Polyfamily (2025) - Season 1 Episode 3 -
Who's Your Daddy?
#ShowFilm98
Who's Your Daddy?
#ShowFilm98
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Previously on Pauly Family...
00:02I really want to go see a lactation consultant
00:04and try and see if I could breastfeed, too.
00:08One of the perks of polyamory is having two moms,
00:11so if I can produce milk to be able to breastfeed him,
00:14that would give me another role that I can play as his mom.
00:19Everybody's grounded, but, like, when am I supposed to see her?
00:22Well, I get that, but, I mean, that's one of the consequences
00:24of being grounded.
00:25I should be able to talk to my kid, our kid, you know?
00:28When we all decided to pair him together
00:30and we get into an argument and they use the my kids
00:32or these are our kids, like, it does hurt.
00:34Is that intentional? Is it on purpose?
00:36In the moment, I don't know.
00:38Who's in Mama's tummy?
00:39Baby kitty.
00:40Good job. High five.
00:41Who's the father?
00:42We really don't want to know the paternity of our children
00:45if we can avoid it.
00:47The reason is the only real consequences
00:49that could come from finding out for us at this stage
00:51are negative.
00:52Oh, s***.
00:54Sean sent me a text that said,
00:56I guess we know who the dad is, and then that was it.
00:58I would assume that blood type, you know,
01:01everyone would know that blood type tells us paternity,
01:04and so for him just to send it, not even thinking about it,
01:07it's pretty irresponsible and pretty irritating.
01:10I'm feeling a little bit, like, triggered
01:13because I didn't know any of this was going on at all.
01:16I wish that he could talk to me about this stuff, too.
01:26♪♪♪
01:31♪♪♪
01:36♪♪♪
01:41♪ I ain't gonna slow down, don't you know it's my turn? ♪
01:45♪ No one's taking my ground ♪
01:48Hi.
01:49Hi.
01:50What you doing?
01:51Making a bottle.
01:52That's good.
01:54Have you talked to Sean at all about the text?
01:57No.
01:59I need to, but I don't really want to.
02:02Yeah.
02:03Here's what happened.
02:05Tyler and I took Quentin to a checkup.
02:08The doctor gave us all the updated information,
02:10his height, his weight, and his blood type.
02:12Tyler sent that in our group chat, as we usually do,
02:15and it didn't even cross our mind
02:17that his blood type could indicate paternity,
02:21and Sean looked it up.
02:23Both him and I are type B,
02:25and according to what he found,
02:28two type B parents cannot make an O baby,
02:31which is Quentin's blood type.
02:33Tyler hasn't talked to Sean about it,
02:35and I haven't talked to Sean about it either,
02:37but I can tell that he's upset,
02:39and I don't want this to change anything for Sean.
02:41I don't want him to have anything in the back of his mind
02:44about being less than a parent
02:45because he's not Quentin's biological father.
02:49Guess what?
02:50What?
02:52My milk came in.
02:53No.
02:54It's like a fountain.
02:57I'm glad your milk came in, because guess what?
02:59Mine didn't.
03:00Oh, no.
03:01I mean, it's not that big of a deal.
03:03Like, if yours came in, then that kind of is...
03:05Yeah, no, I still appreciate you trying.
03:08Taya's been kind of stressed
03:10and struggling with breastfeeding,
03:12and I'm really sad that I'm not able to breastfeed.
03:15I wanted that for my relationship with Quentin,
03:19and it feels like, even though I tried,
03:22like, I still failed at doing that,
03:24and that's something that I really wanted to happen.
03:28No, I really appreciate you and how much you tried,
03:31how hard you tried.
03:32I think we can find some other ways
03:34for you to bond with him still.
03:35Yeah.
03:36I mean, you could still latch him.
03:37Okay.
03:38Bonding.
03:39Yeah, bonding, here.
03:40Destroy my nipples.
03:41For no real reason.
03:43Or I could just feed him bottles.
03:45Yeah, let's do that.
03:46Okay.
03:47Can you imagine the looks we would have got
03:49if we were both breastfeeding Quentin in public?
03:51Just passing him back and forth.
03:53Yeah, you breastfeed him and then pass him to me,
03:55and I would bow to him and start nursing him as well.
03:59Then we'd really get some funny looks.
04:01Being able to breastfeed Quentin
04:02would be going way above and beyond.
04:04Alicia's just as much Quentin's mom as I am,
04:06and we're gonna do all the mom things,
04:08just looking for ways for her to continue to bond
04:11with our shared son
04:12outside of breastfeeding him that she can.
04:14♪♪♪♪
04:19My bath time?
04:22Yeah.
04:23I get to go take a bath?
04:24Yeah.
04:25All by myself?
04:26Yeah.
04:27Deal.
04:28Okay, okay, I got it.
04:29I'm sorry it took so long.
04:31I'm sorry.
04:33I'm sorry.
04:35Between my two partners, they're very different
04:37when it comes to expressing emotions.
04:39My husband, Sean, will a lot of times keep it to himself
04:42as not to burden anybody else,
04:44and my boyfriend, Tyler, a lot of times
04:47will be a lot quicker to talk about his emotions out loud.
04:50I can tell Sean's upset, so I need to talk to him.
04:53I don't want him to have to deal with it alone.
04:55Hey, babe.
04:56Hello.
04:57What's up?
04:58I just wanted to come check in with you.
05:02How was your game?
05:04It was good.
05:05I've been stuck on the same level for like two weeks,
05:07so it's fun, you know?
05:09Since I've become polyamorous,
05:11I have learned the hard way
05:12not to get involved in other people's arguments.
05:15When it comes to the guys disagreeing,
05:17it's a really fine line between being a listening ear
05:21and feeling like you're being defensive
05:23over one or the other.
05:24I know that Tyler didn't send that text maliciously,
05:27and I want Sean to know that,
05:29but there's a very fair chance
05:31that that could come off as defending Tyler
05:34when Sean's upset,
05:35and I definitely don't want to make things worse.
05:38I just wanted to check in again
05:40about Tyler sending the whole blood type thing.
05:44I know you said you were fine over text message and all that,
05:47but I wanted to check in now
05:48that there's been some time in between.
05:50Yeah.
05:51I was definitely not happy when I got the text
05:54just because it feels like it should have been a conversation
05:56like, do you want to know the blood type?
05:58Because that is telling right there.
06:00I don't know.
06:01Why would you tell anybody that?
06:03If the rules were reversed,
06:04I never would have said anything.
06:05When I first got the text from Tyler
06:07and blood type was in there,
06:08I was taken aback a little bit.
06:09I was like, that's something that can tell us paternity,
06:11and you just willy-nilly throw it in a text message.
06:13It's kind of a dick move.
06:15I didn't want to know this.
06:16Why on earth would you ever tell me this,
06:18and why on earth would you want to know it yourself anyways?
06:21It's frustrating, and it's something that
06:23I can never really get back,
06:25and now I have this information
06:26that I didn't want to begin with.
06:28So you're upset with Tyler?
06:33Yes, 100%.
06:35I just thought it was not okay for him to send that.
06:38You found out, which is fine.
06:39It's not your fault.
06:41It's just like I never would have thought
06:42to send it without asking first.
06:45It's such a different reaction across the board.
06:48I checked in with Felicia,
06:49and it didn't even register.
06:51Yeah, but you already know that you're the mother.
06:54I know.
06:55The biological mother.
06:56I know.
06:57So I see why your brain doesn't go there,
06:58but I don't know how you wouldn't be irritated
07:02if the rules were reversed.
07:06I'm emotional because I am very protective of Sean.
07:09I have been from the very beginning of our relationship,
07:14but hearing that he had a big reaction is upsetting for me.
07:18I care about him, and I don't want him
07:20to be sad or hurting at any time.
07:25I just feel bad.
07:27But you didn't do it maliciously.
07:28I know.
07:29It doesn't mean that it doesn't.
07:31Sure.
07:32You know, Tyler and I have had
07:33some pretty hefty arguments over the years.
07:35There was one time we were on vacation.
07:37We had a good argument.
07:38Tyler and Felicia packed up the kids,
07:40drove home without us.
07:42You can get that pissed off that quickly enough
07:44to pack up the car and leave from a family vacation
07:47and take the kids with you.
07:49It's a pretty telling thing to me,
07:51and so it was scary.
07:53It was scary to think that the kids could be yanked
07:56just that quickly from us.
07:59Why are you crying?
08:00I think that there's been, like,
08:01so much that we've worked through building up to this
08:05that it shocks me any time something else comes up.
08:09This is our family at stake,
08:11and we really have come so far.
08:14But every time something like this comes up,
08:17I'm always fearful that it's going to be the one thing
08:19that could lead to our family falling apart.
08:23♪♪♪♪
08:26♪♪♪♪
08:29♪♪♪♪
08:32I'm nervous going to work.
08:35Sorry, Q.
08:40Nervous to work out.
08:43It'll be good to get your body moving.
08:46As much as I want to lay in bed all day,
08:49I think that's a sign I need to get up and get moving.
08:52I've recently been cleared to work out again
08:54since Quintin is 6 weeks old,
08:56so we decided to head out to a baby yoga class.
08:59It's definitely nice to get out of the house,
09:01especially with Alicia, get away from the guys.
09:03I mean, we love them, but they've got their own issues,
09:06and it's nice to just get out, just the two of us,
09:08with Quintin and be able to spend some quality time together.
09:11It doesn't have to be rigorous exercise
09:13in order to feel better,
09:14just getting any sort of, like, movement,
09:16get those endorphins going, you know?
09:20Yes.
09:21Since giving birth just a little over a month ago,
09:24I have not been feeling my best.
09:26I definitely am not back to feeling myself.
09:28Postpartum is really hard,
09:30and the anxiety post-kids is its own beast, for sure.
09:35Have you had a chance to talk to the guys at all
09:38about how you've been feeling with the anxiety and stuff?
09:42I don't know if they're in the best position
09:44to, like, support me right now,
09:46especially with Sean.
09:47Like, him and I talked about finding out Quintin's blood type,
09:50finally, and he is just upset about the way he found out.
09:56I mean, is he upset about actually knowing the information?
10:00That's not necessarily what he's upset about.
10:03I think he's upset about the fact that Tyler and I
10:05could have asked you guys if you wanted that information
10:08if we would have caught on to what it meant
10:10and given you the option.
10:13Sean and Tyler aren't on the best terms right now,
10:15but Tay and I have been there, too.
10:17Like, we've had to be really intentional
10:19and put in a lot of work to overcome some of those differences
10:22and build that trust and have a really good foundation,
10:24and the guys just haven't quite got there yet.
10:27It feels like a little bit of a blind side
10:29to find out this information, whether we're okay with it or not,
10:32and I think that's what's uncomfortable.
10:34Yeah, we weren't prepared for this.
10:36We've had conversations about not knowing,
10:38but never the conversation of what happens if we find out.
10:41What I'm hurt about and sad about
10:43is that not only was I with Sean when he found out
10:47and he didn't say anything, which sucked,
10:51but also, like, he still hasn't talked to me about it.
10:56I was with Sean when we got the text from Tyler
10:58about the blood type, and I literally had no idea
11:02that he felt any sort of way about it.
11:05And rather than open up to me, he decided to text Taya.
11:08I definitely think that Sean confides in Taya more.
11:12It's been an ongoing issue in Sean's and my relationship
11:15for the entire relationship.
11:17I want to be able to be that support for him,
11:20and I just feel like he keeps me at arm's length
11:23and doesn't trust me enough to confide in me at all.
11:29We don't talk about our feelings very well,
11:31or it's like the way I come across to him sometimes,
11:34like, doesn't get, like, received well,
11:36and so I'm worried that I'm either not going to articulate it well
11:40or he's going to brush it off as, like, oh, well, it's not a big deal.
11:44Like, I don't know why you wanted me to talk to you,
11:46and then that, and I'll feel invalidated.
11:48So, like, I'm going through this whole scenario in my head
11:52of, like, how the conversation is going to potentially not go well.
11:57So why even bring it up?
12:00I think that Sean has to make an effort to open up to anybody
12:03because he's just not ingrained that way.
12:08He's not comfortable that way.
12:09Honestly, he's been so much on his own, like, his whole life.
12:13Sean doesn't have a lot of other people in his life that are on his side,
12:17and it's taken a long time for him to open up to me.
12:21I know it's hard for Alicia not to take things personally,
12:24but it's not about her.
12:26It's a him issue.
12:28I'd rather minimize my own feelings about it
12:30than try and, like, talk to him and create another situation.
12:38How do you feel about, like, you're not on his birth certificate?
12:41These are my kids no matter what.
12:43It's kind of sad to think that even though this is my son,
12:46I don't have any legal ties to him,
12:47and I can't be on the birth certificate as a parent.
12:51♪♪♪
13:00Hi.
13:01♪♪♪
13:06Friends, do we want to get a beer going?
13:08I would, please. Can I have a Nebula?
13:10Yeah, absolutely.
13:11Can I get strawberry lemonade?
13:12Of course, I'll be right back.
13:13I'm meeting up with my sister Kelsey today to have some dinner,
13:16just kind of chat and catch up.
13:18I really want to fill her in on what's been going on with Sean and I
13:21and the blood type text and that whole situation.
13:24Sean and I have had some pretty explosive fights in the past,
13:27especially around parenting, and this one's pretty serious.
13:30So I'm looking to hopefully get some advice,
13:33maybe just vent a little bit, and I trust my sister for all that.
13:37Thank you very much.
13:39I'm just a double dipper.
13:40That's fine.
13:41I can't put it on my own plate.
13:43We're related and we have the same germ, right?
13:45I guess. I think so.
13:47So I went with Quint to his appointment,
13:50and they told us his blood type, and I'm like, oh, great.
13:54Because the four of us, whenever he drops his appointments,
13:57we always just text that stuff.
13:59We're going to keep everybody updated before we can forget, kind of thing.
14:02And they're like, oh, his type O negative.
14:04I'm like, oh, cool.
14:05Hey, by the way, Quint's type O negative.
14:07You didn't even think about it.
14:08No.
14:10I'm not a doctor, but apparently him having type O negative blood
14:14and me having type O negative blood is a pretty strong indicator
14:16based on everybody else's that he's genetically mine, which.
14:21I feel like I already knew that Quintin was his.
14:25Me and him have the same DNA,
14:27so I can tell when a child is similar feature-wise.
14:31So have you had a conversation with Sean?
14:35I haven't yet.
14:37I feel like I owe him an apology,
14:38but also I don't want to bring it up if he's rather I don't.
14:41I want to apologize, but I don't want it to be just for me.
14:44I only want to do it if it's actually going to benefit him and make him feel better.
14:47Just pretending that it didn't happen is not the solution.
14:50Fair.
14:51Even though you want it to because you're the one that messed up.
14:54That's good advice.
14:56I'm not a real confrontational person.
14:58I'm a little bit nervous to bring this up to Sean.
15:00Even though I sent this text message by accident, it's got consequences to it
15:05that could really affect his and my relationship.
15:07It's already kind of strained to start with.
15:09We don't communicate about our feelings that well,
15:11and part of me is just hoping it goes away.
15:15I don't feel like it's benefiting you in any way to avoid it.
15:22We've always said the biology doesn't matter.
15:25He's our kid no matter what kind of thing, right?
15:27It's one thing to say that, and then it's another thing to actually test that limit, right?
15:30How do you feel about not, like you're not on his birth certificate?
15:34So now that you know that you're the bio dad, but you have no legal rights.
15:40Honestly, I haven't really thought about it from that angle.
15:43Do you feel like if the situation were to blow up that you would want to know who fathered who?
15:49I don't think so.
15:50The only way that I can imagine wanting to is if I needed to to fight for my own parental rights or something.
15:56You know what I mean?
15:57It was like, hey, they're trying to keep me away from these kids, and I love them,
16:00and I'm like, last ditch effort, maybe if I can prove this.
16:03Yeah.
16:04But I really don't ever expect to or hope to do that.
16:07I don't like the fact that he doesn't have legal rights to Quentin.
16:11I feel like it could just get really messy.
16:13I feel like they try to avoid that because they don't want that to be the end result.
16:18But I feel like it's a conversation that they have to have.
16:22There's two others that you don't know, like, for a fact.
16:25So, like, that one probably hurt, in a sense, for him to hear.
16:31But, I mean, it's possible that the other two are his.
16:36As Oregon residents, our state law says that the married spouse of the birthing mother goes on a birth certificate.
16:41It's kind of sad to think that even though this is my son, I don't have any legal ties to him,
16:46and I can't be on the birth certificate as a parent.
16:48The biggest thing for me is, if we split up, these are my kids no matter what.
17:01Let's go.
17:03It's like...
17:05He does not seem too enthusiastic about it.
17:08No.
17:09But how can you when you're two months old?
17:12Hey, y'all. Welcome.
17:13Hello.
17:14This is cute.
17:15Hi.
17:16Hi.
17:17This is super cute.
17:18Thanks.
17:19It's good to see you again.
17:20I didn't know, like, okay, who gave birth to you.
17:25I did give birth, but we're both moms.
17:27Both moms.
17:28Okay, because I had seen you a few months ago.
17:32Working out?
17:33Probably more than a few months, but yeah.
17:35Yeah, so I was like, uh...
17:38I knew Tyler previously when he was just married to Alicia.
17:43And then I seen Tyler and Taya together.
17:48That's when, like, I kind of asked something, and then somebody told me, like,
17:52oh, they're a polyamory family.
17:54And I was like, oh.
17:57Oh, God, no.
17:59No.
18:00One is enough.
18:01I couldn't even fathom what that's like to have that complex of a relationship
18:06with three other marital partner factors.
18:12Well, we're going to start seated.
18:14We can bring baby directly underneath of you.
18:17As you move through Cat-Cow, you're going to inhale, lift your hips.
18:21And exhale, get low, give baby kisses.
18:24All right.
18:26I mean, I didn't think that we were going to be doing yoga with a baby doll.
18:31And exhale, get low, give baby kisses.
18:33Oh, wait.
18:34Which way are we supposed to go?
18:37Cowing when you're down, you're catty when you're up.
18:42But no, she's just right in there with the baby doll, doing it along with me.
18:46It's good practice.
18:47We're no stranger to weird.
18:48Nope.
18:50You're more than welcome to hang out with us.
18:52You're more than welcome to hang out.
18:53And Shavasana, take your time.
18:56Wonderful. Thank you so much.
18:57We will be back.
18:58I don't know what that means.
18:59I don't know what it means either.
19:00Shavasana means relaxing on the ground.
19:03I can do that.
19:04A mindful meditation practice.
19:06All I hear is kielbasa.
19:09Kielbasa on the ground.
19:11Oh my goodness.
19:12You guys are hilarious.
19:16So are you excited about your birthday coming up?
19:21I feel like I keep forgetting that my birthday is coming up.
19:23Yeah.
19:24Because there's so much going on.
19:25How much going on when you have a new baby?
19:27I just want some down time, really.
19:29Yeah.
19:31Like seeing my family?
19:33Well, I mean, seeing my family would be fun.
19:35But other than that, I don't really want to go out and do anything.
19:41My 29th birthday is coming up this week.
19:43And I've been in newborn mode with Quentin.
19:45And it kind of stuck up on me.
19:47I don't have anything planned.
19:48Can I just save all the birthday festivities and double up next year?
19:52I mean, we could be extra for 30, but we still need to do something for 29.
19:56Oh.
19:57You don't have to do any of the work.
20:01We'll definitely go to Portland and be with your family.
20:05Okay.
20:06Okay.
20:07You can't not celebrate your birthday.
20:08Like, you're extra.
20:10You love birthdays.
20:11You make them special for everybody else.
20:13So don't worry about the planning.
20:15You're going to enjoy your birthday whether you like it or not.
20:17I just don't want the guys to have any tension.
20:19And there to be, like, this elephant in the room when we're trying to celebrate.
20:22I will make them keep it together.
20:26We'll see.
20:28Go back to sleep.
20:33Happy birthday.
20:34Oh.
20:37I do feel like something is missing.
20:39And that's a connection with a woman.
20:41It's the one need that I can't get met within the rules of our quad.
20:45And it's something that I would like to explore.
21:03Oh my gosh.
21:04Such chaos.
21:05What are you doing?
21:07This weekend for Taya's birthday, we're taking her to Portland to go see her mom and grandparents,
21:11who she's really close to.
21:12And while we're there, we're going to go to a yacht tub,
21:14which is basically a big hot tub in the middle of the river.
21:19It's something that's been on Taya's bucket list for a long time,
21:21and we're really excited to go try it out.
21:24These need to go up there.
21:26Into the boy's bag, too.
21:29Why don't you still grab a different sweatshirt?
21:37With the way things are going for Sean and I right now,
21:39it's probably not the best timing for us to be taking a trip together.
21:41And sometimes we just have to suck it up and do what's best for everybody.
21:44And right now, that's celebrating Taya's birthday and letting her have a good time,
21:47and I'm not going to ruin her birthday over this.
21:50He's probably ready to have his diaper changed.
21:51He smells like crap.
21:52Yeah, he needs his diaper changed.
22:00Getting a family of nine out the door is a big task.
22:04We're missing something.
22:05What are we missing?
22:06I don't know.
22:07What are we missing?
22:08I don't know.
22:09We just have a lot of room left in the car.
22:10It's probably because we don't have the stroller or...
22:12But how much food are we taking?
22:13I mean, like, snacks for the boys.
22:14We have protein shakes.
22:15But those aren't going to go in the back, right?
22:17They're not all just for the car ride.
22:19I have them for the weekend, too, because they don't have all of our snacks there.
22:24Oh, we haven't packed anything for Quentin, I don't think.
22:26Huh?
22:27I don't think we've packed anything for Quentin yet.
22:28You would think in a polyamorous relationship that with more hands,
22:32things are going to be more organized.
22:33You're going to make sure everything's packed and ready to go.
22:36And it's literally quite the opposite.
22:44Why are you throwing a fit?
22:48You want up?
22:56I don't know what Tay and I were thinking when we said we wanted to get pregnant at the same time,
23:00because we definitely were not thinking about the toddler years,
23:03because now they're both two-year-olds and just...
23:08It's absolute chaos, the two of them.
23:11I don't know what we were thinking.
23:13Yeah, we have two just absolutely chaotic little toddlers.
23:16And then we have another baby.
23:22It's going to be a long day.
23:24I'm going to need an extra shot.
23:25I definitely thought you were talking about alcohol.
23:27I'm just like, what?
23:28Yeah, that later.
23:30Caffeine this morning, alcohol in the evening.
23:33Quentin's first family road trip.
23:35Quentin's first trip to Portland.
23:37This is our first family road trip, all nine of us together going...
23:40Road trip, road trip.
23:43We're going to go see Grandma and Grammy and Grandpa, OK?
23:47Maybe Grandpa Ryan later, yeah.
23:49So today, we're going to get to Portland and we're going to unload.
23:55OK.
23:56Not your feelings, the car.
23:59I feel like the guys know better than to let their tension
24:03and their own issues interfere with celebrating Taya's birthday.
24:08Like, if they did let it interfere, I would be pissed.
24:11Yes, they need to have a conversation.
24:13But if they haven't had it yet,
24:15they're definitely not going to have it on my birthday.
24:20We're here.
24:23We're here. You want to get out?
24:25I'm ready to go.
24:27I'm ready to get out.
24:29I cannot wait to see my family.
24:31It's exactly what I wanted for my birthday,
24:33and I'm so thankful for my partners for pulling this off.
24:37Who's that?
24:38Yay!
24:43Say hi, Grandma, Grammy.
24:49Hi.
24:50Surprise, happy birthday.
24:53Surprise, there's balloons.
24:58Oh my gosh, all the hugs.
25:02It's Mama's birthday.
25:06Decorations look great.
25:08Oh, group effort.
25:10Happy birthday.
25:11Happy birthday.
25:12I love.
25:15I absolutely love having all of my people in one place.
25:18Just being around my family in general is rejuvenating for me.
25:22They feel like home, and it's a safe space.
25:25Can I put your shoes back on?
25:27Shoes, boy.
25:28Come here, Kenan, it's all big.
25:30You know what, guys?
25:32Guess what?
25:33You get to hang out with Grammy and Grandpa for the weekend?
25:36Yeah.
25:37Yes, yes.
25:39You've been talking about seeing Grammy and Grandpa all day.
25:43I'm so happy you're here.
25:45Yeah.
25:46Barber, are you hiding?
25:48I absolutely adore Tia's family.
25:49They are so open and welcoming
25:51and have become my family as well
25:54when I have my own complications
25:56and strained relationship with my own family.
25:59I couldn't have asked for a better family to be part of.
26:03Barret, Barret.
26:05Should we give Mama her present here soon?
26:08Yeah.
26:09You want to give Mama her present?
26:10Yeah.
26:11You want to help me carry it?
26:12No.
26:13But you have to.
26:14It's bigger than Barret.
26:15No.
26:16Okay.
26:17Let's go give Mama her gift.
26:18Let's go give Mama her gift.
26:20Okay.
26:21Let's go give it to her.
26:24What do you have?
26:25Let's give it to Mama.
26:26Mama's going to open it, okay?
26:28Barret, it's for Mama.
26:29Mama's going to open it.
26:30Do you want to come sit here while we can watch Mama open it?
26:32Yeah.
26:33Come here.
26:34Are you going to help me?
26:35This is so cute.
26:36Isn't it?
26:37It is.
26:38Oh, my God.
26:39I love it.
26:41You're welcome.
26:42Mmm.
26:43Smell it.
26:44What do you mean?
26:45He licked it.
26:47Smell it.
26:50What is that?
26:51Does it smell good?
26:52Smell it.
26:55Good job.
26:56Don't lick it.
26:58Happy birthday.
27:00Happy birthday.
27:01Happy birthday.
27:02Happy birthday.
27:03No, I'm very excited.
27:07If there was anything that my parents had feelings about in terms of accepting Dylan and Raina
27:14and then the younger boys as their own grandkids, they didn't let me know it.
27:19They accepted them and loved them without missing a beat.
27:22And I'm very, very thankful for that.
27:25Can you give Mama kisses?
27:26No, he's got food in his mouth.
27:27He's good.
27:37Okay.
27:38All right.
27:39Loaded in most of the stuff.
27:42Even when we're on a trip, our rules don't change.
27:44So tonight's my night with Sean, and I'll spend the night with him, and then the guys
27:47will switch like normal.
27:48Yeah.
27:49How much are you guys doing in here?
27:50Oh, just chaos, you know.
27:52Yeah, usual.
27:53Yeah.
27:54I know we were at my grandparents' one time, and they mentioned like, who are you with
27:58tonight?
27:59Because it came up in relevance.
28:00I don't even remember what the relevance was, but it was so funny to me that they asked.
28:04The kids will ask us too, and I always find that funny.
28:06How does it feel to be back in Portland?
28:08Good.
28:09I'm happy to see my family.
28:11I know.
28:12I'm excited.
28:13It's kind of weird to be back.
28:14Like, we haven't, we don't hang out here enough anymore.
28:16I know.
28:17We lived in Portland for a long time, you know, for our whole lives before we decided
28:20to move two hours away to be with Tyler and Alicia.
28:23Someplace that holds, it's very special to us because that's where we met.
28:26So now that we can share that with Tyler and Alicia, that's actually pretty special for
28:29us.
28:30This should be a fun weekend though.
28:32I mean, fun-ish.
28:34Yeah.
28:35Are you, are you worried at all?
28:37No.
28:38I mean, I think we were pretty good at like, setting things aside and just trying to not
28:44ruin the moment, but it's still, it'd be better if it wasn't this awkward tension kind of
28:48hanging out there.
28:49Yeah.
28:50I definitely feel like I'm Tyler's person and vice versa.
28:52Him and I, I don't hold back around him.
28:55I know that Tyler is a safe space for me to talk to and he knows that I'm the same thing
29:01for him.
29:02Is Sean your person?
29:06I wouldn't call Sean my person.
29:09I feel like we still have some walls up when it comes to our communication and being able
29:15to confide in each other.
29:17So until we can be 100% honest without fear of how the other person's going to react,
29:23I, I wouldn't say that that's your person.
29:27I was talking with Kelsey about it and she really thinks he and I, that Sean and I should
29:31sit down and have a talk about this whole thing, but it's just, it doesn't always go
29:35well.
29:36If he's already having big emotions about this whole blood type thing, I don't want
29:38to stir that up even worse and make things more intense than they need to be.
29:42Well, I mean, if you wanted to have a conversation this weekend, there's time.
29:46Like we could, Tay and I and the grandparents and Jill and stuff will be with the kids and
29:52this might be a good opportunity for you guys to be able to go and talk.
29:56I mean, yes.
29:57I just, as long as that's not going to mess things up for the weekend here is the thing,
30:01I guess.
30:02I think that it would probably be preferred.
30:04The whole point of doing this is to make things better for him because I'm okay, but there's,
30:09I feel like there's a bunch of ways that I can mess this up and have it just make things
30:13worse.
30:14I can speak from experience trying to avoid the conversations has not, I mean, that doesn't
30:21solve anything.
30:23Even though I'm really not dying to have this conversation with Sean, putting it off is
30:26not going to make it better, but I'm worried that it doesn't matter that it was a mistake,
30:31it's just going to be a problem for us.
30:33And then it's going to drive a wedge between us.
30:35We can't keep putting this off and pretend nothing's wrong.
30:37We have to deal with this.
30:45For something like so big to be just like a nonchalant text, it just feels real, real
30:51crappy.
30:52I just want to reach to the phone and be like, what the is your problem?
30:54I mean, not thinking about it.
30:55Dude, you don't need to parent me.
30:56I don't need that.
30:57We're grown men.
30:58Let's figure this out.
30:59Yeah, but like, maybe if I was parenting you, this would have happened.
31:08Oh my gosh, that's so cool.
31:09Is that a floating drink carrier?
31:11What?
31:12Hello.
31:13Welcome to your yacht tub.
31:14How are we doing today?
31:15Doing great.
31:16Good, good.
31:17I want to get you guys in this tub as fast as possible.
31:18To do so, what we're going to do is shoes will go here into the white bucket.
31:22If you have any loose cell phones in your hands, you can hand those over to Hillary
31:25and she'll get those placed in the dry box for you as well.
31:28Okay.
31:29All right.
31:30Let's do this.
31:31I'm so excited about yacht tubs.
31:32Yeah.
31:33I'm pretty jacked about the yacht tubs.
31:34I mean.
31:35Sean loves to be bougie.
31:36I do.
31:37It's one of my favorite things to do in the whole wide world.
31:40I mean.
31:41He loves to pretend like we have money.
31:43Oh boy, mateys.
31:52Oh my gosh.
31:54I'm overwhelmed.
31:55Do it.
31:57Keep going.
31:58No, no.
32:00Oh my God.
32:01I mean, isn't it done enough?
32:02I think we're done.
32:05Today is not about Sean and me.
32:07It's about Taya.
32:08Making sure that she feels loved and celebrated.
32:12And that's what I'm going to focus on.
32:14Sean and I can deal with our stuff after the fact.
32:16And we will.
32:19I'm hot.
32:20We need a hot tub.
32:21Agreed.
32:22I'm a little warm.
32:23We don't necessarily need a hot tub yacht.
32:24Remember at the first house we had a hot tub?
32:26And we did.
32:27And it was hot.
32:28Naked hot tub nights.
32:29Naked hot tub nights.
32:30Those were the best.
32:31Yeah, we did naked hot tub nights all the time.
32:33I feel like I was frowned upon here.
32:35Yeah, no, no, no.
32:36I wasn't suggesting this would be naked hot tub time.
32:38Come on.
32:39Chat.
32:40Naked hot tub nights were the nights back in our old house.
32:42We had a hot tub.
32:43And it just made more sense to do naked hot tubs.
32:45Like, why would you want to wear clothes in your own hot tub?
32:48If you're going into the hot tub every night,
32:49like, you don't want to wash your swimsuit every single night.
32:51So we all have seen each other naked.
32:54Might as well get in a hot tub together.
32:57Touch the husband.
32:59Stop it.
33:00Stop it.
33:01Oh, happy birthday.
33:02Oh, my God.
33:03Oh, God.
33:06Your love is freaking Leisha out.
33:08Happy birthday.
33:09Oh.
33:13You left her hanging on her birthday?
33:15Fine.
33:16No, no, I don't want it.
33:17Okay.
33:18Whatever.
33:20I love girls a lot more when I'm drinking.
33:22Oh.
33:23She says with alcohol on hand.
33:25Oh, my gosh.
33:26Stop it.
33:28So I consider myself pansexual.
33:30And Leisha and I have fun together flirting back and forth.
33:33But she's straight.
33:37The way that our dynamic is and her sexuality,
33:40it just doesn't line up.
33:43Happy birthday.
33:45Happy birthday.
33:47I love my family, and I love my life.
33:49But I do feel like something is missing,
33:51and that's a connection with a woman.
33:53It's the one need that I can't get met within the rules of our quad,
33:57and it's something that I would like to explore.
34:01Cheers.
34:02Happy birthday.
34:03To Mama's day out.
34:16All is fair in love and war.
34:26I've asked Sean to come to lunch with me
34:28and talk about this whole blood type situation.
34:30Things have been pretty tense.
34:32I mean, I'm really glad that Sean and I waited
34:34until after Taya's birthday to have this conversation,
34:36but now it's time.
34:39Hey.
34:40Hey.
34:41What's up, man?
34:42Well, you know.
34:47I mean, I don't really know why I'm here.
34:49Tyler asked me to be here to talk about things,
34:52so I'm hoping that he starts talking at some point,
34:55so we'll see how it goes.
34:58How was everybody at the house when you left?
35:00Everyone was good.
35:02Kids were good.
35:03Parents were sure good, so yeah.
35:08I don't know, man.
35:09I feel like things have been kind of weird
35:11since the whole blood type situation with the texts.
35:13I don't know how you're doing.
35:14I just, I feel like I want to give you some space
35:17to stay with it, but...
35:20I'm a little bit of everything.
35:21I hurt, angry, the whole thing,
35:23just because, like, we had this talk about,
35:26like, we're not going to do this.
35:27We're not going to talk, we're not going to find out,
35:29and then, I don't know,
35:30just a casual text that comes through that says blood type.
35:33All I could think of was, like,
35:34damn, Tyler, you've got to freaking think
35:36before you send texts.
35:37Like, for something, like, so big
35:39to be just a text,
35:40for something, like, so big
35:42to be just, like, a nonchalant text
35:44is just, it just feels real, real crappy.
35:47I don't know, it's just like...
35:50I just want to reach the phone and be like,
35:52what the f*** is your problem?
35:54Are you not thinking about it?
35:56The way you're talking to me right now,
35:57it's just, it brings back everything else.
35:59We have these parenting conflicts.
36:00Dude, you don't need to parent me.
36:01I don't need that.
36:02We're grown men.
36:03Let's figure this out.
36:04Yeah, but, like, maybe if I was parenting you,
36:06this s*** would have happened.
36:10Finding out that it's not biologically mine,
36:12like, that just...
36:13You took something away from me
36:14that you didn't even think about.
36:15It just, it's really, really s***.
36:17And how are you,
36:18how would you think that's not malicious?
36:19Did you...
36:20I mean, we have issues
36:21with already parenting Rayna
36:22that we haven't even talked about.
36:23And now this whole thing, how am I,
36:24how are you not...
36:25Am I not supposed to think this is malicious?
36:26Right?
36:27You know, we talked about this
36:28when I was like,
36:29we're gonna be like,
36:30we're gonna be like,
36:31we're gonna be like,
36:32we're gonna be like,
36:33we're gonna be like,
36:34we're gonna be like,
36:35we're gonna be like,
36:36we're gonna be like,
36:37and now this whole thing, how am I, how are you not,
36:39am I not supposed to think it's malicious?
36:40Like, how, how am I not supposed to think that when,
36:42you're being malicious when I get home
36:43and I just want to hang out with the kids for a minute
36:45and I can't even get that without getting on.
36:48I feel like we have agreements in like, you know,
36:49because you want to see the kids.
36:50It's like, okay, those agreements don't really matter to me
36:52because I work so many hours and like that.
36:54And you come home and it's like, I want to see the kids,
36:56even though she's grounded and she's not supposed,
36:57she's got to get done with her stuff
36:58and get back downstairs.
36:59Like, that's, that's how I feel.
37:02It feels like I have to parent you in that moment.
37:06The thing is, it's not just about consequences
37:08with the kids all the time.
37:08There's more to that.
37:09I don't, I'm thinking long-term too.
37:11I want them to grow up feeling connected and involved,
37:13involved and loved by their family,
37:15regardless of if they screw up.
37:15I don't want them to think, man,
37:17if I'm an adult and I mess up,
37:18they're just going to punish me and push me out.
37:19Like, we need to be connected to them too.
37:21Yeah, but I don't think I'm doing that.
37:22I'm thinking that a consequence doesn't mean
37:24that you're not cared for at home.
37:25I feel it means the complete opposite.
37:27Like, this has always been a point of contention
37:30when it comes to Dylan and Rayna.
37:32In the beginning, you know, it was always,
37:34you know, it was always your kids
37:36and then us is what it was feeling like.
37:37Even though it was never said,
37:38it's that feeling, that tension in the air.
37:40And now, finding out this information,
37:43it, you know, it's scary because it's like, what the hell?
37:45Like, now I have no biological connection to one more kid,
37:48which means I have no,
37:50technically would have no rights anywhere with this kid.
37:52Like, that's scary to me.
37:53Like, if this ever doesn't, if this ever goes away,
37:56like, you don't have to think about that.
37:58Knowing our history and knowing that Tyler has said things
38:01on purpose to hurt my feelings
38:03and threatening to take the kids away
38:04and threatening to end the relationship
38:05and all that stuff.
38:06When this, when the text message like this happens
38:09or we have a disagreement about parenting,
38:10it just kind of, my brain goes back there immediately
38:13because I don't have a lot of power in this situation
38:19when it comes to the kids.
38:21I mean, right now I'm down to two that might be mine.
38:25So if it were to hit the fan,
38:27like, I know that for sure three kids
38:29could be taken away from me, maybe all of them.
38:32And so that's just really scary.
38:34You're not having rights to the kids because of biology?
38:36I'm the one that doesn't have any rights to Quentin,
38:38really, because your name's on the birth certificate.
38:41It doesn't matter what's on the birth certificate.
38:42Biology is going to trump that any day.
38:43Not in court.
38:45I mean, I have a hard time saying
38:47that I'm this kid's biological dad.
38:49I want, I want to be whatever,
38:51if this breaks up and take away my rights,
38:53which it would take my, that would be a no brainer.
38:55You know, to me, at least to me, it sounds like,
38:58I feel, I feel like that, like, biology,
39:00that's why we're in some of the problems
39:01that we're in right now,
39:02because biology does trump everything.
39:06I mean, there's a lot of fears with, you know,
39:08not being biologically attached to somebody,
39:11especially in our dynamic, you know.
39:12Just because I'm on the birth certificate
39:13doesn't mean that Tyler couldn't,
39:15if we get all split up, Tyler couldn't go to court
39:17and have me taken off the birth certificate
39:19and have him self put on there.
39:20Like, I, I don't think that'd be a very hard thing
39:23for him to do, you know, it's just,
39:26it's pretty damn scary.
39:28I hear you, but that's not what I was trying to do here.
39:33And I don't know how to convey that to you.
39:34I wasn't trying to hurt you.
39:36I'm really sorry that I did.
39:37No, I hear you.
39:38It's just, there's a lot more to it
39:39than just finding out blood type.
39:41Like, it's so much more for me
39:43just because of all the stuff that's happened.
39:44I know that we're very different
39:46and we've said before that maybe we wouldn't become friends
39:48if we hadn't met through this relationship and stuff,
39:50but here we are, and I think we owe it to each other
39:53and our family to try to be closer
39:55and have a better understanding of each other to do this.
39:58Yeah, I mean, that's probably what we need to do.
40:01It's like, I mean, what do you want to do?
40:03You want to go see plays on the weekend,
40:04like together, like hold hands?
40:06Are you like, that's probably not going to happen, right?
40:08Like, so we just need to, I mean,
40:10it'll work out or it won't work out.
40:11Like, we're going to do our best,
40:13but we have other partners, we have other kids.
40:15Our relationship's not going to ever come first.
40:17So it's just, you know, it is what it is.
40:26Next time on Pauly Family.
40:28We got to bring up individual dates.
40:30When?
40:31That's what we need to talk about.
40:32Since we've been on newborn baby mode,
40:34romance has kind of taken a backseat.
40:35So I think it's pretty important
40:37that we start scheduling some time
40:38to just have that intimate, special time with our partners.
40:41Now you're figuring who you're going with.
40:44Look at that.
40:46And the winner is...
40:48Pear.
40:49Yay!
40:52I think my biggest jealousy
40:55when it comes to Taya and Tyler is just,
40:57I feel like there's an undeniable
40:59physical attraction between them.
41:00It almost looks like they're more in love than him and I.
41:06I know we've talked about the third party option stuff,
41:08but I'd really like to jump into that.
41:10Since finding out that Tyler is most likely
41:12the biological father of Quentin,
41:14I'm scared that if something goes south,
41:16that biology is going to trump everything
41:17that we put into place,
41:18that I could be taken off the birth certificate.
41:20Meeting with his attorney is more important now than ever.
41:22So do we know the paternity of the three children
41:25that were born during this relationship?
41:29Hi.
41:30You look so cute.
41:32Did you ever date Lex?
41:34She's somebody who I could see myself dating, but no.
41:37Since we're closed and the craziness of life,
41:41I don't think that's going to change anytime soon.
41:43So we have not dated.
41:44You're amazing.