
05:05Okay, tonight's my OC party.
05:07I got a case of wine coolers so we can drink every time Ryan seethes.
05:11Cool.
05:12I'd love to come.
05:13Me too.
05:14How'd you get the wine coolers?
05:15No, it's not.
05:16I just did some stuff for a guy in the parking lot.
05:18Does anyone have any scope?
05:20I don't care what she says.
05:22I'm never going back.
05:23Look, you can't run away from your problems, Chris.
05:25That's what I tried to do.
05:27I joined the Peace Corps, and a day later, I was two continents away.
05:30Really?
05:31Yep.
05:31But 6,000 miles and all the dope I could smoke still couldn't separate me from my problems.
05:36And this was good dope.
05:37I mean, it was growing everywhere.
05:39Oh, my God.
05:40This one time, this one time we got so baked, we ended up eating all the food the World Health
05:45Organization had airlifted in.
05:46Man, those villagers were so pissed.
05:49They tried to chase us, but let me just say, thank God for polio.
05:52Anyway, my point is that...
05:54Huh.
05:55Hey, is Peter here?
05:56I want to rehire him.
05:58My new eye isn't working out.
05:59Hey, Wheat Thins, take your top off.
06:06I like pancakes.
06:07I like pancakes.
06:08They make me a happy Peter.
06:10I am happy.
06:11I am happy.
06:12La, la, la, la, la.
06:13Peter, you seem happy this morning.
06:15You bet.
06:16I'm starting my new job at the brewery.
06:17Finally, I'm one of those guys who can't wait to get to work in the morning.
06:20Like a dairy cow.
06:22Oh!
06:23Oh!
06:25Oh, yes!
06:28Yes!
06:30Oh!
06:32Peter, I just found this note in Chris's room.
06:35He ran away to join the Peace Corps.
06:37Oh, my God.
06:37Give me that.
06:38No, that.
06:49Ah!
06:50Oh!
06:50Dumb!
06:51I'm bored with it now.
06:52Peter, Chris ran off to South America.
06:55Well, where the hell would he get an idea like that?
06:57Wait a second.
06:58Don't we know someone who was in the Peace Corps?
07:01Yeah, who was that?
07:02Was that Bo Bridges?
07:04Do we know Bo Bridges?
07:05No, we don't.
07:06But I'm positive we know somebody who was in the Peace Corps.
07:09Look, it's me, all right?
07:10He got the idea from me.
07:11Brian, what the hell is wrong with you?
07:14I didn't do it on purpose.
07:16And before you fly off the handle, you may want to think about it.
07:18The kid's obviously confused.
07:19This might be good for him.
07:20People do crazy things when they're confused.
07:22Like the time my agent dropped that bomb on me.
07:25No one in this town will hire you.
07:28Oh, yeah?
07:44Taxi!
07:45Taxi!
07:46Taxi!
07:51All right, Chris.
07:52We're approaching your assigned village.
07:53Tell the people to work together and drink clean water.
07:56Oh, and by the way, the word colored still flies down there, so get your fill.
08:02Hello.
08:07I am Chief Oleki.
08:08Welcome to my village.
08:10Our air is clean, our food is bountiful, and our water is caffeine-free.
08:14Never had it?
08:15Ha, ha, ha.
08:16Never will.
08:17This is my daughter, Loka.
08:20My son, Hidalgo.
08:22And my cousin, Vinny.
08:23Hey, how you doing?
08:24Give me a word.
08:25Any word at all, and I'll pronounce it funny for a nickel.
08:31Hello?
08:32Hi, Mom.
08:33Chris, are you all right?
08:35Oh, Chris, buddy, thank God you're okay.
08:37Hi, Dad.
08:38Hey, this has been driving me crazy.
08:39Who was the chick on Remington Steel?
08:41Hello?
08:42Stephanie Zimbalist?
08:43No, Stewie Griffin.
08:44Who's this?
08:45Ah, thank you.
08:46Chris, what are you doing down there?
08:47Relax, Mom.
08:49I'm having a great time.
08:50You people knocked me off the modem.
08:52When are you coming home?
08:53How's the food in South America?
08:55Do the women there have exposed Clitorati?
08:57I'll be home in a month after people have forgotten I'm a freshman.
09:00Well, please, just take care of yourself, honey.
09:03Hey, guys.
09:04Is everyone on the phone?
09:05Oh, I gotta go.
09:06Something's in the oven.
09:07I lost a shoe.
09:07No, no, don't leave me on the phone with her.
09:09Stewie?
09:10Hey.
09:11How's school?
09:13Hi, Stewie.
09:15Listen, I am swamped, but, uh, Mom has kept me up to date on everything you're doing,
09:20and I think it's just great.
09:22Hanging up now.
09:26Boy, this place sure has changed since Pawtucket Pat sold it.
09:30So this is where you'll be working, Mr. Griffin.
09:32Oh, and I should mention, employees are welcome to free Pawtucket Ale.
09:36We just ask that you don't drink during your shift.
09:39That won't be a problem, sir.
09:40Great.
09:41Well, I'll be right back with your ID badge.
09:45Mr. Griffin, what happened to your pants?
09:48Oh, look who's here, Mr. I-don't-have-time-for-your-little-league-games.
09:53Come here, you son of a bitch.
09:57Why do you close your eyes when we make love?
10:00Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
10:06Huh?
10:07I wonder how your father's first day at work went.
10:12Dad?
10:12What the hell are you doing?
10:14Uh, yeah, hey, buddy.
10:15Uh, I'll have a triple cheeseburger and a large fries and, uh, you sell pants.
10:21Hey, Meg, what's with all the beer cans?
10:25Oh, my dad got a job at the brewery and he gets lots of free beer.
10:28Actually, he's kind of been going overboard lately.
10:31Oh, my God!
10:33Hey, Meg, you see my pants?
10:35Oh, Lois, by the way, we're out of toilet paper.
10:39Chris, thank you for helping bring water to my village.
10:47You're a hero.
10:48No, Lou Gehrig was a hero.
10:51Excellent.
10:52As soon as I release this biological toxin into the world's water supply, I will rule the world.
10:57I'll call it Lou Gehrig's disease.
11:00I just have to remember to make sure this cap is screwed on tight.
11:05Well, I guess the joke's on me.
11:09This is a gift from all of us.
11:12Go ahead, try it on.
11:13Hmm, okay.
11:18Oh, my, Chris, we can see your genitals.
11:20Ha!
11:22Just kidding.
11:23Everyone's genitals are hanging out.
11:25Really?
11:27Wow, this is just like Bible camp, only I'm not crying and trying to pretend I'm somewhere else.
11:36Mr. Griffin, since you can't control your drinking,
11:38you've been demoted to the shipping department.
11:41Oh, come on!
11:42This is your new supervisor, Angela.
11:45Mr. Griffin, we have different rules here.
11:47For starters, no drinking.
11:49Period.
11:49We start work at 7 a.m. sharp.
11:52This is your co-worker, Opie.
11:54He is a burden of the state, deemed unfit for mainstream society.
11:58He is your superior.
11:59What did he say?
12:06He said he wants you to put your finger in his mouth.
12:08If you value your job, I'd do it.
12:12Ow!
12:12He bit me!
12:13Mr. Griffin, although I may not fully understand Opie's management style,
12:17he has proven himself a more competent employee than you.
12:20So, in my absence, you will listen to him.
12:23Oh, come on, guy.
12:28Oh, oh, oh, oh, damn it.
12:31This is worse than being Kevin Federline's magic mirror.
12:36Magic mirror, how can I look like a douchebag today?
12:39Well, Kevin, I would say, first of all, don't shave or shower.
12:42Okay, I won't.
12:43And you just got out of bed, right?
12:45Yeah.
12:45I would say just go ahead and wear that tank top all day.
12:48Um, okay.
12:49All right, so we covered the hygiene, no college shirts.
12:52Um, oh, and don't forget to walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment.
13:01Chris, the Festival of the Harvest is a time of celebration for my people.
13:05Would you like to dance?
13:06Sure.
13:07No one's ever asked me to dance before.
13:10I want a douchebag.
13:14Douchebag.
13:15You put the boom boom into my heart.
13:18You set my soul sky high when your loving starts.
13:22That's a douchebag.
13:23Into my brain.
13:25It goes a bang, bang, bang, till my feet do the same.
13:28Wake me up before you go-go.
13:31Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.
13:34Wake me up before you go-go.
13:38And take me dancing tonight.
13:41This is a joyous occasion.
13:45You have engaged the entire tribe in dance.
13:47According to our customs, you are now married to my daughter.
13:50I couldn't be happier.
13:52Well, if you're happy, then I'm happy, because after all...
13:55What?
13:55My job sucks.
14:00I'm tired of always scrounging around on the bottom rung of society, getting kicked around
14:04by the man.
14:05Like when I worked in that lab with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.
14:08Meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem, meem.
14:11Oh, agreed, Peter.
14:14Oh, we got a letter from Chris.
14:17Okay, he says he's doing great, having a wonderful time, he met a girl, he got married.
14:26He says he's not coming back.
14:28We'll be landing in South America shortly.
14:41Please buckle your seatbelts.
14:42Oh, hey, Brenda.
14:44What do you got for me?
14:45Coffee?
14:46Damn, your ass looks hot.
14:47Oh, is this thing on?
14:49I don't care.
14:49I want him to hear.
14:50Oh, Chris, my baby.
14:52I told you, Peter, I never should have let him out of my stomach.
14:55I can't believe Chris got married.
14:57Hmm, this is bigger news than when I toured Europe with that musical rendition of My Left Foot.
15:02My left foot always been better than the right one.
15:09My left foot always gets me where I need to go.
15:21I'll start out easy.
15:25A little more complex.
15:27Oh, Chris, my baby.
15:39Hi, Mom and Dad.
15:41Everybody, this is my wife, Loka.
15:44We're married.
15:46Well, maybe here, but not in America, where God pays attention.
15:50Now get your things together.
15:52We're leaving right now.
15:53Well, Mom, I'm not going anywhere.
15:55I'm happy here.
15:57This is my home.
15:58Hey, you guys got an ATM.
16:00I only got $37 on me.
16:04What's the matter with them?
16:06We've never seen that much money before.
16:08You are the richest man in the country.
16:10Richest man in the country?
16:12Wow, no griffon's been this powerful since my ancestor, King Arthur Griffin.
16:16Oh, Arthur, if you are able to draw the sword from the stone and prove to me you truly are the sole king of Camelot, I will make love to you right here in the clearing.
16:25What if I could just move it an inch? Will you touch me?
16:31This is amazing.
16:32You've got the biggest hut in the village and all these servants, and you've only spent $1.50.
16:36Well, that's a hell of a lot less than I had to spend to go see that piece of crap remake of Bewitched.
16:41Guess what? I'm a witch.
16:43Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan.
16:47Mm-hmm.
16:48Mm-hmm.
17:18Announceable.
17:25Flight 142 from Atlanta.
17:27All right.
17:28All right.
17:28All right.
17:29All right.
17:29All right.
17:30All right.
17:31All right.
17:32All right.
17:33All right.
17:34All right.
17:35All right.
17:36All right.
17:37All right.
17:38All right.
17:39All right.
17:40All right.
17:41All right.
17:42All right.
17:43All right.
17:44All right.
17:45All right.
17:46All right.
17:47All right.
17:48hello that's not funny
17:56peter this is ridiculous we came here to take chris home why are we staying because i'm tired of
18:04being treated like crap at work don't you see what this means to me i'm somebody here finally
18:09a white man has an opportunity to be rich and in charge hey pesci here's a nickel say yugoslavia
18:15yugoslavia here's a dime kill pesci the native man is an impressive physical specimen look closely
18:23at his sinewy muscular form and unusual vitality it is a thrill to watch him dig a ditch or lift
18:29a jug of water or participate in a hunt cut print gay what's going on now peter paid the villagers to
18:39reenact the contest episode of seinfeld i am out huh i am out i have pleasured myself
18:45dad i have had enough of you taking advantage of these people for god's sakes the woman playing
18:56elaine is a high priestess you can't spare one square i don't have to take that from you i'm
19:02the richest guy in town dad don't you see this is a wonderful place and you're just using it to
19:09escape from your problems at home what do you mean meg's right there but chris honey aren't you doing
19:14the same thing what do you mean i mean you just came here because you were being picked on at school
19:19you're using these people to escape your problems oh my god you're right i married this 11 year old
19:26girl for all the wrong reasons i'm sorry loca i guess i just came here because i was afraid of being
19:32a freshman freshman freshman i guess you can't run away from your problems anywhere
19:44jack start the engine get the plane up
20:02uh peter i think we forgot mig
20:32you
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