- 5/21/2025
Polyfamily (2025) - Season 1 Episode 4 -
Oh. My. Quad
#ShowFilm98
Oh. My. Quad
#ShowFilm98
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Previously on Pauly Family.
00:02Hi.
00:05We really don't want to know the paternity of our children
00:08if we can avoid it.
00:09The only real consequences that could
00:10come from finding out for us at this stage are negative.
00:12My whole family.
00:15Sean just texted me.
00:17I guess we know who the dad is.
00:19I'm guessing because Tyler sent his blood type
00:21during his doctor's appointment.
00:22Each time one of us goes to an appointment,
00:24we're like, kid's this tall, weighs this much,
00:26all the things.
00:26We just.
00:27I know.
00:28Holy shit.
00:29I did not realize what I was doing.
00:31I would assume that everyone would know that blood
00:33type tells us paternity.
00:35What the fuck is your problem?
00:36Now I have no biological connection to one more kid,
00:39which means I have no rights anywhere with this kid.
00:41You don't have to think about that.
00:43If I hit the fan, I know that for sure three kids
00:46could be taken away from me.
00:47Maybe all of them.
00:49Happy birthday.
00:50Happy birthday.
00:51I love my family, and I love my life.
00:54But I do feel like something is missing,
00:56and that's a connection with a woman.
00:58Happy birthday.
00:58Oh.
01:01It's something that I would like to explore.
01:29Hi.
01:30Hey.
01:31Good.
01:32How are you?
01:33Oh my gosh, her hair is so cute.
01:35Our community has a local Santa event they do every year.
01:39It's become a tradition for us to go to this every year,
01:41so we're really excited to spend time with the family today.
01:46So letters to Santa in the coloring contest
01:48are right there, hot chocolate, apple cider,
01:50by Sunshine Espresso up at the front.
01:51Santa's in the back.
01:53Mom, Tyler.
01:54Kyle.
01:55Thank you very much for letting us.
01:56I'm Sean.
01:56Nice to meet you.
01:57We've been coming the last couple of years for this thing.
01:59Yeah.
02:00Hi.
02:00Things have been a lot better after Sean and I talked.
02:03But at the same time, one conversation
02:04isn't going to fix everything.
02:05We have years of frustration and resentment
02:07built up with each other.
02:08We don't have that much in common,
02:09but we do have this beautiful family
02:11that we've created together.
02:12And it's really important to me to put in the work
02:15and rebuild that trust and relationship with Sean.
02:17You want another one, dude?
02:18Here.
02:19Here, can I have yours?
02:20Enjoy.
02:20Even though Tyler and I are working on our relationship,
02:23there's no guarantee that, you know,
02:24if something ever goes south down the road,
02:26that Tyler is going to not take the kids away from me.
02:29He could ask for a paternity test for all the kids.
02:32He could find out who he has paternity of, who he does not.
02:34And he could take me to court.
02:36Do I think that he will?
02:37I don't know.
02:38This is my wife, Taya.
02:39I'm Kyle.
02:40Shasta's husband.
02:41And my girlfriend, Alicia.
02:43Hi.
02:43Hi.
02:44Nice to meet you.
02:45And vice versa.
02:46Or see you.
02:47I think I've met you before because I'm
02:48involved with up and down, so.
02:50When the family introduces theirself to me,
02:52first thought, they're joking.
02:54I've never been around that lifestyle.
02:57But if that makes them happy, their family,
02:59then that's amazing.
03:00It's not for me.
03:02Is he asleep now?
03:03That's fine.
03:04Santa can hold him while he's sleeping.
03:07We might actually get the elusive family
03:08photo with no one crying.
03:10It might happen.
03:11You spoke too soon.
03:12Now you jinxed it.
03:13It might happen.
03:14Just a few years ago, before we met Tyler and Alicia,
03:16holidays looked a lot different.
03:18We went from a married couple with no kids together
03:20to now having five kids, two new partners,
03:23and living in a whole different place.
03:26Are you ready to go see Santa?
03:28Will you sit right here?
03:31All right, here we go.
03:32Here, I'll take this.
03:33Ready?
03:35OK.
03:35We're going to take a picture.
03:36You ready?
03:37Look right here and smile.
03:39Look right here.
03:39Look right here.
03:40Look right here.
03:41Good job.
03:42All right.
03:43They really bring so much joy and happiness to our lives.
03:46Our whole world revolves around them.
03:47I mean, every decision we make has to do with our kids.
03:51And I feel so lucky to have this big, happy family
03:54to make new traditions with.
03:56It just gets better all the time.
03:583, 2, 1.
04:01Good job.
04:03Does Santa have multiple Mrs. Claus?
04:06It's boring up there.
04:07It's the North Pole, I'm sure.
04:08Some weird s*** is down.
04:10Not just making toys.
04:12God.
04:13How do you like this area?
04:15I really love it here.
04:15It's a small town.
04:17But it is a mixed bag sometimes with reactions
04:18from people having an alternative family
04:20structure like we do.
04:21I respect that lifestyle.
04:22It's just not, everything's not for everybody.
04:25Oh, absolutely.
04:26I think it's awesome you guys make it work.
04:28I mean, think about it.
04:29All the kids have two dads, two moms.
04:32That's the thing.
04:33They have a good life.
04:34And our family, our oldest two, my wife Alicia and I
04:36had before we got together with the other two adults.
04:39Yeah, we have four kids.
04:40So two is from my wife's previous marriage.
04:43They're obviously not my blood, but they're my kids.
04:46I love them like they are.
04:48So that's our thing, too.
04:50It's not blood that makes you a parent.
04:52No, it's not.
04:53When I talk about polyamory and parenting to people,
04:56the analogy I use a lot of time is step-parents.
04:58Because it's easier for them to wrap their head around the idea
05:00that as a step-parent, you can love
05:01these kids like your own kids.
05:03I mean, step-parents are protected under the law
05:05in a lot of different ways.
05:06But with a family like ours, a polyamorous family,
05:08we don't get any of that same respect and recognition.
05:11I just wish things were set up differently.
05:13It was good to chat with you.
05:13Absolutely, it was nice to meet you, too.
05:15Say bye-bye.
05:18Bye, everybody.
05:26Put the pillow on the floor.
05:27Barrett, no, other way, Barrett.
05:29Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
05:30Wait, Barrett.
05:31I almost pulled it out of underneath you.
05:33Carver's turn.
05:35Barrett and Carver are seven months apart.
05:38And there's a chance that they're not
05:39biologically related at all and share no similar DNA.
05:43There you go.
05:45But they are brothers.
05:46And even though it's complete chaos
05:48and they're getting into everything,
05:50I love watching them grow up together.
05:52And I wouldn't change it for anything.
05:54Carver, come do stuffy parachute.
05:56Stuffy parachute.
05:57Come on, Carver James.
05:58Oh, boy.
05:59OK, let him have you for a minute, Tyler.
06:01You're from right here.
06:01My favorite part of the day is easily when everybody
06:03gets home from work.
06:04And we're spending time together as a family,
06:07playing with the kids before bed.
06:08I mean, everybody plays a vital role in our family.
06:11And without one of us, it's just a mess.
06:13Without one of us, it would be a completely different dynamic.
06:16I love you.
06:19Good night.
06:20I love you.
06:21I love you.
06:23To bed.
06:24When we were pregnant with Barrett and Carver,
06:25we talked about what it would look
06:27like to have legal protection for all four parents.
06:30Now, with our last baby here and our family complete,
06:33it seems like the perfect time to bring it up again and see
06:36what the next steps would be.
06:38He's curled up at the end of his bed.
06:39Oh, my god.
06:41Just his butt sticking up in the air.
06:43That's adorable.
06:44I know we've talked about the third party adoption stuff,
06:46but I'd really like to jump into that.
06:48And like, I don't know what it takes to get started.
06:50I don't know who it is that we reach out to in this instance.
06:53But.
06:54A lawyer.
06:55Where else would you go?
06:56I don't know.
06:57Like an adoption agency?
06:58I mean, I know that's where you'd get like.
06:59We have plenty of kids.
07:01Maybe they know more about it.
07:02I guess maybe.
07:03I mean, they are experts about adoption, right?
07:05So would they know anything?
07:06I don't think third party adoption is the kind
07:08of adoption they handle.
07:09As it stands now, Oregon law states
07:12that the birth mother and their spouse
07:15go down on the birth certificate regardless of paternity.
07:18So Sean and I are on the birth certificate
07:20for Carver and Quinton.
07:22And Tyler and Alicia are on the birth certificate
07:24for Dylan, Raina, and Barrett.
07:26So they have legal rights over those kids.
07:29One of my biggest fears, aside from something bad happening
07:33like to me, is something bad happening to Tyler and Alicia
07:37that would separate me from Barrett or Dylan and Raina.
07:40Like, those are my kids.
07:40And we just want to make sure that nobody
07:43has to worry about losing the kids
07:44or our kids are going to be split up for any reason.
07:47From what I was researching online,
07:48it seems like a third person can be added to the birth
07:52certificate.
07:53And then since we're married, that
07:54would give the fourth person stepparent rights, right?
07:57Like, I don't know how.
07:58I don't know what the stepparent rights are,
08:00like the legality behind it.
08:01But they would then technically be a stepparent.
08:04Yeah.
08:05All of the like logistical things aside,
08:07I think just the symbolism of being able, when someone asks,
08:11are you their father or their mother, you just say yes.
08:14So there's no asterisk.
08:16There's no further explanation.
08:17Just, yeah, I'm their legal parent.
08:19And getting that acceptance, at least on paper,
08:22would be great for us.
08:23I love my kids more than anything in the world.
08:25Losing them would be devastating.
08:28So for me, my thought is I would like
08:31to do something that can solidify my,
08:33I don't even want to say legality,
08:34but my way of being shown as these kids' parents,
08:37just as much as Tyler and Alicia.
08:40Hi.
08:41I'm Alicia.
08:42Hi, I'm Rae.
08:43Nice to meet you.
08:44Nice to meet you.
08:44We found an attorney to explore a little bit more
08:47about the process of third-party adoption.
08:49If there were to be a divorce in either marriage,
08:52now all of a sudden paternity becomes an issue in that divorce
08:55because child custody issues come up.
08:57Hearing that if the quad ever broke up,
08:59that paternity could become an issue,
09:01it's not sitting well with me.
09:08I think he's hungry.
09:09He's not staying to sleep.
09:10OK, I love you.
09:11Bye-bye.
09:12Mwah.
09:13Hello.
09:14Hello.
09:14Ah.
09:15He's hungry, pass him.
09:17I'm here.
09:18You said you don't care?
09:19You're getting loves on the way down.
09:21Oh, my gosh.
09:22Oh, I did not smell that at all.
09:24Just hand off the stinky baby, huh?
09:26See how it is.
09:27I didn't, technically, Tay.
09:28I just handed him off to you.
09:29We'll change his stinky butt.
09:31Who's the most likely to get up and go to the bathroom?
09:35Who's the most likely to get up in the middle of the night
09:37and change his poopy diaper?
09:39Depending on whose night it is, one of the guys
09:41gets up and changes Quentin's dirty diapers.
09:43Usually, Sean wakes up to the baby.
09:46Usually, I have to shake Tyler a little,
09:47but he'll definitely get up and do it.
09:49Who's most likely to pretend they don't
09:50hear anything at all of her?
09:51Me.
09:54100% true.
09:58We're covering up individual dates.
09:59When?
10:00That's what we need to talk about.
10:02Like, going on a date.
10:02What, solo dates?
10:03Like, individual dates.
10:04Oh.
10:05Things have been kind of serious and heavy at home
10:07with the paternity information coming out,
10:09finding a lawyer for the adoption.
10:11And so since we've been on newborn baby mode,
10:14romance has kind of taken a back seat.
10:15So I think it's pretty important that we
10:17start scheduling some time for some one-on-one dates
10:19to just have that intimate, special time with our partners.
10:23How are we?
10:24Who goes next?
10:25I don't remember who went on the last one.
10:26I honestly don't remember the last time
10:28I went on a romantic date with one of my partners.
10:30But I'm less than two months postpartum, not feeling sexy.
10:34I definitely don't feel like myself yet.
10:36And it's hard to want to be in a romantic setting right now.
10:40Oh, how are we going to decide who's going next?
10:42I mean.
10:43Should we draw straws?
10:45Is it that?
10:46Can we just not, like?
10:47OK, who do you want to go on a date with more?
10:49That's a bad game.
10:51I would like to rock, paper, scissors.
10:53Thumb wrestle.
10:53With who?
10:54Thumb wrestle.
10:55Would you rock, paper, scissors with me?
10:56Draw a name.
10:57I will put their names in a bucket.
10:58There you go.
10:59And you can draw whichever name to go on the date
11:01with that person.
11:02OK, are we picking to decide who we're going on the date with?
11:06Or if we're going on the date next?
11:07Both.
11:08You two, rock, paper, scissors to see who
11:11picks the name out of the hat.
11:13Paper, rock, scissors it is.
11:15Rock, paper, scissors.
11:16Why do you say paper, rock, scissors?
11:17That's the way I say it.
11:18I don't know.
11:19You didn't learn any of this rock, paper, scissors?
11:20No.
11:21Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
11:23Paper, rock, scissors, shoot.
11:24Paper, rock, oh my god.
11:26Mm-mm, can't.
11:27Ready?
11:28Rock, paper, scissors.
11:29Oh, is it Beth two out of three?
11:31Wait, wait, wait.
11:32We had to stipulate before.
11:33So you're going on the date first.
11:35Now you're picking who you're going with.
11:39So you're going first.
11:40So I'm going to peek.
11:41And the winner is?
11:44It is?
11:46Yay.
11:47Aw.
11:48Yay.
11:51It's been a very long time since Tay and I
11:54have been on a date alone.
11:55It's hard to have a newborn and also have a romantic life.
11:58So I am a little bit bummed that I'm
11:59not able to be the first one she gets to go on a date with.
12:01She's my best friend.
12:02This is my wife.
12:03I want to spend as much time with her as possible.
12:05It's good, though, that we're planning some individual dates.
12:08It's important to be romantic, too,
12:11not just be parents all the time.
12:12Yeah, and it's good to still recognize
12:14our individual relationships as well instead
12:16of it just being the quad.
12:18I would love to have the first date.
12:20The guys get up every other night with Taya and Quentin.
12:24So the nights they're with me, that's their night to sleep.
12:27So even though I'm not the one who birthed a baby
12:31and I don't physically have a newborn attached to me,
12:33that still affects our intimacy as well,
12:35because the guys are just so exhausted.
12:37You know, it doesn't have to be something fancy.
12:38It's just finding those little times to spend time together
12:40that we're not getting now.
12:42A chance to put a little romance back into things?
12:44That was horny.
12:45Apparently.
12:47Mr. Suave over there.
12:49Wow.
12:51I have a boundary that I established quite a few years
12:53ago that I don't want to know the details of the intimacy
12:57of either of the guys with Taya.
12:58It's just something that I knew that I needed
13:01because I compare myself to other people.
13:03I compare my relationship.
13:05Even though Tyler and I have been together for so long,
13:07I think my biggest jealousy when it comes to Taya and Tyler
13:11is just I feel like there's an undeniable physical attraction
13:15between them.
13:16From an outside perspective, it looks really beautiful.
13:17It looks really intimate.
13:19It almost looks like they're more in love than him and I.
13:21And I don't want it to feel that way.
13:28We found an attorney and explained a little bit
13:31about our family.
13:32So she invited us to the office today
13:33to explore a little bit more about the process
13:36of third party adoption.
13:37Hi.
13:38I'm Alicia.
13:39Hi, I'm Rae.
13:40Nice to meet you.
13:41Nice to meet you.
13:42Taya, nice to meet you.
13:43Taya, nice to meet you.
13:44I'm Sean.
13:45Sean.
13:46Nice to meet you.
13:47Hi, I'm Tyler.
13:48Tyler.
13:49Since finding out that Tyler is most likely the biological
13:51father of Quentin, I'm scared that if something goes south,
13:54that biology is going to trump everything
13:55to be put into place.
13:56That I could be taken off the birth certificate.
13:58It's not that I don't want Tyler to be the dad.
14:00It's just I want us to all be equal parents.
14:02And so meeting with this attorney is more important
14:04now than ever.
14:05So what is, what's going on with this situation?
14:07What can I help you with?
14:08Well, we four are a polyamorous quad.
14:11I'm married to Tyler.
14:12And Sean and Taya are married.
14:14But Sean's also my boyfriend.
14:16And Taya and Tyler are together as well.
14:18OK.
14:19And we have children together.
14:20So I've birthed three biologically.
14:22And Taya has three.
14:24I've birthed three biologically.
14:26And Taya has birthed two.
14:28And if something were to happen to some of us,
14:32and like just making sure we want to like cover
14:34all of our bases.
14:35So we've wanted to explore the idea of third party adoption.
14:37And what that could look like.
14:39OK.
14:40Well, it's certainly a new kind of family.
14:42I've dealt with a lot of different kind
14:43of families over the years.
14:44But not a polyamory family.
14:46No.
14:47So you've had three children.
14:48And you've had two.
14:50Were all those children born during your marriages?
14:53Two kids prior to the four of us being together.
14:57And then I've had one son.
14:59And Taya's had two.
15:00So do we know the paternity of the three children
15:02that were born during this quad relationship?
15:05We don't know paternity for our two toddlers.
15:07But we think we know for our youngest.
15:09OK.
15:10But you already understand that legally,
15:13you're on the birth certificates for the children
15:15that your wives birth.
15:16Correct.
15:17It's a presumption of paternity.
15:18Yes.
15:19But it is rebuttable.
15:20So if there were to be a divorce in either marriage,
15:23now all of a sudden paternity becomes
15:25an issue in that divorce.
15:26Because child custody issues come up.
15:30Hearing that if the quad ever broke up,
15:32that paternity could become an issue
15:34doesn't really sit great with me.
15:36Tyler and I just really hashed this out.
15:38And now here we are again talking about possibly
15:41have to find out paternity of the babies.
15:43And it's not sitting well with me.
15:45There's no precedent for having four parents
15:49on a birth certificate or three parents
15:51on a birth certificate.
15:52So to do an adoption, like a third party adoption,
15:55usually what happens is one biological parent
15:57is terminating their parental rights
15:59in order to allow another parent to step in legally
16:03and have parental rights.
16:05So essentially, Tyler would have to give up his rights
16:09to the three older kids for me to adopt
16:13and then vice versa this way.
16:15Which doesn't really get us anywhere.
16:17That doesn't really get us anywhere, yeah.
16:19It's really important to me to try to get those
16:21parental rights over Quentin and all the kids as well.
16:23And for Sean and for all of us,
16:25I just, I don't want that to be at the expense of anyone else.
16:29So one issue obviously is making sure
16:31that you all seem to have equal parenting rights
16:33over the five children.
16:35That's our goal.
16:36Okay.
16:37Any judge in Oregon probably would say no
16:39because there's no legal basis for it.
16:42And then you would have to appeal it.
16:44So it would be an appeal issue,
16:46court of appeals, no legal basis for it either.
16:48Then it's like, okay, what do we do?
16:50Do we start, you know, trying to get legislation changed?
16:53Because that's really what we're talking about
16:55is changing the law.
17:00I feel like it's any time that we run into these things,
17:06like it shouldn't be a shocker, right?
17:08But it's frustrating.
17:10It's like, I just wish this could just be easy.
17:14And for the world we're living in, it's just not.
17:21I love you. I'll see you tomorrow.
17:25Have fun.
17:26I'm taking Taya to the coast for our date.
17:28It's a chance for us to have a nice little getaway.
17:30You're the most romantic person I've ever dated.
17:33See you tomorrow. Bye.
17:35Taya's postpartum.
17:37I 100% support her going
17:39and she 100% deserves a night away.
17:42But, I mean, he's planning a romantic getaway
17:45and I can't help but be jealous about that.
17:54Today we're meeting up with my dad,
17:56my brother James, and my sister Olivia.
17:59I was really hoping to bring them some better news
18:01about the adoption and meeting with the attorney,
18:04but it didn't go the way that we had hoped
18:06and I'm really curious to hear their thoughts.
18:08Sorry we're so late.
18:11So am I. Can I have a hug, please?
18:13Yes.
18:14You can give me a hug.
18:17I have a really good relationship with my dad and my siblings.
18:20My brother is two years younger than me,
18:22so him and I grew up really close.
18:24My sister is 15 years younger than me,
18:26so there's quite an age gap.
18:27When I first told my dad about our relationship,
18:30I didn't know how he would feel about
18:31explaining our relationship dynamic to her,
18:33but he's always embraced it.
18:35He's always been really supportive
18:36and I'm just really thankful for
18:38the way he's facilitated our relationship.
18:45Sorry.
18:50Just act normal.
18:51Nothing to see here.
18:52I wanted that one.
18:53When I first found out that Tao's polyamorous,
18:55we talked about all the ins and outs of it,
18:58what her situation was, what their plans were.
19:00I had a lot of questions.
19:01I think everybody's skeptical, right?
19:03We live in a skeptical world.
19:04And then we ended up with me saying,
19:06are you happy?
19:07And she said that she was happy.
19:08And so I said, well, then I 100% support you.
19:11We just came from the lawyer.
19:13Yeah.
19:14Well, we went to ask them about third-party adoption,
19:16which we didn't really know what that entailed.
19:18Yeah.
19:19Third-party adoption and step-parent adoption is only,
19:22you can only do that if one of the two parents,
19:25legal parents, relinquishes their parental rights.
19:30Sorry to hear that.
19:31So you cannot legally have more than...
19:33Interesting.
19:34Two parents.
19:35I was not expecting to hear the news that we heard.
19:38It sounds like laws might need to change,
19:41and I don't know what that could look like.
19:44It might take a really long time
19:46for us to be able to make any progress.
19:49It's something that I want to look into more,
19:51but I honestly have no idea how long it'll take.
19:54It's a bummer because, like, we heard third-party adoption,
19:57and we're like, maybe there's something we can do,
19:59and she was like, no.
20:00Yeah, no judge is going to approve that.
20:02I'm like, cool, cool, good to know.
20:04It's going to be a long process,
20:05regardless if she does it or somebody else does it.
20:08The idea that the five kids aren't going to stay together
20:10is really, like, one of our biggest concerns.
20:13Like, they're sibling.
20:14Tyler and I unfortunately died at the same time.
20:16Like, it's kind of nerve-wracking to know
20:18that somebody from my family or Tyler's family or whatever
20:22that's decided that they maybe don't agree with our lifestyle
20:25and have a blood relation to the kids
20:27could go fight against them to get guardianship.
20:31My dad and I haven't been on the best of terms
20:33for a couple of years now.
20:35Knowing that my family has not been as supportive
20:38of my polyamorous relationship,
20:41my biggest fear is that they could make a case
20:47that they should get guardianship of my kids,
20:51that they're going to be in a situation
20:53where they're taken away from their other parents.
20:55My whole goal is to support y'all.
20:58Like, whatever I can do to support you guys
21:01and what's good for the kids and your family
21:03is important to me.
21:04Having you all as family is great.
21:06So whatever's going to work for you guys, I got you.
21:08The fact that you say, of course, I'm going to support you guys
21:11says a lot about your character.
21:12Because not everybody thinks it's such an obvious thing
21:14that, of course, I'm going to support my daughter
21:15if she's happy.
21:16You know, not everybody does that, so thanks.
21:18Of course, my pleasure.
21:19I appreciate you guys.
21:20And I know that whether we can adopt the kids legally or not,
21:25I really enjoy seeing your relationship with them grow.
21:28Yeah, I think they're awesome.
21:30I do love Taya's dad, and to not have that same support
21:33from my dad, for my dad not to recognize Sean and Taya
21:36as my family just completely breaks my heart.
21:38I really do think that my dad would learn to love
21:42and appreciate my family if he had maybe more of an open mind
21:46and gave it more of a chance.
21:47But unfortunately, we're not there right now.
21:49So for right now, I need to focus on protecting my family
21:53and keeping us all together.
21:54And that's why I'm so motivated to figure out
21:56what the next steps are for adoption.
22:05It's toddler bath time.
22:07Oh boy, there we go.
22:10Good job, dude.
22:12Plastic face, behind the ears, neck.
22:15Good job.
22:17Good boy.
22:24Hi.
22:25Hi.
22:26You look so cute.
22:28Thanks, I'm at work.
22:29Your lashes look good.
22:31Thanks.
22:32Lex is one of my really good friends.
22:34We have a whole bunch in common.
22:36We're both polyamorous.
22:37We're both pansexual.
22:38We both have five kids, and we both just have babies.
22:40Unfortunately, she lives 12 hours away,
22:42so we don't get to see each other as much as we would like to,
22:45but we talk almost every day.
22:46I just took out my pumps, literally, and charging them
22:50because I've used them so many times.
22:53That would be a good idea.
22:55Speaking of, my milk finally came in.
23:00When I first met Lex, we had an instant connection.
23:03We were very fast friends, and it was just nice
23:06to have another polyamorous, pansexual mom,
23:10feminine energy around.
23:11It just really added to my life in ways that I wasn't expecting.
23:18I mean, I feel like I could always do better.
23:23Yeah, I need stickers.
23:24Ten stickers equals, I don't know, a foot rub or something.
23:28If I get, like, 20 stickers, you come visit.
23:34That would motivate me.
23:44Lex was a rock for me through my pregnancy and through postpartum,
23:48and even on her worst days, she's a ball of sunshine.
23:52And so, yeah, she's been a huge support system for me
23:56throughout pregnancy and postpartum.
24:00I wish.
24:02No.
24:03I met Lex after we have been in this close quad,
24:07and so she's somebody who I could see myself dating,
24:10but no, since we're closed and the craziness of life,
24:15I don't think that's going to change anytime soon,
24:17so we have not dated.
24:19Well, I love you. I love you guys.
24:20Love you, too.
24:21Bye.
24:22I will.
24:23And I'll text you.
24:24OK, sounds good.
24:25OK, bye.
24:31Is your bag ready to go out?
24:32Is my what?
24:33Is your bag ready to go out?
24:34That's not what I heard.
24:35Hey, stop throwing this.
24:37What did you hear?
24:39I heard, like...
24:41I'm taking Taya to the coast for our date, about an hour away,
24:43but it's a chance for us to have a nice little getaway,
24:45just the two of us.
24:46Sean and Alicia are going on their date tomorrow night,
24:48but they're just going to stay local.
24:49It's really rare that Taya and I will go on an overnight date,
24:52but we all four agreed that Taya needed a little extra time.
24:55We wanted to make sure that Taya got something special
24:57and a chance to relax.
24:58I love you. I'll see you tomorrow.
25:02Have fun.
25:03I like to think that I'm a romantic.
25:05With our crazy, hectic lives,
25:06I don't always get to express that the way I want to,
25:08but I definitely have romantic feelings, you know?
25:10It's nice to have a chance to show that.
25:12You're the most romantic person I've ever dated.
25:15Thanks, darling.
25:17He'll be fine.
25:19We'll be fine.
25:21I know that.
25:22Being less than two months postpartum,
25:24I'm definitely anxious to be away from Quentin.
25:26I haven't been away from him for more than a couple hours at a time,
25:30and it's nerve-wracking to leave my baby,
25:33and it's hard not to have mom guilt about it.
25:35Ready?
25:36I guess.
25:37Hey, text me when you get there.
25:38Let me know you got there safe.
25:39Will do.
25:40Is it too late to cancel?
25:41Love you. Have so much fun.
25:42Yes.
25:43What?
25:44She asked if it was too late to cancel, and I said yes.
25:46Yes, it is too late to cancel.
25:47Have so much fun.
25:48No, Barrett just said have so much fun.
25:50We will, Barrett.
25:51Thanks.
25:52So cute.
25:53Love you. See you tomorrow.
25:54Love you. See you tomorrow.
25:55Bye.
25:56Bye.
25:57Bye.
25:58Pam's postpartum.
25:59I 100% support her going,
26:01and she 100% deserves a night away,
26:04but, I mean, he's planning a romantic getaway,
26:07and I can't help but be jealous about that.
26:13I am a hopeless romantic,
26:15so anything that's, like, over the top
26:17and, like, really romantic, a lot of thought put in it,
26:20I would just die, because that's so exciting.
26:23There's definitely times that I wish that he would have taken me
26:26to go and do the things that I wanted to do
26:28instead of taking Taya.
26:29I want that same level of romance,
26:32and my relationship's different,
26:34but I still want him to put in the effort of the romance, too.
26:40I really appreciate them letting us do this.
26:42Me, too.
26:43Holding down the fort with all the kids and everything.
26:45It's not easy, so.
26:46I know.
26:47I'm grateful.
26:48That just means we gotta do it.
26:51What do you mean, do it?
26:54You can't just assume. Come on.
26:56We have to hold down the fort for them.
26:58Oh, okay, yes, absolutely. Of course we would.
27:00Oh, my God. I haven't been wooed yet.
27:02I feel like I should have some sandwich.
27:04Just wait.
27:05You'll be so wooed.
27:06Woo, woo!
27:08No, not like that.
27:09You're making me nervous.
27:11I do that sometimes, huh?
27:13Tyler and I have only gone away together a handful of times,
27:16and since we rarely get this time together,
27:18I feel a lot of pressure to make the most of it.
27:20I really want to be intimate like we normally would do,
27:24but I also don't know if I'm ready.
27:27Won't be a baby sleeping in the bed.
27:29Won't be a baby sleeping in the room.
27:31Won't be a baby sleeping in the house.
27:35Yeah, I'm excited.
27:37I'm gonna drive faster.
27:39Oh, please.
27:40Okay, it's raining also.
27:42I'll keep it under the speed limit.
27:43We have all night.
27:45I like that.
27:47Him and I have always really bonded over our intimacy,
27:50and that's how we connect,
27:51but we haven't been able to do that
27:53since I've been healing from surgery,
27:55and it kind of leaves me feeling insecure
27:57because I don't know how else to connect with him
28:02when what we would normally do is not an option.
28:06You know, I know he's hoping that we can connect in that way,
28:10so I don't know.
28:11I'm not sure that we're on the same page
28:13about how tonight's gonna go.
28:20Even with four parents around, we're already outnumbered,
28:23so just the two of us, we're really outnumbered.
28:28Yeah, a nice romantic date would have been nice.
28:31Oh, my gosh. That's wet.
28:33I'm really looking forward to a chance for Tay and I
28:35to be intimate.
28:36No.
28:37No? Okay.
28:38What do you mean?
28:39I don't know.
28:40I am just, I'm not ready.
28:42I just need a second.
28:44Okay.
28:45I don't know what I did wrong here.
28:53That's wet.
28:55Oh, my gosh.
28:56Oh, this is cute.
28:58Can I cuddle him by the fire and do, like, a bearskin rub?
29:01Oh, my gosh. Wow, this is fancy.
29:03Did I do good?
29:04I want this.
29:05Oh, yeah, this is so cute.
29:10Oh.
29:13We made it.
29:14We made it.
29:17Yeah.
29:18Let's go to bed.
29:19Yeah.
29:20That house is just gorgeous, and I love being at the coast.
29:23It's a breath of fresh air.
29:27We are gonna have dinner,
29:28so to see something, you put toys away.
29:30Oh, do not do that, Parker.
29:33Owies, he's caught.
29:35He's caught.
29:36Even with four parents around, we're already outnumbered,
29:39so just the two of us, we're really outnumbered.
29:42I forgot how utterly exhausting it is with a crying baby,
29:46five kids in the house.
29:48I want to eat.
29:50You want to eat? Good.
29:51You have food over at the table.
29:52Let's go eat.
29:53Yeah, a nice romantic date would have been nice.
29:56The attorney, do you think it's worth getting another opinion?
30:00I would, but if what she's saying is true,
30:03second or third opinion is not gonna matter,
30:05because it's the law.
30:06I know, but I don't want to just give up,
30:08took us long enough to actually get a meeting with an attorney
30:10to begin with.
30:11I think it's more about we might have to change
30:13our perspective on what we want to do with it.
30:16Even though the first lawyer didn't really give us the answers
30:19that we were looking for, that's not gonna stop us.
30:22I refuse to accept that there's no hope for our family
30:25being more legally recognized as a family.
30:28That's just not okay with me, so I'm going to do more research
30:31and try and find another opinion.
30:33Let's go to bed, boys.
30:36From day one, I've always seen all the kids as my kids.
30:40I love you.
30:42Like, these kids mean everything to me, and they're my life,
30:44and I don't want them taken away.
30:46I love you.
30:49I love you.
30:51I will never stop fighting for my family,
30:53but in the meantime, I have to trust that
30:55Tyler's not going to take the kids away if something happens.
30:57I have to trust that we're both fighting for the same goal,
31:00which is to keep our family together,
31:02and that means all 5 of our kids together no matter what.
31:14My relationship with Tay has always been,
31:16I'll say intense, passionate.
31:18So I'm really looking forward to a chance for Tay and I
31:21to be intimate.
31:22I'll do the classic thing.
31:23I'll put some rose petals out on the bed,
31:25play some soft music, soft lighting,
31:27just kind of set the scene.
31:34I feel like an idiot.
31:35You're a cute idiot.
31:37Are you paying attention to me?
31:39I'm paying attention. I got you.
31:41Trust me, okay? I'm not going to run you into the wall.
31:43I don't like blindfolds.
31:45I decided to blindfold Tay to set the mood.
31:47You know, we've got the candles, the rose petals, the body paint.
31:50I really think she's going to appreciate it.
31:52At least I hope she will.
31:54Hey.
31:55Love you.
31:56Love you too.
31:57Always wanted to do this.
31:59Your rose petals.
32:01Real ones?
32:02Yeah, real ones.
32:05Wow.
32:06I got other stuff for our game too.
32:08Oh.
32:10Normally Tyler and I are no strangers
32:12to trying new things in the bedroom,
32:14and I would be excited to try body paint,
32:16but all I can think about is my boobs hurt
32:19and I need to pump and I'm tired.
32:21I don't want to let Tyler down,
32:22but I don't know if I'm up for all that.
32:24Here, let's blindfold on you.
32:26No.
32:27No? Okay.
32:28What do you need?
32:30I don't know.
32:36I know that Tyler just wants to give us an opportunity
32:39to reconnect, but I'm just not feeling like myself
32:43and I'm not ready.
32:45Darling?
32:46Hmm?
32:47Feeling overwhelmed?
32:48Mm-hmm.
32:49I love you.
32:52You want to just forget all that stuff
32:53and back up a little bit?
32:54I just need a second.
32:56Okay.
32:57I feel terrible.
32:58I just wanted to have a nice night together.
33:00I don't know what I did wrong here.
33:09What can I do for you?
33:11I just feel overwhelmed.
33:14Here, give me a hug.
33:23What can I do for you?
33:26I don't know.
33:33I don't know. It's just weird.
33:35I'm sorry. This is all a lot.
33:38Nothing has to happen that you don't want to happen.
33:40It's fine. I just need a minute.
33:42I tried to set up this kind of sexy scene
33:44and maybe that was too much of an assumption for me.
33:46I really don't want her to feel any of that pressure.
33:48I just want us to spend quality time together,
33:50whatever that looks like.
33:54Okay.
33:55Want to get comfy clothes on?
33:57Yeah.
33:58Even though I've been cleared for intimacy,
34:00I'm still dealing with everything that comes along
34:02with healing from having a baby.
34:04I don't think there's any amount of rose petals
34:07or lingerie that could make me feel sexy
34:11in my postpartum body.
34:17I love you.
34:19I love you.
34:21Okay.
34:22It's hard to get back to normal in so many different ways,
34:25including when it comes to sex and physical intimacy
34:27after a baby, so...
34:28I don't know what's going on with Taya,
34:30but I can tell she's really struggling,
34:31and of course I worry about her.
34:32But I really don't want her to feel any of that pressure.
34:34I just want us to spend quality time together,
34:36whatever that looks like.
34:38I've never done this.
34:39You've never done Tubby Bunny?
34:41That's like the kid thing to do.
34:44How many do you think you can do?
34:46Like 20.
34:4720?
34:48I don't know.
34:49You're squishy.
34:50I might die.
34:51Two more.
34:53Three.
34:57Put it in your jeans.
34:59Man up.
35:02That's only three?
35:03Yeah, right?
35:04Okay.
35:05Four.
35:07What are we doing?
35:08This is our date.
35:10I'm having fun.
35:11Five.
35:13I know from experience that I will feel more like myself again,
35:16but in the meantime, I'm going to give myself grace,
35:18and I'm really thankful that Tyler gives me space
35:22and grace about that as well.
35:27Love you.
35:28I love you too.
35:40Can you check on the boys, see what they're doing?
35:42Barrett's screeching in his bed,
35:44and Carver's nowhere to be seen.
35:46So how far away are they?
35:48They were in town seven minutes ago.
35:50So they should be home in the next five minutes.
35:52Mm-hmm.
35:53Nice.
35:54I think our night with the kids was pretty good,
35:56but I'm not used to sleeping with a newborn anymore.
35:58I thought I was missing out getting up with him
36:02and doing the newborn shifts,
36:04but it's only been one night,
36:06and I forgot how utterly exhausting it is
36:09to get up that many times.
36:11So I think I'm okay just, you know,
36:14stealing the newborn snuggles, like, during the day.
36:17Smart.
36:22Our date night was great.
36:23I feel extra connected day to day.
36:25We got to spend some quality time,
36:26and now we get to go home to our family
36:28and just be a little bit recharged.
36:32Apparently all it takes for me to feel sexy
36:35is you to say, there's no pressure.
36:38There's no pressure.
36:41That's a weird situation.
36:43It's a little awkward.
36:44Family, we're home.
36:46Hello.
36:47Hi.
36:48Hello.
36:49Hello.
36:50Hello.
36:52Did you hear the mama?
36:54Did you hear her?
36:55Hello.
36:57No!
36:58He's mad at you.
36:59He's like, I'm hungry.
37:00Can we please do some nursing?
37:02Yes.
37:03Oh, the scrudge.
37:05He's mad.
37:06He's mad at you.
37:07He's mad at me?
37:08Mm-hmm.
37:09Don't tell me that.
37:10Did you get any sleep last night?
37:11No.
37:12Are you projecting?
37:13I'm fine.
37:14Well, thank you both for...
37:15I say Sean can sleep through a lot more things than I can.
37:17Oh, my God.
37:18He smells so good.
37:19Appreciate you.
37:20I feel a little bit bad coming home
37:21and talking about what a great night we had
37:22because it seems maybe like Sean and Alicia
37:24didn't have such a great night.
37:25Alicia didn't get a good night's sleep.
37:27It's stressful having all five of the kids.
37:28It's just a lot.
37:30But I just appreciate him that much more
37:32for letting us do this.
37:33Was it really hard being away from him last night?
37:35No, I was more emotional when we left
37:37and like on the way there.
37:38Yeah.
37:39I think, you know, it can be a little overwhelming
37:41being away from the baby and stuff, of course,
37:42but it was good once we got settled in.
37:44It was having fun.
37:46We also had like this edible body paint and stuff
37:49I licked off of her arm
37:51and painted onto the stencil.
37:53Sexy.
37:54Hot.
37:55It was straight up syrup.
37:57When Tyler starts talking about intimate details
37:59and a romantic date and stuff like that,
38:01like, I really wish he would just stop.
38:03Like, I don't want to know those details
38:05and he should know that by now.
38:07It's hard to get back to being intimate after what?
38:10Okay.
38:11Yeah, I'm out.
38:12Jeez.
38:14I don't want to talk about that.
38:16If they want to talk about it,
38:17it's their business.
38:18I don't need to know.
38:19Okay.
38:20Doesn't bother me.
38:21Clearly.
38:23I would assume overnight trip at the beach.
38:25Well, yeah, I would assume too,
38:26but I don't want to know the details of it.
38:30That was intimate, not naked.
38:33Do you get intimate with your clothes on?
38:36Can I ask why you thought it would be okay
38:39to talk about the intimate details,
38:41like the sex part of your guys' overnight date,
38:45when I've made it really, really clear
38:47that that's not something I care to hear about?
38:50Well, I mean, I wasn't talking about the sex.
38:52I'm talking about intimacy and what we're doing
38:55and activities and things.
38:56Like body paint?
38:57Edible body paint?
38:58Yeah.
38:59I mean, I don't know why you would just mention that
39:02and that has nothing to do with actual intimacy
39:04and, like, sex and stuff, though.
39:05I mean, I'm used to talking pretty openly
39:07with Sean and Taya about whatever,
39:09and sometimes it's hard to remember to censor myself
39:12in those situations with you.
39:13Well, I didn't realize that you guys all talked
39:15about intimate details that often without me around,
39:18so I'm sorry to have messed that up for you guys.
39:22I don't care that they do it.
39:23I assume they were having sex.
39:25I never said that they weren't.
39:26I just said I don't want to know the details of it.
39:29Doesn't bother me.
39:30It doesn't bother you or you want to know?
39:32It doesn't bother me if I know.
39:33I won't go, like, if they talk about it,
39:35I'm not going to be like, oh, what did you guys do?
39:37It's not my business.
39:38I don't care to know.
39:39Like, I don't ask you guys about your details.
39:41I don't want to ask them about their details.
39:45Hearing the intimate details of Taya and Tyler
39:47just kind of bring up a lot of past hurt
39:50and past triggers and stuff.
39:52Just all of those jealousy feelings that I had
39:54towards the beginning of the relationship
39:56that I had to work through
39:58all kind of come flooding back.
40:00I seem to be the only person that has this problem
40:04of comparing my relationship
40:06with the other relationships in our pod.
40:08And so to hear that everybody's totally okay
40:11talking about these things
40:13and I'm the one person that has a problem with it
40:15definitely makes me feel like the odd man out.
40:17I really wish that Tyler and Sean
40:19could be more accepting and respectful of that boundary.
40:22It's set in place for a reason.
40:24And when that's broken,
40:26things just really start to fall apart.
40:30Next time on Poly Family...
40:32I need to go get my stuff tested.
40:34I have a sectomy to make sure it's set.
40:36Did you guys have fun picking out your sample?
40:38First I had to ask the lady,
40:40hey, does it matter if I've had sex this morning?
40:42Sean's in my intimacy
40:44has kind of been suffering lately.
40:46So to hear about him and Taya having sex
40:49feels like it's just being thrown in my face.
40:51I feel like I've set my boundary with that
40:53and it just gets ignored.
40:55So I was thinking about reaching out to my dad.
40:58Alicia's dad has really excluded Sean and Taya.
41:01It's hard for me to imagine that Sean and Taya
41:03are going to be immediately on board
41:05with having her dad back in our lives.
41:07At what point are we okay with him being invited to things?
41:12It wasn't the ultimatum when he said that
41:14Taya and I aren't welcome to any of the family events.
41:17You can feel however you want to feel,
41:19but you can't disrespect us as parents
41:21and then think that you can come in and do whatever you want.
41:24If this were anybody but your dad,
41:26we wouldn't be having this conversation, I don't think.
41:28Well, no, because he's my dad.
41:30That means nothing at the end of the day, unfortunately.
41:33I just want this to be over.
41:37Anyway.
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