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Too Much Season 1 Episode 5
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Short filmTranscript
00:00You
00:21There's no way I
00:24Don't know I don't think anything happens to us after we die. Excuse me. No, she's right
00:30Bugs ate us hmm. Well last week. You said you was a spiritual babe now
00:53Boy that one oh
00:55Hi, I
00:57Said it was gonna be low-key, but this is like really low-key. I saw a loose pig. Oh, yeah duck taking a bath
01:04Chess, this is Augie. Oh, hi Jessica. I heard a lot about you. Shut the fuck up, man. That's all
01:10Okay, don't forget my lady woman Pamela. Sorry Pamela. God you look like someone famous. Who is it?
01:15I don't think anyone could look this beautiful
01:18Rachel Lee cook got it. Who's that? She's all that 90s icon
01:23You know, she takes off her glasses. She's hot now, but she was always hot. She was in those um
01:27Say no to drug PSA's, you know, this is your brain on heroin
01:32Yeah, we don't know
01:33We don't know
01:34I may just go against the freaks. I'm such a legend in hell. How many of you had now?
01:38Hey, do you want one? No, I'm alright. This is Demby
01:41So pure time man. He's just trying to keep a healthy vibe man. Shit. We should go get our stuff together in a minute
01:47Our stuff is together man. Look at this place. It's it's a pig farm. We're playing to pigs. Hey, this is Jess Jess
01:53This is Polly. Nice to meet you. Hi. Hiya. Whoa, we kissed. I love it. Thanks so much for coming. Hi, how are you?
02:00You look so good. Yeah, um, Polly's gonna hang with you while we're playing. Is that all right? Yeah. Oh my god
02:04I'm really yeah, as cool as your jacket is
02:06Oh, merci
02:07Of course
02:08Ah
02:09Ah
02:10Okay
02:11Bye-bye
02:12Bye-bye
02:13Bonne bébé
02:14Comme le vent
02:15Oui
02:16Bonjour
02:17Let me introduce you, Jessica
02:19Yeah
02:20I'm Polly
02:21And I'm Polly
02:22Hi
02:23Polly Health
02:23Three beautiful Polly's, beautiful ladies in England
02:27If it's easier, people call her Polly A, me Polly WP and her Polly NTD
02:32NTD
02:33Easy
02:34It's not easier, it's harder to, it's more to memorize
02:38Um, I'll just say, Polly get over here and you three will come
02:41Yeah
02:42That was loud
02:43So you guys know Felix for a long time? You've known him like he's like a cousin just hanging around you guys know him so well
02:48Do you remember when Felix was 17 and then he dressed like Sid Vischer?
02:52And then he had that minor male eating disorder, do you remember that?
02:55Yeah
02:56I thought he would die, like I wanted to breastfeed him, you know, to keep him alive
02:59To nourish him
03:00Yeah
03:01You did it, breastfeed him, did you?
03:02No, I tried but no milk, you know how it is, if you have no eggs it doesn't work
03:06Hello Hackney, we are sleet
03:08This is for the piggies and the donkeys and all you other mad fuckers
03:12And this is push-tuck
03:29Okay, what do you want?
03:30Can I have a Negroni, please?
03:31Groni?
03:32Beer, immediately
03:33Actually a piggie
03:35Yep
03:36Oh, I'm good with water, I'm not really drinking these days, I'm kind of sober
03:39Oh cool
03:40Me neither, I only drink beer
03:42It helps me to stay hot
03:43Um, so one of you went to Portugal with Felix?
03:48Felix, I wheeled it
03:49Wasn't that the trip?
03:50Well, he fell off the cliff
03:51Yeah
03:52Yes
03:53And Polly ran to the bottom and he was just sitting up, quoting Bukowski like nothing could happen
03:57Oh my god, that's so good
03:58And then I sunburned my corneas because I was staring directly at an eclipse and they left me in a dark room for like a week on my own
04:05History
04:07Yeah, you didn't hear about that?
04:08Oh my god
04:09I do remember this story
04:10Felix, I love when he tells me his stories, I know so much about him, he shares a lot
04:15Cheers, bitches
04:16Cheers
04:18Cheers
04:20Cheers
04:22Cheers
04:23Cheers
04:24Amazing day
04:25We're having an amazing day
04:26Yes
04:27What can we say?
04:28We're having an amazing day, right girls?
04:29Yeah, true
04:30Um, so which one of you is the closest to Felix in like a family?
04:33Sort of you're my sister, you're my homie, my main homie sort of way like, oh, I can't imagine my life without you
04:38But it's like in a very sibling, sibling way
04:41I mean, it's all about us, isn't it?
04:43Yeah
04:44Non-hierarchical friendship, you know
04:46Which one of you feels like you're really creatively in line with him and what he believes in and what is important in life and love for him?
04:52Which one of you is like the most like, you know, you're my confidant, I will tell you everything, you know, late nights, early mornings, let's go to a diner
04:59Wow, did I sleep for a long time? Like, it was so long, I can't remember the question
05:04So he tells all of us everything
05:06Three musketeers, you know
05:07But like four
05:08Okay, fine
05:09Um, sure
05:10All right, here we go
05:11So you and Felix used to fuck?
05:13Oh, wow
05:14Please don't say that vulgar, no, it's, uh, I don't know, I felt really safe with him for the ten years that we were
05:20Yikes, that's a long time
05:22Yeah, big time
05:23And yeah, I learned a lot about myself
05:25But now he's more like my child or like, who knows, my fifth husband
05:30And there will be five
05:32At least
05:33Hey, Felix
05:34Felix
05:36He's probably looking for something
05:38I saw Demi lick his phone, so they're probably racking up
05:41Mmm
05:43No, they're not
05:44He's, um, sober, so they're not racking up, they're not racking down
05:47Felix is not sober
05:49Is he?
05:50No, he's not
05:51But I'm really excited to see him play such a good philanderer
05:54Wait, what?
05:55I mean, orator
05:56He's an amazing orator
05:57Like, his chat in between his songs is fucking great
06:01Lol, they mean such different things
06:03No, they don't
06:04Philanderer and orator
06:06Are you joking?
06:07It's good
06:08Do you know he doesn't have a good chat?
06:09Oh, are you taking a picture?
06:10Yeah
06:11I'd like to capture a discomfort moment
06:13Oh, get another one, I'll smile
06:15No
06:16Okay
06:17Hey cutie
06:19Hey you
06:20Can't talk now
06:21Are out of here
06:22Let's do it
06:23Let's get the cat
06:24Do you want some of this?
06:26No, no, I don't think that I should try cocaine
06:29I mean, my heart's like racing as we speak, so
06:32It's cat
06:33It's not coke
06:34Amine?
06:35Cetamine?
06:36No, no
06:37God no
06:38I mean, I read in the Daily Mail that it turned your gallbladder into marbles
06:42I mean, yeah, if you snort it all day, every day for like a decade, maybe
06:45Yeah, no, it's okay, it's just reality will leave you and you're gonna have big ideas
06:49Again, I'm sober curious, so I'm not even drinking
06:52So get the stuff away from me, I won't be able to stop
06:55I'll have to get help, I do not want that, no
06:59A lot of stuff went down in New York that I really don't want to talk about, stop asking me
07:03Ah!
07:04Home invasion
07:05You write that up in blood, bastard!
07:07You know what?
07:08Okay, let's do it
07:10I will have some, I will have some
07:13Well, every woman worth her salt will, will, is, should try it, try it once, I'll try everything once
07:20Doesn't mean I'll try it twice
07:22Can it go?
07:23Let's do it, I can't wait to do ketamine with my girl, it's a big bag
07:28Push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push
07:48Oh, come
07:49Oh, we're missing the fun stuff
07:51She just needed a lorry for the pet
07:52Do you want some?
07:53It's too late to sort it out
07:55You know, I wonder if it's too late.
07:57I feel like it's so beautiful here.
07:59You're so pretty.
08:01Yeah, it's gonna be okay.
08:03I have a camera.
08:15Bit of a dirty cat.
08:17I'm not above it.
08:19Please don't have any jealousies with me, you know?
08:21Like, when you're young, you have sex with everyone you love.
08:23I mean, that's how you know you love them.
08:25And Felix was there when my mom disappeared from a boat in Marseille.
08:29And he woke me through the dark very gently.
08:32That's why he's just my friend.
08:34I feel like there's, like, a delay.
08:36Like, you're talking, but I'm like, do you hear me?
08:38Like, do you hear me if I go, like,
08:40Wee-oo, wee-oo, wee-oo, wee-oo?
08:42Do you hear that if I'm doing that?
08:44You hear the sound like I'm doing, like, an alarm sound?
08:46You hear my alarm sound?
08:48You're so sweet. Like, really.
08:50Oh, my God. There it is.
08:52My soul's leaving its body like an Uber.
08:54I-I have so many questions.
08:56I-I can't go. I have questions.
08:58Like, when a triplet dies,
09:00do the other two triplets become twins?
09:02Like, are they just like, yeah, I'm a triplet,
09:05but don't ask about the other one?
09:06Or do I have a soul phone and then a regular phone?
09:08Like, a regular phone to text my family on,
09:10and then a soul phone is, like, when you really, really connect?
09:13Am I the Meghan Merkle of, like, fat white bitches?
09:16Please, do not look at me like a monster.
09:19I'm not looking at you like a monster.
09:21I'm looking at you like a cat.
09:23You look like a cat, and-and cats scare you
09:25because I don't know what they're thinking.
09:27They're so selfish.
09:28They're just like, I need to sleep.
09:30And Felix is probably up in the clouds searching for me,
09:32or maybe he's gone down into the pits of hell
09:34to see if the flames are licking me.
09:36He probably thinks I'm dead.
09:37He probably thinks I'm dead.
09:38Oh, everyone knows you're alive.
09:40Ah!
09:41Breathe.
09:42Breathe with me.
09:47No, like, normally, like, no tone.
09:49Are you trying to fuck me right now?
09:51Huh?
09:52But you two never.
09:53Don't say never.
09:54I'm really sexy.
09:55You just need to see me without all my sweaters on.
09:57I already see everything.
09:58I'm just saying, like, I'm trying to bring you to calm,
10:01and when you breathe slowly, you can self-soothe.
10:04Don't need the tongue or anything.
10:06Just in.
10:08Just take Felix.
10:09Just take him.
10:10It'll be like taking a purse off an old lady.
10:11No.
10:12Tell me about it.
10:13No, no.
10:14Tell me about how it is when you guys make love.
10:15Oh, wow.
10:16No, no.
10:17It's like all love was quite toxic.
10:18We...
10:19Neither of us like to be told what to do,
10:21so we triggered each other,
10:23and now that we say bye to sex,
10:25I can feel his heart,
10:27which is so pure and it always has beads.
10:30It's just like he's my friend,
10:32and I'm glad to have him by my side,
10:34but, yeah, I'm lucky that he wanna be,
10:37because I was really not so easy to handle during those days.
10:41I had a lot of anger,
10:43and I expressed myself way much more with my body
10:46than my words.
10:47Let's see, he loves it.
10:49No, it was more like punching him in the face,
10:51but anyway, he is loyal in his way.
10:54Mm-hmm.
10:55It's okay.
10:56We all have to accept the role we play in relationships, you know?
10:58But what if you didn't play a role in the relationship?
11:01You know?
11:02Like, what if your behavior was literally perfect,
11:04because you're a perfect angel,
11:05and then the other person changed,
11:07and the other person got really mean like a monster?
11:09I'm asking for my cousin friend, Shelby.
11:12Cousin friend?
11:13Uh, I would say to this Shelby that
11:15even heroes make mistakes when it comes to love, okay?
11:19You're right.
11:21You're right, Polly.
11:23Heroes make mistakes.
11:25Heroes make mistakes.
11:27Oh, my God.
11:28We've seen her over there.
11:29She is killing the vibe.
11:31We've got to get her out of here.
11:32This is embarrassing.
11:33Someone do a false check on the vibe,
11:34because it is deadly.
11:36Okay, you know what?
11:37I think you should just, like...
11:38I shouldn't have sang.
11:39Yeah, you shouldn't have.
11:40Why did I do that?
11:41I don't know what...
11:42Sometimes, yeah, you know what's...
11:43...was happening.
11:44Go to your place.
11:45Lie on your bed.
11:46Walk through your memory.
11:47Talk to the small girl you were,
11:49and...
11:50Have a nice sleep on a fluffy pillow, okay?
11:52Can you come over?
11:53We order pizza.
11:54We watch a movie.
11:55Yeah, I don't think so,
11:56but I will send you pictures.
11:57Okay.
12:14We're all in the rain.
12:15We're all in the rain.
12:16We're all in the rain.
12:17We're all in the rain.
12:18We're all in the rain.
12:19We're all in the rain.
12:20We're all in the rain.
12:21We're all in the rain.
12:22We're all in the rain.
12:23We're all in the rain.
12:24We're all in the rain.
12:25We're all in the rain.
12:26We're all in the rain.
12:27We're all in the rain.
12:28We're all in the rain.
12:29We're all in the rain.
12:30We're all in the rain.
12:31We're all in the rain.
12:32We're all in the rain.
12:33We're all in the rain.
12:34We're all in the rain.
12:35We're all in the rain.
12:36We're all in the rain.
12:37We're all in the rain.
12:38You're alone in the rain, we'll start my land
13:08Hey, you've reached the office of Relix Femin, I don't really want a voice message, I find them sort of violent
13:20Anyway, peace, bye
13:22This mailbox is full and cannot accept new messages
13:38Come on, just say something, I know you can
14:08Oh, we're not done, we're not done
14:20Uh, your friend said they were going to the next bar
14:22Okay, well, where'd they say they were going?
14:25They just said the next bar
14:27Okay, well, I was still working on my pizza
14:29Okay, well no one asked me to protect your pizza
14:32You shouldn't clear food right away when someone's like in the bathroom, they're probably coming back to eat the food
14:36What do you, what do you want?
14:38Just maybe you give me another slice or something
14:40You can get another drink, and then you can get a pizza ticket, that's how it works
14:44Okay, I don't want a drink, I want my pizza
14:46Okay, well, that's our policy, so I don't really know what to tell you
14:48You really shouldn't mock the customers
14:50You started it
14:51What if that's how my voice sounds all the time?
14:53Okay
14:54Hey
14:55Hi
14:56Hi
14:57You know, I was, uh, I was this close to saying something to save your pizza
15:01And then I chickened out
15:04Hindsight's always 20-20
15:06You really should have said something, I screamed at that perfect person
15:11I know, I know
15:12I'm sorry
15:13I'm not normally that fired up
15:15The pizza's really amazing, it's like the perfect pizza
15:18It's like pizza from home alone
15:20Perfect crust, perfect amount of cheese
15:22Thank you, thank you
15:23It's like everybody's always like, Deferro's is the best, you know
15:27But no, this, this is like, mamma mia, this, this, this is authentic pizza right here
15:33Yeah
15:34I own Deferro's
15:35Oh, that's you?
15:36You don't like that place? That's my place
15:38Oh, hey, come with me
15:40Absolutely
15:41Hi
15:42Stop
15:43How are you?
15:44Fine
15:45I noticed that you had some, uh, pizza tickets lying about
15:48Oh, yeah
15:49And I was wondering if we could maybe grab a few?
15:52Sure
15:53My friend here, she, uh, recently had a family tragedy
15:56Oh, man
15:57My family's died, is dead
15:59Yeah, and, and the only thing that could cheer her up is
16:02Oh, yeah, take them
16:03Okay, thank you
16:04Yeah, no worries
16:06Anyway, yes, I'm really sorry about your family
16:08You're really crazy
16:09Why?
16:10That was really crazy, you didn't know that guy
16:11Okay, but
16:12What if he is his hero killer and he's gonna kill us because we stole a ticket?
16:16I mean, them's in the breaks, right?
16:18Mm-hmm
16:19Um, I'm Zev, by the way
16:21Zeb?
16:22Zev, with a V
16:24Zeb, am I saying that right? With a B?
16:26No, you're not saying it right
16:27You're saying a B?
16:28You're a jerk
16:29It's like ecstasy
16:34Comes off the back, the scent's out of its roar
16:45But surely it's worse to leave
16:49And she hits like ecstasy
16:55Wow, thank you
16:58I liked the spin
16:59That was nice
17:00The spin
17:01The spin
17:08That's a chin
17:13There comes a great tragedy
17:25I'm sorry
17:35Wait, let me just see if my roommates are here
17:37You have roommates? I don't wanna like, wait them up
17:40Sarah?
17:43Jessica?
17:44Parker?
17:45Is anyone home?
17:49Wait, that was really funny, I thought that you had roommates
17:52Oh no, I do have roommates
17:54Their names are DJ, Stephanie
17:56Oh, okay
17:57Kimmy Gibbler
17:58Okay
17:59Uncle Jesse
18:00I don't want to see it
18:30I don't want to see it
18:31I don't want to see it
18:32I don't want to see it
18:33I don't want to see it
18:34I don't want to see it
18:35Oh my god
18:36I'm sorry
18:37Happy birthday to you
18:39Happy birthday to you
18:40Happy birthday to you
18:41Happy 29th birthday
18:44Dear Jessica
18:45I love you
18:47You do?
18:50Yeah
18:51A lot
18:52Like so fucking much
18:56I love you so much.
18:58I never dreamed of being loved by someone like you.
19:00I feel like you're better than my dreams.
19:02Aw.
19:06This might have melted.
19:08I'm gonna have it for lunch.
19:10I, uh, I scared a lady before you, actually.
19:12Really?
19:14Yeah, and then we made out.
19:16No!
19:18She was shocked, but
19:20I think Happy made out.
19:22No!
19:24Now remember, my man.
19:26No cheating.
19:28All right?
19:30I know it seems easy now, but it'll get you in the end.
19:32I promise.
19:33Trust me.
19:34Unless you're rich, then you can cheat all you want,
19:36but not before that.
19:37Yeah, let him cheat.
19:38He can cheat.
19:39Some of the most intelligent people cheat.
19:41This looks like Francis II.
19:42It does.
19:43Look at that.
19:44Why are you mortaring so much?
19:46I'm not mortaring a pestling.
19:47Or pestling?
19:48I don't know, because this is what you said to make it really...
19:50I know, but what are you even...
19:52That's too much.
19:53It's pepper and other pepper.
19:54That's too much.
19:55Bev.
19:56Yeah?
19:57Bev, honey.
19:58Could I trouble you to take off my sock?
20:00Your sock?
20:01Uh, yes, please.
20:03It would be an honor.
20:04Would you like a massage, too?
20:06Oh, I'd love a massage.
20:08Don't rip our socks off like that.
20:10It's so sexual.
20:11Oh, stop it.
20:12It's adorable.
20:13Look at him.
20:14I do great foot massages.
20:15He reminds me so much of my deceased husband, Henry.
20:18Oh, he was a terribly cruel man.
20:21But he, like, had that gap in his teeth.
20:24I could never get over it.
20:26Well, it's called a diastema.
20:27I looked it up recently, yeah.
20:28Oh, he never told me that.
20:30Careful, Zev.
20:31This is how the salmon women get you.
20:32Hold the glass, please.
20:33First it's the sock, and then it's a disorienting compliment,
20:35and then the next thing you know, you're picking your son up from Capoeira,
20:38and you haven't had sex in six months.
20:41Let's not pretend that you've ever picked up your kid from anywhere,
20:45anytime, anyhow.
20:46Thank you, Mommy.
20:47Hey, have you ever been tested for low tea?
20:49Have you ever been tested to see if you're a sociopath?
20:51Grandma is not a sociopath.
20:53When she hit that guy with the car, she felt really bad.
20:57Yeah, she also felt alive.
20:58And we are very good friends now.
21:00It's all good.
21:01We're calm.
21:02We're good.
21:03Yeah, you guys are, like, too close.
21:04It's weird.
21:05They don't want to be thinking about all this depressing stuff,
21:07do they, Grandma?
21:08You know, nobody wants to hear about this stuff here.
21:10These people are young.
21:11They're in love.
21:12They're having a good time.
21:13They don't want to hear about people who got hit by cars
21:16and won lawsuits and all this junk.
21:19It's like, come on.
21:20And they also don't want to hear about the fact that, like,
21:22a relationship can be passionate and connected and intense,
21:25and then the minute you bring a child into it,
21:27the connection is gone and it's crushed like a hothouse rose.
21:30No, no, no.
21:31I want to talk about children.
21:32I want to talk about things.
21:33That's crazy.
21:34I think Jess would make an amazing mother.
21:36Really?
21:37Yeah.
21:38Yeah, I have this vision of you surrounded by, I don't know,
21:40six, seven, eight kids.
21:42Six, seven, or eight kids?
21:44Are they my kids?
21:45Are those my kids?
21:46I would hope so, yeah.
21:47Oh, my God.
21:48That's really nice.
21:50I want to have kids with you.
21:51Yeah?
21:52Right, ma'am.
21:55Okay, okay.
21:56Honestly, you could stand to do some of the things.
21:59He rubbed grandma's feet.
22:01He sat and played cards with our son.
22:03Things that you actually...
22:04I talk to work.
22:05Well, you know what?
22:06I talk to work.
22:07Here's the thing.
22:08It takes a little effort to become a part of the family.
22:11I have been a part of this family for a long time.
22:13What the hell are you talking about?
22:14You know, there's also, it's good to have a little conflict.
22:17I'm not saying that it's a terrible thing because that's how you get closer.
22:20Then that means that you and I are really close, sweetheart.
22:24Aww.
22:25Aww.
22:32Wait, babe.
22:33Don't.
22:34That's my best pillow.
22:35No.
22:36No.
22:37I'm sorry.
22:38No, we can't let it in.
22:39There's too much pink.
22:40Jess, there's so much pink.
22:41It's like, I feel like a pink bouncer and I have to decide which pink is on the list.
22:46Yeah, but pink's so fabulous.
22:48I mean, think of Miss Piggy.
22:49She's like a sexy puppet.
22:51She has huge boobies.
22:52Okay, well, Miss Piggy may be sexy, but that pillow is not.
22:56Listen, baby, we'll get new cushions.
22:59Okay?
23:00Better cushions.
23:01Our cushions.
23:02It'll be like a metaphor for our life together.
23:05Yeah?
23:06Okay, let's see what else we can throw out.
23:16I love you right down to your bones.
23:19I love you too.
23:21I swear to God, you barely need to know how to type to write for Pitchfork.
23:26They don't want my reviews, yet they're gonna let some girl whose name is literally Holiday Blasphemy critique new metal music.
23:34Just keep sending them, babe.
23:36They're gonna want them.
23:37I mean, you're writing so complex and funny and smart.
23:39Whatever.
23:40You skim it, Jess.
23:41Even you skim it.
23:42I read everything that you send me.
23:44Yeah, and you say the same thing every time.
23:46Amazing.
23:47With all caps and three hearts.
23:50Babe.
23:51What's wrong?
23:52Are you mad at me?
23:54No.
23:55No, I'm not mad.
23:56I just...
23:57Listen, if we're gonna live together, you can't always ask for constant reassurance.
24:02Sometimes I'm just in a bad mood, you know?
24:04It's human.
24:05Well, in my house, we weren't allowed to be meaner to anyone else than we were to ourselves.
24:09What the fuck does that even mean?
24:11I don't know.
24:12It's something my mom used to say.
24:14Well, maybe you should look into this stuff.
24:16You know, maybe see a therapist.
24:18Because it's actually really selfish of you not to let go of this anxious attachment style.
24:23The thing about the current aesthetic is it's a regurgitation of a regurgitation.
24:28You know, the 90s were the 50s on speed, 2010s, 90s on ecstasy.
24:32It's like every time we move past a recession, we lean into this false American exceptionalism,
24:37and it's just exhausting.
24:39Did you see that piece that just came out where the writer used Lacanian theory of jouissance
24:44to deconstruct our current obsession with vaccines?
24:47Where'd you go to college with Lacanian? Do you keep mentioning them?
24:49Oh, did I not say I went to Har... Never mind.
24:51Whatever.
24:52Wait, no.
24:53You went to Harvard.
24:55Harvard girl here.
24:56I went to low-league Cornell.
24:58Okay.
24:59One of those is it.
25:01Have you ever seen, it reminds me, Vanderpump Rules?
25:06No, Jess.
25:08No one here has seen Vanderpump Rules.
25:12I swear, you dress as a fuck you to people sometimes, Jess.
25:15It's like you want to make them feel like idiots for looking at you.
25:18You don't want them to know that you're beautiful, or even me to know that you're beautiful.
25:23I think you think you can't compete with someone like Gigi Hadid, so you have to go in the total opposite direction.
25:30How do you know who Gigi Hadid is?
25:32Please, I know who Gigi Hadid is, okay?
25:35I know culture.
25:36It seeps in.
25:38Maybe I'm thinking of Bella Hadid.
25:40I don't know.
25:41The point is, the Hadid beautiful is only one kind of beautiful.
25:44Well, I like the dress.
25:47I think it's comfortable, so...
25:48Yeah, but you don't want people to know that you're your own kind of beautiful.
25:52I just like the dress.
25:58I...
26:00I...
26:01I don't believe it, Sally.
26:04After all this time, you're not human.
26:06I didn't want to tell you, Jason, but my name isn't Sally.
26:10It's 3017B, and I'm a machine who loves you.
26:16Did he just wrap our Brita in foil?
26:19What?
26:20He stole our Brita.
26:21How long has this been true?
26:23As long as I've been sentient.
26:25Get your shit together, Christopher.
26:26I was near the real factory you worked in before it shut down.
26:28They said no flash photography.
26:31What did you do?
26:32Kick us out?
26:33They're fucking seventh graders.
26:34Well, it's...
26:35Oh, God.
26:36Shut the fuck up.
26:37I'm watching art.
26:39Oh.
26:40Oh, my.
26:41I haven't seen a play this good since Death of a Sail.
26:44Hey, guys.
26:45We'll be a whisper.
26:46Well, now you're being loud.
26:47You're being loud.
26:48You're being loud.
26:49You're being loud.
26:50You're being loud.
26:51You guys don't even want to just talk out loud in the middle of a...
26:53Whisper Mom!
26:54that lead guy was good yeah william h macy vibes you know strong character actor who makes
27:12interesting choices he was really incredible the girl isabel oh my god what an ingenue
27:18the glow that disguises her inner pain what it made me really happy okay but also kind of sad i guess
27:29why i don't know i mean they're in middle school and yet they're having more invigorating creative
27:37experiences than us we have so much to say and we're just like at home ordering thai food and
27:43like rotting on the couch in our sweatpants we i write every night while you're watching the real
27:50housewomen of north carolina or whatever i'm working on my book yeah but you never show it to anyone
27:56yeah because i don't write for other people i mean that's the thing you seem to think that
28:02you can only be creative in front of people
28:05it's like just for show you know it's the same way you want us to be
28:11like this power couple just so shiny well not everyone has to be shiny you know it's actually
28:20offensive to all the real artists in this world for us to think that we could just snap our fingers
28:25and be like them you're good at what you do jess you make it possible for other artists to make a
28:32living embrace your role let me embrace mine oh my god we have to go look no no no no it's it's too
28:44dangerous we must though we must oh my god oh my god oh my god
28:51that's okay hi
28:53okay we're definitely not getting this one
28:56you're a muppet you're a full muppet uh is this really what you want yeah please please look
29:05you're so cute you're a baby
29:09well how could i say no to those eyes you look like a precious moment style
29:16can we see this one
29:18treats should be reserved for the moment your dog doesn't think praiseworthy
29:24but everything you do is praiseworthy you are a magic girl
29:29i always want to give you treats because you're the best girl in the world
29:34i don't want you to sleep in the crate i want you to sleep in the bed
29:48what are we going to do for dinner tonight i mean we could do like i don't know tacos but i
30:02don't want to do the walking tacos again okay it's hard to make those at home it just feels like
30:06gross i say pasta but we only have variety hey hey hey hey hey what the fuck is wrong with you
30:14uh i'm sorry um i think the dogs were saying hi you really can't be walking around in a peaceful
30:20neighborhood with such a violent dog i think that uh she's fine there's nothing she's done nothing
30:25wrong i mean she's a little overwhelmed yeah maybe you're making it worse well when i get overwhelmed
30:30i take a xanax okay i don't assault a neighbor okay pill popper okay all right i mean only a pill
30:36popper sometimes a dog will smell another dog's ass and not like the smell it's science well i can smell
30:40your ass and it stinks cunt come on oh my god oh my god what the fuck jess that was fucking awful
30:50i know she just called me a cunt that was so scary you promised you train her i mean can you imagine
30:55the kind of shit we'd be in if she bit somebody but she didn't bite anyone you're like a child you
31:00you want the things so bad but aren't actually willing to put in the work i mean can you imagine
31:04if we had a baby right now we don't have a baby right now okay i can't do this right now i feel
31:10very fucking anxious baby come on i'll get a trainer i'm sorry okay we'll get a bunch of trainers
31:16we'll go to classes i she makes me so happy yeah but don't you want me to be happy she called me a
31:23cunt whatever i don't know the politics when it's two girls i mean my mom calls her friends cunts all
31:27the time ah get rid of the dog
31:42how is he don't know find him turn around send him back
31:45take out the bimsuit get a castle around to fallout get more than havers on the lower tower that
31:50chooses ronald blind q's is on hospital hospital acklin's on his way to hospital christ knows where
31:55it uses big harley war yeah i don't want to hear about that richard richard can never do that
32:03now fast
32:14you're just socially gifted and taking pity on me i grew up in des moines which is a city
32:20technically but is absolutely not at all des moines meet watertown massachusetts oh
32:26shit um anyway i was just so obsessed with watching these videos it was like this map to the future
32:33like new york city i'd never seen somebody so unabashedly weird and passionate nerdy what no there's no such
32:41thing as nerds that's uh no there's a difference what no that's like an insult that idiots came
32:48up with to make fun of people who care about things damn never would have pegged you for a
32:54nard war girl maybe you shouldn't try pegging people so soon after meeting them
33:08oh wow what's with the glasses when did you get like a supreme hoodie
33:37fuck jess i've got a meeting with my editor right now and you want to make me feel like a total
33:43douche no i just want to know when you got a full new outfit courtesy of ice magazine 2010.
33:49people are allowed to change that's what good relationships do you know they allow your
33:54partner the grace to grow i didn't complain when you stopped shaving your bush hey i didn't stop i'm
34:01just taking a break okay also i mean i want you to change i just i'm having a really hard time
34:11and you feel really distant you're always having a really hard time yeah i mean ever since we gave
34:16the dog the dog yeah and it's it's like if it's not the dog it's a fight with leah and if it's not
34:23leah it's your sister and if it's not your sister it's uh work there's some catastrophe that makes you
34:28disassociate so you buy stuff on new bed yeah like i got a problem it's like it's sort of an addiction
34:48and i need you to teach me a lesson i still don't know hi oh hey uh jess hey wendy wendy this is uh
34:57my girlfriend jess oh my god hi so nice to meet you i think we met at um jose's party you were
35:02wearing like a scarf dress oh my god yes nice to see you sorry nice to see you too i love your outfit
35:07i like that you could see your bra through your shirt and it's fun it's crazy actually uh wendy just
35:12moved right over there on amity street what ah that is crazy that's surprising new to the
35:18neighborhood yeah welcome yeah i was just buying crickets for my lizard and i saw this man so oh
35:23she has a bearded dragon yeah chantilly she's my baby well if you don't get arrested for having an
35:28exotic animal actually it's legal um but yeah it was a rescue so crazy the lizards are so creepy their
35:36scales are always wet you know why are they always wet i don't walk around all slick and slimy i mean
35:41they're scales so it's like kind of the nature of scales but yeah they're not for everyone anyway
35:48um yeah i just saw this guy looking like a lost little six-year-old what yeah i wanted to find
35:54the manager to page your mom on the intercom okay excuse you are you his mom because looks like you
35:58found him you gotta do something about this these shorts are like they're giving like basketball p.e
36:05middle school i don't know what are you talking about i mean fine you gotta do something about it
36:11oh okay all right well it was nice to meet you
36:28hey baby thank you oh well this is mine i didn't know you wanted one
36:35i think there's a little bit left in the french press oh i'm not a mind reader you know
36:44okay
36:54hey for me yeah it's um it's an oat milk latte you've been you've been on your feet all day so i thought
37:03it's like um it's like um it's like who does stuff for the people that do stuff
37:09thank you casey yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah hey man i was raised by women um
37:19my my mom and and sister are really important to me they're both nurses
37:24they do it they do it all you know you okay yeah yeah it's just really really nice to have a guy like
37:37you do something like this for a girl like me yeah yeah sound like i'm in a movie yeah right
37:43yeah me too and we're in new york too it's like so uh so fitting because we're um do you want to
37:52like go get a drink or something
37:58music music
38:13i'm in i'm in this i'm in new york city too
38:17oh my god oh my god oh my god oh it's so cool
38:24you just have one
38:27i like you a lot do you have um do you have a rubber
38:31wait what like a condom yeah like it's 1950 why are you saying rubber are we in like breeze two
38:36now just pull out no it's a myth no it's not a myth how many pull-out babies have you met
38:43i'm a pull-out baby yeah yeah my dad put in my mom for like like three seconds and then uh
38:52okay don't tell people that don't tell people that
38:57okay you don't tell people that i think i love you okay let's just we're kidding you're kidding
39:01i'm kidding yeah i'm kidding thanks for a latte yeah yeah dude i got i got lattes all day
39:07okay maybe okay we'll just talk later for just okay okay
39:31because you have to know it's going to change your life like
39:34like really change it and you're you're not going to sleep through the night ever again
39:42and and you can't do drugs and you can't go on weekends with people you barely know
39:51and and you're really gonna have to lean on zev like really trust him you're gonna have to be on
39:57the same page on the same sentence on the same word on the same letter even and you know it's not
40:04just it's not just you know fun times at the park and bubble baths it's actually it's a it's a lot
40:10of work it's it's kids constantly asking you what they're going to eat next and telling you how bored
40:16they are and you know you're just there's just feces literally everywhere
40:28you're just gonna hang out in the dark then super
40:37i think that um i think that we should talk
40:44because i i don't think that it's working out the way that we want it to
41:03the way that we want it to i knew it what
41:10i knew i'd be spending hanukkah alone
41:15well do you used to love me at all
41:18i don't know
41:28okay well um i'm pregnant so i guess i'll go get an abortion or something if you don't
41:35get an abortion or something if you don't get an abortion or something if you don't get an abortion
41:40yeah that's probably the right idea
41:45god
41:47you make me feel fucking crazy
41:51like i'm just like drowning in an ocean waving my arms around for help and you're just
41:58standing there smiling at me
41:59like you don't even know what's going on you don't even see how lonely you've made me feel
42:08you're like one of those guys who thinks that he wants a strong woman who loves all the bright
42:13big things about her but you fucking don't
42:20i used to feel so special about me and i really don't
42:29you just want to beat me into submission maybe not with your fists but with your words and your lack of love
42:40it just feels like a bunch of little paper cuts but imagine your whole body covered in paper cuts
42:50you know you're really really good at turning everything into a sob story
42:54i mean this whole time we've been together and you're just saying this now
43:02if this is how you felt then why don't you just end it huh why couldn't you just
43:08be brave and end it and have the decency to give me to someone who fucking wanted me
43:14but instead you waited around for what for what for for you to love me like you did when it started
43:21i don't know maybe you do feel alone because of me
43:28or maybe it's
43:31because at the root of it all
43:34you really are just a fucking cunt
43:41when someone tells me they're from massachusetts now i always ask what
43:47you're going to be a good boy
43:50i wonder if you kept the pilgrim ashtray if it's still propped up on your bar card
43:59oh it's okay it's okay
44:02here we go now i need you to count backwards from ten for me all right jessica
44:09uh
44:28in my gut that i've chased ever since you set the part you're gonna stick
44:39Oh, hey. Hey, it's okay. Jessica, lie back. You did just fine. Everything went perfectly
44:51well. No, wait, wait. I need to go get my dog, though. I need to go get Cutesy. Please.
44:59I don't know where she is. She doesn't even know where I am.
45:02Just let it all go. She doesn't know where I am.
45:09Mom, why are we moving her in an ice cream truck? Honey, it's not an ice cream truck. It's
45:38a taco truck, and Raul gave it to us for free. Love this part.
45:45It used to be so easy living here with you. You were light and breezy, and I knew just
45:54what to do. Now you look so unhappy, and I feel like a fool. And it's too late, baby, now
46:01it's too late. Though we really did try to make it. Something inside has died, and I can't
46:06hide, and I just can't fake it. Oh, no, no.
46:13Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
46:20Stop. Stop. Diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle. You always want me to stop singing,
46:22honey, but this is the way I'm making the moment more tolerable, and we will make a memory out
46:28of this. Yeah, a memory of you crashing a taco truck. Mom, stop. Under 10 pounds? We do
46:35have one. No applications yet. Raul was 90. Slipped in the bath and died. Took over a week
46:40to find her. She's a little traumatized.
46:43That's okay. So am I. Oh my god, she's so beautiful. She's perfect. Hi, mama. You are
46:5090 slipped in the bath and died took over a week to find her she's a little traumatized
47:01that's okay so am i oh my god she's so beautiful
47:09hi mama oh you are naked you need jeans you need a pair of jeans and a shirt
47:20i don't want no one else i'd like you for myself
47:36hey um just let me know if you don't want him here because i will handle it okay
47:42i don't know what's happening
47:45you don't even want to know mate hey what's happened were you watching
47:50the oc again just just have some wagamama put you right cool thanks man all right okay shout if you
47:58need me sorry
48:07hi
48:08why did you leave because you were all coked out and you started to ignore me and i thought you could
48:21play that game so then i took a bunch of ketamine from poly three and then it was like too much at
48:29once and then poly one story looking like a cat okay
48:39you thought i was on coke yeah why did you run away because i was stressed out about the gig
48:48and i had diarrhea
48:54really
48:59i didn't think about that don't don't think about it it's not a good image
49:06i'm so happy that you had diarrhea i thought you didn't want to be around me or something because
49:12your friends are so cool they're not cool that's why you're crying because you thought i'd taken cocaine
49:22ignoring you no
49:31i found the whole thing kind of embarrassing to be honest with you
49:33you're such a good singer i feel like i'm in a wedding band or something
49:45a wedding between a pig and a goat and their parents don't approve but despite their cultural
49:51differences they're in love okay what are you so like alive
50:07it's all going on thanks
50:10i don't want to say anything to you that i've said to other people before
50:19um but like i've been thinking about it a lot and i feel like it's actually getting scarier not saying
50:25it and i just want you to know that i really love you and um i wish there was like a new way to say
50:35it like i wish there was like other words but i do
50:47yeah i don't know how to say it back sorry
50:55um i just have like a
51:01yeah like i have difficulty with that word so yeah
51:05but like i have obviously like a lot of feelings
51:09and like if i if i knew how to say it i would say it sure
51:17yeah it's okay
51:20it's not i just i probably am like like weird from the drugs
51:26you want like a tea or something yeah thanks that's nice
51:33canon's like quite dehydrating
51:35you're okay yeah i'm okay thanks for yeah i probably shouldn't have said anything
51:47all right
51:51one tea coming up not too hot yeah
51:59i can be your dream woman
52:11i can be your dream woman
52:16one tea
52:25one
52:27one
52:28one
52:29one
52:30one
52:35one
52:37one
52:38I feel to you, I feel to you
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