- 6/19/2025
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00:00you're 27 you're committing something for the next 54 years that's long term right you're
00:04committing something for something for a period that's double your current age how can you even
00:08manage to honor such a commitment how will i get to know that the person is good for me like what
00:15is love if i'm choosing myself over the social norms or the person who is claiming to be highly
00:22dedicated and purely in love with me but i'm not satisfied with it like my priorities are different
00:28so is it unfair to the other person is it being greedy if you are already all right then why do
00:35you need to step into something just for the sake of convention if you are good to me if i consider
00:42this conversation worth it i'll commit everything i have to you right now why should i demand that
00:49you remain committed for the next 2000 years companionship is wonderful companionship with
00:55the opposite gender too might be wonderful but what is this idea that unless you are in a long
01:00term relationship with somebody there is something missing
01:02hello achariji i hope i'm audible you are uh so currently i'm financially stable and i'm working
01:17since quite long like i started working when i was 17 years old so that uh that thing made me quite
01:25independent independent strong and different than my peer group like i believe that i'm a little
01:31different than them and currently um i have a government job so i'm posted to a rural area so the environment
01:40is uh a lot like men dominating and there's a lot of pressure on marriage so in last one year it
01:50influenced me uh for marriage so i felt like i'm stable like i'm making money and i'm quite satisfied
01:59in my life so i was convinced with this idea and i stepped into the hunt and i met a person who claimed
02:08to be in love with me and claimed a lot of things uh i made some commitments but it's been a few months
02:15and i'm not comfortable uh with the bond with the person and with the idea of
02:23a long term term with him so the question here is uh like how will i get to know that the person
02:32is good for me like what is love and if i'm choosing myself over the social norms or the person who is
02:42claiming to be highly dedicated and purely in love with with me but i'm not uh satisfied with it like
02:51my priorities are different so is it unfair to the other person is it being greedy is it like asking too
02:59much if i want to step back from here so yeah it's like superiority complex as well i believe that i am
03:09a bit better than him uh it is to some aspects so am i being uh way too much greedy about my priorities
03:19stepping back i do not understand because i do not understand what it means to have a long-term
03:30relationship marriage what do you mean by that what is that yes we are all very familiar with that word
03:37but kindly explain marriage like sharing
03:44no no please please please today sharing responsibilities today is that marriage
03:53not today in a long term so how how how do you decide on that and how do you decide on that and why
04:02must you decide on that i was told a lot of lot such things but mentally i'm not convinced with it i
04:12believe i'm doing good and i'm i'm fine without such things without these responsibilities and without
04:20this partnership so shouldn't that then simply close the matter if you are already all right
04:29then why do you need to step into something just for the sake of convention
04:35and that to something that as i said we are very familiar with but we probably do not understand
04:45if you are good to me if i consider this conversation worth it i'll commit everything i have
04:57to you right now
05:00why should i demand that you remain committed for the next 2000 years
05:06or why should i commit myself for the next 2000 years isn't that just absurd
05:14and i could as well remain with you for the next 2000 years
05:24but that would be exactly the way it is right now step by step day by day
05:30not that i am particularly eager to fly away but i also don't see the point
05:38in being able at this point to commit something for the long term what do you mean by the long term
05:47you're 27 you're committing something for the next 54 years
05:52that's long term right you're committing something for something
05:58or for a for period that's double your current age
06:07how can you even manage to honor such a commitment
06:14and why does continuation of the relationship
06:21be based on this kind of a commitment
06:23if if you if you like this conversation you are most welcome to return tomorrow
06:32and i'll be there tomorrow
06:37same time same cafe same table
06:42yeah fine no strings attached
06:48you pay for your own food i do for mine fine wonderful or on alternate days maybe
06:53i'm asking this question what exactly is this thing
07:04that you must get into even if your life is all right
07:14companionship is wonderful companionship with the opposite gender too might be wonderful
07:19but what is this idea that unless you are in a long-term relationship with somebody
07:27there is something missing
07:38long-term relationship is not a problem
07:41a plant thought out
07:49it might actually be beautiful
08:05to grow old together to be with someone for next 50 years
08:10but it's beautiful when it's day by day
08:12not when it has been made binding upon you by forces of society culture and law
08:31yeah
08:42and why must you be so insecure you know let me get quickly hitched up
08:51otherwise i'll be left all lonely high and dry
08:59come on you're all right you're young you don't look diseased you look educated you say you are earning
09:08you're all right why should there be such insecurity
09:15and if you have an inner void
09:22then the bhagavad-gita is there for you great writers are there for you great arts are there for you
09:27great books great philosophies are there for you the saints have such such great songs of love
09:39they are there for you
09:40but you feel so obliged that you are actually feeling guilty aren't you
09:58yep
10:02yes the thing is i'm getting a continuous knock on my door
10:06uh that i will not do what i have done before i'll you can do whatever you want your freedom
10:13will not be affected such promises and the person is like begging and that's making me a bit
10:21uncomfortable that am i being unkind to the other person you're supposed to be kind because you are
10:28you know a cultured indian woman and she must be the epitome of kindness
10:36hmm
10:39and all the positive virtues she must display
10:46right
10:49even in a
10:52single-seater bike she must take the back seat
10:54even if you are sitting all alone by yourself in a cafe still you must ensure that everybody else has eaten
11:12and only then you will pick your food
11:20the problem is not that he is knocking and saying this or that to allure you or whatever
11:24the problem is the guilt you are experiencing am i being selfish
11:30you are entitled to be selfish what else do you have in life except the self take care of it
11:36take care of it what else will you take care of if not the self
11:43but i am the other bharati and are you i am supposed to be selfless
11:55hmm
11:58as selfless as gandhari
12:13the gita tells you that you are a human being
12:20the gender is just one of the attributes of the body
12:34you belong to the same species as the rest of us homo sapiens
12:45we do not say
12:46because you are a woman so homo sapiens do we see that
12:53interestingly men would be momos
13:06forget me my bad humor
13:17create the right environment
13:22you radiate both your clarity
13:25and your ignorance create an environment that reflects back your
13:30clarity
13:36and absorbs your ignorance
13:41that's what i mean by tricking the ego
13:43so creating the right environment around yourself is extremely important
13:57imagine with the same question
14:00had she gone to tauji
14:03what would have been radiated back to her
14:06ignorance
14:10and the decision would have flipped
14:13yeah thank you
14:22thank you so much
14:23thank you so much thank you so much for the team also
14:25for making it happen
14:26thank you so much thank you so much thank you so much thank you so much thank you
14:35my question is that i
14:38sort of feel a lot cornered
14:41in situations
14:43and i feel like if i'm not loud enough i'm not heard
14:46and two of the because we talked about anger fear insecurities etc
14:51the thing that it is coming it is birthing from my own insecurity
14:55but the two most common uh justifications i use for the same is that
15:02my gender and probably my age doesn't make people think that i'm saying something sensible
15:08but i think that has become like a
15:10um sort of like what i just said a justification to like overshadow my own inadequacies making maybe i'm
15:18not actually making sense maybe it's just angers and i'm trying to protect as we said like
15:24my own ego so i don't know how to like come out of that in like my own situations
15:31display results that's all
15:35gender age they all become irrelevant in front of performance
15:45when it comes to a workplace are you talking of workplace issues
15:49nobody uh cares about anything more than results
16:00we are here to produce results
16:08i mean you can be an IAS at the age of 20 21
16:14right you can complete your training two years later and you would be posted somewhere
16:21or you could be
16:25the police in charge of an entire district or you could hold some other responsible position all
16:32at the age of 23 24 and there would be people your father's age reporting to you and dozens of them
16:40dozens of them and all at senior positions and they'll be reporting to you and you are a 23 year old woman
16:52that's right nobody cares nobody can care you're a fighter pilot
17:00and you can have a massive patriarch and you drop a bomb on his head
17:05would he refuse to die and how can a mere girl of 23 smash my head i refuse to die that won't happen
17:23you can enter some great b school or something
17:28and take on a manager's or or administrator's position again at the age of 22 23 and you'll again have
17:41a large number reporting to you how will it matter
17:48the powers vested in you your designation
17:50that's right that's right nobody nobody nobody
17:56even if they have internal biases
17:59still they'll have to play by the rules
18:04and let them have internal biases that is their problem
18:07you operate within a system that cares for result and performance
18:12if people carry biases too bad for them
18:15So many Nobel laureates, all young people, all young people, in fact, if you look at
18:33the distribution, age distribution of Nobel laureates, you will find something pretty
18:40interesting.
18:41A lot of young people there.
18:46In fact, it is more difficult to find old people there.
18:5130s, 40s abound, in fact, beyond 40s, beyond the age of 50, it becomes thinner, the number.
19:11There are young people who are doing great stuff and they are succeeding and they are being
19:18rewarded and a lot of young women as well.
19:21Who is the only person to receive a Nobel doubly?
19:28What, she was like 104 years old when that happened?
19:33And that wasn't after all the waves of feminism and post-modernism and no, when was that happening?
19:49That was happening when the society and the culture were still more regressive than they
19:58are today.
19:59Yeah?
20:01And you know the problems she faced in even getting properly educated.
20:08And yet, a Nobel laureate twice over.
20:11I don't think we owe it to the people who gave us our macro-legal frameworks, the framers of
20:30the constitution, the egalitarian values that they committed us to.
20:44People may have their internal biases but the external environment is pretty favourable to women.
20:52You are protected economically, legally, in fact, there is affirmative action.
21:14There is preservation as well for women in various spheres.
21:24A lot of what holds you back is internal.
21:30And we are not denying the fact that people have their biases and all that.
21:35There is Lok Dharam, there is deeply embedded sense of male superiority and those things.
21:45We understand that.
21:49But still, there is enough ammunition available for women to now fire.
21:58Even if the odds are still there, yet, there is a lot of support as well.
22:08So focus on your performance.
22:11Focus on the results.
22:12Achyaji, what I find is that I get overly frustrated over these things.
22:17And then my performance, I mean, what is important, my focus shifts.
22:23And that is troubling me now, I guess.
22:25Why do you give importance to things that have little bearing on the final result you are supposed
22:33to deliver?
22:34Right.
22:35There is a particular result you are supposed to deliver, right?
22:39And then there is noise in the workplace.
22:41A lot of that needs to be simply ignored because that has nothing to do with the result you have
22:47to deliver.
22:49And if there is something that impedes the result, you must deliver.
22:54Then you must escalate.
22:56Because there is somebody who is expecting results from you, right?
23:01Let it be known to that person that some noise is coming in the way of result.
23:08And I can deliver.
23:10And I can perform better.
23:13If these kinds of disturbances are taken care of or there are problematic factors, let it
23:20be known.
23:24Because you are sitting at a place you are responsible for, you are being paid for a
23:30particular result.
23:33So, you go and tell the particular person or authority that my results can be better but
23:39for these, these, these things.
23:42So, can you address these things?
23:45And if those things deserve to be addressed, they will be addressed.
23:48And if those things are just random noise, then they ought to be ignored.
23:59And you will always have random noise mind you.
24:01Never expect a perfect kind of environment anywhere.
24:06Neither do I have it nor can I guarantee it to you.
24:11So, all kinds of trivia always surround you and it's your job to be discreet and know what
24:18to not consider.
24:21Yeah.
24:22Yeah.
24:24Yeah.
24:25Hi.
24:26Hello, everyone.
24:27My name is Richa Sharma.
24:28I'm from Gassipal, Uttir Pradesh.
24:29And I have been a part of this family from past five months, five and six months.
24:41And in my journey, like I am listening to Acharya Ji, Acharya Prashant Ji from past, like
24:472020, I believe after or during the COVID period, and now I'm part of the community as well.
24:53So, I think that was like my wholesome experience was totally like every single one of you, how
25:01we all started with some sort of catastrophic repercussions in our life because of our social
25:06conditioning and, you know, the unanswered why's in our lives.
25:10So, this particular education and these particular sessions are helping me to change me for my
25:15betterment and regulated by me only.
25:18So, I think this is the best part of it.
25:20And that's how the more you are able to find your own problems within you with the help of
25:25Acharya Ji, because he never asked, he never gave any personal advice in sessions.
25:30He always gives you the gyan, the knowledge and, you know, the explanations of Gita, Shlokas
25:35and everything.
25:36And now you have to figure out yourself where you are lacking.
25:39I think that is the best part that where you will be understanding all the rich eye of
25:44Ved's Gita and along with you will be able to figure out what is wrong with you.
25:50So I think that is pretty much from my end.
25:52And I really, really want to thank you Ashari Prachandji and all the team members for this
25:57incredible, incredible efforts.
25:58Thanks.
25:59And we are always here for him and thank you so much.
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