I have Had Sex with Many Women. How to Forget All That? || Acharya Prashant (2024)

Acharya Prashant

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00:00Namaste

00:02Namaste

00:04I've done things in the past which I'm not so proud of

00:08mingling with some girls in a sexual way

00:12and regretting it later

00:14such things can be taken back

00:16and living with it knowing that the sexual energy

00:20has affected me in subtle ways

00:22which I can very much feel

00:24I don't know how to remove this sexual memory from my body

00:28I tried searching online how to get rid of

00:32this memory

00:34and my mind is occupied with it

00:36and so is my body

00:38I believe

00:40I want to get rid of these essence

00:42that I have picked up

00:44I'm aware of the changes in my body

00:46and all I want to do is get rid of it

00:48But what is sexual memory?

00:52What do you mean by that?

00:54Like fragrances

00:56and the very subtle changes that I feel

01:00that have changed ever since then

01:02Okay

01:04See

01:06it requires you

01:10to

01:12be occupied

01:16in the same

01:18kind of patterns as before

01:20Right?

01:24If you live the same life as you were living

01:28hitherto

01:30If you visit the same places

01:32If you eat at the same places

01:36Then obviously

01:38all those things will return as nostalgia to you

01:42you

01:44You cannot be

01:46living

01:48the same kind of life

01:50and

01:52yet hope

01:54to not notice

01:56a missing part

01:58of that life

02:00that life

02:02Sexual

02:04Activity

02:06or relationships

02:08are not something that happen in

02:10vacuum

02:12Hmm?

02:14So you had a set of friends

02:16You also had a

02:18You had particular sartorial preferences

02:22You also were spending time

02:24doing something

02:26like

02:27Okay fine

02:28watching football

02:29watching movies

02:30visiting this place

02:31doing

02:32this particular thing

02:34And in the middle of all this

02:38and arising from all this

02:40and intermeshed with all this

02:42was the sexual aspect of life

02:45Right?

02:46Now that sexual aspect might have proven

02:51to bring sorrow to you

02:53so you want to get rid of it

02:55Something happens

02:56You know

02:57in these things

02:58there is a degree of fragility always present

03:00so you now want to put it away

03:02But you want to keep everything else intact

03:06That's not going to happen

03:07If everything else remains the same way it was

03:12then this part of life

03:14two will cry to remain the same

03:17as it was

03:22You cannot say

03:23You know

03:26I am still a lover of pizza

03:31But I don't like cheese anymore

03:35Every time they will serve you the pizza

03:37you will be reminded of cheese

03:41Fine, cheese might still be dispensable

03:43But you cannot say

03:45I am a lover of pizza

03:46I continue to be a lover of pizza

03:48But I don't

03:50want the bread anymore

03:52Every time they will serve you pizza

03:55sans bread

03:57you will clamor for bread

04:03If you want to

04:05change something in life

04:07really change something

04:08really change something

04:11You must change the centre itself

04:14Otherwise you are just inviting

04:20a sense of being torn

04:23You visit the same club as you

04:28as you used to

04:31The moment you reach there

04:33The moment you reach there

04:35they will say

04:36Well sir, where is your partner?

04:39Stag entry not allowed

04:41And the moment they will point

04:43at that

04:45you will be reminded of something

04:48and you will start missing something

04:49Are you getting it?

04:52Are you getting it?

04:53And you will not be able to stand

04:55that loneliness for long

04:56Are you getting it?

04:57And you will not be able to stand

04:59that loneliness for long

05:01If you want to save your other patterns

05:07you will be forced to bring in

05:11the missing part of the pattern as well

05:17You cannot say I want to drive the same car

05:21but without one of the wheels

05:25If you insist that you will ride the same car

05:30you will have to bring back the wheel

05:32maybe of a different brand

05:34maybe from a different manufacturer

05:36maybe with

05:38some other

05:40stripes and grooves and cuts

05:45maybe alloy wheels this time

05:48maybe something else

05:50but the replacement would have to be found

05:54and that's no good

05:56Essentially you have

05:58restored the status quo

06:02If the wheel has tormented you so much

06:05or if you have been able to see

06:10the futility of wheeling around

06:13you will need to

06:15maybe change the vehicle itself

06:21Are you please getting it?

06:23We tend to look at problems

06:26in fragments

06:28We think relationship with one particular person

06:33is one particular problem

06:34No

06:38Any particular problem

06:40is always related to all the other problems

06:43that you have

06:45that applies to a person

06:47that applies to humanity as a whole

06:51But we do not want to disrupt the other problems

06:54because every problem to us

06:57is a pleasure giving pattern

07:00until it shows up

07:03for what it really is

07:05Huh?

07:07So we remain enmeshed in problems

07:09and at one point in time

07:11only one of the pattern appears as a problem

07:15the other patterns appear as pleasures

07:18so we don't want to disrupt them

07:21only the one particular pattern

07:24that has revealed itself as a problem

07:26we want to do something about it

07:29you cannot do anything about it

07:31not possible

07:34all these problems are related to each other

07:38and lucky are those

07:41whose problems all together show up

07:45all at once

07:47unfortunately that does not happen with us

07:49we are not

07:52lucky enough

07:56to be attacked by all problems together

07:59in our life problems come one at a time

08:02so we feel now at this moment

08:06there is only this particular problem

08:09and the other factors in life

08:11the other things, other objects in life

08:13they are alright

08:14in fact they are rather sources of pleasure

08:15in fact they are the bulwarks

08:19helping me to face this particular problem

08:23so I have five friends

08:26one of whom has turned into a problem lately

08:31who are the other four?

08:33these four, the other four are the one supporting me in facing the problem

08:40these five together are not the problem

08:46one of them is a problem

08:49and the other four

08:51are my support

08:53even as I face the problem

08:55so you will cling even more to the other four

08:58the fact is

09:00the five of them together are one thing

09:03these five are not distinct at all

09:07they are five manifestations

09:12of the same thing

09:14what is that same thing?

09:16that same thing is called your choice

09:19because you are the one who chose all five of them

09:22each of them

09:25is an exhibition of your choice

09:27and therefore each of them is problematic

09:31because your choice is problematic

09:33what is choice?

09:34consciousness

09:35when one's consciousness is not

09:38elevated enough

09:39or pure enough

09:40or sharp enough

09:42then that lack of sharpness

09:44is displayed

09:46in hazy

09:48and harmful choices

09:50the one who is making a harmful choice

09:53will make harmful choices

09:55in all matters

09:57or will he make a harmful choice only in one particular matter?

10:02I am asking

10:04please, please think of it

10:06if I do not know how to choose

10:08I will not be choosing a pair of shoes wisely

10:11I will also not be choosing a handkerchief wisely

10:14I will also not be choosing a job wisely

10:17if I do not know how to drive

10:20does it matter whether I drive to the left or to the right?

10:22to the left or to the right?

10:24if I drive to the left I will be colliding

10:27if I will drive to the right

10:29I will again be banging into somebody

10:32because

10:34right or left

10:36it's me at the centre

10:38at the wheel

10:40but I think that probably I got

10:44hit only when I was driving to the left

10:48left

10:50therefore it is the left direction that's inauspicious

10:53let me avoid left and drive only to the right

10:56as if only one segment of life is a problem

11:02no, the segment of life is not the problem

11:04the centre of life is the problem

11:06that's why

11:12books like Gita help

11:14they challenge the very centre of life

11:25well, in that case, how do I get rid of

11:30like you gave an example of a pizza

11:33how do I, what about the good things in it?

11:36like some vegetables

11:38like I can't just get rid of that, right?

11:41I might have to replace it

11:42the good things there

11:46serve as convenient excuses for all the bad things

11:52good things are always needed

11:57so that we can sustain the bad things

12:00truth is always needed so that we can cover up the lies

12:04and cover up the lies

12:08honesty is always needed

12:10so that we can be

12:12conveniently dishonest

12:14absolute dishonesty would absolutely fall

12:19an absolute lie cannot stand

12:24therefore

12:26some kind of seasoning

12:28of the truth is needed

12:29what is needed

12:34remember

12:36that

12:37goodness

12:38moderated

12:40is just a cover up

12:43for wickedness

12:47if you really want good things

12:50do not take them

12:51take them

12:52through a pizza

12:55good things

12:57are their own justification

12:59take them for what they are

13:01you cannot take them as dressings or toppings

13:05upon a pizza

13:08good things must not be ordered

13:12to tail behind bad things

13:15good things

13:17good things should not be used

13:19as a cover up

13:21as a foil

13:23for bad things

13:25if good things are really good

13:29respect them

13:31for their own self

13:34if there are olives there or something

13:42why not

13:44why not just

13:46consume

13:48olives

13:50why do you need to have a pizza for the

13:53sake of olives

13:58I have nothing against pizzas

13:59huh

14:00so

14:01just because the example is stretching too far

14:04I hope we are

14:06we are not taking this as some kind of

14:08judgment on

14:10pizza itself

14:12I love pizzas

14:16you think there's a

14:19way to

14:21rise beyond

14:23that in a most effective way

14:25although

14:26I do realize as you said

14:27that the problem

14:28I could blame it on my situations and circumstances

14:31but it arise

14:32really just in me

14:34but

14:36how do I change myself

14:38by seeing what you are doing

14:42the action

14:44that brings sorrow

14:46must become

14:48the gateway to the actor

14:53ideally every action

14:55should enable you to look at the actor

14:56but

14:59if the action begets pleasure

15:01you do not want to look at the actor

15:02no

15:04so when the action

15:06results in sorrow

15:08it's an opportune time

15:10to look at the actor

15:11because the actor now

15:13is himself saying

15:14come on

15:15heal me

15:16come on

15:17help me

15:18give me

15:19some remedy

15:20so this is

15:21the right time to go to the actor

15:22and see you know

15:23you

15:24where have you been hurt

15:25what happened really

15:27see how you made those choices

15:29and

15:30see that those choices

15:31are still continuously being made

15:34that will help you avert

15:36further sorrow

15:38rather further disasters

15:41the center from which

15:44we made one bad choice

15:47is still active

15:49and is still choosing on our behalf

15:52which means

15:54more sorrow

15:55is just round the corner

15:57that will also help you get rid

16:02of all the nostalgia

16:03and the memory

16:04and such things

16:06should I remember the road accident

16:09I had six months back

16:11or should I focus on averting

16:14the one waiting to happen six seconds later

16:17later

16:22I am rushing into a road roller

16:28should I focus on that

16:30or should I remain

16:32occupied thinking

16:34of the bad accident

16:35I had six months back

16:37200 meters ahead of me

16:42is that road roller

16:44and I am going to collide headlong

16:49when you see

16:51that the real tragedy

16:53is not what happened in the future

16:55but what is going to happen just now

16:58not what happened in the past

17:01but what is going to happen just now

17:04then there remains no incentive

17:07to keep clinging to the past

17:08when you are thinking of all the sorrow of the past

17:15you have a very solid assumption

17:19the assumption is

17:21that sorrow lies in the past

17:23and therefore you are looking at the past

17:27and asking you know how do I get rid of it

17:29how do I heal it

17:31what if you come to learn that sorrow lies not so much in the past

17:34in the past

17:36but in the immediate present

17:38that you are going to collide with that road roller

17:42right now

17:44would you still want to remember what happened 10 years back

17:46all the nostalgia and all the memory

17:49and all those things will just vanish

17:50and all those things will just vanish

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