- 7/14/2025
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00:00the clearing various aspects i'm very very thankful to you uh in a very simple
00:08way so that we can also understand you are welcome my question is basically
00:14why uh these wrong why how the thoughts are inter how the wrong relationships and the
00:25thoughts are interdependent basically in what manner thoughts act uh in choosing uh not
00:34the right person i think i have made you clear or should i speak something it's clear thank
00:43you see we'll proceed from thoughts serve to secure the master right
00:55here i am i am the master my thoughts exist to secure me me not in so much in the physical
01:06sense though also in the physical sense but more in the psychological sense
01:11thought is not autonomous thought has no sovereignty of its own thought is a dependent phenomena
01:23thought is tied to its center and that center is called the ego so i am the thinker and my
01:34thought will exist to save and secure me in the psychological sense so there is the ego and
01:43thought exists so that the ego remains as it is i think a lot but i will think in a way irrespective
01:57of how much i am thinking that does not cause me to fundamentally change myself
02:05i might think continuously i might think intensely but just the fact of thinking will not change the
02:18thinker irrespective of how much the thinker thinks thinking will not change the thinker
02:28what changes the thinker is something very different that's observation of thought
02:33if you can see the thinker thinking thought that entire triad if you can see the thinker thinking
02:44the thought and if you can see that from here as a witness if you can see the entire process there is
02:50the the thinker the subject then there is the object of the thought and the relationship between these
02:59two is called thinking the thought if you can see that then things can change but that does not usually
03:07happen we we usually are not witnesses to our thoughts are we we don't witness thoughts we just keep
03:13thinking we remain the subject of thought not the witness of thought we remain the subject of thought
03:21not the witness so so so so we said the thinker can keep thinking thinking thinking but thinking will not
03:29change the thinker just because he has been thinking yes right and the thinker is thinking therefore the
03:40thinker obviously is not going to hurt himself through thinking since thinking is something that is done by the
03:50thinker why will the thinker think in a way that hurts his own perceived self-interest will he yes
04:02thought is not coming to me from the universe thought does not arise in a vacuum thought arises from
04:11me from who i am since thought is my own doing why will i think in a way that thought challenges who i am
04:21will will i allow thought to be that way no so thinker is never really challenged by his thought right
04:31so i'm a person now i am the thinker and i think a lot let's say i'm in the marriageable age you're talking of
04:37relationships we come to that now so i'm in the marriageable age or whatever i'm an adult i can have
04:43relationships presumably these are the kind of relationships you're talking of right yes i'm talking
04:51of man man-woman relationships yes so so i'm in that age and i think i think as a man i think about women
05:01as a woman i think about men and these things are there so whatever thoughts i have will result in
05:09a choice because most of us choose through thought correct when we have to make a choice we start
05:15thinking i am a person let's say i'm a man i want to choose a woman the choice is based on my thought
05:24and thought exists to help me remain just as i am
05:32the woman is coming to me through choice choice is made the process of thought and thought exists
05:41to let me remain exactly as so what kind of woman will i choose
05:46i'll choose a woman who pleases me ingratiates me but never really challenges me to the core
06:04some amount of challenge is okay that is fun
06:08let the two of us play air hockey we are challenging each other so that kind of
06:13challenge or carom you know we are challenging each other in carom that kind of challenge is
06:17all right but if somebody challenges you to the core shakes you up to the foundations that's not
06:24admissible or is that no man wants to admit such a woman in life who will like
06:30challenge his basic philosophical underpinnings
06:36hello you mr dualist and the fellow is a hardcore dualist
06:41and the woman comes in and the woman comes in and says no no no this won't do
06:46all your dualism is nonsense the man is never going to let her in
06:52do you see how relationships depend on thought and thought depends on who you are
06:57and therefore all our relationships just result in continuation of our misery not just continuation
07:04actually enhancement aggravation yes i'm already bad and through the thought process i make a choice
07:19that makes my condition worse i will always choose a woman who does me no good
07:25and if a woman exists coincidentally who can be of real help to me the job of thought will be to push
07:39that woman aside reject her the first thing possible because she is the one who will shake you up
07:47she will move into your house and the house will collapse
07:57ditto for the other combination you know as a woman you don't want a man
08:02who will challenge your most fundamental beliefs
08:04what changes we need to make regarding those thoughts
08:19like you have suggested some thoughtless no not thoughtless
08:26see
08:28it cannot be addressed at that level only in that domain where a person
08:34is to be chosen for a relationship
08:40that's probably the most hurtful so that's the place we want to address first right
08:46because if you make a bad choice with respect to a t-shirt doesn't hurt that much but when you
08:54make a bad choice with respect to a man it hurts much deeper and for much longer probably so
09:01we want to talk of that but talking of that alone might not be very helpful
09:09the person the man or the woman didn't just randomly enter life
09:14it was a continuation of a pattern of choices
09:18i have been choosing that way since very very long
09:21and that very same pattern now made this woman enter my life right i just want to somehow surgically remove
09:32this woman from my life while keeping all the other entrance in that won't do
09:39the same process that brought this shirt to me or this pen to me
09:48or my job to me or my religious beliefs to me
09:55is the or my political associations to me
09:58you're leaning towards the conservatives no no mind you that too is going to be related
10:10to the to the marital choice you make
10:16unless i am ready to challenge the very center from where all the choices are made
10:23it will not be possible to rectify one particular choice
10:29if i am someone who says i am not going to challenge my political beliefs
10:33but i want exactly the right woman in my life it is not going to be possible
10:42your political beliefs are a reflection of your ego
10:47and if you staunchly adhere to your political beliefs
10:51beliefs that means you are very particular about saving protecting your ego
10:59and if that is the case then the woman you will get
11:04you know will be just your ego in another another shape another name another gender
11:11okay i just i want to give the example of myself like i feel i am a revolutionary person i always do
11:26something different but regarding relationships i want to some wrong person so how can i relate my
11:36my revolutionaries and with the choice also wrong person you will have to reflect on everything see
11:44no relationship choice ever happens in a vacuum i must be someone ready to
11:52observe all the choices being made when all the choices are of a certain standard
12:02the the the personal choice in terms of a man or woman that too carries a certain standard
12:16if i am someone who is reckless
12:21in in choosing the the kind of jewelry to wear
12:26or the next car or the next job what are the other things we choose
12:32or friends or books objects of common choice if if i do not know how to make choice with respect to
12:42these objects how will i know how to choose when it comes to choosing someone for marriage let's say
12:48or for a relationship whatever these are not unrelated i i must be into it 24 7 because i am choosing 24 7
12:59so i must be observing 24 7 and if i am constantly improving the process of my choice
13:08then when it comes to a man i'll obviously be making a great choice
13:18see i i i can put it this way
13:21let's say you you read a book once right it had let's say 80 chapters
13:40now again you have picked up that book
13:44this time some other publisher
13:45some other font some other font some other size
13:53number of pages has changed the cover has changed all those things have changed the page quality paper
14:00quality has changed
14:01chapter 26
14:07chapter 26 when you read the book last time was
14:19obsession that was the title of chapter 26
14:24huh chapter 26 when you book when you read the book last time was titled
14:29obsession and chapter 27
14:34was titled
14:37suffering
14:41now this time when you read the book
14:45you find chapter 1 till chapter 26 are exactly as they were in the
14:51previous book
14:53you are you are again reading the chapter sequentially you have come to chapter 26
14:58and chapter 26 is exactly the same as it was last time
15:03chapter 1 till 26 are have all exactly been the same as they were last time
15:09now this time in this particular book can chapter 27 change
15:15that's what for chapter 27 to change you'll have to write an entirely new book
15:20you cannot say all other chapters will remain the same but one chapter has to change
15:27is that ever possible in any book
15:30cover page can change
15:34line spacing can change
15:36probably even the color of the ink can change
15:41all those things can change
15:44but after chapter 26 which is obsession
15:47chapter 27 which is suffering
15:50will always be there that cannot change
15:54if you want to change even one chapter change the entire book
16:00it is it is just pointless to expect that
16:04all the chapters will remain the same but this particular one
16:08should not turn into celebration
16:09after obsession you will have suffering the the chapter cannot be renamed as celebration
16:18can it be
16:23our expectation is
16:30unanswerable
16:32but at the same time it does not take much
16:36to rewrite the book
16:40in fact
16:41we are
16:43not just entitled but obliged to rewrite the book
16:51you have been given a book in advance your job
16:56is to erase
16:59whatever is already written
17:01that's called neti neti
17:02when you were born
17:05you were born
17:08with a book
17:10now you could either keep
17:13following the chapters
17:16or you could erase whatever came with the body
17:20and write an entirely new story
17:24but to expect that
17:28you know the chapters will miraculously
17:30change into something better
17:36is unreasonable that's not going to happen
17:42change everything
17:43change everything challenge everything
17:47we said observation 24 7
17:50every small choice
17:53is like exercise rehearsal a workshop
17:56net practice
18:01if you are not meticulous with the so-called
18:05small choices
18:06you will inevitably suffer in the so-called
18:10big choices because the chooser
18:14is the same
18:17no
18:17so when you find
18:22the sailing is smooth
18:26use that period
18:30to sharpen
18:32your weapons
18:34and deepen your defenses
18:40you are sitting at a restaurant you have to order food
18:42you know how many combinations of food items are possible within your budget
18:51think of it
18:54think of it
18:56you've gone there and you're sitting at the table let's say all by yourself
19:00your budget is 500 bucks
19:04for 500 rupees
19:06the number of combinations that is possible is absolutely staggering
19:12but do we pay attention to the process of choice
19:16something is priced at 80 something is priced at 100 something is priced at 250
19:22and there are let's say 300 things on the menu
19:25can we have some mathematician compute the number of possible combinations within rupees 500
19:34you will be astonished the number of such combinations will run into lakhs
19:40now out of these lakhs of possibilities
19:45which one do you choose we don't even choose we say
19:50one masala dosa
19:55pay attention to the process of choice
20:03that got her excited
20:09thank you much
20:11i am always obliged
20:13you have come to my life
20:15especially your fourth practitioner sessions i am following it
20:19on
20:20in the recordings also
20:23thank you very much
20:24we will have a lot ofarbeiten
20:28we have not had any, not speaking Entonces sa
20:44we have not had any supports by us
20:47but we will have an intervention
20:49it goes up
20:51i am
20:52we have a lot of nerve
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