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#SisterWives
#SisterWives
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00:00Previously on Sister Wives One-on-One, did you respect them?
00:08Um, I was younger.
00:10I think I actually had way more respect for Mary than I did for Janelle,
00:15and probably way more respect for Janelle and Mary than I did for Christine, to be fair.
00:21I don't like that.
00:23That's hard.
00:25Do you think it didn't respect me?
00:26I'm hoping that there were some times when it did.
00:30I had moved on a long time ago, but let's just be honest here.
00:33I was afraid of what she would do if I ripped off that Band-Aid.
00:40That was the stupidest comment.
00:42That's the zinger.
00:43I'm like, what?
00:45She's like, what do you think she's going to do?
00:47Is she trying to paint her like some sort of psychotic killer?
00:51I don't know.
00:51I don't know.
00:52I don't know.
00:53Do you think Cody has bias when it comes to you?
00:57Uh, I don't think so.
01:03Okay.
01:03Listen, Suki.
01:04Right?
01:05I want to shut you down now.
01:07I know you guys want to talk.
01:08You can't shut me down.
01:08Yeah, I can.
01:09No, you can't.
01:09I don't have to say the answer.
01:12And so I think in a lot of ways, he's made himself even more villainous, I guess,
01:18to kind of take away some of the blame from her.
01:21This is just gospel according to doubt.
01:23Remember the conversation that you had and you said you'd love to take David out on a
01:27guy's weekend?
01:28He was kind of up for it.
01:29Really?
01:30And she actually said, yeah, a possible double date in the future.
01:34She was open to it.
01:35You know, we just haven't healed that much.
01:37Have you seen each other that much to heal?
01:41No, Christine's very undermining.
01:43I don't think so.
01:43What do you got to lose, Cody?
01:47There's nothing left to say right now about that.
01:55Here in Sedona, Arizona, I'm sitting down with Cody, Mary, Robin, Christine and David,
02:03and Janelle to talk about their future and dive deeper into their past.
02:09This is Sister Wives One on One.
02:13All right, so let's talk about tension, and Coyote Pass has been really that source of
02:20tension for you.
02:22Where do things stand right now?
02:24Well, currently, the property's paid off.
02:25We're just in this process of figuring out, like, how to divide it so that we each have
02:32it in our names.
02:33Why is there so much distrust in the family over Coyote Pass?
02:38I think we just haven't proven to each other that we can trust each other.
02:46I guess.
02:47Obviously, the family's falling apart or has fallen apart.
02:52And so now it's like, well, who is going to have my back?
02:55Because the reason why we didn't stay together, one of the main reasons, in my opinion, is
03:00that we didn't have each other's backs.
03:02So why would we have each other's backs now with the property?
03:05All I can do is just take in the information and figure out, like, what to do about it
03:11on my own.
03:12All right.
03:12There were a lot of things said about Coyote Pass.
03:14So let's take a look at this clip and find out how you feel about it and where you stand.
03:18Okay.
03:18So the first two-acre lot is Coyote and I.
03:22The second two-acre lot is Coyote and Robin.
03:24The third is a four-acre lot, and it's Mary, myself, and Coyote.
03:29And then the five-acre lot, because Christine quick-claimed it, is Coyote and Robin.
03:34Janelle asks me about the property all the time, but I don't trust her anymore, and so
03:37I don't give her any information.
03:39I have been under the impression that you're the one who's been taking care of all the family
03:43finances.
03:43All I am is the bookkeeper.
03:45I'm going to suggest to you that you protect your interest in it as far as what you're entitled
03:50to a quarter of it.
03:51I'm only legally a third owner of one of the four parcels.
03:58So I'll find the realtor and we'll sell it and blah, blah, blah.
04:01And I'm like, wait a second.
04:03Yeah.
04:04I don't think that you get to decide that we sell it and know what we do with it.
04:09When you get an offer, okay, I'll email them and I'll say, I've got this realtor.
04:13We've got an offer.
04:14Here's how we will do this.
04:15If you guys agree, because they don't legally have to agree, even though a couple of them
04:20are partners on different lots.
04:22It's a matter of just getting their permission.
04:24I see it very different than those complaining about the money.
04:28I can add up all the things that were paid by somebody else for something.
04:34I'm so mad.
04:35I'm afraid of the wrath that we're going to get.
04:40But Mary, he says so much stuff about us publicly.
04:42What else is he going to say?
04:43I'm really just frustrated with the way that this whole thing has gone down.
04:47It's like so stupid.
04:49It's like, can't you just...
04:52Be fair here.
04:52Just be fair.
04:54Like, it blows my mind that he's like stonewalling us with this.
04:58So the big question is, why were the lots divided up that way in the first place?
05:02So I haven't seen all of that.
05:05And I just saw where he said, legally, I don't have to have their approval.
05:09That doesn't make me happy.
05:11Makes me really frustrated that he says that he can do.
05:15But I mean, look at it.
05:16Look at it.
05:17His name is on every piece of property.
05:19He could do whatever he wanted.
05:21But why was it divided that way?
05:23And do you think he did it on purpose?
05:25I have no idea.
05:26I remember getting in trouble for asking the question when we were still living in Las Vegas.
05:34And I found out that that's how the property was divided.
05:38And I asked the question and I got in trouble.
05:40It's like, why are you checking up on it?
05:41Why are you, you know, it's like, gosh, this is, anyway, it was just this whole big thing.
05:46Who was that that you're talking about?
05:47It was Cody and Robin.
05:48I do remember I would ask him about the property.
05:51And he would always get mad when I'd ask him about it.
05:54He would always be angry, like, that I was asking, like, well, what do you think?
05:57Who do you think is going to take care of you?
05:59And I'm like, I don't think you're taking care of me.
06:00And that used to make him so mad.
06:02Okay.
06:03We had several fights over it.
06:04Like, just, who's watching out for me?
06:07So when you say that you can't trust him, have there been instances in the past where
06:12he hasn't been fair?
06:14In some way, he always seems to come out ahead financially on a deal.
06:19I just think he's always looking out for himself and now for Robin and himself.
06:23He just always somehow thinks he's somehow entitled to more, which is just, it's astounding.
06:29I think he really is just kind of inherently selfish.
06:32All right.
06:32So when it comes to Coyote Pass, do you think Cody is going to be fair
06:36to all of the other women when it comes to the division of what the asset should be?
06:42Absolutely not.
06:43He's just not a fair person.
06:44He's very greedy when it comes down to money.
06:46Why?
06:47He just takes care of himself.
06:48Takes care of himself.
06:49He sees what he needs to do and he just does what is right for him and what is right for Robin.
06:53And I think that he's going to screw Mary and Janelle completely.
06:56Are there other examples where Cody just has not been fair and just in?
07:01With money?
07:01Yeah.
07:02Like, we didn't know.
07:03We never knew what the other wives were getting money-wise.
07:05We just understood what we had, but Janelle saw it all.
07:08And Janelle doesn't say much and she's very tight-lipped, but she's like, hmm, there were
07:13I saw where all the money was going and how much money Cody took and how much money Robin
07:18took was a lot more than you were taking.
07:20And it was more than anybody else was taking.
07:22And I'm like, why is that fair?
07:23And then Cody would just decide to buy tons of like whatever assets that he would call
07:28assets and he would just go spend family money on that.
07:30There was no reason for them to think that I wasn't going to be fair.
07:33Well, it feels like there was some distrust there that you weren't going to be fair.
07:37It's because Janelle and Mary are both leaving me going, wish I had some way to get alimony.
07:43It's like, well, what are you going to come after me for money later?
07:46But they're not legally married.
07:48So they don't have any legal grounds to anything, really, except this one thing that their name's wrong.
07:53I know, but there still was a disparity.
07:56I mean, our first.
08:01The first corporate paycheck.
08:05Robin never received any of the money.
08:08When we bought our houses, Robin's kickback from the house went to other family members.
08:15Okay, so just going big picture here.
08:18We were all working together.
08:20But now that the older children are through school and we all work together to buy their cars,
08:28to help them, to pay them and stuff like that.
08:31Now we're all separate and nobody's helping with the younger children.
08:35But why does he always feel entitled to more?
08:37I don't know.
08:38Because he always wants to bring up this thing.
08:40Well, somebody paid this.
08:41And I'm like, dude, if you want to go all the way back, and I have all those records because I'm the bookkeeper.
08:47I can show you where all the back and forth happened.
08:49And nobody is left holding the bag here.
08:51How I guess I always thought it worked and how it did work for a long time was we would all come together and decide,
08:58okay, who has the biggest need?
09:00What debts do we need to pay?
09:01What are we doing with the money, right?
09:03And Cody always had a little bit of discretion.
09:05If one wife needed something and it didn't really necessarily need to be discussed with everybody, you know, he could do that.
09:10He could spend that money.
09:12I feel like that I have contributed a lot to the family and it's not recognized.
09:20And, you know, it wasn't until I sat there and had a conversation with Cody and Robin and my accountant showing them this is how I've contributed, you know, because this was years ago.
09:36And after that, he was like, oh, okay.
09:39Because I think that he thought that I was keeping money from him or from the family.
09:43I'm like, no, let me show you what I have contributed.
09:46Has there been other examples of when you've gotten less, but you've put in just the same amount as everybody else?
09:54I can pull my financial records.
09:57I can pull proof of, you know, paying for my own kids' college, even though half of the family wants to say that I pulled it from the, you know, from the family fund and things like that.
10:06Like, I have proof.
10:08But Mary did say that she helped the children.
10:10Everybody did.
10:11But she just said she didn't get any help in return, that she put her kids, her kid, through college.
10:20We all help pay for Mary's house.
10:24Listen, it'll all be fine in the end.
10:29I think that, you know, when you're bringing up the dramatic things in your life,
10:40there's certain things that you want to say are sacred cows.
10:43We're not going to talk about sex.
10:44We're not going to talk about money.
10:46Now sex and money are on the table, I guess.
10:48I feel like I've gone into this situation, like, very trusting of everybody in my family.
10:57And then I hear all the different things.
11:00Like, Janelle was saying, no, I haven't been in charge of the finances.
11:03And Cody and Robin have said, yeah, she has been.
11:06And I'm just like, anyway.
11:07So it's a lot of pointing fingers.
11:11And, you know, at this point, I'm just like, can we just, like, get it done?
11:15And then I don't have to deal with you guys.
11:17Because I don't know which one of you to trust.
11:19I don't know which one of you to believe.
11:20It's like nobody understood the bookkeeping.
11:22We were all entangled with each other in this strange way.
11:26The debts hadn't been paid.
11:28And they had to be paid.
11:29So I was trying to straighten out a mess that I was handed to by Janelle.
11:37Because Janelle didn't handle the debts.
11:41Because she had a different perspective before her and I broke up about how things should be.
11:49She had too much influence on our money.
11:51And in the end, we're just getting a straight note at the end.
11:55Why does everyone think you're in charge of the finances?
11:57I mean, everyone.
11:58Yeah, no, this is something I've begun to realize.
12:01Because Cody was always telling everybody that I was somehow calling the shots on the money.
12:05It's interesting, and I've started to observe that Cody likes to, he's attacked all of his wives that are leaving in the area that hurts them the most.
12:12Or that they pride, or that they value, right?
12:15For Christine, it was devastating that he wasn't physically attracted to her.
12:19And for me, I really, I'm one of those people who wants to be very fiscally responsible.
12:24I'm very about, like, let's be responsible with our money.
12:26And so he wants to, like, sort of undermine that or try to undermine that for me.
12:32It's wild to me that he was telling everybody that I was in charge.
12:36Yeah, with her finances, knocking her down so she doesn't feel smart.
12:39Yeah.
12:39Oh, yeah.
12:40That's rude.
12:41He knows the buttons to push.
12:43So with me, it was like, no, we're not going to be intimate anymore.
12:46Then he'd be like, well, you know, you could do this, and you could do this, and you could do this, and put it all on everybody else.
12:51He knows how to push the buttons, but he doesn't know how to take accountability for the fact that he just pushed a button.
12:56So he knows what your weaknesses are?
12:57Yeah, isn't that so sad?
12:59And he uses them against you.
13:00Like, he knew what I craved more than anything would have been like an intimate romantic marriage and relationship.
13:06So, yeah, he knew.
13:08Yeah.
13:08I think that there, like I said, is a recency bias, and I feel like that there's rewriting of history a lot, and I feel like now it's all about getting even with each other, and I feel like it's all about, you know, trashing each other.
13:27And I'm like, okay, let's just be real here.
13:31Let's be honest about what actually was happening.
13:34It's okay to say, well, he was really good at this, or she was really good at this, or she was really wonderful this way, or, you know, I just feel like it, to sit there and go, they were all bad.
13:47It's just not realistic.
13:48I do think that there was a cycle of love-bombing, and then, like, almost kind of like a wind-down.
13:59I'm trying to figure out what the love-bomb is.
14:01Okay.
14:02For a narcissist, there's a cycle where you love-bomb, and then you sort of, there sort of is a waning, and then you almost kind of, like, destroy or hurt them.
14:12And then to fix it, you come back in and you love-bomb, and so there was kind of this cycle.
14:17Do you use the word narcissist?
14:18Are you saying Cody's a narcissist?
14:19No, because I am not qualified to diagnose him, but he, I guess everybody will have to decide.
14:26I'm not a psychologist.
14:27I'm not a psychiatrist.
14:28I read pop culture.
14:29I have no idea.
14:30But it does seem like there's quite a lot of similarities.
14:35Coming up.
14:37Like, in a plural marriage, she could have never done that.
14:40Christine eating David's face is, uh, that's, that's a monogamous thing.
14:46What's changed?
14:47I know.
14:48I, everything.
14:50Confidence.
14:51Confidence has changed.
14:52I can just be me.
14:56It feels like the relationship with Cody feels kind of surface level.
15:02I didn't think so at the time.
15:03Okay.
15:04I really didn't.
15:04I thought what we had, um, for a long time was just fun.
15:09And it was just a blast.
15:11You know, we just had a lot of good times.
15:13When he married Robin, that's where I was like, oh, there definitely is something missing here.
15:19But at that point, there was, we'd already, um, it was already, like, so almost over anyway.
15:25But it wasn't a real true intimacy.
15:27That wasn't taking care of me emotionally, romantically, physically, financially, nothing.
15:32I was independent at that point.
15:34Yeah.
15:34You were, I hate to say this, but in the beginning of your marriage, you were physically, um,
15:42taken care of.
15:43It was, yeah.
15:44But in the end, the sex got.
15:46No.
15:47The sex was just an act.
15:48Just an act.
15:50No real emotion behind it or anything.
15:53And how did that make you feel?
15:55You just know it's different.
15:55Well, it just, you, like, I'm used as a word, but maybe he felt used to.
15:59Like, we would just use each other.
16:01It didn't mean anything.
16:01Was it like?
16:03Maybe just, um, apathetic.
16:05Probably apathetic.
16:06It was kind of like, I guess this kind of have to, maybe there was just a need, just a physical
16:11need that was met.
16:12It was an obligation, a marital obligation to do this?
16:15Probably for both of us.
16:16Yeah.
16:16Yeah.
16:17Sad.
16:18The sex was never, um, God, it was just so broken.
16:24It was broken.
16:25Did you ever say, Cody, this sucks?
16:26We didn't talk about it.
16:27Yeah.
16:28No.
16:28Did not talk about it.
16:30Because we both knew there was something lacking and something missing.
16:33And when you have sex five times in a year, you realize there's a problem, you know?
16:37And it's like, we really want to talk about it?
16:39So we had one conversation on intimacy.
16:42And it was like, are we going to have any kind of intimacy sex in our marriage?
16:47And he was like, no.
16:49And so the next time he'd come over, I'm like, you're done.
16:50You're not staying here anymore.
16:51I don't want you to go to my bed.
16:53We're done.
16:53Yeah.
16:53Christine was a good time experience.
16:57When it came down to the nuts and bolts of real relationship, the two of us both struggled.
17:02Like, um, it, um, this is where I get so sober, it's almost sad.
17:11We've got all these children.
17:13They're just beautiful.
17:14They're special people.
17:15And I'm really glad for that.
17:17And for the sake of the experience, like I'm excited for her to have this kind of love and this kind of experience, this kind of falling in love, having somebody she's just passionate about, somebody who's just digging on her.
17:28You know, I mean, that's great.
17:30And that's because, um, that's really the kind of romance she always wanted.
17:35And it was a romance that her and I were struggling to find.
17:38And now they've got it.
17:40When I left Cody, I decided that I was going to have sex with the guy that I'd be married to.
17:47Like, full on, it was going to happen.
17:48You know, we were going to make love first because I needed to make sure there was going to be physical attraction before, um, I would settle into a relationship with somebody.
17:58Then I met you and it was like what we had was something so special and something so beautiful.
18:03We just naturally moved into everything.
18:06And also you were a grown woman.
18:07So sex before marriage is, is, is completely okay.
18:10I'm a grown woman.
18:11I know what I had before and I know what I want in the future.
18:14And so for us, once we made that step, it was like at that point I was already committed and it was going to be like, I wouldn't have done it if I didn't know there was a commitment there.
18:23It's really interesting to see how much you've moved on in your life.
18:26And I want us to, uh, talk about this because is it a comfortable feeling?
18:31Is it an uncomfortable feeling?
18:32And is it the right feeling for you that you've always wanted and you didn't know until you had it?
18:39Can we watch this clip?
18:40Is it going to be that wedding one?
18:42Um.
18:42Probably is.
18:43It's a good one.
18:44It's a good one.
18:45Oh, that's great.
18:45I'm always for it.
18:48You're making me laugh.
18:49Let's watch this and see what's going on.
18:51All right.
18:52I mean, Cody and I were always very affectionate, but I was always uncomfortable.
18:56Like, I just was uncomfortable with PDA in front of everybody.
18:59I like doing PDA now, but, uh, Robin's very shy.
19:06This is so gross.
19:08Ew.
19:09How is that with you guys seeing me physically affectionate?
19:12I like it.
19:13We kiss and we hug in front of our kids.
19:15And David and I just don't care.
19:18Can I beat you?
19:19Done.
19:20Oh, my gosh.
19:21Oh, you're desperate for, for some affection.
19:27Yeah, my mom always wanted more physical affection from dad.
19:31And so now she's going to have physical affection with publicly as much as she wants.
19:36Say something for tonight.
19:49Oh, we are.
19:55And that's all that needs to be said.
20:00Peyton got the last word on that one.
20:01Oh, my gosh.
20:02That was perfect.
20:03He does seem to get the last word.
20:04Oh, my gosh.
20:07That's fun.
20:08It's fun, right?
20:09What's changed?
20:10I know.
20:11I, everything.
20:13Confidence.
20:14Confidence is what changed.
20:15I can just be me.
20:17Who knew?
20:17I, this public display, I mean, so forever, my kids didn't even see me being affectionate.
20:22They, they just didn't.
20:24And, but with David, I.
20:26I make her believe in herself that she's, can do it all.
20:29I just know that she has it in her and she just want to hold back.
20:33I'm like, no, bring it out.
20:34I love it all.
20:35Yeah, just, just be me.
20:37There's times when she thinks I'm going to get upset and I don't.
20:39Uh-huh.
20:40No.
20:40I'm like, no, we're good.
20:41We're good.
20:42And she's like, okay, good.
20:43Did you feel like she was starved to express that?
20:46Oh, yeah.
20:46She needed the affection.
20:48You're starving, yes.
20:49Yeah.
20:50And this is what, why we connected so well is because what she needed, I could give to
20:55her.
20:56So.
20:57Nice, right?
20:58Yeah.
20:59Oh, gosh.
21:00Even Peyton's uncomfortable.
21:01That's funny.
21:02How did that feel?
21:05I have.
21:05Is it surprising you?
21:07Not really.
21:08I mean, I think it's really what Christine wanted.
21:11I mean, I'm pretty impressed with her ability to manifest.
21:14Mm-hmm.
21:15Like, in a plural marriage, she could have never done that.
21:18Christine eating David's face is, uh, that's, that's a monogamous thing.
21:24Yeah.
21:25Sort of.
21:25My best bet that I, is that she got her whole day.
21:31You see those things called a kiss cam?
21:32Yeah.
21:32Okay.
21:33So.
21:34Yeah.
21:35I've got the kiss cam on you.
21:36Uh.
21:38And.
21:41It just comes very naturally.
21:42Mm-hmm.
21:43Yeah.
21:44My leg is always over on top of this.
21:45Oh, it's always.
21:46When we're sitting there, she puts her leg on.
21:48Always.
21:48My leg all the time.
21:49You're blushing.
21:50I know.
21:51No.
21:52You're blushing.
21:53We'll talk.
21:53I know.
21:53In the mornings when we wake up.
21:55We'll talk when we're going to bed.
21:56Mm-hmm.
21:56Always.
21:57David, you got the magic sauce.
21:59I know.
21:59He is the magic sauce.
22:01He is.
22:01I wish every woman would feel like this.
22:04There's a lot of kissing.
22:05Mm-hmm.
22:05A lot, a lot of kissing.
22:07I know.
22:07I know.
22:07It's fun to watch it over and over and over.
22:09Oh, I like the lap dance better.
22:11Oh, no, David.
22:13Tell me about the lap dance.
22:15Oh.
22:16Yeah.
22:16Brought out.
22:17It was awesome.
22:18That's great.
22:18Mm-hmm.
22:20I was seeing her mom.
22:21Your mom was like, oh, my gosh.
22:23Janelle was like, oh.
22:24Janelle was most uncomfortable.
22:25Yeah.
22:25Out of anybody there.
22:26Janelle and my kids.
22:26I just love that Janelle is uncomfortable.
22:28I know.
22:29I know.
22:30It's great.
22:31I was watching some of the clips.
22:33I'm like, oh, the sound effects are like.
22:36Like, I do not mind PDA, but, like, sometimes it's, like, the kids are like, oh, mom.
22:40Like, you know what I mean?
22:41Like, I'm a little bit more shy.
22:43Maybe it says, maybe, like, Cody says, like, Rob, I'm just, I'm a little bit more shy.
22:47I'm just not going to.
22:48Have you loosened up more of your, over time, regarding all of this?
22:52If I am with somebody ever again, of course I'll be holding hands and kissing.
22:56I don't know if I'll do the lap dance thing that Christine did.
22:59But, you know.
23:01Coming up.
23:02I'm a little shy about, like, a full make-out session.
23:04That's all.
23:05Yes.
23:05We're seeing spit and tongues swapping, so.
23:10And later.
23:11It may not have been fair to Mary, but Robin was always telling me to work out the relationship with her.
23:19So, are you okay with PDA?
23:21Oh, yeah, definitely.
23:22Are you going to allow yourself to have that?
23:26Oh, yeah, I am.
23:27I'm allowing myself.
23:28Because Cody shared with me that you're super shy.
23:30I am shy.
23:32That's true.
23:32But, see, okay, wait a minute.
23:34That's Cody and I.
23:35I, what I think is affection, he thinks is subtle.
23:39It's just a difference between his level and my level.
23:42Yeah.
23:42And, I mean, like, you know, I think kissing's fine in front of people.
23:48I just, like, I don't know.
23:50I'm a little shy about, like, a full make-out session.
23:52That's all.
23:53Yes.
23:55Where you're seeing spit and tongues swapping, so.
23:58Okay, okay, okay.
23:59That's good.
24:00Yeah.
24:00How do you feel about PDA?
24:02Um, I think there's a limit.
24:07I don't have a problem with PDA.
24:09I think that I want to have somebody who is comfortable with that.
24:14What's the limit?
24:15Describe, like, what you're okay with and what you're not okay with.
24:18Um, I think hand-holding and hugging and arms around each other and even a little kiss here and there is totally acceptable.
24:27But when it gets to the point that somebody says, get a room, that's probably a little bit too much.
24:34Mm-hmm.
24:35Like too much sucking face?
24:37Yeah.
24:37Yeah, probably not that in public.
24:40Cody wished for more, the ability to express more PDA.
24:43And I just think it just didn't work for us for whatever reason.
24:50Mm-hmm.
24:50I mean, I think, I remember him kissing Mary and Christine.
24:54Mm-hmm.
24:54I remember him kissing Mary and Christine.
24:56And how did that feel?
24:58It doesn't bother, it didn't bother me.
25:00Mm-hmm.
25:00Like I really, like they had relationships.
25:02I knew they were husband and wife.
25:03It was not a problem for me.
25:05Mm-hmm.
25:05Um, Janelle's mom pulled me aside and said, hey, knock off the PDA in front of Janelle with Mary.
25:11Because Mary was like, you know, eating my face like Christine's eating David's right there in front of other people.
25:18And Mary, and Mary was doing it and Janelle did not like it.
25:22No, Janelle, like, it was like Janelle's mom told me, hey, you better cool this.
25:27We might have gotten to some bad places as a family because I always envied those families that could actually do the PDA.
25:36Yeah.
25:37Was it uncomfortable when he would be demonstrative and show some PDA?
25:40It was always uncomfortable and awkward.
25:43It still is now when I see it with him and Robin.
25:47It's like, because I feel like now it's almost like I'm throwing it in your face and I don't like that.
25:52Don't throw it in my face.
25:53Just be you.
25:54You know, love her the best that you can, but don't be a jerk to me about it.
26:00I think if we were just able to kind of accept each other's relationships, it would probably have been easier.
26:05Yeah.
26:05Like that.
26:06And emotional intimacy between all of you, of the wives.
26:09Yeah, wives with Cody, yeah.
26:11Yeah, but why do you feel like you weren't able to achieve that, though?
26:14It was family rules or family culture that was already there before I came along.
26:18It was like no, no, like, you know, affection and no, like, sweet talk and no sweet, like, looks across the room.
26:28It just was like, it was really weird.
26:31You felt like you didn't have a voice or a say in the family.
26:34Oh, I was told I didn't have a say.
26:35I was told that I needed to conform to what they were doing because I, and I was trying really hard not to, you know, rock the boat, too.
26:43But can you share who told you that?
26:46I'll just keep, I'd just rather not point fingers.
26:48And were there rules, and how did you feel about that?
26:52It was more respect for each other because it's hard to see Cody being physically affectionate with one of the wives if your relationship is crap and you don't, you're not affectionate at all.
27:03And we're just talking maybe just holding hands, you know, the casual brush that you get to do sometimes, you know, things like that.
27:09None of it like that.
27:11Just none of it.
27:12Because if you see that and your marriage is terrible, you don't really want to see that he's being affectionate with somebody.
27:16And so there was no way that Cody ever got along with all of his wives at the same time.
27:23And there were several times through the years where we were like, you know what, I think it'd be, it'd be great if we could be physically affectionate in front of each other.
27:30But then it never happened probably because we realized that emotionally we just weren't there yet.
27:38It's kind of an unspoken spoken.
27:40The last time Robin and I showed PDA with the family, we got kicked out.
27:44You got kicked out?
27:45I'm not going there.
27:47Okay.
27:47Yeah, they with us bad.
27:49And boy, it cost me dearly.
27:52Explain.
27:53I don't even know what you're talking about.
27:55It's a story that just cannot be told.
27:59Oh.
28:00Yeah.
28:01It's just there's something so vitally detrimental to your life, you're just not going to talk about it.
28:09Hmm.
28:09Is it recent or is it?
28:12Let's just not talk about it.
28:14Okay.
28:15It's that traumatizing?
28:17Uh, until Mary and Janelle are remarried.
28:20Okay.
28:20I will not show PDA to Robin in front of them.
28:23Just in public when they're not around or because you feel comfortable with...
28:27No, no, it's, it's, it's, uh, where we are safe, we behave candidly and where we are not, we have learned to be careful because when true love is exposed, it calls down wrath.
28:46And it's like the world hates true love so much that they want to be really, really crappy about it.
28:53So it's, it's, it's been a painful experience falling in love, not from the person I fell in love with, but from the world outside of it.
29:04Coming up.
29:06I mean, Mary wanted to fit in and belong and be part of a family.
29:09And she was hoping and hoping for so long that everything would be okay because she was being told by Robin, he still says he loves you.
29:17It's bullsh**, whatever.
29:19And let's talk about your other sister wife, your ex-sister wife, Robin.
29:27Robin.
29:28Yeah.
29:28Because your relationship has changed over the years where you guys were drifting apart, then you came back together.
29:34I think for me, like my relationship at the very beginning with Robin was really close.
29:42Like.
29:42Really close.
29:42She was a good friend and then it did drift apart and we were always pretty good about having conversations and trying to figure things out.
29:52And so we were working on like building that relationship again.
29:56And then, you know, once we moved to Flagstaff and COVID happened and everything, it just, it just never got back.
30:05I want us to watch this clip and then I want your reaction as to where you stand with Robin today.
30:11Okay.
30:12Robin told me she was going to drop off something and say goodbye to Mary.
30:16And I know she's not well about this.
30:20It's a heartbreak of extreme proportions that I don't understand.
30:25Sorry.
30:26I know this isn't goodbye, but.
30:35And I'll still see you and stuff.
30:37Yeah.
30:39I appreciate that.
30:40Good wishes.
30:43I appreciate that.
30:44Can I tell you that I love you?
30:46I love you too.
30:48I'm sorry that this worked out this way.
30:50Yeah, that's kind of sucky.
30:52I know that Robin is brokenhearted about this.
30:55And that's something she's going to have to process through herself.
30:58She's very emotional and I don't want to be emotional.
31:04I've had a lot of emotions and I keep my emotions guarded.
31:10You were the one that basically brought her in and I feel like that I was like the one that was most welcoming, but I think as time has gone on, when you needed her the most, she wasn't always there.
31:23I quit calling her and texting her because I was the only one doing it.
31:27It wasn't meant to be mean.
31:29It was just, I need this to be reciprocal if it's going to be a relationship and it wasn't.
31:35Why do you think it was so hard for Robin to see you leaving at that moment?
31:41All the tears and all that emotion.
31:43I think that she realized that what she was wanting and what she was expecting when she came in the family was gone.
31:52The whole.
31:52I was kind of like the last.
31:54Look in this dream.
31:54The last one.
31:55Yeah.
31:55You know what I mean?
31:56And I think that she had been fighting for me for so long in her own way and just realizing that it was done, it was over.
32:07You know, I think it was a hard moment.
32:10And she was reciprocating as much as she could.
32:13I don't know if she was.
32:17I didn't feel like she was with me.
32:20Before she moved, she talked like things were going to be the same, like that her and I could still have a relationship.
32:27And then after she moved, I was calling her and saying, hey, when you're in town, like, let's get together.
32:35Let's go have fun.
32:36Okay.
32:36And it was like I wasn't getting the same, like, response backs.
32:39You know, I was just kind of pushing against it, kind of asking.
32:43And then finally she said to me, she was like, I don't know how to be friends with my ex-husband's wife.
32:51So I've just been sort of giving her space.
32:54Okay.
32:54And maybe, you know, in time she'll be able to, yeah, come back.
32:59And so I've just been patient.
33:01I mean, Mary wanted to fit in and belong and be part of a family.
33:04And she was hoping and hoping for so long that everything would be okay because she was being told by Robin, he still says he loves you.
33:12It's bullsh**, whatever.
33:15You know, and it's like, why are you leading her on like that?
33:17I feel like just Robin let her on all the time.
33:20I'm so glad that Mary came, like, she understood all of it.
33:23I love that.
33:24Her friends are just incredible.
33:27Jen is so freaking cool just saying, ah, she wasn't there when you needed her.
33:31That's not a good friend.
33:33Anyway, that was cool.
33:34It was good.
33:35It may not have been fair to Mary, but Robin was always telling me to work out the relationship with her.
33:43I remember specifically saying once, oh, I'm not the only one in love with Robin.
33:46Yeah.
33:47Because Mary and Robin had...
33:49A friendship.
33:50Yeah.
33:51A deep love.
33:51The breakup, one of the biggest tragedies about our breakup is, you know, like Jen saying that Robin isn't loyal.
33:58You don't even know.
33:59But Jen's jealous.
34:01She wants to be Mary's best friend.
34:03She would never want Mary to have a relationship with Robin because Robin's a threat to her.
34:08Because Robin is just safe.
34:10Robin's safe for Mary, too.
34:12Mary just doesn't want to admit that she's safe because Robin's Mary's ex-husband's wife.
34:18Mm-hmm.
34:18I just saw the relationship as something that was really hard to watch because I felt like there was so much at the time where Robin was just manipulating Mary.
34:25And be like, when you said that, did you really mean this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
34:28Like, no, I don't think so.
34:29But she would just kind of re-like put words in Mary's mouth.
34:33And it was the weirdest thing to watch.
34:35They were weird to watch to me.
34:36I didn't get the relationship.
34:37Help me understand that.
34:38I don't even know how to even.
34:40It's almost like there's these guidelines and stuff.
34:42And if Mary would fit in the guidelines where Robin, like, wanted her to fit, like, please stay in the family and stay here.
34:48You know, your relationship is important to me.
34:50I love it that you're here and everything like that.
34:52Just keep staying on and keep holding on and keep holding on.
34:54Was that what made Robin a good sister wife?
34:56Was it because she was telling Mary to hang on, hang on, hang on?
35:00Or I'd be like, why are you still in that relationship?
35:02Go.
35:03That's ridiculous.
35:04Do you want to be a better friend to Mary?
35:07Oh, yeah, sure.
35:08I mean, if, if, if there's anything that I can fix with her, I want to fix it.
35:14So, but, like, it has to, like, I feel the same way that she's not reciprocating it either.
35:21So, I'm kind of like, eh.
35:23I think it's just a matter of the both of us kind of really putting the same kind of effort in.
35:27And it hasn't been the same.
35:30So, yeah.
35:31In that clip with Robin, it's like, okay, you are having this pain about me leaving.
35:39That's a you thing that's yours to carry.
35:41That's not mine.
35:42And I think for a lot of times, a lot of years, I was trying to take the blame.
35:46I was trying to, well, it's my fault.
35:48I need to fix it.
35:49Like, like, and I needed to really learn to let that go.
35:54It feels very icy right here.
35:56It's just because, like, I don't feel icy.
35:59I just don't feel like there's, it's there.
36:02You know, which is really just, it's unfortunate, you know?
36:06But I just, I, it's just not there.
36:09Coming up.
36:10Because Christine says that to me.
36:11She's like, oh, my gosh, David put my luggage on the rack.
36:13It's symbol, it's a symbolic thing.
36:15Like, right?
36:15Do you get the luggage rack?
36:16Oh, my gosh, this is so stupid.
36:21Here we go.
36:22Everybody stand by, please.
36:23You know, last time we chatted, I got to meet David for the first time.
36:26And since then, you know, we've seen a lot.
36:29The two of them start dating.
36:30The two of them move in together.
36:31The two of them have a beautiful wedding.
36:33And now we're sitting down.
36:34It's almost a year to their anniversary.
36:36Yes.
36:37And when someone remarries, you know, comparisons happen
36:40between life partners and partners in the past and exes.
36:45And the real question is, is there a difference between David
36:50and the relationship she has and Cody?
36:55But let's revisit that and let's take a look at this clip.
36:58And I'd love to hear what you have to say.
37:00There were so many times in my marriage with Cody
37:04where it was like you had to always, always look nice.
37:09It mattered to him so much.
37:12It almost became more important than anything else.
37:15We'd go camping, and Janelle and I would be sitting there
37:18busting our butts, getting breakfast made,
37:21cleaning up the mess.
37:22And honestly, Robin would be doing her makeup forever
37:24and doing our kids' hair.
37:27And then Cody would sit there and praise how they looked
37:29when we'd been sweating and slaving over the freaking food
37:34and cleaning up the campsite.
37:35I think that's probably the reason I hated camping so bad.
37:39You know what we do instead when we go?
37:41You're actually out there helping cook the food.
37:43Yeah.
37:44Their favorite thing about each other,
37:46that he puts your luggage on the luggage rack
37:48in the hotel room.
37:49Yes.
37:50Yes.
37:51I don't know, David, has she told you?
37:52No.
37:52That used to be a thing that Christine
37:54and I complained about.
37:55So when I used to go somewhere with Cody,
37:58he would always set his suitcase up,
38:00usually on the luggage rack,
38:01and then I just had to leave mine on the floor.
38:02The first time he did it with me was our honeymoon.
38:06And he took out the rack and he put a suitcase on it.
38:08And I'm like, well, that's bizarre.
38:11I thought that he would have given me the luggage rack.
38:13But then Janelle, one of the times she mentioned it to me,
38:15and she's like, we're talking years down the road.
38:18She goes, why is it that he always just uses the luggage rack
38:21and I don't?
38:21I'm like, right, that's crazy.
38:24I called her when we were on our trip,
38:25and I'm like, guess what David just did?
38:28That's funny.
38:29Big deal, isn't it?
38:30Yeah, he's a gentleman.
38:32So that was funny, because Christine says that to me.
38:34She's like, oh my gosh, David put my luggage on the rack.
38:36And we're like, oh, wow, that means something.
38:41It's a symbolic thing, right?
38:43It's like that he took care of his luggage,
38:45so he didn't, like it was all right there.
38:47Yeah, but like your needs weren't being met?
38:49I'm trying to figure that out.
38:50It's just a token of who he is and how he thinks.
38:54So Cody first?
38:56Well, maybe he puts Robin's luggage on the rack.
38:59I have no idea.
38:59They're such soulmates.
39:00He might put her luggage there.
39:02Christine will spend the rest of her life
39:04comparing herself to Robin, and that's a tragedy.
39:07I just have a question.
39:08Who gets, do you get the luggage rack?
39:10And I've got to say that when Christine and I went on our honeymoon,
39:13there was no luggage rack.
39:14It was in a four-door sedan.
39:18There was no luggage rack.
39:20You guys slept in the four-door sedan?
39:21No, we, there was no luggage rack.
39:26Oh, in a hotel room we're talking about.
39:28She's talking about a hotel room.
39:29No, we're talking about in a hotel room
39:30when you got out of the sedan on your honeymoon.
39:34Yeah.
39:35And you checked into the hotel room.
39:37Who got the luggage rack?
39:39I, um, uh...
39:41Do you get the luggage rack?
39:42Um, it's been so long that I don't even remember.
39:46Mm-hmm.
39:47I mean, they're...
39:50I hope they find happiness
39:53because the constant comparison is going to spoil their lives.
39:57And I'm not gonna...
39:59I mean, what do you want to ask me?
40:01You know, I think it's...
40:02I don't know.
40:02Robin gets the luggage rack?
40:04Um, maybe.
40:08All right, the question I'm gonna ask you is,
40:09do you get the luggage rack?
40:10Yes, I do.
40:11You do get the luggage rack?
40:12Yep.
40:15You get the luggage rack?
40:17Oh, my gosh, this is so stupid.
40:19Yeah, I don't...
40:20I don't know.
40:22Yeah.
40:23Did you not know that it was a pet peeve of theirs?
40:26No, I had no idea.
40:28Nope.
40:28Why do you think you get the luggage rack?
40:33I don't know.
40:34Maybe I put my luggage up there first.
40:36I don't know.
40:36I'm trying to remember.
40:39I sometimes just put it on myself.
40:42Um, it's not, like, a big thing.
40:45In every relationship, there's funny quirks.
40:47There's weird things that people do.
40:49So, like, I don't feel like that it's fair
40:51to sit there and complain.
40:53I don't want to complain.
40:54I don't want you to complain.
40:54I just want to know, did you get a luggage rack?
40:56Did you put your suitcase on it?
40:59Yeah, but, Suki, you need to understand
41:01that, like, when we're talking about it
41:03in context of the scene that we just saw,
41:04that was a lot of complaining.
41:06And that was a lot of, like,
41:07let's compare David to Cody.
41:09And I'm not into that.
41:11I'm not going to do that.
41:12I just, I don't know.
41:14I'm watching that,
41:15because I haven't seen that yet.
41:17Yeah.
41:17But watching that, I just felt like,
41:20why the hell is Christine sitting there
41:22talking to her fiancΓ©
41:25or husband or I don't know
41:27where they were at that point
41:29in their relationship,
41:30but, like, about her ex.
41:33They're, like, I don't understand that.
41:35I would not, but that's just me.
41:37We're different people.
41:37I would not do that.
41:38Oh, um, I just want to tell you something.
41:41Hmm.
41:42Robin gets the luggage rack.
41:44Next time on Sister Wives One-on-One.
41:51Do you agree with Christine?
41:53Was it about looks that were important for Cody?
41:57Cody was always very focused on, um,
42:02that you were cleaned up and put together.
42:04I think this is all very trite.
42:06I think they're having fun doing this,
42:09and what's crazy about it is
42:11Janelle and Christine are both divorced from me,
42:15and still, all they do is talk about me.
42:19I don't know.
42:19This is so weird,
42:20because I feel like there's just, like,
42:21they're bringing up things,
42:23and I'm like, huh?
42:24What?
42:24I don't even,
42:25I'm not even tracking it, I guess.
42:27Do you ever have any regrets
42:29about introducing Robin to Cody?
42:32I didn't introduce Robin to Cody.
42:34The first time I ever laid eyes on her,
42:36we locked eyes,
42:38and I couldn't break away.
42:42Did you have that feeling with other wives?
42:44No.
42:45Like, no.
42:46Did you have an experience like that with Cody,
42:48where he locked eyes with you, and it, yeah?
42:51Like both of Lightning, yeah.
42:52Help me understand how Mary and Robin
42:56were both safe spaces,
42:57but the two others were it.
42:58From the very beginning,
43:00Robin laid me down in Rose Garden of Trust.
43:03Immediately.
43:04I was like, what a slap in the face.
43:06Really?
43:07Come on.
43:08So he was bringing that up just to,
43:10ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne.
43:11She's better than you.
43:13Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
43:14Okay, so let me ask you the bigger question.
43:17Would you do it all over again?
43:18Marrying these women and living a plural life.
43:22Would you do it all again?
43:26All right.
43:26All right.
43:26God.
43:28All right.
43:31All right.
43:31Okay.
43:31All right.
43:44All right.
43:44All right.
43:45All right.