Polyfamily (2025) - Season 1 Episode 1 -
In Quad We Trust
#ShowFilm98
In Quad We Trust
#ShowFilm98
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Looks good?
00:02Yeah.
00:04Hello.
00:06Hi.
00:08Where do you want me to sit?
00:10Where do you guys usually sit?
00:12Tonight's my night with Taya, so I'd sit by her.
00:14Tyler's in the middle.
00:16Yay. Best seat in the house.
00:18So, how does this work?
00:20Taya's my wife and Alicia's my girlfriend.
00:22And vice versa.
00:24Alicia's my wife and Taya's my girlfriend.
00:26We are a closed
00:28family squad. A closed
00:30squad is four people.
00:32Us. We're only dating
00:34within ourselves and married within ourselves.
00:36We don't have any outside partners.
00:38Like everybody else, right?
00:40Woo!
00:42We never
00:44set out to live our lives like this,
00:46but we realized we could love more than one person
00:48and make our own rules
00:50as to what we want our family to look like.
00:52Boys!
00:54Tyler and I
00:56had two children before we met, Sean and Taya.
00:58Since we've all been together,
01:00we've had two more children,
01:02and we have one more on the way.
01:04And we feel very fortunate to be able to give the kids
01:06double the love.
01:08Who's the father?
01:10Me.
01:12Both of us?
01:14Since the guys switch rooms every night,
01:16we don't know who the fathers of the younger boys are.
01:18I can assure you it is one of two people.
01:20Of course we wonder sometimes,
01:22but finding out could cause a lot of hurt.
01:24Well...
01:26I guess we know who the dad is.
01:30I should be able to talk to my kid. Our kid.
01:32How would you two describe your relationship?
01:34We live together.
01:36We have mutual partners.
01:38And we parent together.
01:40But if we weren't in this situation,
01:42we probably wouldn't be friends.
01:44This has always been a point of contention.
01:46Your kids and then us.
01:48Dude, you don't need to parent me. I don't need that.
01:50Maybe if I was parenting you, this would have happened.
01:52When it comes to Tia and Tyler,
01:54it almost looks like they're more in love
01:56than him and I.
01:58And I can't help but be jealous about that.
02:00I don't feel like we're the same people
02:02we were at the beginning.
02:04Yeah, but do you want to work on it or not?
02:06I think about it.
02:10I have something...
02:12to share.
02:14I...
02:16feel like I have a connection with someone else.
02:18What does that mean?
02:20The quad that we have now
02:22is the most important thing to me.
02:24And I don't want to screw that up by not thinking things through.
02:26It's complicated to bring someone else in.
02:28We're not closed anymore at that point.
02:30We're just not.
02:32I don't know where we go from here.
02:42Good morning.
02:44You look well-rested.
02:46Thank you. You as well.
02:48And this is Tyler. We've been married for 11 years.
02:5011 glorious years.
02:52I was 18 and a freshman in college
02:54and Tyler was 20
02:56and met at a party and kind of had an instant
02:58connection, started texting the next day
03:00and never quit.
03:02This is our bedroom.
03:04I sleep here every night.
03:06Should we go show them the rest of the house?
03:08A closed quad like ours is extremely rare.
03:10What are the chances that I'm
03:12going to love Tia's husband and she's going to love mine?
03:14It's a lot of relationships to
03:16manage and we all have to
03:18be able to get along.
03:20Being in a closed quad isn't always the easiest thing
03:22but it's definitely worth it to us.
03:24Come in.
03:26Hello.
03:28Good morning.
03:30Hi. How are you?
03:32Good. How are you?
03:34Doing well.
03:36How are you guys?
03:38The main difference between
03:40a polyamorous quad like us
03:42is that our relationship is
03:44not just physical.
03:46We are a family. We raise children together.
03:48We have bills together. We have a home together.
03:50We're not just doing the sexy time, so to speak.
03:52How'd you sleep?
03:54I've slept better.
03:56Yeah, me too.
03:58I mean, you toss and turn quite a bit
04:00so you're not the only one losing sleep.
04:02I'm pretty sure you don't get a complaint
04:04when she's the one who's nine months pregnant.
04:06For sure.
04:08I'm Tia. This is my husband Sean and we've been married for six years.
04:10We met at work
04:12and he was my supervisor one day
04:14and was kind of sassy with our group
04:16and I just knew that I liked him right off the bat.
04:18This is Sean and Tia's bedroom.
04:20They also have their own bathroom
04:22and keep all of their things here in this closet.
04:24This is my bed.
04:26Yes.
04:28Yeah, you guys don't get to have your own beds.
04:30The girls have their own bedrooms,
04:32so Tyler and I switch rooms every night.
04:34We take our toothbrushes, our pillows,
04:36and whatever else we need for the next day
04:38and we do that no matter where we are.
04:40My pillow is my pillow.
04:42Do you and Sean
04:44have an intimate relationship together?
04:46Sean and I do not have any kind of romantic
04:48or sexual relationship.
04:50People ask that all the time, but no, it's not like that for us.
04:52We're both straight.
04:54Have you two women ever had an intimate relationship?
04:58No. Lies.
05:00That's a lie.
05:02That's a lie.
05:04There definitely was a time that Tay and Alicia
05:06have been intimate because Tay is pansexual
05:08and Alicia is a female
05:10and we are close, so there were scenarios
05:12to where...
05:14Doesn't have any other options?
05:16No, we're comfortable with each other
05:18and it was just a different...
05:20Try things out.
05:22Alcohol helps.
05:24She appreciates me.
05:26I appreciate her.
05:28I appreciate that they appreciate each other.
05:30Oh my gosh.
05:32I identify as pansexual,
05:34which means that I'm attracted to people
05:36either on the outside or in their pants.
05:38And about two years in, we decided to try
05:40something a little different.
05:42I approached Sean about the idea of bringing
05:44in another female into our relationship
05:46and it kind of evolved from there.
05:48Before we got married,
05:50we had had a couple of experiences
05:52more in the swinger type of community.
05:54I feel like it's most men's
05:56fantasy to be with two women.
05:58It was definitely my fantasy
06:00to have a threesome.
06:02I didn't just assume that. I didn't make that up.
06:04If one's a good two, it's better.
06:06I had this idea one time,
06:08put an ad in the seeking section
06:10and see if we could fulfill this fantasy
06:12that men have.
06:14Nothing came of it.
06:16So then about seven years into our relationship,
06:18we're just like, maybe we want to explore that again.
06:20And got on an app
06:22matched with Sean and Taya.
06:24Sean and I started talking more regularly
06:26on the phone and then we were
06:28texting a lot and
06:30starting to catch feelings
06:32pretty quickly, which was really
06:34surprising because he's so different
06:36than Tyler in so many ways.
06:38True.
06:40It definitely took Taya and I a little bit longer
06:42to accept and admit that we had
06:44feelings. We started out just
06:46supposed to be kind of a hookup, something physical
06:48and we're still hot and heavy.
06:50But as we went along and I got to
06:52know her a little better, I just couldn't
06:54stop thinking about her.
06:56I couldn't keep denying that I had these feelings
06:58that were forming. She's wonderful
07:00and I just couldn't help it.
07:02No.
07:06When we first started dating,
07:08Taya and I were living in Portland, an hour and 45 minutes away
07:10from where we currently live.
07:12We were driving down every weekend to see them.
07:14It was pretty hard because it's so far away.
07:16And then probably about two or three months in,
07:18I kind of decided that I was going to tell everyone
07:20that we'd move in together within the next six months
07:22and everyone thought I was stupid and crazy.
07:24But hey, four years later, look where we are.
07:26Sean's an instigator.
07:28Good morning.
07:30Morning.
07:32How'd you guys sleep? Good.
07:34Good.
07:36All the hugs.
07:38All the hugs.
07:40So these are our oldest two kids.
07:42This is Dylan and this is Raina.
07:44They're nine and eight.
07:46Tyler and I actually had Dylan and Raina
07:48before we met Sean and Taya.
07:50How many parents do you guys have?
07:52We have four parents.
07:54We have eight people in our family.
07:56Sean, dad, and mom.
08:00And me, Raina, Bill, and Carver.
08:04When we started out on Polyamorous Lifestyle,
08:07we were really nervous for Dylan and Raina
08:09and what that might mean for them.
08:11Like, is it going to lead to them getting bullied?
08:14Are they not going to understand it?
08:16We want them to be able to choose a lifestyle
08:18that they want to have.
08:20Now, as they've gotten older, we've had
08:22all of the age-appropriate conversations about things.
08:24They understand our family looks different
08:26than a lot of other families, and some people
08:28don't think that's a good thing.
08:30They understand a lot.
08:32Boys!
08:34Good morning!
08:36Hold on.
08:38Good morning!
08:40Since we've all been together,
08:42we've had two more children.
08:44Barrett, who is almost two,
08:46and Carver, who is 16 months.
08:48So I birthed Dylan, Raina, and Barrett,
08:50and Taya birthed Carver,
08:52and now she's pregnant with our fifth baby, Quintin.
08:55Who am I?
08:57And who's this right here?
08:59And who's this?
09:01Right there?
09:03Who's this?
09:05Who's down there?
09:07Wait. Who's that over there on the floor?
09:09Carver. Who's in Mommy's tummy?
09:11Who's in Mama's tummy?
09:13Good job. High five.
09:15Who are you?
09:17Barrett. Good job, buddy.
09:20You want to go see baby Quintin? Go.
09:22We didn't just fall in love with Alicia and Tyler,
09:24but we fell in love with Raina and Dylan,
09:26and we've been able to create this big family
09:29with four parents where we can all help out
09:31and be there for each other.
09:33We've just been so lucky to be able to provide that for our kids.
09:36Polyamory just allows you to work to your strengths
09:38with the partners you have and them to work to their strengths,
09:41and not everybody has to do everything for someone.
09:43There's things we gravitate towards.
09:45Tyler's, like, the fix-it guy.
09:48Taya takes care of all of the kiddos at home.
09:50She's the stay-at-home mom.
09:52I tend to get the kids enrolled in their sports and activities,
09:55signed up for school, those types of things.
09:58When it comes to tasks around the house,
10:00we all jump in and help.
10:02We all contribute pretty well to that.
10:04Let's go see the farm. Let's go see the animals.
10:07You want to go see the chickens? Yeah. Yeah, let's go.
10:10In our relationship, we have some rules set in place,
10:13and that's just to kind of be fair about things.
10:16So if it's Tyler's and my night together,
10:18then I'm going to sit next to Tyler in the car,
10:21at dinner, on the couch,
10:23and Taya would be sitting next to Sean,
10:25but that doesn't stop me from giving Sean any sort of affection.
10:28I can still give him a kiss and a hug and, you know...
10:31Yeah, you can. Huh?
10:33Yeah, you can.
10:35And then the next night, when we switch,
10:38that's the day that I'll sit next to Sean on the couch,
10:41but I can still hug and kiss Tyler, too.
10:44Yeah, you can.
10:46Our main rule regarding sex is that
10:48since the guys switch bedrooms every night,
10:50you can be sexual with the guy
10:52that you're with in your bedroom that night,
10:54and then if you would like to be intimate with them again,
10:56you wait until your next night with them.
10:58What do you name the smallest red one?
11:00Sunflower. Sunflower? Which one is Sunflower?
11:02That one. That one right there?
11:04That one's name is Sunflower? Yeah.
11:06A lot of the boundaries that we have now,
11:08we establish by crossing them accidentally to start with
11:10and doing something that didn't feel good
11:12to somebody in the beginning.
11:14There was an incident where Tay and Tyler were off
11:16doing something by themselves, and it wasn't their night together,
11:18and they had sex.
11:22We needed to put something into place
11:24because there was just a lot of feelings
11:26coming up around sex,
11:28and so we had to put some boundaries around it
11:30in order to make sure there was some kind of order
11:33because it's what we needed.
11:35There's never a dull moment around here
11:38between the kids and the chickens and the cats and the horses.
11:41And us. And the animals and the peoples.
11:44Yeah, and us. All the stuff.
11:46As if our lives aren't crazy enough,
11:48I'm 38 weeks pregnant, and I'm going to be induced
11:50in a couple of days due to complications
11:52with gestational diabetes.
11:54Having our fifth baby is very nerve-wracking.
11:56Our house is already chaotic, and adding a fifth
11:58will make it that much more.
12:00I'm excited, but I'm very, very scared.
12:02Who's the father?
12:04Me.
12:06Both of us? All right.
12:08Who's the father of the younger boys?
12:10Since the guys switch rooms every night,
12:12we don't know who the fathers of the younger boys are.
12:15So you have absolutely no idea
12:18who the boys' biological fathers are?
12:20No, it's really important to us
12:22that we parent the boys equally,
12:24and not knowing their biology helps us do that.
12:27Could be anybody.
12:29Could be anybody, really.
12:31Well, we're pretty sure it's one of us.
12:33Yeah.
12:35Well, it's one of us.
12:37Thanks.
12:39I assure you it is one of two people.
12:42It seemed like a weird concept at first
12:44to not know who the father is,
12:46but when you're having two intimate relationships
12:48simultaneously,
12:50it doesn't really matter who the father is.
12:54I mean, biology really is only important
12:56if you're trying to get something for child support
12:58or if there's a medical issue.
13:00Yeah, what would be important is that if the boys grew up
13:02and they wanted to know their genetics for whatever reason,
13:05then we'll totally take that journey with them.
13:07Who's the daddy? It's Alicia.
13:09I'm the daddy. Yeah.
13:11There was so much thought and time and conversation
13:13that went into our choice
13:15not to know who the biological father is of these kids,
13:18and when we say we don't care,
13:20it's like a little bit of people misunderstand that a little bit.
13:23Like, of course we wonder, or at least I wonder sometimes,
13:26but finding out, for me, I don't see a benefit.
13:29It could cause a lot of hurt.
13:31You know, it could bring up jealousy.
13:33It could bring up, I don't know,
13:35whatever the case might be.
13:37It could trigger a lot of stuff
13:39that I don't necessarily think is healthy, but it's in there.
13:42You going to do some hopscotch?
13:44Let's go get your boots off.
13:46So how would you two describe your relationship?
13:50I think our relationship is we live together,
13:55we have mutual partners,
13:58and we parent together.
14:00But if we weren't in this situation,
14:02we probably wouldn't be friends.
14:06♪ Are you ready to do this right?
14:09♪ Are you ready to take a bite?
14:12♪ Are you ready to go all night?
14:15Hi.
14:16We have an appointment at noon for Taya.
14:18Sure, yeah, so you want a...
14:20A fill.
14:21A fill, and she want a...
14:22Manicure.
14:23Manicure, okay, yes.
14:24So these two tables.
14:25Okay, thank you.
14:26Alicia and I have the most complicated relationship
14:28of any relationship I've ever had in my life.
14:31I mean, I'm dating her husband,
14:33and she's dating my husband,
14:34but we're still married to our spouses at the same time.
14:39Is this a boy or a girl?
14:40A boy.
14:41This will be our fifth at home.
14:43Wow.
14:44Fifth baby overall.
14:45Wow.
14:46Four boys, one girl.
14:47It's a big family.
14:48It is.
14:49Yes.
14:50I absolutely love Alicia.
14:51She's my family.
14:52She's like a sister to me in the sense that
14:54I love her and I will always go to bat for her,
14:56but that doesn't mean we don't have our issues.
14:58There are times where I feel like
15:00because she is as sensitive as she is,
15:02and can be extremely emotional,
15:04and your words carry so much weight to her
15:06that I really have to slow down and think before I speak
15:09in order to keep the peace in our house.
15:11We've had to work really hard and intentionally
15:13about communicating instead of keeping things bottled up,
15:16realizing that we need to address things when they come up
15:19because it can be a much bigger fight
15:21if we just hold on to it.
15:23What night is tonight?
15:25I'm with Sean tonight.
15:27You're with Tyler.
15:29So on Tuesday, who are you with?
15:32Sean?
15:34Have you ever found yourself wishing that you were
15:36with your other partner one night?
15:38I've definitely wanted to be with an opposite partner
15:40if I'm fighting with one.
15:41I don't want to sleep next to one, but it's my night,
15:44and it's Tay's and the other guy's night.
15:46Or if they're grumpy.
15:47If they're grumpy.
15:48Honestly, if you're in a fight with somebody,
15:50like, I don't want to be around you necessarily,
15:53but we've always talked about if you don't want
15:55to sleep next to that person, go sleep on the couch.
15:57You're not going to interrupt the other person's night
15:59because that's their own relationship
16:00and not fair to that other relationship.
16:02So I'll be with Tyler on Monday,
16:04so you'll be with Tyler on Tuesday.
16:06Yeah.
16:07Yeah.
16:08They just kiss differently.
16:10They do.
16:11I...
16:12I mean, Tyler's going to hate me, but...
16:14Tyler has a thin upper lip, and she requires him to...
16:18He needs to pucker.
16:20He needs to pucker his lips,
16:21because otherwise it's with his mustache,
16:23which he has a, like, full beard and mustache
16:26on Taya's request.
16:27I would prefer if he didn't have the mustache
16:29because he doesn't pucker,
16:30and I don't want to kiss his hairy lip.
16:33That's a thing, okay?
16:35Sean has very full lips.
16:37Like, you don't have to remind him to pucker.
16:39He's got it.
16:41I remember at the beginning,
16:42when we first started, like, spending nights together
16:44and stuff, like, I tried earplugs.
16:46Sean tried the, like, nasal strips
16:49for the snore, anti-snore stuff.
16:51Like...
16:53I couldn't sleep.
16:55Now I've gotten used to him.
16:57When you first got together,
16:58were you concerned that your partner
16:59might end up loving the other person more?
17:02When we first became a quad and became polyamorous,
17:06I was definitely worried that my husband
17:09could have more feelings for his girlfriend
17:12than he does for me.
17:13I think that comes from a place of insecurity
17:15in myself and my relationship.
17:17It's always a risk to potentially
17:20open up your relationship
17:21and for them to fall in love with somebody new
17:24and decide that that's what they wanted
17:25and they were happier with a new person.
17:29And so I was definitely scared.
17:31Tyler, like, packed a bag before he went
17:34to take Dylan to football.
17:36And I'm like, why?
17:37And he's like, I don't know, just to be ready.
17:40Like, you can tell he's, like, anxious.
17:42But then he, like, thanked me afterwards.
17:43He's like, thanks for being, like, so solid this weekend.
17:47Tyler and Taya are a lot,
17:49like, their love language is physical touch.
17:52And so just very affectionate towards each other.
17:54At the beginning of our exploration
17:57into, like, non-monogamy,
17:59I had a lot of curiosity around, like,
18:01what my partner was doing with other people.
18:03And there were lots of times that I would ask questions
18:06and then be really upset about the answers
18:09because I am a competitive person.
18:12I do compare myself to other people.
18:14Like, I think about how many times
18:16or the things that they're doing
18:17and be like, oh, well, are you doing it that much
18:20or doing these certain things with somebody
18:22because you don't get what you need from me?
18:24Alicia's used the word jealousy
18:26when it comes to the sex conversations.
18:28But it's not.
18:30I think it's competition.
18:31I think that she doesn't want to know
18:33how often is a big part of it
18:35and how kinky it is
18:38because neither of those things are things she wants to do.
18:41And she doesn't want to feel like she has to
18:44to keep up with me.
18:45I had to put in my own boundary, my own rule,
18:47that I don't want to hear about Tyler and Taya's sex life.
18:51It still is really hard for me.
19:03How was school today?
19:04Good.
19:05Remember, you're grounded today,
19:06so you need to make sure that you're eating
19:08and get back downstairs, okay?
19:09I just wanted a few minutes to bond with the kids.
19:12Upset, this is frustrating.
19:14If I did that to Sean, he'd be pissed.
19:17We're heading to the hospital for induction.
19:20You ready to go?
19:22Yeah.
19:23Taya and I wanted to have kids for a long time,
19:25so it doesn't matter to me
19:26if I'm any of these kids' biological father.
19:28We wanted to raise a family, and that's what we're doing.
19:32Are we going to have enough room over there?
19:34I don't know. We'll find out.
19:35Sean and Alicia are out grocery shopping,
19:37and Tyler and I are building the bassinet for the baby.
19:41I'm glad that you're here.
19:44Okay, step one, assembling the baby cot.
19:48Open two support structures,
19:49keep the cot stand on the floor.
19:51Open what?
19:53I think Taya and I are both pretty emotionally driven,
19:55which means, you know, when we're feeling
19:57lovey and sweet and nice,
19:58we're really lovey and sweet and nice,
20:00and when we're pissed off at each other,
20:02we're really pissed off at each other,
20:04and it's just, in terms of love languages,
20:06we're the more physical-touch-oriented people,
20:08and I think that that continues behind closed doors, too.
20:11We're...
20:13I don't know.
20:14I don't know.
20:15I don't know.
20:16I don't know.
20:17I don't know.
20:18I don't know.
20:19I don't know.
20:21Ow.
20:23I'm just waiting to see how far you're going to go.
20:25Yeah, me too.
20:26Oh, my God.
20:29She can't keep her hands off me.
20:30Oh.
20:41List.
20:42List.
20:43Sean and I are typically the organizers of the house,
20:46so a lot of those, like, organizational household tasks
20:49fall to us, so today we are going grocery shopping.
20:52Apples off the list.
20:54Apples.
20:55Okay, fruits just on the list,
20:56so we have to wait until all the fruit have been gotten.
20:59I think when we first met,
21:00I was very, very pleased with what I saw,
21:02and so it was...
21:03Pleased with what I saw.
21:05What the hell am I supposed to say?
21:07I'm being honest here, right?
21:08I know.
21:09She had a great ass, too.
21:11What I like most about Alicia is that Alicia is Alicia.
21:15Like, she's funny.
21:16She's...
21:17She...
21:18Yeah, yeah, I said it.
21:19Does Taya need any snacks for the hospital at all?
21:21Yes, but probably not fruit or vegetables
21:24because she hasn't had junk food for a while,
21:26so probably not here.
21:27I can just imagine her, like, chewing on a carrot stick
21:29while she's in labor.
21:30No.
21:31No? Not so much?
21:32No.
21:33Alicia challenges me, and not that Taya doesn't,
21:35but she challenges me in a different way.
21:37Sean and I are both type A personalities,
21:39and honestly, our love language is
21:42kind of, like, picking on each other.
21:45Oh, I said salad.
21:46Why didn't you get the salad?
21:47You didn't say salad.
21:48I did say salad.
21:49Over there?
21:50I said it earlier, and cauliflower.
21:51Salad and cauliflower.
21:55You're doing great.
21:56Yeah.
21:57You're doing great.
21:59I'm making a best knit.
22:01You're making a baby.
22:03One of us has a clearly harder job.
22:06Tyler very much wears his emotions on his face,
22:09and Sean is the opposite in that way.
22:12Like, Sean shows his affection
22:14through the things that he does,
22:16and the way that he steps up.
22:17Like, he's much more rational,
22:18whereas Tyler is, like,
22:19gets wrapped up in the moment kind of thing.
22:21The balance is, like, it's necessary.
22:23Like, I can't imagine not having that now.
22:26We've got a best knit.
22:27We did it.
22:28Now we can have a baby.
22:30I don't know about that.
22:32Early on in our relationship,
22:33we gave priority to our partners,
22:36so if one of our spouses
22:38didn't want to continue this relationship,
22:42then, you know, if Alicia felt
22:44she was uncomfortable with Tyler and I dating,
22:46then that would be the end of Tyler and I dating.
22:48We could actually just stuff some of these if you want to.
22:51All right. Yeah, I need to learn, so show me what's up.
22:54I don't know.
22:55This is our first cloth diaper baby.
22:57It's scary enough opening up to somebody,
22:59but then knowing there's another moving piece
23:01that you have no control over is really,
23:04it definitely was part of my hesitation
23:06for moving forward.
23:08This is kid number five.
23:09I feel like I should be a pro by now,
23:11but it's scary every time.
23:12It's so different every time.
23:13Yeah.
23:14And the birth is a special moment,
23:15but it's also scary,
23:16because it can go sideways quick,
23:18and, you know, it's just a lot.
23:20When I found out I was pregnant,
23:21I did not try and go back
23:24and find out what date I got pregnant on.
23:26You know, the guys switch rooms every other night,
23:28so it literally could be either of them.
23:31Usually they say, you know, it's in this range,
23:33and within that range, I was intimate with both guys.
23:36Look at this. Look at this little bed over here.
23:38I think being human,
23:40of course I'm going to wonder, you know,
23:42whose child is this biologically,
23:44because I'm curious, but, I mean, I'll be straight with you.
23:47Tay and I have a lot of sex.
23:49So if you want to talk statistics,
23:51there's a good chance that he could be mine biologically.
23:54We need, like, stir-fried veggies.
23:55Why do we need stir-fried veggies?
23:57Stir-fried veggies for pork fried rice.
23:59Oh, we don't use stir-fried veggies.
24:01That's what Tyler said.
24:02Tyler's wrong.
24:03The bag says stir-fried veggies on it, the frozen one.
24:05No, because stir-fried veggies
24:06are ones with, like, peppers and stuff in them.
24:08They're just frozen veggies.
24:09Oh, that's what Tyler said when I put on the list.
24:11Tyler lied.
24:12Falling in love with Sean was really quick.
24:15Sean and I, we're adults, and we know what we want,
24:18and so when the feelings came,
24:20it was really hard to ignore them.
24:22Sean is so similar to me,
24:24but he's just so contrasting to Tyler.
24:26Tyler, he'll do anything that I want if I ask him.
24:30Sean, on the other hand, is the exact opposite,
24:32and so he'll do something for me
24:34before I even know that I wanted it to be done.
24:37It kind of just blew my mind,
24:38because I just wasn't used to that type of relationship dynamic.
24:42No, no. Two of those.
24:43No.
24:44Over 1%.
24:45That's 2%.
24:46These ones here.
24:48Alicia and I are super similar.
24:49You know, if you'd just listen to me the first time.
24:52Do we need any bulk cereal?
24:53No.
24:54Sauces.
24:55Here we are.
24:56You're very saucy.
24:57Oh, we do need a flyswatter.
24:58No, we don't.
24:59We do.
25:00I think that she's used to Tyler
25:02backing down on certain things
25:03and not really standing up for it.
25:05I'm definitely not like that.
25:06I'm going to tell you what I feel about it.
25:07I'm going to give you my opinions,
25:09even if you don't ask for them.
25:10All right. Good?
25:11Let me check the list.
25:13Tyler and I are not similar in that aspect at all.
25:16We did it. Good job.
25:18Good job. We nailed it.
25:19I went from having zero grandchildren
25:21to having now five.
25:23There's definitely some envy
25:24when I can see Taya's family being so supportive
25:27and so open and welcoming.
25:29Everybody's grounded, but, like,
25:31when am I supposed to see her?
25:33I should be able to talk to my kid, our kid.
25:36Sean and Tyler don't butt heads often,
25:39but when they do, it's usually pretty intense.
25:44Are you ready for this?
25:46Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, oh, oh, yeah
25:52You ready for this?
25:55Oh.
25:56I feel like I don't belong here.
25:58I'm nine months pregnant,
26:00and we're going out for kind of one last time
26:02with some of our friends to celebrate.
26:04My mom's gonna be there.
26:05My grandparents are at home watching the kids.
26:08Your mom's here.
26:10Hi!
26:11I was really tempted to be a woo girl, but...
26:13Woo-hoo!
26:14How did you come out to your family and friends?
26:17I would s*** myself before I told my mom.
26:20Hi!
26:22When I first came out as polyamorous to my mom,
26:24she was outright supportive,
26:26and she had her fair share of questions and concerns,
26:28the biggest one being that she didn't want anyone to get hurt.
26:31But she showed us support,
26:32and she was happy to meet Tyler and Alicia,
26:35and, you know, when we told her we wanted to move in together,
26:38I think that's when she really realized
26:40that this wasn't a phase,
26:41that this is something we really wanted to fight for,
26:44and the more time that she spent with us
26:46and got to know Tyler and Alicia
26:47and could see the love between the four of us,
26:49I think she realized that this is something
26:51that was gonna be forever.
26:53Hi, guys!
26:54Hi!
26:55When we first came out as polyamorous,
26:57we definitely lost family members.
26:59We lost friends.
27:00There's a lot of people that just don't get it.
27:02I don't have a relationship with my dad and stepmom right now.
27:06Tyler's mom didn't get it at first.
27:08His dad still doesn't get it,
27:09and, like, Sean doesn't have much living family,
27:12but Taya's uncles are not embracing it either,
27:16and then we've had friends, too,
27:18with kids around our kids' age
27:20that they just don't know how to answer those questions
27:23if they were to come up,
27:24and people have definitely taken a big step back
27:27once they found out we were polyamorous.
27:29Taya, Tyler, Alicia, Sean.
27:32Chelsea!
27:33Nice to meet you, Chelsea.
27:35I know all about you guys.
27:37Even now, it's kind of awkward
27:39introducing ourselves to people,
27:41and it's, like, every person we meet,
27:43it's a new conversation we have to have
27:45and a new reaction that's gonna come out of it.
27:47And this is Quinton.
27:48Baby Q.
27:49I've just, I never thought about this lifestyle before,
27:52and, like, as a parent, you want your kid to be happy,
27:56and you want them to be loved
27:58and as crazy as this ride has been,
28:01I can't even imagine anything different for her.
28:04You will not do karaoke?
28:05No, I have a fear of, like, public speaking
28:07and singing falls into that category.
28:10When Alicia first told you that she was polyamorous,
28:13what was your reaction?
28:15Uh, it was a little bit of a shock to me.
28:17Uh, we were actually at, like, a mutual friend's wedding,
28:20and she was like, hey, we've been dating this other couple,
28:23and I'd really like you to meet them.
28:25And I was like, you've, what?
28:27The biggest thing about it is, what if it doesn't work out?
28:30You know, they went into it with two kids,
28:32and now there's five kids,
28:33and how that would affect anything
28:36if things were to change.
28:38Whoo!
28:46Do you know whose night it is?
28:48Yeah.
28:49I forget a lot.
28:50I'm super excited.
28:51Do you have your night with me?
28:52What?
28:53Yeah.
28:54Really?
28:55See?
28:56Yeah.
28:57Very sweet.
28:58I try.
28:59I still love you.
29:00Do you still love me?
29:02Yeah.
29:03Okay.
29:04It's not uncommon for us to get, you know, weird looks,
29:07especially if I'm being affectionate with Taya,
29:09then I'm being affectionate with Alicia.
29:10But no one's ever made weird comments to me in public
29:13that I can remember.
29:14It's not often to our face.
29:16Behind our back?
29:17Absolutely.
29:18Oh, yeah, 100%.
29:19How many more days?
29:20Three days away from induction day.
29:23I get to be there this time.
29:24Yay!
29:25Yay!
29:26Because if they only allow one person, it's Alicia.
29:28She gets first.
29:29Oh, you guys are out.
29:30Yeah.
29:32She didn't get to be there last time.
29:34I got FaceTime last time.
29:35I get to be in person this time.
29:37Don't worry, we'll FaceTime you guys.
29:39But they are allowing more than one, right?
29:42We don't know until we get there.
29:44Since we're a nontraditional family,
29:45I don't know how the staff is going to treat us.
29:47We don't know if they're going to take
29:49any of our accommodations into account.
29:52We don't know if all of us are going to be allowed
29:54in the delivery room or if they're going to treat us
29:56all as equal parents.
29:58Like pretty much everything else in our lives,
30:00we have a plan for what we think is fair and right.
30:02And then from there, we just let reality take its course.
30:04When Carver was born, because of COVID restrictions,
30:07Alicia wasn't able to be there in the delivery room.
30:09So our plan this time is that she's the number one choice.
30:12If they only allow one person in the delivery room,
30:15it's going to be Alicia.
30:16And if they allow two, then it'll be either Sean or myself,
30:19depending on whose night it is with Taya.
30:21If it works out that I don't get to be there for his birth,
30:23I'm going to be really disappointed.
30:25I mean, that's my son.
30:26But there's no right answer here.
30:28We just have to do the best we can.
30:30I went from having zero grandchildren to having now five.
30:37Why are you crying?
30:38Because I always cry.
30:40Do you know me?
30:41You're crying too?
30:44There's definitely some envy when
30:46I can see Taya's family being so supportive
30:48and so open and welcoming.
30:50Of course, I'm going to be envious,
30:51because I want my family to behave the same way.
30:54I feel bad for people that don't have this kind
30:57of love in their family.
30:59Don't look at me.
31:01My relationship with my dad is really strained
31:03when he doesn't recognize two of my partners
31:06as people that I'm in a relationship with,
31:09when they're categorized just as friends
31:11and considered to be family.
31:13When they move down here to be with us,
31:15to start a family with us, to grow our family
31:18and love and support us, and to be told that
31:21he doesn't think that they're family,
31:23it makes it really difficult to come together
31:27and find that understanding.
31:42Is that good?
31:43Mmm.
31:47You all done?
31:48That was quick.
31:49Hop down then.
31:53How was school today, kid?
31:54How was school today?
31:55Good.
31:56Anything exciting happen?
31:57No.
31:58Nothing?
31:59How about recess?
32:00How'd that go?
32:05Remember, you're grounded today,
32:07so you need to make sure that you're eating
32:08and get back downstairs, okay?
32:11Okay.
32:16Raina's grounded for lying, and that was a decision
32:18that we have all come up to as an agreement.
32:20There are certain things that we have talked about
32:23prior to lying being one of them.
32:25That's never going to be an okay thing to do,
32:27so that is an automatic grounding.
32:37I haven't seen any of the kids all day,
32:39and I just wanted a few minutes to bond with the kids.
32:42I don't like the way Sean interrupted our conversation,
32:45the way he kind of shut things down between Raina and I.
32:50It's been really tough moving from a two-parent household
32:53to a four-parent household.
32:54It is hard to have someone step into a role
32:57that was solely mine for years, you know?
33:00I had a hard time letting go of half of my vote,
33:03I guess you would say, right?
33:04Like, when it was just Alicia and I,
33:05it was just the two of us.
33:06Then we had to take that same power
33:08and split it four ways,
33:09and I really struggled with that.
33:11I'm upset. This is frustrating.
33:19I don't like having tension in the house.
33:21I'm not going to go up there and ask him
33:22if he wants to go sit in a circle and talk about this.
33:24I don't know if we're ever going to be
33:26on the same page with this stuff.
33:27I'm not angry that he has an issue with it.
33:29I'm angry that he doesn't know the whole story.
33:31I know how to parent these kids, too.
33:33If we're supposed to be equals,
33:34like, treat me like an equal.
33:36If I did that to Sean, he'd be f***ing pissed.
33:48It can be a little awkward with Sean sometimes
33:50when things get tense between us.
33:51We don't really spend a whole lot of time,
33:53just the two of us together.
33:54I think that sometimes in a relationship,
33:56you've got to build up the good memories,
33:58the good moments, to offset those tough times.
34:00I don't think we always have enough
34:01in our relationship-making account, so to speak,
34:03to offset when we need to make a withdrawal
34:05when things are tough.
34:06So, everyone's grounded, but, like,
34:10when am I supposed to see her?
34:12I just don't like the way that went.
34:14I was just trying to talk to her for a minute.
34:16You know, I haven't seen her at all today,
34:17and I wanted to spend a couple minutes talking to her,
34:19and I feel like it cut me off,
34:21and I don't know what to do with that.
34:23Well, I get that, but, I mean,
34:24that's one of the consequences of being grounded
34:26is that you're grounded, and I know that sucks,
34:29but she has to stay on task,
34:30and you and her don't necessarily have
34:34a good track record of staying on task
34:36when you both start talking to each other,
34:37so that's why it kind of felt like I had to say something.
34:41We were off task this time.
34:43It was so quick.
34:44It wasn't the first time she'd been reminded to be on task.
34:47That happened to be, like, her third time,
34:49and you just didn't see it because you were at work,
34:51and so it's like, I know you come into it
34:53with a different perspective, but...
34:56Sean and Tyler don't butt heads often,
34:58but when they do, it's usually pretty intense.
35:01I've learned not to take sides
35:03because then you get pulled into the argument.
35:05You know, you want to see her. We all want to see her,
35:07but that's the part that, as parents, sucks for us
35:10because we have to hold the line
35:11so that she understands the consequences.
35:13I mean, if you think that I'm not doing my part
35:15and I'm not falling through the consequences,
35:17I'd rather you tell me than do that with Raina, you know?
35:20Like, tell me afterwards or something, so it's...
35:22Oh, but that doesn't teach Raina, though.
35:24I can tell her to go back to being grounded, you know?
35:27No, but you didn't.
35:28I didn't have a chance, man.
35:31I should be able to talk to my kid, our kid.
35:34♪♪♪♪
35:42When we all decided to parent together
35:44and we get into an argument
35:45and they use the my kids or these are our kids,
35:47like, it does hurt.
35:48Is that intentional? Is it on purpose?
35:51In the moment, I don't know.
35:52We didn't come into this relationship,
35:54into this family,
35:55and try and take over as their parents,
35:57but I think it's hard for Tyler and Alicia
35:59to let go of the history that they do have
36:01with Dylan and Raina,
36:02even though we've agreed to all parent together.
36:04When we first started out,
36:05Dylan and Raina were, I think, four and five,
36:07and so I had five years of saying my kids,
36:10but I didn't realize that that could be such a trigger.
36:12But what I meant is these are our kids, including me,
36:15and I deserve a say in what happens, right?
36:17But one of them sounds a lot different than the other
36:20when you say it, especially when it's heated.
36:22You know, I'm sorry.
36:23I know I'm not good at time management,
36:25but, like, I need a chance to get it right.
36:28Yeah, and like I said, I feel like I gave you that chance,
36:31and that's why I said something,
36:32but, I mean, I guess it's not my job
36:35to micromanage you as well, so...
36:38I mean, Tyler and I are different in a lot of ways.
36:40Do I think that we would ever be best friends?
36:44Not right now.
36:45I don't know that we'll ever get there.
36:47Our focus isn't on each other.
36:48Our focus is on the kids and our partners.
36:52Our relationship's always gonna come last
36:54in any scenario in our house,
36:55and so I don't think that we'll ever have the opportunity
36:58to get to be best friends.
37:01♪♪♪♪
37:06♪♪♪♪
37:10You ready for this?
37:12All right.
37:13It's your turn to shine.
37:15That's shining.
37:16I know, I do it to Sean, so...
37:19I'm scared.
37:20Can our code word be outstop?
37:24So I got this really cool earwax camera
37:26that connects to your phone and has, like, the video on it,
37:29and I'm really excited to try it on Tyler's ears.
37:32Okay, you got to hold this.
37:34Oh, this is gonna be gross.
37:35I can already tell.
37:36Oh, it's already gross.
37:37When you've been married for 12 years and together for 16,
37:42you've seen everything,
37:43so a little bit of earwax, that's nothing.
37:46In 16 years, this is the first time we've ever
37:48videoed the inside of each other's holes.
37:52Sorry.
37:54Well, you don't let me pick at you.
37:56Yeah, it's not my thing.
37:57You have your boyfriend for that.
37:59I know, he does.
38:00He likes getting picked at.
38:01Do you not know that I pick at Sean
38:03every night that we're together?
38:04Because he loves to get picked at, and I love picking.
38:07I do not so much.
38:08I know, that's why this works.
38:10Yeah, Polymer, you can do...
38:11So I can pick my boyfriend because my husband won't let me.
38:14Speaking of your boyfriend...
38:16Mm-hmm.
38:17You know, Marina's grounded today.
38:18Yeah.
38:19And I was chatting with her at the table
38:21and Sean kind of cut us off and was like,
38:23Marina, you're grounded, you need to get back to your room.
38:26It was just frustrating because, you know,
38:29I don't see them very much on work days.
38:31Yeah.
38:32And, you know, I just wanted to visit.
38:34Yeah, so did you say something right then?
38:36I don't know, I was kind of pissed and I kind of...
38:39I came in the bedroom for a little bit and tried to cool down,
38:42and then I went back out and talked to him about it.
38:46How are you feeling after your fiasco with Tyler today?
38:50Frustrated, angry.
38:52Angry?
38:53I'm not angry that he has an issue with it,
38:55I'm angry that he doesn't know the whole story.
38:58He wasn't at home, so, like, he doesn't know
39:01that that wasn't the first time,
39:03and unfortunately when you're grounded,
39:05it's not just extra chit-chat time,
39:07it's take care of business and you gotta get back downstairs,
39:10you know?
39:11I don't need to be corrected in the moment
39:13of, like, no, do it this way.
39:15I don't need Sean to, like, parent me or, like...
39:18Yeah.
39:19...to stop me from doing things my way.
39:21I know how to parent these kids too.
39:23Like, if we're supposed to be equals,
39:25like, treat me like an equal.
39:27If I did that to Sean, he'd be f***ing pissed.
39:29This is all stuff that we agree on.
39:31It's not like you're just making up the rules
39:33and doing your own thing.
39:34No.
39:35I cannot continue to be the bad guy,
39:38because it sucks.
39:39Because he works so much, he comes home,
39:41he wants to be fun,
39:43but that's not fair to those of us that are doing both.
39:47It was just you and I for so long,
39:49and it's really freaking hard to transition...
39:51Yeah.
39:52...to let two more people have that stake, I guess.
39:55Yeah.
39:56It did take me quite a while to kind of retrain my brain
39:59and think of the kids and the parenting
40:01as all of our kids and not just Tyler's and mine.
40:04There would be fights where I would say those are my kids
40:07and they would come across as I'm pulling rank.
40:10But I struggle more seeing them get disciplined by Sean and Taya
40:14because I'm a more lenient parent.
40:17I would do it differently just because I'm a softy
40:20and a people pleaser, and I don't want to upset my kids either.
40:23So that's where I struggle more.
40:25I don't like having tension in the house.
40:27I'm not going to go out there and ask him if he wants to go
40:29sit in a circle and talk about this.
40:31You guys pushed Alicia and I to work on our relationship,
40:34and it's your turn.
40:35You want to see us crocheting things together?
40:38Me holding his yarn ball while he's knitting something?
40:41I do want to see that.
40:42What do you want?
40:43I do want to see that.
40:44It's not going to happen.
40:45It doesn't matter what we do.
40:46We're different.
40:47We were raised differently.
40:48We were raised in different places.
40:49We're not going to probably see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff.
40:52Yeah, but Alicia and I could not be more different.
40:55I think that this relationship has proven to us
40:58that we're never going to be stagnant,
41:00so there's always going to be work to be done.
41:02I don't think there's any two people that are the glue
41:04that holds the entire relationship together.
41:06It's a balancing act in between
41:08all of the different relationships.
41:10We all have to work on it.
41:12We all have to put in time.
41:14We're about to have another baby.
41:15I kind of feel like we just have to, like,
41:17pretend it didn't happen for now
41:19and bottle our emotions up and save them for later.
41:22Oh, okay.
41:23I'm not healthy, but I don't know what else to do right now.
41:26As our kids keep getting older and more complicated,
41:29this might just get harder.
41:31That's a real fear.
41:32Sean and I might just continue to struggle,
41:34and I don't know if we're ever going to be
41:36on the same page with this stuff.
41:38We've been pissed at each other before
41:39and said it on each other's way.
41:41Kind of hard to do when we all live together, but...
41:44What other choice do I have?
41:51When it comes to conflict,
41:52I want to get it all out in the open right then when it's raw.
41:56I'm probably the least confrontational.
41:57I'm struggling, but I do want what's best for Taya
42:00and what's best for baby Quentin.
42:02You ready to go?
42:03Heading into the induction,
42:05not knowing how the induction's going to go,
42:08that definitely creates some anxiety.
42:10Ready?
42:23We're heading to the hospital for induction
42:26and really excited to get things started,
42:29hoping for a safe and easy delivery.
42:34Tyler, do you have the car keys?
42:38When it comes to conflict,
42:39I want to get it all out in the open right then when it's raw.
42:42Let's just talk about it now. Why wait?
42:44And not everyone else is like that.
42:46Hi.
42:47Hi.
42:48Is this mine?
42:49Yes.
42:51I'd say between the four of us,
42:52I'm probably the least confrontational.
42:54I'm not good at it.
42:55I tend to be a little bit avoidant.
42:57Walter, you're welcome.
43:00I'm struggling, but I do want what's best for Taya
43:03and what's best for baby Quentin.
43:05Be good. Have fun at school.
43:12I love you.
43:13See you in a couple days.
43:14Maybe tomorrow.
43:15We're excited that the baby's going to be coming.
43:17Tyler and I will stay here with the kids
43:19until it'll rain and we'll go to school,
43:21and we will wait for Taya's grandma and grandpa to get here
43:24to watch the toddlers
43:25so that we can get over to the hospital
43:28and join them there.
43:29You ready to go?
43:30Yeah.
43:31All right, let's go.
43:41Hi.
43:42Hi.
43:44I'm excited and nervous to be welcoming baby number five.
43:47Taya and I wanted to have kids for a long time,
43:49so it doesn't matter to me
43:50if I'm any of these kids' biological father.
43:52We wanted to raise a family, and that's what we're doing.
43:55Oh, my gosh, we're here.
43:57Look at that.
43:59Now I'm getting nervous. I don't know why.
44:02Are you calm?
44:03No.
44:04Why?
44:05Because we're about to have a baby.
44:09It's a little bit nerve-wracking heading into the induction,
44:12not knowing how the induction's going to go,
44:15so that definitely creates some anxiety going into it.
44:23Ready?
44:24Yes.
44:25Go.
44:27Go.
44:33Good job.
44:34This season on Pauly Family...
44:36Hi, Dad.
44:38Hi.
44:39You know who that is?
44:40Baby Tristan.
44:41Hi, Tristan.
44:42Yeah.
44:43Baby Q.
44:44I'm ecstatic not to be pregnant anymore.
44:46Exhale, get low, give baby kisses.
44:47Hi, baby.
44:48One of the perks of polyamory is having two moms.
44:51I really want to go see a lactation consultant
44:53and see if I could breastfeed two.
44:55That is somebody's weird fantasy.
44:59So is this Tyler's baby or...?
45:02Paternity can be a sensitive subject.
45:04Sean and Tyler haven't been on the best terms lately,
45:06so the last thing I want is speculations about the boys' biology
45:10to drive an even bigger wedge between them.
45:13Well, I guess we know who the dad is.
45:17It didn't even cross our mind that blood type could indicate paternity.
45:22Legally, if there were to be a divorce in either marriage,
45:25paternity becomes an issue
45:27because child custody issues come up.
45:30I'm the one that doesn't have any rights to quit,
45:32and really, what the **** is your problem?
45:34That **** is scary to me.
45:35Like, if this ever goes away,
45:37biology does trump everything.
45:44My relationship with Taya has always been,
45:46I'll say intense.
45:47I love you.
45:48Everything's changed since I met her,
45:50and I would take none of it back.
45:56Did you guys have fun?
45:57It was good.
45:58Like, it was a little...
45:59Intimate.
46:00Okay, I'm out.
46:01That's information that I don't want to know.
46:05Because I feel like there's an undeniable physical attraction between them,
46:09and it almost looks like they're more in love than him and I.
46:15My family is the absolute number one priority to me,
46:18but things change when there's something very real and tangible in front of you.
46:24Okay, I'm scared, so you have to hold my hand.
46:27There definitely is flirtation going on.
46:29Like, that's for sure.
46:30Did I hide my crush?
46:31No.
46:32Our agreement for years has been that we don't date outside the four of us.
46:35Do you want to pursue a relationship with her?
46:37I don't know.
46:38Just being polyamorous in the first place,
46:39that's uncharted territory.
46:40Now we're completely off the map.