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00:00Namaste
00:02Namaste
00:04I've done things in the past which I'm not so proud of
00:08mingling with some girls in a sexual way
00:12and regretting it later
00:14such things can be taken back
00:16and living with it knowing that the sexual energy
00:20has affected me in subtle ways
00:22which I can very much feel
00:24I don't know how to remove this sexual memory from my body
00:28I tried searching online how to get rid of
00:32this memory
00:34and my mind is occupied with it
00:36and so is my body
00:38I believe
00:40I want to get rid of these essence
00:42that I have picked up
00:44I'm aware of the changes in my body
00:46and all I want to do is get rid of it
00:48But what is sexual memory?
00:52What do you mean by that?
00:54Like fragrances
00:56and the very subtle changes that I feel
01:00that have changed ever since then
01:02Okay
01:04See
01:06it requires you
01:10to
01:12be occupied
01:16in the same
01:18kind of patterns as before
01:20Right?
01:24If you live the same life as you were living
01:28hitherto
01:30If you visit the same places
01:32If you eat at the same places
01:36Then obviously
01:38all those things will return as nostalgia to you
01:42you
01:44You cannot be
01:46living
01:48the same kind of life
01:50and
01:52yet hope
01:54to not notice
01:56a missing part
01:58of that life
02:00that life
02:02Sexual
02:04Activity
02:06or relationships
02:08are not something that happen in
02:10vacuum
02:12Hmm?
02:14So you had a set of friends
02:16You also had a
02:18You had particular sartorial preferences
02:22You also were spending time
02:24doing something
02:26like
02:27Okay fine
02:28watching football
02:29watching movies
02:30visiting this place
02:31doing
02:32this particular thing
02:34And in the middle of all this
02:38and arising from all this
02:40and intermeshed with all this
02:42was the sexual aspect of life
02:45Right?
02:46Now that sexual aspect might have proven
02:51to bring sorrow to you
02:53so you want to get rid of it
02:55Something happens
02:56You know
02:57in these things
02:58there is a degree of fragility always present
03:00so you now want to put it away
03:02But you want to keep everything else intact
03:06That's not going to happen
03:07If everything else remains the same way it was
03:12then this part of life
03:14two will cry to remain the same
03:17as it was
03:22You cannot say
03:23You know
03:26I am still a lover of pizza
03:31But I don't like cheese anymore
03:35Every time they will serve you the pizza
03:37you will be reminded of cheese
03:41Fine, cheese might still be dispensable
03:43But you cannot say
03:45I am a lover of pizza
03:46I continue to be a lover of pizza
03:48But I don't
03:50want the bread anymore
03:52Every time they will serve you pizza
03:55sans bread
03:57you will clamor for bread
04:03If you want to
04:05change something in life
04:07really change something
04:08really change something
04:11You must change the centre itself
04:14Otherwise you are just inviting
04:20a sense of being torn
04:23You visit the same club as you
04:28as you used to
04:31The moment you reach there
04:33The moment you reach there
04:35they will say
04:36Well sir, where is your partner?
04:39Stag entry not allowed
04:41And the moment they will point
04:43at that
04:45you will be reminded of something
04:48and you will start missing something
04:49Are you getting it?
04:52Are you getting it?
04:53And you will not be able to stand
04:55that loneliness for long
04:56Are you getting it?
04:57And you will not be able to stand
04:59that loneliness for long
05:01If you want to save your other patterns
05:07you will be forced to bring in
05:11the missing part of the pattern as well
05:17You cannot say I want to drive the same car
05:21but without one of the wheels
05:25If you insist that you will ride the same car
05:30you will have to bring back the wheel
05:32maybe of a different brand
05:34maybe from a different manufacturer
05:36maybe with
05:38some other
05:40stripes and grooves and cuts
05:45maybe alloy wheels this time
05:48maybe something else
05:50but the replacement would have to be found
05:54and that's no good
05:56Essentially you have
05:58restored the status quo
06:02If the wheel has tormented you so much
06:05or if you have been able to see
06:10the futility of wheeling around
06:13you will need to
06:15maybe change the vehicle itself
06:21Are you please getting it?
06:23We tend to look at problems
06:26in fragments
06:28We think relationship with one particular person
06:33is one particular problem
06:34No
06:38Any particular problem
06:40is always related to all the other problems
06:43that you have
06:45that applies to a person
06:47that applies to humanity as a whole
06:51But we do not want to disrupt the other problems
06:54because every problem to us
06:57is a pleasure giving pattern
07:00until it shows up
07:03for what it really is
07:05Huh?
07:07So we remain enmeshed in problems
07:09and at one point in time
07:11only one of the pattern appears as a problem
07:15the other patterns appear as pleasures
07:18so we don't want to disrupt them
07:21only the one particular pattern
07:24that has revealed itself as a problem
07:26we want to do something about it
07:29you cannot do anything about it
07:31not possible
07:34all these problems are related to each other
07:38and lucky are those
07:41whose problems all together show up
07:45all at once
07:47unfortunately that does not happen with us
07:49we are not
07:52lucky enough
07:56to be attacked by all problems together
07:59in our life problems come one at a time
08:02so we feel now at this moment
08:06there is only this particular problem
08:09and the other factors in life
08:11the other things, other objects in life
08:13they are alright
08:14in fact they are rather sources of pleasure
08:15in fact they are the bulwarks
08:19helping me to face this particular problem
08:23so I have five friends
08:26one of whom has turned into a problem lately
08:31who are the other four?
08:33these four, the other four are the one supporting me in facing the problem
08:40these five together are not the problem
08:46one of them is a problem
08:49and the other four
08:51are my support
08:53even as I face the problem
08:55so you will cling even more to the other four
08:58the fact is
09:00the five of them together are one thing
09:03these five are not distinct at all
09:07they are five manifestations
09:12of the same thing
09:14what is that same thing?
09:16that same thing is called your choice
09:19because you are the one who chose all five of them
09:22each of them
09:25is an exhibition of your choice
09:27and therefore each of them is problematic
09:31because your choice is problematic
09:33what is choice?
09:34consciousness
09:35when one's consciousness is not
09:38elevated enough
09:39or pure enough
09:40or sharp enough
09:42then that lack of sharpness
09:44is displayed
09:46in hazy
09:48and harmful choices
09:50the one who is making a harmful choice
09:53will make harmful choices
09:55in all matters
09:57or will he make a harmful choice only in one particular matter?
10:02I am asking
10:04please, please think of it
10:06if I do not know how to choose
10:08I will not be choosing a pair of shoes wisely
10:11I will also not be choosing a handkerchief wisely
10:14I will also not be choosing a job wisely
10:17if I do not know how to drive
10:20does it matter whether I drive to the left or to the right?
10:22to the left or to the right?
10:24if I drive to the left I will be colliding
10:27if I will drive to the right
10:29I will again be banging into somebody
10:32because
10:34right or left
10:36it's me at the centre
10:38at the wheel
10:40but I think that probably I got
10:44hit only when I was driving to the left
10:48left
10:50therefore it is the left direction that's inauspicious
10:53let me avoid left and drive only to the right
10:56as if only one segment of life is a problem
11:02no, the segment of life is not the problem
11:04the centre of life is the problem
11:06that's why
11:12books like Gita help
11:14they challenge the very centre of life
11:25well, in that case, how do I get rid of
11:30like you gave an example of a pizza
11:33how do I, what about the good things in it?
11:36like some vegetables
11:38like I can't just get rid of that, right?
11:41I might have to replace it
11:42the good things there
11:46serve as convenient excuses for all the bad things
11:52good things are always needed
11:57so that we can sustain the bad things
12:00truth is always needed so that we can cover up the lies
12:04and cover up the lies
12:08honesty is always needed
12:10so that we can be
12:12conveniently dishonest
12:14absolute dishonesty would absolutely fall
12:19an absolute lie cannot stand
12:24therefore
12:26some kind of seasoning
12:28of the truth is needed
12:29what is needed
12:34remember
12:36that
12:37goodness
12:38moderated
12:40is just a cover up
12:43for wickedness
12:47if you really want good things
12:50do not take them
12:51take them
12:52through a pizza
12:55good things
12:57are their own justification
12:59take them for what they are
13:01you cannot take them as dressings or toppings
13:05upon a pizza
13:08good things must not be ordered
13:12to tail behind bad things
13:15good things
13:17good things should not be used
13:19as a cover up
13:21as a foil
13:23for bad things
13:25if good things are really good
13:29respect them
13:31for their own self
13:34if there are olives there or something
13:42why not
13:44why not just
13:46consume
13:48olives
13:50why do you need to have a pizza for the
13:53sake of olives
13:58I have nothing against pizzas
13:59huh
14:00so
14:01just because the example is stretching too far
14:04I hope we are
14:06we are not taking this as some kind of
14:08judgment on
14:10pizza itself
14:12I love pizzas
14:16you think there's a
14:19way to
14:21rise beyond
14:23that in a most effective way
14:25although
14:26I do realize as you said
14:27that the problem
14:28I could blame it on my situations and circumstances
14:31but it arise
14:32really just in me
14:34but
14:36how do I change myself
14:38by seeing what you are doing
14:42the action
14:44that brings sorrow
14:46must become
14:48the gateway to the actor
14:53ideally every action
14:55should enable you to look at the actor
14:56but
14:59if the action begets pleasure
15:01you do not want to look at the actor
15:02no
15:04so when the action
15:06results in sorrow
15:08it's an opportune time
15:10to look at the actor
15:11because the actor now
15:13is himself saying
15:14come on
15:15heal me
15:16come on
15:17help me
15:18give me
15:19some remedy
15:20so this is
15:21the right time to go to the actor
15:22and see you know
15:23you
15:24where have you been hurt
15:25what happened really
15:27see how you made those choices
15:29and
15:30see that those choices
15:31are still continuously being made
15:34that will help you avert
15:36further sorrow
15:38rather further disasters
15:41the center from which
15:44we made one bad choice
15:47is still active
15:49and is still choosing on our behalf
15:52which means
15:54more sorrow
15:55is just round the corner
15:57that will also help you get rid
16:02of all the nostalgia
16:03and the memory
16:04and such things
16:06should I remember the road accident
16:09I had six months back
16:11or should I focus on averting
16:14the one waiting to happen six seconds later
16:17later
16:22I am rushing into a road roller
16:28should I focus on that
16:30or should I remain
16:32occupied thinking
16:34of the bad accident
16:35I had six months back
16:37200 meters ahead of me
16:42is that road roller
16:44and I am going to collide headlong
16:49when you see
16:51that the real tragedy
16:53is not what happened in the future
16:55but what is going to happen just now
16:58not what happened in the past
17:01but what is going to happen just now
17:04then there remains no incentive
17:07to keep clinging to the past
17:08when you are thinking of all the sorrow of the past
17:15you have a very solid assumption
17:19the assumption is
17:21that sorrow lies in the past
17:23and therefore you are looking at the past
17:27and asking you know how do I get rid of it
17:29how do I heal it
17:31what if you come to learn that sorrow lies not so much in the past
17:34in the past
17:36but in the immediate present
17:38that you are going to collide with that road roller
17:42right now
17:44would you still want to remember what happened 10 years back
17:46all the nostalgia and all the memory
17:49and all those things will just vanish
17:50and all those things will just vanish
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