00:05I'll get to that in just a second, but I'd like to speak with Matt.
00:08Uh, this is, but I'm not gonna talk to you if I don't know who this is.
00:11Matt, my name is Brent Grimes, and I'm a detective for the d*** county police. How are you today?
00:16Uh, I'm doing alright. How are you?
00:18I'm not doing so hot, actually. And the reason is because of yesterday.
00:21During my off hours, I was driving down the freeway, and your car was in front of me.
00:25So I ran your plates and I got your info, and that's why I'm on the phone right now.
00:28Um, I don't, I don't understand.
00:31I just need to tell you something, Matt. I'm watching your every move.
00:34You slip up just once and you're mine.
00:36I don't understand the problem, because I'm an extremely safe driver.
00:39Yeah, maybe a little too safe if you ask me.
00:42The speed limit was 65 where you were driving yesterday.
00:45And you want to know how fast you were going?
00:47I was going 65, because that's what I do.
00:49Exactly. You were going 65, and I'm sick and tired of people like yourself going the speed limit in the left lane.
00:55What are you talking about? That's the speed limit. That's how fast you're supposed to be allowed to go.
00:59That's the law.
01:00Okay, but you're in the left lane.
01:02That's the speed limit if you want to drive in the right lane with the rest of the grandmas.
01:05You need to go at least 10 miles over the speed limit if you're in the left lane.
01:08Everybody knows that.
01:09Are you trying to tell me I should break the law?
01:11I'm telling you to be a good person.
01:13And move over to the right if you're going to go slow.
01:15If not, I swear to God, I will take you down.
01:17What do you mean, take me down?
01:19Do you not have anything better to do as a police officer?
01:21Isn't there crime or drugs or murder or something like that?
01:24Oh, no, yes, no. I did have something better to do yesterday.
01:27I had to make it to a birthday party and I was 15 minutes late.
01:29You want to know why? Because I was behind you.
01:30That's not my fault. Leave 15 minutes earlier. I'm driving the speed limit.
01:34You know what? How would you like it if the cops showed up to your house tomorrow and, I don't know, found the drugs that are in your glove compartment? Would you like that?
01:40What do you mean? I don't have drugs in my glove compartment?
01:43I'm sorry, what did you say? You have drugs in your glove compartment? Now I think I have probable cause to come over there and search your car.
01:48No, I said, officer, I don't have drugs in my car.
01:52Alright, so you sold them. So now I've got possession with intent to distribute.
01:55What are you talking about?
01:57Yeah, your slow driving in the left lane the other day really put you on the wrong side of the law, didn't it? El Chapo.
02:01El Chapo? You're trying to set me up as some sort of drug smuggler or dealer or something like that just because I'm driving the speed limit in the fast lane?
02:10I'm just saying, I was late yesterday for a very important appointment because you were driving in the left lane slow and it'd be a shame if I showed up to your house and I found the kilo of cocaine that's in your glove box. It'd be a shame, wouldn't it?
02:19What are you talking about?
02:20Okay, so you just admitted to me, sir. Sir, you just admitted to me that you have drugs in your car and I'm going to need to come over.
02:24No, I don't.
02:25I've been doing this job for a long time and the only people who obey the speed limit are people who are trying not to get pulled over because they're international drug smugglers.
02:32I'm not new to this.
02:33What are you talking about? You're either a crooked cop or you need to be locked up in a mental institution.
02:38Or a stupid radio host doing a prank phone call on you. I could be that too.
02:43What did you just say?
02:45Oh, I said this is actually Jubal from Brook and Jubal in the morning doing a phone tap on you. Your girlfriend Melissa set you up.
02:50Wait a minute, what?
02:52Your girlfriend told me that you never speed and people always get frustrated driving behind you.
02:55But I don't know. After all that, I'm starting to question whether you could be the next El Chapo.
02:59I was like, what is going on? This psycho cop is going after me because I'm going the speed limit.
03:07Well, dude, only people that go the speed limit. Drug dealers are murderers. I'm sorry.
03:10Yeah, yeah. You're a great detective. You're a great cop.
